It was a beautiful day in the Ponyville, and the world sang a song of beauty and intelligence. It was always a happy day like now, because in Ponyville, there was never a violent or anyone dying, because everyone was happy and LSD.
One day all of this good changed suddenly to bad. This happened because a pony, for the first time in eons, for reasons unknown, became died. “OW!” Yelled Silveface, a unicorn, and then he exploded.
“OH SHIT!” Yelled Princess Celestia, and she flew back to her castle home place and hid so she wouldn’t die like Silverface. She then called upon her six most trusted minions to defend her... The Justice League!
“No, screw you Princess Celestia, we have to save people that actually matter, so no ponies or Jews.”
Princess Celestia cried a lot because the words hurt her like a knife or maybe a gun. She was not only a pony, but also Jewish, so she had been hurt a lot. She sadly called upon six other ponies that are probably pretty useless but may be able to help.
A short time later, at Twilight Sparkle’s secret underground tree, the Elements of Harmony met to discuss how to avenge Silverface and prevent future random, unpreventable explosions.
“Our name sucks.” Rainbow Dash yelled in angry. “We aren’t Harmony if we’re killing something.”
“But we aren’t killing anything... Are we?” Fluttershy whined like a bitch.”
“Oh my, yes.” Twilight said. “Odds are, we’re going to have to kill many things.”
“Yay!” Pinkie was happy because she’s always happy, also she likes killing.
“I think we should call ourselves the Elements of Badassery.” Dash suggested.
“Fuck you!” Applejack said in her southern accent. Her accent on the show was a censored version of a real southern accent, because everything southern people say is offensive. “I don’t like Blacks.”
“Applejack has a point Rainbow Dash, that name is gay. How about the Elements of Ownage.” Rarity said, only because she hasn’t said anything else and is actually kinda useless in this story.
“Okay, this meeting of the Elements of Ownage is now in order. Pinkie, have you figured out what’s been causing the explosions yet?”
“YES! It’s Gummy!”
“WAHT!?!?!” Everypony whatted so hard that the underground tree began to burn so they had to all jump on Twilight’s back and she flew them out of the tree in the knick of time before it exploded in a hailstorm of rainbow and acid and death.
“But yeah, Gummy did it.”
“HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME!!!???!?!!?” Gummy raged, somehow speaking. He then pulled out his Fuck You ray and shot Pinkie with it, causing her to explode.
“PINKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!” Yelled Fluttershy, but since she’s so quiet and annoying, nopony heard her.
“PINKIE!” Shouted Rainbow Dash, and since she’s loud and obnoxious, everypony heard her, but nopony wanted to.
“ASSMUNCH!” Yelled Applejack. Somehow, her words were a consollation to everypony’s soul. Then they ran fast away so that Gummy couldn’t explode them to death like Pinkie and Silverface.
Twilight casted awesome spell that made them all be able to stand on clouds and they ascended to Cloudsdale by ripping off Fluttershy’s wings and using them to make a flying machine. “:(“ said Fluttershy but she didn’t complain because she is too nice.
“ALRIGHT!” Rainbow Dash flew into the weather factory. A few minutes later there was a nuclear explosion of rainbowy goodness. Then there was rain of light blue feathers implying that Rainbow Dash had just died.
“What the hell did she do that for?” Twilight wondered but didn’t actually care because she hated that bitch.
“Guys! I made a dress!” Rarity said as she put on the dress she made.
“Good job! Now we can definitely defeat Gummy!” Pinkie said happy.
“NO!” Twilight angered. Juts then there came from behind them both a sound. When they turned them, they saw that Gummy was there now flying.
“I took Silverface’s wings when I killed him, now I kill you too!” And he shot Fluttershy and she exploded but no one really cared.
“NNOOO!O!!!” Everypony in all of Equestria screamed at the same time lolwut the fuck is that how does that even happen? Then Rarity and Twilight cowered as Gummy killed Pinkie and Applejack.
“FUCK ASIANS!” Yelled Applejack as she died.
“I AM SO ADDICTED TO METH!” Yelled Pinkie as she died.
“Wait...” Twilight waited and thought. “Wasn’t Silverface a unicorn?”
“Oh cock.” Gummy cocked. Suddenly, Gummy exploded into a violently plothole that sucked in all of Equestria. It was like watching a Michael Bay movie or playing Heavy Rain.
Inside the plothole, life went on. Silverface and Gummy were both removed from existence, and Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash and Applejack came back to life. The yellow one didn’t though. Thank Celestia.
