Like a Bullet from a Gun

The day began, and all was peaceful in the quiet town of Ponyville. That was, until Vinyl Scratch blared her dubstep out of the window at full volume.

"AWWWW YEAH, GOOD MOOORNING POONYVILLE!"

"What the..." said Alex as he was abruptly woke up from his slumber by what seemed to him as just noise.

"Daniel?! Are you awake?!"

"Yeah," replied Daniel. "I'm downstairs making breaksfast!"

Wait. Daniel, making breakfast? Now that did not make any sense. In all the years that Alex had known Daniel he had never cooked once, so why start now?

As Alex made his way downstairs, his doubts were confirmed. Daniel was indeed cooking, and he was doing a good job of it too.

"Wow... I never knew you could cook Dan."

"Me neither. I'm making scrambled eggs and toast. Want any?"

"Nah, I'll just have nothing to eat whatsoever for the whole day." Alex said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

"Aww, cheer up mate. It's the first day of our new jobs, isn't it? Cheer up, dumbass."

"I fail to see how using the words 'Cheer up' and 'Dumbass' in the same sentance is possible."

"It's simple. Cheer up, dumbass."

"Oh ha ha ha, very funny."

After a delicious meal of scrambled egg, the squad of four met outside their two separate houses.

"Ok, once everyone is finished at their jobs, meet me outside of Twilight's Library tree thing. Ok?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's get to work!"

Upon arriving at the library, Alex was met with a rather frightened Twilight.

"Alex!" she shouted. "Thank Celestia you're here. A bunch of thugs broke in, but they didn't steal anything. They just threw the books around. Can you be a lamb and clear it up?"

"Why did they not steal anything?" Alex inquired.

"I don't know, but can you clear it up?"

"Yes, I guess."

"Great! I need to get back to my studies, come see me when you are done!"

"Ok...... I'm a lamb!"

It took Alex the good of an hour to clear up the mess in Twilight's library. The books got everywhere, some places even Alex thought could not have been possible. For example, a copy of "Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone" was able to get half of itself lodged in the oak wall. Someone must have fired it out of a vortex cannon to do that.

"Okay, Twilight." Alex said with small breaks for breaths. "I'm done."

"Great! Here!" she said as she handed Alex a bag full of rustling coins. "You can go home now, I have nothing else for you to do."

Alex made his way outside, and was met with three disgruntled faces.

"Hey guys, how was work?" asked Alex.

"Terrible." replied Dan.

"Awful." replied Connor.

"Horrendous." replied Rhod.

"Why?"

"Well for starters," Daniel began. "I managed to ruin a whole shipment of Bon Bons, Rhod's baking made a pony throw up, and Connor cut one of Rarity's dresses in half when he misused the sewing machine."

"I thought Celestia picked the jobs for what we were best at!"

"The thing we are best at is fighting." replied Connor. "But we have no way of contacting Celestia."

"Yes we do!" answered Rhod, as he opened the door to the library they were standing in front of. "Twilight?"

"Yes, Rhod?"

"I would like Spike to take down a letter to Celestia."

"Okay, but how do you know my assistant's name?"

"There is a show about you, remember?"

"Ahh, yes. Spike! Get down here!"

Seconds after, a dragon walked down the stairs. He had purple scales and green hair, but he was smaller than he was menacing.

"Yes, Twilight?" he answered, completely oblivious to the four strange aliens in his living room.

"I would like you to take a letter for our friends."

"What frien-"

His sentence stopped  when he lay his eyes onto the humans. He had a sheer look of terror on his face, before shaking it off and continuing.

"What would you like me to write?" as he said this a scroll and quill appeared in his hands by magic.

"Ahem," said Alex, clearing his throat.

Dear Princess Celestia,

We would like to make changes to our current job settings. We all returned from work with miserable faces, and it is clear that our real talents lie in warfare. The sooner you can apply changes the better.

Yours Sincerely,

Alex Actual

"Alex Actual... OKAY! Got it." and with that he opened his mouth, sending a spark of a flame launching into the air, engulfing the letter.

"Why'd you do that?!" asked a confused Connor.

"It's how I send letters. I had my flames modified to send them directly to the Princess. It will appear next to her right about, now!"

"Okaaaay...."

"Anyway," said Twilight. "Would you like a cup of tea while you wait for the reply?"

"Yes please!" said all four humans, at exactly the same time.

"Okay then, I'll be right back." said Twilight, as she walked out of the room.

"So," began Spike. "How did you guys-"

His sentence was interrupted by a massive burping sound, and after a letter appeared on the table, sealed with a red wax seal.

