Das Insanity Train

by Survivor98

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna
Length: 29370

Five beings are teleported to Equestria. How will they cope?

Bhuna, Cheesy, Judge and Dermo are four "humans" who have been alive for a very, very very long time. They have been through some of life's most enduring trials but have remained friends. However, what will happen when they are sent to Equestria. Will they have fun or go more insane than they already (technically) are?

(IF YOU ARE HAVING MAJOR ISSUES READING SOME OF THE WORDS THEN JUST SAY SO. IF I GET TOO MANY PEOPLE SAYING THEY CANT UNDERSTAND THE WRITING I'LL CHANGE IT!)

Published 2013-03-30 08:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-14 16:43:20 UTC

Chapter 2: Introductions

Fluttershy and the boys reached her cottage in a couple of minutes. Due to the presence of three large creatures and one massive... robot?, several animals came close but quickly backed off. Bhuna, Judge and Dermo let out sighs of relief while Cheesy continued to stand and look around the area they were stood in. Bhuna and Dermo had been talking to Fluttershy for most of the walk while Judge opted to simply get lost in his thoughts.

"Well hear we are" Fluttershy said with a smile as she walked over the small wooden bridge outside her cottage.

"Follow me inside and we'll find you somewhere to sleep" said Fluttershy.

"Magic!" whooped Bhuna, Judge and Dermo as they walked over the bridge.

Fluttershy had just opened the door when she heard a loud crack and the sound of water splashing. She turned round and saw Cheesy waist deep in water as he had smashed through the bridge. Fluttershy quickly ran to help him out.

"Oh my goodness are you alright" asked Fluttershy as she tried to move his arm but couldn't move it an inch.

"I'm fine darlin, weighing nearly a tonne and a half does have it's downsides believe it or not". Cheesy said as he pulled himself out of the water.

"You weigh nearly two tonnes?" Fluttershy asked curiously.

"Aye. Its because I'm made out of titanium, steel and osmium" Cheesy said as he wiped the water from his body.

"Hmmm. I haven't heard of titanium or osmium before" Fluttershy said rubbing her chin. "Maybe Twighlight has".

"You have a friend called Twilight?" asked Cheesy

Fluttershy was about to answer when a blue blur collided with Cheesy. However when Fluttershy looked at Cheesy she saw Rainbow Dash stuck to his side. Cheesy looked at her then pulled her off and held her in front of his face. He then looked down at Fluttershy.

"One of your friends?" he asked.

"Um... yes that's Rainbow Dash" Fluttershy said under the now red eyed gaze of Cheesy.

Cheesy was about to put her down when a purple aura rapped itself around him and Rainbow. He turned around and saw a purple unicorn physically sweating with her eyes closed and a strained look on her face. She suddenly opened her eyes with a look of fear on her face.

"Fluttershy run!" she shouted to Fluttershy who was standing behind Cheesy.

"RIGHT! CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Cheesy boomed causing Fluttershy to yelp and the unicorn to fall back on her haunches with pure fear.

"What are you two playing at" asked Cheesy

"Hey let go of me!" shouted Rainbow as she woke up and found her self hanging by her left hind leg.

"W-wha... what a-are y-yuo" stammered the unicorn as she shook wildly under Cheesy's now blue stare.

"I'm a human and I'm in a place where I have never been before being attacked by unicorns and pegasi" Cheesy said slightly annoyed.

"We're trying to stop you from hurting Fluttershy you big hunk a junk!" Rainbow shouted.

"Hahahaha!" Cheesy laughed "I like this one"Cheesy continued wiping a fake tear away from his eye.

"Girls he's not trying to hurt me. I'm trying to help them" Fluttershy said softly.

"Who's them" Twilight asked gulping.

"Well they're are four of us" Cheesy said

"FOUR!?" Twilight shouted

"Yes but Twilight their all friendly and they don't want to hurt anypony" Fluttershy said.

"You're sure Fluttershy?" asked Rainbow, who was now hovering just in front of Cheesy carefully looking at him to see if he was dangerous.

"Aye, we'll be friendly if you're friendly, awright?" Cheesy said.

"Promise?" asked Twilight

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye" Cheesy said with a metallic grin.

"That's a bit grim don't you think?" Twilight asked as she giggled slightly.

"Oh, sister you don't know what grim is, until you've been were that rhyme's from" Cheesy said with a shake of his head.

"Well it's not that late why don't you girls come in for some tea?" asked Fluttershy with a gentle smile.

"Well alright then" said Twilight.

"Rainbow? Are you coming in?" asked Fluttershy.

"Nah I'm fine thanks for asking though Shy" Rainbow said with a smile. "Bye Twilight and bye... what was you're name again?" asked Rainbow pointing at Cheesy.

"Cheesy" replied Cheesy with a wave.

Rainbow waved back before shooting off into the quickly approaching night sky. Cheesy then turned to look at Twilight and Fluttershy before smiling and pointing towards Fluttershy's cottage.

"Shall we" he said with a grin before following the two mares into the cottage.

Inside the cottage, Bhuna, Judge and Dermo were sitting on the floor snoring lightly. Twilight and Fluttershy giggled before looking up at Cheesy who was crouched slightly to fit inside the cottage. He stepped towards the three other humans and clapped his metal hands together loudly waking them up.

"The clown has no penis..." said Bhuna as he woke up suddenly.

"What kinds of dreams are you having?" Twilight asked with a light giggle.

Judge and Dermo grunted quietly before waking up as well.

"Would you all like some tea?" Fluttershy asked everyone.

Everybody in the room said accept Cheesy who just shook his head. Fluttershy nodded.

"Is there anything I can get you Cheesy?" Fluttershy asked.

"Naw am fine I don't actually have to eat or drink" Cheesy replied with a shrug.

"OK then I'll be back in a moment" Fluttershy said as she flew through to her kitchen.

"Um guys?" Twilight asked the four humans who were sitting around the floor.

They all looked at Twilight and nodded.

"Aye darlin what do you need?" asked Judge.

"Would you mind if I ask you a few questions?" Twilight asked with a smile.

"Awright then, I'm fine with that" said Cheesy with a smile.

Twilight's smile grew impossibly large as her horn flashed and several, rolls of paper, inkwells and quills appeared in front of her.

"What the fuuuuuu..." Dermo and Judge stared at the supplies that had just appeared with mouths agape.

"How did you do that" Dermo asked.

"Hey it's magic she doesn't have to explain shit" Bhuna stated giving her a wink and a smile.

For the next few hours, Twilight asked the four humans questions about, who they were, why they were in Equestria, what they did, what their home was like and what they did for fun.(She figured Pinkie Pie would want to know).

(7hours later)

"And finally, what do humans eat?" Twilight asked.

"Meat, fruit and vegetables, but some people will eat pretty much anything under the right conditions" Cheesy answered receiving frightened looks from Twilight and Fluttershy.

"Do you have to eat meat?" Twilight asked hesitantly.

"Naw. Some humans only eat fruit and vegetables" Cheesy answered.

"What kind of meat do you eat?" Fluttershy asked from behind her mane.

"First of all, we don't eat ponies, awright. Secondly almost all types. Like I said before some people will eat anything under the right conditions. And finally I haven't ate in almost 200 years and the lads haven't eaten proper meat in years." Cheesy finished pointing at the three sleeping humans behind him.

"Wait. 200 years. how old are you guys?" Twilight asked surprised.

"Well I'm just over 42,000, Bhuna's just about 38,000, Dermo's getting close to 39,000 and Judge is just over 31,000".
Cheesy finished.

"How are you so old? Do all humans live as long as you?" Twilight's mind was racing with questions and she was about to ask another when Fluttershy tapped her on the shoulder.

"Um Twilight it's really late and I think we've all had a long night" Fluttershy said with a soft smile.

Twilight nodded before getting up and leaving, waving goodbye as she did. Fluttershy shut the door and turned to look at Cheesy who was sitting against the wall. However she noticed that his eyes weren't glowing so she figured he was asleep. She smiled and went upstairs to go to sleep. Today had been long and strange.

Author's Note

Sorry for any grammatical errors I still have syndromes.

Chapter 3: A New Day

The sun shone through the window of Fluttershy's cottage and on to her face with a warm sensation. Fluttershy smiled and opened her eyes. She took a moment to stretch before getting out of bed. She made her way down the stairs to find her living room empty. She started to look around for the guys but stopped and thought for a moment. Was last night all a strange dream?. Was it all in her imagination? Her thoughts were shattered by a voice from behind her. She turned around and almost screamed when she was met face to muzzle with Bhuna.

"Hey yall" he whispered to her before laughing like a madman and running out of the cottage giggling.

Fluttershy just stood there to frightened to move. Her mind was reeling from what had just happened and she wasn't sure what to do. Her thoughts were once again broken by another voice from behind her. She then turned and looked at the door which wasn't actually there anymore. The door had visibly been shattered by something and pieces of wood were strewn across the floor. Fluttershy was now confused more than frightened and took a step towards the door. She walked out side to see her five friends coming towards her cottage at a fairly brisk pace. Rainbow was the first to arrive at Fluttershy's cottage and she landed right in front of Fluttershy with a light thud.

"Um Rainbow is something wrong?" asked Fluttershy.

"Hay no Fluttershy!" Rainbow cheered with a big grin on her face.

"We were all coming to ask you if you wanted to come and hang out with us and the guys" Rainbow said.

"What. Were are they?" Fluttershy asked. "They haven't done anything bad have they?" Fluttershy asked hesitantly.

"No no no." said Rainbow shaking her head. "They made this awesome stuff that exploded!" Rainbow cheered.

"Oh isn't that dangerous?" Fluttershy asked looking quite worried.

As if on queue a large explosion shook the ground below them making all the birds fly from the trees in fear. The six Elements and baby dragon all got up and heard something coming towards them. They all looked to the blast and saw... Bhuna come flying towards them. They all ducked and he hit a nearby tree making it crack slightly under the force of the impact. The six mares and dragon gasped before hearing a muffled laugh come from the tree. They all looked to see Bhuna in the process of getting up before he started to breath fairly heavily.

"ACHT YAAAAAAA!" Bhuna screamed before giggling and passing out.

At that moment Cheesy, Judge and Dermo appeared with big grins on their faces... wait their faces, Cheesy had skin now rather than metal and looked like the rest now. They were also covered in black soot and Cheesy was even on fire in a few places.

"That was fuckin tonto!" shouted Cheesy as he patted the flames out on his chest and shoulders.

"Yo Bhuna... you awright?" Judge asked as he stood over Bhuna.

Bhuna simply gurgled and started foaming at the mouth while his pupils widened to become almost black holes in his face. He then picked up a nearby piece of wood and started chewing it all while lying on his back.

"Aye your awright" Judge continued with a blank expression on his face.

"So girls I take it you've all met the guys?" asked Fluttershy

"Oh yes darling there very friendly and nice" said Rarity.

"Yep, there decent fellurs" said Applejack.

"Yup, there funny and they like to have fun!" Pinkie Pie squeeled as she bounced up and down happily.

Bhuna had finally got up and was now stood next to Dermo. All four of the guys were looking at their new friends. Bhuna was the first to speak up.

"Right then what do yall wan't to do now?" he asked everyone there.

"Ah fancy meetin these two princesses that Twilight keeps mentioning" said Judge.

"You ken what. So do I" said Cheesy.

"Aye why no" said Dermo.

"Do you want to meet the princesses?" asked Twilight with a smile.

"Oh aye. I figure if were gon tay be stayin here then we should probably meet whoever's in charge" said Judge.

"Well give me a moment I'll send them a letter asking if they would give you an audience" said Twilight.

Twilight wrote down something on a piece of paper and then rolled it up before giving it to Spike. Spike then belched out a puff of green fire and the scroll disappeared.

"Wait. Is that like a form of communication aroond heer?" asked Cheesy with a large grin.

"Yes. Dragon fire is magic and can be used to send things long distances" Twilight said with a smile.

"Oh Fuck Yes!" shouted Cheesy. "Now ave got a gid reason fur settin hings on fire. FUCKIN YALDI!" he shouted pumping his fist in the air.

"No it doesn't work like that" said Twilight giggling along with the rest of the girls, Spike, Judge, Bhuna and Dermo.

"Ah Pish" Cheesy pouted crossing his arms.

That caused everyone there apart from Cheesy to burst into full blown laughter.

"YA... STUPID... FANNY!" shouted Dermo in between bursts of laughter.

"AL FANNY YE THE NOO. COME EER YA WEE DICK!" shouted Cheesy as he lunged for Dermo.

The Elements, Spike, Judge and Bhuna sat on the grass behind Fluttershy's cottage for a while before Applejack spoke up.

"Hey Cheesy ah got two questions for ya if ya wouldn't mind answerin em" she said.

"Nay danger darlin, what is it?" Cheesy replied.

"First. How ya git the name Cheesy?" Applejack asked as everyone gathered round to listen to Cheesy.

"Well ah really liked cheese so ah just got the name and it stuck" Cheesy said.

"Alright, secondly why are yall made a metal? I mean ya aint no robot from whut a can guess" asked Applejack.

"Well I'm made of metal because I'm the wan who's always gettin shot, blown up, burned, mauled, ate, stabbed, hit and beaten to save everybody else. Or at least keep these three fannies alive" Cheesy said jabbing a finger towards Bhuna, Judge and Dermo.

"Wait so you just sacrifice yourself over and over again to keep everypony else alive?" asked Rarity with a hint of sadness in her voice. "You poor thing" she said putting a hoof to her mouth.

"Ha. Ah like you lot" Cheesy said pointing at the six mares and baby dragon. "Yous are so considerate. But really ah dinnea mind. Ah mean look at the state eh me. Av lost aw my limbs and organs, my eyes, three quarters of ma fuckin brain, and aw ma fucking bones. And am still alive" Cheesy finished with a shrug. Just then a wooden chair was smashed over his head.

"Waaaay ya bellend!" shouted Judge as he ran off into the Everfree Forest.

"RIGHT! SAY YUR PRAYERS BAW JAWS!" Cheesy shouted as he ran after him.

Chapter 4: Hell Yeah!

"COME BACK HERE YA DICK!" shouted Cheesy as he chased after Judge.

"You'll huv teh catch meh first ya fanny!" Judge shouted back.

Bhuna, Dermo, Spike and the Elements were following close behind. Bhuna and Dermo were laughing while the girls and Spike were worried about Cheesy and Judge's safety. They followed until they found themselves in the same clearing Fluttershy found the guys in. Accept now there were four huge metal boxes there.

"How did we miss them?" asked Dermo with a raised eyebrow.

The boxes were alien to the girls and Spike however the guys quickly recognised them as shipping containers. They were jet-black and were perfectly smooth apart from the doors, which had name tags on them. One had Cheesy, one had Dermo, one had Bhuna and one had Judge.

"What are they?" Twilight asked as she knocked one of the containers with a hoof.

"They're shipping containers. We use them to transport stuff long distances by boat" said Bhuna as he walked to his container.

"Right. We'll open them on three, it might be a trap" said Cheesy as he put a hand on his container's door.

"Fine. We'll open them on three" said Judge.

"One..."

"...Two..."

"...THREE!" shouted Bhuna.

The doors swung open to reveal (what one could only describe as) a FUCK TONNE of weapons. The Elements and Spike looked curiously at the strange devices, only recognising a few items. However, before any of them could speak the guys let out girlish squeels and giggles before running into the containers.

"Oh sweet mother of FUCK!" shouted Cheesy from the container.

"Well slap my ass and call me Susan" Bhuna said from his container.

"OH YA CUNT!" Judge screamed from his container.

"OH HELL YEAH!" Dermo shouted fromm his container.

