I Don't Know How to Deal With This
The roar is deafening, they continued to scream and shout. They wouldn’t be quiet, they keep fighting. Why are they rebelling. They’re just like the little one, and just like when I first saw it, I don’t know how to deal with this.
This rebellion is pointless. Why won’t they understand, Celestia will crush them, just like she did before, and just like she will do for the rest of eternity. They are weak, and we are strong. They just don’t get it.
But how do I deal with this, it’s like the little one all over again.
It was two years after I became a student, Celestia had finished with the beginning of my training, the next step was breaking me. She couldn’t deal with a student who would eventually turn out to be more powerful than her.
Actually, I am more powerful than her right now, I could kill her. It wouldn’t even be a challenge. I just go up to her and bang, she’s dead. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. She’s so nice to me. No she isn’t. But she takes care of me, I don’t know if I could deal with being without her. I’m dependent, so I’m weak. I’m powerful, so I’m strong. I wasn’t strong before, she made me powerful.
It started with the little one. I was still technically a filly, and even through the first years of learning I retained most of my innocence. And then she told me it was time to become powerful, I followed her down a corridor, we went into an area of the palace I’d never seen before. The ornate walls slowly transitioned to slate. The walls were a flawless grey, no cracks or marks, no scuffs or stains. A perfect grey.
At the end of the hall stood two doors on the opposite walls, both were open. One lead to black the other white, that’s all I could see. “In there.” She gestured to the white room as she closed the door to the blackness.
My eyes adjusted as I stepped through the threshold. I could see no walls, just a whiteness that expanded forever. The Princess stepped in after me and closed the door, which disappeared from sight and into the void of white. “Now, my faithful student Twilight, I want to make you powerful, but you mustn’t surpass me. You must be tried. Are you prepared for your test?”
I looked around the room, it was entirely empty aside from the two of us. “A pop quiz? I had no idea this was a test. What is my trial, I don’t see anything, just the endless white.” I squinted of in the distance, checking to see if there was anything far out on the horizon, beyond what I saw at first glance.
“You have failed to answer my question, are you prepared for your test?” She sounded impatient.
I gave a curt nod in response. “I am ready for whatever you throw at me.” If only I had known, I was naive. No, I was loyal, and it was my loyalty that blinded me. I thought Celestia cared for me, wanted to be a good teacher, wanted to make me better, to help a talented unicorn unlock her potential. I had no clue that Celestia was manipulating me, experimenting on me, turning me into a weapon.
But that doesn’t matter. It might’ve mattered before, but now it’s trivial. It could not matter less.
A rock bashes into my head and rips me back into the present. I sit in the chariot, surrounded by the royal guard. Celestia had sent me here to end this act of resistance, to squash all rebellion. I am her iron hoof. I am both deadly weapon and versatile tool. They are weak, they should know that. They’ve no hope and yet they fight. Just like the little one.
I close my eyes and return to my thoughts, this time a simple magic barrier divides me from them. I need to complete my contemplation, maybe then I’ll know how to deal with them.
“Look again.” I turned from her and looked back out, the new sight shocked me. A young pegasus colt, maybe three years old, laid on the ground before me. It was apparent that Celestia had just teleported him from wherever he was before. The look on his face was one of surprise and confusion.
I felt just as confused as the foal looked. “I’m afraid I don’t understand, what is my test?” A feeling of dread loomed in my mind, I felt that I didn’t want to know the answer to my question.
“I need to make certain you are loyal, ready to follow me regardless of anything. Imust make you my tool and weapon. The task is simple: kill the foal. That is your test.” My eyes widened and my stomach dropped. The colt was petrified.
“What?! You want me to kill a child?! I won’t, I can’t, no, no! Not like this, I could never kill!” I was yelling at her and she didn’t blink, as if she expected all of it. The colt regained his composure and tensed up. looking ready to fight.
“I think you mean that you aren’t going to kill him yet.” She had an all-knowing smirk on her face, I hated that look.
I looked back at the little one, “you have nothing to fear from me. I won’t kill you, don’t worry.” He relaxed.
“Well it seems you failed your test, that means you are required to take remedial courses until you are ready to try again.” Her expression shifted from the sneer to an angry look of disappointment. “Come with me.” She opened a door that seemed to appear from nowhere and lead me back into the grey hallway.
“In here.” She opened the other door, the one that lead to the black room. I walked in slowly and tentatively, this place felt evil. “You will wait in here until you are ready.”
My stomach dropped as the door swung shut behind me. I was surrounded by a thick blackness. My body shook and my knees collapsed. I tried to create light with magic, but the dark was too thick and I could see nothing, not even my own hoof in front of my face. It felt like something was moving around in the darkness, I was terrified.
I didn’t know how to deal with the dark.
I don’t know how long I was in there. It could have been seconds, but it felt like years. The door opened and I was blinded, but even without sight for that moment, I ran towards the light. I stepped out into the hallway and saw Celestia. I should’ve hated her for what I just went through, but I only felt relief. “I suppose you’ve learned your lesson?” I nodded hastily. “So you are ready to kill?” I froze, I had entirely forgotten what this was all about. “I didn’t think so.” I felt myself lifted by her magic and thrown back into the dark.
This went on a few times, five to be exact. The fifth time I broke. I heard voices from the black. They spoke of death and endings, of Hell and pain. I heard scurrying all around me, then something touched me and I shattered. When the door opened I looked up at the princess, something was funny because I just kept laughing. I laughed.
“Looks like you’re ready.” She stepped aside as I walked back towards the white room, I just kept laughing. When I opened the door and saw the foal, I realized what was so funny: Death.
“I will not go back to the abyss, which means you,” I stepped towards the colt, “must,” I picked him up with magic, “DIE!” I throw him aside violently. He got up quickly, desperately trying to find a way out, and when he saw none he charged me. “Oh you truly are a featherbrained pegasus.” I swiped him aside. He continued to try and fight. “It’s funny, you’ve no hope, why fight?” He listened none, just kept futilely attacking. We went on like this for a while.
“This was fun at first, but I grow bored.” I levitated him into the air. “I’ll just end this.” The dark told me that the key to life is death, thus I unlocked the child. I took him apart, cell by cell, tearing the life from him. The white room was stained red, and I began to laugh again, death was just oh so funny.
That’s how I broke, and that’s how I became the single most powerful being in Equestria.
A voice from my mind breaks my concentration. “Why are you taking it so easy on them?”
“This isn’t like the times before, those were all just small groups or ones on their own, this is a crowd, I’m no good with crowds. What do I do with them?”
Celestia’s laugh echos in my head. “It’s simple, you kill them, of course.”
“Oh, alright, I’m supposed to kill them, kill all of them. I had no idea.”
That makes it all so easy.
My blood is black you know...
Author's Note
This story started as a dark writing warm-up, but it turned out to be a decent idea in my head. At first it was just me getting in the mood to write some dark stuff.
Also, some of you may have noticed that this story is a re-imagining of Medusa and Crona's relationship from Soul Eater with Celestia and Twilight.
My first true dark writing, please let me know what you think.