"Wow, that was quick for her to respond!"

"What does it say?"

"It reads:"

Dear Alex,

I understand that your talents are in fighting, so I have arranged with Captain Shining Armour to initiate you and your squad into the Royal Guard. A convoy will be picking you up from your houses, and you will be transported to Canterlot via Sky Chariots. I await to see you.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

"Wow," said Alex. "She sure is formal."

"I'm surprised she's going to let us into her army, considering what we did." said Rhod.

"Once we have had our tea, we must get back to the houses. We shouldn't keep royalty waiting."

And with that, the squad arrived at thier houses. And they were surprised that the chariots were already there.

"Humans!" said one of the pilots of the chariots. "We must be quick, the Princess sent out an urgent order to get you to her castle. Please, get onto our chariots. I take you have never flown before, yes?"

"We arrived in planes. Of course we've flown before."

"My aplogies, now enough chit chat! Get on!"

And with that, they took of towards Canterlot, at amazing speeds.

When they arrived, Princess Celestia was already there waiting for them.

"Ah, Piledriver. If you would like to step off your vehicles and follow me it would be very much appreciated."

As they followed Celestia, it became clear that they were in the barracks region of the castle. There were guards attacking manikins all throughout the courtyards, and there was an area where someone was teaching some unicorns how to use a less advanced version of a crossbow.

"Ah, here we are." she said, as she led them into a dark room. When she flicked the lights on, it revealed a variety of shelves holding guns.

"I had the liberty of dispatching guards to your downed plane and they came back with all the crates they could see. This room is where all of your weapons and supplies will be stored. Now if you excuse me..."

Her horn glowed once more, then after a flash of light four symbols appeared in the grasp of her magic.

"Please, attach these to your uniforms. This is our army's logo." she said this as she handed a logo to all of the humans in the room.

Alex examined the logo, and it looked like this.

"Pretty neat." responded Alex.

"It is the emblem of United Equestria. Now, I will leave you to examine what else we found from your downed friend while I finish the papers on your enrolment." And with that, she left the room.

"Man," said Dan. "She sure found a lot of stuff. I mean look at this, she found a whole crate full of ammo for our M4A1's!"

"We are so very lucky, now remember, don't waste it." Alex said with a chuckle.

Alex's squad spent the next half an hour examining their weapons and assets. The silence was interrupted by Celestia entering the room again.

"Ahh," she began. "I see you have taken quite a shine to your weapons. I had the liberty of having my guards clean them before we set them up. Alex, could you come with me please?"

"Sure." said Alex, as he left the room.

"Alex, I have wondered how these things work. I'm going to take to a training court and you are going to show a bunch of guards these weapons. Oh, I forgot. Your squad's ranks are all First Lieutenant. I have assigned each of you four a squad of your command, but I would like you to crown them first, as you seem to be the one that was in charge of Piledriver."

"I was, Celestia. I had them under my command. But a new squad of ponies seems nice."

"Great, but please treat them with respect. These are the most talented fighters we have, and they are all under your control. Now," she said, as they entered a courtyard with manikins set up on one end. "Show us how it is done."

"Hello, everypony."

"'Sup." came the reply from most of them.

"I'm your new squad leader."

As soon as those words were muttered, they all saluted and stood at the pony version of attention.

"Stand to. I am here to demonstrate the power of the weapons we humans possess. Please, step out of the way so I can see the manikins."

"Sir yes sir!" they all chanted, as they stepped out of the way.

Alex took a deep breath, and aimed down his ACOG sight. He rested the crosshair on the manikin's head, and, releasing his breath, shot a round down the courtyard. The air was pierced with a loud shattering sound, and the manikin's head was destroyed.

A chorus of "Ooooooo"'s erupted from the crowd, as they proceeded to clap.

"Thank you, but I must warn you. These weapons are capable of killing somepony instantly. So I advise you, let me lead the pack if we go into battle."

"Sir yes sir!"

"Squad, report in."

"Halo, reporting in!"

"Amplify, reporting in!"

"Shockwave, reporting in!"

"Conspire, reporting in!"

"Cyclone, reporting in!"

"Are you prepared for anything anypony can throw at us?!"

"Sir yes sir!"

"Then I believe we will get along just fine then!"

"I hope you do," started Celestia. "Because you are going to be staying together until death do you part. Alex, you will still be able to co-en side with your squad, though. If you excuse me, I need to introduce your fellow squad members to their new platoons. If you excuse me..."

And with that, she left the courtyard.