The Fantastic Adventures of Dr. Whooves: The Planet Eaters

by The-Pony-Librarian

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Doctor Whooves, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 27253

It's been a little while since Twilight became the Doctor's companion.....But the TARDIS wasn't the only thing that traveled to Equestria.

Twilight had several analogies she liked to use to describe the difficulty of saying no to rarity, her favorite of which was "Imagine trying to flag down a train in the middle of the night while painted black...by jumping in front of it"

One peaceful spa trip with your friends isn't too much to ask, right?
Not when you're Twilight Sparkle......and definitely not when you're the Doctor's newest companion.
So when Zecora finds what appears to be a parisprite in the Everfree forest, but is actually something much, much worse, they have to race to make sure these parasitic creatures don't destroy Ponyville, or Equestria......or the world.
But of course nothing is that simple...... Twilight desperately wants to keep her friends out of the line of danger, but with Rarity playing matchmaker, Rainbow Dash playing spy, and Pinkie Pie being, well....Pinkie Pie, it's going to be a harder task than she thought.
Sequel to :The Changeling Princess

Published 2013-03-25 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-10 19:20:15 UTC

Chapter One

Chapter one
In which a sonic rainboom is performed and Rarity makes a mountain out of another mountain that, while still a mountain, is completely different that the mountain she has interpreted it as

A loud crack woke Twilight from her slumber, causing the unicorn to jerk herself upright with a yelp. She was confused for a moment, unsure what had startled her, and sat in her bed with a bemused expression on her face, then her eyes traveled to her window and realization dawned.
She quickly got out of bed and looked through the glass, smiling and the aura of colors that was spreading across the morning sky. Then, taking a moment to straighten up her bedhead with her magic, Twilight rushed outside, looking up at the ring of colors that ornamented the otherwise still heavens. She would never get tired of seeing sonic rainbooms, something about just them gave her a shiver down her back...Maybe it was imagining soaring through the air at the speed of sound just like her friend, the wind rushing about her. Even though Twilight loved having magic, sometimes she wished she could fly, just to feel that.
Her thoughts were interrupted as there was a sudden clattering of hooves and a familiar tannish earth pony raced into view "Sparkle! I think something is going on...there was a crack, and these strange colors have appeared in the sky- why are you laughing?"
Twilight wheezed, clutching her sides "Doctor, it's just a sonic rainboom....not aliens coming to destroy us"
She noticed that the Doctor perked up at the mention of "sonic." He liked sonic things
"Sonic whatnow?" He said, head quirking to the side like a bemused dog.
"Rainboom" Twilight said "It happens whenever Rainbow Dash breaks the sound barrier...something about a reaction between the atmosphere and her pegasus magic. Even I don't fully understand it, because nopony's ever done it before her"
"Rainbow Dash can break the sound barrier?!"
Twilight nodded "It's not a common thing for pegasai to be able to do, I think she's only the third one to have ever done it...She's getting better at it though" she turned her head up to the colors smiling like a filly "I'm not complaining. I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing the sky lit up like a rainbow"
The Doctor cracked a smile "It is rather pretty.... now that I'm not thinking of it as a sign of potential disaster"
"That's the spirit" Twilight said sarcastically, before going into her usual studious mode "I have some books on pegasus flight magic if you're interested, they might clear things up"
She trotted back through the door, cheerful from her morning dose of color.
The Doctor followed after her, grabbing the books she nodded towards and setting them on the table before heading over to the kitchen.
"Tea, Sparky?" he asked
The purple unicorn rolled her eyes at the nickname, but decided to ignore it. She had long since written it off as just being the Doctor's strange way of showing friendly affection.
"Sure why not-oof!" Twilight tripped over a scrabble box that had been left on the floor from the game her and the Doctor had played last night. She rubbed her head, getting up and starting to pick up the spilled game pieces with her magic "I'm afraid Earl Grey is all I really drink so I hope you don't mind... could you add cream and sugar to mine? Thank you"
"Earl Grey is fine" the Doctor said brightly "You're a mare a good taste. Jammy Dodgers are in the cabinet right?"
"Not for breakfast!"
"Mph?" The Doctor half replied, already having stuffed two of the biscuits in his mouth before Twilight even got the words out.
"....Too late"
"Heh. Sorry" The Doctor set to work preparing the tea, whistling tunelessly.
Smirking slyly, Twilight levitated a wooden scrabble piece and flung it at the back of his head through the kitchen door, causing him to jump.
"Oi!...ohh....oh I get it. You're still sore because I beat you last night aren't you?"
The purple librarian huffed in response "I still say raxacoricofallapatorius isn't a word"
"Does the name of your planet count as a word?"
"Well yes but-"
"My point exactly" the Doctor said triumphantly "So what if Raxacoricofallapatorius has a few more letters..."
Twilight made a face, giving a little huff of disapproval
"There there" The Doctor consoled "it was a close match. You probably would have won if I hadn't landed that triple word score box"
Twilight relented, laughing "It's kind of hard not to when your words stretch from one end of the board to the other" she gave a wry smile, levitating more pieces back into the game box "It's not many ponies who take me up on my offer of playing scrabble with two word tile bags...We almost filled up the board"
The Doctor chuckled, handing Twilight her teacup "Truly a scrabble game to rock the ages" he looked thoughtful "I'm surprised you don't play your friends for money, you could make bank"
Twilight giggled "My friends have learned to stop playing scrabble with me...except Rainbow Dash. She never learns. I usually let her win to spare her pride"
"Sore loser?"
"The worst. She's thrown game boards out the window on several occasions"
The Doctor couldn't help but laugh at that image, taking a sip of his tea "Interesting flavour....You're almost out by the way"
"It's a special blend Zecora makes for me, including some of the plants she finds outside her home in the Everfree" Twilight said before pausing thoughtfully "....I should probably introduce you sometime, you'd probably like her. She's a Zebra"
"Zebra, eh? Interesting"
There was a yawning noise, and a small purple dragon trotted down the stairs, still rubbing his eyes.
"Morning, Twilight" Spike said "you too ,Turner"
The baby dragon had grown used to the presence of the eccentric earth pony in the library, and payed him no particular heed, tottering off to the kitchen for some breakfast gemstones.
"You missed the sonic rainboom, sleepyhead!" Twilight called after him.
Spike just grunted. He was not one for mornings
Twilight smiled, shaking her head "I think you could crash the TARDIS into the library and it still wouldn't wake him up" Then she paused "Oh! I almost forgot!"
She rushed upstairs and came back down holding an item made of dark blue fabric with her magic.
"Tada!" Twilight said, setting them down in front of the Doctor.
They were saddlebags, the same color as the TARDIS and made of a soft, supple material that looked like it could take a lot of wear and tear. The Pocket flaps were decorated with hourglass fittings that kept the back closed.
"I figured since you didn't have any of your own, I could have Rarity make them for you"
The Doctor looked touched "Oh, thank you!"
Twilight grinned "That's not even the best part. Open them"
The brown stallion did as he was told, opening one of the saddlebag flaps and peering inside. He looked up, barking a short laugh.
"They're bigger on the inside!" he chuckled.
Within the right saddlebag was a storage area about the size of a large trunk, probably big enough for a pony to fit comfortably inside, fitted with easy to identify compartments and pockets, and stocked with regularly needed supplies, including a first aid kit, some useful tools, and a box of Jammy Dodgers.
"There are some outside pockets on the left saddlebag for items you want to be able to access more easily" Twilight explained "and the dimensional pockets in the saddlebags are connected, so the left saddlebag opens up on the opposite side of the space. The insides won't shift if you drop them, and the bags won't get any heavier than a comfortable carrying weight. I'm sorry it took so long, the spells were trickier than I imagined, and they still aren't perfect...but-"
"These are absolutely fantastic!" The Doctor said "I can't believe you did all this"
Twilight smiled "It's nothing, really."
"I suppose this means I have to stop stealing your saddlebags?"
Twilight laughed "Why do you think I gave you those ones?"
She levitated the saddlebags and settled them onto her friend's back.
"How do I look?"
Twilight rolled her eyes "You look wonderful Doctor"
She looked at the clock on her wall "Rarity will probably be here any minute now-"
There was a soft creak as a white unicorn pushed the library door open, smiling cheerily.
"Twiliiight!" Rarity sang "It's time for our spa trip!"
"Speak of the Devil" The Doctor quipped
Twilight stood up, finishing her tea and trotting over towards the door "See you, Doctor!" she called, waving.
As the door closed behind her, Twilight could swear she heard a clipped British accent murmur.
"Zecora.....hmmmmmm"
She resisted the urge to run back inside. She hoped the Doctor wouldn't get into too much trouble on his own for an hour....for once.
"Turner was certainly at the library early" rarity commented smoothly
"Sonic rainboom" Twilight replied "He had never seen one before, it certainly gave him a good scare. He came to the library to inquire about it"
That was mostly the truth, right? Twilight tried to lie to her friends as little as possible, walking the fine line between making up stories and straight up telling them that, yes she was in medieval Trotland Thursday afternoon, and no it is not weird that she is traveling to the past on a regular basis thank you very much.
"Hmmm" Rarity said, looking for the most part convinced, before brightening "You'll never guess who's coming with us?"
Twilight cocked her head "Pinkie? Applejack?"
"Nope!" a familiar raspy voice said, wing beats blowing Twilight's mane as a cyan pegasus landed beside them.
"Rainbow Dash?"
"The one and only!"
Twilight gave a confused look "But why, you never go to the spa with us....ever..."
At this the pegasus looked down, muttering something under her breath.
"What?"
Rainbow Dash mumbled something again, even faster than before if possible. This time Twilight thought she caught something, but...no, it couldn't be.
"Go on" Rarity prodded "Tell her"
"RaritydaredmetogetawingpreeninglastweekandnowI'mhooked!" Rainbow blurted, covering her face with her hooves.
That did it, Twilight burst out laughing, nearly falling over.
"Stop ittttttt" Rainbow whined.
"No, no, Dash, it's fine" Twilight said, wiping a tear from her eyes "It's okay to let your...*snerk*... girly side out once in a while"
She nearly fell over laughing again, unable to contain it. It wasn't the fact that Rainbow was getting a wing preening that made it hilarious, but rather the fact that the chromatic pegasus was so absolutely mortified by a completely normal thing. The Wonderbolts probably got professional preenings on a regular basis.
They pushed open the spa doors. Rainbow Dash was now completely red-faced, and even Rarity was struggling to control her chuckles.
"Seriously, Rainbow" Twilight placated as they were led into a spacious room with a pool of warm water in the middle "It's completely fine, you don't have to be embarrassed about it"
Rainbow snorted "yeah, yeah, of course. When is the awesome Dash embarrassed?"
Her purple friend just rolled her eyes, lowering herself into the warm water.
Rarity got into the pool as well, sighing. Then, looking to start a new conversation topic, she said "Soooo, Twilight. How long have you and Turner been dating?"
"WHAT?!" Twilight blanched, then sized up the situation. This was most definitely one of rarity's famous "overreactions." One look at Dash told her that the pegasus wasn't going to cut her any slack, especially after Twilight had needled her earlier. Then there was Rarity herself, Twilight had several analogies she liked to use to describe the difficulty of saying no to rarity, her favorite of which was "Imagine trying to flag down a train in the middle of the night while painted black...by jumping in front of it"
This was not going to be fun.
"Look guys" Twilight said "We're not together. We're friends. Friends."
The gauntlet had been thrown.
"I'm calling pony feathers on that" Rainbow said in retort "complete pony feathers"
"Rainbow! A lady doesn't use such...foul..... language. However, I agree with you" Rarity said bluntly, before cooing "Twilight, I know you might be embarrassed to admit it, that you -studious little Twilight- got a coltfriend, but we're your best friends. You don't have to hide it from us"
The white unicorn squealed "I can help you on dates! I'm the best advice for dating. Your romance will be beautiful! Well, not as beautiful as mine will be when I find, the one....but close. It will be like a story book, and I'll set everything up just so-"
Twilight rolled her eyes. It was fairly clear that Rarity wanted to use the supposed "Romance" to live vicariously through it. Rarity was a good friend, really, but sometimes she got much to caught up in her own fancies for her own (or anypony else's) good.
"As much as I hate that lovey dove-ey gunk, Rarity's right, egghead" Rainbow Dash said "I mean, you let him you Sparky.... The only other stallion I've ever heard calling you anything other that Twilight is your brother"
"Well haven't really been good friends with a stallion before!" Twilight protested "You guys call me Twi, don't you? Same concept."
"Well that's another thing" Rarity said "I don't think you've ever said more than ten words to a stallion, even Big Mac, who we've know for a while. Yet you're very friendly with Turner, and it's only been, what... a couple of weeks since you met him during the changeling infiltration?"
Twilight had to concede that was true. But while it had been only two weeks for their friends, Twilight and the Doctor had been traveling through time. Just yesterday they had spent nearly a week and a half in Pegastopolis looking for a bird-like creature destroying cities, and been home before dinner. From her perspective, she had known the time pony for quite a bit longer.
She gave Rarity a look "You do realize that you and I, not to mention Pinkie, Rainbow, AJ, and Fluttershy, became close friends in roughly a day, right?"
The white unicorn snorted "But this is a stallion we're talking about... Please Twilight, it's obvious that you two have something going on, so just tell us. You're perfect for each other"
Trust Rarity to take any relationship with a stallion and blow it out of proportion. It wasn't the first time. She had thought Sweetie Belle and Pipsqueak were dating once just because she spotted them talking after school.
Twilight had to admit though, if the Doctor had been a normal pony, she would probably have a gigantic crush on him. It wasn't unreasonable, he was smart, funny, and not half-bad looking.
That was the thing though. He wasn't a normal pony, and never would be. It almost relieved Twilight, she never had to worry about possible romantic interest. It just wasn't going to happen.
"Rarity" the purple librarian said slowly and levelly "Me and Turner are not an item. Please understand that"
Rarity blinked, then said slowly "Well, since you insist on denying the obvious truth to me, one of your closest friends, I must come to the only reasonable conclusion..."
Twilight looked hopeful, maybe Rarity would understand and accept that-
"YOU HAAAAATTTTEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Rarity sobbed dramatically
"No Rarity, I don't hate you" Twilight said through clenched teeth, looking very much like she did indeed hate Rarity at the current moment"
"Then tell me!" Rarity said, still wailing "Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me-"
"You know" Rainbow Dash said cooly, looking bored "You don't have to be embarassed about it, I mean, he is pretty good looking. In a dorky way. Like, totally not my type. Really."
"Tell meeeeeeeeeeeeee! Tellmetellmetellmetellmetellmeheeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Like, I mean... kinda attractive. If you're into that, like, quirky type. Which I'm not."
"TELLLL MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"I mean, maybe a seven or an eight. I guess. For you I mean. Like, he's okay...."
"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"
Twilight just sat wedged in a corner of the hot tub, trying to occupy as little space as possible as she prayed to Celestia for the torture to end. Just something, anything, to stop this madness.
"Excuse me?" A voice broke in. Lotus stood at the edge of the room, looking awkward.
All three ponies looked up, Twilight with a pleading expression.
"There's a stallion to see you Miss. Twilight, he says it's.....'an extreme emergency of the utmost importance'....."
Twilight paled "Would that stallion happen to be a brown earth pony? Messy mane? Kind of quirky in an, I-have-no-idea-what-you-are-talking-about, sort of way?"
Lotus nodded.
"Oh, buck" Twilight cursed under her breath. She decided that by 'anything' she had meant 'anything short of possible planetary disaster'.
She looked at her friends, knowing that by leaving, she would essentially be admitting defeat in their eyes
"Look, guys. Something really important has-"
"I KNEW IT" Rarity shrieked "YOU DO LOVE HIM!"
After that display, Twilight left the spa as quickly as possible, pondering what was scarier....and unknown threat that the Doctor classified as "an extreme emergency of the utmost importance" or Rarity trying to play matchmaker.

Chapter Two

Chapter Two
In which the Doctor is almost hit by an airborne Scootaloo missile, and a serious creature is dubbed an aptly un-serious name.