“Twilight I am proud of you a lot.” Princess Celestia honored Twilight because she had pretty much saved the entire of the world.
“I couldn’t have done it without my friends. Loljk they were useless I don’t like them anymore.” And Twilight flew away.
“What a bitch.” Princess Celestia sighed. “You, Pink one, you are my new First Prime.”
“Don’t you mean student?”
“No.” Celestia’s voice was deeper and her eyes glowing because she was now a Goa’uld (You know, those parasite things from Doctor Who.)
“Oh shit!” Pinkie Pie shat and also flew away also.
“I’ll save us!” Rainbow Dash flew up and kicked Celestia but it did nothing and she shot zappiness at Rainbow and it hurt. “Ow.”
“YOU POLISH ASSHOLE!” Racist Applejack raced all over Celestia but she didn’t even do it. Applejack flew to her death and didn’t even know why or how because the narrator was being too vague. Some more things happened, and then one big thing happened. Then some really cool action and cameos happened.
“Twilight, I’m glad you came back and helped us save the world.” Magneto thanked Twilight.
“You’re welcome!” Said Edward Cullen because he thought Magneto was talking to him get it? Then Magneto killed Edward Cullen and a bunch of teenyear old girls screamed but others were happy.
“I’m Harry Potter lol!” Harry Potter Pottered but it wasn’t Harry Potter it was Twilight Sparkle.
“Lolno, you’re Twilight Sparkle.” Magneto laughed and everyone else did too lololololololol.
Their laughter echoed across the world, harmonizing the song of beauty and intelligence to ring free through the inside of the plothole. However, all was not peaceful forever and happy like they began to think a little. The world was already still in grave danger because of the Evil!
You may ask yourself “Lolwut Evil?” The Evil is a terrifying scary thing that is horrible and evil and probably scary! It is takes the form of whatever it kills and slaughters.
Just as anyone would expect, Fluttershy did actually come back to life too, everyone just chose to ignore her forever. She wandered sadly through Sugar Cube Corner because that’s what she decided to do when suddenly OH MY GOD THE EVIL! BOOSAMA BASH BANG RRAAAWWWWRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! That’s about what it sounded like. The Evil killed then slaughtered Fluttershy it was a horribly vague and gruesome and painful manner. It would have been hot to any masochistic furries.
“WHA HA HA AHA AHA AHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA” Evil Fluttershy laughed. “I killed and slaughtered Fluttershy and now I AM Fluttershy!”
Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were partying alone because the others were busy and there was booze alcohol. “I love drinking alcohol” Twilight drank.
“Me too!” Pinkie... Pinked.
“Hello!’ Fluttershy came in all ugly and stuff. “Look at how Fluttershy I am.”
“Shut up, nopony likes you.”
“What!?” EVIL thought inside of Fluttershy. “I am stuck in the body of some quiet bitch who nopony likes and has bad breath and is afraid of dragons and bad at sports!”
“Get out of here, no booze alcohol for you!” Twilight ragered.
“No, we have to be nice to her because she’s a good pony.” Pinkie smiled because she liked everypony and everypony liked her.
“Everypony likes her?” The Evil thought, after somehow hearing the narrator say so. “Pinkie...” Fluttershy spoke through her voice. “Can I show you something in private?”
“Okay!” Pinkie was drunk as hell. So she followed Fluttershy outside into the dark and rain and lightning.
“WHA HA HA HA HA I’M EVIL!” Fluttershy revealed the truth and assaulted Pinkie. Pinkie didn’t care because she was too happy and drunk and loved everything even Evil. After Evilshy killed her and slaughtered her, the Evil became Pinkie Pie. So like, Evil Pie.
“Twilight I’m back.”
“Hi Pinkie I rike you ror I’m Asian.”
“You aren’t.” Evil Pie objected and pulled out her shooter death ray of evil (SDRoE) and shot Twilight with evil and death.
“Stop right there Evil!” Announced Princess Luna who decided to make a random cameo. She pulled out more guns and shot at the evil but the evil shot back so they jumped around shooting and dying but living sometimes until it all was soon to end because the bullets ran out and Evil Pie was hit by a bullet and died and the evil was defeated and Magneto and a bunch of other things that are too graphic, boring, or incomplete to be officially added to this story.
“For the second time today, a bunch of shit happened and I remember nothing!” Twilight.
Also, it turned out that Silverface WAS the Evil, and he faked his explosion to confuse everyone then entered Fluttershy and Pinkie but were all killed.
THE END LOL
