Relics and Writeoff Stories

by FloydienSlip

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Anthology, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3704

A collection of scrapped ideas and chapters.

I'm FloydienSlip, and these stories are junk. Mostly.

These are stories that I have started, but have not completed, nor will they ever be completed. These are a collection of (mostly) unrelated ideas that were either too difficult to write, rough drafts of published stories, or are the worst of what I have to offer you. They are unedited from their original state, so some parts may simply drop off.

These are stories I've written for Writeoff competitions, some of them too small to publish as individual stories of their own.

Published 2013-04-11 13:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-26 20:47:02 UTC

Cluster W: Prologue - Signs of Life

Prologue: Signs of Life

It was as though the sea had flooded Canterlot and was lapping at the sides of every building and street, save for the fact that it was not water, but ponies. Thousands of them, from all over Equestria, had turned out to witness Princess Celestia give a speech for the first time in a month.

It was unusual for her to remain silent for so long, and even more bizarre for her to not answer any questions pertaining to the wielders of the Elements during her day court. Though practically every other question was directed towards them, Celestia did not answer a single one, instead replying to the asking pony that they would find out in time.

"Welcome, dear subjects. Thank you all for being here today. I'm sure you're all wondering about our resident celebrities and their current state of being. Before that, however, I must get the formalities out of the way. Allow me to introduce my dear sister, Princess Luna."

The crowd roared its approval as the alicorn of the night appeared alongside her sister, blushing slightly. Celestia waited for the noise to die down before speaking again.

"Secondly, allow me to introduce Dis-"

A wild, evil-sounding laugh filled the air, cutting the princess' sentence short. Suddenly, the street below the alicorns turned to ice, causing several unfortunate collisions and mishaps, including one poor DJ who accidentally dropped her bass when a famous cellist skated into her head-on.

Celestia groaned and shook her head. Horn lighting up, she quickly reverted the road to its original state, shooting daggers at the creature hovering in the air beside her.

"That's not funny, that's just chaotic."

"And funny!" replied the deer-goat-snake-lion-eagle-lizard-bat-pony with a grin.

Sighing, Celestia gave up and turned her attention to the crowd once more. "Allow me to get straight to the point. The bearers of the Elements of Harmony are no longer present in Ponyville. In fact, as far as I know, they are not even in Equestria any more. That is not to say that they have... passed on, merely that they are not with us at this point in time."

Princess Celestia received several confused looks from the ponies in the crowd, who had taken to whispering amongst themselves. Attempting to further explain, she cleared her throat and spoke again.

"The bearers are not here. They are... elsewhere, currently."

"Does that mean they're dead?" asked a mint-colored unicorn that Celestia did not recognize.

The crowd let out a simultaneous gasp of shock and horror, their whispers quickly escalating into shouts. The solar princess flushed and raised a hoof for silence, before gesturing to the draconequus sitting nearby.

"Perhaps Discord can better clarify the situation," she said, casting a hopeful glance at the creature in question. Discord sighed and stood up from his seat, cracking his back as he did so.

"You owe me one, Celestia," he whispered to her before taking Celestia's spot at the podium.

"Hello, hello, ponies of Equestria. Formal introduction, yada, yada." He looked at Celestia, who was glaring at him. "What?" he asked innocently. "It's boring! Everyone here knows who I am! You made sure of that!" He cleared his throat and turned back to the crowd.

"Now that that's out of the way, let me explain the situation to all you ponies. Last month, Celestia received a letter from her precious little student, Twilight Sparkle. Element of Magic, and all that happy hoo-ha." Ignoring the annoyed looks from the princesses, he continued. "She wanted to let her teacher know that she and her friends were planning on leaving." He paused and spat the next word. "Permanently."

The resulting uproar from the crowd drowned out even Luna's attempts to make herself heard with her Royal Canterlot Voice. Shouts of distress and anger echoed around the streets of Canterlot, rebounding back to the noisy gathering and adding to the excitement and confusion. Several ponies, all pegasi, inadvertently started a fight when they bumped into Prince Blueblood and caused him to fall down into an open sewer grate. After the squabble was broken up, Celestia was able to make herself heard once more.

