Team Fortress 2: Operation Friendship

by pinkiepie3232

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Adventure
Length: 12201

A TF2 crossover and a HiE story all in one!

After the death of Blutarch Mann and the destruction of the BLU team, the RED team finds themselves without anything to do, until an urgent plea from Princess Celestia drags them into the Pony-Griffon war. Can they work together alongside Twilight and her friends to win the war, or are they doomed to failure?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-18 01:35:57 UTC

A new mission

(Author’s Note: This is my very first fanfic, so any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Enjoy!)

Chapter 1

Redmond Mann sighed as he swirled his drink around in his glass. With the death of his brother Blutarch, he found himself devoid of anything to occupy his time with. He sat there staring at the wall when his secretary phoned him.

“Yes?” he asked in a bored voice.

“There’s somebody on line 1. A lady by the name of......Princess Celestia?” His secretary responded, slightly confused. Redmond brightened up immediately. Ever since his scientists had found ways to go between dimensions, he had been in contact with Princess Celestia of the land of Equestria, a world in which ponies were the dominant species.

“Transfer her if you please. Hello Princess, how might I be of assistance?” Redmond inquired.

“Hello Redmond, I’ve just been having a very rough week.” She responded in a weary voice.

“What seems to be the trouble?” He asked in a concerned tone.

“The war is going terribly. The griffins have already taken Stalliongrad, and they will reach Manehattan within the week at the rate this is going. My troops just aren’t strong enough to defeat them.”

“And what would you have me do about it?”

“You have said before that your team of mercenaries are the greatest team of warriors on Earth. I need your warriors to help me win this war.”

“With all due respect Princess, i see no reason for me to send RED team to help you win a war I have no part in.”

Celestia sighed. “I was afraid you would say that. In return, I will have my magicians grant you eternal life and youth.”

Redmond was taken by surprise by this. He could already theoretically live forever with the life extension machine built for him by Radigan Conagher, but it limited his activity. With eternal youth, he could do everything he used to be able to do as a younger man. “Celestia, you have a deal!” he responded excitedly. “I will have them in Equestria within a few hours.”

Celestia breathed a sigh of releif. “I am relived to hear you say that Redmond. I will expect your team soon. Good day Redmond”

“And to you as well Princess” said Redmond before hanging up. He then dialed up his secretary. “Secretary, have the RED team and in my office in 1 hour, and have the scientists fire up the inter-dimensional portal.”

“Yes sir”

Celestia was relieved. As much as she hated Redmond, his team of mercenaries was the only real hope she had left of winning the war. She turned to the nearest guard and said “Send a carriage to Ponyville to pick up Twilight Sparkle and her friends.”

“Yes Princess.” he replied, going forth to carry out his order. Celestia got out a quill and a scroll and began to write a letter to Twilight:

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

As I’m sure you are aware, the war is going poorly. I have hired a team of mercenaries from Earth to help us, but I’m not certain it will be enough. Therefore, as much as it pains me to do this, you and your friends have all been drafted, along with Spike and Applejack’s brother, Big Macintosh. A carriage will be at the library to pick you up in one hour, be ready.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

Celestia sent her message to Spike, then sat down. It was going to be a long day.

Twilight Sparkle was in the midst of re-shelving when Spike came over with a letter from the princess. “Whats this about?” she asked herself as she opened the letter. She read it carefully, then dropped it and hung her head.

“Whats wrong Twilight?” asked Spike.

“I’ve been drafted to fight in the war. So have all my friends. And you as well” she said in a worried tone.

“What do you mean, Twilight?” he asked, panic creeping into his voice.

“The Princess has ordered us to join the military, and we have about an hour to get everything ready. I need you to get Fluttershy from her cottage, and Applejack and Big Macintosh from Sweet Apple Acres and bring them straight back here. I’m going to go get Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow.”

It wasn’t long before everyone was  assembled in the library. “Alright everyone. You are all gathered here on account of an order from the Princess. We’ve been drafted, all six of us, plus Big Mac and Spike are going to be picked up in an hour to go to Canterlot.” said Twilight. Around the room, everyponys faces  held an expression of shock, with the exception of Big Macintosh, who just raised an eyebrow.

“But what about my animals?” asked Fluttershy worriedly.

“And what about Granny Smith and Applebloom?” asked Applejack.

“I asked Zecora if she could watch your animals. And as for Apple Bloom and Granny Smith, Cheerilee agreed to watch them. Now get ready, the carriage will be here soon.” As if on cue, the carriage pulled up in front of the library. “Well” Twilight said nervously, “I guess its time to leave” They all slowly boarded the carriage, and it took off. The ride to Canterlot was a quiet affair. Fluttershy was curled up in a ball on the floor shaking while Applejack was trying to calm her. Twilight and Rarity just sat silently in their seats staring at the floor, while Rainbow Dash was giving a feeble attempt to look brave. Pinkie Pie had lost her normally jubilant attitude, and her mane was beginning to deflate. The only one who didn’t look worried was Big Macintosh, who just stared out into the sky. After what seemed like ages, they arrived at Canterlot. They all looked up at the castle.

“I reckon we’re here” said Applejack.

“Eeyup”

The RED team was gathered in Redmonds office awaiting their assignment. After the destruction of the BLU team, RED had found themselves with nothing to do, and were excited at the prospect of a new mission. Redmond cleared his throat and said “Gentlemen, I have an assignment for you. A friend of mine in a far off land called Equestria requires assistance with a war and your mission is to assist in the war effort.”

“Now wait just a darn minute!” exclaimed the Engineer. “Where in the hell is this ‘Equestria’ place?”

“You will find out soon enough” said Redmond with a small smirk. “Now, whenever you are ready, step through that portal over there. Once on the other side, you are to obey the one they call Princess Celestia. Have I made myself clear?” asked Redmond. The team nodded slowly. “Good” Redmond pressed a button and the portal opened up.

“I have bad feeling about this......” muttered the Heavy.

“Aye” replied the Demoman, as they shuffled towards the portal. One by one they stepped through, and were greeted on the other side by a large white pony.

Introductions

(Author’s note: I really appreciate the comments, and I will try to slow down the story a little.)

Chapter 2

Twilight and her companions exited the carriage and began the long trek to the castle. For a while, nobody said anything. Twilight was the first to speak. “So what do you guys think about all of this?” she asked quietly.

“Ah don’t know. Ah mean, Ah’m all for helpin’ out Equestria an’ all, but Ah just wanna be back at Sweet Apple Acres with Apple Bloom an’ Granny Smith. Ah know its only bin an hour or so, but it seems like ages. And Ah may never see them again” said Applejack, who was beginning to tear up.

“Eeyup” said Big Macintosh sadly.

“I dont know much about this war stuff, but it doesn't sound like much fun. said Pinkie Pie, her mane lying flat and her eyes staring at the ground.

“Its not so much me I’m worried about, its Sweetie Belle. I don’t know what would happen to her if i didn’t come back” said Rarity, tears running down her face.

“Rainbow, what about you?” asked Twilight.

Rainbow Dash wasn’t paying attention. “Huh? Oh yeah.... No I’m not scared at all.” she said, giving a very unconvincing smile.

“Rainbow, it’s ok to be scared, we all are.” said Twilight.

“Alright, fine. I’m scared to death, happy?”

Twilight decided not to press the matter. “What about you Fluttershy? Fluttershy?” The yellow pegasus was curled up into a ball crying her eyes out. Applejack walked over to her and gave her a hug.