"Boys would you mind coming out and showing us your things" Rarity called with a smile.

"Sorry hen. Ah dinnae swing like that" said Bhuna poking his head out of his container with a smirk.

Rarity's face threatened to explode from the blush she now had.

"N-no I... mean...-"

"He's just kiddin darlin" called Cheesy.

Cheesy then emerged with a huge drill on one of his arms and a large mini gun in the other. He had a large box on his back with a belt of bullet coming out of it and into the mini gun. The drill was easily the size an average pony which frightened everypony accept Rainbow who simply looked at it and smiled. Bhuna then emerged holding a quad-barreled shotgun with a chainsaw on the bottom in one hand and large axe in the other. Rainbow's grin larger at the awesomeness that she was witnessing. Dermo then emerged with a large shield on one arm and an LMG with a large bayonet on the bottom of it in the other hand. Finally Judge appeared from his container with a massive sniper rifle in his hands it was caked in what appeared to be dried blood and had one shot one kill written along the barrel. He was also wearing a strange set of armour that had the same slogan written on the shoulder guard.

"Oh. Hold on a minute" said Cheesy as he went back inside his container. There were some loud bangs and thuds and after several seconds he emerged wearing his own set of armour. It was gray with silver metal trims and had a red visor on the mask. The gray material seemed to look like muscle and appeared to be 'skin' tight. Everypony stared with wide eyes as Cheesy's suit visor started glowing red and a deep raspy voice came from the suit.

"System rebooted... waiting for intel" said the voice before the visor went blue.

"AH PISH!" Cheesy shouted before the suit spoke up again.

"WARNING FATAL SYSTEM ERROR DETECTED. ALL SYSTEMS SHUTTING DOOOWWWnnn" said the voice before the visor turned off and Cheesy collapsed.

"Is he going to be OK?" asked Twilight looking over him.

"Yeah. What is that suit made of anyway?" asked Rainbow as she hovered over him.

"It's the Nanosuit V2.0. And we dont know what the fuck it's made of" said Judge as he walked over to Cheesy.

"So are all these things weapons?" asked Fluttershy quietly.

"Yep. These are the weapons we always carry aboot." said Bhuna as he admired his firearm.

"I hope you don't plan on using any of them against my little ponies" said a soft and calming voice.

"AHH! FUCK!" screamed Dermo as he spun round and met the steely gaze of a Lunar night guard.

The guard acted instinctively and struck Dermo in the face. However before a full out brawl could commence. A deafening roar erupted from behind them all.

"What was that?" asked the guards and humans (apart from Cheesy).

"Uh oh. That sounds like a dragon" said Spike. "And he doesn't sound to happy".

"Fluttershy. Can you make peace with it?" asked Princess Celestia

However before she could answer a dragon as dark as night walked into the massive clearing they were all standing in.

"Oh no a black dragon" said Twilight shaking in fear along with everypony else apart from the princess and the three remaining humans.

"We'll take care of it" Cheesy said as he rose to his full height.

"What. Nopony has ever been able to vanquish a black dragon. If you seriously think you can you are either mad, demented or insane.

"Well lucky were all three" Cheesy said with a laugh.

The dragon wasn't that big. Only about 20 feet tall. However it still looked extremely dangerous. The dragon ducked low, ready to attack.

"MOAN THEN YA WEE BAWBAG!" shouted Bhuna as he brought up his shotgun and revved up the chainsaw.

Cheesy stepped forward until he was right in front of the dragon. It let out a huge breath of wight hot fire. All the ponies gasped, knowing that nothing could survive black dragon fire. It had a heat to rival Celestia's sun. However when the fire smoke and ash cleared everyone gasped as they saw Cheesy standing in the same place, unfazed by the heat. The dirt around him had even turned to glass under the heat. The dragon was clearly surprised as it's eyes went wide and it reeled back in slight fear of the seemingly invincible creature standing before it.

"FOR FUCK SAKE! AV HID FUCKIN PIES HOTTER THAN THAT!" shouted Cheesy

The bravery of the new beings gave the guards new found vigor as they stood up to join the line and fight the dragon. However before they could move they noticed some kind of red beam being pointed at the dragon's head. The red beam quickly turned to orange with a loud bang as half the dragon's head was lost in a sea of blood and gore. The guards were now terrified of the angel of death that was seemingly watching them, but before they could do anything Judge appeard from a giant nearby tree with his giant sniper laughing. He walked over to the massive lifeless form of the dragon and kicked it's eye into the forest.

"Hahahahaha! Nothing beets the One-Shot!" He cheered

Celestia, the Elements, Spike and the guards were all starring at the dragon's corpse with horrified and shocked faces. Celestia was the first to recover as she spoke to the four humans.

"Was that called for?" she asked quietly.

"Probably not" answered all of the guys in unison.

Chapter 5: Tours and Demonstrations

Princess Celestia, Spike, the Elements and the night guards shakily walked over to the four humans standing in front of the dead dragon. They looked at the four large beings before Celestia spoke up again.

"Did you really have to kill it, like... that?" asked Celestia with a stunned expression on her face.

"Look darlin. If we've learned anything in our long long life's. Its that using lethal force against dangerous enemies usually solves the issue very... very... quickly" said Cheesy as he turned away from the lifeless corpse.

The night guards were now curious about the weapons and the shipping containers and were slowly moving towards them before Bhuna spoke up from behind them.

"Hey you can look. But don't fuckin touch" said Bhuna with a grin.

"Why are all these...-"

"Guns" said Bhuna

"-...Guns so big and weird shaped?" asked the night guard captain with a raised eyebrow.

Celestia, Spike and the Elements had now regained their senses and were listening in to Bhuna as he spoke.

"Oh. Well you'd be better off askin Cheesy aboot the guns and mechanics" said Bhuna as he waved Cheesy over.

All the ponies present were sitting on their haunches. Even Celestia. Which almost gave Dermo another heart attack.

"What?" asked Cheesy as he reached the group.

"They want teh ken how the guns work and what they are." said Bhuna.

"Oh, awright then" Cheesy said with a grin.

"Well our weapons come from all across the universe. They're all made by different armies, races and species. Some are big, some are small. Some are loud and some are silent. Some are heavy and some are light. Some are quite easy to handle and some will break your fuckin shoulder." said Cheesy as he sat down in front of the group. "All of the guns we've got fire bullets, which are these" Cheesy said holding up a bullet.

"How do these bullets work if you don't mind me asking?" said Celestia with a raised hoof.

Cheesy replied by pulling out a revolver from his container and firing it off at a nearby tree. The tree exploded in the middle and fell to the ground with a crash. Everypony stared in shocked amazement at the sight before turning back to Cheesy with mouths agape.

"They work like this. Inside the gun there is a pin, known as the firing pin. That pin strikes the primer on the bullet causing a small explosion that makes the projectile fly out of the barrel and hopefully right at what you aimed it at."

Twilight was taking notes as Cheesy spoke with a content look on her face.

"Um could you tell us more about you're individual weapons?" asked a night guard pointing a hoof towards Cheesy's drill.

"Nea danger" said Cheesy with a grin.

"This is Hammer and this is Shield" said Dermo with a proud look towards his LMG and Boomshield. "Hammer fires 12.7mm by 107mm cartridges at 700 rounds per minute and has a kick big enough to stop a tank" said Dermo rubbing his gun. "Shield is virtually indestructible by most standards and can deflect anything thrown at it mack at the thrower" Dermo continued grabbing his shield and holding it up in the air.

"This is Rawr and Big Daddy" said Cheesy holding his drill and mini gun. " Rawr's a beast by gun standards, she fires 14.5mm by 114mm cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute and could easily level a building" said Cheesy holding the behemoth mini gun in his hand. "Bid Daddy's one of my favs, this drill can put a hole in anything as far as I know. I haven't found a material yet that can stand up to this drill" said Cheesy hugging the massive drill to his body.

"This my One-Shot. I've modified it to fit me and it will kill virtually anything" said Judge as he sat down next to his One-Shot. "This bad boy fires 25mm by 257mm cartridges over a range of 3000 meters, and it has a night vision and thermal sight on it so if you're on the battlefield. I'll find you." Finished Judge with a bid smile.

"This shotgun's the dogs bollocks, seriously this thing will scatter a crowd of 100 people or ponies with one shot... well four shots" said Bhuna as he laughed. "It's got a fairly good range on it already but if you get to close you'll be turned into pink mist, or sliced to fuck by the chainsaw underneath" said Bhuna while he stroked his shotgun. "Oh and this is my axe. Same deal with Cheesy's drill this axe is sharp as fuck and will hack virtually anything down with one clean swipe" Finished Bhuna with a chuckle.

All the ponies present just sat there in (once again) shocked amazement. Well all apart from Twilight who had wrote everything down and was now reading over her notes.

"Well I'm glad you know how to defend yourselves but could you not wear that armor or carry those weapons around with you all the time?" asked Celestia with a smile.

"Nae problem darlin. We'll move these containers to our new bunker the noo." said Cheesy as he stood up and put his weapons and suit back in the container.

"Wait... bunker. When did you build a bunker?" asked Rainbow with a raised eyebrow.

"We haven't, thats the point. We're gon tae have to get started soon" said Cheesy.

"Well how about you spend the night at the castle" said Celestia with a kind smile.

"Are you sure aboot that darlin?" asked Cheesy.

"Yes. It's big enough for you to stay in and you'll be able to start your building in the morning if you wish." Finished Celestia with the same kind smile.

"FUCKIN YALDI!" shouted Cheesy, Bhuna, Dermo and Judge.

Chapter 6: Dat Castle

The Elements rode in a large carriage with the Princess and the guys rode in their own carriage. However the night was very quiet and they could easily talk between the carriages.

"How much longer till we git to the castle?" asked Bhuna.

"About, five more minutes" said Celestia with a smile.

"Awright then".

Rainbow was flying next to the carriage talking to Cheesy.

"So whats it like being a robot?" asked Rainbow innocently.

"Am no a robot am just a stupid fanny who dissnae ken how tae move out the road of gunfire and explosions" Cheesy said with a grin.

"Wow, you mean you lost all your hoo-... what are those you have?" asked Rainbow.

"Hands and feet?" said Cheesy.

"Yeah. You lost your hands and feet while fighting bad guys" asked Rainbow excitedly.

"Aye"

"So awesome" said Rainbow.

(5 minutes later)

"Well gingerly kiss mah pomegranates" said Cheesy with a smile. "That's fuckin impressive".

"OH YA CUNT!" shouted Judge as he woke up and then immediately fell back asleep.

"MENTAL!" shouted Bhuna.

"That's cool as baws" said Dermo.

The carriages landed in the Canterlot Castle courtyard and was immediately approached by several guards.

"Princess. We're here to escort you to the throne room." stated the guard in gruff voice.

"Why is that?" asked the Princess.

"We have received reports from Ponyville that there are four large bipedal creatures roaming Equestria. We must protect you in case they come here". said the guard.

Before Celestia could open her mouth Cheesy, Bhuna, Dermo and Judge exited their carriage.

"They're they are capture them!" shouted a guard.

All the guards in the area immediately sprung into action, attempting to tackle the four humans. However they done little more than shift them slightly and Cheesy hadn't been moved at all. The guards then looked at each other, confused as to why the human weren't moving resisting or even paying attention to them. The guards then tried to put a pair of hoof cuffs on the guys but they were too small. All the guards simply looked at the princess, who was giving them an angry look.

"These are our guests men, and I can safely say that they are sentient and mean nothing but good will." Celestia said sternly.

"We're sorry your majesty" said a guard as he bowed with the rest. "We had no idea".

The guards then turned to face the guys.

"We apologize for attacking you. We had no idea you were friendly" said a guard to Cheesy.

"Nae bother big man" Cheesy replied still staring blankly behind the guards.

"What are you guys looking at?" asked Rainbow.

Everypony stood in front of the guys and then Bhuna spoke. He took out a pare of black sunglasses, put them on and bit his lower lip before speaking.

"Dat castle" said Bhuna as him and the other three guys ran towards Canterlot castle with the small group of guards, Princess Celestia and the Elements in tole.

Author's Note

Sorry quite a short chapter but oh well

Chapter 7: Food and Hanging Around

Cheesy, Bhuna, Judge and Dermo made their way into the castle through the large golden doors. Celestia, the Elements and a small army of guards were following close behind. The guards being the ones on edge watching everything the humans did. After a few seconds of walking the guys stopped in front of a set of large double doors.

"Cheesy am fuckin stervin and am pritty share this is the dining room or kitchen or summin." said Judge wiping a strand of drool away with his hand.

"Awright then" said Cheesy.

"Hey Celestia. Dae ye mind if these three fannies git somethin tay eat?" asked Cheesy as he turned to the group of ponies behind him.

"Not at all. It's almost time for dinner anyway" said Celestia with a smile.

"Oh awright then" said Cheesy as he stepped towards the doors and swung them open with a hand.

"Would you girls like to have dinner here at the castle too" asked Celestia.

"It would be an honor" said Rarity.

"Well shucks yer majesty a would love too" said Applejack.

"Yeah sure" said Rainbow

"Yipee" shouted Pinkie

"Oh um... if that's OK with you your majesty" said Fluttershy.

"Of course your majesty" said Twilight.

"Well lets eat then shall we" said Celestia before walking into the dining hall and taking a seat at the head of the table.

"So whats on the menu?" asked Bhuna rubbing his hands together.

"I have informed the chef of you're arrival. So he is preparing a meat and vegetable dish for you." said Celestia with a smile.

"Are you sure thats a good idea. The chefs no gon tae faint cause he's cuttin meat or anyhing?" asked Cheesy with a metal smirk.

"Wait. When did you lose you're skin" asked Celestia slightly shocked.

"Ma skins no real. It's just an illusion" said Cheesy as skin faded over him and then vanished again.

"Why would you need that?" asked Rarity from across the table.

"To trick enemies" said Cheesy. "Were did he go. It can't be that guy he's got skin" Cheesy said with a grin.

"Does it work?" asked Rainbow.

"Naw" laughed Judge, Dermo and Bhuna.

"Right. The lot of yous. Shut yer pusses" said Cheesy angrily.

"He... fuckin tries tae trick armed soldiers... in warzones way nay civilians left in them!" said Judge in between gaspes of breath.

"Hey were you guys soldiers before you came here?" asked Twilight with a raised eyebrow.

"Pretty much. A mean we've fought in every universe we've been tae. So a guess we are soldiers but we're no way an army." said Cheesy with a shrug.

"Were have you been?" asked Luna entering the hall.

"Who's this then?" asked Dermo weakly trying to keep his heart from dying from adorableness overload.

"This is my sister Princess Luna. Also may I ask about you're heart. Is there something wrong with it?" asked Celestia with a worried look along with the Elements and Luna.

"He's got a perfectly fucked heart in his chest thanks to you lot and you're cuteness" laughed Cheesy.

"We caused this?" asked all the girls in unison.

"Aye yous are are fuckin adorable. You managed tae make ma brain short circuit in all." said Cheesy pointing towards Fluttershy. "Noo av been hit wae explosives bid enough to level this city and ma brains no ever short circuited. So thats some kind ay feet." finished Cheesy with a gentle metal smile at Fluttershy making her blush.

Dermo then promptly clutched his chest and fell out of his chair.

"Oh my goodness is he alright? I'll get a medical team right now." said Celestia before being hushed by Bhuna.

"Just let Cheesy handle this" said Bhuna.

Cheesy picked Dermo up and put him on the currently empty table. He then reached out with one massive hand and punched Dermo in the balls making him scream, weez and then fall off the table with a thud as he hit the floor.

