Cosmic Dust

Silence. The absence of sound. It might induce feelings of pleasure, relaxation, even. You can just close your eyes and imagine an infinite void surrounding you. In that void, nothing exists, just you. All the worries of this life, all the problems that keep coming to torment your soul, they vanish, along with the vastness of the universe. And, for a fraction of time, you truly are at peace.

But suddenly, a flash of light ignites in the dark, holding forms and colours beyond understanding. The ethereal brilliance captivates your attention. You feel its warmth caressing your naked skin, and for the first time in this world, you can truly see yourself. Unfortunately though, all flames fade away with time, no matter how strong. The light becomes smaller, its fiery flares extinguishing into nothingness. You reach out a hand, trying to hold it. Why do you yearn for it? In all that time, you were content with yourself, why would such a momentaneous event cause such attachment?

You realize then, that you know what the light is. It has been there for as long as you have existed, yet it was never given proper value, always being taken for granted. Only now that it threatens to disappear you acknowledge its existence. Your hand wraps around it, strings of light escaping from between your fingers. You feel one last burst of heat, one last comforting embrace. And then, nothing. The light is gone. And this time, you cannot truly see yourself, and what was a plane of meditation, is now a sea of darkness.

        ‘They’re dead... my mothers... I killed them...’

        ‘What? Jake, no! It’s not your fault!’

        ‘If I hadn’t betrayed my friend... If I had had the courage to stand up for myself...’

        Jake whimpered, hugging himself on the floor, between the seats. The tears wouldn’t come, he felt too weak, as if someone had pulled the carpet from under his feet, leaving him in shock. ‘It should have been me...’

        ‘Don’t think that!’

        Jake finally snapped. “Stay out of my head!” he screamed, pushing himself up to the seat, attempting to regain his composure. For a moment he had forgotten his new companion had the ability to probe into his mind. “Just... leave me alone.”

        “I understand how you feel...” Dust rested a hoof on his shoulder, trying to act as supportive as possible. He quickly shook it off though.

        “You do NOT understand, how could you? You just came out of nowhere blasting in, ruining everyone’s lives!” he yelled, his voice changing into a more aggressive tone.

        Dust looked down, willing to take the blame. “I... I know, and I’m sorry, just.... stop it!” she finally stepped up. “This won’t do you any good. I understand how I influenced this chain of events, and am already paying the price. But if you think that isn’t enough, please, dish it out on me.” She looked determined.

        Jake grunted, turning away from the pony, staring outside the deck window. Earth slowly spin in place, receiving sunlight across its surface. For the first time, Jake could see the effects the last two centuries had on the planet. He knew it through books, stories, school. But never he would have thought of seeing it with his own eyes.

        Massive shades of brown tainted the atmosphere, covering the surface with radioactive poison. Thunder stormed occasionally in random areas, so strong that they could be seen from space. And in small bubbles distributed across the planet, safe areas where human communities still thrived, despite the horror waiting beyond borders. It wouldn’t last long though.

Every year, the clouds advanced a little more, every year, more and more people were forced to move further inside the cities. One day, eventually, humanity would pay the price. The thought somehow was... comforting. Jake would suffer just as he was now, or more, when the true end arrived. He had to look at the bright side of things. He had to focus on what mattered, and forget everything else.

        Calming himself down, Jake turned back to Dust. “Tell me about yourself.”

        “My...self?”

        “Yes. You know so much about me already, you’ve seen me,” Jake blushed, then quickly dismissing the thought as he realized ponies probably didn’t hold such taboos. “naked, in both senses of the word. I feel at a disadvantage here. Where you came from? Why did you come to Earth?”

        The pony stared at the flashing lights in the deck. “Ow, where do I even begin...” she pondered, brushing her mane out of her vision with a hoof. “I’m a unicorn, as you can see. I’ve never really had a home, but if I had to point one out, it would be the Strahl.”

        “The Strahl?”

        “Yes, Mother’s spaceship. Rarely would we spend long times inside it, but we travelled a lot.”

        “What did you do?” Jake asked, curiosity starting to kick in.

        “I was a... an explorer, I think. Mother made all the travelling plans. What planets to go, what ships to board. I used to question her choices, but eventually, I just went along for the ride.”

        Realizing he was about to learn amazing things, he asked “Other planets? How are things out there? Society-wise?”