“Its ok, sugarcube, we’re gonna get through this together.” Applejack said softly, patting her on the back.

Wanting to change the subject, Twilight said “The princess mentioned hiring a group of mercenaries from a place called Earth. I’ve never heard of it before. I wonder who they are.”

They arrived at the castle doors. “I guess we’re about to find out...” said Applejack.

RED team just stared at the pony. It appeared to be female, and she had a horn and wings. Her rainbow mane seemed to be constantly moving. For a while, nobody said anything, RED team had looks of shock on their faces, while Celestia had a slightly amused smile. The Engineer was the first to speak. “What in the hell is goin’ on here?”

“Welcome to Equestria.” replied Celestia, her smile broadening. “You are the RED team I presume?”

“Aye. And just who the bloody hell are you?” asked the Demoman.

“I am Princess Celestia, and I will forgive your rudeness this time, but in the future I will have to ask that you treat me with respect.”

“Mmmph mmph mmph mmph mph mphmphmphmph?” asked the Pyro.

“Excuse me?”

“He asked where and what is this Equestria.” ,translated the Spy, “A question all of us would like answered.” The Spy pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

“An excellent question. When you walked through that portal, you were not just going somewhere else in your world, you entered a completely new universe. In this world the dominant species are ponies, not humans. Didn’t Redmond tell you that?”

“Nein. All we were told is that we were going to a place called Equestria, and that we were to be placed under the command of you.” said the Medic.

“Now wait just one bloody second. Are you telling me that we’re gonna be working with a bunch of bloody ponies!?” exclaimed the Sniper.

“Yes, and don’t make me tell you again to be respectful” warned Celestia.

“Or what? What are you gonna do about it?” challenged the Scout.

Celestia frowned. Her horn began to glow and Scout was sent flying across the room and slammed into the wall. “That.” she stated simply. RED team looked at her in shock. “Alright, it would seem that we have to set some rules. Rule number one, you will treat me and all your superiors with respect. Secondly, you will not harm anything unless you have been given authority to do so. Finally, you will follow all orders without complaint. Have I made myself clear?” asked Celestia in authoritative tone. The RED team mumbled an affirmative. “I said, have I made myself clear?” she repeated louder.

“Yes ma’am” they all said.

“Good. Now medic, you should probably go check on Scout to make sure he isn’t hurt.” The Medic walked quickly over to the Scout and began checking up on him.

“So, what is first assignment?” asked the Heavy.

“Tomorrow you will be sent to Manehattan to help defend it against the Griffins.”

“What the hell is a Griffin?” asked Soldier in a gruff voice.

“Griffins are a combination of a lion and an eagle. They are very strong and very tough.” A royal guard walked up to Celestia and whispered something in her ear. “Ah, so they have arrived. Gentlemen, if you would follow me.” She led RED team into the entrance room. “RED team, I would like you to meet the ponies you will be working with.” She opened the door to revel 7 ponies and one small dragon.

Settling in

Chapter 3

Twilight and her friends were astonished at what was on the other side of the door. Standing before them were 9 strange looking creatures who walked upright on two legs. They were roughly as tall as the average pony, with the biggest among them roughly the same height as Celestia. “W-What are these things?” asked Fluttershy fearfully. The RED team shifted uncomfortably.

“These are humans. They come from another world called Earth, and they are who you will be working with.” replied Celestia.

“Yo, whats up?” said the Scout, extending his hand. Fluttershy recoiled in terror. “Whatsa’ matter with you?” The Heavy punched him in the shoulder. “Ow, what the hell was that for?!”

“Scout, stop!” said the Heavy.

“What? I was just sayin hi!”

“You are scaring little pony!”

“Uggh, friggen ponies......” Heavy hit him again. Big Macintosh looked at the Heavy. He was big and mean, and clearly a killer, but he saw a touch of friendliness in his eyes.

Celestia grinned a little. “Gentlemen, if you would follow my guard, he will show you to your sleeping quarters.” RED team followed the pony down the hallway. When they were out of sight, the princess said “Now, I’m sure you all want to know whats going on.”

“Who are they?” asked Spike.

“They are the RED team, an elite group of warriors I hired to help win the war.”

“Why do we even need them? We’ve got a strong enough military!” said Rainbow Dash

Celestia sighed. “A couple days ago, the Griffins took Stalliongrad. There were no survivors.”

“What!?! They took Stalliongrad? But that means.......”

“Yes Rainbow Dash, they managed to breach Stalliongrad’s defences, meaning that we are powerless to defend an attack on Manehattan. We need RED team if we are to have any hope of winning.” Celestia said sadly.

“Then why did you draft us?” asked Rarity.

“As strong as RED are, they are disfunctional. They don’t know the meaning of friendship. So you are going to show them how.”

“Great, so we’re gonna be babysitting a bunch of humans....” complained Rainbow Dash.

“Do not think of it as a chore. Equestria needs your help.”

“Consider it done Princess” said Twilight.

“Good. I have nothing but the greatest faith in all of you. Don’t let me down.” And with that, Celestia turned around and walked to her chamber.

RED team followed the royal guard into the sleeping quarters. They consisted of several bunk beds with chests at the foot of each bed and a table in the corner. “Much obliged” said the Engineer with a tip of his hat. The guard merely grunted and walked away. The team went forward to claim their bunks, leaving the Scout and Heavy to share a bunk. The Heavy reached for the ladder to the top bunk.

“Uh uh. No way fatso, I’m on top” said the Scout. The Heavy towered over him.

“What did you say?” he asked in a dangerously low tone.

“I...Um....uh...” Scout mumbled nervously.

“Is what I thought you said.” said the Heavy. He gave Scout a small shove and climbed onto the top bunk. For a while, nobody spoke. Heavy climbed out of his bunk and nudged Scout. He held up a deck of cards. “Want to play?”

“Alright, yeah.” he replied. They sat down at the table.

“Who else want to play?” the Heavy asked the room. Nobody had anything better to do, so they all sat around the table. The Heavy dealt the cards and they began to play. After about an hour, the princess came in to invite them to dinner.

“Go fish!” exclaimed the Demoman, his voice slurred with inebriation.

“Wrong game, cyclops.” said the Soldier.

“Yo Heavy, where’d you learn to play poker like that?” asked the Scout.

“I play in free time” he replied.

Celestia cleared her throat. “Gentlemen, I would like to invite you all to dine with me in the dining hall.”

“Alright! I’m freakin’ starving!” exclaimed the Scout enthusiastically.

“If you would follow me.” said Celestia. The RED team rose from their seats and followed her. She led them to a large pair of wooden doors. “Enjoy!” she said as she opened them.

Dinner

Chapter 4

RED team walked into the dining hall. All around were various statues, and the table was adorned with a white tablecloth and several bouquets with all varieties of flower. Around the table were 19 ornately carved chairs. Twilight and her friends were already seated, as well as a dark purple pony seated at one end of the table. Celestia gestured towards her. “RED team, I would like you to meet my sister and co-ruler of Equestria, Princess Luna.” The RED team all gave Luna short nods, then took their seats at the table. “Alright everyone, dinner is served!” decreed Celestia. Upon saying this, several waiters came out and placed bowls of salad at every one's places. The salads were made up of various flower petals. The ponies dug into their salads hungrily, but RED team didn’t quite know what to make of it. The Scout pushed the petals around with his fork, while the Medic took an experimental bite and spit it out immediately.  The Heavy just scowled at the plate.

“This is not food.......” muttered the Heavy.

“Excuse me? Is something wrong?” Celestia asked politely.