"First of all, you're not helping, Discord." The god of chaos cackled with glee, before noticing Celestia's icy stare. He quickly shrugged and adopted an apologetic look that disappeared when the princess turned her back.

"Secondly, I... honestly have no idea whether the bearers are alive or not. I can no longer detect their presence in Equestria, but I would not like to jump to any conclusions, as the evidence for either side is inconclusive."

"What do you mean, 'inconclusive?'" inquired a lavender blue pegasus with a golden mane, her eyes locked onto Luna's posterior.

The princess of the sun shuddered before answering. "What remains of the bearers—which is very little, mind you—could be interpreted in two different ways. First, they may have perished in the rapids, which is supported by an emerald necklace recovered by Seapony Team 4 and several apples. However, the wielders may have also survived, as the seapony team was unable to find any trace of the Mane Six's bodies."

Celestia sighed, lost in thought. "There are a couple of things that neither my sister nor I can determine. The first was spotted on the shore near the river. A few shards of glass were located after Luna noticed light glinting off of the coast. The second is more puzzling; a plank of wood, cut in half, was found submerged in the mud of the river. Judging by the quality of the wood, it could not have been underwater for more than several hours."

Addressing the mare again, Celestia's voice took on a humble tone. "I'm sorry I cannot be of more assistance, but—"

The mare in question interrupted Celestia by snorting loudly and sitting up, apparently having fallen asleep.

"Land ho! I'm awake!"

Luna sidled up to her sister. "We... I... think it's about time we finish this, dear sister. Our little ponies are getting restless, and it is nearly time for... me... to raise the moon."

Surprised, Celestia glanced up at the sky, now light yet rich shade of indigo. Nodding in accordance, Celestia cleared her throat once more.

"My little ponies, it is getting late. I have no desire to further trouble you this evening, and I advise all of you to not be worried about the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Rest assured, the Elements themselves still remain here, in the royal vault. If necessary, and only as a last resort, my sister and I can harness the power of the Elements to thwart any danger to Equestria."

Celestia yawned and cracked her neck. "I officially declare this meeting adjourned. Thank you for attending."

As the crowd gradually thinned, Luna took Celestia aside for a moment. "You did well, sister. I must admit, I was doubtful of your capabilities to convince these ponies. Not to mention that blue lavender pegasus..." Luna suddenly giggled. "Did you notice the manner in which she-"

"Yes, Luna. It was a bit... disturbing, to say the least." Celestia rolled her eyes. "Nevertheless, I'm glad that you think I did alright. I was very nervous about the bearers' situation."

"Just remember," interrupted a male voice, "that I broke the tension."

"That is utterly untrue, Discord," groaned Celestia.

"I must agree with you, sister. It only served to agitate the crowd."

Chaos incarnate chortled with delight. "It did, didn't it? That's good, you know. I was becoming quite bored with your speech, Celestia." He smirked and continued. "And you know that every word I said was true."

"To a degree," admitted Celestia. "But you could have been much more... oh, what's the word...?"

"Diplomatic?" suggested Luna.

"Mature," said Celestia to Discord, who merely laughed and zoomed back inside the palace.

Celestia watched him leave, and a sigh escaped her lips. "I truly worry about his mental state at times."

Luna chuckled. "Fear not, sister. Though Discord is a... very unique creature, that does not mean that he has only malice and chaos inside him." She rolled her jaw before speaking again. "Think about it like this: If I gave you the power to eat as much cake as you want-"

"Luna!"

"-you might get a stomachache and view me as evil for casting this spell on you," Luna continued, ignoring the interruption. "But if I also gave you medicine to help alleviate your cramp, the two acts would nullify each other, correct?"

After thinking for a moment, Celestia nodded. "Of course. Continue, sister."