"Why would you do that?" asked Luna

"Listen darlin it's no a medical thing Dermo's got. Yous are just really adorable." said Bhuna with a laugh.

"Ah here comes dinner." said Celestia grabbing everybody's attention.

The dinner was placed quickly on the table and the terrified kitchen staff fled the room.

"Oh my sweet fuck" said Judge as he looked at the massive piece of cooked meat in front of him.

"You made me something to eat?" asked Cheesy.

"Of course we did. You are guests after all" said Celestia with a smile. "Would you like something else instead?" asked Celestia.

"Naw its just that... av no ate in almost 200 years. Its a bit weird being served food" said Cheesy with a chuckle. "And naw a dinnae want anything else, a can eat anything. Its just for taste and fun now." continued Cheesy with a shrug.

"Can you really eat anything?" asked Rainbow

"Aye"

"...Prove it" said Rainbow with a grin.

Cheesy then promptly stood up from his chair turned around and picked up a guard. He pulled the guard's chest plate off and started chewing with no effort. After three seconds of chewing, the chest plate was gone and the guard was left stunned, along with, Judge, Bhuna, Dermo, Celestia, Luna and the Elements.

"Proof enough fur yae?" Cheesy said with a smile before sitting back down.

The other three humans then burst out laughing followed by everypony else apart from Rainbow, who was sitting with her mouth open in shock.

"Fuck sake. The look on you're faces was brilliant!" shouted Bhuna from the floor.

The rest of the dinner went by quickly.

"Well what dae yous want tae dae noo?" asked Cheesy.

"Well me and Luna don't have any other meetings or summits to attend, so should we all relax for a while?" Celestia asked with a smile.

"Quality, noo yur talkin ma language" said Bhuna

"Girls would you like to relax for a while with me, Luna and the boys?" asked Celestia.

"Yeah!" shouted Rainbow, Pinkie and Applejack.

"Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy, are you coming?" asked Celestia

"Of course" said Rarity.

"Um... alright then" said Fluttershy with a smile.

"OK then princess" chirped Twilight happily.

"Very well then. Shall we" said Celestia as she and Luna started walking down a corridor with the guys.

After literally minutes of walking they reached a blank white wall. However before anyone could speak, Celestia and Luna's horns started glowing and the wall faded away.

"Mental" said Dermo with a smile.

They all walked through the now see through wall and into a large room with a large couch, several seats, a bar, a pool table, a flat screen TV, a kitchen, a black jack table and a roulette table in it. The room was lit by a huge crystal on the ceiling which was painted half yellow with Celestia's cuitie mark and half blue with Luna's cutie mark.

"FUCKIN HELL!" shouted Cheesy, Bhuna, Dermo and Judge causing Celestia and Luna to giggle along with the Elements.

"Make yourselves comfortable and have some fun" Luna sang as she collapsed onto the couch with a smile.

"Nae danger darlin" said Cheesy as he reached a large wooden table with a pack of cards on it.

"Any of you girls wantin a game ae cerds?" asked Bhuna as he sat down at the table.

Applejack, Rainbow and Rarity sat down at the table with Bhuna, Cheesy and Dermo.

"Oi Judge, you wantin a game ae cerds?" shouted Bhuna as he shuffled the deck of cards.

Judge then approached the table with a big cheesy grin holding several bottles of cider in his hands.

"Fuck off..." Cheesy trailed off. "Is that cidre?"

"Aye. Girls you want a bottle?" asked Judge.

Applejack and Rainbow took a bottle while Rarity simply shook her head. "No I'm fine darling" Rarity said with a smile.

The cards were dealt and the game commenced. After a while the princesses and the rest of the Elements had gathered round to watch the game. Cheesy and Dermo were the only players left at this point.

"Well... whats it gonnae be Cheesy. Are you gonnae fold?" Dermo asked with a grin.

"Am a fuck" Cheesy said back with a face of concentration.

"Come on you've no got the cerds tae beat me Cheesy... look it yae your sweatin" said Dermo.

"You dinnae ken what av got" said Cheesy quickly.

"Ah ken what av got and a ken it's got you sweatin" Dermo said.

"Well watch and learn" said Dermo with a smirk as he placed his cards on the table so everyone could see. "Three tens and two sevens. Full hoos" Dermo laughed.

Dermo reached out to collect the large pile of jewels and bits that were on the table but was stopped by Cheesy who put his cards on the table. He had four queens.

"EIGHT TITTIES!" shouted Cheesy as he swung his right arm under his left wrist that was in the crook of his right elbow. "GET IT UP YAE YA FANNY!" Cheesy shouted before pocketing his winnings.

Everyone roared with laughter apart from Dermo, who was pouting with his arms crossed.

"Dick" he said before joining in the laughter.

Chapter 8: Hangovers and Bad Feelings

Celestia woke up groggily. Her head thumped and her eyes were very sensitive to the light. She was in her room, in her bed, with Bhuna lying next to her... wait. BHUNA LYING NEXT TO HER! She shot out of her bed and stared at him before she saw him stir. He rolled over on his side with a big grin plastered across his face.

"Gotcha" he said before he burst out laughing and fell off the bed.

The room filled with laughter as the Elements, Luna, Judge and Dermo burst into the room through the main door. They had obviously been listening from the other side.

"Uhhh... what time is it?" asked Celestia as she rubbed her head.

"It's still early sister. Don't worry I raised the sun for you" Luna said with kind smile as she nuzzled her sisters neck.

"Girls shouldn't you be getting back home now?" asked Celestia.

"Apparently nopony's getting in or out of Canterlot today princess. I spoke to Shining and he said there was a threat of some sort." said Twilight with a worried look.

"Hmm interesting. I'll have to find out whats wrong before something bad happens then." said Celestia as she got out of bed.

"Shouldn't we be armed if there's a threat?" asked Bhuna as he stood up from the floor.

"Aye" agreed Judge and Dermo.

"Well we'll find out what it is first, but I can't see it being dangerous enough for you to need those weapons." said Celestia with a chuckle.

"Awright then if you say so." said Bhuna with a shrug.

"Wait were is Cheesy?" asked Celestia.

"He said he was gonnae look fur summit but a dinnae ken what" said Bhuna with a shrug.

"Well I'm sure he'll be along soon" said Celestia. "You three should come with us to the throne room and find out whats going on though" said Celestia to the three guys.

"Awright bawbags what did a miss then?" asked Cheesy as he entered the room naked... wait.

"Aw fur fuck sake Cheesy pit some fuckin troosers on ya clatty bastard!" shouted Judge as he covered his eyes while the girls just blushed.

"Your just jelly cause your hung like a fuckin weezle" Cheesy laughed as he sipped on a mug of coffee... well a vase of coffee.

"Would you mind though?" asked all the girls in unison with faces all scarlet red.

"HNNNNNG!" choked Dermo as he clutched his chest and collapsed.

"Right lets go find oot what aw the fuss is aboot." said Bhuna as Cheesy de-skinned.

"Yes lets" said Celestia as Dermo stood back up.

The group walked down the halls of Canterlot Castle for several minutes before coming to another set of large golden doors. The doors swung open to reveal a throne room full of guards and one changeling queen.

"Hello Celestia" Chrysalis said weakly.

"What's she doing here?" asked Twilight, her horn beginning to glow.

"Please don't! I come in peace!" shouted Chrysalis sounding desperate.

"How do we know this isn't a trick?" asked Luna.

"Please you have to believe me" said Chrysalis sadly.

"...Fine..." said Celestia with a frown. " But if you try anything you will be dealt with quickly and swiftly" continued Celestia sternly.

"OH THANK YOU THANK YOU!" cried Chrysalis as she hugged Celestia's hooves.

"Right what the fucks gon on!" shouted Bhuna from the doorway where him, Cheesy, Judge and Dermo were standing.

Chrysalis screamed as she turned around to meet the voice, but instead locked eyes with a metal face with piercing blue eyes. She backed away and quickly used her magic to lift Cheesy but failed.

"What are those things?" asked Chrysalis with her back against the wall.

"They are guests in Canterlot and are not our enemies. However they will obliterate you if you threaten them or anypony without reason, so watch your step." said Celestia giving Chrysalis a glare.

"O-ok" Chrysalis squeeked out.

Chrysalis took a seat at a large round table along with Celestia, Luna, the Elements and the guys while the guards in the room moved to the walls.

"Now what is it you wish to say Chrysalis?" asked Celestia.

"Equis is in serious danger. Not just ponies but changelings, griffons, minotaurs and zebras" said Chrysalis with a look of fear.

"What poses this danger?" asked Celestia.

"My father" Chrysalis whispered.

"Wait, you're father? King of the changelings?" asked Celestia shocked. "He died thousands of years ago. My father fought him" said Celestia still shocked.

"Yes. But he is not the same anymore. He is a mindless creature now and will destroy everything in his path." said Chrysalis with a shake of her head. "Some changeling defected from the hive after we were banished and believed that my father could help us take Equestria. However I was strictly against the decision as I know that reanimating the dead will bring nothing but destruction." said Chrysalis with an angry look on her muzzle. "Some changelings got together and performed the ritual to bring back my father, and it worked. Their celebrations didn't last long though. He killed them and flew off further into the Badlands." Finished Chrysalis with tears welling up in her eyes. "I thought that I could help you in you're fight against my father I might have tried to overthrow you a few months ago but nopony deserves what my father will do. My father doesn't feed off love like other changelings. He and his ancient changeling fed off of death and destruction caused by them." said Chrysalis with a pleading look in her eye. "I beg you Celestia, help me and my children in our time of need and we will be forever in you're debt" finished Chrysalis with tears rolling down her cheeks.

Everypony was shocked by what they had just been told. This could mean all out war against an undead army of blood thirsty monsters. What were they meant to do?

"Well this soonds fucked up" said Bhuna from were he was sat at the table.

"Av got an idea" said Judge. "I'll bring a couple pals here to help. Am share they'll help if we told them whats happnin."

"Judge a dinnae think thats a gid idea, yur pals huvnae got a gid history ay gittin own wae new folk." said Cheesy hesitantly.

"Pish, al tell them whats happnin and they'll help" said Judge with a smile.

"Awright then, girls are you awright wae this?" asked Cheesy

"If they can help then they are welcome." said Celestia.

"Right then geez a minute" said Judge as he pulled out a grey disk from his coat pocket. He pushed a green button on it and threw it on the floor with a clang. Electricity started to arc out of the disk before rising into a white light and vanishing. Were the light once was were two tall creatures in dull gold armor. They had jaws of long sharp teeth and help strange weapons in their clawed hands. They had grayish skin which appeared to be cracked like stone. They looked around before they spotted Judge and dropped to their knees.

"Master" they both said in low voices that made them sound like they were whispering.

Chapter 9: First Contact

Celestia and Luna just stared at the two lucust standing before them, they didn't know what to do.

"Are they friendly?" asked Celestia turning to face Judge.

"Aye. Ah figured that having two more capable guards protecting the pair eh yous would be a gid idea." said Judge with a shrug.

"What are their names?" asked Luna.

"They dinnae have names. They're just called locust for now. Only the generals in they're armies have names." said Judge with yet another shrug. "You could name them if you want".

"Very well. What are their special talents?" asked Celestia.

"Hmmm. They're really gid at fighting, protecting and sneekin aboot" said Judge. "Just think ae them as you're personal elite body guards".

"Well... what would you like to be called?" said Celestia turning her attention to the locust in front of her.

The two locust's exchanged unsure looks before looking back at Celestia.

"War" said Celestia's guard.

"Death" said Luna's.

The two princesses exchanged they're own unsure looks before looking back at the locusts.

"Are you sure?" they both asked in unison.

"Yes..." War and Death said.

"Very well" said Celestia as War and Death stood beside their respectful princesses.

"Excuse me Judge, you mentioned War and Death's armies general's. What are they like?" asked Luna

"Dae ye want to meet them?" asked Judge with a smile.

"Fuck that" said Bhuna running out of the room.

"Yes I would" said Luna with a smile.

"Nae bother darlin" said Judge with a smile of his own.

Judge took out the small little disk and pushed the button on it like last time. He threw it on the floor and electricity started to arc out of it again. This time however what appeared from it was not the same as before. These three creatures were taller than War and Death and looked much... much more intimidating. The first to step forward was massive, he stood taller than Cheesy by at least four hooves (two feet), he was wearing a long black coat and carried a massive sword which he seemed to wield as a knife. The second of the three was smaller than the first but was just as intimidating. He had a long forked tongue that hung out of his large toothed jaws. He also held a long staff with a chainsaw on either end and another weapon on his side. The third was as tall as the first but only because of a large crest on his blood red armor. He held another of the weapons the second had on his side.

"Everybody. Meet general RAAM, Skorge and Karn" said Judge as the three generals walked to the center of the room.

RAAM then looked at Judge. "Yes master" he said in a voice similar to War and Death's but deeper.

"RAAM. We need you, Skorge and Karn's help tae fight an undead army" Judge said simply.

RAAM looked to his fellow generals who nodded in return. "Fine we shall help you master".

Suddenly the castle started to shake wildly as rubble fell from the ceiling. Everyone who wasn't a pony took a look towards the door.

"What was tha-" Luna was saying before being hushed by Cheesy.

"Somethins ootside." Cheesy said with a look towards the two princesses and the Elements.

The doors to the throne room swung open to reveal a battered Shining Armor. He had a dent in his helmet with blood running down his forehead.

"Shining Armor!" shouted Twilight as she ran to her brother's side.

"Their coming... get to safety" Shining Armor said before passing out.

"Right lads their right ootside and we're aw really oot numbered"Cheesy shouted with a grin as Bhuna reappeared with all their weapons. "Just the way a like it".

RAAM let his mouth twitch into a menacing smile which made everypony shiver. Skorge growled at the door and Karn let loose a frightening laugh. Bhuna, Judge, Dermo and Cheesy grabbed their respectful weapons and stood up to form a line between the door and the princesses and Elements. Judge looked at RAAM and nodded as the doors flew open to reveal hundreds of undead changelings. Cheesy revved up his drill and spun up his mini gun. Judge pulled out two Smith and Wesson 500. Magnums and leveled them at the changelings. Bhuna laughed and revved up his chainsaw. Dermo put his shield out in front of him and put Hammer next to it. RAAM unsheathed his knife. Skorge revved up his staff and Karn took out his Gorgon pistol.

"ATTACK" roared RAAM as they all charged into the changelings.

They fought for an hour holding off the changelings and only one changeling general remained. He was crawling towards the throne room, leaving a trail of his own green blood behind him. Fluttershy fainted as the changeling dragged himself through the throne room doors. The rest of the girls put a hoof to their muzzles. However before anypony could do anything, the sound of heavy boots hitting the floor was heard. It was a steady thumping that grew loader and louder until RAAM rounded the corner into the throne room. He looked around for a moment before resting his orange eyes on the changeling who was still crawling towards the girls. RAAM approached the wounded changeling and picked it up by the head, he brought it to eye level before speaking.

"DIE MISCREANT!" he shouted before slicing the changeling's head clean off. It's body fell but it's head remained in RAAM's massive hand. He looked at the head for a moment before throwing it over his shoulder, were it made contact with the wall and exploded.

"Well I actually think we might have a chance" said Chrysalis from were she hid behind Celestia.

Chapter 10: Getting Ready to Build.

RAAM stood before the princesses and Elements, soaked in green blood. He didn't say anything or do anything, he just stood. The girls were all frightened by RAAM. They didn't want to say anything to him for fear of him coming for them. To everypony's considerable surprise, Fluttershy was the first to speak up.

"Um... hello there mister RAAM, are you alright?" asked Fluttershy in a gentle voice.