“With all due respect, Madame, we cannot eat this.” said the Spy.

“Humans don’t eat flowers?” asked Twilight curiously.

“Um, no.” said the Scout. “You got any meat?”

“Yeah, a steak sounds real good” said the Sniper.

“Um, whats meat?” asked Fluttershy quietly.

“Meat is....” began the Engineer, but he was stopped short by a glare from the Princess. “Nevermind.......”

“We do not have meat here, but perhaps there is another way we can accommodate you?”

“D’yall eat apples?” asked Applejack

“Jawohl.” responded the Medic. The princess called over a servant, and whispered something in his ear. He bowed and returned to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned carrying platters of apple pies. He set them down before RED team.  They all began to eat voraciously. Rarity watched the mercenaries eat. They were all complete pigs, getting food everywhere and forsaking any form of manners whatsoever. Except for the Spy. He was the only one trying to be civilized. He caught her eye, and gave her a small nod.

“So, Mr.Spy, what is it you do?” asked Rarity. The Spy opened his mouth to speak, but was cut short by the Heavy.

“That was DELICIOUS!” he exclaimed.

“A mighty fine piece of work.” agreed the Engineer.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. My, it is getting late. How about we call it a day?” said the Princess. Everyone agreed and began to go back to their respective sleeping areas. The Engineer looked back at the table and saw the mess he made.

“I feel kinda bad about makin’ such a mess. Lemmie clean it up.” he said.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I can just have my servants clean it up.” she replied.

“Naw, I insist. I made the mess, and its only fair that I clean it up.” he said.

“Well in that case, thank you!” she said. As the Engineer began to clean the mess up, everybody resumed walking back to their rooms. Applejack looked back. The Engineer seemed like an honest, hardworking individual. She decided to help him out and see if she could learn more about him.

“Mind if I help?” she asked.

“Alright, thats mighty kind of you.” he replied, happy to have somebody to talk to.

“So, uh, what exactly is meat?” she asked.

“Damn, the princess is gonna kill me for this, but alright. To be blunt, meat is the flesh of an animal.” he said. Applejack recoiled in shock.

“WHAT?! Y’all eat other animals” she cried in shock.

“Yep”

“Why?”

“I dunno, why do you eat flowers? We humans were just made that way.”

“But its wrong!”

“Well that there falls within the purview of your conundrums of morality. I ain’t here to discuss whether eatin’ meat is right or not.”

Eager to change the subject, Applejack asked “So, what’s yer job round here?”

“I build things.”

“Uh, like what?”

The Engineer went on to discuss the various machines he made, from the powerful Sentry gun, to the versatile Dispenser. Although she couldn't quite understand all of what he was saying, she found the conversation oddly intriguing.

“So what about you, Applejack, what do you do?” Applejack went on to discuss her life at Sweet Apple Acres, about her sister Applebloom and her Cutie Mark Crusaders, about her old Granny Smith, and about her older brother Big Macintosh.

“I grew up on a ranch. That was a long time ago, but I still miss the peace and quiet.” said the Engineer nostalgically.

“Then what happened?”

“Well, I worked in the oil fields for a while, there I earned enough money to go to college, where I got several degrees in science and engineering. Redmond came along, saying he needed someone with my skill and offered huge amounts of money. Before I knew it, I was on RED team.” he said. The Engineer yawned. “Damn, I was up much to late, I think its about time to turn in.”

“It was real nice meeting you Engineer.” said Applejack.

“Please, call me Dell.”

Extinguished

(Authors Note: Finally wrote another chapter! Sorry for taking freaking forever, I have developed a serious addiction to Fallout.)

Chapter 5

RED team awoke from their sleep. They all began to get ready for the day, except for the Demoman who was hung over from the previous night. The Medic walked over to his bed and kicked it. “Wake up, dumkoph!” The Demoman mumbled somthing, then pulled his pillow over his head.

The Heavy walked over. “Let me handle this.” he said as he grabbed the bedposts in his huge bearlike hands. He lifted up one side of the bed and dumped the Demoman onto the floor. He slowly stood up, screaming curse words loudly. The rest of the team broke out into peals of laughter, which only fueled the Demoman’s indignation. They made their way to the eating hall ,and after eating a quick breakfast of various apple based dishes, went into the throne room. They found Princess Celestia and the rest of the ponies waiting for them.

“Ah, hello RED. I trust you all slept well?” greeted Celestia. RED nodded. “Good. A carriage will be here to pick you up shortly. It will take you to Manehattan, where you will help the defence effort. Once there, you will be taking orders from General Jackhammer. Am I understood?”

As RED team nodded in agreement, the Spy scanned the room. He noticed that one of the guards was inching towards the Pyro. The Spy began to draw his revolver from his suit. “Spy! What do you think you’re doing?!” exclaimed Celestia.

“I was-”

“No! There will be no drawing weapons in my hall!” she replied sternly.

“But-”

“NO! That is final!” The commotion allowed the guard to get close to the Pyro without being noticed. He drew a long silver knife and buried it into the Pyro’s gut. Ignoring his orders, the Spy drew his revolver and emptied 3 shots into the guard’s chest, causing him to fall over gasping for air. After being shot, the guard’s form began to shift, his hide turning from a dull grey into a jet black. However, this transformation was not noticed by the Princess as she used magic to fling the Spy across the room and began to choke him. There was a burning fury in her eyes. “GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON I SHOULDN’T KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!” she screamed. Gasping for air, the Spy managed to point a finger at the Pyro, who was clutching the knife and lying in a pool of his own blood. She released him immeadieately and rushed over to the Pyro. Everybody and everypony began to gather around him as he started choking.

“Out of ze way.” said the Medic, pushing everyone aside. He turned on his Medi-Gun and directed it at the Pyro. Nothing happened, although the bleeding did seem less profuse. “Zat is not good..... Heavy, bring him to zat table over there.”  The Heavy nodded and moved the Pyro onto the dining table. The Medic turned to the group. “Do any of you have any experience with medicine?”

“Well, Fluttershy’s always taking care of her sick animals, maybe she could help.” said Twilight. Upon hearing this, Fluttershy gave a small eep and hid behind a bench.

“Come on Fluttershy, quit being such a scardey cat! He’s dying over there and he needs your help! Your going to let him die because your afraid?” said an annoyed Rainbow Dash.

“Rainbow!”, Applejack exclaimed, “Don’t y’all talk to her like that!” Applejack then turned to Fluttershy and, in a softer tone, said, “Come on sugarcube, we need y’all. Y’all are the only one who can help the Medic. Whaddya say, can y’all do it?” Fluttershy gave a shakey nod, went over to the makeshift operating table.

“Good. Engineer, I vill need you to set up a dispenser and get ze organ synthesizer.” said the Medic.

“Gotcha” replied the Engineer as he went off to get the items.

“Organ synthesizer?” asked Twilight.

“Ah yes. It is an ingenious invention ze Engineer devised. You put a piece of ze organ you want to remake in, and within half an hour, you have a bigger, stronger copy of ze organ. It is how we were able to get hearts strong enough to withstand an Ubercharge. But enough of zat, i have a patient to save.” And with that, the Medic pushed up his glasses, snapped on his rubber gloves, and got to work.

“What are we dealing with, doctor?” asked Fluttershy timidly.

“Vell, other than ze stab wound, the knife appears to have been coated with a poison zat attacks ze heart. There are only two known poisons which can do this, ze first resulting in a much slower death over several days, and ze second only taking a matter of hours. I have both antidotes.”

“Then give them to him!”