Earlier....
A brown haired stallion trotted down the street, looking around the brightly colored shops ponies.
He hummed softly, trotting down the main road towards the Everfree forest. Looking over to a shop
window, he fell silent for moment, only to realize that the tune was being carried on by a pony right
next to him.
The Doctor jumped with a short yelp, giving a small flail before recognizing who the pony was.
"Oh. Oh, Pinkie pie! You startled me...How long have you been walking with me anyways?"
"Since you passed Sugercube Corner!" Pinkie replied cheerfully
"But...that was almost four blocks ago.....How....You know what? Never mind." The Doctor shook his head "Do you think you could possibly show me to the way to Zecora's?"
At this the pink pony looked dejected "Sorry Doctor, but I'm super-dy duper busy planning for a party!"
"Who for?"
Pinkie giggled "I don't know yet! But my Pinkie sense told be that someone is going to ask me to throw a party today!"
The Doctor looked up nervously "Wait... Doesn't that mean something is going to be falling from the sky?"
"That's twitchy tail silly! This was an itchy eye, a tingly right foreleg, and an achy third molar!"
"Oh. That makes sense" there was a definite sarcastic tone to the Doctor's voice.
"I know right!" Pinkie smiled, immune to any form of snarkiness
"Well I guess I'll head off then..."
"Okie Dokie Loki!"
The Doctor began to trot away, and so did Pinkie Pie, bouncing happily.
A few meters away, the pink pony paused. Shivery back. That meant Rarity was trying to match up two ponies. Then there was a nose twitch, and a pinchy shoulder.
"...Poor Twilight" Pinkie Pie said, shaking her head. Then she perked up and headed back to the bakery.
Meanwhile, the Doctor trotted down a nearby street, making his way toward the huge dark green mass on the edge of Ponyville. A small hoof tapped him on the shoulder. He looked down to see a yellow filly with a bright red mane looking up at him.
"Oh! um...hello! do you need something?"
"Sorry, mister" the filly said, voice carrying a southern accent "But could you take a teensy step to the left?"
The Doctor moved over, saying "Alright...Is there any particular reason you had me do tha-"
"ALL CLEAR SCOOTALOO!"
There was a sound like the snapping of a large rubberband, and an orange filly shoot past the Doctor, tumbling through the air.
It's tiny wings buzzed as the young pony shouted jubilantly "I'm doing it! I'm flying!" before crashing to the earth a few seconds later.
The brown stallion winced sympathetically.
"Sorry about that, Mister" The yellow filly replied, a small white unicorn trotting up next to her "We're trying to help Scootaloo fly"
The orange filly, apparently Scootaloo, pulled herself off the ground, eyes unfocused "Woohooo!" She said "Let's do it again!"
The Doctor looked thoughtful "Would you happen to know the way to Zecora's house?"
"Sure thing! What for?"
"Picking up some tea for a friend...How about this? Instead of launching you friend through the air with...." for the first time the Doctor looked at the device that had made Scootaloo into a pony missile, an ugly patchwork thing that was basically a giant slingshot "....whatever that is. Why don't you help me find Zecora's hut?"
The three fillies looked up at him for a short time, giving no answer.
".....You know what? Maybe this was a bad idea. You've probably been taught not to talk to strangers and all that....I can find it on my ow-"
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TOUR GUIDES!!!!!" All three fillies shouted in unison, rushing over to the Doctor.
The white filly trotted in front of him, describing everything on the path "You see this? This is a rock! This rock is a very interesting example of ummm....ummm....Scootaloo help me!"
The Doctor chuckling, pondering this society in which most were kind to one another, and children had no reason to fear strangers. It was like something had sucked the everyday evil out of the world and used it to create a handful of extremely evil (but surprisingly defeat-able) villains. While leaving all the other sentient creatures for the most part kind and loving. He found ponies to be truly remarkable creatures.
Meanwhile, the three fillies were still pondering the rock, trying to come up with ways that it could be morphed into an interesting tour site.
"So you're....Cutie Mark Crusaders?" The Doctor asked slowly
"Yessir! We have dedicated our lives to the search for our cutie marks! I'm Applebloom, and this is Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo"
"Applebloom, eh?" The brown stallion said "I think I might know your older sister"
"Applejack?" Applebloom asked excitedly as they walked , the Doctor noticed she seemed like the spokes person...er...pony for the group.
"Yes that's it!" he looked to the white filly, who he assumed was Sweetie Belle since there were only three names, and the other's identities had been confirmed "I think I know your sister as well? Rarity was it not?"
Sweetie nodded eagerly "she's the best!" the filly exclaimed, voice squeaking "...,well, except when she's in one of her moods.... But still!"
The orange filly piped up, pushing the other out of the way "Do you know my sister?" Scootaloo asked.
The Doctor paused "No, I can't say I do"
"What! How can you not know Rainbow Dash! She's only the coolest pony in all of Equestria!"
"Rainbow Dash? Well you certainly do act like her...though I can't see any physical resemblance barring the fact that you're both pegasai"
At this the filly looked slightly sheepish "Well...she's not reaaaally my sister. But I really really really want her to be my sister so it still counts!"
The Doctor blinked, looking slightly off-put by that display, but shrugged it off.
"Well, I'm sure she finds that flattering in a creepy sort of way"
"Don't mind her" Applebloom said "She gets a little weird when it comes to RD"
"No I don't!"
"See what I mean? But anyhoof, who are y'all pickin' up tea for?"
"Twilight Sparkle" The Doctor said "You probably know her"
Sweetie Belle suddenly gave a gasp "I know who you are!"
"What?" both Applebloom, Scootaloo and the Doctor asked in unison.
"You're miss Twilight's very special somepony! My sister's always talking about you guys!"
"Awwwwww!" Scootaloo and Applebloom chorused
"ohhhh no, no, no. We're just good friends" The Doctor said quickly "You can inform your sister of that as well"
"Awwwwww....." All three fillies said dejectedly
The Doctor narrowed his eyes at them.
"Oh no" Applebloom said earnestly, guessing what he was thinking "We learned our lesson after we accidentally gave Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee a love poison and almost destroyed half the town"
"Love poison?" The Doctor asked, chuckling softly.
"Yeaahhh" Applebloom said "It's quite a long story....oh! There's Zecora's up there!"
"Brilliant!" The Doctor said cheerfully, before his eyes brightened as he got an idea.
The brown stallion slid out of his new saddlebags, opening one up and digging through it, muttering "I know they're in here somewhere! Why did Twilight have to make so many darn compartments?"
"Uhh...mister?" Scootaloo asked
"Mmmhmph?" The Doctor replied, emerging from the saddlebag with the box of biscuts in his mouth.
"How did you do that? You were almost completely inside the saddlebag"
"Dimentional distortion! Twilight used a spell to create an inter-dimesional room inside the bags...basically, it's bigger on the inside. Here" the Doctor handed them each a biscut "For being so helpful"
The three fillies gave their thanks, but seemed preoccupied with talking about how cool his saddlebags were
"Maybe we could do that!" Scootaloo said
"Make our clubhouse bigger on the inside!" Sweetie squeaked.
"I probably wouldn't try that if I were you-" the Doctor began, but was too late.
with a cry of "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DIMENSIONAL DISTORTERS" the three fillies had rushed off towards ponyville.
The Doctor laughed, shaking his head. Some things were the same in every universe.
He trotted up to the hut's door, rapping on the wood with a hoof.
It was quickly opened by an exotic looking Zebra, neck and foreleg adorned with golden rings.
"It appears I have a visitor, I have not seen you here before"
The Doctor quirked his head "Do you always speak in rhymes like that? I'm the Doctor by the way"
Zecora harrumphed, motioning for him to come inside "Who are you to judge my rhymes? You fell from the sky, and travel through time"
"....how exactly do you know about that?"
The zebra shrugged enigmatically "Though I reside in the Everfree, that doesn't restrict the things I see. You appear in tales from my homeland too, the wayward stallion in a box of blue"
The Doctor looked unnerved "That's...unsettling" he said slowly "I take it you're not from here"
"My home land of Zebrica is much more severe than the land the Princesses rule over here. The lions would hunt us and we lived in strife, we all ran in hid if we valued our life. In my lands rough and cruel was each day. I came here for peace, and now here I do stay"
"Why don't the Princesses help?" The Doctor questioned. He was surprised that the two princesses would not lend aid to this other land.
"Though hunted and scared, my people are proud. They would never beg for help out loud"
"I see" The Doctor said. He could relate to one's people dying, one's home being destroyed.
"Do not feel bad,this was all long ago. Most of my kind have come here like me, as you know. The ponies are good folk they help where they can. Slowly with time we're rebuilding our land. Though I love telling stories I do have to ask, surely you came here with some other task?"
"Oh, yes!" The Doctor "I was picking up some tea for my friend Twilight"
Once again the Doctor was struck by how, well....good... pony society tended to be. The colorful equines were natural born helpers and builders, raised to be compassionate and true. From he had seen, most were joyful, empathetic and altruistic, putting others before themselves constantly
Zecora nodded, smiling "Ahh yes, dear Twilight, a good friend through and through. I hope you're keeping her safe on her travels with you?"
"Yes, of course..... Although I have no idea how you know all this"
"It is of no importance at this point in time. Just be safe knowing you've picked a good partner in crime" Zecora handed him the bag of tea leaves "Sorry to be curt, I am busy you see. I fear I've made an unpleasant discovery"
"Unpleasant discovery?"
The Zebra sighed "I was looking for herbs when I caught a parisprite. If they are around here than something is not right. The Cockatrice usually keep them at bay, what will happen now, I cannot say. The Cockatrice population seems fine as well, so what is the matter I cannot tell"
"....Can I see this parisprite?" A sneaking suspicion was overtaking the Doctor.
Zecora produced a jar with a small red creature. The Doctor bent down to examine it, it was similar to the model of a parisprite Twilight had shown him, but it definitely wasn't one.
A pair of icy blue eyes narrowed
"You followed me through, didn't you? Clever, clever...Really fantastic how the universal walls adapt a creature into something more it's nearest universal counterpart" The Doctor said, walking around the jar and seemingly talking to the creature inside "Me, pony. You, parisprite. Fitting really, both of you eat everything in sight, but you, you're much nastier aren't you? I expect you won't stay so cute and cuddly for long."
He snorted "No wonder the Cockatrice wouldn't touch you. They could tell that something wasn't right. All I can say is that this world you're on, even though you cannot comprehend it, is a wholesome and lovely one, and you are not going to be destroying it on my watch."
The creature threw itself at the walls of the jar furiously, making an awful hissing noise.
"Brilliant!" the Doctor said sarcastically "It remembers me"
He looked to Zecora, who looked confused.
"I need to get this to Twilight immediately" he said seriously "It is not a parisprite, it is something much, much worse. If you see anymore, contain them at once. Make sure they do not get out at all costs"
He took the jar in his mouth and galloped out of the hut and the Everfree Forest. As he emerged from the trees , he stumbled upon the same three fillies as before
"Hey mister!" Applebloom called out "Did you get your tea?"
In a moment all three fillies were around him, asking all sorts of eager questions
"Look." he said around the jar "I can't talk right now, there's something really important i have to-"
"Is that a parisprite! Cool!"
"Oooh! Ooh! can I see?" Sweetie Belle attempted to grab the jar with her magic, but only succeeded in knocking it to the ground, where is shattered. The creature inside zoomed away.
"oops" Scootaloo said.
The Doctor looked at the jar.
"Oh bloody Hell"
Then he was off like a shot, racing through the streets of Ponyville towards the spa.
A few minutes later Twilight sat in front of him in a backstreet near the spa, looking an equal mix of annoyed and concerned.
"You went into the Everfree alone?!"
"not exactly, I had the Cutie Mark Crusaders with me, but that's not important right-"
"You brought three fillies with you into the Everfree!?"
"Well yes, but that's not important-"
"Doctor, the last time I went into the Everfree I got turned into stone! Applebloom, or Sweetie, or any one of them could have gotten hurt-"
"Twilight!"
"What would their sisters say to me?"
"Twilight Sparkle!" The Doctor half-roared "I know you're upset about this, but it does not matter one bit right now! What does matter are that there are creatures on the lose that could ravage your entire world. Everything. Poof. Bye- bye. And It won't stop there, it will destroy any inhabited planet that it can. I've seen these creatures in my universe. They are nasty stuff. They're not mindless either, they have just enough intelligent to comprehend the destruction they are committing and enjoy it. If given the chance, they will kill every single living thing on this planet, and we have to stop it, do you understand? I'm pretty sure that is more important than me going into the Everfree forest, don't you?"
Twilight had shrunk back, wide eyed, and gave a very Fluttershy-esque meep in response to the tirade.
"I- I'm sorry..."
The purple unicorn hung her head, shoulders hunched, looking ashamed.
"No, no, it's not your fault" the Doctor put a hoof on her shoulder "It's just, I've seen what these creatures have done in my universe. I don't want that to happen to yours"
"But, it was wrong of me to-"
"Sparky, it's fine" The Doctor said "and right now, I need you to be your usual ingenuitive self, not feeling guilty over something meaningless, alright?"
Twilight looked up, giving a small smile "Could you describe what it looked like?"
"small, insect, six legs, large multifaceted eyes, winged..."
"Doctor...I'm pretty sure that's a-"
"Parisprite, I know" The Doctor replied "But it isn't. Not entirely. You see, when things cross over the walls of the universe, they get changed into their universal counterparts...or the closest thing to them that exists in that universe. Like I turned into a pony, we were both 'ponified' in a sense. Even the TARDIS changed. It's a bit more hoof-friendly than it used to be. Now, when I first stumbled across parisprites, I noted the similarities between them. Parisprites are this universe's version of them."
"So if it turned into a parisprite, wouldn't it be just as harmless as one?"
"That's the thing though. I was turned into a pony, but I can still regenerate, sense fixed points.... I'm still a Timelord, I'm just changed into an equine form. So, this creature, although turned into a more parisprite like creature in form...because trust me, the ones in my universe were not as lovably pastel colored..."
"It still retains at least some of it's old nature" Twilight finished "...So exactly how different are these creatures from parisprites?"
The Doctor laughed without any real mirth "Well, first they aren't susceptible to polka music as far as I know. Second, while they multiply like your parisprites, they grow in size with each multiplication. They will consumes anything and everything, literally eating entire planets before picking up and moving onto the next one"
Twilight gulped "What exactly did these creatures do in your universe?"
The Doctor sighed "Too much...And now one's followed me here"
The purple unicorn looked deep in thought "There's only one now, right?"
"Not for long, but yes"
Twilight suddenly paused "Do these creatures have any sort of name?"
The Doctor looked bemused "Is that really that important right now?"
"Well we can't just go around calling them creatures! It's confusing and annoying"
The Doctor caved "Well, they actually don't have a name really. The only reference made to them with any sort of tile calls them the "Consumer of worlds" and that's pretty unwieldy...suppose we'll have to come up with one"
They both fell silent for a moment, deep in thought
"COWS!" the Doctor said suddenly "Like, C-O-W...Consumer-Of-Worlds. Cows!"
"Doctor, that's a horrible name."
"Well do you have a better one?"
Twilight nodded, smiling smugly.
"Well let's hear this supposed better name then shall we" The Doctor said
"Scarisprites!" Twilight said, folding her hooves victoriously
"Not fair." The Doctor pouted "You ponies are unnervingly good at coming up with pun based names"
Twilight just smirked, then took on a more serious tone.
"I think I know a spell that could bind them, but I would need to go get some of my books...it's really complex"
"Well, what are we waiting for? To the library!"
As they raced down the streets of Ponyville, the Doctor said
"Oh! Nearly forgot!" He withdrew something from his saddlebag "Here's your tea"

Author's Note

Writing CMC? Fun.
Writing Zecora? Super not fun. NEVER AGAIN.
All those freaking rhymes!
I actually had this written last weekend but couldn't get it up and published because my school decided homework is awesome and we should have more of it.
MURPHYYYYYYYY! *shakes fist*
(If that really confused you, Murphy is the pony personification of Murphy's law. If you don't know who the evil little bastard is or where he came from, go check out Pony-In-A-Box or Squeakanon, as they came up with him. They are super awesome. Seriously. If you don't know who they are, you should)

Chapter Three

Chapter Three
In which a highly tactless party is thrown, and Spy Dash discovers the wonders of literature