"Fluttershy. What are you doing?" whispered Twilight.

"Judge said that they were friendly, so the least we can do is try to be polite. Even if they are scary" said Fluttershy.

"You are Fluttershy. Yes?" said RAAM as he looked down at her.

Fluttershy shrunk back a bit under his gaze. His face showed the same expression on it all the time and his orange eyes seemed to stare straight into her soul. It also didn't help that he was currently covered in blood and guts.

"Um yes" said Fluttershy as she looked straight into RAAM's eyes.

RAAM then crouched down quickly which made Fluttershy shrink down again. However before she could move away from him she felt something touch her hoof. She looked down and saw RAAM's massive hand wrapped around her hoof. He gave it a shake and even gave her a smile.

"Not many posses the courage to approach a locust general. You have my respect Fluttershy" said RAAM as he stood back up and wiped some blood off his armor.

"Fuckin hell..." Cheesy groaned as he walked into the throne room with Bhuna, Dermo, Judge, Karn and Skorge. All of which were covered in gore.

"I trust you took care of any other enemies?" said RAAM as he approached the headless changeling general.

"Aye. They fucks dinnae give up. Or retreat" said Bhuna running a hand threw his partly burned hair.

"Ah but you four are very good fighters, and have faced much worse than these puny welps" said RAAM kicking the headless corpse to the wall with the remains of it's skull.

"Well thanks fur the help lads, if we need yous again we'll find yous" said Judge with a nod towards the three locusts.

Skorge and Karn returned the nod while RAAM stepped towards Judge. They both then promptly shook hands before RAAM joined Skorge and Karn on the metal disk. The three of them then gave quick waves before vanashing.

"They three creep the fuck oot me" said Bhuna. " Especially RAAM, that big fuckers like Satan or summit".

"Ah thur gid guys, if yae try and ken thum" said Judge with a shrug.

"Right am wantin tae git our fuckin bunker built. Its still pretty early so if we git started we'll have it dun by the end ae the day" said Cheesy with a sigh.

"Would you consider helping clean the castle up first?" asked Celestia looking at the green blood that now stained the room.

"What dae yae hink wuv been dane fur the past hour?" asked Cheesy slightly shocked.

"WHAT!" shouted Celestia. "There were thousands upon thousands of changelings out there, there is no way you won in under and hour" Celestia said completely stunned.

"Listen darlin, we've fought hings three times the size ae they bastards in waves and finished in under an hour. They're no that hard tae kill and aw they did was fire wee bits ae fuckin fire it us. IT WASNNAE EVEN THAT FUCKIN HOT!" shouted Bhuna completely confused. "If thats wut yous are aw worried aboot then yous huv got nothing tae worry aboot".

Everypony just sat there stunned at how seemingly invincible these four humans were. Changeling magic is dark magic and it's very dangerous yet the guys seemed to just shrug it off with no effort.

"Alright I think we've all had a rough morning how about we get some breakfast" said Celestia regaining her composure.

"YALDI!" shouted Judge as he ran out of the room towards the dinning hall.

"Fanny" said Cheesy as he walked out after him followed by Bhuna and Dermo.

"Wait a minute were is War?" asked Celestia.

"In fact were is Death?" asked Luna.

"Princesses" said two raspy voices from behind them.

"Eep" squeeked Celestia and Luna as they spun round to see two dull golden figures kneeling before them.

"Oh, um... take a break and get something to eat" said Celestia with a smile.

"Meat" said the two guards.

"Hmmm. I'll inform the chef, just go to the barracks" said Celestia. "Oh and before you go just let me do something" said Celestia as her horn began to glow.

War and Death were enveloped in a golden glow before a flash erupted from them. When the light returned to normal the two locusts were wearing new armor. War had a jet-black trench coat with golden shoulder guards, shin guards and bracers. He also had the same helmet as before but it was black with gold trim and instead of the locust symbol, it had Celestia's cutie mark on it. Death was also had new armor. It was also jet-black but had dark blue shoulder guards, shin guards and bracers and on the helmet it had Luna's cutie mark. They both hissed before stepping forward and grabbing their respectful princess's hoof and letting out frightening laughs and leaving the throne room.

"Well your very creative big sister" Luna said with a laugh.

"I felt it was appropriate" Celestia said with a smile and a shrug.

"Lets go and see how the boys and the Elements are getting on" said Luna walking out of the throne room.

After several seconds of walking Celestia and Luna started hearing shouting. They hurried their pace before opening the dinning room doors.

"Right listen tae me ya wee fanny. Your goonae say your soory tae the lassy or am gonnae castrate yae wae a fuckin spoon!" shouted Cheesy to a frightened Blueblood.

"Whats going on in here?" asked Celestia.

"Bluebaws here called Rarity a tramp" said Cheesy with growl.

"Well she is!" shouted Blueblood from the other side of the massive mahogany dinning table.

"Am warnin you ya dick! Shut yur puss!" shouted Cheesy pointing a finger at the prince.

"Were is miss Rarity now?" asked Luna with a sigh.

"Probably outside with her silly friends and the other three apes!" shouted Blueblood with a chuckle.

Cheesy's eyes went red and he turned to face Blueblood. "RIGHT! COME HERE YA WE BAW BAG! AM GONNAE FUCKIN KILL YAE!" roared Cheesy as jumped over the table towards Blueblood.

Blueblood then suddenly vanished.

"Were the fuck...?" said Cheesy as he rubbed his head.

"Blueblood be gone! I do not wish to hear you insult our guests or the Elements of Harmony ever again!" shouted Celestia as Blueblood left the dinning room with his head hung in shame.

"Well... that escalated quickly" said one of the guards standing at the door. Who had a pretty nice brown mustache.

"Lets go find the three boys and the rest of the girls" said Celestia with a smile towards Cheesy.

"Aye am fuckin pissed the noo" said Cheesy with a smile.

The two princesses and Cheesy walked to a nearby balcony which faced out to the gardens. They could see the group they were looking for.

"Well lits git doon there then" said Cheesy as he cracked his neck.

"Well the stairs are-" said Luna before Cheesy jumped of the balcony and landed on the ground below with a fairly loud thud.

Celestia looked at Luna and they both flew over the balcony ledge and landed next to Cheesy who was brushing some dust off himself.

"Was that called for?" asked Luna with a giggle.

"Naw" said Cheesy with a laugh.

The two princesses and Cheesy approached the group of six ponies and three humans. Dermo was on the ground clutching his chest and Rarity was on a bench weeping into Applejack's mane. She the stopped crying when Celestia put a wing around her.

"Its alright Rarity. Blueblood has been handled with by me" said Celestia with a smile.

"He's a dick" said Bhuna crossing his arms. "Fuckin calls me an ape and then fuckin insults Rarity in all? Dick"

The girls all giggled at Bhuna's short rant which made Dermo collapse again.

"Dermo thats fuckin pissin me aff. Git yur fuckin heart sorted or al fuckin pill it oot and shove a fuckin totty in their instead" said Judge.

"Right am gonnae start buildin this bunker now. So the three ae yous hurry the fuck up and meet me doon in Ponyville" said Cheesy as he started walking towards the main gate.

Chapter 11: Mental Issues

Bhuna, Dermo Judge and the Elements took the train to Ponyville. The journey was fairly short only a few minutes, but it still felt long. The train cart was large by pony standards and the guys could sit in it as long as they sat on the floor. Cheesy had made the choice to walk to Ponyville which confused the others.

"Nice train" said Judge as he looked around the cart they were sat in.

"Why do you guys want to build a bunker anyway?" asked Rainbow as she hovered in front of Bhuna's face.

"I don't know" said Bhuna as he stared at Rainbow which made her flinch slightly.

"Wow how'd you do that?" asked Rainbow slowly.

"What... the stare?" asked Bhuna.

"Well that and whats up with your voice?" asked Rainbow confused.

"Well my stare comes from insanity and the four of us have a combined age of over 100,000 years. We can change our accent to help people or ponies understand." said Bhuna calmly.

"Wait you're insane?" asked Twilight slightly shocked.

"Yep I'm fuckin mental. In fact all four of us are clinically insane" said Bhuna.

"You don't act insane" said Fluttershy quietly.

"That is only because you haven't done anything to really piss us off" said Bhuna with a large toothy grin that made everypony freeze.

"Looks like we're here" said Dermo as he looked out the window.

"No fuckin way!" said Judge as he looked out a window.

Everyone looked out any nearby window they could reach and everyone got the same surprise. On the train station platform was Cheesy, who was talking to a white unicorn with a pare of black rimmed purple glasses on and a gray earth pony. The guys and the Elements exited the train and approached Cheesy who had a smile on his face along with some blood.

"What happened to you?" asked Bhuna as he looked at the blood.

"Well I've got good news and bad news for you Twilight. Which would you like first?" asked Cheesy.

"Umm can I here the good news first?" asked Twilight

"You're brother and his wife came to visit you" Cheesy said with a smile.

"What? Shining and Cadence are here?" asked Twilight with a huge smile.

"Yep"

"Oh wait whats the bad news?" asked Twilight

"You're brother attacked me and I stabbed him in the kidney with a piece of metal" Cheesy said as he rubbed his metal neck.

"YOU WHAT!" shouted Twilight as she ran to her house.

Everyone ran to Twilight's house as fast as they could. When they got there Cadence was sat holding Shining Armor with a wing. He had bandages around his chest, his right foreleg, his waist and his neck.

"Twily!" shouted Shining as he hugged his little sister.

"Twilight!" shouted Cadence as she joined in the hug.

A thud was herd from the door way and the sound of someone gasping for breath. Bhuna and Cheesy sighed while Judge shouted.

"Oh fur fuck sake Dermo!" Judge shouted before being hit on the back of the head by Cheesy.

"Talk normally or the readers will get pissed off with us" whispered Cheesy to Judge.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Judge completely confused.

"The better question would be: why did you attack my brother Cheesy?" asked Twilight with a frown.

"Look I only roughed him up a bit cause he attacked me thinking I was a monster or some such shit" said Cheesy

"Roughed him up a bit!" shouted Twilight. "He's lucky to be alive!"

"OK I might have mauled him a bit more than I meant to, but come on this place is so friendly. I haven't killed something in over three hours" said Cheesy with sigh.

"Look Twily its fine. I talked to him and me and Cadence are sure that they're not here to hurt anypony" said Shining with a smile.

"Right I think we've all had a really rough afternoon" said Cheesy. "Why don't all of you come over to the bunker tonight for a drink".

"How could you have built the fuckin bunker in. What? fifteen minutes?" said Bhuna with a laugh.

"It's magic I don't have to explain shit" said Cheesy as he walked out of Twilight's house.

"Were is the bunker?" asked Twilight

"The entrance is in that forest. The same place were we found our guns. I made a path outside Fluttershy's cottage, it'll lead you right to the bunker" said Cheesy from outside. "Oh how are you gonna be big man?"

"I'll be fine, and if you don't mind I'll be coming too" said Shining with a smirk.

"I like that boy. I about maul him to death in two seconds and he wants to have a drink about it" said Cheesy with a laugh.

Several hours later the Elements, Cadence and Shining stood in front of a small stone path lit by lanterns. They walked through the woods which didn't look that scary anymore until they all reached the clearing. There was a metal building in the center that was twice the size of the average Ponyville house. It had a massive set of double doors on the front and had a large symbol on the front of it. The symbol was a skull covered in blue fire and made everypony feel uneasy. However before anypony could move a screen came to life next to the door, on stood Cheesy, who saw the eight ponies and smiled. The screen then went black and a hiss was heard from the doors. They then promptly slid open to reveal an empty room. A feminine robotic voice was then heard.

"Please step onto the elevator" said the voice.

Everypony did so and the room lit up. The doors then closed and everypony felt the floor suddenly shift. After several seconds the doors slid open to reveal Cheesy who smiled when he saw them, he also had a curly black mustache as well.

"Ah our guests have arrived" said Cheesy with a bow.

The room the elevator led into was massive. The ceiling was at least 28 hooves high (14 feet) and was covered in large lights. The room they were in had the same stuff as the princesses private room did but just... bigger. They're were also several doors on the far left wall that had signs above them. One had armory, one had drill, one had supplies, another had clinic and one had level 2.

"Well take a seat. Make yourselves at home, all that pish" said Cheesy. "Want a drink?"

"Ummm what do you have?" asked Shining still shocked at how quickly Cheesy had built the bunker.

"Everything" said Cheesy with a smirk and a laugh.

"You got cider?" asked Rainbow and Applejack in unison.

"Oh yes we do" Cheesy sang as he lifted a massive metal drum out from behind the bar. "You lot want some?"

Everypony smiled and nodded. Cheesy quickly poured everyone a glass of cider and handed them out. Applejack took a big swig of cider and gasped along with Rainbow.

"That the best cider I've ever drank" said Rainbow.

"It's amazin" said Applejack as she wiped a tear out of her eye.

A loud bang was heard from below them and moments later Bhuna came running in with black soot all over his face.

"Hello everyone" Bhuna waved happily. "Cheesy we've got a problem"

"What is it?" asked Cheesy.

"Somethings wrong with the drill" said Bhuna.

"Well fix it then, you're the mecanic" said Cheesy with a shrug.

"I fix electronics and ships not giant drills" Bhuna said angrily.

"Right, I'll fix it then. Hey you lot want to see the biggest drill you've ever seen?" asked Cheesy with a laugh.

Chapter 12: Anger & Names

"Did you say drill?" asked Twilight as she, Cadence, Shining and the rest of the Elements followed Cheesy and Bhuna threw several doors and down a small elevator.

"Yes I did" said Cheesy.

"Why would you need a giant drill?" asked Fluttershy slightly scared by the thought of the drill.

"Mining" said Cheesy simply.

"Right we're here" said Bhuna.

In front of the group there were two large metal doors. The sound of muffled shouting and banging could be heard behind the door. Cheesy stepped forward and pushed the doors open to reveal two soot covered humans messing around with a long panel covered in dials buttons and levers. Cheesy walked over to Judge and Dermo and stood a few feet away from them. He just stood with an "are you serious face".

"What the fuck are you two baw sacks doing" asked Cheesy.

"Fixin the fuckin drill controls. What does it look like?" said Judge slightly irritated.

"The generator isn't even fuckin on you twat!" Cheesy shouted.

Cheesy walked over to a large metal engine and started pulling levers. After several seconds a loud rumble was heard. The sound of metal grinding against metal then sounded along with a deep masculine robotic voice.

"Coring Platform online. Attention all hands obstruction detected. Please clear to resume drilling" the voice boomed from all around them.

"Obstruction detected?" asked Cheesy. "That drill can carve threw anything. What the fucks blocking it?".

The wall just above the long panel slid up to reveal glass windows. What everyone saw shocked them. Threw the windows was a gigantic chamber with a huge drill in the center. The drill was a crimson red and was currently being examined by another black dragon. This dragon was much bigger than the one the guys previously fought and was wrapped around the drill like it was giving it a hug.

"Well fuck my ass, that things fuckin massive" said Bhuna.

"....Turn the drill on...." said Cheesy in a deep menacing voice.

"It is on" said Dermo. "That big bastards holding it still".

"Put the drill on maximum power. That'll shake the fucker off" said Cheesy.

"Do you think that's safe?" asked Bhuna.

"Just do it!" shouted Cheesy.

Bhuna ran to the panel and started to pull levers and hit buttons. The drill roared again and started to slowly twist. The dragon wasn't happy about this and tried to grab on tighter. However as the power in the drill built up it grabbed the dragon's wing and promptly tore it off. The dragon was flung into the wall as the drill started to smash along the metal floor. The dragon let loose a jet of white hot fire onto the drill. The drill made a loud banging sound and lifted off the floor and into the air but continued spinning.