“I wish it were so simple. If I give him ze wrong medication, it will kill him.”

“Then how do we find the right one?” asked Fluttershy worriedly.

“Well, ze only real way to tell is to wait five hours and see if he is still alive. You have a choice to make. Should we give him ze antidote to the second poison and risk death, or do we wait five hours and see if he is still alive?” asked the Medic somberly.

Fluttershy was taken aback by the proposition. She thought about it for several long moments. On one hoof, giving him the antidote would potentially kill him on the spot, but on the other hoof, if they waited too long, he may die anyway. A small nagging voice inside her told her she should give it to him. “Give him the antidote.” she said to the Medic.

“Very well. Inside my bag there is a syringe marked X-17. Could you get zat for me please?” Fluttershy retrieved the antidote and handed it to the Medic. He uncapped the syringe and jammed it into the Pyro’s neck. At first, nothing seemed to happen. Fluttershy saw a look of worry cross the Medic’s face, and she began to panic. Slowly, however, the Pyro’s breathing slowed, and his heartbeat began to stabilize.

“We did it” breathed Fluttershy, relieved.

“We are not done yet. The knife has damaged his stomach beyond ze abilitys of my Medi-Gun to heal it. We will have to transplant.” The Medic took a scalpel and made an incision down his midsection and pulled out the shredded stomach. At the sight of this, Fluttershy fainted. She was awoken by a needle entering her neck. “I can’t have you fainting every time you see an organ. If you are to help me in ze future, you need to learn to accept it.”

Fluttershy stared at the needle he injected her with in horror. “What did you give me?” she asked in a shaken tone.

“It was a minor stimulant to keep you awake. About a tenth ze strength of Adrenaline. Now come on, we have to make him a new stomach. While you were asleep, ze Engineer brought in ze Organ Synthesizer.” With that, he cut a chunk from the stomach and put it into the machine. “While we wait for a new stomach, we need to give him a blood transfusion. Go in my bag and get a package of blood marked O Negative.”

Fluttershy retreived the blood. They spent roughly half an hour giving him blood and  doses of antidote. The Synthesizer made a dinging noise. “Ah, ze stomach is done.” He removed it from the machine and put it where his stomach used to be. “Stand back.” He took his Medi-Gun once more and directed it at the Pyro. Right before their eyes, muscle and skin began to knit back together and by the time it was finished, there was no recognizable sign of an injury.

“H-How did you do that?” stammered Fluttershy.

The Medic smiled. “All in due time”

Buildin' a Sentry

(Authors note: These next few chapters all take place at the same time. Also, sorry for the delay, I was playing way too much Fallout again.)

Chapter 7

Celestia walked out of the meeting room. She walked down to the RED bunkroom and found them all waiting. “Is he alright?” she asked with genuine concern.

“We dunno yet.” muttered the Scout darkly.

Just then, the Medic walked in, accompanied by Fluttershy. “Good news! He has made a full recovery, thanks to my little assistant here.”

“Thanks mate.” said the Sniper.

“Yeah, we owe you one.” added the Scout. Fluttershy blushed.

“Yes, we all owe you a great debt. Is he in any state to be up and about?” asked Celestia. The Medic nodded. “Good! In that case, I want you all in the courtyard in twenty minutes. Bring all of your gear with you. Fluttershy, I want you to tell your friends the same.”

Twenty minutes later, everyone was gathered in the courtyard. “Now that everyone’s here, I have an assignment. Due to very fortunate circumstances, we have 3 weeks before the Griffons are fully mobilized. As such, I believe we should take advantage of this by training you to fight like RED. You will each be paired up with one of the team. The pairings shall be : Medic and Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Scout, Soldier and Spike,  Rarity and Spy, Applejack and Engineer, Heavy and Big Macintosh, Pyro and Derpy, Demoman and Pinkie Pie, and Sniper and Twilight Sparkle.”

Some, like Rarity and Applejack were pleased with their pairings, while others looked suspiciously at them, except for Big Mac, who was indifferent, and Spike, who was absolutely terrified. “You may all begin.” said Celestia. As they all trotted off to their teachers, Applejack went over to the Engineer.

“Well look at that! Ah’m guessin’ we’re gonna be work’n together now!” said Applejack brightly.

“Well, I reckon we are. But we gotta leave friendliness aside here. We got a lot to learn, pardner, and we ain’t got a lotta time to do it. Lets start with guns.” The Engineer pulled out a shotgun and a pistol

“Um, how the hay am Ah supposed to use that?”

The Engineer looked at it for a while. “That does present a problem. Lucky for you, its my job to fix problems. Wait here a spell.” He said as he went over to the workbench he set up for the training. After roughly half an hour, he returned with an odd looking device. “Alright, pardner, hook this ‘round your shoulder. Alright, now you put the handle of the gun into this here socket. To fire, bite down on this control.”

“Howd’ya make it so dang fast?”

“Miss, I’ve been doing this for years. If I can erect a sentry in 30 seconds flat, I sure as hell can make a shooting aid for ya. The problem is I don’t have the supplies to make a shotgun support, but I reckon you can make do with the pistol for now. I set up some wooden targets, take a few shots.”

Applejack made a few potshots with the gun. “This is a lot different than our guns”

“And just what is so different about your guns?”

“Well for one, they got mouthgrips instead of handles.”

“Anyways, you’re the worst damn shot I’ve ever seen, but that don’t matter too much. If you can build and maintain yourself a sentry gun, then you shouldn’t need to use it.”

“All that fancy machinery?!? Ah can’t do that!”

“Sure ya can. All it takes is the right know-how. Lets start with the Dispenser.” The Engineer walked over to the table and picked up a large tool box. “This here is relatively complicated to make, so I won’t have you buildin’ one from the ground up just yet. However, I do expect you to be able to set up one of the ones I have already made. Don’t worry, it ain’t rocket science. Darn thing practically builds itself.”

“Alright.” said Applejack, taking the toolbox. “What do Ah do?”

“First, put it on the ground and open it. There should be a little keypad inside, press the numbers 5934 and then Enter. That’s the security code to activate this here dispenser. Now I’m gonna tell you something, and you better listen good, cuz I ain’t gonna repeat it. This keycode unlocks this dispenser and only this dispenser. If you try it with any other device of mine, it ain’t gonna work. After numerous attacks from spys, I have had the devices rigged to explode if you get the key wrong.”

“Alrigh’. Then what?”

“Hit that blue button right there.”

She did so, and before her eyes, the dispenser began to rise from the toolbox. After about 30 seconds, the toolbox became a full-fledged dispensing machine. “That was amazin’! How’d y’all do that?”

“Go ahead, test it out.” Applejack went over to the dispenser, and pushed on the button marked with a red cross. She heard some whirring noises coming from within, then a small bottle of pills popped out of the slot. “Alright, now comes the fun part. We’re gonna make you your very own sentry from scratch.”

“Ah just set up mah first dispenser, which Ah had almost no part in. How d’yall expect me to build a sentry gun from nothing? Ah can’t do it.”

“Yes you can. Trust me, I will guide you through it. Here, take this.” he said as he gave her a wrench.

“Fine, how do I start?”

The Engineer guided her through the construction of the sentry gun. Whenever they needed a part, they went over to the dispenser. As Applejack built it, she began to understand how the whole thing worked. After several long hours of labor, they were finally finished.

“Now that there’s a fine piece of work.” said the Engineer. Applejack said nothing, but merely nodded. “Alright, just two steps left.”

“Whats that?”

