Shackled Stallions in the Solar Seraglio
Big Macintosh stared at the passing scenery as the chariot drew closer to Canterlot. I’m just a simple apple farmer, he thought. What am I doin’ on a royal chariot?
He had been paging through Ponyville Library's farmer's almanacs with Applejack, looking for a solution for their farm's rare apple beetle infestation when a noise behind him caught his attention. Twilight Sparkle’s mentor had unexpectedly landed from the sky, quite literally dropping in for a visit. Celestia, intent on a talk with her prized student, failed to notice the stunned siblings at first. Applejack nudged her brother, discretely at first, then harder when he failed to respond. When she did curtsy, Big Mac quickly followed with a deep bow.
The noise of their hooves on the library’s floor caught Celestia’s attention. Dismissing their obeisances, she inquired on the condition of the Apple family’s farm, and upon hearing of the plight, requested that Big Mac come to Canterlot for a meeting. Ponyville was not the only region battling the rare pests this year. Applejack volunteered her brother's services, as Big Mac could do little but nod.
Early the next morning, Big Macintosh was waiting outside his house, freshly groomed and wearing his finest bow. Soon, a royal air chariot with an crew of three pegasi had set down and whisked him on the his way taken him on his way to Equestria’s capital.
Big Mac thought back to his reaction to Princess Celestia’s sudden appearance. Beyond her beauty, her station and flowing unearthly mane, her sheer size had shocked him into silence.
It had been a long time since he had to look up to meet the gaze of anypony. Even as a foal he had been abnormally large, and when puberty began, Big Mac began to tower over adult mares and eventually stallions.
Big Mac knew it wasn’t right, but his mind kept on slipping back to Starlight, his first teacher, and her his first crush. She had the softest white coat, Big Mac remembered.
Big Mac managed to restrain a belch as the dinner wrapped up. The day had been more exhausting than he thought was possible for cityfolk.
First, he had helped the Canterlot librarians search through stacks and stacks of books for information on the apple beetle scourge.
Lunch had been a formal affair, and the strain of making sure he didn’t embarrass himself in front of the numerous Canterlot officials had prevented him from truly relaxing and enjoying the meal.
After lunch, he had joined Celestia in a meeting with her agricultural chairpony, Greenhoof. Together, they had set up protocols for dealing with apple beetle pests, but it had been surprisingly grueling work. He hated how he was occasionally reduced to simply answering “Eeyup” and “Nope” in the face of Greenhoof’s agricultural expertise and Celestia’s vast memory of similar historical events. Still, he felt content with his contribution to the pest control protocols, and Celestia had rewarded him with a dinner invitation.
Sated on food and job satisfaction, Big Mac failed to notice the two guardponies slipping away through the southern door of the small dining hall. Even if he had noticed, the apple farmer would have missed the significance, just as he had failed to understand the rarity of a private dinner with the Equestrian sovereign.
Celestia was sitting at the northern end of the dinner table. She clinked a shod hoof against her wineglass for attention. “Big Macintosh, thank you for being such enjoyable dinner company. I’m far too used to being pressed for this favor or that while dining.” She paused, then spoke carefully. “As you know, my sister Luna has been restored to her previous royal status, and is eager to meet new ponies after her long... absence. Would you mind if she ate breakfast with us as we enjoy dessert?”
Big Mac blinked a few times, puzzled why his consent was required. Finding his voice, he honestly replied, “Of course, your majesty. I’m just sorry I missed the party in Ponyville when she first returned.”
“Wonderful!” Celestia’s mane became slightly more animated. Big Mac gulped, engrossed with the way it waved back and forth, pushed by a solar wind in defiance of gravity. He had nothing against Luna, but she was not the real reason he regretted missing the party. “Luna, do come in here!” Celestia’s voice echoed in the cozy dining hall, sending shivers down Big Mac’s spine.
With a slow creek, the door opened in front of the dark coated alicorn. She poked her nose through the door. “Sister? I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” After a pause, Luna walked in, acknowledging Big Mac’s presence with a gracious nod. Two plates of candied hay and a bowl of purple cereal floated in after her.
“Luna, do meet Big Macintosh. He is the brother of Applejack, the current Element of Honesty, and quite the farmer.” Celestia gestured with her horn, and her plate settled down in front of her. The bowl of cereal rattled as it set down to her left in a previously prepared seating.
