Rarity sat atop her mountain of gems won from the Diamond Dogs in the middle of Carousel Boutique sipping her water (that was sparkling this time) from her grail bedazzled in rubies and emeralds that were superfluous to her designs for Sapphire Shores. Of course, at times, Rarity would argue that that there is no such thing as superfluous when it comes to what some would call gaudy bedizenment. However, when one takes away Rarity’s cocktails, she backs from such notions.

Back to the scene in question, Rarity looked upon her winnings in total satisfaction. All I need is a ring for the little ponies to kiss.

Having her gem supply for Sapphire’s wardrobe covered, the fashionista could now return her thoughts to a more pressing matter.

Revenge.

Yes, Rarity had not forgotten, let alone forgiven Rainbow Dash’s behavior the week before at Kicker’s Kavern. Honestly, to drop a lady right there on the floor purely for jest! The nerve!

Rarity huffed and kicked a jewel that was at the top of the pile, which clunkily rolled and fell to the bottom. What’s worse is that she had the nerve to deceive me with a dance.

The dancing. It had run through Rarity’s mind more than anything concerning what had transpired that evening. Though it only lasted less than two or so minutes, it left a huge mark in the unicorn’s mind. There was a certain look on Rainbow Dash’s face when she beckoned Rarity to a dance: a look of... chivalry? It likened to the look a gentlecolt made when he offered a lady a dance at a high society cotillion. I daresay, she seemed like a prince.

Rarity continued her train of thought while lazily sipping her beverage and reclining on her back into the pile. ...Bah! A true prince wouldn’t treat a lady like moi like some disposable rag doll, not to mention drop me in the middle of a ratty dive bar. Rainbow’s just a tease, a jester! Nothing more! Now, I must plot my revenge on that scoundrel once and for all!

In dramatically convenient timing, the door to the boutique burst open, revealing Rainbow Dash carrying some bags of groceries in her mouth. Her eyes widened at the sight of the glorious pile of diamonds. She dropped the groceries to the floor in amazement, and looked to the unicorn at the top of the hill, chuckling all the while.

“So, do you want me to kiss the ring or something?”

Rarity beamed. “Well, is that not something! I was just thinking the same thing.”

“So, you admit you're that conceited?”

“Oh, glory be, you learned a new word. I bet you got a gold star.”

“Ooh, a dumb joke, how original.”

“Ooh, sarcasm. That’s certainly a high form of wit.”

“Hello, Pot. My name is Kettle. How does it feel being as black as me?”

“Are you going to come inside, or are you going to stand there all day and try to best me in a match of wits that you simply cannot win?”

“...Yes.” Rarity promptly tossed her chalice to Dash’s head, which made a rather loud thud.

“Oww!” Rainbow rubbed her forehead. “What the buck, Rarity?”

“Consider that payback for dropping me on the floor at that “Kicker’s” establishment.” You fool! You should have bided your time and thought of something more ingenious than blunt force. Foolish, Rarity! Foolish!

Rainbow adorned a look of utter confusion. “Kicker’s? What... wait? You’re talking about when I dropped you at Kicker’s? Jeez, Rarity, that was a week ago!”

“It matters not! I needed my vindication.”

“Your what?" Rainbow rubbed away the pain from her temple before shaking it off. She looked up to Rarity. "Anyway, do you want some brunch?”

Deciding to move on from the fight, Rarity gave a nod to Rainbow. As Dash walked into the kitchen with her groceries, Rarity inquired, “May I ask what you’re preparing for us, Dash?”

“Well, Rarity,” Rainbow dropped her bags to Rarity’s counter and scoured for a blender. “Your brunches are good and stuff, but my body’s used to consuming things quickly and digesting it just as quick. Your hoity-toity finger foods and salads are just way too solid for me in the mornings to properly digest. So, we’re going to have something that satisfies my mighty system.”

“That would be—”

“Swakes!” Rainbow Dash pulled out her groceries to reveal boxes of vitamin and protein supplements, as well as a variety of fruits and vegetables. Next she opened the cabinet above the sink and removed the blender.

“'Swakes'?” Rarity inquired as she slid down the mountain of gems to make her way to the kitchen.

“Darn skippy!” Dash plugged in the blender and began chopping vegetable with one of Rarity’s knives. “You see, Rarity, Swakes are energy shakes designed to release one’s inner swag, which, if you’ll remember, is innate in all ponies, and—”

“Rainbow Dash! If you go on another lecture about ‘swag’ ever again, I am tanning your hide!”

A pregnant pause proceeded, before Rainbow Dash burst into laughter. “‘Tan my hide’? RariHick, much?”

Rarity cleared her throat and blushed. “My apologies. I was at Sweet Apple Acres the other day, and I heard Applejack use it when she was scolding Apple Bloom.”

Rainbow nodded. “Anyhoot, do you want ‘Green Machine’ or ‘Blue Machine’?”

“The difference being?”

“Well, ‘Blue Machine’ has some blueberries I bought at the market, and ‘Green Machine’ has a bunch of green crap that I found in the Everfree Forest. If you ask me, the green crap really gives the ‘Green Machine’ that extra kick you need to pull off a sonic rainboom and keep you toned.”