When they walked into the Books and Branches library, Twilight instantly knew something was wrong. For one, all the lights were out, Spike was supposed to have opened the library today. A dark library usually wasn't an open one.
Secondly, the library didn't have the usual spell of books and old pages and lavender scented potpourri. It smelled like food, more specifically, cake.
Oh, no.
"SURPRISE!!!"
All the lights flicked on, and Twilight and the Doctor found themselves surrounded by at least fifty ponies. Front and center most were Twilight's five closest friends, all beaming.
Rarity looked like she was about to explode with excitement, and began talking almost at the rate of Pinkie Pie "When I realized how shy you were about you and Timeturner, I was so heartbroken! But then I ran into Pinkie Pie, who said that she was planning for a party....And I had the perfect idea! If you were to shy to admit it to me, then why not throw you a party and invite everyone in Ponyville!"
Twilight thought that was an absolutely terrible idea, and opened her mouth, presumably to tell Rarity exactly how terrible it was, but only incoherent squawks came out. Apparently was too utterly mortified to verbally communicate. Wonderful. Way to go Rarity. A party for a relationship that didn't exist. Just fabulous. Could this get any worse?
"Whaaaaatt?"
Twilight's face turned an interesting color as she remembered that the Doctor was there too. She had been wrong....it could get worse. She caught herself halfway through an involuntary teleportation spell, and suppressed the instinct to get as far away from the situation as physically possible. She needed the book. Equestria was at stake.
"Could somebody tell me what's going on?" The Doctor asked again.
Rarity looked aghast "Don't tell me you're all shy about this too!"
"Shy...about what exactly?"
"You and Twilight being in love of course!" The white unicorn gushed in reply, as if it were obvious.
There was a long pause.
"What"
"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Rarity scolded "I know it's true so there's no use denying it!"
"What"
The Doctor's eyes flicked to Twilight, who simply tried to convey telepathically how very sorry she was for the whole thing.
"Rarity!" Twilight began
"Don't want to hear it!" Rarity sang
"Rarity there's something really important going-"
The unicorn's sapphire eyes narrowed "Oh no. You're not going anywhere! You are going to enjoy this party!"
It was at this moment that Spike chose to walk in, crunching a handful of jewels and looking at Rarity as if she were the most beautiful thing in Equestria
"So Rarity" he said "Not that I mind you using the library and all...like, seriously. You can use it for anything. Anytime. You're always welcome here..... But what is all this for?"
"Oh!" Rarity perked up, "I didn't tell you did I? Twilight and Timeturner are dating!"
The baby dragon's pupils shrank as his eyes flicked from Twilight, to the Doctor, back to Twilight.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
He ran out of the room, screaming.
"Spike, wait, this is all a misunderstand-"
A door slammed upstairs, and Twilight cut herself off with a huff. Now Rarity had probably scarred her baby dragon for life. After all, Spike hadn't even been able to handle Twilight getting Owloysius......She started to follow him.
"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Rarity chided "Spikey-Wikey probably just needs to be alone for a while"
She forcibly steered Twilight and the Doctor toward the crowd.
"Now there are lots of other ponies who want to congratulate you!"
Rarity squealed and trotted off "I need to go get something, I'll be right back!"
"What"
The Doctor appeared to be in shock.... Twilight winced sympathetically.
During the next few minutes they were jostled around by ponies of all colors, all offering cheery felicitations and brushing off any protests. Apparently Rarity had warned them.
Finally they came to Pinkie Pie, who was standing in a corner of the room bouncing up and down happily with her mouth full of cake.
"Hey Twilight, Hey Doctor, isn't this fun?"
Twilight growled, her mane had begun to stick out in an errant fashion and her ears were pressed flat against her head "No Pinkie. No this isn't fun! Why would you throw this party for Rarity? You know the Doctor and I are friends!"
"weeeeellllll" The pink party pony said "I thought you were just friends. But then Rarity told me you weren't, and I was like...I'm pretty sure they're just friends, but she said she was absolutely tootly positive you were together, and then I started thinking I could have missed something. What if you actually were together and I didn't throw you a party? Then you never would have gotten a Pinkie party! And that would be horrible! So I had to throw it!"
Twilight face hoofed "Look Pinkie, it's fine" she sighed "But the Doctor and I really need to get out of here! There are dangerous bug creatures on the loose and every minute we stay here is another minute they have to grow and multiply! Can you make a distraction?"
"Sure thing, I-"
"Twilight, darling, there you are!" A cultured voice said.
Twilight cursed her luck as the white unicorn sailed over, beaming and carrying two little packages in her magic "I have gifts!"
"Rarity" Twilight said "You really don't need to-"
"OPEN IT!"
The tastefully wrapped packages were shoved forcefully at the Doctor and Twilight, who wisely began to open them, not wanting to risk Rarity's wrath.
Twilight, who was both better with her hooves and had the aid of her magic got her's open first, levitating out a small, plush, brown object. Further inspection revealed it was a small doll of the Doctor, covered in soft fabric and carefully made. It would have been rather impressive if it weren't so wonderfully creepy.
The Doctor had opened his package as well, and appeared to have also received a doll, only in Twilight's likeness. He looked at it with a bewildered expression.
"Aren't they lovely!" Rarity cooed "I hoof stitched them myself! It took nearly a week, but I think the result turned out fabulous! Now you can always hold each other!" She squealed, clearly very pleased with herself.
"Gee, Rarity" Twilight said "It's....wonderful... I, um....Really like it's mane?"
"Oh, um yes" The Doctor joined in "They're...Um...Great!"
"I'm so glad you like them!" Rarity gushed, trotting back into the party, and leaving the two ponies staring awkwardly at the plush dolls in their hooves.
"I'm guessing now would be a good time for the distraction?" Pinkie said
"Wonderful" Both Twilight and the Doctor said in unison
"Here's that book you needed!" Pinkie chirped, suddenly holding a tome in her mouth.
"I- what...how? I didn't even tell you I needed a....oh never mind"
Twilight took the book in her magic, while Pinkie examined the doll that was also in her magical grip
"You know" the pink pony said "He makes a pretty cute plushie!"
Twilight rolled her eyes, setting both items inside her saddlebags before, sidling slowly over to the back door, closely followed by the Doctor. As they made their way slowly towards the exit, Pinkie Pie jumped up, pointing over to an empty spot on the wall opposite from that shouting "QUICK, LOOK OVER THERE!"
Everyponies head turned, and Twilight and the Doctor ran out the Library door like Discord himself were on their tails.
They galloped at least a block away before slowing down, resting against a shop wall.
"I am so, so sorry!" Twilight said "Rarity...I tried to tell her..but-Hey! it's not that funny!"
The Doctor had almost fallen to the ground laughing, and he slowly got up, still chuckling.
"Honestly, I'm used to it" The Doctor said, shaking his head "...I cannot tell you how many times I was called Mr.Noble. Though I've never been thrown a party before....or given a plush version of the person....that was a little weird."
"Yeahhhh...." Twilight said
"You have the book?"
Twilight nodded
"Alright...Let's find us some scarisprites then!"

High above, a pegasus watched from a cloud. Beating her wings slowly, she propelled the cloud forward, talking to herself as she did so.
"Spy Dash log, day umm...one. Time is exactly..ummm....nevermind....Followed subjects after they slipped away from party....Motives unknown....Behavior is suspicious....."
The pegasus moved forward, peering over the edge of the cloud while singing her own spy music under her breath.
"Boo, do dum......Doo do dum.....boo do dum.....Doo do dum"
Something green and whirring bumped into her, cutting off her awesome theme music
"Tank!" the pegasus hissed "Get outta here! I'm doing something important!"
The turtle continued to bump into her side, propeller whizzing.
"ugh, fine....but stay low" The pegasus shoved her pet lower into the cloud and continued to use her wing beats to scoot her cloud....or as she liked to think of it, her super top secret spy vehicle, forward. She started to sing under her breath again
"Ba da dum, do do do...... Bah da da, do do do.....Ba da da, do do do.....BA DA BE DUM!"
Below her, a lavender unicorn looked up quizzically, and the pegasus quickly hid above her cloud....maybe she should tone the dramatic background music down a bit.
The pegasus continued to propel herself forward after her two targets, Rarity might be quick to write it off as the being 'in love' and all that gunk, but she knew something else was going on. Something fishy. Really fishy.
Maybe Turner was a Maressian spy, and using Twilight to get close to the princess! Or maybe he wanted to use her magic in some sinister ritual to bring Nightmare Moon back! Or maybe he was a time traveling alien who...no, that was silly.
But whatever was going on, she didn't like it one bit. What kind of element of loyalty would she be if she didn't investigate?
The pegasus smiled, Spy Dash was going to figure this out. Even if she had to tail them all day.
She watched as the two ponies stopped just outside the Everfree forest, and leaned forward in anticipation as Twilight drew something from her saddlebag...the pegasus bet it was going to be something super cool and top secret, like a laser gun, or a secret necklace that turns you into an Alicorn....Slowly, Twilight turned to her earth pony friend, revealing it to be......
A book?! A stupid, plain, ordinary book?
"OH COME ON!"

Down below, the Doctor looked up to see a familiar Rainbow maned pony kicking at cloud above and a little to the left of them, cursing vividly about the stupidity of books
"Sparkle? I think we have a problem"

Author's Note

I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, hopefully Rarity being insane, coupled with Spy Dash make up for it.

Chapter Four

Chapter four
In which Twilight meets her mini-self, and some difficulties arise, mostly involving attempts to not be eaten

Twilight looked up, wincing at the horrible profanities that were currently being thrown towards literature of all sorts my her friend.
"Well this is....problematic" She said.
"Yeahhhh...."
"Run while she's distracted?"
"My thoughts exactly!"
The pair quickly moved into the forest away from Rainbow Dash, trying to put as much distance between her and them as possible. Twilight had the book levitated above her face, and was attempting to both read it and dodge around obstacles.
"I'll need some spell ingredients" Twilight said "This is a big one....I'll need some chalk, salt and...." She growled "Mugweed? Where am I going to find mugweed! Oh...forest...right"
She glanced about the leaf litter on the floor as they ran and plucked a single, ugly plant.
"That was easy"
"Can't you just do the spell?" The Doctor asked.
Twilight harrumphed "Just because I'm good at magic doesn't mean I'm an alicorn! Without the elements of harmony, this spell is extremely challenging!"
"Alright alright! No need to get touchy about it, where can you get these ingredients?"
"I don't kno-oohhhhsweetCelestia that is not a parisprite"
Twilight stopped dead in her tracks, causing the Doctor to bump into her and fall to the ground. She looked the disgusting bug-like creature emerging a tangle of bushes in front of her. It was at least as big as Owloysius in size, and, as she watched, it ate the brier it had just clambered out of, doubled in size, and vomited out a replica of itself. More emerged from the nearby foliage, hissing angrily as they spotted the Doctor, and gnashing their mouth-parts sickeningly.
"Doctor...."
"Yes?" The Doctor picked himself up, shaking his head "...oh. Those. We should probably run. Again."
Twilight wondered exactly how many calories she burned everyday just in the simple activity of constantly running away from things. Hay, she could probably beat Applejack in a hoofrace by now. As they emerged from the forest only minutes after they entered it, she took a moment to thank her lucky stars for the incredible length of Dash's temper tantrums.
"Go to the house behind us" Twilight barked "Get inside and see if they have the ingredients. I have an idea"
She stopped running and turned around, facing the bug horde as the Doctor galloped off behind her, sidestepping smartly in an attempt to keep him out of their vision. Then she used her magic to draw a detailed, painstakingly sewn plush out of her saddlebags. Even though it was a life or death situation, she still felt a little guilty over what she what was going to happen to it.
"Who wants the Doctor?" She cooed, wagging the plush back and forth in front of the scarisprites.
The group of creatures had come to almost a complete stop, all gazing at the small stuffed doll in Twilight's magic. They turned their large bulbous bodies back and forth, tracking it as she slowly moved it left and right, backing up.
"Gogeddit!"
She used her magic to chuck the Doctor replica as far as she could behind them, putting a simple animation spell on it, as soon as the plush hit the ground it took off running as fast as it's stuffed legs could carry it.
Twilight held her breath as the entire pack of scarisprites wavered, then a heartbeat passed, and they gave chase to the thrown plush.
A giggle forced it's way into Twilight's throat "I can't believe that actually worked"
It hit her that the Doctor must feel like that all the time, the rush of a half baked plan actually succeeding, she laughed again, then galloped off in the same direction as the Doctor had.
Meanwhile, the Doctor knocked furiously on the door of a quaint cottage, hopping up and down in place as he waited for someone to answer.
A purple filly with a yellow mane opened the door to the cottage
"Momma isn't home right now but I can take a message for..."
She trailed off, eyes focusing behind the Doctor to small lavender unicorn facing off with a gigantic horde of bugs a little ways away.
"Woah."
"Look. There isn't any time" The Doctor said "Twilight over there is distracting them for the moment, but it won't last long, in the meantime, do you have any salt or chalk?"
"Why?"
"Well...I...I don't really know actually...I'm not the one with all the magic-ey knowledge...But that's not important right now!"
There was a galloping of hooves and Twilight came to a stop beside him
"Inside" She said "I need to put a shield spell over this house as soon as possible"
Twilight shut the door and lowered her head to it, concentrating fiercely. Contrary to the hopes of almost every single student in magic kindergarten, shield spells were deceptively difficult. It had taken Twilight months of practice to be able to effectively block magical attacks, and nearly a year's more after that before she could block physical assaults with one. The universe was notoriously adverse to being divided by any sort of magical barrier, quickly wearing it down to nothing if a unicorn didn't have the focus or the power to maintain it. However, magical barriers were considerably easier to sustain and strengthen if performed on a wall, or especially the entryway to a home. These things already carried the strong idea of division and separation, and worked with the magic rather than against it. Twilight hoped it would be enough.
She backed up, mentally surveying her hoofwork and probing for any weak spots.
"Alright!" She said, her voice carrying the strained cheerfulness of a pony trying to remain optimistic in an emergency "Would you happen to have any dried lavender?"
She took a moment to properly look at the pony she was addressing
"Oh.....My....I was expecting you to be a bit older"
The filly smirked "Just because I'm youthful doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of comprehending everything you just said....From the ingredients you asked for are only used is a couple of castings, so you're probably performing a turn-to-stone spell, am I correct?....I suppose you could be performing a storm summoning spell, but considering the gigantic insects, the former seems more probable"
The Doctor and Twilight exchanged glances.
"Stars of Castoberus..." The Doctor murmured to Twilight "She's like a tiny you"
The tiny unicorn swelled with pride "I'm studying to enter Celestia's school for gifted unicorns! Last week I was able to levitate a book for the first time, but I'm already studying more spells to learn"
Twilight gave a soft smile "I'd say you're on track. What was you name again?"
"Dinky Doo!" Dinky chirped "You're Twilight Sparkle right?"
Twilight nodded as Dinky lead them to the kitchen, pointing out the ingredients they had asked for as well as a couple of other common items needed for larger spells.
"There are muffins on the counter if you want them....my mom makes tons" she looked to the Doctor, who was already shoving one in his mouth "What's your name, Mister knows-nothing-about-magic?"
"Oi! I'm new here.....We don't have this stuff where I come from, Miss Snooty"
Twilight chuckled "I think we're going to be friends, Dinky"
She looked out the window "Looks like my shield spell is holding up well...there are a few sniffing about the edges, and holy Celestia are they big, but they haven't broken in yet. If I can just get this spell set up, I might be able to perform it from here and- They're leaving"
The Doctor craned his neck "I have a feeling that's very bad"
"It looks like they're heading west, towards....."
"The Library."
"My friends!" Twilight said in horror.
"Oh, no" The Doctor said "You're friend will come later, after they've gotten what they really want. They have their eyes set on a bigger prize"
"The TARDIS" Twilight said, a cold chill spreading down her spine. Parisprites took the energy from whatever they ate, and converted it into magic used to spawn copies. If scarisprites worked the same way, and they were able to get to the TARDIS...
"Sweet mother of Celestia."
"We need to get there before they do." The Doctor had already taken off running, and Twilight followed after unraveling the shield spell, and collecting the magic energy inside rather than letting it dissipate, figuring she would need it.
They darted out of the house, leaving a rather confused filly behind them, and headed towards the library. As Twilight ran, she spotted a small brown object lying on the road, half torn apart.
She picked the rent plush up in her magic, wincing at the damage. She decided she should take it with her, Celestia knows what would happen if Rarity found her precious doll in that horrible state.
"Is that the plushie of me?" The Doctor said, noticing the item "What happened to it?"
"You don't want to know" the unicorn shoved it in her saddlebags.
Twilight spotted the bug horde in front of them and slowed, unsure how they would get past it without getting eaten or maimed. Then it hit her, and she rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. Closing her eyes, she focused on a teleportation spell to the library back alley.
A moment later, Twilight was stumbling headfirst into the side of a large blue box, the Doctor close behind her.
Twilight shook her head, wishing momentum wasn't conserved by teleportation spells. She made a mental note not to do that spell while running ever again.... considering how hard the Doctor had faceplanted into the TARDIS, he must have been at a full gallop.
As Twilight helped him up, her ears flicked, picking up a screech from nearby. It was hard to hear over the thrumming music from the party in the library, but it made Twilight jump all the same.
"Inside the TARDIS. We have to get her out of here" the Doctor said, as the first bug rounded the corner. It was gigantic, dwarfing the two ponies as they scrambled inside the blue box.
The Doctor rushed over to the console and started to move knobs and switches at a frantic pace as Twilight watched helplessly, unable to do anything to help and disliking it greatly. She bounced on her hooves, shooting nervous looks at the door.
The TARDIS shuddered slightly, causing both ponies to look up. Twilight's features brightened hopefully.
"D-Did you get it?" She said, trying to keep the shake out of her voice "were you able to move the TARDIS?"
Her question was answered by the TARDIS tilting, jolting, turning over, and finally settling down in a semi-upright position....Twilight sincerely hoped that hadn't been what she suspected it was....
She from where she had braced herself in a corner, rubbing new bruises, and looked over to the Doctor. He had already pulled himself up and was back at the console, working furiously. He threw a lever. Nothing happened.
"Did...Is...Is the TARDIS...?"
"Yes Twilight. The TARDIS, and therefore both of us, are currently stuck inside of a gigantic bug"
The Doctor's tone was flat, his expression unreadable. That face was dangerous on the Doctor. Even though she knew that she wasn't his enemy, it still made her want to back up, to get as far away from that stony face as possible. Twilight felt herself shrinking back slightly.
"How long do we have before...." She trailed off, the subject of being digested alive was never a pleasant one, and she was reluctant to put that thought into words and make the possibility that much more real.
"I don't know!" the Doctor snapped "I don't bloody know! And if we don't get out of here, then these creatures, these things that I brought here, will destroy everything. Absolutely everything. This whole world, this whole lovely, bright world, full of hundreds of millions of innocent people will be gone because of me!"
Twilight could feel his blue eyes, those deep, clear, sad eyes, pierce into her sharply. They carried so much melancholy and self-hatred in them.
Twilight wasn't stupid. She had known about the sadness there, seen glimpses through the Doctor's valiant attempts to hide it. She had wondered about it of course, but though curious, Twilight was never a pony to pry. She just accepted it, and tried her best to ward that sorrow away, if only by being a friend.
"Doctor, it'll be alright-"
"Will it? Will it? Because I've tangled with these things hundreds of times and they are merciless. I was barely able to save Earth, and there were many more places I couldn't save. Not entirely. People died, and they all died scared and frightened and confused....all those people with families and friends and homes and lives. Lives that will never be completed! Knowing that maybe you could have saved them if you'd just done something differently, but now you'll never know and they will never come back. Now this is happening to your world, and I am stuck inside of one of these disgusting creatures and I can't do anything to stop it! So you tell me, is it going to be alright?"
Twilight's mouth pressed together in a thin line as she stood taking in those words. She tried to imagine what it would feel like to have the power to change the very fabric of time, what it would be like to feel responsible for keeping everyone, everywhere safe, how much it would hurt to believe deaths of everypony she couldn't save were her fault, and to feel all those deaths as keenly as if they were her family, and as freshly as if they had happened yesterday.
It would break her, that amount of pain.....and that, the worst pain she could imagine, was only a fraction of what she saw in those blue eyes. Twilight knew that if she had to carry that with her, it would tear her apart piece by piece from the inside until she couldn't do anything but lay on the ground in a heap, paralyzed by the guilt from both her past failures, as well as the ever growing guilt of knowing that as she lay on the floor, there would be ponies that she could have helped, dying....
But there were ponies that needed them now, that needed him now. Ponies that were her friends and needed one pony more that anypony else, and that pony was the Doctor. It was time for some tough love.
"Doctor.... Shut up." Twilight snapped "If there is anypony can do this, it's you. And do you know why? Because, you don't stop fighting. Ever. Throughout every single adventure you've taken me on, you have never given up, and by Celestia's mane you sure as hay aren't going to now! This is going to be okay, and we are going to fix this, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and give me an estimate on exactly how long we have before we get dissolved in digestive juices, okay?"
A small smirk spread slowly across the Doctor's face despite his best efforts, and soon he had bursted into a fit of chuckles.
"This is serious, Doctor!"
The Doctor continued to chortle "Oh no, of course it serious-" a suppressed laugh escaped with a snort "Twilight Narkle"
Twilight bristled, partially because of the terrible pun and partially because she had been called a nark just for telling the Doctor off "I am not narking you! I-"
Then she stopped, seeing the Doctor shoot her a wink. It was quick, so quick she almost missed it, but the message was clear. He meant no offense, he was just doing what he did best, covering the sadness with laughter, and maybe, just maybe, there was a thank you in there too.
The purple unicorn let herself laugh, because sometimes the only thing you could is laugh. Look at the shadow hanging over you and laugh in it's face, just to show it that it hasn't won. Though she felt foalish for doing so, she hoped that the scarisprite could hear them laughing. She hoped that somehow their laughter would reach that evil creature and scare it. She knew it was silly, but the thought made her feel a little better.
As their snickers slowly died down the Doctor said "In all honesty though, I don't have any idea how this might play out. The TARDIS is resilient...but then again she's never been swallowed before. That one's new actually, not often I get to say something is new for me" He looked at his hooves "These few weeks have been full of surprises....unfortunately this isn't quite as pleasant as being dropped into a world of colorful ponies"
"So you have no idea what might happen"
"No clue."
"Lovely" Twilight stood up straighter and looked around the TARDIS control room with a critical eye scanning for anything that might be useful "Let's get this party started"