“Paint it and give it a name.” With that, the Engineer went over to his supply table and got a crate of spraypaint cans out. Applejack painted it orange, and put 3 apples on the side. “Not bad, but it should have a name, don’t you think. What are you gonna call it?”

Applejack thought for a moment, and said “Apple Blossom.” She looked at the sentry with the same look a mother would give her child.

“I know that feelin’, missy. I felt it too when I first made Irene here. That there is the feelin of accomplishment. One thing to remember about sentry guns is that they are like children. Take care of ‘em and raise ‘em right, and they will be the most reliable things on the planet. But if you abandon and neglect it, its little more than a fancy piece of scrap. Come on, its late, we can work on it more tommorrow.” And with that, they returned to the castle for a good night’s sleep.

Be Efficient

Chapter 8

Twilight walked over to the Sniper. She was slightly apprehensive about meeting him. He seemed so distant and cold, and above all else, unfriendly. “Then again, I never anticipated ever liking anybody in Ponyville, but look where I am now. Maybe it won’t be so bad.” she thought to herself.

The Sniper looked her over for a few moments. “Whats your name?” he asked.

“Twilight Sparkle”

“Hmph” He turned around. For a minute or two, he said nothing. Then, without warning, he threw his kukri at her, which landed inches in front of her. “Lesson one, mate: Don’t trust anyone.”

Twilight stared at the sword in shock. “Y-You could have killed me!”

“Mate, if I wanted to kill you, you’d already be dead. Alright, what do you think bein’ a sniper is about?”

Twilight managed to regain her composure, but was still slightly shaken. “Um, is it about killing people with that gun of yours?”

“Wrong, mate. Its about perception. Its about patience. And above all, its about gettin’ them before they get you. Any bloke with a gun can kill somebody. It takes the right kind of person, a sniper, to be good at it. Now, lets get started.” He gestured towards his collection of sniper rifles. He picked up the first one, a simple rifle with a wooden stock and a brass scope. “This is your basic sniper rifle. You will use this during our training. We can get more advanced as you get better.” He looked at Twilight. “Hmm, that might be a problem...”

“What?”

“Ya don’t have hands, mate.”

“Oh, that’s no problem.” Her horn began to glow, and she then levitated the gun up next to her.

The Sniper eyed the magic with distaste. “Alright, mate, take aim at that plank over there, the one I painted a red crosshair on.”

Twilight lined up the rifle and took a shot, which completely missed her target.

“Mate, the thing has a scope for a reason”

“Um, yeah, sorry.” Twilight took aim again, this time looking down the scope. She fired another round, this time hitting just short of the plank.

“Better, but try to control your breathing more. Take a deep breath, and exhale. When your breath reaches the bottom of the exhalation, pull the trigger.”

Twilight took a deep breath. She exhaled and fired. The round hit the edge of crosshair on the plank. “I did it!”

“Not a bad job for your first time, mate, but you aren’t nearly good enough yet.” They spent the rest of the day practicing with the sniper. Twilight was becoming a much better shot, she managed to hit the target about fifty percent of the time. After a while, the Sniper noticed Twilight was fatigued from the hours of concentration used to levitate the gun. “How bout’ you give it a rest, mate.”

Twilight gratefully put down the weapon. “I sure am thirsty.” She noticed a jar full of a yellow liquid. She levitated it to her mouth and was about to take a sip.

“Wait! Don’t drink that stuff, mate.”

“Whats wrong with it?”

“You don’t wanna know...... Here, drink this.” He opened his pack and took out a canteen and tossed it over to her. She took several long draughts from the canteen. After she had finished, she asked, “So how is it you made it on the RED team?”

“Well, when I was a teenager, I dropped out of school. As you can imagine, not many people wanna hire a bloke without an education. Then one day, I met this man. He said he would pay top dollar for rare and exotic game found in the Australian outback. I was on the verge of starvation, so I went out in search of game. I was traveling for days with no luck, but then I found it: a massive emu.”

“Whats an emu?”

“Its a massive bird that can’t fly and is about as high as my knees. It might sound pretty ridiculous, but they can rip you apart with their talons, and are quick as hell. Anyways, this one was bloody huge, almost reaching my chest. I spent weeks tracking it, until finally, I managed to get it. I brought it back to the collector, who in turn paid me a handsome sum of cash. I then started tracking animals full-time. I learned a lot of valuable things during my time in the outback, most importantly that you don’t need to rely on anybody if you never miss. One day, Redmond approached me, said he needed someone with my skills. And I have been working with him ever since.”

“So how do you like Equestria?”

“Its alright. Not everyone here is too friendly though....”

“What do you mean?”

“Whats her name, Celestia. She’s a real piece of work.” he said spitefully

Twilight frowned. “What happened?”

“She’s had it out for us the minute we stepped through the portal. She threw the Scout across the room.  He may have mouthed off to her, but he’s only a kid. And later, during the whole assassin incident, when she Spy shot the assassin, she went straight for his throat, and didn’t even bother looking at what happened.”

“Now that you mention it, she has seemed to be very short tempered with you.”

“Yeah.” The Sniper checked his watch. “Its about time to head back. Go get some rest, and we can continue in the morning.”

“Goodnight.” said Twilight. The Sniper just tipped his hat and walked away. Once she entered the castle, she did not take a right into the bedroom. Instead, she entered the throne room.

Celestia saw Twilight enter and smiled. “How can I help you, my faithful student?”

“Um, Princess, can I have a word?”

“Of course, whats troubling you?”

“Well, I’ve noticed that you aren’t exactly very friendly to RED. You seem despise them.”

Celestia frowned. “I didn’t want to have to tell you this, because it might distract you from your training, but okay. This.....isn’t the first time we have had humans here. The first was a man by the name of Cave Johnson. He was a scientist. We accepted him with open hooves. He stayed a few days, and when I felt that it was time for him to go, he asked us if he could stay a little longer for research purposes. I saw no problem with that, so I did him one better and gave him a laboratory here in Canterlot. About a week later, I went to check on him. He didn’t respond when I knocked, so I let myself in. I found the butchered carcass of a young unicorn lying on his table, surrounded by several research papers. We looked high and low for him, but he somehow managed to get back to his world. It was then that I realized that humans were not creatures of curiosity that Cave claimed himself to be, they were creatures of destruction. I would have never bothered with RED team, but honestly, we stand no chance of victory unless we enlist their help.”

“Thats-Thats horrible!”

“Yes. But don’t let it distract you from your training. You need to learn their methods as well if we are to succeed. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should follow them blindly. The last thing I want is for any of you to get hurt. Now, it’s late and you need your rest.”

“Yes Princess.”

"Goodnight Twilight"

"Goodnight, Princess." Twilight turned around and went to her bunk room, where she spent a restless night thinking about her conversation with the Princess.

Right Behind You

(Authors note: Sorry for the massive delay of this chapter, I’ve just had a lot of crap going on.)

Chapter 9

Rarity walked apprehensively towards the Spy. Although he seemed much more sophisticated than any of the others, his earlier display with the assassin had proven him more than a capable killer.  “Hello.” she said nervously, “My name is Rarity.”

The Spy looked at her indifferently. He then pointed to a nearby flat part of the gardens. “Go over there, I will meet you shortly.”

Rarity did as she was told. “Alright, Rarity, be calm. He’s on your side.” Twenty minutes passed by, and Rarity’s nervousness quickly turned into irritation. “Uggh, where is he?”

“Right behind you.” said a voice. Rarity whipped around to see Twilight standing there.