Rarity cocked an eyebrow. “Is that honestly even a question? If I’m going to partake in one of those beverages, I’m choosing the one that has ingredients of which I’m fully aware of their origin!”

Rainbow gave a blank stare. “So... which one do you want?”

Rarity growled, groaned and stomped her hoof. “OH, JUST GIVE ME THE STUPID ‘Green Machine’!”

Rainbow grinned deviously. “Atta girl.”

—Minutes Pass—

Rarity gulped down the remainder of her green concoction and placed her glass onto the breakfast table. “I daresay, Rainbow Dash, this ‘Green Machine’ is positively splendid! You certainly know how to blend beverages.”

Dash wiped her lips with her hoof and nodded in agreement. “I’m telling you, it’s the green stuff that makes it good.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Regardless, you simply must make this again sometime.”

Rainbow grinned. “Heh, you know it.” She turned her head to the mound of diamonds sitting in the boutique. “So, what’re you planning on doing with all those?”

“Well, I do believe that first and foremost, I’ll dedicate a portion of those hard-earned gems to a little splurging. Would you not?”

Rainbow scoffed. “Hard-earned? Yeah, because annoying a bunch of dogs until they give you their gems is truly what hard work means.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Mock all you want, Rainbow Dash, but I’ve spent years perfecting my methods of charming and goading the opposite sex into my whims. This training will culminate with my dazzling appearance at the Grand Galloping Gala, where I will meet Prince Blueblood and have him fall in love with me at first sight!”

“...You’ve got drool coming out of the corner of your mouth.”

Rarity looked to the scene of the drool, and promptly wiped it away. The unicorn chuckled nervously as she tried to conceal her blush of embarrassment. “Hehe... so I do.”

Rainbow chuckled. “So, does it honestly take that much effort to try and woo a guy? I figured the whole deal was just to be attractive.”

Rarity scoffed. “Please. Turning stallions into jelly is more than just having good looks. You must also learn the arts of flirting and teasing.”

“Aren’t those kinda the same thing?”

“You have much to learn, my dear Rainbow.”

My dear Rainbow? “Actually, I don’t. I’ve never been interested in stallions, so your tips won’t be any help to me.”

“Come now, Dash. I listened to your ridiculous lectures on ‘coolness’ and ‘swag’ and what have you, the least you can do is indulge me and listen to my own fields of expertise.”

Rainbow glowered before sighing. “Fine. What’s the difference between flirting and teasing?”

Rarity cleared her throat. “Well, first off, what’s important about flirting is that it’s essentially an offset of general good manners and etiquette. To flirt, all one has to do is act like everything the target says or does is interesting or pleasing.”

“So being a flirt means being butt-kisser? No wonder you’d fit in with high society.”

Rarity scoffed. “Rainbow Dash! Currying favor, or... 'rear kissing', as you so crudely put, has a distinct difference from flirtation. When simply kissing-up to somepony for the purposes of societal gain, one does not have to try to achieve an artificial sense of intimacy.”

Rainbow cocked her head to the side in confusion.

Rarity sighed. “Meaning,” Rarity leaned closer to Dash’s side of the table. Their muzzles were nearly meeting. Rarity uttered in a hushed, but playful voice, “I don’t have to try as hard with other ponies like I do with you. I just think you’re that cool.” Rarity gave a coy grin before giggling and batting her eyes, which made Dash’s own eyes widen as she jerked back against her chair.

“What!? What the?”

Rarity continued her giggling. “And that is where teasing comes into play. You simply give the target these tiny, subtle signals that are designed to make him feel like he has leeway into some kind of physical intimacy. You can even go so far as to...” Rarity placed her forehoof onto Dash’s forehoof, and began making gentle little rubs. Dash froze completely, unable to resist. "Now, you see, stallions-being the volatile creatures that they are-get the mightiest shockwaves from even this slightest iota of physical contact. These shockwaves give them the impression that if they do whatever I say, they will be rewarded in the form of... well, moi.”

Rainbow simply nodded, unable to respond verbally at the moment.

Rarity finally removed her hoof from atop Rainbow’s, and Dash promptly jerked it back to her body.

The unicorn smiled. “I realize that I made it look easy, but let me tell you, it took many years of trial and error before I learned all the techniques. You should consider yourself lucky that you got a crash course like this.”

Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. “Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever you say.”

What the hay is going on? This stuff is only supposed to work on stallions, right? Oh, what does it even matter? Rarity’s just teasing me! Of course she’s not actually trying to turn me into jelly, right? RIGHT!?

It’s such a shame that Rainbow Dash is a mare of such strong will. Otherwise, this would have been an excellent method of revenge.

Author's Note

I am so, so, so, so, so, SO sorry this took so long. Delays like this won't happen again, I promise (although, my promises are known to be worthless... I'm gonna be a great deadbeat dad someday )

Also, Mighty Mango is best flavor of Naked (those of you who don't know, Blue Machine and Green Machine are flavors of Naked fruit juice).