Author's Note

One quick thing.
The term nark is being used as in "Bossy or scolding" not as in "Undercover narcotics agent"
Just figured I would clear that up.
Hope this chapter is alright, I'm not quite fully happy with it, but it's the best I think I can currently get at the moment, so hopefully you enjoyed it.

Chapter Five

Chapter Five
In which a plan that sounds like it would be much too easy to be true turns out to be much to easy to be true, and the Doctor tries to help Twilight's Achluophobia by telling her all about the Vashda Nerada

Leaning down, Twilight looked at the TARDIS door with a critical eye "You know" She said thoughtfully "I might be able to put a sheild spell around the perimeter....wouldn't that be convenient"
Despite the niggling feeling that doing so would be far too easy, she sat down and focused her magic. Almost immediatly afterwards, she broke off the spell, coughing violently and falling backwards away from the entryway, propping herself on her elbows.
"Are you alright!?" The Doctor said, eyeing Twilight with worry as she shakily got to her hooves, still coughing slightly.
"How big is this thing!?" she wheezed, indicating the TARDIS interior with a forelimb as she leaned against the TARDIS console.
The Doctor blinked "Very."
"Well that explains it" Twilight said wryly "It felt like I was trying to put a shield spell over all of Equestria....more than Equestria actually, it felt like I was trying to put a shield spell over everywhere and every-when at the same time.....and it sucked"
She coughed again
"Imagine the worst ice cream headache you've ever had, followed by eating at entire ice cream sundae, multiplied by ten and all that pain squeezed into the period of about one second"
The Doctor winced "That sounds...unpleasant"
"Yeah. Remind me to never try that again okay?" Twilight then looked thoughtful "Hmm...I wonder"
She closed her eyes and there was a brief flash of magic, followed by Twilight sinking to the floor cradling her head in her hooves.
"Owww....."
"What in the universe did you do it again for?!" The Doctor said
Twilight pushed herself upright "Wasn't the same spell" She said through gritted teeth, rubbing her horn with her hooves as if trying to restore circulation "That was a levitation spell I tried on the TARDIS this time, like the one I use to lift books.... I suspected that it would produce similar results to the teleportation spell"
The Doctor eyed Twilight as if she were slightly insane, an action which Twilight dimly noted the irony of, considering that usually it was the other way around.
"Then why did you do the spell in the first place?" The Doctor's expression was somewhere between incredulous, and pondering exactly what possessed Twilight to do something that stupid.
Twilight just looked at him matter-of-factly "Because I needed to prove a theory. I was able to do that spell perfectly fine the day I first met you, when I lifted the TARDIS upright, but when inside the TARDIS, it failed spectacularly" She lifted a smart hoof to illustrate her point "Thus, there is a significant difference between interacting with the inside and outside of the TARDIS magically, and in a probability, I should be able to perform a shield spell perfectly on the TARDIS if I am doing so from the outside"
She gave a triumphant smirk. This plan was completely foolproof.
"One problem with that, Sparky" The Doctor said "We're kind of inside a bug, remember"
Oh...that..... Twilight wasn't going to let her plan fail that easily though.
"Won't the TARDIS protect us? Like how we were able to breathe on the moon?" She asked.
The Doctor gave a noncommittal expression "Well.....usually. I suspect most of her energy is invested in protecting herself at this point, which.....although good in the long run......is not exactly adventitious to going outside the TARDIS doors" he paused "You could probably use a shield to protect yourself from dissolving....but breathing might be an issue....are your shields airtight?"
Twilight sat down "Way to go, Doctor. You killed my plan. You just took my plan, my perfect little plan, you just took it in your hooves and squished it. It's dead now"
The Doctor tilted his head quizzically, unsure how to react "....Sorry?"
The purple unicorn continued heedless "I loved that plan" she said "It was so pretty, and lovely, and plausible....and you killed it. You killed it. It's gone now."
"Are you feeling alright?" the Doctor's head was nearly fully sideways now
"Noooo......my head hurts." Twilight mane, already frizzed from the party, was now sticking out at several odd angles "It feels like Rainbow Dash is flying around in there"
If the Doctor tilted his head any further he would probably fall over "I don't get it. How is that painful?"
"Have you seen Rainbow Dash fly?" Twilight's deadpan was hidden by the fact that she was lying sideways on the TARDIS floor with her hooves over her head, but you could hear it in her voice "There isn't a single tree...or building.... in Ponyville she hasn't hurled herself into at great speeds"
"....ouch"
"Yeah" Twilight said "I can't tell you how many times she's crashed into the library. Seriously, I mean, I can see running into it once....but running into something that big, oh, I don't know, thirty seven times seems pretty ridiculous.....Didn't you borrow Magic Theory and Difficult Spells IV last Tuesday to read up on how magic works? "
"How exactly did you get from Rainbow Dash to that?"
"Well Rainbow Dash crashing into the library made me think of the time she crashed into the library right I had re-shelved and knocked everything over, and that made me think of how a book landed on Pinkie Pie's face, and that made me think of the Unicorn's guide to Advanced Magic series, which that book it a part of, which made me think of the rival series to those books...Stardust's Challenging Spell Guide volumes one through five....That made me think of how Lyra needs to return volume four of that collection, and that made be think of how I'm missing volume four of another series....Magic Theory and Difficult Spells IV....And you were the pony who borrowed it. A chapter of that book includes hundreds of adaptions on the average shield spell. I haven't gotten the opportunity to learn all of them yet, but I know that one of them is an airproof version....Wow, my thought process it really lucid right now, I wonder if that has anything to do with the head pain"
The Doctor broke into semi incredulous chuckles "You know, Sparky....you astound me sometimes" He shook his head slowly "To the library, I guess...that's where I put it"
Twilight blinked, ears flicking as she sat up "Library?"
"Yeah...the TARDIS library"
There was a brief shuffling sound as Twilight got to her feet
"The TARDIS....has a library? With books.....about humans?"
"Yes?"
"WHY IN CELESTIA'S NAME DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS!"
"You never asked!" The Doctor said defensively
Twilight gave a small eye roll, then put a hoof briefly to her head as is smarted "Sorry I never thought to ask my time traveling alien friend if he had a library" she said dryly.
The Doctor grinned "And Twilight Snarkle returns once again. Come on, the library is this way"
"C'est Parti" Twilight said, grinning wickedly as she used the "catchphrase" as a small revenge for the Doctor's comment.
The timepony made a face in return, but eventually led the way to the Library door, and pushed it open "Tada!"
"....is it always this....disheveled?"
The Doctor took a look inside the room. There were books strewn everywhere the eye could see. Most were scattered on the floor, and over the various chairs and desks inside of the room, the ones that remained on the shelves were laying higgledy-piggledy on top of each other and falling open. The whole thing combined to make for a giant pile of literary disorder to rival that of Twilight's on cleaning day.
"Oh yeah" the Doctor said "The TARDIS got jostled around a bit....I forgot about that"
"Well......"
"This could be a problem"
Twilight waded into the pile of books and began looking through them, using her magic to lift each one past her face and onto a shelf
"Are you okay to do that? Because you running out of magic at this point would be really inconvenient"
"Yeah!" Twilight breezed "I do this all the time, it's easy. Plus I cut those other two spells off quickly, so even though they gave me an awful headache, they didn't use that much energy.....These books have weird names" she said as they whizzed past her "Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy? The Great Gatsby?"
"....I suppose yours are much better then" he said sarcastically "Hoofhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? The Great Trotsby?"
"Yes actually" Twilight said "I adore Hoofhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It was one of my favorite books when I was younger. The Great Trotsby was excellent too, although I found Daisy Buckhanan annoying....she was just so shallow"
The Doctor blinked, then shook his head "I give up....these pony puns are just.....Daisy Buckhanan? Seriously?"
Twilight ignored the question, continuing to examine and shelf books at breakneck speeds, not to be outdone, the Doctor began sorting through a stack of his own by hoof.
"Physics....Biology.... World History-"
"World history? An entire history, of a completely different world.....in another galaxy?!" Twilight asked, the books around her coming to a halt.
"Yeah! Really not that accurate though, I should kno-"
"GIMME THE GIMME GIMME!"
The book was shot out of his hooves and straight over to Twilight, who squealed like a little filly as she opened it "This is fantastic!" She gushed, having opened it to a random page. She pointed her hoof to a picture of an airplane "This could fly without pegasai to pull it! Amazing! I can't believe.....Is this an over due library book?!"
She had accidentally flipped to the very back of the book and was looking at the library book slip, it's ink faded and edges worn. She checked the back of another one of the books in her telekinetic grip, only to find that it had a library slip in the back as well
"How many overdue library books do you have in here?"
"I have a feeling that if I told you, you would probably hurt me"
Twilight took the history book and gave him a small rap over the head with it.
"Oi!"
"Serves you right for being so disrespectful of library property!" Twilight huffed
"Well I meant to return them eventually!" The Doctor protested "But I can't exactly now that I'm in another universe. Besides, if that history book was at a library back on earth, then you would be unable to gawk at all it's gloriously inaccurate contents"
Twilight gave a small grumble, but made no further reprimands "Mind if I borrow this?" She asked, wiggling the book in her magical grip
"Sure, why not"
With a squee of delight, Twilight tucked the tome in her saddlebag before continuing to look through the massive pile of disarrayed books. The Doctor just shook his head, he doubted he would ever understand that unicorn.
Nearly an hour passed as the two sorted books feverishly, searching for the correct one. They had made a considerable dent in the pile, hopefully they would find the book soon before-
The TARDIS light's flickered
"Oohh...that's probably not good" The Doctor said
The Library was plunged into darkness, ans Twilight gave a squeak of surprise.
"Don't panic." The Doctor said slowly "The TARDIS is just conserving power. There should be light's back towards the control panel, but all the lights on the outer areas of the interior have been shut down to save energy"
"Will it run out of energy?" Twilight asked, fear creeping into her voice.
"Oh, no, you won't have to worry about that" The Doctor said "This is just a safeguard. Again, the TARDIS is highly resilient, entire armies have tried to breach those doors and failed. However, magic is a bit of a wildcard, I don't fully understand it yet, and I don't like it when I don't understand things. These parisprites seem able to digest anything by converting it into magical energy, and I'm not entirely sure how this will affect the TARDIS, so I'm taking all the precautions I can. It seems that she agrees with me, seeing as she's shut off the unneeded power....Is there a flashlight in these saddlebags?"
There was a rustling sound, presumably the Doctor rummaging in search of one. Twilight just rolled her eyes and lit up her horn.
The search continued.
"Aha!" finally came the triumphant cry from the Doctor "Got it!"
Twilight gave a small cheer "Great!"
"Here, let's get to the console room so you can read it better"
As they walked back through the darkened TARDIS corridors, Twilight shifted her eyes side to side nervously, jumping at any noise.
"Something the matter?" The Doctor asked, tapping her shoulder.
The lavender unicorn gave a shriek, leaping nearly a foot in the air before realizing it was only him.
"I'm fine" she said "Just...not fond of the dark"
"You seemed fine in the Canterlot caves"
"That was different" Twilight replied defensively "I had that entire cave's layout memorized, and knew all the exits, plus I could just teleport out anytime I wanted....Here, there are hundreds of corridors and doorways, it would be so easy to get hopelessly lost in the dark in here, I wouldn't even be able to teleport somewhere else...To teleport you need to know both where you are and where you're going....And everywhere you turned you would know that there are more doors behind you, doors that you have no idea what might be hiding behind, all pitch black"
She gave a small shudder
"Don't worry Twilight, it's fine" he chuckled "Not that I blame you for being afraid of the dark...I wouldn't blame anyone for being afraid of the dark, not after I've seen the Vashda Nerada"
"Vashda Nerada"
"The shadows that melt the flesh. They're tiny creatures, microscopic predators, absolutely everywhere, you can tiny swarms of them floating in sunbeams... look like dust specks....In large numbers they can strip the flesh of your bones in milliseconds."
"Doctor..."
The Doctor continued heedless, not hearing her "If they enter the light, they look like shadows cast by nothing, but in the darkness they're impossible to see."
"Doctor."
"They mimic the shadows of their prey to get close....and once you had a second shadow, it was too late."
"Doctor!"
"Other than light, they have no weaknesses, the only thing you can do is ru-"
"Doctor!"
The Doctor looked back to see Twilight standing stock straight, dead still as if rooted to the ground. She was practically hyperventilating, and her eyes were darting about like pin-balls.
"Oh don't worry, Sparky" The Doctor just said cheerfully "They might be everywhere, but they're only dangerous in large swarms, and I'm pretty sure there at any large swarms in the TARDIS....I mean, I suppose it's possible. Not like we would be able to see them very well with only the light of you magic-"
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"
"Oh....sorry"
Twilight huffed and they continued on their way, the purple unicorn even more jumpy than before. When they finally got to the lighted section, she practically flung herself at it, so happy to be in the light again.
As they trotted up to the console, Twilight took the magic book out of her saddlebag and lay it on the table. It was reading time.

Author's Note

Figured I would make up for not posting last weekend by doing another update this one.
Enjoy!