        “Yes, I almost forgot your species is as ignorant as it gets to what’s out there.” she said, with a slightly mocking tone. “I wonder if the Council has something to do with it.” Jake opened his mouth to ask what this Council was, but Dust anticipated him. “The Council is a government composed by elected representatives of different species. Their seat of power lies in the Citadel, a city located in a planet close to the center of the galaxy. They have the final word in all decisions that impact more than one species...” She bit her lip. Jake wondered if she had any grudge on them.

        “Wow, I... that’s amazing! I mean, I believed there was life out there, but like this... That’s fascinating.” Dust chuckled as she saw the glimmer in his eyes.

        “You overestimate your species, you are the ones far behind after all.” she shrugged. “Anyway, that’s about it, you can see things for yourself when we get there, that is, if you want to go there.”

        “Where else would you have me go?” he asked. “There’s no place for me here anymore. And you’re the only one who can guide me, so you should call the shots.”

        She sighed. It didn’t feel right for her to make decisions that affected both after everything she did. “If you say so... Well, to start with I need a map...”

        “Wait, you didn’t answer me one question.” Dust gasped. She was hoping he would forget it. “Yesterday, or two days ago, I don’t even know anymore, I saw you falling from the sky in a bright light.” Dust looked away, feeling guilty of the effect that had in the body of the human beside her. “How did you end up here? Isn’t your mother worried?”

        The unicorn’s eyes shifted, trying to conjure up something to say. “I’d... rather not talk about it. It’s nothing special after...”

        “No. Tell me.” Jake’s eyes stared, unwavering. “As I said before, you know a lot about me, yet I don’t know almost nothing of you.”

        ‘Damn.’ she thought. ‘There’s really no way of escaping this, is there?’

        “No, there isn’t.” Jake replied, earning a surprised look from the pony as she remembered he could hear her too.

        She rubbed her eyes, revealing signs of being tired. “I... I had just returned from a journey with Mother. We were waiting outside the galaxy’s boundaries, for what reason? I’d like to know too. She... had been acting strange lately. Like she wasn’t herself. Every now and then, she’d talk like there were others around us, even though we were alone. And sometimes...” she gulped dry. “She’d scream at me. She never screams. She was always so gentle, so kind.” her eyes were filled with sadness.

        “Are you ok?” Jake asked.

        “Yes, I am fine.” she rubbed her eyes once more, this time to prevent the sadness to overwhelm her. “We went to the Citadel, to buy supplies. And the we headed off. And then... Then they took her.”

        “They?”

        “Yes. A group of beings made of light, I couldn’t really see who or how many they were. Perhaps three, or four. And their shapes... I can’t be certain, but I think they were ponies, just like me. And that’s strange, because there are no ponies outside of Equestria other than me and Mother.”

        “Equestria? Seriously?” Jake asked, fighting not to smirk at the ridiculousness of the pun.

        “Home to all ponies, according to Mother. They are ruled by two princesses, one called Luna, and other called...” She bit her tongue, and then said with a harsher voice “Celestia... I bet she had something to do with it. You see, the world that houses Equestria is just like Earth. Its inhabitants don’t know what lies beyond the skies. Yet their rulers, I’m sure they know. And they can use magic too. Only them would be able to board the Strahl, and... take Mother away from me.”

        “They kidnapped her?” he asked in dismay. He was now totally immersed in the narrative.

        “I believe so. And I think she knew. For years we had been on the run, yet she’d always call it “exploring”. And the things she said to me before disappearing... It was almost like a goodbye.” She shook her head. “Not almost, it was a true farewell.” Dust tried her hardest not to display weakness. “Can you believe that...” she bit her lip once more, this time to prevent saying something disgraceful. “Celestia, that she banished her own sister Luna to the moon? For nothing less than a thousand years?!”

        Jake’s mouth dropped. “A thousand years? How is that even possible? I’m no genius in biology but...” he stopped, reminding himself of his own situation. He stretched, starting to feel uncomfortable on the seat.

        Dust breath deeply. “But I have hope. I have hope Mother’s alright... somewhere. And so should you, Jake.” He looked at her in surprise. “You have spaceships for crying out loud. Not the cream of the crop, but still. You think a bullet wound isn’t treatable?”

        Jake pondered. It’s true that humanity’s medical prowess was commendable, still evolving even during the conflicts that recently threatened their existence. But then terrifying thoughts fell upon him. ‘If they survive... what will be of them? The General will still kill them, that’s for sure. Or not, instead he will... oh no.’ For a moment he wished for Mary and Rose to have died with the gunshot, unsure on how to feel about this possibility.

        Dust smacked him in the back of his head with a hoof. “Ow!”