Big Mac watched in a daze as Luna came closer, apparently intent on personally serving him. “Princess, let me handle that.” As he stepped clear of the table, Luna whinnied in surprise, dropping the plate from her magical grasp and retreating to her sister’s side.
Celestia’s magic caught the plate and placed it neatly in front of Big Mac’s seat. “I apologize, Big Mac. Luna’s still unaccustomed to the greater size of modern day ponies. Modern nutrition makes quite a difference. Please forgive me, we must confer. Go ahead, begin.”
Big Mac took a hesitant bite of the sugary hay. Impressed by its delicate taste, he began to eat it in earnest. He focused on each bite, but could not help overhearing parts of the sisters’ whispered conversation.
“Unshorn... just as you...”
“-ear me apar-” Luna gestured, front hoofs wide. “... must insist … yours...”
“...first refusal...” The huddled princesses broke apart, Luna blushing while Celestia’s face was as poised as always.
Celestia began to eat as Luna turned to Big Mac, blush fading. “I apologize, honored guest. Ponies were much smaller in my day, and your...”, she paused for a second, tasting the words in her mouth before speaking, “sheer size shocked me for a second. Could... could you tell me of your farm?”
Few things were closer to Big Mac’s heart, and he enthusiastically described Sweet Apple Acres’ history, layout and orchards. Luna listened respectfully, taking the occasional spoonful of cereal, while Celestia sat back and picked at her desert. Her wide smile beamed as she watched the two.
When Big Mac moved to the methods of farming, Luna started to ask the occasional question. As she stated, “Farming changes slowly, but even small changes add up over a millennium”, and she was eager to update her knowledge.
As the night drifted on, Celestia interrupted Big Mac’s description of modern grafting techniques. “Luna, isn’t there something you’re forgetting?”, she gently chided.
“Oh, my! The Lunar rising, I’ve completely lost track of time.” She stepped back from the table, dabbing the milk from her mouth with her napkin. “Big Mac, I’ve enjoyed this, but I must run and prepare. I do hope we can have such pleasant intercourse again.” With a brief “Sister” to Celestia, Luna was gone through the northern door.
“When will that girl update her vocabulary?” Celestia finished the last of the confection, and focused on Big Mac. “I must confess to a double purpose, my sturdy citizen. You are not the first pony I’ve asked to dine with me so Luna could have a cheerful breakfast companion. After her long absence, my sister is a tad shy, and truthfully, large groups were never her element. These more... intimate meals have done much to introduce her to modern day Equestria and reassure her that nopony holds a grudge against her previous mistakes.” Celestia paused, smiling, and Big Mac struggled to avoid grinning back like a foal. “I do hope you don’t mind?”
“Eey- uh, certainly not, your majesty.” He strove to reassure her, “Ain’t it everypony’s duty to serve their princesses?”
“Oh?” Celestia hiked an eyebrow at him, reminding Big Mac once more of Starlight. She had often looked at him that way when he said something foalish, or occasionally, when he said something clever. “Were that all my subjects felt so.” She looked away for a second, caught in her thoughts, and returned her gaze, speaking briskly. “With night falling I’m afraid you simply cannot return to Ponyville. The chariot will return you in the morning, but please stay here in Canterlot Castle tonight, as a treasured guest.” Big Mac nodded enthusiastically, holding back his usual verbal tic.
“Wonderful! This way then.” Celestia stepped back from the head of the table. The same small door Luna had used swung open, and she paused there for Big Mac to catch up. The two trotted side by side down the hallway. Big Mac was again struck by the strangeness of being shorter than another pony, let alone a mare. Distracted, he barely stopped in time when Celestia halted, and missed her first words.
“- with two of my dear friends.” She gestured with a hoof at an ornately inscribed door. It swung open, interrupting Big Mac’s inspection. He frowned, wondering who would carve bridles and harnesses on a door. Celestia again gestured at the doorway, this time for Big Mac’s benefit.
Walking inside, he saw a large, lushly decorated room with three thick, recessed doorways on the other end. Two stallions, each wearing an ornate silver shackle without chain on a hind leg, looked up and swung their attention towards his entrance.
The left pony was an older unicorn, small and stocky, with a grey cliff for a cutie mark. He had the red coat and facial hair typical of the Stalliongrad herd. A look of a friendly challenge was stamped on his face, reminding Big Mac of the jocks he had wrestled with in school.