"Fault detected. Drill core at seventy five percent capacity" boomed the robotic voice. "Resuming operations in five... four... three... two... one. All hands, clear the deck".

"That big bastards gonna wreck the drill!" shouted Judge.

"I've got an idea" said Rainbow.

"Shoot" said Cheesy turning his attention to Rainbow.

"Try and knock it out somehow" said Rainbow.

"Hmmm. Right then" said Cheesy as he approached the door to the chamber.

"Wait are you going to go and fight that thing unarmed?" asked Shining shocked.

"Well....yes" said Cheesy confused.

Cheesy then swung the door open and ran towards the dragon. It saw him coming and swung its giant claw at him. Cheesy ducked under the claw and jumped onto the dragon's arm. He ran up the arm the the dragons head and stood on it's nose.

"Night night fanny baws!" Cheesy shouted before swinging his fist into the dragon's face with all his strength.

The dragon's skull cracked on impact which caused it to collapse onto the floor. Right under the drill.

"Fault detected. Drill core at fifty percent capacity. Resuming operations in five...four...three...two...one. All hands clear the deck" boomed the robotic voice once more before the drill roared to life and fell towards the dragon's torso.

The dragon roared before being torn apart by the drill. The drill rattled furiously against the dragon's ribs and one of it's blades flew off and dug into the wall. The drill groaned and rattled before jamming momentarily and spinning out onto the floor again.

"ALL HANDS ABANDON DRILL, ABANDON DRILL!" roared the voice before the drill spun off it's railing and smashed into the wall.

"Fatal fault detecte-ed all s-ss-systems shutting doooowwwwn-"

"Fuck me that was mental" said Bhuna quietly.

"Cheesy!" shouted Judge.

"What?" asked Cheesy from the doorway.

"Oh thank goodness you're alright" said Rarity.

"Aww you're too kind sweetheart" said Cheesy with a bow.

"Umm Cheesy?" asked Twilight

"What?"

"You said before that you're names were just nicknames right?" asked Twilight.

"Yes"

"Well whats you're real name?" asked Twilight.

"Well, my name's Artemus, Bhuna's name is Seragus, Dermo's name is Magnus and Judge's name is Viagol" finished Artemus with a smile.

"Well I think if we're going to be doing this sort of thing a lot then we should probably know you're names" said Twilight with a smile.

"Right then I'm shattered. Anybody up for a drink?" asked Artemus

"You bet" said everyone in unison.

"Quality!" shouted Seragus with a laugh.

Chapter 14: The Journey part 2

The ponies all walked into the gigantic metal war machine and followed Artemus to a set of massive stairs. The inside of the tank was a dull gray with nothing on them apart from a few rivets. The area they were in was large but not the full length of the tank. The ponies simply assumed that the engine was at the front and the back half was a cargo bay of sorts. Artemus was talking with Seragus, Magnus and Viagol. They nodded at each other and the latter three climbed the stairs and vanished out of sight.

"Right then it's gonna take us a while to get to Manehattan so take a seat or have a look around" said Artemus.

The ponies looked at each other and sat on some nearby benches. Artemus sat opposite them with a look of thought plastered across his metal face. His glowing blue eyes never blinking or moving. Everypony took a moment to actually look at Artemus, pay attention to what he looked like. Some of them could hear a soft whirring noise coming from his chest while others looked at how his arms were held by what looked like pistons. They all stopped looking and instead started adjusting their weapons. Artemus took notice of Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, who were starring at their weapons with sad looks on their muzzles.

"Are you girls alright?" asked Artemus. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy both looked up at Artemus with tears forming in their massive eyes.

"I don't think I can do this" said Pinkie Pie.

"Neither do I" said Fluttershy.

"Hurting ponies isn't right, violence is never the answer" said Pinkie as her mane deflated.

"Pinkie. These changelings aren't ponies and they certainly don't care about who they hurt" said Twilight as she hugged Pinkie.

"Twilight's right. If all they were doing was causing a bit of trouble, then me and the lads wouldn't have pulled the Ratte out. But when you're talking about families being murdered and cities being burned to ash. That's when you take action. If a species needs to kill and destroy to survive, then they need to be wiped out" said Artemus putting a reassuring metal hand around Pinkie and Fluttershy's shoulder.

"You know what, I think I can do this" Pinkie said as she put on a determined face.

"Yeah. If they kill ponies just for fun they should get a taste of their own medicine" said Fluttershy looking slightly angry.

Artemus smiled and sat back in his chair. He took this time to have a look at the ten guards Shining had brought along with him. They looked ready but not confident.

"So are they the best guards you have or what?" asked Artemus.

"Yes. They are the ones I believe to be the most reliable in my guard" said Shining.

"Hmmm. Rank!" shouted Artemus at the guards.

Ten ranks ranging from lieutenant to major were shouted out followed by ten salutes.

"Do you have a rank? If you don't mind me asking sir" asked a stallion guard.

"Yes I fought in over thirty different armies and each time gained a rank of five star general" said Artemus with a smile. "So I'm sort of like a one hundred and fifty star general if you think about it".

"Wow that's impressive" said Shining with a smile.

"I hope so. I'd hate to think that I fought for almost forty five thousand years and it wasn't impressive" laughed Artemus.

"Hey Artemus. Whats under that tarp?" asked Rainbow

"Oh. That's Seragus' Warthog" said Artemus pointing a thumb at the tarp behind him.

"He keeps a warthog under a tarp? Why?" asked Twilight.

"Not the animal" said Artemus as he walked over to the tarp and pulled it off.

Underneath the tarp was a four wheeled car with a massive plate of spikes on the front and a quadruple barreled chain gun on the back. It was painted jet-black and had a crimson red streak going right up the center.

"Cool, what does he use that for?" asked Rainbow with a smile.

"Plowing through hordes of enemies in second and making as much mess possible in the process" said Artemus as he sat back down on the bench.

"Artemus would you mind telling me what these suits are made of? Whatever it is it's simply fabulous" said Rarity as she examined her suit.

"The metal parts are made from titanium and the soft parts are made of kevlar woven with steel" said Artemus. "The suites are also lined with fire proof materials and are water proof, wind proof, bullet proof and stab proof".

"That's amazing. Something so soft can be so resilient and light" said Rarity with a giggle.

"Artemus would you mind explaining how our weapons work and what they do?" asked Twilight.

"Alright then. Twilight you're weapon is called a sniper rifle, so you'll be sticking with Viagol when we get to Manehattan. It is designed to fire long distances with extreme power and be very accurate. Rainbow I gave you an SMG because it's fast and light, sorta like you. It's designed to be compact and easy to handle but still be powerful. Applejack we gave you a shot gun because you seem like you'd be good at close quarters combat. Shotguns are designed to spread out in a wide range with brutal power, so don't try and shoot anything more than fifteen feet away. Pinkie Pie I gave you an LMG because I figured you'd be better at supporting ponies. LMG's are machine guns with big magazines for long time firing. They're very good for suppressing enemy positions and clearing out multiple enemies quickly. Fluttershy I gave you a mini gun filled with pulse rounds. So it's very quiet and won't kill anything unless you flick the little switch on the bottom. Right now if you shoot anything with it they will be stunned for about an hour, but if you flick the switch they will receive a shock that will rupture their organs and destroy their bodies. Mini guns are usually fitted to vehicles and used to pepper areas with massive fire power. Rarity I gave you a rifle because you like to be clean. So this rifle has been designed to kill a target but draw little to no gore from them. Rifles like yours are typically used for stealth operations and hunting. Shining I gave you a machine gun prototype. It fires tiny 10mm caseless rounds using super conductive magnets to throw them at targets at incredible speeds. The rest of you were given assault rifles, which are commonly used for their power and accuracy. They are standard issue weapons in almost every army that has them and fire 5.56mm rounds. If you have an automatic weapon then you are advised to fire in short bursts to be more accurate and conserve ammo. Don't spray and pray but if you have a shot at an enemy take it. Also you're suits are equipped with a hud that you can see. It will tell you, the condition of you're suit, how much ammo you have and how close to dying you are. Remember these suits will make you extremely resistant to damage but you're not invincible. Don't try and be a hero and don't be stupid. If you fuck around in a fire fight you might as well shoot yourself and save the enemy the trouble". Said Artemus.

The seventeen ponies nodded and went back to talking among each other. After several minutes a radio on the wall behind the ponies cracked to life.

"Yo Artemus, there's a pony standing in the middle of the road. What do we do?" said Seragus through the radio.

"Stop the tank. I'll have a look" said Artemus as he picked up a shotgun.

"Hey what are you doing?" asked Twilight shocked.

"It might be a trap" said Artemus with looking back.

The back of the tank opened slightly and Artemus climbed out. He walked around to the front of the tank and saw a pony standing with a cloth covering it's face. Artemus noticed it was a filly due to the size. However what Artemus noticed above all else was that she was covered in deep cuts and was completely silent. Artemus took the cloth off her face and saw that her eyes had been removed. The ponies were watching the whole thing on a monitor inside the tank. Artemus stood up to his full height and fired the shotgun into a nearby bush. A large dog fell out and before anything else could happen Artemus fired another shot into some trees behind him causing another large dog to fall out dead. Several snarls were heard from the trees and bushes around Artemus.

"Oh no Diamond Dogs" said Twilight.

"Well what are we waiting for we need to go help Artemus" said Rainbow.

"I'd be more worried about the dogs you lot mentioned" said Seragus through the radio.

"Why?" asked Rainbow.

"Because Artemus will kill every single one of them in seconds if he gets the chance. When children get murdered, he goes fucking mental. Children shouldn't be touched in war and certainly not used as fucking decoys. To be honest with you I feel sorry for those dogs" said Seragus.

Several shrieks of pain and agony were heard from outside the tank. When everypony looked on the monitor they almost screamed. The entire area in front of the tank was covered in blood, organs, limbs and bone. One dog was left crawling along the ground whining and coughing up blood and broken teeth. Artemus then walked over to the dog kicked it over and ripped it's arm clean off. He then proceeded to beat the dog to death with the appendage before throwing it on the ground and walking back around to the back of the tank. When he walked in, all he got were shocked stares from the ponies with Rarity ready to faint. Artemus was completely covered in blood and even had an eye hanging from his chest. Artemus simply looked at himself and then the ponies.

"What?"

Chapter 15: Manehattan Day 1

The ponies couldn't shake the shock of how brutal Artemus was in dealing with the Diamond Dogs. In the space of around ten seconds Artemus had killed nearly twenty dogs. He then walked in and shrugged it off like it was nothing.

"Alright that's plenty" said Artemus with a roll of his robotic eyes. "If you lot are shook off from that, I'm actually worried some of you might be scarred for life when we get to Manehattan".

"How did you do that so quickly?" asked Twilight with shocked amazement.

"I have hydraulics in my arms and legs. I call it combat hydraulics. It basically makes me run faster, jump higher and hit harder" said Artemus with a grin.

The ponies finally snapped themselves out of their trans and sat back down. They all started to feel a bit worried now that the time was drawing closer. Shining was curious though. Artemus said that they would get experience from this fight. What kind of experience?

"Hey Artemus. What kind of experience will we all get from this fight" asked Shining.

"By the time we're finished here, you'll all be trained in guerrilla warfare, weapons handling, explosive handling and stealth" said Artemus.

"Whats guerrilla warfare. Are we gonna dress up like monkeys?" asked Pinkie regaining her poofy mane.

"No. Guerrilla warfare is a form of irregular warfare in which a small group of combatants including, but not limited to, armed civilians or "irregulars" using military tactics, such as ambushes, sabotage, raids, petty warfare, the element of surprise, and extraordinary mobility to dominate a larger and less-mobile traditional army, or strike a vulnerable target, and withdraw almost immediately. However we won't be withdrawing until every one of those fuckers is laying in a pile of it's own organs and blood" said Artemus with a grunt.

"So we'll be setting traps and ambushes then?" asked Shining.

"Well I'm guessing Manehattan has a lot of tall buildings, narrow side streets and wide open main streets so yes" said Artemus with a shrug.

The tank lumbered on for another hour or so. During that time everypony talked among themselves and tried to make each other feel better. Artemus noticed Applejack looking rather down as she looked at a picture of her family. It was a picture of Big Mac, Applebloom and Granny Smith.

"You'll see them again darlin" Artemus said as he put a hand on Applejack's shoulder.

"Ah know but ah can't help but worry about them" said Applejack with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Listen darlin. As long as I'm still breathing, I promise you that I'll get you back home. Alright?" said Artemus with a smile.

"Thank ya Artemus" said Applejack as she whipped away tears with a hoof.

"Nae bother darlin".

The radio cracked to life again which made everyone go silent. There was a pause before Seragus spoke up.

"....Right we're here...." said Seragus.

"Whats wrong with you?" asked Artemus.

"Well I've got good news and bad news".

"Give us the good news".

"It looks like all the ponies got out safe".

Everyone sighed in relief. At least no ponies were killed.

"Whats the bad news?" asked Artemus.

"The changeling bastards have fortified the western part of the city" said Seragus. "Wait it looks like there are some ponies down there. I think they're fighting the changelings".

"It's probably the city guard" said Shining.

"OK everyone huddle up" said Artemus.

Everyone got into a circle to listen to Artemus.

"We're not going to go in guns blazing just yet alright? We're gonna be smart and get in unnoticed. Then we're gonna destroy them from the inside out" said Artemus. He received twenty nods. "OK does everyone have their gear? Plenty of ammo?"

"Yeah" said everyone.

"OK good, me and the lads are gonna get armored up. We won't be long" said Artemus as he and the rest of the guys disappeared into a room further down the tank. About five minutes later they all returned wearing jet-black trench coats. The coats had dark gray shoulder guards and wrist guards. Underneath the coats were dark gray metal vests that had belts of bullets strung across them. On their heads they wore dark gray helmets and gas masks with red eyes.

"Right Twilight you and Viagol are going to stick to the perimeter of the city. We'll mark targets for you and you'll drop them, alright?" asked Artemus.

"Got it" said Twilight with a determined look on her face.

"Applejack, Rainbow and Fluttershy, you're with Seragus. You guys will help ambush targets on the main streets"

"Got it" said Applejack, Rainbow and Fluttershy sporting the same determined look as Twilight.

"Pinkie Pie, you're going with Magnus. You'll be supporting the other teams from the buildings"

"Okey-dokey-lokey!" Pinkie chirped happily.

"Shining? You and you're guys are coming with me. We're gonna be doing a little bit of everything. That includes setting traps, supporting the other teams and generally fucking shit up big time" said Artemus.

"How long do you think we're going to be here?" asked Rainbow.

"Two days max" said Artemus

"OK" said Rainbow with a snort. "Let's do this".

The back of the tank opened up and they all exited. Shining stopped when he got out.

"Twily! Be safe" said Shining as he hugged Twilight.

"You too Shining" said Twilight with a smile.

"I really wish you lot would have more faith in us. We're not gonna let you die, period. You don't get to die unless we say so you got that" said Artemus with a stern look towards everyone. "Alright then lets go".

The groups split up. Twilight and Viagol took position on a tall hill just outside of Manehattan. Pinkie Pie and Magnus ran up a pile of rubble that led into a string of partially wrecked building. Rainbow, AJ, Fluttershy and Seragus ran into one of the main streets and took cover behind a large pile of rubble that blocked the street. Artemus, Shining and the guards ran through the main street and into some side streets heading for the changeling strong hold that had been built. Artemus had a bag slung over his shoulder.