Chapter Six

Chapter six
In which the greatest nerdy-joke-off of all time takes place, and the Doctor is subjected to much humiliation

"Aquatic air-proof shield spell" She read aloud "Allows easy breathing as well as keeping you dry, perfect for....." she paused "underwater sightseeing trips"
Twilight could help but chuckle dryly, an underwater sightseeing trip wasn't exactly what she had in mind...
her eyes quickly flicked over the rest of the page, absorbing the changes she would have to make to the spell until she was confident she had them correct and memorized.
"Alright" she said "I think I've got it"
"Great!" the Doctor said brightly "The sooner we get out of here, the better"
Twilight stepped up to the TARDIS door, gritting her teeth as the full realization of what she was about to do really sank in. She was about to step into a giant pool of acid protected only by her sheild spell, which, if she lost focus or overexerted herself, would burst like a soap bubble.
She pondered briefly what an awful way to die that would be. It was up there on her list of most unpleasant, right up with drowning, being trapped in a small space until she starved to death, and being burned alive. She imagined it would be something like being drowned and burned to death at the same time...
But she had friends who needed her. She would be brave.
The purple unicorn opened the doors with her magic, putting a small shield about the door frame just in case. As she slipped through it, part of the spell engulfed her like a bubble, breaking off from the spell around the door as she emerged from the TARDIS. Using her telekinesis, Twilight turned herself to face the TARDIS, trying not to look at anything else. Then she began to slowly expand the bubble around the blue machine, concentrating hard. This was the delicate part, if she lost her focus now, all her shields could fracture into nothing. Twilight took slow deep breaths as the magical bubble slowly enveloped the TARDIS, trying not to let her thoughts wander. Through the door she could see the Doctor trying to give his best thumbs up sign with hooves and failing awfully at it. Twilight rolled her eyes. Way to help with the whole "no distractions" thing, Doc.
Finally, the TARDIS was completely encased in a glowing magenta bubble. Twilight gave a weak smile, the hard part was done. Reaching out with her mind, she had the shield mold itself with the outside of the blue ship and felt the pressure of maintaining the barrier slowly diminish as it was supported not only by the incredibly strong division between two spaces that the TARDIS wall represented but by the protections that were already in place on the machine as well.
Within minutes, it had absorbed into the very structure so much that Twilight didn't need to maintain it at all, like the permanent shield and protection spells she had in place all over the library. The unicorn blinked, she had intended for the spell to be temporary, but it seemed like the magic had made itself at home. She shrugged, a shield from magical attack would probably come in handy anyways.
Twilight self-levitated back over to the TARDIS door, grinning. The purple unicorn could still feel the magic tingling through her veins. She loved the way powerful spells washed through her, making her feel alive. Maybe that was why she loved magic so much, it was the one thing about herself she could truly be confident in. Twilight embraced the new energy her magic had lent her.
As her hooves met the metal of the floor, she gave a little bow.
"Tada"
The Doctor shot a grin in return from the console.
"So, we getting out of here?" She said, trotting over.
"Patience, dear Sparky" The Doctor chided jokingly, tapping away at a myriad of buttons and stitches "Think of the poor TARDIS. How would you like to be dunked in digestive juices and then told to hurry up?"
"Actually, I think being dunked in digestive juices would be a motive to hurry up"
"Touche`" the brown stallion paused, the TARDIS gave a rumble "Here we are!"
As Twilight slowly pushed open the door she said musingly "Whats stopping the Scarisprites from just eating it again?"
"Oh! That reminds me!" The Doctor pressed a couple of buttons and turned a switch.
"The Hostile Action Displacement System is turned on now" He said brightly "If the Scarisprites try anything now, it will automatically teleport away"
"That would have been convenient earlier" Twilight muttered dryly.
"Isn't everything?" The Doctor responded blithely as he followed her out of the blue box "what are you smirking about?"
"Told you we would get out" The purple unicorn said, just a hint of smugness in the voice "What are you smirking about"
"Your hair" the Timepony replied matter-of-factly.
In the couple of hours since she had departed the library that morning, Twilight's neatly groomed mane had evolved into a frizzy, cow-licked mess, complete with small objects tangled inside like the nest of a bower bird.
The unicorn pulled a pocket mirror from her saddlebag, and flipped it open, eyes widening a fraction as she saw herself. With a quick spell, her hair returned to it's smooth state.
"Hmph" She huffed "At least my mane is usually neat. Your's looks like it might escape into the wilderness to rejoin it's wild brethren at any moment"
She began skirting around the doctor as if his hair were a wild animal, talking in her best impression of the iconic accent of the pegasus crocodile hunter, Steve Irwing.
"And here we have one of the most dangerous and elusive creatures of the ponyville wilds.....When provoked, it can be deadly, striking with unerring accuracy....."
She poked his mane with a hoof, and it immediately sprang back into place with a curious poofing noise.
"It's angry!"
The Doctor gave a snort of laughter as they walked from the field by the Everfree, where the TARDIs had landed, to Ponyville square, where Twilight had decided the best place to set up the spell would be "Very funny." he said wryly "To think you were so uptight when I first met you....I must be rubbing off on you"
"I was not uptight!" Twilight huffed
"Oh yes you were. The first time you made a joke, I wondered if I was hearing things"
The purple unicorn pulled herself up, affronted "I make jokes!" she said "I'll have you know that I know the most nerd jokes of anypony I've met"
"Oh, yes?" the Doctor asked "because I'm pretty sure I know more. How often do you tell chemistry jokes?"
"Periodically." Twilight replied "I even told a chemistry joke the other day..."
"There was no reaction" the Doctor finished "What's the most cheerful part of cell division?"
"The smileyphase. How can you tell when light is happy?"
"It waves" The Doctor answered "Why did the beaker go to college?"
"He wanted to become a graduated cylinder" Twilight said smugly "Never trust an atom...."
"They make up everything. Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar..."
"And doesn't. If you aren't part of the solution..."
"You're part of the precipitate" They were on a roll now "A neutron walks into a bar and orders something, how much does his drink cost"
"No charge. An atom tells his buddy he's lost an electron, to which his friend replies..."
"Are you positive?" The Doctor said with a smirk" Gold walks into a party uninvited..."
"The host then yells, 'Au. Get out!'" Twilight laughed " These are really too easy. Why are helium, curium and barium called the medical elements?"
"Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium. Two cats on a sloped plane, which one slides down first?"
"The one with the lower mew. What's the difference between a cat and a comma?"
"Oohh, a grammar joke, clever" The Doctor said "One has claws at the end of it's paws and the other has a pause at the end of it's clause. Why couldn't the sea sponge go out with the vertebrate?"
"His parents wouldn't allow him to Chordate." Twilight smiled. That was one of her favorites "An electron gets pulled over for speeding, and the cop asks him if he knew how fast he was going, the electron replies..."
"No, but I know where I am" The Doctor completed the joke "Newton, Pascal, and Einstein play a game of hide and seek. Einstein is it, pascal hides, and newton draws a square meter on the ground and stands in it. When Einstein tells Newton he's found him, Newton replies"
"No, You've found Pascal" She told the joke with Einstallion, Neighton, and Ponyscal, but she had picked up the Doctor's humanized speech fairly quickly "Argon walks into a bar and is told to get out because there were no noble gasses allowed"
"Argon doesn't react. There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary..."
"Binary?" The purple unicorn asked, blinking.
"Oh! I forgot, you ponies don't have computers yet" The Doctor said brightly "Guess I win!"
"No fair!" Twilight huffed, before pausing "...Have you noticed that this entire time we've been walking, we haven't seen a single Scarisprite?"
"Now that you mention it....no. It makes sense though. Now that they think that we, the biggest threat to them, are out of the way, they've spread out to go search for food. They're opportunistic feeders, so right now they are probably making use of the most abundant and easy to access food source, the plentiful vegetation of the Everfree. They're still wary of ponies, so unless those ponies are an active threat to them, like we were, they won't bother trying to tangle with them until their other food is either completely depleted, or more likely, their numbers grow so much that there won't be enough room for all of them at their current location, and they will have to expand outward to other places and make use of the food sources there"
Twilight tilted her head in bemusement "Then why were you so worried?"
"Because, if my math is correct, they will outgrow the Everfree in about three hours"
Twilight blanched "Three hours?!"
"But, since we are no longer trapped, and you have the spell, there shouldn't be any reason to panic. There should be time"
"Are you sure?" Twilight said "Three hours seems like an awfully short time to be able to round up all those scarisprites"
"Round up?" the Doctor asked
"The spell only works over a fairly short range. We have to gather them together"
"Oh. Well. That might be a problem"
Twilight's thoughts raced, they needed a plan. They needed some way to lure the Scarisprites together, something that would attract their attention...
"Doctor..." She said slowly "You said that by coming here, the Scarisprites gained some qualities of Parisprites, right?"
"Yes, why?"
"I think we need to get Pinkie Pie" Twilight said
"Pinkie Pie?" The Doctor asked "why? Does she have some giant bug catching machine?"
Actually, that wouldn't surprise Twilight, it was Pinkie after all....But she had something else in mind.
"No" She said slowly "But Pinkie can play ten instruments"
"What."
"You'll see!" Twilight sang, before taking off "To the Library!"
"We're going to have to go back to that party again?" The Doctor said.
"Unfortunately"
The brown pony sighed shaking his head "The things I go through to save the world"

Rainbow Dash flew high above Ponyville, searching for her lost quarry. It was like the two ponies had been swallowed by the Earth or something, then she saw it, just sitting in the middle of a field. A blue box. She flew down lower just in time to see Twilight and Turner emerge from it, laughing.
Dash's magenta eyes narrowed, this was fishy. Very fishy.
She swooped down nearby, watching them talk an make their way in the direction of Ponyville.
Now she had a choice to make, follow them, or investigate the box thingy.
With a flap of her powerful wings, she took off and hovered above them.
They were talking intently about something or the other and Rainbow Dash crept lower, straining to hear....Nerd Jokes? By Celestia's mane, they were telling nerd jokes?!
With a flick of the wing, Rainbow Dash turned around and began flying in the other direction. She was looking at the flipping box. Anything to avoid the incredible amounts of eggheaded-ness radiating from those two.
She landed next to the box, looking it over with narrowed eyes
"What in Celestia is a Police?" She said, tilting her head.
Whatever was going on with those two, she didn't like it.

"Is climbing through a window really necessary?" Twilight asked as she struggled for a hoofhold to pull herself up onto the library's lower balcony
"Do you want to get accosted by Rarity's well meaning, but completely delusional sentiments again?" The Doctor asked from above, he had already made it up to the balcony and reached down to give the athletically inept Twilight a hand
"Good point" Twilight said as she hauled herself up.
They crept into the Library through the balcony's doors, emerging into Twilight's room.
From downstairs they could hear pony's voices talking and laughing, including Rarity's distinctive bell-like one.
"We need disguises" Twilight said quickly, she threw open her closet and began looking through her things, eventually pulling out a tulle covered magenta saddle that her grandmother had gotten her a few years ago, and hated with a passion "Aha! Doctor, wear this"
The Doctor looked confused, holding the frilly saddle out as if it were radioactive "But...this is for a girl"
"Exactly" Twilight said, lighting her horn, and forming the Doctor's mane into a style similar to her own "With the saddle covering your cutie mark, everypony will just think you're some random mare"
"I- I didn't agree to this!" The Doctor spluttered at Twilight levitated the garish saddle onto him.
"Oh, and you'll probably want to change your voice, it's pretty distinctive"
"No, I don't want to-" He trailed off as Twilight levitated a mirror in front of him "Dear goodness, I look like a girl."
Twilight gave a snort as she attempted to stifle her laughter.
The Doctor slumped down, ears flattening "Go ahead. Laugh."
The unicorn fell over, cackling with mirth
"Should I call you..." A snort of laughter escaped her "The Nurse now?"
After another bout of giggles she finally got up, wiping her eyes and wheezing.
"Are you done?" The Doctor asked.
That question, coupled with the Doctor's expression, was enough to make Twilight crack up once more. After her snickers subsided, the Doctor asked "And how are you going to disguise yourself?"
"Easy" Twilight said she pulled her hair up into a tight bun at the top of her head, carefully hiding the purple and pink steaks in her mane, before changing into a dark blue saddle that hid her cutie mark, and setting a smart pair of glasses on her nose.
She paused to look in the mirror, before deeming the cover fit.
"Alright" She said "Time to crash a party"

Poor, poor, Doctor

Author's Note

I am so sorry for how late this is. I hope the wait was worth it though, because I'm really proud of this chapter ^^

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven
In which the Doctor is flirted with by a stallion and Twilight is broken

As they stepped down into the party, Twilight instinctively leaned back with an uncomfortable expression as she was greeted by a wall of ponies. Twilight was fine with parties if it was just her and her close friends, but parties like this, where there were ponies crowded everywhere in a giant thronging mass, and the music was turned up so loud it shook your hooves, and everyone's voices was shouting all at once....It took all Twilight had not to turn tail and flee back into her bedroom. She didn't like crowds, she really didn't like crowds, and.....Sweet Celestia somepony was touching her books. Someone had taken a book off it's shelf and was messing around with it!
She stalked over to the pony and snatched the book out of his hand with her magic "Just who do you think you are, disrespecting this library's property?" She snapped.
The stallion backed off, looking thoroughly cowed.
Twilight watched with a dirty glare straight from the depth of Tartarus as he scurried away.
"Remind me never to mess with your books" The Doctor quipped from beside her.
Twilight chose to judiciously ignore that comment, and looked around the party with distaste.
"Alright" She said "We'll split up so we can cover the ground faster. If one of us finds Pinkie, we will signal each other by...."
Her lavender eyes flicked around, before coming to rest of a light switch
"Turning the lights on and off twice"
The Doctor nodded and gave a mock salute, before disappearing into the mass of ponies, muttering under his breath "Ten instruments?" and shaking his head
Twilight began to weave through the crowd as well, looking for the source of the loud electronic music that was the epicenter of the party. If Pinkie would be anywhere, it would be there.
Soon she had shoulder-checked through a group of ponies to find the blue maned DJ, Vinyl Scratch, sitting at a turn table horn lit as she turned the volume even higher.
This close to the speakers, the vibrations were so strong they made Twilight's teeth rattle.
"VINYL!" she shouted, trying to attract the musicians attention over the wubs. Twilight had known Vinyl nearly since she had come to Ponyville, since she had been a fillyhood friend of Pinkie Pie
"YEAH?" the white unicorn shouted back, looking at the bookworm. Or at least Twilight thought she was looking at her, it was almost impossible to tell with those sunglasses.
"Have you seen Pinkie Pie?" Twilight mouthed, giving up at trying to project her voice over the rumbling bass.
Vinyl pointed a hoof over by the kitchen, and Twilight took off, mouthing words of thanks.

Meanwhile, the Doctor was also asking around.
"Excuse me sir?" He asked a dark blue pegasus, putting on a high falsetto voice "Have you seen Pinkie Pie?"
The blue pegasus look up from his cider and gave the Doctor a lopsided smile
"No, but that's alright....You're the only mare I need to see"
".....what."
"No need to be shy sweetheart, I don't bite...Not unless you want me to" the pegasus flipped his light blue mane out of his eyes and grinned.
"Ohhhh, no. No thank you" The Doctor began to back up "I really need to find Pinkie-"
"Oh, come on, baby. Don't leave so quickly"
"Star Hunter!" A familiar airy voice snapped "Stop harassing that poor mare....That's the third time today! Go on! Get!"
The pegasus, Star Hunter, scurried away sharpish as Rarity stepped over to the Doctor, flouncing her mane.
"I'm so sorry about that, Darling" The white unicorn apologized breezily "Star Hunter is a terrible flirt, especially after a mug of cider...Have we met before?"
Her sapphire eyes narrowed as she looked over the disguised Doctor over appraisingly, eyeing the pink saddle with distaste.
"No, I don't think so" The Doctor said.
"Well, I insist you let me give you a makeover! That saddle is atrocious...No offense intended mind. I think a nice cobalt color would suit you better, it would bring out your eyes. They're really quite lovely, very striking. Here, why don't you come over to the mirror here, we'll get that unfortunate saddle off you and I can fix up your mane as well"
"No thank you, I'm fine" The Doctor said hurriedly, he knew from Twilight that Rarity was highly observant, and if she had found him familiar before, as soon as she saw his cutie mark she would surely put two and two together. That would be a very awkward situation to explain "I'm extremely attached to this saddle. It was my grandmother's"
"Well that's probably why it's a bit old fashioned" Rarity said, not to be dissuaded
"She's gone now" the Doctor added
"Oh....Well.... Never mind" Rarity said, finally backing off
"Thank you, I-"
"I'll just do your hair then" The white unicorn forcibly dragged the Doctor over to Twilight's guest bathroom and began pulling all sorts of beauty products from various drawers. The Doctor gave a long-suffering sigh. He hoped Twilight was having better luck.

Twilight winced, if the main room of the library had been crowded, the kitchen was ten times worse. There were an assortment of delectable snacks sitting on every available counter top surface, and just as many hungry hooves reaching out to pick and choose through the selection. Twilight herself even picked up a small brownie despite her better sense telling her that finding Pinkie was more important than all the amazing food. She rationalized that the chocolate would help her de-stress a little.
As she wove and dodged though the living wall of ponies, she was briefly distracted and she bumped a hoof into a table and smacked straight into an orange earth pony with a stetson stubbornly planted on her head despite the fact they were indoors.
"Tarnation!" The pony yelped as she was briefly knocked of balance. The drink she was holding nearly spilled, but the earth pony deftly regained her equilibrium, righting the cup and and pushing her hat back into it's proper position on her head. Twilight was struck briefly with a pang of jealousy at the grace earth ponies possessed on the ground, she didn't think she had ever seen one trip over their own hooves like she often did.
"I am so sorry!" She apologized.
"It's alright, Sugarcube" Applejack said smoothly "No harm done"
"Would you happen to know where Pinkie Pie is?" Twilight asked.
"Can't say I do" the orange earth pony replied "She passed by not ten minutes ago but I have no idea where she went off too...some party, huh?"
"Yeah" Twilight replied, not wanting to be sidetracked, but also not wanting to be rude
"I feel a bit sorry for Twilight though" Applejack said conversationally "She seemed pretty dead set in insisting that her and that stallion, Turner, were just friends...you know Rarity though. I personally have never been one for getting all up in somepony else business, but that unicorn is always throwing herself at that sorta thing. She's still one 'a my best friends of course, I just think she needs to lay off the drama sometimes"
That was AJ for you, frank and down to earth. Though she was stubborn, and sometimes a bit narrow-minded, she was always the one Twilight trusted for advice.
"Well" Twilight said "I need to keep looking for Pinkie, but thank you"
"Anytime, Twi" Applejack said with a wink, before trotting off into the crowd.
It took the purple unicorn a moment to realize that AJ had seen through her disguise the whole time, and she couldn't help but chuckle. Applejack might not have Rarity's extreme attention to detail, or Pinkie's impossible ability to recognize anyone past even the best disguise or years since last seeing them, but she knew her friends.
She ducked back into the crowd, searching for Pinkie.