The other pony was one of the few stallions who neared Big Mac’s height, but the white pegasus was slender and graceful. His face was so serene and feminine that Big Mac half-wondered if he was one of those geldings he had heard of. His cutie mark was two blue feathers, crossed.
“Hello, neighbor,” the pegasus calmly greeted him.
“So he scared off Luna, huh, Celly?” the stocky one asked as she entered, shocking Big Mac.
“Oh shush, Rockclimber, you’ll scandalize him,” she scolded. “Big Mac, these are my dear friends Rockclimber and Featherfall.”
“Pleasure to meet ya, sir,” he turned to Featherfall, “and uh, sir.”
Rockclimber chuckled as Featherfall nodded in response. “Well met. I must withdraw, but wish to speak with you later, if you choose our way.” The pegasus bowed to Celestia, then turned and left through the right door.
“Good to meet you, lad! Hope you stick around, but I think I better skedaddle for now. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” With an insolent wave to Celestia, the unicorn left as well, closing the left door behind him.
Confused, Big Mac turned to face Celestia. Her face was stock still. “Big Macintosh, I must admit to yet a third purpose. I doubt you have heard, as this is quite private, but these are the quarters of my three consorts.”
Glancing at the middle door, Big Mac noticed a shackle hanging over the doorway. One pony plus one pony plus... it just doesn’t add up, he thought.
Celestia uncharacteristically fiddled with her hoof decorations, then straightened and spoke in a strangely formal way. “Ever since I took sole command of the Equestrian throne a thousand years ago, I have had three consorts. A unicorn, a pegasus and an earth pony. For various reasons, they must wear a single ceremonial shackle.” Head down, she ran her hoof across the floor, then continued. “They always have a room here, but are free to travel and live elsewhere for long stretches of time. For twenty years, they must stay true to me, and then must leave Canterlot to live their own lives.”
Celestia raised her head and stared at Big Mac. He looked up into her violet eyes, heart racing. For the first time in a long while, he felt weak as a colt.
“I have judged you today, and found you lacking none of the qualities of a consort.” His pulse thundered in his head as he hoped. “Knowing all this, do you, Big Macintosh, earth pony resident of Ponyville, consent to joining the Solar Seraglio?”
“Eeyup.” His answer came out without hesitation.
Celestia walked over to him and wrapped her wing around his side. Pressing her neck against his, she whispered into his ear, “Thank you.”
Stepping back and again straightening, she resumed her formal tone. “Then receive your shackle and be bound to Equestria and Celestia.”
Head bowed, he watched as the shackle lifted off the wall and floated towards him. With a click, it closed around his right hind leg.
Mane dancing wildly, Celestia laid a hoof on Big Mac’s shoulder. “I wish you had brought that fetching wooden collar, my not-so-little pony, but there will be time for that. Come, my new consort.” She led him through the middle doorway into his new quarters.
The royal alicorn and the earth pony farmer looked at each other with new eyes. Celestia drank in the sight of this massive young pony so eager and willing to please her. Big Mac gloried in the way this stunning mare towered over him, the only pony who could still make him feel like a colt.
They kissed, and it was sexy. And then Celestia and Big Macintosh had sex.
Fluttershy dropped the pencil from her mouth. “Oh, oh, oh, it’s just not right,” she moaned softly. “I can’t do this, and I never will. Oh, Fluttershy, you’re so useless!”
Angel slapped a paw over his face, and let it slide down. Hopping up on her shoulder, he gave her quick literary advice through vigorous paw gestures.
“A... Angel! ‘And then they all fucked’ is no better!” He shrugged and hopped down. “I’ll never win that literary contest, and I just don’t know what else to do to find the bits for the baby bunny sanctuary.” Her expression firmed into a cute look of extreme dedication. “If it’s for the baby bunnies...”
Later that day, Fluttershy reached Sweet Apple Acres. Spotting Big Mac in the fields, she marched over to the stalwart stallion.
“Big Mac, I need your help for a writing contest, and I won’t take no for an answer... if that’s okay with you, that is... will you help me?”
Big Mac stared down at the flustered pegasus, wondering just what she needed and how he could help with something book-related. He pondered pointing her towards Twilight Sparkle, but Fluttershy had always helped them out with animal problems on the farm. Besides, he thought, she was so adorable, so why not? It couldn’t be that bad, right? He shrugged and sealed his fate. “Eeyup.”