"Whats in the bag?" asked Shining in a hushed voice.

"Enough explosives to wreck a large town" said Artemus as he scanned the street for hostiles. "OK I've got visual on four changelings".

"I don't know why we're using all these tactics. They're virtually feral. They won't be using any kind of tactics" said Twilight over the radio.

"We told you lot about the locusts right?" asked Artemus receiving multiple yes's in return. "Well when they first appeared, that's what everyone thought about them to. They thought they were just stupid creatures who just used brute force. But they had the generals fooled they were using tactics the whole time. So it wouldn't surprise me if these fannies are doing the same".

"That....actually makes sense" said Twilight.

"Oh bollocks. Hey Seragus you've got a patrol coming you're way. Wait for them to pass or take them out quietly" said Artemus.

"Copy that".

The sound of a struggle and bones breaking was heard from the street.

"We're good" said Seragus.

"Pinkie. Do you see anything?" asked Rainbow over the radio.

"Not yet Dashie".

"Artemus there's a group of changelings entering the side street" said Viagol.

"No problem, we'll let them pass and then move into that cafe across the street. Alright?" Artemus asked told the soldiers behind him.

"Yes sir" they all replied with quick salutes.

The eleven ponies and Artemus ran across the fairly narrow side street and into an abandoned cafe. Once they had cleared the door he placed a small block on the door way and then strung a wire to the other side were he then pinned it into the wall.

"Whats that?" asked Shining.

"It's a shrapnel bomb tripwire. Basically if any changelings follow us through here the bomb will explode and cave in the wall, killing them in the process" said Artemus.

"Won't that draw attention to us?" asked one of the guards from the other side of the cafe were he was watching the street.

"No it'll look like the buildings just collapsed" said Artemus.

(Meanwhile in the nearby buildings)

Pinkie Pie walked next to Magnus as they stalked a group of changelings on the street from the building adjacent to them.

"What do we do?" whispered Pinkie.

"Just leave them there going into the side street Artemus just went into. If they bump into them he'll waist them" said Magnus.

Suddenly a noise was heard behind them. Magnus turned ready to kill and was surprised to see a black armored Theron Guard standing behind them in a partially destroyed hallway.

"Hey everybody, I thought we could do with some help so I brought some Elite Theron Guards here to help us" said Viagol.

(Inside the changeling stronghold)

A tall armored changeling stood before a large green crystal ball. On the ball was a massive black changeling that sat on a throne made of dead ponies.

"My king we have taken control of west Manehattan. We are scouting out the buildings in the area looking for any other ponies who are hiding" said the changeling general.

"Excellent. You have done well my soldier" said the changeling king in a deep voice.

A quiet thud was heard outside the stronghold walls causing the changelings in the room to turn and look.

"What was that?" asked the general. "You two go check it out".

Two changelings walked out into the street. It was pitch black and completely silent outside. The sun had set moment ago and made way for the night. A nearby bin was knocked over and a quiet hissing was heard from the darkness all around the two changelings.

"Hostilesssss....."

"What was that?" asked the first changeling.

"Don't worry it's probably just the wind" said the second changeling.

"Yeah right. When was the last time the wind said 'hostiles' to you?" said the first changeling.

The second changeling was about to reply when he and his companion were pulled into the darkness and killed by a pair of white skinned black armored creatures.

"Puny creaturessss" hissed the theron guard as it stalked it's way into the changeling stronghold under the cover of darkness.

Chapter 16: Manehattan Day 2

Artemus, Shining and the guards moved silently through the Manehattan side streets. The night had arrived and the entire city was completely dark. The side streets were narrow but still wide enough for fighting as everyone would find out.

"I wish Viagol had fuckin told us he was bringing Theron guards here" Artemus said in a hushed voice.

"Are they any good at what they do?" asked Shining from behind Artemus.

"Yes they're quality at what they do. It's just I wish he would have told us or asked us before bringing them here that's all" said Artemus.

(Meanwhile in the buildings.....)

"Hey there mister" Pinkie chirped happily as the Theron guard walked into the room with her and Magnus.

"Hello Pinkie Pie" the Theron guard said with a low hiss.

"What's up mate?" asked Magnus, giving the Theron guard a nod which he returned in kind.

"Hey how do you know my name?" asked Pinkie.

"Master Viagol told me and my comrades the names of you, you're friends and Twilight's brother" said the Theron guard.

"How many Theron guards are there?" asked Magnus.

"It's not just Theron guards that have been brought here. Among me and my four comrades there are also a Kantus, two Boomers, five drones and five grenadiers" said the Theron guard.

"Well then that could be helpful" said Magnus.

"Hey what are you're friends like mister?" asked Pinkie with a smile.

"They are-" the Theron guard was silenced by the sound of gunfire and explosions. ".....Never mind....."

(Meanwhile on the Manehattan main streets)

"What are those things?" asked AJ slightly shocked by the large locusts standing in front of her.

"The two big ones are Boomers and the tall lanky bastard's a Kantus monk" said Seragus while shooting over the pile of rubble he, Rainbow, AJ and Fluttershy were taking cover behind.

"Well the Boomers like blowing stuff up but what does the Kantus do?" asked Rainbow.

"You know what Fluttershy I think you and the Kantus will get on great!" said Seragus. "Watch Rainbow. Hey Kantus come here for a minute!"

"Yes master Seragus?" asked the Kantus.

"You know who this is?" asked Seragus pointing at Fluttershy.

"Yes it's Fluttershy" said the Kantus

"Well she's the Element of Kindness, so would you teach her the healing scream?" asked Seragus.

The Kantus nodded and stepped towards Fluttershy. He stopped and extended his hand to touch her forehead. Fluttershy's eyes started glowing for a second before she started to slowly rise from the ground.

"Riiiiiiiise!" screamed the Kantus before Fluttershy fell to the ground and gasped. "Know Fluttershy.....screeeaaaam!"

"Um...OK...here I go...............yay" yelled Fluttershy in a quiet soft voice.

"No.....again louder!" said the Kantus as a green bolt of magic shot over him.

A drone got hit in the chest by a large bolt of magic and was sent sprawling to the ground in front of Fluttershy.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" screamed Fluttershy surprisingly loudly causing everyone apart from the Kantus to stare open mouthed at her. As she screamed she glowed and the drone in front of her started glowing a pale yellow. The drone then let out a battle cry before looking at Fluttershy.

"Thank you Flutter Pony!" yelled the drone before running off towards the changeling in the street to help his comrades.

"Boom!" yelled a Boomer as it lumbered past the group and fired it's boomshot into a squad of changelings, blowing them to pieces.

"How...how did I do that" asked Fluttershy slightly scared.

"You-" the Kantus was cut off by a loud roar and the sound of loud thumping.

"What is that?" asked Seragus as he loaded another four shells into his shotgun.

"Holy fuck! Yo lads you've got a big ass bear walking down the main street towards you. Might want to think about using something a bit bigger or get the fuck out of there" said Viagol over the radio.

"Big ass bear? What the fuck are you on about?" asked Artemus over the radio.

"It's an Ursa Major! Run!" shouted Twilight through the comms.

"Are you sure it isn't an Ursa Minor Twilight?" asked AJ worriedly.

"Nope it's an Ursa Major. The changeling strongholds on fire as well!" shouted Twilight.

"That will be the Theron guards" said Seragus.

"FALL BACK!" shouted a drone as it ran past the Kantus.

The Kantus looked down the street and saw a giant black bear with glowing green eyes lumbering down the street towards them.

"What are we gonna do?" asked Rainbow.

Without warning a loud bang was heard from behind them and the Ursa Major vanished in a cloud of fire and blood. They all turned to see the Ratte's turret aimed at were the Ursa Major had been standing with large clouds of smoke spewing from the ends of both barrels.

Everyone converged on the street. Artemus returned with Shining and the guards, Viagol returned with Twilight and Magnus returned with Pinkie Pie.

"Holy fuck! Who fired the gun!" shouted Artemus.

"That would be me" said a familiar voice from behind them.

"Princess Luna?" asked the Elements in unison.

"Yes I'm sorry that I had to end the beast's life but it had to be done" said Luna with a solemn look at the largely destroyed city of Manehattan. "Good thing you're machine has very simple controls".

"Well saved our asses" said Artemus as he shook her hoof. "Thank you".

"It is nothing. I must protect my subjects whatever the cost" said Luna.

The five Theron guards emerged from the darkness next to Luna and bowed before looking at the damage. The changeling general then emerged from behind a pile of rubble. He was covered in glowing green blood and was wheezing heavily. He took a look at the group and collapsed.

"You cannot let him die. He will hold valuable information about the changeling king!" shouted Luna.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHR!" screamed the Kantus causing the changeling general to glow green and rise from the ground. The general them fell again and started to crawl away.

"Stand!" said the Kantus before walking towards the changeling and picking him up. He held the general by the head in front of Luna who narrowed her eyes at him.

"Where is the changeling king!?" asked Luna.

"I'm not telling you anything bitch!" shouted the general.

The Kantus swung his hand around and punched the changeling in the ribs making a wet cracking sound. The changeling screamed out in pain.

"GROVEL!" roared the Kantus before turning the changeling back towards Luna.

"Kill the puny whelp!" roared a grenadier.

"Ssssslauter!" hissed a Theron.

Luna put her hoof up causing them to fall silent.

"Where is he?" asked Luna with growing anger.

"I'm. Not. Telling you!" shouted the changeling.

The Kantus had had enough. He threw the changeling to the ground with another crack. The changeling started to crawl away before being stopped by the Kantus who flipped him over and brought his foot down on his skull causing it to explode in a flurry of green blood and bone.

"Meat!" shouted the Kantus.

"Well I think we've all had a long....wait....wheres Rarity?" asked Artemus.

"Right here darling!" shouted Rarity as she came out of a nearby Boutique carrying several bags in her magic.

"Are you taking the piss?" Artemus asked with a smile.

"Well you're hardly going to go to Manehattan and not go shopping are you?" said Rarity as she giggled and hopped around happily.

"Wait....what?" asked Magnus with a bewildered look on his face.

"Never mind lets just go back to the tank and get some sleep" said Artemus with a sigh.

Chapter 17: Fire Fights And Friends

The group of ponies and humans walked back to the tank. The locusts were sent back to their world. Everyone said their good nights before going to sleep. Artemus chose to stand on a small hill near the tank and simply look at the stars. He couldn't stop thinking about the dogs, and what they did to that filly. It made him angry.....very angry.

"Do you like the night?" asked Luna from behind Artemus snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Aye, it's beautiful. All the stars. It's nice to be able to look at the night sky without the glow of fire and the sound of gunfire constantly blazing in the night" said Artemus with a shake of his metal head.

"You're always fighting. I know. But why do you seem so upset?" asked Luna.

"On our way to Manehattan. Some dogs tried to ambush us by using a dead filly as a decoy. It's just got me really really pissed off!" Artemus said with growing anger as he punched a nearby boulder making it split in two.

"Oh no.....that poor filly" said Luna with a sad glance towards the forest. She could see the glow of a camp fire in the distance. "Do you have children of you're own?"

"I did.....once. They were killed by Alduin about two hundred years ago" said Artemus with a heavy sigh. He sat down on the hill along with Luna.

"Who is Alduin?" asked Luna.

"Alduin, Bane of Kings. He's also known as the World Eater. He's a dragon" said Artemus as he tightened his fists in rage.

"I'm sorry for you're loss Artemus" said Luna as she put a wing round Artemus' shoulder.

"Cheers for the sympathy darlin" said Artemus as he looked back at the sky. "You're the one who makes the night like this aren't you?"

"Yes. I raise the moon at night and my sister raises the sun in the morning" said Luna with a smile.

"Well you done a quality job darlin that's all I'm saying" said Artemus with a chuckle.

Suddenly the faint sound of howling could be heard in the distance. Artemus stood up and looked over the woods. About two and a half miles away Artemus could see what looked like a large camp fool of.....dogs. Artemus started walking down towards the tank with red eyes and clenched fists.

"Artemus? Whats wrong?" asked Luna.

"The dogs have a large camp about three miles north. I'm gonna go kill them all for what they've done" said Artemus in an evil sounding voice.

The tank's back ramp opened and Artemus walked in. His loud footsteps woke everyone up and they all came out of their rooms to see what was going on.

"Artemus what the fuck are you doing?" asked Seragus as he adjusted his g-string and scratched the hair on his chest.

"Never mind me. What the fuck are you doing?" asked Artemus.

"Fuck this. I'm away back to my bed" said Seragus with a yawn.

"Well that was strange" said Luna trying the blush on her face less visible.

"Right listen up. Those dogs have a camp a few miles away from here. I'm going to kill them, so if you want to help now is you're chance!" said Artemus as he stuck his hand into a box and pulled out a large axe and a machete.

"I'm in. They have to pay for their crimes" said Shining.

"We're with you captain" said the ten guards.

"We're coming too" said Twilight and the girls.

"I'm sorry Artemus but I canny be arsed fighting anything right now" said Viagol.

"Me too I'm fuckin shattered" said Magnus with a yawn.

"Right it's fine. Let's go then everypony!" said Artemus.

The group hiked through the forest towards the camp for several hours before they reached a smaller camp about two kilometers from the main camp. There were five dogs sat around a fire eating a.....pony. The ponies in the group all gasped quietly at the sight of the filly hung above the camp fire. Artemus' eyes turned crimson red and he let out a frightening roar.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKERS. I'LL KILL YOU AND EAT YOU'RE FUCKIN SOULS!" screamed Artemus as he ran through the bushes and dismembered the dogs in seconds.

Artemus' scream must have been louder then everyone had thought. An alarm was sounded and the group of ponies were grabbed without Artemus realizing. Artemus turned around to see them being dragged into a large cave entrance by the dogs.

"DON'T YOU FUCKIN TOUCH THOSE PONIES YOU PACK OF MURDERING BASTARDS!" Artemus boomed.

Artemus began running towards the cave entrance. Only to have it blocked by a massive steel gate. Artemus began punching the door as hard as he could which caused it to peel open like paper. When he got into the cave he couldn't see the ponies anywhere but he could see almost two hundred dogs pointing spears at him. One dog wearing a crown and holding a gold staff stood on top of a large rock at the far end of the cavern smiling.

"Drop you're weapons and surren-" the dog never finished as it's head was ripped apart by a massive round from the revolver that Artemus held in his hand.

The other dogs were terrified now. They knew they couldn't fight Artemus and win. They were about to surrender when Artemus began walking threw them. He walked straight up to a random dog and picked it up by it's head.

"Where are they?" Artemus asked with rage dripping from every word.

"Me not know" said the dog dripping with sweat.

Artemus crushed the dogs skull with his hand and threw it's corpse across the cavern. He swiveled on his ankle and picked up another dog by it's head.

"WHERE ARE THEY!?" roared Artemus causing the dogs to whimper.

"They threw there" said the dog pointing at a large wooden door.

Artemus then crushed the dogs head just like before and turned to speak to the dogs. He noticed there was a huge pit over on the far side of the cavern with a metal grate covering the top.

"ALL OF YOU GET IN THE PIT!" roared Artemus pointing at the pit.

All of the dogs complied and climbed into the pit. Artemus shut the grate and placed a large boulder on top of it to keep it down. He then took out a large gray cylinder, which he then opened and poured a white powder all over the dogs. He then turned and walked towards the door that the ponies were behind apparently. He swung it open and found a long corridor lined with cells. At the far end of the corridor there was a metal door. Artemus kicked the door open to find a dog smacking Fluttershy across the face with a wooden stick. The other ponies were also bruised and injured. Artemus thundered across the room and smashed the dog's head into the wall causing it to explode in a flurry of blood and brain matter. Fluttershy was crying on the floor while the other girls tried to comfort her and the guards and Shining looked on with sad looks.