“Oh, um hi Twilight.” Twilight merely stared and said nothing. “Darling, a-are you alright?” Twilight smiled and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, the Spy was standing in her place, wearing the exact same facial expression that Twilight just wore. Rarity screamed and fell over. “You almost gave me a heart attack! What were you thinking.”

The Spy chuckled. “I thought I would have a little fun before we begin.”

“That wasn’t funny!”

“Maybe not for you. But, I digress.” He took out a cigarette and lit it. “What do you think a spy does?”

“Um, well, I really wouldn’t know.”

“A spy’s job is to be unseen. You must learn how to avoid detection. I have demonstrated two methods of achieving this, by cloaking, and by disguise. Which would you like to learn first?”

“Disguise, I suppose.”

“Very well. The art of disguise is not as simple as putting on a costume. You need to act the part as well. You need to learn your enemy. You need to put yourself in their shoes and think like they think. You need to become so much like them, you yourself need to believe that you are one of them. Part of being good at disguising is recognizing it. There are many signs of a bad spy. A perfect example is the zebra assassin.”

“He did seem somewhat...shifty.”

“Exactly. He looked like he didn’t belong. Also, if you noticed, his eyes were darting around watching us. A good spy takes care not to look suspicious.”

“I’m curious, how is it that you made yourself look like Twilight if you humans can’t use magic?”

“Good question” He pulled out a small black case from his suit. “This is my disguise kit. All I have to do is push a button and i can transform into anything I need to. Here.” He gave the case to her. “Try disguising yourself. You’ll find that most of your friends have already been programmed in.”

Rarity pushed a button and transformed into Applejack. She hit it again and transformed back into her regular self.

“Good. Now, one very important thing to remember about disguise is to always avoid the person you are impersonating. If they come face to face with a mirror image of themselves, you lose all hope of remaining undetected. I have seen many an ignorant spy meet their end in this manner.”

They spent the rest of the day learning the various techniques of disguise. As she trained, Rarity noticed that the Spy frequently looked over to the Scout. “Excuse me, but why do you keep looking over at the Scout?”

The Spy sighed. “If I tell you, then you can’t repeat what I said to anybody, least of all him.”

“I won’t tell a soul.” promised Rarity.

“He’s....He’s my son.” Rarity gasped. The Spy sighed again. “Indeed. He also isn’t our original scout. About a year back, the same time RED team was created, Redmond’s brother, Blutarch, created BLU team. They were our mortal enemies and about as close to equals as we could possibly hope to find. When I found out that he joined BLU, I was devastated. Even though he never knew I was his father, I still wanted the best for him, I never wanted him to do this sort of thing for a living. What made it much worse was that he was now my enemy, and there was a good chance he could be killed by one of my comrades. Anyway, the time had come for a full frontal assault on BLU. The fighting was brutal, but we were better equipped and more skilled than they were. Their monster of a Heavy mowed down our Scout before I had a chance to backstab him. Shortly after that, BLU got a radio transmission informing them of Blutarch’s death, at which point they surrendered. Redmond had the remaining members killed one by one, but I managed to convince him that we needed another Scout, so my son was spared.”

“Is that why he is shunned by most of the team.”

“Yes. It’s very hard to accept someone who was once your mortal enemy as your friend. Most of them hate him, the Heavy especially. The only one who seems not to dislike him is the Engineer.”

“But why haven’t you told him yet?”

“I don’t really know. I suppose I’m just afraid. My father was a drunk. He would stagger through the door every day yelling at us. He never told any of us that he loved us. He would beat my mother, and if I or my brother tried to step in, he would turn on us. The day I turned 16 I left home and never returned. Maybe I’m so afraid to be a father because I never had a decent father, and I don’t know what it means to be one.”

“You really should tell him, darling, he would want to know.”

“What if he hates me for it? I was never there for him when he was a kid.”

“Well, he might hate you at first, but he would forgive you eventually.”

“Maybe...” He looked at his watch. “It's getting late, let’s go back.” They both walked back to their respective bunks, pondering the discussion they just had.

Force A' Nature

(Author's note: Hey guys, sorry for being a complete tool and forgetting about the story, I will try not to let it happen again. Also, it is worth noting that I changed the zebra assassin in chapter 5 into a changeling, because it made more sense.)

Chapter 10

Rainbow Dash looked at her teacher. She didn’t really know much about the Scout, only that he was the fastest amongst them, and that the rest of his team didn’t like him at all. He was shorter than the others, and had a much slighter build. However, she could see a determined fire in his eyes.

As she approached, the Scout began to size her up. She stood about eye level with himself, and seemed to have a slightly more athletic build than the others. She seemed the less concerned about her outward appearance, as seen by her messy mane. Her most noticeable feature however was her mane color. While the others had three colors at most, hers was a plethora of colors, a literal rainbow. Something about it made Scout want to cry. He stared at her for a moment, then suddenly said “Go do some laps”.

“What?” asked Rainbow, surprised by his abruptness.

“Did I stutter, numnuts? Do a few laps around the grounds. And run them, don’t use those wings. Freakin’ idiot...”

This sudden outburst of rudeness angered Rainbow. “Hey, buddy, what the heck is your problem?”

“Oh, what’s my problem? I get sent to freakin Fairy Land on some dumbass mission to help the happy ponies with their friendship issues. And on top of all that, I gotta train Doofus the flying dumbass!”

This infuriated Rainbow. “What did you just call me, punk?” she said, taking an aggressive stance.

“Doofus the flying dumbass.” he repeated, getting closer to her.

“My name. Is Rainbow Dash.” she said in a dangerously low tone.

“Well Rainbow Dummy, do your freakin’ laps!”

Rainbow had reached her breaking point, and was about to buck Scout in the face when a small voice stopped her. She was put here on orders from the Princess herself to help defend the kingdom, and here she was acting like a filly over some insults. “Equestria needs me, and if that means dealing with jerks like him, I’ll just have to take it.” she said to herself. She backed off and began to trot around the castle grounds.

“What the hell is that, moron? Faster!”

Rainbow muttered to herself and broke into a full gallop. After about twenty minutes of running around, the Scout motioned for her to stop. “Huh. Not bad kid, not bad.” She was panting heavily and was very thirsty. The Scout opened his bag and produced two red cans. “Whats that?” asked Rainbow.

“This is Bonk, just about the best freakin thing in the world.”. He popped the tab on one and gave it to her. “Drink up, pal”.

She picked it up with her mouth and took an experimental sip. It tasted like a mixture of urine and copious amounts of sugar. She spit it out almost immediately and began coughing and gagging. “How the heck do you drink this stuff?”

“What, you don’t like it? First you don’t eat meat, now you won’t drink Bonk. Freakin ponies don’t appreciate nothin.”

“So what’s next?”

“Stand over there.” said Scout, indicating a small patch of dirt. Rainbow did as he said and went to the spot. Without warning, the Scout threw a baseball at her, which collided with her head.

“Ow! What was that for!?” she yelled indignantly.

“You’re supposed to dodge it moron. How the hell do you expect to fight if you can’t dodge an attack? Now try again, and this time, don’t stand around like a dumbass.” He threw several more baseballs at her, almost every single one hitting their mark.

“Quit it!” shouted Rainbow.

“Whassamatter, did I break somethin’? You gonna cry now? You gonna cry? I dare ya, rage quit. Come on, make us both happy.”

Rainbow had had enough. “I.Said.Stop!!!!” she shouted . She charged at Scout and bucked him in the chest before he could react. He fell over backwards with the wind knocked out of him.