"Tada! It looks fabulous, Darling!" a mirror was levitated in front of the Doctor.
Now the ruler-straight bangs that Twilight had styled his mane in were swept to the side,framing the right side of his face, and the rest of his hair hung in bouncy waves. If he had looked like a girl before, it was now ten times worse.
"It look's....Great" He lied, forcing a smile. If Twilight were there, she would have been laughing her flank off.
"That's wonderful!" Rarity gushed, then sighed "You haven't seen Twilight Sparkle at the party, have you? She sort of disappeared early on"
"No. Can't say I have"
Rarity nodded "Didn't think so.... but it was worth a shot. I think she slipped out while I wasn't watching...I just don't get it, why would she would be so unhappy with this? Doesn't she want me to be happy for her? Why would she keep lying to me?"
"Have you ever thought that maybe she was telling the truth? Like you said, what reason would she have for lying?"
Rarity paused, the hair brush she had been running through her mane pausing and hovering within her telekinesis. "Oh...Oh, my...and by continuing to push the issue I was just..."
"Further mortifying her? Probably."
"I've got to go find her!" Rarity said hurriedly, returning all the beautification items to their drawers, exiting the bathroom door and making to exit the library.
The Doctor followed behind "You should probably look around the library first" he said in an attempt at detering her. The library was probably the safest place for them to be considering all the protection wards the paranoid Twilight had put over it. "In case she's still here"
"Good idea!" Rarity chirped, the Doctor gave a relieved sigh. It would have been highly unfortunate for the unicorn to bump into a scarisprite while looking for Twilight.
He went back to the search, eyes roving for a hint of the bubblegum pink fur and mane.
"Pinkie Pie!" He called "Hello? Pinkie?"
"Hi Doctor!"
"Gah!" The brown stallion leaped almost a foot into the air "Pinkie!"
"Yup!" The magenta pony said brightly
"Twilight and I were looking everywhere for you!" The Doctor said.
"Well why didn't you call sooner?" Pinkie Pie giggled, giving a small snort at the end "You look like a mare!"
The Doctor's ears folded back in annoyance "I am well aware of that Pinkie. Now let's go grab Twilight"
Pinkie Pie saluted and began to bounce off, before the Doctor grabbed a hold of her tail.
"Hold on Pinki- Oof!" He lost his grip and smacked into the floor of the library "We're supposed to turn the lights on and off again!"
"Lights Shmights!" Pinkie chirruped, trotting into the crowd "I can find Twi faster that she'll be able to make her way over to us!"
The Doctor shrugged, he couldn't really argue with that logic. Rubbing his now sore back, he followed after her.

Twilight huffed angrily. All this searching and she still hadn't seen a trace of Pinkie Pie! She began looking though the smaller rooms branching off from the main ones, even checking inside closets.
"Eep!" A small voice cried as she threw open a door to the left wing of her library, inside she saw Fluttershy consoling a thoroughly shell-shocked Spike.
"Oh!" She said softly "You startled me..."
Spike simply whimpered, and the yellow pegasus, hearing the noise, looked back to him.
"It's okay Spike...Just because they're dating doesn't mean anything will change....Well I guess a couple of things will change, I mean, they might kiss now or-"
"K-Kiss?" Spike said, eyes contracting into pinpricks "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Twilight facehoofed "I think I'll just go now" she said slowly, backing out of the room and shutting the door behind her and turned around.
"HI TWILIGHT!" a voice screamed into her ear
The purple unicorn jumped backwards, hooves pinwheeling, while making a noise similar to that of a sqeaky toy being squished by a ton of bricks, before tripping and ending up flat on her back on the floor.
Pinkie Pie just laughed "Found you!"
Behind her, the Doctor waved a hoof "Hey Sparky"
Twilight made some more incoherent squeaks.
"Oh, dear..." The Doctor said "I think you broke her Pinkie"
Pinkie Pie frowned, looking at her purple friend "Twilight? Are you broken?"
The unicorn rose, wheezing "Not unless you count getting the wind knocked out of you as broken"
"Oh....Yay!"
Twilight rolled her eyes, then chuckled. Pinkie Pie was..well...Pinkie Pie. Speaking of which...
"Hey Pinkie, you still got that tuba?"
In response, the pony reached into her fluffy mane and pulled the large, shining brass instrument out "Do I ever not have my tuba?"
The Doctor meanwhile, looked like he was having a mental short circuit "I...but...She...How....Tuba?....Whaaaaaaa? That...That's not.....but..."
Twilight giggled "You know, you always surprise me so much that sometimes I forget that you can be surprised too"
The Doctor pulled himself up, grinning "Just because I know a lot already doesn't mean I can't still learn something new every day"
Twilight laughed and shook her head. It was just another part of the paradox of the Doctor. He was the stallion who drove her half out of her mind with his antics, but had quickly become one of her best friends. He was the stallion that challenged everything she had always known and accepted about the world, while at the same time possessing the same joy in life and love for learning that she held so close to her heart. The stallion who had showed her the brightness of the stars, as well as the ever-consuming darkness that twisted through the universe as well. The stallion who had laughed like a foal with her as she spun around in zero gravity outside the TARDIS doors, and yet was so sad, so old.
She smirked at him, quipping snarkily "Like learning how to make your hair that fabulous?"
The Doctor put his hooves to his girly hairdo, pouting "I got ambushed by Rarity, alright? I had no choice in the matter"
Both Pinkie and Twilight began to laugh hysterically.
"Can you just make it normal again?" He asked
"What's the magic word?" Twilight cooed
"Please."
The purple unicorn lit her horn, and the Doctor's hair returned to it's usual state with a *Foomph*
"C'mon, lets go" There was a crack, the smell of ozone, and the trio were gone.

Author's Note

Tsundere Twilight is best Twilight :3

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight
In which Big Mac is revealed to be a terrible poet and Twilight is a goody two shoes

“You know” The Doctor said as appeared outside of the library, running his hooves over his mane to make sure everything was in order “When I figure out how to use the Sonic Screwdriver to manipulate magic, you are going to be in for in for it, Missy”
Twilight just laughed "I can't take your threats seriously when you are wearing that saddle"
"I'm wearing that wha-" The Doctor began, before noticing the garish pink saddle still on his back "...oh"
A cloud of Twilight's magenta magic quickly lifted it up, folded it, and stuffed it in her saddlebag. Then the purple unicorn turned to the library door and closed her eyes, horn glowing. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes again
"Just a simple distracter spell" she explained "Anyone who tries to exit the library will remember some other task they need to do and be distracted from leaving"
"Ooh!" Pinkie giggled, wearing her tuba around her "That sounds like fun!"
As they trotted away from the library, Twilight was busy filling in Pinkie on the situation at hoof
"So" she concluded "We need you to lure the Scarisprites with your music"
"Okey Dokey Loki!" Pinkie said happily
"Do you need other instruments besides the tuba?" Twilight asked
Her bubblegum pink friend nodded happily "On the rock farm, we all had to learn how to play the Parisprite Polka because we would get huge swarms of them coming to eat our rocks. The best instrument combo is a tuba, a harmonica, cymbals, an accordion and a banjo...ooh! Also, maraca's help if you can find them, but you don't superdy duperdy need them. The tuba is the most important part though. You can't do it without a tuba..."
As Pinkie babbled on, Twilight sighed. Now they had to find instruments.
"Well I guess we'll start at-"
"Hey there, Twilight! Watcha doin'?" chirped a high voice with a southern accent.
The purple unicorn squeaked and fell over backwards, glowering as the Doctor and Pinkie burst into laughter.
"Again?!" She yelled, as the yellow filly and her two friends looked at her quizzically. Huffily, she picked herself up.
"Excuse me Miss Twilight..." Sweetie Belle said "But what are you doing?"
"Uhhhhh....." Twilight's mind drew a blank....Tell three excitable fillies about giant bug monsters? Definitely not....but what to tell them? Luckily, the Doctor stepped in to save her.
"We're gathering instruments for a festival. Top secret, orders straight from Celestia" he paused, leaning in conspiratorially "You three can keep a secret... can't you?"
"Well...." Scootaloo began, but Applebloom quickly shoved a hoof in the orange pegasus's mouth.
"Ah' course we can Mister Turner" She said hurriedly, Sweetie Belle nodding eagerly beside her.
"Wonderful!" the Doctor said brightly, clapping his front hooves together "Because I have a very important job for you...Would you be willing to help us gather the musical items we need"
The three fillies exchanged glances, Scootaloo shook her head almost imperceptibly
"Ummm....Well..." Sweetie Belle said slowly "That sounds really fun and all, but we need to go....uh....walk Opalescence."
"Oh, no" Twilight said, smiling "That's fine...too bad though. We could have really used you help on this, super special, top secret, ultra important project...who knows...you might have even been able to get you cutie marks, but it's fine, really. We can do it ourselves"
"Well...I guess Opalescence can wait" Scootaloo said slowly, still not wholly convinced, but a bit more willing.
"Oh, no, it's fine" the Doctor said "We wouldn't want to trouble you girls"
"We'll just find some other fillies to help us out" Twilight added "Maybe Diamond Tiara and her friend...I heard they're very helpful"
Three sets of eyes widened in panic.
"Please? It really isn't too much trouble, honest! " Sweetie Belle said quickly
The brown stallion pretended to think about it "No, no...We wouldn't want to be a bother"
"PLEASE!" The three fillies threw themselves at his front hooves, looking up at him with eyes so large and heart rending that they could have turned even the most stoic royal guard into a pile of sobbing mush.
"Oh alright" the Doctor said, exchanging a small victorious smile with Pinkie and Twilight "I guess so..."
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS-oof!"
Applebloom elbowed Scootaloo mid cry "It's top secret, feather-brain!"
"Well sorry...." the orange pegasus huffed angrily.
The Doctor looked over to Twilight "I believe that organization of assets is your forte, is it not?"
The purple unicorn nodded "Listen up!" She said "We already have a Tuba, so we need a harmonica, cymbals, a banjo and an accordion, alright? We'll split into teams to find them. Sweetie, go with the Doct-I mean...Turner and get the cymbols. Applebloom, you go with Pinkie to get the accordion, and Scootaloo, you'll be with me getting the harmonica and banjo"
"Awww...We can't stay together?" Applebloom said sadly. She, Sweetie and Scootaloo all scooted closer together, eyes wide and pleading. Behind them, Pinkie also scooched in, putting her hooves around the three fillies and giving Twilight the puppy eyes as well.
"Fine" Twilight caved, left ear twitching in annoyance "We'll all go find the instruments together. It'll go faster with more eyes, anyways"
A chorus of happy exclamations rose up from the gang of three half-grown fillies and one full-grown mare, creating a fallout of such uncontrollable childish enthusiasm that, if tasked with containing it, even Cheerilee might have cut her losses and thrown in the towel. Twilight and the Doctor exchanged glances.
"So what are we waiting for?" Pinkie bubbled "LETS GO FIND OURSELVES SOME INSTRUMENTS!"
She bounded off into Ponyville, the three fillies racing after her, giggling madly.
"Nice one about the super special, top secret, ultra important project" The Doctor commented as they followed after.
"Me? You were the one who came up with the whole idea...How in Tartarus are you so good at that?"
"Practice. Years and years of it" the Doctor replied, a slightly melancholy expression on his face
Twilight blinked, unsure how to reply "C'mon" She finally said "Let's catch up with Pinkie"
They trotted up to see the pink pony walking into the front gates of Sweet Apple Acres, the CMC trailing behind her like exuberant ducklings.
"Sweet apple acres?" Twilight asked, quirking her head to the side slightly.
"Yup!" Chirped Applebloom "Big Mac has a banjo!"
"Alright then, this shouldn't be too hard" Twilight said optimistically.
"Well..." Applebloom said slowly "None of us exactly know where it is after the one time we tried to be the cutie mark crusaders country western band...you know, with Scoot as the lead singer, me on the banjo and Sweetie on the percussion?"
Twilight tried to hide her wince as she imagined what their "music" had sounded like
"But anyhoof, Big Mac found out and told us off, saying that nopony was supposed to play that banjo....then I asked why I had heard him playing it and singing a song about some mare the other day then. He got real embarrassed after that, but long story short he took the banjo away and we've never seen it again. It's got to be around the farm somewhere, but I have no idea where."
The butter yellow filly smiled sweetly up at Twilight, who facehoofed so hard that over in Canterlot castle Princess Celestia herself still swears to this day that she heard a tiny noise, like the sound of somepony's patience imploding.
The purple unicorn opened her mouth, presumably to shout one or more expletives very loudly, but was cut off by the jubilant cry of "Found it!" from Pinkie Pie.
"You...you what?" Twilight sputtered
"I found it" Pinkie beamed, shoving a banjo, along with several scrawl covered papers, over to Twilight "These were with the banjo too, so I brought them along just in case"
"I....What...How?"
The pink party pony just giggled, and Twilight gave up, taking a look at the papers. To her chagrin, they were all badly written love songs, and Twilight let them fall from her magical telekinesis, face red.
The Doctor looked at her quizzically, eyes flicking to the papers. Twilight just shook her head fractionally, mouthing "you don't want to know."
Scootaloo, seeing this, immediately snatched the papers up and skimmed eagerly across the page before giving a little shriek of disgust and flinging them away as if they were radioactive
"Eww! Love poems?! Gross!"
"Oohhh!" Sweetie Belle chirped "Let me see!"
She picked up one of the papers, reading it and hugging it to her chest.
"How romantic!"
Twilight couldn't help but snort at that. Apparently Rarity was rubbing off on her little sibling.
"Hey! That's mah brother's love poems you're talkin' about!" Applebloom said, grabbing the mediocre declaration of love from her unicorn friend and looking at herself "Sweetie pootie pie? That's even worse that shmoopy doo!"
"Hey!" Sweetie squeaked "Give it back!"
She tried to take the paper back, but only ended up elbowing Scootalooo in the nose, and soon the three fillies were in a knock-down drag-out brawl, yanking ears and elbowing ribs and pulling tails.
Meanwhile, the Doctor's expression twisted into something that could only be described as incredulous disgust "....Sweetie Pootie Pie?....I....I don't even..."
"Told you you didn't want to know" Twilight muttered. She stomped a front hoof on the ground, and the three arguing fillies looked up with a guilty expression. Scootaloo had Sweetie Belle's ear in her teeth and hastily spat it out, giving a nervous laugh.
Twilight rolled her eyes "Alright girls!" She said brusquely "One instrument down, three to go!"
The gang of six exited Sweet Apple Acres with banjo in tow,following Pinkie Pie's lead. Twilight wasn't sure that this was the best idea, but Pinkie seemed to know where she was headed, so she decided to let it go.
"So where are we headed next?" the Doctor asked the vivacious magenta pony bouncing ahead of him
"The elementary school has a bunch of old instruments they let the kids use!" Pinkie said happily "They probably have a Harmonica and Cymbals!"
"But it's a Sunday" Twilight said "The school is closed"
Pinkie tilted her head to the side, confused "What does that have to do with anything? It was a Sunday when the parisprites infested Ponyville too."
"Breaking into a school...." Twilight said slowly "We're breaking into a school. Of course we are. I don't even know what I expected...."
"Oh come on!" The Doctor said "It's not that bad. We'll be returning them after all."
"But still!" Twilight said
"Oh, I'm sure you've done something more rebellious than breaking into a school" The Doctor scoffed
".....I don't think so..."
"Come on, what's the most rebellious thing you've ever done"
"Well......" Twilight said "Once I read a book when I was supposed to be doing a really important project?"
The Doctor facehoofed.
The purple unicorn huffed "And there was one time I snuck into the Canterlot Archives at four in the morning to get a time spell"
"See! Now we're getting somewhere"
.....but then a guard recognized me and let me in. Apparently as Celestia's prodigee I get twenty four hour library access...."
"Annnnd you ruined it."
"That would have really helped if I had known that in school too! I could have gotten so far ahead in my homework....I probably could have gotten my term essay in at least a week before the deadline"
The Doctor facehoofed again.
"What?" Twilight bristled, indignant.
"Well don't you think you should maybe lighten up a bit more?" The Doctor hinted "I mean...everybody has to break some rules at least once in their lives"
Twilight sniffed "I think I'm light enough thank you very much."
"Really?" The Doctor chuckled "Because I'm pretty sure you couldn't even handle me poking a little fun at Princess Celestia"
"Could too."
"Oh yes?" The Doctor said "You're fine with me taking a few jabs at Princess Sunbutt? Alrighty then"
"Don't you call her that!" Twilight snapped, before clapping her hooves over her mouth and blushing "Point taken..." She mumbled.
The Doctor chuckled "Just think of it as a learning experience, Sparky. You like learning don't you?"
Twilight nodded
"Well, to save Ponyville, you're going to learn how to break and enter. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to find you a book on it. Everything You've Ever Wanted to Know But Were Afraid To Ask About Breaking Into Buildings" He said, referencing her favorite 'how to' book series.
Twilight gave a little giggle "Alright then Doctor, let's break into a school"

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine
In which the Doctor is shoved through a window and Pinkie Pie learns about doorbells