"Are you lot OK?" asked Artemus.

"They were going to kill us and eat us" said Shining with a look of fear plastered across his face.

"That's it. I'm done with these mother fuckers. Let's get back to the tank" said Artemus as he picked Fluttershy up and put her on his back.

"Aren't we gonna get some pay back!?" asked Rainbow slightly shocked.

"Of coarse we are. It's just a question of who's got the guts for it" said Artemus with an angry glare at the cavern entrance at the end of the corridor.

The group walked into the cavern and saw the pit full of dogs. Artemus looked at Fluttershy over his shoulder.

"Can you walk alright darlin?" asked Artemus.

"Yeah.....I'm fine" said Flutershy quietly wiping some tears from her eyes.

Artemus put Fluttershy on the floor next to AJ who hugged her close.

"We're gonna have a fire everybody!" Artemus said menacingly as he poured more white powder over the dogs causing them to cough and choke.

"What is that stuff?" asked Twilight weakly.

"White phosphorus. It'll melt threw anything. It's hot as fuck too" said Artemus.

"I can't watch this" said Rarity as she, Pinkie and Fluttershy left the cavern.

"YOU HEAR THAT YOU MURDERING FUCKS!? YOU COOK PONIES! I COOK YOU, MOTHER FUCKERS!" boomed Artemus as he dropped a flare into the pit causing the powder to burst into flames.

The fire roared. Burning the dogs to death. The dogs howled and clawed at the grate trying to escape. Almost like they were fighting the fire. It didn't work obviously.

"Burn you murdering monsters!" shouted Shining at the pit.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT!? YOU MOTHER FUCKERS CAN BURN IN HELL AFTER YOU'RE DONE HERE!" Artemus yelled before pulling out a block with c-4 written on the side of it. He then threw it into the pit which resulted in a massive explosion that reduced the dogs to smoldering piles of burned flesh. "Come on, let's get back to the tank".

Everyone began the long walk back to the tank. However, unknown to them they were being watched by several large ape like creatures.

"Should we kill the puny whelps?" asked the Brute Minor.

"No. We'll wait for the right moment. Later but not now" said the Brute Captain as he clenched his spiker in his hand.

Chapter 18: Time to Relax!

The tank reached the outskirts of Ponyville a few hours later. Everypony was still shook up over the violence they had seen mere hours before. The girls were taking it the worst though. They were most likely scarred after seeing the things they had seen. They just felt......sick.

"You girls aren't taking this too well are you?" asked Seragus as he sat down in front of the Elements.

"There's never been this much fighting and violence in Equestria in centuries. Never mind three days!" Twilight said shocked.

"I know it's hard to understand and accept darlin" said Seragus with a sigh. "I've got an idea that will help you girls relax. You in?".

The girls looked at each other nervously before nodding their heads.

Seragus took out a small piece of white paper. It was rolled up and appeared to be filled with something purple. Seragus took out another object from his duster pocket. It was a lighter. He flicked the top of it open and sparked up a flame. He then lit the piece of paper on fire and placed it in his mouth. He took a long draw of it before snickering and handing it to the girls. Rarity was the first to take it into her hoof.

"What is it darling? Some kind of herbal remedy?" asked Rarity with a curious eye.

"I guess you could call it that" said Seragus with a big grin.

Rarity looked to the rest of the girls who shrugged in response.

"Well. Here goes nothing" said Rarity before placing the paper in her mouth and inhaling the smoke. She coughed slightly before she started swaying from side to side. She then laughed and fell onto the floor giggling.

"Wow! That looks fun!" shouted Pinkie before putting the paper in her mouth and inhaling until there was nothing left of it.

"Fuckin hell Pinkie" said Seragus slightly shocked. "That's too much darlin".

Pinkie Pie then burst into laughter and fell on the floor like Rarity. The smoke from the paper had reached the other girls now and even Shining and the guards.

"Woah........I feel kinda funny" said AJ as she rubbed her head.

"Me too" said Rainbow.

"How are you lot- Aww for fuck sake Seragus!" shouted Artemus.

"What!?"

"You gave them that shit!?"

"Aye so what?"

"That's the stuff the Kig-Yar smuggle! It's illegal for a reason!"

"Look It's perfectly safe. Awright?"

"No it isn't. The last time you smoked that shit it knocked out three Elites and a Hunter that were almost fifteen yards away!"

"Well Pinkie just smoked a whole role up so there" said Seragus.

"WHAT!?"

"And it was super duper!" yelled Pinkie.

"A whole.....role.......up? Holy fuckin shit Pinkie that's unreal" said Artemus shocked.

"Really? It seemed pretty real to me".

"Fuckin hell......."

(Three hours later. In Canterlot Castle)

"I will not stand for this!" shouted Celestia. "You are to find the ponies responsible and arrest them. Understood?"

"Yes you're Majesty" said the guard before running out of the throne room.

"Celestia!? What are you shouting at?" came Chrysalis' voice from the other room.

Celestia locked the door to the throne room with her magic and walked into the next room were she found Chrysalis, Luna and Cadence sitting lazily on a couch. "What are you three doing in here?"

"Nothing why?" asked Luna with a shrug.

"Well.....I don't know.......it just seems weird having us all in the same place without fighting" said Celestia with a smile.

"Well I like it. We don't have anything to worry about" said Cadence happily.

"Well.....I'm sorry to say that's not true" said Celestia sadly.

"What is it Tia?" asked Luna.

"Some ponies were found murdered in the Everfree Forest early this morning. It looks like animals attacked them but whatever it was. It was big and ruthless" said Celestia as she looked out a nearby window towards Ponyville.

"Well I'm sure it was just Timber wolves.......right?" asked Chrysalis worriedly.

The sound of knocking at the throne room door snapped the three princesses and Queen out of their trance. War walked into the room and knelt on the floor.

"Princesses" came his deep raspy voice. "The masters are here to see you".

"Oh the boys are back" said Celestia as she and the other three rulers went to the door. Celestia reached out with her hoof to open the door but was stopped by War.

"Deceiver!" hissed War as he and Death pulled the four rulers away from the door.

"What's wrong?" whispered Chrysalis.

Death sniffed the air and growled. "Brutes........".

"What are-" Chrysalis was cut off as seven massive ape like creatures crashed through the doors to the throne room. Four of them were wearing blue armor, two of them were wearing pale blue armor and the one that seemed to be leading the group was wearing black and red armor with a large head dress.

"We come for the four rulers of this puny planet!" roared the Brute Chieftain gripping his gravity hammer.

"Oh no what are we going to-" Chrysalis was cut off again as the seven apes roared and dropped dead. Behind them were three other tall creatures. However these creatures were different. They were slightly smaller and held glowing blue blades. One creature was wearing blood red armor, one was wearing dark blue armor and the leader of this group wore dark grey armor covered in intricate patterns.

"Princesses. We must get you to safety at once. The Brutes have started invading" said the Arbiter.

"Wait who are you?" said Chrysalis scared.

"I am the Arbiter. No come the Brutes have our scent" said the Arbiter as he turned to leave the throne room.

(Ponyville town square)

"Go and fuck yourselves you big hairy bastards!" shouted Magnus as he fired his LMG into a group of grunts.

"Why does this kind of thing always happen to you guys!?" shouted Shining as he shot a brute minor dead.

"I don't fuckin know!" shouted Magnus.

"Right we managed to get everyone into the town hall safely! Twilight's put up a shield as well!" shouted Viagol as he crouched behind a pile of rubble.

"Humans!" came a voice from behind them. They all turned to see a tall Elite wearing silver armor. His helmet was damaged and he was missing two mandibles. "The Brutes have a Super Carrier en route to this planet!".

"Cheers for letting us know Rtas!" shouted Magnus.

"How the fuck are we going to destroy a Super Carrier!? We don't have a fuckin moon to throw at it do we!?" shouted Viagol.

"You're right human. However we contacted the UNSC and apparently they are coming to help now!" shouted Rtas as he fired three shots out of his carbine killing a brute.

"Where's Artemus and Seragus!?" shouted Magnus.

The ground beneath them started to rumble as a black warthog jeep obliterated a nearby house. It swung round and Seragus spun the quad barreled chain gun up and started to unleash metal death onto the attacking Brutes, Jackals and Grunts. The gun stopped firing leaving the town completely silent. Artemus climbed out of the driver seat and Seragus jumped down from the gun.

"Take that a big hairy bastards!" shouted Seragus.

"Well humans. It seems we are safe. For now. But the Brutes will be here soon. We can only hope the UNSC arrives first" said Rtas as he looked too the sky.

"Well I'm not going out without a fight they can be damn sure of that" said Viagol.

"Who else did you bring with you Rtas?" asked Artemus.

"Spartan John-117 reporting for duty sir".

Chapter 19: Or Not!

"Where are we going?" asked Luna as the three Elites navigated their way through Canterlot Castle.

"We are taking you to Ponyville. I believe you have already met the four humans" said the Arbiter.

"Yes we have met the boys. They have been here for about two weeks" said Celestia trying to keep a straight head.

"Why are we going to Ponyville?" asked Cadence who was terrified.

"We seen two of the humans fighting the Brutes in the center of the town. We believe they will fortify that position or somewhere else in the town" said the Arbiter as he looked around a corner.

"Oh no. Those creatures are in Ponyville?" asked Cadence.

"Yes. We must go quickly the Brutes have deployed a Scarab to the forest around the town. If it gets close enough it will crush the town in seconds" said the Arbiter as the group rounded a corner which led to a massive balcony. On the balcony was a strange purple object. "Quick into the Phantom!".

"Wait. We have scarab beetles in Equestria but none big enough to destroy a town" said Celestia shocked.

The four rulers were placed under the Phantom and suddenly lifted into it's under side by a strange pale green light. The two other Elites went into the cockpit and closed the door behind them. The Arbiter stood in front of the rulers and crouched down slightly.

"The Scarab the Brutes have is not an insect it weighs almost four thousand tons and can melt through almost four feet of concrete" said the Arbiter.

"Why are these.....Brutes doing this?" asked Cadence shocked.

"They have been lost looking for a purpose for several months. Apparently you have done something to anger them" said the Arbiter with a low growl.

(Meanwhile in Ponyville)

"At ease Chief. It feels weird to hear you call me sir" said Artemus as he gave Master Chief a salute which he returned.

"Well looks like they've stopped comin-" Magnus was cut off as the sound of loud thumping and trees snapping echoed through the air.

"Aww for fuck sake Magnus!" shouted Seragus. "You just had to open you're mouth didn't you!?".

"Fuck you!" shouted Magnus turning his attention towards the thumping in the distance.

"Seragus. Go to the library and keep everyone safe" said Artemus.

"Right" said Seragus before running off in the direction of the library.

Suddenly the sound of a phantom touching down signaled everyone to turn around. The Arbiter stepped off of the phantom followed by two other elites.

"The brutes have a scarab incoming" said the Arbiter as he held his plasma rifle in one hand and his energy sword in the other. "We brought the four princesses here too".

"Why did you bring them here?" asked Artemus curiously. "Surely they would be safer in the castle.

"True. However. The brutes will direct all the firepower from the super carrier to the castle in an attempt to kill the princesses" said the Arbiter.

"Oh yeah. The black one with the holes.....she's a queen" said Viagol.

"Whats the plan?" asked the Chief.

"Well......we get to the back of the scarab and blow it to fuck. Sound good?" asked Artemus with a grin.

"We're with you humans" said the Arbiter as the other elites roared.

"Ready and able" said the Chief shouldering his assault rifle.

"Fuckin moan then!" shouted Magnus and Viagol.

(Meanwhile at the library)

"Oh Twilight! Open the fuckin.....shield?" shouted Seragus.

The shield vanished and Seragus opened the door. He crouched slightly to get in and shut the door behind him. In the library were all the residents of Ponyville. They looked fairly unfazed by the whole ordeal and were sitting in small groups talking among themselves. Seragus was about to shout for Twilight when a minty green blur shot into him knocking him to the floor.

"Hellooooooo.......I'm Lyra Heartstring. Nice to meet you huuuuuummmmmmaaaaannnnnnn" sang Lyra as she fiddled with Seragus' gloved hand.

"Well......nice to meet you too darlin. I'm Seragus" said Seragus as he placed Lyra on the floor in front of him. She had a terrifying grin plastered across her face which made Seragus shiver.

"Lyra don't be rude" said a cream colored earth pony with a candy cutie mark. "I'm sorry for Lyra. It's just she's believed the legends of the humans ever since she was a filly. I'm Bon Bon".

"Well it's fine Bon Bon. I'm Seragus" said Seragus extending his hand to shake her hoof.

"HANDS!" shouted Lyra latching onto Seragus' hand causing his hand and wrist to shatter.

"GAH! FUCK!" roared Seragus throwing Lyra to the floor and cradling his destroyed fore arm.

"Oh my goodness are you alright!?" shouted Twilight as her, the rest of the Elements, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Chrysalis and Spike ran over to where Seragus was sitting on the floor.

"No! My fuckin arms fuckin wrecked. PISS SHIT BASTARD CUNT!" screamed Seragus in pain.

Everypony gasped at the language that was used. Many parents covered their children's ears.

"Do you have to use suck foul language?" asked Celestia shocked.

"You try getting you're hoof crushed by that lassie and try not swearing. Geez!" shouted Seragus as he tryed to move his wrist only to hear a sound similar to egg shells being smashed by a hammer.

"Don't worry Seragus. I have a new spell I've been itching to try out on broken bones" said Twilight with a confident smile.

"Fine. Do it. But I swear to fu......God if it turns my arm into something weird I'll blow up this whole building" said Seragus seriously.

Twilight's horn began to glow. She had strained look on her face and was sweating slightly. Seragus' arm was enveloped in a purple aura just like her horn and a loud cracking sound was heard. Seragus moved his wrist and smiled.

"Nice work darlin. That feel quality" said Seragus picking Twilight up laughing.

Twilight blushed and giggled. "Thank you Seragus but it was nothing. Really".

"Ha! She's so modest I love it!" shouted Seragus before a loud thumping sound shook the library into silence. "The fuck was that?".

Everypony ran to the Library windows to see a giant purple bug tearing through the Everfree Forest.

"Oh fuck my ass!" shouted Seragus. "Everyone under a table or on the floor n now!".

"What is that thing?" asked Rainbow.

"It's a scarab. It's very very bad for Ponyville" said Seragus as he brought out his quad barreled shotgun and knelt on the floor.

"Look. How strong are those shields you make Twilight?" asked Seragus.

"I don't know. OK I guess. They'll stop most types of magic" said Twilight nervously. "How hard can that thing hit?".

"OK I'll give you the short version. That scarab's cannon can melt through four feet of concrete and is indestructible compared to the weapons we have" said Seragus with a sigh. "Wait. I have an idea. How about every unicorn or alicorn who is able to, put up a shield. Will that increase the strength?"

"Oh yes. The combined magic power of the princesses and Chrysalis would be very powerful. But every unicorn in this building would be incredible" said Twilight slightly shocked at the thought.

"Well do it then" said Seragus.

All the unicorns and alicorns in the room lit their horns up and cast a spell round the library.

"How long can you keep that up?" asked Seragus.

"A while" said Twilight.

"Why are you saying it like that?" asked Seragus.

"What do you mean?"

"You're putting so much emphasis on the 'h'".

(Meanwhile in Ponyville town square)

"Wreck the fucker!" shouted Artemus as he fired the warthog chain gun at the scarab's legs causing an alarm to sound and the sacarab to slowly lower towards the ground.