Luna smiled. "Ever since he was reformed, Discord has followed the same path. Verily, he occasionally gets up to his old tricks, but now he takes responsibility for his actions with usually nothing more than several complaints. Those two actions together show that while he is far from perfect, he is learning and gaining in mental stability.

Celestia blinked. "You're right, Luna. I should not focus on Discord right now." She sighed, thinking of six ponies, some of the best ponies and friends that she had ever met over the course of her lifetime. One by one, they faded away, revealing the night behind them. Looking up, she could almost make out their shapes among the stars.

"Is something troubling you, sister?" asked Luna, the slightest hint of concern in her face.

"N-no, nothing at all, sister," replied Celestia quickly.

Luna stared at her for a moment, then spoke again, a triumphant smirk on her face. "You've always been a horrible liar, sister. Tell me what is plaguing your conscience."

Defeated, Celestia slumped and sat down. "Though you may think me foalish for saying so, as you just told me otherwise, I do not believe that some of those ponies believed my story about Twilight and her companions."

Luna nodded. "Understandable, sister. Do you wish to discuss this more?" Celestia nodded, and the pair headed inside.

Neither looked back.

Cluster W: I

I

"Git along, little dogie!"

"I have a mother, don'tcha know!"

Apple Bloom flushed, embarrassed by her mistake. "Heh, sorry." She watched as the not-orphaned calf hurried on home to its mother, then turned back to her farm.

Her farm.

The yellow mare felt a surge of pride at calling Sweet Apple Acres her own, though she still felt as though her big sister should be running it, what with Big Mac on his honeymoon in Las Pegasus. She giggled at the thought of her relatively silent brother and former schoolteacher going wild at the casinos, watching bits pouring out in buckets from the slot machines.

Wiping the sweat from her brow and trying her best to ignore the heat of the midday sun, Apple Bloom cantered over to the west field, checking to see if the trees had started to produce the beginnings of apples. Wandering across the fields and noting the small, hard green apples and the late buds, a happy thought crossed Apple Bloom's mind. Summer was here.

Not just summer, either, not this year, but the epitome of summer, high green perfect central Equestria dead-smash in the middle of August, white sun glaring out of that fabled faded azure sky, the sound of foals shouting back and forth at the top of the hill, the clink! of bits from the open market on the other side of the town, the sound of trains, the sound of hoofball scrimmages in the park, and surrounding everything like an auditory edging of lace, the soothing, silky drips of watering cans. Summer in Ponyville, oh boy, can you dig it.

It was still too early for apple bucking, but Apple Bloom could wait. She'd grown up and matured a lot since her days as a schoolfilly. Stubborn as ever, of course, but more patient than she had once been. Instead of going into town, Apple Bloom surprised herself by going back inside the farmhouse where Granny Smith—old as always, but hardly feeble—was waiting for her with a lemonade, chilled and with a twist of apple.

Smiling her thanks at the green earth pony, Apple Bloom took a sip, quite tentative at first, before grinning widely and downing the entire glass. The tartness of the lemonade made her mouth pucker, but refreshed her all the same. The apple twist (just how she liked it: zesty) added a much needed sweetness to the drink, leaving Apple Bloom craving more. She knew better than to drink too much of that particular beverage, however, so she waved to Granny Smith and trotted out of the house. After thinking for a moment, she turned and headed for the library.

Summer yes, but not just summer; this was August 15th, the highest point of summer, in an Equestrian town where most foals go to watch hoofball games and participate in the Summer Reading Program at the Books and Branches. One pony in particular was busy sorting a fairly sizable stack of brand-new books, arranging them how her mentor had shown her: alphabetical by subject.

Sweetie Belle had long questioned why the pages of information were not placed by author, but when a certain pink mare had shown up a few months ago, Twilight had pointed out that Pinkie was able to find everything perfectly when arranged by subject, and Sweetie, ever so polite, had complied with little complaint.

Those days were gone, but nothing had really changed since the sudden absence of the Mane Six. Sure, it was quieter without Twilight lecturing or Pinkie being her usual boisterous self, but it felt good to have a clear head for once. Sweetie knew all too well that if Twilight were here, she'd be trying to rope the younger unicorn into some new technologically advanced project.