        “Don’t. Don’t let those type of thoughts take over you. Have hope... that something positive will happen. Doesn’t matter if you’re lying to yourself, as long as it keep you going, it’s fine.” Dust advised, revealing wisdom in her words.

        Jake massaged his face, shaking his head. “You’re right, I can’t think like this. They wouldn’t want me to.” He took the moment to examine himself. He was still wearing the lab coat, and strangely for the situation he was in, he found himself missing the feeling of underwear. And shoes. Jake tried not to laugh at himself for his own ridiculousness.

        Dust smiled. She felt glad that he was pulling through, even though it was just a facade for the pain underneath his skin. Just like she was hurting, and yet didn’t truly show.

        Her train of thought derailed as she saw something through the deck window. She realized the ship’s lights were illuminating whatever lies ahead.

        “Jake?” she called out, shaking him with a hoof.

        “What?”

        Dust simply pointed forward. Ahead of them, a maze of debris approached at an alarming rate. “I think it’s a good idea for us to figure out how to navigate this.” she suggested with unintentional sarcasm.

        “Yeah, let’s do that.” Jake typed in the keyboard before him as fast as he could. After Rose’s show of dexterity, he felt like he was going too slow. He knew how to control the Mk. II, he had studied all about them while in the nirvana of his bedroom’s library. Yet he never actually applied his knowledge, and doing so was revealing to be harder than expected.

        The navigation interface required a lot of input, variables like speed, power, pitch, yaw, roll. All of them constantly updating, and hard to keep track off. Dust noticed what he was doing, and put her own hooves to work.

        The sea of waste drew closer.

        Jake was sweating, but he couldn’t afford to wipe it off. “Damn it, it’s just too fast! I can’t keep up!” Dust didn’t reply, she too was busy. Instead of trying to control the ship algorithmically, she searched for a specific button she was sure the ship had. At least she hoped.

        The closest trashed metal, the wing of an old warfighter, slowly passed by the ship.

        Dust’s eyes sparkled with hope as she found what she was looking for. ‘Thank you humans, for labelling everything.’. She hit it with her left hoof, and then grabbed the handles in front of her. Or she would, if she had hands. The realization that she couldn’t fully interact with this type of technology had her mentally face hoofing.

        “Jake, grab the yoke, now!” she called out, her breathing accelerating as a large missile approached.

        “Why’d I do that... Oh.” Now was the time for Jake to be disappointed with his own rashness. He was so focused on what he knew he forgot to think logically.

        Holding the sticks, Jake pulled them back as hard as he could, to decelerate the ship. Little did he know, that doing so would cause the ship to turn back with a sudden 180º maneuver. The speed increased, the metal wing they had just passed by becoming their new target. Once more, Jake pulled, this time to the right, to avoid the obstacle.

        While the ship had inertial dampeners, the sudden roll still had Dust feeling sick. The ship rolled twice, leaving a trail of smoke that dissipated just as fast as it manifested. Their speed had increased considerably. No longer just adrift in orbit, they were going in, fast, in the planet’s direction. Dust reached out a hoof, helping Jake to regain control. “Slowly.” she said. “These things are sensitive, never turn too hard unless necessary.”

        The heated atmosphere formed a red streak of light along the outline of the ship, several alarms going off as a result. “Pull up!” Dust alerted. “Slowly!”

        Jake did as she told, gradually pulling the yoke back, the ship’s nose turning up: He then released the sticks, allowing the ship to fly free into the void. After decreasing the speed in the variable interface, Jake let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Remind me to *pant* ask you before flying this thing.”

        “Agreed.” Dust quickly nodded, her eyes open wide.

        After going over the alarm reports, they concluded no damage was dealt to the spacecraft, much for their relief. The wasted power was already being recharged through solar power. Dust examined the three-dimensional map closely, trying to find anything remotely familiar. She was still shaken by their close call.

        “I got nothing.” she said, giving up. “This data is limited, there’s nothing here I can recognize.”

        “Damn.” Jake grunted. “Back to stage one then. What do we do?”

        “Well, I have no idea. What do you know about these planets in range?” the pony asked, while yawning from lack of rest.

        “The maps are this limited because they were never supposed to be bigger. The International Space Alliance wanted to reach Tau Ceti, and nowhere else.”

        “Tau Ceti?” Dust inquired, not knowing humanity’s terminology for astral bodies.