He stood up. “You just made the biggest mistake of your life, pal.” He jumped at her, fists swinging wildly attempting to hit anything they could reach. He landed several more punches on her face before she kicked him in the stomach. The Scout bent forwards and Rainbow was worried for a second that she had actually hurt him. Then, without warning, he jumped and tackled her to the ground. He had her pinned down and was about to land a final punch to her face, when he was pulled off by a large, bearlike hand.

“Scout! What is the matter with you?” Exclaimed the Heavy. “Are you trying to anger big white pony?”

“She hit me first!” replied Scout angrily.

“No! You were throwing those balls at me!” said Rainbow.

Big Macintosh, who had been following Heavy chimed in. “We both saw what happened from there. Now both of you better quit acting like children. We all know what is at stake here. Both of you apologize, and let’s all head on back to get some rest.”

Rainbow had never heard Big Mac speak before, other than “Eeyup” and “Nope”. His voice was deep and calming, and yet somehow commanded attention. Rainbow turned to the Scout and apologized .“Sorry.” she muttered.

Scout just grunted and walked away. He was shortly thereafter joined by Heavy, who was muttering about Scout’s idiocy. Big Macintosh followed behind Heavy and said nothing.

Rainbow felt her forehead and discovered that she had amassed a new set of bumps and bruises. She began to follow the others inside when she noticed a black object lying on the ground. Upon closer inspection, it was revealed to be Scout’s hat. She knew the right thing would be to return it to him, but why would she help him when he was such a jerk earlier? She picked it up and placed it on her head, and discovered it actually fit quite nicely. She yawned, and suddenly became aware of how tired she was. She then began the walk back to the castle to go to sleep.

Maggot!

(Authors Note: As much as I love the new Meet the Pyro video, it completely destroyed my plans for him. However, I think I can write a better chapter with his existing personality rather than making a completely new one like I was planning.)

Chapter 11

Spike nervously glanced upward at the Soldier. Of all the people to get as his mentor, Celestia HAD to pick him. They stared at each other, the Soldier wearing an expression of the deepest disgust. “Um..hi.” Spike mumbled. The Soldier immediately brandished a leather riding crop and struck Spike over the head with it. “OW! What was that for!?” The Soldier hit him again.

“Rule number one, maggot: do not speak unless spoken to!”

“Stop it! That thing really hurts!” Spike received another blow from the riding crop.

“Be quiet maggot! Rule number two: I am to be addressed as sir at all times. Is that clear?”

“Yes..” mumbled Spike.

“Yes what?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good! Now then, drop and give me fifty private!”

“Fifty what?”

“Pushups private Twinkle Toes! I assume a spineless worm such as yourself is capable?”

“But sir, I can’t do that many!” This remark earned him another whack with the riding crop.

“How about a hundred then, maggot?”

“But-”

“Two hundred!”

“I....” Spike began, but thought better of it. “Yes sir.”

“Good! Now get to it!”

Spike began the drill. After around thirty pushups, his muscles burned and he was drenched in sweat. Having spent nearly all of his life helping Twilight, his small body was unable to cope with such strain. “Please sir!”, panted Spike, “Can I take a rest?”

“Absolutely not! Do you think that the enemy will give you a break just because you feel tired? No sir!” The Soldier rested his boot on Spike’s back. “Now finish the drill, you pathetic lizard! You have already dishonored this entire unit with your weakness!”

Spike began to tear up. It was just so unfair. He knew he couldn’t do two hundred pushups, especially with the Soldier stepping on his back. He would give anything to be back in the library in Ponyville instead of out here in intense agony.

“Is that a tear I see maggot? Too hard for you? How about another fifty!”

Spike didn’t finish his pushups until late into the night, after all the others had finished and returned to their bunks. By this point, Spike was unable to even lift his arms, let alone stand himself up.

“That’ll do, maggot. Stand up” With a great effort, Spike managed to stand. His legs threatened to give way under him. The Soldier walked over to his bag and retrieved a bottle of water which he tossed to Spike. Spike greedily drank every last drop.

“Stand straight, private.” The Soldier paced around a little. “If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Son, who said that? And I’d say he knows a little more about fighting than you do pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor!”

“What in Equestria is he talking about?” wondered Spike, “Is he crazy or something?”

“And then he used his fight money to buy two of every living animal on Earth! And then he herded them onto a boat. And then he beat the crap out of every single one!”

“Yep, he’s definitely crazy.”

“And from that day forward anytime a group of animals are together, its called a zoo! Unless it’s a farm! Have I made myself clear private?”

“Yes sir”

“Good! You are dismissed. Hit the showers, you disgusting maggot.”

“Yes sir.” Spike was never more happy to obey a command in his life.

After a long shower, Spike went straight to bed. He was too tired to be hungry. He walked into the bunk room, where all the others were chattering about their day (with the exception of Big Macintosh).

Twilight saw him enter and greeted him. "Hey Spike, what took you so long? How was training?"

Spike could only manage a grunt as he trudged off to his bed and collapsed upon it. As he was falling asleep, all Spike could think about was training, and what fresh hell the Soldier would have prepared for him the next day. "This is going to be a long week."

Mmph!

Mmph!

Derpy Hooves made her way over to the masked human, who was mumbling a merry tune. She was just about to wave to him to attract his attention, when the largest of the humans stopped her. "Be careful little pony," he said in his foreign accent, "That Pyro is trouble."

Derpy frowned. "Why, whats wrong with him?"

The Heavy shifted uncomfortably. "I fear no man. Or pony. But that thing......It scares me. Just be careful." And with that, the Heavy went off to join Big Macintosh.

Derpy looked back at the Pyro. Even though there was something off about him, he was the friendliest of RED team. She hesitantly began to trot over to him.

The Pyro hummed happily as he cleaned his flamethrower. Not only was it a near-perfect day, but he was also about to make a new friend. He hadn't had much luck with friends, however. The only one who really talked to him was the Engineer. He looked up from his flamethrower and saw a small grey pony with eyes that went in different directions. He ecstatically waved his gloved hand and shouted for her, trying to get her attention. She noticed and began to hesitantly walk over. "Hudda Huh!" he called encouragingly. He then began to cough through his respirator, still recovering from the wound the assassin inflicted upon him.

As Derpy came closer, the Pyro noticed she seemed unhappy. "Hi" she said, staring at the ground. The pyro gave an encouraging mumble. Derpy, however, stood silently. The Pyro pondered for a moment. It wouldn't do at all for his new friend to be unhappy. Suddenly, an idea struck him. He went over to his things, pulled a birdcage out from one of his duffel bags, and placed it upon his head. Derpy, upon seeing such an absurd thing, couldn't help but laugh. The Pyro beckoned her over to his  bag, which was filled to the brim with all hats of various shapes and sizes

Derpy reached in and pulled out a small beanie with a propeller on the top. The Pyro chuckled, and put on a flowered day hat. Soon, they were both trying on hats of all sorts, spending the better part of the morning laughing and enjoying themselves.

Once all the hats had been tried on, the time had come for some actual training. The Pyro took out one of his flamethrowers. This one was similar to his favorite, but it had a metal head of a beast on one end. "Mmph" said the Pyro, pointing at the trigger. He then moved his hand along the length of the weapon to the head. "Mm Mmmph". He then spread both hands wide. "Hudda huh. Mmph?" The Pyro cocked his head, seemingly inquiring if Derpy had understood his instructions.

Somehow, Derpy had managed to understand him. She picked up the flamethrower to the best of her abilities, and pulled the handle, lighting one of Celestia's hedges ablaze. "Oops!"