Her ears perked up when a knock came from the door.

"It's open!" Sweetie Belle called. "Believe it or not, this is actually a functioning library now," she murmured to herself, chuckling.

The front door swung open to reveal a sweaty Apple Bloom, adjusting her faded bow. "Howdy, Sweetie Belle! How ya doin'?"

"Oh, you know," replied Sweetie, shrugging. "Pretty well. Shelving books and all that. How about you?"

"Not bad, still waitin' fer Applebuck season to start. I'm gettin' a bit antsy."

They shared a laugh at Apple Bloom's expense. "You? You're one of the most patient ponies I know."

The earth pony grinned. "Well, even Ah get a little on the impatient side every now and then. Anyway, Ah wanted to ask you somethin', if ya don't mind."

"Shoot."

"You were at the Princess' speech thing, right?"

"Of course... why?"

Apple Bloom's smile was completely gone, replaced by a look of grim seriousness. "Well... did ya get the feelin' that maybe she wasn't tellin' us everything she knew? When she talked about the glass and wood, Ah reckoned she knew a hay of a lot more than what she let on."

Sweetie Belle slowly nodded. "I'm glad I wasn't the only one who got that feeling. I've had a constant nagging, an insatiable feeling that Twilight and the others..." She paused to take a deep breath before continuing. "That Twilight and the others are still alive."

Thankfully, the floor of the library was enchanted to prevent it from taking damage, as Apple Bloom's jaw hit it pretty hard. "Surely... you can't be serious!"

"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley," replied Sweetie Belle, a brief smirk gracing her features. Apple Bloom facehoofed.

"How can you say that, Sweetie Belle? There's no way in Tartarus that they could've survived those rapids!"

"Actually, there are several ways to avoid danger while falling from a high altitude. The first only works if you're a pegasus, and deals with catching thermal updrafts in order to-"

Apple Bloom pretended to yawn loudly, earning her an annoyed look from an embarrassed Sweetie Belle.

"What I'm saying is that there are multiple scenarios that could have played out depending on what Twilight and the rest of the group had in mind."

"You mean if they wanted to make it look like they-"

"Exactly."

Apple Bloom was stunned. Slowly, she sat down and tilted her head to the side, thinking about Sweetie Belle's theory. After a while, she looked at her old friend. "Ah think you might be on to somethin', Sweetie." She cracked her neck. "But still. What are we gonna do about it?"

Sweetie Belle smiled. "I've already come up with a plan to find my big sis and the others. You know how I've been training Dinky to run the library?" The earth pony nodded. "Well, I got her to run the library for the next few weeks as part of her training."

"Is it actually part of her trainin'?"

"No," said Sweetie Belle with a devious smirk on her face.

Apple Bloom laughed. "Alright, but what about me? I've got a farm to run!"

"Way ahead of you. Braeburn had offered to help take care of Granny Smith and watch the farm a while back, remember? I took him up on his offer, and he should be here by tomorrow."

Surprised, Apple Bloom stared at the unicorn. "You've really thought this out, haven't you?"

"Fully. I had a great teacher, so that helped too."

"What makes you think I'd want to tag along, Sweetie Belle?"

"It's better than sitting around on the farm and watching apples grow, isn't it?" asked Sweete Belle pointedly.

The earth pony flushed, embarrassed. "Well, when ya put it that way..."

Sweetie Belle merely smiled. "Come on, you silly filly. I need to meet somepony to get some supplies and other assorted... things for the trip."

The two ponies, the best of friends, walked out the door of the library, not bothering to lock the door behind them.

Oh gosh, it was summertime, summertime, sum-sum-summertime, and in Ponyville the living was easy. Sugarcube Corner was booming as usual, and near Carousel Boutique, a mint green unicorn shivered in the heat and clutched an onyx instrument closer to her body. Davenport was standing in front of Sofas and Quills, hawking wildly to the passerby to buy one cotton-filled sofa at a low, low price and get two quills absolutely free (ink sold separately).