        “The closest system to mine that is theorized to hold life-supporting planets. It was with that goal that the ISA started the black hole experiment... and failed. I don’t know what they were thinking in creating a black hole. Sure, its gravitational pull is so strong near the center that with the right maneuver, and the right amount of power, you could slingshot at near-light speeds... But still, what a fool’s errand. They truly were desperate back then.”

        “You created black holes?” Dust asked in dismay. “Not even the Citadel possesses such technology, and if they do, it’s being kept secret! It’s inconceivable that you went that far but didn’t create proper ships!”

        “Don’t blame me, I’m just the last generation of a succession of morons.” Jake sighed. Dust shook her head, grinning.

        “Well, can we plot a course to Tau Ceti then? If it is habitable, then it’s probable that it has been colonized by the Council, if it doesn’t already have a civilization of its own.”

        Jake looked worried. “But what if it doesn’t?”

        Good point. And what if they arrived there, and found nothing. “We are out of options.” Dust concluded. “It’s this or nothing.”

        Jake nodded. She was right, they had to take a leap of faith. He then remembered something vital to the plan. “There is a small problem...”

        “And what would that be?”

        Jake typed in the keyboard, interacting with the map. A traced, green line was drawn, its origin on Earth, and its destiny on Tau Ceti. A number appeared in the corner of the screen. Dust flinched.

        “This is it. Tau Ceti is no less than 12 light-years away.”

        Dust looked desperate. “What is the max speed of this ship?” Jake looked grim.

        “It may take a couple of months to reach max speed by gradual acceleration and still prevent the engines from burning out, but... That speed would be slightly higher than half the speed of light. We’re talking 20 years, give or take.” Jake stopped to breathe, finally realizing the direness of what he had said.

        Dust’s breathing started to increase. “I got a basic idea of how much is a day in your planet... How much is a year?”

Jake gasped. “Over 360 days.” Dust was now almost hyperventilating. “Are you alright?!” Jake asked, holding her by the shoulders.

        “How can I be? Twenty years, twenty years in this ship, twenty years closed in this small... ship. That’s... that’s insane! I’ll be insane long before then!” Her eyes shifted back and forth, her hooves shaking even more than before. “What about food? Do we have anything to eat?”

        Jake’s face went pale as he completely forgot their most basic needs. “Do I still need to eat? Like I am now, I mean.” Dust simply nodded, not having the strength to formulate the words.

        Getting up from his seat, Jake walked back, over the trapdoor, and to the back compartment. There had to be supplies in here. Sliding the door aside, he entered a division not much larger than the deck. Two bunks, one on each side, held what Jake hoped to be beds that would allow him to rest. Instead, these were recipients with a glass visor to look inside. He felt a chill as these pods reminded him of coffins.

        At the back of the division, he found a couple ISA crates, labelled as foodstuffs. “I found it!” he shouted with joy. He could hear the pony jumping off her seat, trotting to the back room, her eyes shining with the tiniest bit of hope. Opening the crates was easy, the metal lock was easily disabled through an input code: “0 0 0 0 0”.

        Their hearts fell to the floor. “No... this can’t be...” Dust seemed to lose her strength, and lied on the ground as her legs gave up. Jake couldn’t help but cry. Hope was truly lost this time around.

        The crate was empty, just like the other one they opened afterwards. Once more, Jake couldn’t help but feel glad for his parents to have died back on Earth. Dying of starvation and dehydration had to be one of the worst ways to go.

        “Your mother... Rose...” Dust’s weak voice caught Jake’s attention. “She told me something, before we left.”

        Jake crawled up to her. “What? What did she say?”

        Rose typed as fast as she could on the terminal, trying to have the ship up and running. Dust trotted over to her.

        “Ma’am, I...”

        “There’s no time to talk, I have to get this done.” Rose interrupted.

        “I just wanted to apologize. I know words don’t cut it, but I won’t feel well with myself unless I apologize. Maybe that’s selfish, but in a way, everything we do is selfish in one way or another.” Dust found herself smiling as she remembered the argument with her mother. “I’m giving part of myself to keep your son alive, but still, I want you to know I regret... I regret everything I have ever done.” she whimpered, holding back tears. “I just lost someone who was special to me, and what do I do? This.”

        Rose kneeled down to her level, and hugged her, startling Dust. “That’s how life is. We all make mistakes, even without knowing they’re wrong until we do them. And there are things that simply can’t be avoided. But you face them, and become stronger. Mary taught me that much.”

        “It still doesn’t feel right.”

        Rose pulled back. “Tell you what, you will do something for me, and we’ll call it even.”

        “Anything! I’ll do anything!”

        “Take care of him.”