"Scootaloo? Do you think you could fit through a window?"
The doctor made a little square with his hooves, squinting through it with one eye first at the little orange pegasus, and then at the tiny window in the back of the schoolhouse that was slightly open.
"Wait" Scootaloo said "So we're sneaking into the schoolhouse?"
The Doctor nodded distractedly, looking for other ways to enter the building. Unfortunately the locking mechanism on the door appeared to be wooden, so they couldn't just waltz in through the front door. Pinkie Pie was still in the front attempting to open it, but since time was of the essence, they were attempting to utilize a faster way to enter.
Sweetie Belle's eyebrows furrowed "Isn't that.....Illegal?" her voice raised into a piercing squeak on the last work.
"Oh of course not" the Doctor replied, standing on the tips of his hind hooves and attempting to force open the window.
"Cool!" Scootaloo said "Does that mean we can do this anytime we want?"
The Doctor snapped back into focus "What? No! No breaking into buildings. No. Bad Scootaloo"
"Then why are you doing it?" Applebloom asked.
"Because I have Super Secret Special Sun Sovereign School Scrounging Sanctions okay?! No more questions" The Doctor finally opened the window and he quickly picked up Scootaloo and pushed her through it "In you go!"
There was a large thud, and the Doctor winced.
"Why didn't she just fly?" he muttered to Twilight "That sounded painful"
Twilight facehoofed "She can't fly"
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" realization dawned, and the Doctor leaned over to the window "Sorry!"
"No problem..." squeaked Scootaloo's voice from inside "Just got the...heh...wind knocked out of me"
"Oops..." The Doctor muttered quietly "So Scootaloo, can you open the door from the inside?"
"Uhhh..." There was some shuffling, and then a rattling "No"
The Doctor seemed to draw a blank "Are you sure?"
Twilight rolled her eyes "Just go in after her, Doctor. I'm pretty sure you could squeeze through the window, after all, you're pretty skinny from all that running"
"Oh, no. No. You've already put me in a dress today, I am not trying to fit through that window. Besides, Scootaloo can handle herself, she can just get the instruments"
"Do you think I'm really going to let an irresponsible filly wander around a schoolhouse without any adult supervision?"
The Doctor looked down for a moment, deep in thought, before saying hopefully "Yes?"
"Doctor..."
"Why can't Pinkie go in the window?" the Doctor grumbled.
"Think about it" Twilight deadpanned "I want to get the instruments, I do not want Pinkie and Scootaloo to destroy the schoolhouse"
"But it would be so easy for her to squeeze through a tiny window she always seems to be defying the physical limits of the body..." The Doctor began to trail off
".....and physics....and the universe.... I mean she pulled a tuba from her hair! And the other day I'm pretty sure she grew a third foreleg.... She also talks to things that aren't there- I'm kind of unsure if I should be scared of her or not"
Twilight raised an eyebrow, and the Doctor slumped.
"Fine. I'll go through the bloody window."
The Doctor stood up on his hind legs and began to clamber through the aperture, making it a good way through before reaching some difficulty.
"I think I'm stuck" he finally mumbled in defeat.
"Oh come on" Twilight tutted "Just suck in your stomach"
"What do you think I'm doing already?"
Rolling her eyes, Twilight focused her magic and used it to shove her earth pony friend fully through the window. Followed swiftly by a heavy thump and a curse.
She grinned "See? There we are. Easy as pie"
Now inside the school, the Doctor dragged himself to his hooves, wincing. From a little ways off, Scootaloo was trying to hold in a laugh.
"So" the Doctor said "Do you have any idea where the music supplies are kept?"
Scootaloo nodded "Last I saw they were in that storage closet over there"
"Brilliant!" the Doctor trotted over to the closet and began looking through the myriad of supplies inside.
"So you're a Doctor?" the little orange pegasus chirped curiously.
The Doctor blinked "What?"
"Well that's what Twilight keeps calling you" Scootaloo explained.
Shaking his head, the Doctor gave a soft chuckle. He would have to remember to inform his unicorn friend that it was no use having a fake name if she continued addressing him by the old one.
"Well yes, in a sense" he replied.
"Then why is your cutie mark a clock?" Scootaloo asked
"I like to think it's a metaphor, I give people-er...Ponies....more time" The Doctor explained, pulling out a harmonica from a drawer triumphantly.
The little orange pegasus scuffed a hoof on the floor awkwardly "Then..." She said slowly "Do you think you might be able to fix my wings? So I can fly? All the other Doctors say there's nothing we can do....but maybe-maybe you could..."
The Doctor's shoulders slumped as he gave a long, sad sigh, expression pained "I'm sorry Scoot. I can't help you, not with that."
"It's okay..." Scootaloo said voice breaking "I just had to ask.... I had to make sure. I just want to be just like Rainbow Dash, be just as fast as she is, just as brave....All my pegasus friends can fly! B-but they all say that I won't be able to fly for years- If I'm ever able to at all..."
"Rainbow Dash? I know her"
"You do?" the orange filly perked up "She's amazing isn't she? I've been working on a new stunt I can show her! Maybe then she'll take me under her wing just like a big sister!"
"You don't have any siblings?" the Doctor asked, still digging through the closet in search of cymbals. That was odd, of all the ponies he'd met, he had hardly ever seen any only children"
"I have sister" Scootaloo said, expression darkening "But she left me and my parents to go to Cloudsdale"
The Doctor tilted his head to the side "And your family didn't move there with her?"
"No. My parents think it's too dangerous considering I can't fly and couldn't save myself if I ever fell" Scoot sniffed "She could have stayed on the ground with us, but instead she left. She just left!"
Finally digging out the pair of cymbals, the Doctor looked at Scootaloo sadly "I'm so sorry" he said finally.
"No, it's fine" Scootaloo said, getting up and wiping her face almost angrily "I'm fine. Tough ponies don't cry. Rainbow Dash wouldn't cry. I- I'm fine."
"Come on" the Doctor said putting the cymbals and harmonica in his saddlebags "Let's see if Pinkie has unlocked the door yet"
Meanwhile, Twilight, Pinkie, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom crouched by the schoolhouse doors.
"Almost got it! " Pinkie said cheerfully as Twilight carefully maneuvered a bobby pin in the lock, biting her lip in concentration. She had her ear pressed against the doorknob and was grinning in her usual manner "Just a little to the left..."
Click!
"There we are!" Pinkie chirped
"How do you even do that?" Twilight said incredulously.
The bubblegum pink pony shrugged.
"Yeah...thought so" Twilight rolled her eyes "Now lets go find the Doctor and Scootaloo"
Standing up, she gave the door a push, only to have it smack against something on the other side of it. There was a yelp of second later, the Doctor poked his head through the doorway, clutching his nose and wearing an annoyed expression.
"Gee, Sparky...shoving me through a window and then attacking me with a door?" He grumbled, voice slightly muffled from his hoof pressed against his injured nose "What do you have a death wish for me?"
"Heh...Sorry" Twilight gave the Doctor's head a quick pat, wearing an apologetic smile.
"Well, I got the harmonica and cymbals at least" the Doctor said, getting up and moving from the doorway, behind him followed Scootaloo, who bounded over to her friends. "Now we just need that accordion"
Twilight sighed "Where the heck are we going to find an accordion?"
"Oh, that's easy" Pinkie chirped "Vinyl has one"
"Vinyl?" Twilight "As in....Vinyl Scratch?"
"Well yeah! What other Vinyl would I be talking about silly filly?"
"It's just that....Vinyl doesn't seem like the accordion type." Twilight replied slowly "I mean, she likes dubstep and....oh never mind. I shouldn't even be surprised anymore...... I'm guessing we have to go back to the party?" Twilight's ears drooped.
Pinkie shook her head "Nah! Me and Vinyl are best buddies, she won't mind if we borrow it"
"But she won't be in her house" Twilight said.
"And....?" Pinkie asked, obviously not getting the point.
The purple unicorn facehoofed "Don't tell me we're sneaking into her house to borrow her accordi-" She trailed off as she saw Pinkie and the CMC already trotting off ".....and we are, aren't we?"
"Well, come along Sparky!" The Doctor said "No time to waste!"
"I bet there would be a lot more legal ways to get an accordion" Twilight grumbled
"Pshhh" the Doctor snorted "Legal. Where's the fun in that?"
"Not getting arrested is pretty fun" the purple unicorn rebuffed dryly.
"Ohoho. You've never been arrested then. It can be quite the party. You should try it sometime"
Twilight rolled her eyes "I'll take your word for it, thanks"
Soon they were outside of Vinyl Scratch's house, and Pinkie was already looking at the door.
The Doctor trotted over and peered at the knob "Brilliant!" he said cheerfully "This is a metal locking mechanism, so I can just use my sonic screwdriver to unlock it!"
He pulled out the tool from his saddlebags, and moments later, there was a whirr and then the click of an opening lock
"Don't try that at home, kids" He said casually to the Cutie Mark Crusaders
"Woah" Applebloom said "How'd ya do that?"
"Science." the Doctor said, reaching to open the door.
They all walked slowly into the house one by one, lead by Twilight.
As they made their way further into the house, the purple unicorn stopped and held a hoof out "Careful guys" she said "There are some stairs- Eek!"
She gave a squeak as the Doctor bumped into her from behind and they were both sent toppling down the stairs into what must have been the basement, making considerable noise and finally landing in a heap at the bottom.
"Oops..." the Doctor said slowly.
The room they were in appeared to have been converted into a studio, with musical equipment everywhere. It was a strange mash-up of both electronic speakers and turntables, as well as several classical instruments.
There was a clattering of hooves, and a grey earth pony wearing a pink bow tie emerged from around a corner, brandishing a cello bow threateningly.
"Stay back!" She shouted, cultured accent strained "I have a bow and I am not afraid to use it!"
"I can explain? Also, nice bow tie. Bow ties are cool" the Doctor began, before being interrupted by an exuberant pink earth pony.
"Hi, Octavia!" Pinkie greeted cheerily, hopping down the last two stairs and wrapping the grey mare in a hug "Nice to see you!"
"Oh! Er...Hello, Pinkie" Octavia responded uncomfortably, trying to extricate herself from the surprise hug "It's certainly a... surprise...to see you."
"I know, right?! Don't you love surprises?" Pinkie said, bouncing up and down happily.
Octavia's face dropped into a deadpan as she realized that the pink pony was completely missing her point "You might have rung the doorbell, you know" she said dryly. Why did Vinyl have to have the most eccentric friends?
"Do you think Scratch would be okay if we borrowed her accordian?" Pinkie asked.
Octavia sighed "Sure."
Pinkie grinned, making a squeeing sound not unlike a rubber dog toy, then bounded over to grab the instrument from where it rested nearby.
"Thank you so much" Twilight said as they returned up the stairs and out of the house. Octavia gave a brief nod, and shut the door. Twilight blinked, apparently the grey earth pony really didn't like her practice being interrupted.
"So where are we going now?" Applebloom asked.
"Actually" Twilight said "This next part is super confidential, so unfortunately, this is where we part ways"
"Awwwww..." The Cutie Mark Crusaders said.
"Sorry" the Doctor said "Rules are rules, after all."
After some more cajoling, as well as a bribe of several Jammy Dodgers from Twilight, the three fillies finally relented and went on there way. That taken care of, Pinkie, Twilight, and the Doctor began the walk to Ponyville Square.
"You know, I rather like those three" the Doctor said musingly as they trotted swiftly to their destination "They're quite entertaining. Especially Scootaloo, mostly because of her name. There are just so many different ways to rhyme it. Scootaroo, Scootazoo, Scootablue, Scootaboo, Scootamoo....."
Twilight rolled her eyes "As if you didn't already have enough rhymes just from my name"
The Doctor brightened "Oh yes, your name is quite versitile too! I came up with several more just the other day....Twilight Darkle, Twilight Barkle, Twilight Sharkle, Twilight Sporkle....that one's not really a rhyme though....As well a Flylight Sparkle, Crylight Sparkle, Sighlight Sparkle, Frylight Sparkle, Thighlight Sparkle, as well as all the different combinations between all those first and last names, including my personal favorite, Drylight Snarkle. Geddit? Like 'dry snark'.... Except its with your name."
Twilight facehoofed. Opening her saddlebags, she began levitating the things she needed for the spell out onto the pavement, using her telekinesis to hold the book out in front of her while simultaneously copying the runes inside onto the ground with several pieces of chalk. Next she layed out the magic amplifying herbs and salt on various points, stepping back to admire her hoofwork.
As she did so, the extent of what she needed to do finally hit her, and she suddenly found herself feeling rather scared. She was going to have to execute the spell perfectly or the result would be disastrous. The only time she had done magic this powerful was when she was aided by the elements of harmony...and possibly when she was a filly during the entrance exam. What if she failed? If the unsuccessful spell didn't destroy Ponyville, the giant bugs definitely would.
Twilight began to feel her breaths coming short and sharp, and tried failingly to slow down her breathing. She needed to calm down. She needed to focus.
"Gummy worm?"
Her thoughts were interrupted by her time traveling friend, who held out a bag of gummy candies to her.
"Did you get those from my saddlebags?" she asked.
"Maybe...." the Doctor said slowly
"How did you even know where they were?" Twilight's saddlebags contained many, many pockets. It was only because of her meticulous organization that it was possible to find anything at all in them.
"Well maybe I've looked through them a couple of times..."
"You know" Twilight said slowly " One day I am going to hide an envelope somewhere where I know you'll find it, with a mysterious name on it so you won't be able to resist opening it, and inside will be a long letter on respecting other people's personal privacy"
"Oh come on, I asked you if you wanted one, didn't I? At least I'm not taking snacks from your saddlebags without offering you any"
He proffered the bag of pilfered treats to Twilight once more, and, with an eye roll and a small chuckle, Twilight took a few of the candies from the bag, relishing their sweet taste.
Then Pinkie bounced up to them, donning her full instrument setup "Are we ready?" she asked.
Twilight nodded and moved to her proper place in the circle of runes.
Pinkie Pie began to play.
....And up above, Rainbow Dash watched, mouthing quietly "What the buck?"

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten
In which Ponyville gets some lovely new statuary and Spike screams some more