The Pyro, however, didn't seem to think anything was wrong at all. He was jumping up and down and clapping like a foal. The spectacle brought a smile to Derpy's face. As the hedge burned down to cinders, the Pyro withdrew another weapon, this one much smaller than his flamethrower. "Mmph" he said, gesturing to it. He then pointed at a target he had set up down range. He held the weapon at arms length and fired a bright red projectile at the target, which hit the target dead center. He then handed the weapon to Derpy. She gripped it with her mouth, aimed at the target, and shot. The flare missed the target completely, and landed dangerously close to the Demoman, who shot her a nasty glare. The Pyro slapped his face with his hand. "Hudda hudda......"

They spend the remainder of the day practicing with the flare gun. By the end, all of Derpy's shots came close to or hit the target. It wasn't very good, but it was a start. As night began to fall, the Pyro gestured for them to return to their barracks. They waved goodbye to each other, and went off their separate ways, happy to have made a new friend.

Princess Luna was sitting in her royal chamber, reading a book. It was a love story involving were-ponies and vampires. "Uggh, is this what ponies are reading nowadays? I should have just stayed on the moon....." She went over to the mirror and looked at her reflection. She smiled. Soon, everything would fall into place. Celestia would fall, RED team would be destroyed, and those insolent ponies who had defeated her with the elements of harmony would be imprisoned. She would become the princess to her adoring subjects, and more importantly, she would make Celestia suffer for every ounce of humiliation she put her through. It was only a matter of time.

"Hello, Princess" said a voice from behind her. A shiver ran down her spine. She hated it when he snuck up on her like that. From the darkness, a tall figure aproached, his face obscured. "I trust everything is going according to plan?"

"Of course it is, these foals are too thick to realize the obvious. Once the Griffins sort out their political issues, they will unleash a devastating invasion on Equestria, one that nothing will be able to stop. Although I have every confidence that they will be able to dispatch RED with minimal issues, I still want to make sure they're out of the picture."

"With all due respect, Princess, these men are not to be trifled with. I have seen what they can do, and they are more than capable of causing all sorts of problems." The dark figure took out a cigarette and lit it, the small ember barely illuminating his face.

Luna wrinkled her nose at the acrid smoke. "That's where you come in. You are the only person who has any knowledge of these people's capabilities. I need you to either eliminate them, or set up the means for another to do so."

The glow from the cigarette made his grin visible. "Not that I don't want the job, but how much am I getting payed for this?"

"I assure you, you will be well rewarded for your service. Once the job is finished, and my rise to power is complete, you shall be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams."

His smile grew wider. It was time to get payback for what these bastards had done to his colleagues. "Consider it done, Princess."

"Good, now get out of here, I don't want us to be overheard. Oh, and one more thing. I don't want any funny business from you. I don't think I need to tell you what happens to traitors?"

"Of course not, Princess." And with that, the tall figure vanished.

Spy in our midst

(Author’s note: Back in the habit of 1 chapter daily!)

Chapter 6

Princess Celestia sat in the meeting room with her sister and co-ruler of Equestria, Princess Luna. For a while, neither of them said anything. Then Celestia sighed and put her face in her hooves. “What am I going to do, Luna?”

“About what, dear sister?”

“Earlier this morning, an assassin attacked one of the mercenaries. He was disguised as one of the royal guards. He was a changeling too! I had counted them among my potential allies, and the fact that the Griffons got to them first is very bad.”

“Thats terrible!” gasped Luna in shock.

“I know. The Spy saw right through his disguise too. And the worst part is that I was the one who stopped him from taking out the assassin. He had the assassin in his sights, and I ordered him to holster his weapon. Thanks to me, there is a good chance he will die!” Celestia thought she saw a quick smile cross Luna’s face for a moment, but quickly discarded the idea. There’s no way she would betray me, Nightmare Moon is dead and gone, she is the co-ruler of Equestria, she would never turn against her kingdom! thought Celestia. After staring at Luna suspiciously for a while, Celestia heard a knock on the door. She opened it and found a guard waiting for her.

“Princess, there is somebody here to see you by the name of......Derpy?” said the confused guard.

“Ah yes, send her in if you please.”

“Yes Princess”

A moment later, a grey wall-eyed pegasus walked in with a grin on her face. “Hi Princess!” she said joyfully.

Celestia couldn’t help but smile. Derpy was just so carefree and innocent, that her smiles were contagious. “Hello Derpy. I trust you got my letter?”

“Yep! I’m ready to fight!” she said, putting a hoof on her forehead in a salute, but quickly lost balance and fell over. She got back up and made another salute.

“You won’t be fighting just yet, Derpy. I have a special assignment for you.”

Derpy’s eyes grew wide. “A special assignment!”

Celestia smiled again. “I’m glad to see you’re so enthustastic! Your assignment is to accompany a group of mercenaries and teach them what it means to be a friend. Can you do it?”

“Yes Princess!” responded Derpy, giving another salute.

“Good. Meet Twilight Sparkle and her companions in the bunk rooms down the hall. My guard will lead you there.”

As Derpy was led away, Celestia shut the door and sat back down. “All due respect sister, but why her?”

“She is innocent, and I believe she has what it takes to change RED for the better.”

“But why do you want to change them at all?”

“They are capable warriors, yes, but they are flawed. They cannot succeed without the magic of friendship to guide them. Also, I believe the ponies I enlisted can benefit from the partnership as well. For instance, Fluttershy is scared of almost everything, and I think that by spending more time with the Medic, she will learn courage.”

“But they have no combat training! They won’t be equipped to deal with war!”

“I was about to get to that. Shortly after the stabbing, I received word that Warlord Bloodtalon III passed away due to a brain tumor. As is customary in Griffon culture, a new Warlord will be picked and crowned immediately, all of this taking roughly three weeks. I intend to use this time to strengthen our front line and have RED train the ponies. I must go check on the state of the Pyro, if you would excuse me.” And with that, Celestia rose from her chair and left.

Luna watched her sister depart, feeling nothing but the deepest loathing. Proud fool... she said to herself. She went upstairs into her room. She pointed her horn at her mirror. Her horn glowed and the mirror projected the visage of a large black griffon.

“Hello, Luna, how goes everything?” the griffon asked.

“Hello Blackfeather. I have recently discovered that Bloodtalon died. Why was I not informed of this sooner?”

Blackfeather looked uncomfortable. “We meant to tell you, but as you can imagine, it’s been pretty crazy over here.”

“Next time, you will tell me immediately or suffer extreme consequences. Am I understood?”

Blackfeather gulped. “Yes Princess.”

“Good. Now then, who seems like the most likely candidate for warlord?”

“That would be his nephew Deathclaw IV.”

“Excellent, he will make a fine replacement. Make sure he is the victor using any means necessary.”

“Yes Princess”

“So how goes the war effort?”

“Very well, your highness. We were planning a surprise attack on Manehattan, but had to return for the choosing of the new Warlord.”

“Good.”

“Did the assassination go as planned?” asked Blackfeather.

“Still no word. The assassin was skilled, but so is their medic. With luck, the poisons will take effect and he will die.”

“That's good to hear. Anything else, Princess?”

“No, you are dismissed. Thank you Blackfeather.”

“My lady” Blackfeather said as he bowed.

Luna stepped away from the mirror. You thought you had eliminated me as a threat, sister, but you were gravely mistaken. The moon shall rise and the world shall have eternal, glorious night! And there is nothing you can do to stop it. Because at the end of the day, even the sun must set.