        The words that came out her mouth missed Dust’s expectations by a lightyear of distance. “What? Why should I... I mean, sure, I’ll do it, it’s just...”

        “I understand your confusion. You see, Mary and I are not going.”

        Dust put a hoof on her mouth, to stop her from shouting. “What? Why?!”

        Rose looked down, a bittersweet expression befitting her face. “We have our reasons. It’s all for Jake’s good. So please, be there for him. While you heal his body with your presence, appease his mind with your words. Our son is smart, he’ll know what to do.” Dust nodded, still unsure about the reasoning behind their decision. Rose chuckled. “It’s funny, we always thought Jake was meant to do great things... But alas, what parent doesn’t think the same of their son?”

        She caressed Dust’s mane, oddly putting her at ease, before pulling herself up.

“Alright, I’m done!” Rose said with a smile, signaling Dust into entering the ship.

        “Rose said that she trusts you, that you’ll know what to do. And even though I’ve only met her for such short time... I believe in her.”

        Jake stared silently at the pony, not even blinking. ‘They stood behind on purpose...’ Getting up, he examined the pods. “It’s got to have something to do with these, they are two in number, obviously they are meant for the pilot and copilot to sleep in. I wonder, however, if they can sustain a body.”

Dust’s ears perked up. She knew where Jake was going with this, at least she hoped. “Are you talking about crio-sleep?” Jake nodded in response. The flame of hope was ignited once more. Dust couldn’t help but admire the way he could come up with these ideas, while still mourning his loss.

The course was set. The autopilot would do any adjustments necessary in the journey in order to avoid obstacles. As a last resort, the system would awake the pilots. But that wasn’t a concern in Jake’s mind right now.

The pod felt... tight. He felt sad as the image of Dust cramped up inside the other pod came to mind, yet she didn’t complain. ‘Desperate times, desperate measures.’

‘Yes. Are you ready?’ Jake mentally asked, still confused about this type of communication.

‘Go ahead. I’m ready.’

In the side of the pod from the inside, Jake started the sleeping protocols.

Hypersleep initiated. Have a pleasant rest.

‘Sleep well.’ Jake reached out with his mind.

He got silence as a response. ‘Did she fall asleep already? Well, she isn’t human, perhaps she can sleep willingly, just like that. How useful would that be?’

‘To sleep for twenty years... how must it feel? Will I dream? Will I wake up after all that time, and have it hard to believe that the dream wasn’t reality? Or perhaps... I simply won’t dream. In my end, I’ll wake up right after falling asleep. That sure would be nice...’

The pod started to get cold, white mist filling the contained area.

‘Twenty years... Anna would have grown up. I’ll miss so many of her birthdays... She would even be older than me! Or would these years count? Bah, what am I doing. I’m about to freeze into a sleep and here I am, thinking nonsense.’

May your dreams pierce beyond the stars.

‘Is this truly what I want? Not that I have a choice, but... I always wanted to go... out there, but not this way. No, not at their expense.’

The pod’s walls started to become covered in ice. Jake was shaking all over, his breath horrifyingly visible in front of his face. His own breath felt cold. He couldn’t feel his extremities. ‘Ugh, I didn’t expect crio-sleep to be so... literal. How can Dust stand it? She probably has done this a lot in her travels.'

Jake close his lids, the cold hurting his eyes. He could feel his throat clogging up, the spaces between his fingers connected with bridges of ice. It hurt. It hurt alot. But in a different way than he was used to. It was the numbing feeling, being felt all over his skin, stinging like needles. He would have wished he had proper clothing, but he wasn’t thinking straight anymore. He was panicking.

Each breath felt heavy. His whole body’s surface ached, yet not his insides. These remained as if they weren’t there, numb like they were since his revival.

Jake snapped back into reality as he felt something crack. Fear took over him on a whole new level as the idea of his fingers breaking off his hands came to mind. He couldn’t open his mouth, he couldn’t scream. The ice was close, the once thin layer covering the walls now almost fully enveloping the human inside. Jake was right, this was a coffin. His coffin. His mind went blank, the brain finally giving up to the cold.

Hibernation successfully initiated. 21 years, 78 days, 3 hours and 38 minutes to reach destination.

Silence. The absence of sound. Earth was left behind, becoming a shimmering light in the distance, and eventually, not even visible anymore. The ship slowly floated across the celestial bodies, the stars becoming closer every second, yet ever distant. And for over twenty years, silence reigned inside the MK II, as it made its way to the system of Tau Ceti.