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, though tempted to take a quick peek, opted to continue on to their destination, a run-down chariot garage. The corrugated aluminum siding had once been a light navy, but was now reduced to a pale blue with spots of rust. Faded letters above a wide door read "Mr. Sweeney's Carriage Body Shop."

Sweetie Belle approached the door, knocking loudly. A few seconds later, a voice rang out. "Come in, come in!"

Gesturing to Apple Bloom, Sweetie entered the garage. Glancing up, she noticed a single lantern illuminating an otherwise dark and dreary atmosphere. Apple Bloom coughed at the dust her hoofsteps kicked up, shooting a questioning glance at Sweetie Belle, who had stopped suddenly. The unicorn pointed with her hoof at a moving blue shape towards the back of the garage. After a little while, the shape backed up, holding a screwdriver in its teeth. Apple Bloom realized that it was a pony, apparently fooling around with some mechanical contraption or another.

After looking at Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom started to trot towards the blue pony, who upon closer inspection turned out to be a mare.

"Screw!" Sweetie Belle called out.

The blue mare looked over her shoulder and stared, confused, at the pair of ponies approaching her.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"It's me, Sweetie Belle. Oh, and my friend Apple Bloom."

The yellow earth pony stretched out a hoof. "Howdy."

Screw Loose looked at the hoof, then bumped it once from above and once from below before slapping it. Wincing slightly, Apple Bloom withdrew her hoof as though she'd been burned.

"Ow!"

"What?" asked the blue mare innocently. "Are you alright? What happened?"

Apple Bloom gaped at her. "You just hoofbumped me really, really hard."

"Hmm... nope, I don't remember that. Who are you, again?"

"Apple Bloom! Sweetie Belle just told you that!"

"Sweetie... that sounds familiar..."

Apple Bloom looked ready to explode. Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, had watched the entire situation while trying to hide an enormous grin from spreading across her face. She eventually decided that it was time to bring a halt to the cheeky and fun shenanigans.

"Screw Loose, righty-tighty."

The blue mare recoiled as if struck by lightning, then stood stock still for a moment. She then looked up at Sweetie Belle,  her eyes widening in recognition. "Sweetie! How ya doin'? I haven't seen you in forever!"

The unicorn chuckled. "Well, thanks. Yourself?"

"Ah, same old, same old. You know how it goes. Tinkering, eating, tinkering, sleeping... more tinkering."

"Same old Screw Loose," said Sweetie Belle with a laugh. "Have you met my friend Apple Bloom?"

"Of course she h-" The indignant mare was cut off by a look from Sweetie Belle, who shook her head.

"Pleased to meet you, Apple Bloom! Any friend of Sweetie is a friend of mine!" The blue mare hoofbumped the yellow mare gently before resuming her focus on Sweetie Belle. "So, what can I do for you, Sweetie?"

The unicorn looked to the left, to the right, and behind her before answering in a whisper. "Apple Bloom and I are going on a... rescue mission of sorts. You remember Scootaloo?" The blue mare nodded. "We're meeting up with her later. Anything new you have—that works, mind you—would be much appreciated."

The blue mare frowned. "Why should help you? You haven't even told me what this mission of yours is."

Sweetie Belle groaned. "Look, it's secret, okay? Not even Scootaloo knows yet."

"I thought you said you were meeting up with her later," said Screw Loose, confused.

"We are. She just doesn't know it yet. Apple Bloom and I are going to make... quite the entrance, for better or for worse." Sweetie Belle sighed. "Screw, I'm calling in a solid you owe me."

Screw Loose threw up her hooves in defeat. "What do you need?"

"Weapons and defense. What do you got that works?"

The blue mare thought for a minute, hooves on her head. Suddenly, she gave a sly smile. "Let me think..."

Cluster W: II

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Applejack Learns to Play the Banjo

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Just Ribbin' Ya (rough draft)

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After the Game

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Ode to Change

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With Apologies to Nonagon

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