Deep inside the Everfree forest, safe behind the shimmering, deep green shield she had cloaked her hut in after the Doctor left, Zecora perked her ears up. The Zebra lifted her head and peered out her window, blue eyes widening. Giant parisprites. All of them moving torpidly past her hut, eyes glazed as if entranced by something. Murmuring an incantation under her breath, the Zebra's eyes briefly glowed golden and the shield around her hut thickened and expanded.
Resting her black and white hooves on the windowsill, she rhymed musingly
"Seems like trouble is fast brewing....I hope the Doctor know's what he's doing"
She shook her head and returned to her tea. Outside her window, the bugs continued to lumber towards Ponyville.
It was like nothing Twilight had ever seen. It had taken several minutes for the first to emerge, but now, one by one, the scarisprites issued forth from the forest. The wave of bloated, elephantine bugs flowed sluggishly towards the source of the music, and a shudder ran down Twilight's back. Quickly, she put a shield spell Pinkie Pie. She herself would have to forgo any magical shielding for herself as it would block her spell, but Pinkie would definitely need to be shielded, as she was the bait for the creatures.
After what seemed like ages, the stream of giant bugs from the forest stopped, and all the awful creatures were gathered in the square There were at least one hundred, ranging from the size of a soccer ball to a small building, and all clustered in a giant mass about Twilight and her friends. The only thing that kept the bugs from engulfing the group were small blasts from Twilight's horn that she used to herd the terrifying creatures back, leaving a clear patch of ground about ten feet in diameter for them to stand in.
The purple unicorn gave a final check to make absolutely certain that all the Scarisprites had come out from the forest, then, taking a deep breath, she began her spell. Twilight lit her horn, and all around her, glowing magenta light raced along the white lines of chalk, the magic amplifying symbols glowing with brilliant intensity. The piles of herbs and salts spread on the runes burst into blinding points of fuchsia flame as the magic reached them. Twilight was surrounded by a malestrom of dazzling light as he symbols glowed even brighter and tendrils of magic began creeping up her hooves, entwining like vines as they slowly spread up her legs. She opened her eyes, and they glowed a blazing white.
Rainbow Dash watched all of this with stupification. Sure, she had known that her egghead friend was good at magic, but here she looked like she was going to call down the wrath of Celestia to smite them all or something. That wasn't even getting started on the gigantic bug things....and Pinkie playing the polka. The cyan pegasus wobbled a little in the air as she tried to process all this. What the sweet bucking Celestia was going on?
Was Twilight summoning the mega-insects for some bizarre magic ritual? Had her friend gone to the dark side?
Dash grit her teeth. She bet it was because of Turner. That weirdo pony....despite being rather cute.....was totally up to no good! She bet he was using some kind of voodoo sorcery to control Twilight and use her super crazy magic powers do do all sort of dastardly things, like call forth bug armies and take over the world and..... put random blue boxes in fields?
Rainbow shrugged. Who was she to question the mind of an evil genius?
He must have Pinkie under his control too, Rainbow rationalized. The party pony wouldn't be helping out with this freak show plot otherwise. Maybe he liked polka music as a background for his evil escapades....
Whatever the case, Dash wasn't going to let it stand. She dove towards Twilight, ready to tackle her and shake her out of the mind control trace.
"I'LL SAVE YOU TWILI- Oof!" Her flight path was suddenly altered as something grabbed onto her tail. The brightly colored pegasus flopped heavily onto the ground.
"Oh no you don't" the Doctor said, spitting out Rainbow's tail and looking over to Twilight "If you interfere with the spell now it could be disaster-"
"You!" Rainbow spat, interrupting the warning. She had already gotten to her hooves again and now was looking at the Doctor through narrowed eyes.
At that word, the Doctor looked back to the brash pegasus....and was met by a tidal wave of pure equine fury.
"YAHHHHH!" Rainbow Dash cried, tackling the brown earth pony. The Doctor was thrown back onto the ground and had to throw his hooves up in front of his face to protect himself from the livid pony's assault.
"Oi! What are you doi- Ow! Stop it!"
"Ha! That'll teach you to put my friends under your sick mind control!" Rainbow Dash laughed triumphantly.
"Mind Control?" The Doctor said, still fending off the tenacious pegasus's attacks "What in the bloody-Ow! Blazes are you talking about?!"
"Yeah, yeah" Rainbow just scoffed "Play dumb all you want. That won't change the fact that I already know about your evil plan and freaky blue box thing!"
"You know about the TARDIS?" The Doctor asked, stunned into momentarily lowering his hooves from his face. Rainbow clocked him straight in the nose
"Ow! That hurt! What is wrong with you?....crazy phsyco pon-" The pegasus hit him again "Owwwwww....."
"Tardis!" Rainbow said victoriously "So that's what it's called! Then that means....uhhh....that means.....What exactly is a Tardis again?"
The Doctor was too busy clutching his muzzle to reply "I already got hit there with a door!" he whined indignantly prodding the area of his nose that had gotten hit "Ow, ow ow.....Hooves really hurt....I think it might be bleeding"
Rainbow Dash got up, snorting contemptuously "Serves you right for voodoo-ing Twilight and Pinkie! Now if you don' mind, I'm going to go save my frien-oof!"
The Doctor had grabbed her tail again and pulled her to the ground.
"I told you. You can't interrupt the spell without-" he stopped dead as the cyan pegasus whipped her head around, glaring at him with such ferocious intensity that even the great Iorn Will would have run screaming into the Everfree.
"Oh....." the pegasus hissed "It. Is. On!"
The Doctor barely maneged to get out a "Bloody Hell..." before the pegasus flew at him with the force of a train.
Meanwhile, Twilight was deep inside her spell. Slowly, bending to her will, tendrils of magic began to reach out from the epicenter of the glowing whirlwind of magenta force. Like questing fingers, they began to wrap around the nearest Scarisprites, turning everything they touched into lifeless rock. Even as that happened new coils were shooting out from her storm of magic entwining about more and more of the hellish creatures and petrifying them on the spot. The little unicorn's eyes grew ever brighter as the field of rushing magic about her expanded further and further about the bugs.
Nearby, both the Doctor and Rainbow Dash looked up, both gaping at the storm of magic. Not taking her eyes off the brilliant display, Rainbow slowly raised a hoof and punched the Doctor in the face.
Twilight's magic continued to expand outward, engulfing all the giant insects. Squeezing her eyes shut and planting her hooves a little firmer into the ground, the unicorn attempted to pour even more of her magic into the spell. The vortex of light grew even further, becoming nearly blinding. Then the unicorn reopened her eyes and the entire cloud of magic flashed a brilliant glaring white.
Twilight stumbled, panting. She was surrounded by dozens of stone scarisprites.
The unicorn let the shield around Pinkie dissolve, even the relatively small effort of maintaining the barrier had become exhausting. Then she looked over to the Doctor and....Rainbow Dash?
"Rainbow!" She shouted "Stop that!"
"Sorry, I can't listen to you....You're under his evil influence!" the pegasus shouted while still attempting to accost the Doctor "But don't worry, I'll save you!"
"Rainbow!"
"It's okay! I got this!-Oof!"
The Doctor looked up to see Twilight standing above the crumpled pegasus with a heavy book in her hooves and an apologetic wince on her face. She returned the book to her saddlemag
"You know, Sparky" the Doctor said musingly from the ground "I once said books were the best weapons in the world....of course at the time I mean it in the whole metaphorical, pen is mightier than the sword, sense.....but it looks like they're pretty good at doling out concussions as well"
The brown stallion looked thoughtful
"Come to think of it though, I did win a sword fight with a pen once. So I guess they both work in a literal sense"
"I think she's unconscious" Twilight said, waving a hoof over her friends face ".....are you okay?"
"Yeah...." the Doctor muttered, getting up and wincing "Just dandy. Did the spell work? Because if I got beaten up by your friend for nothing, I swear..."
Twilight just made a small gesture with her hoof, and the Doctor took a look around at all the bug statues.
After a short while, he said slowly "First you go all super nova when Thornwing ticked you off, and now this" He chuckled "...Remind me to never make you mad."
Twilight didn't seem to be listening, however. She began to walk slowly back over to the statues, looking deep in thought.
"Is Twi okay?" Pinkie asked
"I'll go talk to her" the Doctor said "You stay here and make sure Rainbow doesn't wake up"
The pink party pony nodded and the Doctor totted after Twilight. She had reached the largest Scarisprite and now had a hoof on it's stone surface, an anguished expression on her face. As she sensed the Doctor's approach, she said quietly
"Used on a being that isn't a god like Discord or Celestia, the petrifying spell is virtually permanent" her voice shook slightly "I basically killed them"
"Twilight" the Doctor said softly "You have to trust me when I say that this was the only thing we could have done. Back on earth, I tried everything to stop these creatures from destroying others without in turn bringing about their own end. Everything failed. In the end, this was probably the most merciful way they could have been stopped, no genocide, no destruction, only stone."
Twilight nodded, then she asked "How do you do it, Doctor? How do you make these decisions that could affect so many without hating yourself for possibly making the wrong choice?"
The Doctor's answer was short, but eloquent.
"Who says I don't?"
The purple unicorn turned her head to look at the Doctor, only to find him walking back to Rainbow and Pinkie. She just stood there for a few seconds, unsure what to say.
"Well, come along Sparky!" the Doctor called back, returning to his usual chipper manner "We had best get this mess cleaned up before anybody notices all the new statuary... that would be a bit hard to explain"
Despite herself, Twilight couldn't help but chuckle picturing what Ponyville would think of it's town square's new decorations. With a small smile, she followed the Doctor back to her friends.
Moving the scarisprites was fairly easy. Summoning the last of her reserves and using the magic amplifying runes that were still in place from the petrifying spell, Twilight cast a magnified levitation spell to move the stone bugs to different places in the Everfree forest, clustering the grotesque statues near the more dangerous areas of the forest where they would hopefully serve a duel purpose by dissuading any curious explorers. Then there was just the matter of cleaning up all the chalk runes, which was also easy enough. Twilight and Pinkie just used their tails as dusters and swept the lines away.
Finally, they stood on the edge of a pristine Ponyville square. All three of them looking tired, but triumphant.
"Now we just have to go back to the party" Pinkie said cheerfully.
"Oh yeah..." Twilight groaned "...that"
"Wonderful" the Doctor said dryly
They both exchanged glances then gave twin exhausted sighs
"Bring it on."
Then the eyes of all three ponies flicked over to Rainbow Dash, and all three of them had a moment of simultaneous realization.
"Nose goes for carrying Dash!" Pinkie shouted frantically, putting her own hoof on her muzzle. She looked to the others "Aww, Twilight, you lose"
The purple unicorn sighed, muttering "Alright, alright"
Walking up to Rainbow, she closed her eyes and attempted to levitate the pegasus into the air. Her reward was a shooting pain in her skull, a sensation she was very familiar with. It was the symptom of too many too large of spells done in too short of a time, and something she had experienced often in her schooling in Canterlot. She probably wouldn't be able to do much besides levitate a cup of tea or turn the page of a book until at least the next day. She was going to have to carry Dash the old fashioned way....and unfortunately, she was a bit larger than Twilight, as well as heavier from all the extra muscle.
With a small huff of annoyance, Twilight bent down and attempted to sling the pegasus over her back.
"Here, Sparky" the Doctor interrupted "I got it. You're probably exhausted"
A flash of relief passed over the Twilight's face as the Doctor hoisted her friend onto his back, giving a small huff as he lifted her full weight.
"Oof" he gave a small chuckle "She's heavier than she looks"
"Comes from her crazy exercise regimen" Twilight said as they began to walk towards the library, Pinkie bouncing along beside them "Flying takes a lot of muscle"
"You should see Applejack!" Pinkie chirped "Once I had to carry her home after a crazy night of partying...it was like a sack of bricks!"
As they approached the library, Twilight said slowly "Wait a second ....We can't just carry Rainbow Dash unconscious through the front door of a party, ponies will think something happened"
"We're climbing up to the balcony again, aren't we?" the Doctor deadpanned.
Twilight sighed "Yep."
"Woohooo!" Pinkie cheered.
Rainbow Dash regained consciousness in the upper floor of Twilight's library, holding her head with a hoof "What the buck happened?" She mumbled, before locking eyes on the Doctort.
The pegasus startled, jumping almost a foot backwards "You!" she squawked "Why you little-"
"Rainbow!" Twilight scolded "Calm down"
"Why should I?" Rainbow lashed out "That plot-hat has been doing all sorts of fishy things behind everyponies back! I just saw you guys walk out of some weirdo box, use Pinkie's music to call some ginormous bug army, and then Twilight went all freaky god magic on them! Look, I don't know what you guys are doing or what he's told you, but you've got to snap out of it! This guy is bad news! I can feel it in my feathers!"
Twilight and the Doctor exchanged glances as if she were crazy, and Rainbow grit her teeth, were they really playing stupid?
"Silly filly!" Pinkie chirped "We never left the party...Duh!"
"Well I don't- Wait what?"
"We found you passed out under a table and took you up here out of all the loud noise and music to make sure you were okay..." Twilight narrowed her eyes "Are you sure you didn't have too much cider to drink?"
Something clicked in Rainbow Dash's head.....Party? Check...Waking up someplace with no idea of how she got there? Check....Headache? Check.
Twilight's theory was starting to sound more plausible with every pound of Rainbow's sore head. Was it really just a dream? A freaky, bucked up dream?
"I don't believe you" Rainbow said weakly "He- he is a bad pony! I just know it!"
The cyan pegasus's chest twisted as she saw the hurt that passed over Twilight's face at her words.
"Dash..." She said "He's my friend. What has gotten into you?"
Dash winced "I- I.......I don't know"
She turned and walked through the door, back into the party.
Twilight watched her go with a pained expression. She hated lying.....But her friend would be safer not knowing. That way, if anything happened, she wouldn't be associated with them. She would be safe.
Eventually, the trio reluctantly (or in Pinkie's case, cheerfully) made their way downstairs. As they opened the door, they found Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy waiting for them.
Before Twilight could react, Rarity had wrapped her in a hug.
"Oh, Twilight!" Rarity gushed in her usual dramatic fashion "I'm so sorry. I just got so caught up in the moment, I didn't even notice how horrible I was making you feel! Can you ever forgive me?"
Twilight blinked, surprised, then smiled "Of course, Rarity" She said, hugging the fashionista back "You're one of my best friends. So what if you can get a little carried away sometimes?"
Rainbow Dash snorted "A little? She's like drama-" Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity all gave the pegasus a pointed look. She shrank back, giving a nervous chuckle "I mean......I'm sorry too Twilight. I got carried away too. I jumped to conclusions, and was well....a jealous hothead. I saw your new friend as a threat instead of somepony I could be friends with too. "
Twilight nodded "It's okay Rainbow Dash" She smiled giving her friend "And I would never replace you"
Rainbow Dash smiled, then looked over to the Doctor "Friends?" she asked
"Friends"
For the first time that day, Twilight let herself relax. Everything was okay, her friends were happy, the town was safe, and everything was fine. She leaned lightly against the Doctor, yawning like a cat as she realized just how tired she was.
"Hey guys...Where did you go, I-" Spike walked into the room, talking, then abruptly cut short as he saw Twilight and the Doctor "GAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The baby dragon ran away like Discord himself was chasing him.
Twilight facehoofed.....so maybe she had one thing left to take care of.

Epilouge

"So..." Spike said slowly , trying to wrap his head around the information he had just been given "You're not dating?"
Twilight restrained herself from banging her head on a bookshelf. It had taken two hours. Two Celestia darned hours of chasing down the screaming baby dragon and trying to talk to him, only to have him run away again screaming some more, but finally they had gotten it into his head.
She nodded tiredly "Yes, Spike. I'm not dating anyone"
"Thank Celestia!" the little dragon cried "That was terrifying....I probably wont sleep for-Zzzzzzz"
Spike cut off with a long snore, and slumped to the ground, fast asleep. With a chuckle and a shake of her head, Twilight levitated him onto her back, ruffling his spines fondly.
"Heh...." Rarity laughed nervously from beside her "Sorry about that"
"It's-" Twilight yawned "alright"
Applejack and Fluttershy emerged from the kitchen
"We got the kitchen all cleaned up for you Twi" Applejack said as she trotted over to them
"Thank you so much" Twilight said "You really didn't need to, I could have gotten it"
"Aww, shucks" the farmpony pulled her hat lower "It was no problem at all...though it would have gone faster if somepony hadn't spilled cake batter all over"
Pinkie looked up guiltily "I was just trying to help" she defended.
"How on earth, do you get cake batter on the ceiling?" AJ griped "Ah ask ya...."
Twilight just laughed "And how goes it picking up all those letter tiles, Dash?"
Once it had become clear that calming down Spike would take a while, Rainbow had challenged the Doctor to a game of Scrabble. As expected, little wooden pieces had been flung everywhere when she lost.
"I almost got all of them" the pegasus called back, hunting on the floor for more tiles "Aha!....I think that's the last of em' Twi"
"Well" Rarity yawned "I for one, think I'll be heading home. I have a big order of dresses to fill tomorrow"
"I'd best be gettin' home as well" Applejack nodded "I need to help Big Mag with the farm chores early in the morning"
One by one, the others left as well, yawning and giving goodbyes and soon it was only Pinkie and the Doctor left.
Twilight trotted upstairs, depositing Spike in his bed before returning downstairs to her friends.
"It's getting pretty late Pinkie" She said "Are you sure you don't want me and the Doctor to walk you home?"
Pinkie shook her head "Nope. I'm going to sleep over here" she bounded off cheerfully towards the kitchen.
Twilight chuckled. Pinkie was the only pony she knew of to invite herself to sleepovers. Rolling her eyes, she took a step, tripped over a pile of books, and landed on the ground with a squeak.
The Doctor laughed "I thought unicorn's were supposed to be graceful" he chuckled.
"Yeah, yeah"
"Unicorns" the Doctor said making a grand gesture with his front hooves and trying to hold back laughter "the paragon of beauty and elegance.....then there is Sparky...well...She tries"
"Ha. Ha" Twilight grumbled, but she didn't have the energy annoyed. A monumental yawn escaped her as she pulled herself to her hooves.
"Quite the day, wasn't it?" the Doctor said
The unicorn nodded "I'm beat. I think I've used enough adrenaline today for an entire lifetime" she chuckled, shaking her head "I have to admit, it was pretty dicey there in the end. I wasn't sure if we would have enough time to stop them"
"And are you sure you're alright?" The Doctor asked "I mean, fighting gigantic alien insects isn't exactly everybody's cup of tea, and if this adventure cut it too close for comfort..."
Twilight cut him of with a laugh "Doctor, please. It'll take more than a ravening horde of space bugs to scare me off"
The Doctor grinned "Good."
"Hay..." Twilight joked "Are you sure you can handle hanging around with me? Just today, one of my friends gave you a makeover, and another one beat you up."
The Doctor rolled his eyes, chuckling "Sparky, please. It'll take more than your slightly crazy friends to scare me off"
Twilight gave a little smirk "....Good."
"Uhhhhh....Twilight?" Pinkie called from the kitchen "I kinda spilled some lemonade on your floor...."
Twilight sighed "Coming!" she gave the Doctor a brief hug "Goodnight, Doctor"
The Doctor smiled "Goodnight, Sparky"
"NIGHTY NIGHT!" Pinkie called from Twilight's kitchen
"Night, Pinkie" The timelord laughed quietly,shaking his head, he doubted that poor Twilight would get any rest with her sleeping over. Then he stepped out the door and began to walk to his TARDIS in the fields.

Perched on one of the branches on Twilight's library, Rainbow Dash watched this exchange thoughtfully, and was feeling little guilty for doing so. Twilight trusted this pony....why couldn't she?
But if there was one thing that she had learned as a flier it was to trust her gut. Right now her gut was telling her that something was up. It would only be this once, then she would leave it.....Dash just needed to investigate this hunch.
As Turner walked away Rainbow took off, spreading her wings and flying behind him at a safe distance. For a good while it was boring, just watching him walk. The pegasus even considered giving up and going back to her could house. Then she saw it, standing in the middle of a patch of moonlit grass...A blue box.
As she watched, wide eyed, Time Turner unlocked the doors and stepped inside.
Rainbow watched, waiting. He would come out soon, right? I mean nopony could stand around in a tiny box for too long without going out of their mind in boredom. Then, with a strange noise, the box began to fade, like it was disappearing, before returning to normal. As it faded in and out for a second time, Rainbow Dash noticed it getting fainter, next fade in and out it was fainter still. The pegasus dove at it, but came up with empty air.
Getting to her feet, she pondered this strange turn of events. Did this mean he really was evil after all? Something told Dash he wasn't. After all, Twilight obviously thought he was a good pony, and she didn't seem like she was being mind controlled.....Rainbow trusted her friends judgement.
That didn't mean she wasn't going to investigate this, though.
"Make no mistake, Turner" Rainbow Dash muttered to the field "I've got my eye on you"