The Chief ran up the scarabs ramp and took cover behind a wall inside while shooting at the brutes, grunts and jackals that were on board. The Arbiter and Rtas were close behind him and also took cover behind the wall. Artemus ran up the ramp past the spartan and elites and punched a brute captain in the face causing it's head to explode. The group began fighting up the ramp onto the scarab's main deck and around the edges. Artemus turned to face the large glowing blue orb that powered the scarab.

"Heh. Always wanted to do this" said Artemus with a grin. "FALCON PUNCH!" shouted Artemus before slamming his fist as hard as he could into the orb causing it to explode.

The scarab began to shake slightly and an alarm sounded as small explosions erupted all over the scarab's hull. The Chief, the Arbiter and Rtas ran down the scarab's main loading ramp and took cover behind the barricade.

"Wait. Where's Artemus?" asked the Chief.

"I assumed you had him spartan" said the Arbiter before looking at the scarab.

"LADS! MY FUCKIN ARMS STUCK IN THE HULL! I PUNCHED IT WAY TO HARD!" shouted Artemus before the loud whirring sound could be heard. "FUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkkk!" shouted Artemus as the scarab exploded sending him flying across the sky towards......the library.

"What are you talking about!?" shouted Twilight.

"I'm just saying that you're putting to much emphas-" Seragus was interrupted by Artemus crashing through the library wall and into him at bullet speed, sending him flying into the wall with a loud thud.

Everypony gasped and went to see if they were OK.

"Aww ma heed!" shouted Artemus as he rubbed his temples.

"I think I have internal bleeding" said Seragus as he fell out of the wall leaving a dent of himself in it.

"Why is this happening now? I mean. This kind of thing never happens usually. Why is all this happening now?" asked Chrysalis completely shocked.

"Let's just get Seragus to a hospital" said Fluttershy worriedly. "I think he's broke almost all his bones".

"Score! Hey Seragus you owe me five hundred quid!" shouted Artemus as he looked over Seragus' fairly mangled body.

"What are you talking about?" asked Fluttershy.

"Me and Seragus have had a bet on for the past seven hundred and fifty seven years that I couldn't break every bone in something's body in one strike. And guess what I just done!" shouted Artemus as he grabbed Celestia's hooves and began ball room dancing with her around the library. "Ha ha get in!".

Chapter 20: Well Then...F--k!

Seragus turned in the bed he was lying in. His body ached and his limbs were bandaged. He noticed through his blurred vision that he wasn't in Twilight's library but in a cold dimly lit concrete room. There was a muffled explosion from above that caused some dust and small pieces or rock to fall from the ceiling. He knew he must have been far underground for it to sound the way it did. The room consisted of a metal framed bed, which he was currently sitting in, a single wooden chair, a small table with a glass of water on it, a cracked clock that hung on the wall and a wooden door.

"Aw, my head" Seragus groaned as he held his head in his hands. "Where the fuck is everyone?".

Seragus hopped out of the bed. He noticed he was only wearing a gray vest and a pair of black combat trousers. "Fuck sake...where's my stuff?"

Seragus walked towards the wooden door and opened it. It led into a corridor that looked like it had seen better days. Seragus looked left, the corridor ended in a pile of rubble, to his right he could see another door with small beams of light shining through it. He walked to the door and opened it to see...everyone sitting around a large circular table. The Elements looked like they had been to hell and back and Pinkie Pie even had an eye patch. Artemus sat at the head of the table talking too Lyra and Bon Bon, both of which had makeshift armor and other gear strapped to them just like everyone else. Viagol sat on the right side of the table talking to Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Chrysalis, all of which had battered royal looking armor strapped across them. Magnus was on the left side of the table showing a group of ponies a few new weapon and armor models he had constructed.

"Oh look Seragus is awake!" Pinkie squealed happily.

"Well it's about fuckin time you woke up you dick" Magnus laughed as he punched Seragus in the arm.

"Punch me again and I'll fuckin end you" Seragus threatened with a grin.

"How are you Seragus?" Twilight asked with a gentle smile.

"Fuckin sore..." Seragus said with a grunt as he moved his arm causing it to crack.

"Well it will heal better in time" Said Twilight with a chuckle.

"Ummm...will someone please tell me what's going on?" said Seragus confused.

"Well, after I landed on you and broke you...you kind of fell into a coma for two months. During those two months we defeated the brutes, mauled the changelings to the point were they had to withdraw from Equestria. But when they did the changeling king released a fuckin virus or some shit into Equestria that basically turned anyone who was exposed for too long into a zombie. Any questions?" said Artemus.

"Aye, why are we in the bunker?" asked Seragus.

"This isn't the bunker".

"What do you mean?"

"I mean our bunker was destroyed" said Artemus.

"What the fuck by!?" asked Seragus, actually shocked.

"Zombie dragon. Big fucker got into the reactor and mauled the fuck out of it" said Viagol.

"Then the reactor exploded so the princesses and Crissy put up a shield. I'm not going to lie, it fuckin worked" said Artemus with a smile towards the three alicorns and changeling queen.

"Then we had to find somewhere to live and keep safe. So me and Artemus went scavenging in Ponyville and found some old maps. They mentioned old sewer tunnels under the town. So we dug for a bit and found them. Found the unstable areas and sealed them off, fortified the exits and stocked up on food, ammo and medicine" Said Magnus.

"We moved everyone down here as quick as we could. Not sure how long the radiation and the virus is going to last though. Oh and some humans made their way here after the UNSC pulled out and became very friendly with those fuckin dogs. So we have bandit clans to worry about too. The clans consist of humans, diamond dogs, ponies, griffons and minotaurs. It's gotten real fuckin dangerous up there Seragus" said Viagol with a look at the ceiling as another explosion shook the tunnels and caused dust to fall.

"So we don't have any guns then?" asked Seragus.

"Oh we have plenty of guns, just not very high tech, just the basics" said Artemus as he through Seragus a rifle.

"What about Canterlot? Surely it must be safer than some old sewer tunnels?" asked Seragus with a look towards everyone.

"Virtually all ponies who were in Canterlot have turned now" said Celestia with a solemn look at the floor.

"That's another thing, how bad is this virus?" asked Seragus.

"Fuckin bad mate. It's not instant but you only last about twenty seconds in the open without a mask, after that you start turning" said Artemus.

"What kind of zombies are we dealing with? Cause that matters a lot" asked Seragus.

"Oh it's your classic roster. Walkers, runners, jumpers, floaters and shamblers" said Artemus.

"Really? Wow the gaming market got it spot on with zombies didn't they?" said Seragus. "Wait what about pegasus and unicorns? What happens when they turn?"

"Fuck me, I seriously hate zombie pegasus. They're fast and hard hitting" said Artemus. "And unicorns are just like weaker earth ponies, they can't use their magic anymore. But I wouldn't advise getting too close too them, they'll fuckin stab you with the horn".

"So what are we going to do?" asked Artemus.

"Well the Elements were scattered across Equestria. Most of them were taken by bandits and other mercenaries apart from the Element of Magic, which was stolen by crazed ponies from the Crystal Empire. So it will be somewhere in the frozen north" said Celestia.

"Let me guess. The Elements of Harmony are the only things that can fix this?" asked Seragus.

"I'm afraid so" said Celestia.

Seragus let out a sigh and cracked his neck. He walked to a door across the room marked armory and opened it. Inside were racks of assault rifles, sniper rifles, hand guns, SMG's, explosives and other sorted swords, axes, spears and knives. "Well what the fuck are we waiting for?" Seragus said with a grin as he picked up a massive machete and a hand grenade.

The Elements all looked at each other with determined faces along with everyone else. Everyone cheered and got ready to go out and save Equestria.

"By the way, Pinkie? Where did you get the eye patch?" asked Seragus.

"Oh I always keep eye patches stashed around the old sewers in case of a zombie emergency!" Pinkie chirped happily as she took off the eye patch and giggled.

"Fuck sake" Seragus laughed along with everyone else. He knew the next few months were going to be challenging but just like everyone else, he was prepared for it.

Author's Note

To anyone who even remotely cares. Sorry it's been so long since I've updated but stuff was happening.

Chapter 21: Ponyville

Everyone gathered their weapons and armored up. They didn't try to pretend that getting the Elements of Harmony back was going to be easy. Many ponies were taking the news quite hard. Some of them hadn't fought or harmed anything never mind outright murder something. Many frightened ponies turned to the four rulers for guidance while other turned to the Elements. However most of the ponies turned to the four humans for closure and reassurance. They saw the four humans as giant protectors that would smite down Equestria's enemies with fury to mach the sun.

"We're probably going to die trying to find the-" Magnus was cut off with a swift kick to the ribs by Seragus.

"Shut your puss you moaning faced cunt" Seragus bellowed angrily at Magnus. "That's not helping the situation you stupid fanny".

"C'mon guys we shouldn't be fighting amongst ourselves, that's not gonna help us find the Elements" Rainbow said as she hovered in between Seragus and Magnus.

Many of Ponyville's residents had been spared the fate that so many others had received. Only one or two hadn't gotten into the tunnels. However the one major problem was no solid information had been gathered on how the virus affected the local wild life. Some scouts would be sent out to look for food and supplies but more often than not they would come back rambling about creatures in the dark and long limbs coming to take them to Tartarus. They would always end up walking out at night and turning in the clouds of virus. Many families were separated when everyone moved into the tunnels but they were re-united in the end. However many ponies had started viewing Artemus as a personal titan. One cross eyed pegasus had been saved by Artemus seconds before the gas would have got her. She even wore a small flag on her chest plate as many other ponies did. The flag was blue with a white cross on it and Artemus' robotic skull in the center. Ponies that ever fought by Artemus would generally keep a distance from the hulking metal biped, as there was always the chance that he would crush them.

"Right! So where do we start looking for the Elements of Harmony?" asked Artemus as he picked up a large combat knife.

"Well it looks like the five bandit clans have the Elements of Laughter, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity and Honesty. However the Element of Magic is somewhere in the Frozen North or the Crystal Empire" Celestia explained as she pointed to different locations on a large map.

"I think we split into teams to get them back" said Seragus.

"That could work" said Chrysalis.

"What do you think Artemus?" asked Luna.

"Sounds like it could work well. But we'll have to train our teams in our styles of fighting so we actually work as a unit" said Artemus as he stroked his metallic chin.

"What did you have in mind?" asked Cadence.

"Hmmm...Okay listen up! Me, Seragus, Magnus and Viagol are going to train you all in different styles! When we are done you will be the enemies worst nightmare! Now! If you want to roll with me your going to have to be fast strong and ready to do anything! When you fight with me, you'll be fighting in all weather conditions, on all terrains, in any temperature against any enemy!" Artemus boomed across the large stone room.

"If you want to fight with me! Your going to have to be quiet and brutal! We will be taking care of recon, stealth and demolition missions!" shouted Seragus.

"If you want to fight with me you'll have to be calm and a good shot because we'll be taking care of long range sniping! We're the ones who kill the enemy before they even know what's happening!" Viagol shouted across the sea of ponies.

"If you want to fight with me your going to have to be quick and strong! We're the ones who help the others when they're in need of help! We support the advance of troops on the field with big guns and lot's of ammo!" Magnus shouted.

The ponies all took looks at each other and talked amongst themselves for several minutes. After a while, all the ponies stood up put on a brave face and marched next to a human. Artemus saw one pony who he remembered as Big Mac standing next to him.

"Your Applejack's brother aren't you?" asked Artemus.

"Eeeyup" said Big Mac.

"Girls?" said Celestia.

"Yes princess?" asked Twilight as her and the other Elements gathered around Celestia.

"I want you to stay here and help command rather than fight" said Celestia.

"But princess, we have to help save Equestria" said Twilight.

"You are the Elements of Harmony and we can't afford to have you injured or killed out there".

"But-"

"Please girls. I know it's hard but you have to realize that there is only so much the boys can do to protect you. You aren't invincible" said Celestia with a sad look.

The Elements all let out a sigh. "But what can we do from here?" asked Twilight.

"Yeah. I aint to good with strategy your highness" said Applejack. "And it looks like Big Mac's gonna go fight with Artemus. I'm worried for mah family. I want to protect em'".

"I understand your concerns Applejack but all of you must understand that this is the only way" said Celestia with a pleading look at the girls.

"Okay then" they all said in unison.

All of a sudden there was a loud bang from the large reenforced steel door at the other end of the room. Everyone turned to it, many with shock and fear, but many others with determination and bravery. The door was hit again. This time it dented slightly. Artemus sighed and approached the door.

"Who is it?" he asked jokingly.

Suddenly a large claw came through the door and grabbed Artemus by the chest. However Artemus grabbed it with lighting speed and tore it clean off. The claw was very large, was a dull gray color and looked rotten. The door was banged again and was now starting to come off the hinges.

"What is it!?" shouted a pony from the back of the room.

"Is it a dragon!?"

"The horror! The horror!"

The door flew off the hinges and behind it stood a massive griffon. It was mostly black but was dull gray in other places. It's eyes were hollow and glowed a very dim green color. To everyone's surprise it then spoke.

"Daaaaaaash?" it spoke in a gurgling and demonic voice.

Rainbow froze in fear as the griffon turned and looked at her. "...Gilda...?".

The griffon then roared and attempted to jump at Rainbow and the other ponies but was stopped by Artemus who landed a punch to the beasts chest. The griffon collapsed in a heap on the floor and tried to get back up. Artemus stood over the rotting creature with red eyes before plunging his arm into it's back and tearing it's whole spine out along with it's skull. Every pony froze in fear and horror. Artemus' eyes turned blue again and he through the spine and skull to the floor.

"Well it's been a while since you did that Artemus" said Seragus with a grin.

"Well it's fun to go over the top sometimes" Artemus replied with a laugh. "Anyway. We should probably start training you all up! So lets get to it!".

Chapter 22: Deployment

Two months past as large groups of ponies trained with one of the four humans. Many of them past the training but just as many of them were unable to even come close to completing it. Specifically any ponies who tried to train with Artemus. Everyone had found a new life in the tunnels. After Twilight used her magic to almost double the size of some of the more stable tunnels. The largest ones were the width of the average city street. Rarity re-opened her boutique, Applejack and the Apple Family were able to farm using some tools and techniques they learned from Magnus, Fluttershy looked after any animals in the tunnels, Rainbow Dash started a pegasus race track, Twilight took care of any books she found and Pinkie Pie re-opened Sugar Cube Corner with Mr and Mrs Cake. Everyone had changed to some degree. Nopony was scared of fighting due to life in the tunnels being so rough on occasions and crime had risen quite suddenly after the tunnels were properly occupied. Because of the rise in crime, a policing force was deployed to any disturbance or issue to make sure nopony was hurt.

Celestia walked down the brightly lit tunnel with a determined look on her face. Ever since the virus was released, her, Luna, Cadence and Chrysalis weren't considered royalty anymore. They were just ponies now. Celestia didn't mind though, she liked being treated equally and so did Luna, Cadence and Chrysalis she was just wasn't used to being treated the way some ponies were treated. She rounded the corner to see a brightly lit facade of a building. The neon sine hung above the door read "Rainbow Dash's Bar and Nightclub" and sported a picture of Rainbow Dash holding a mug of cider in one hoof and a deck of cards in the other. Celestia chuckled lightly to herself when she heard the lively cheers and laughter come from inside. She walked in to see hundreds of ponies laughing and dancing, she even saw Viagol having a drinking contest with a griffon.

"Ready to *hic* give *hic* up now *hic* feather tits?" Viagol slurred as he put the empty shot glass on the table along with the other forty.

The griffon looked at the shot glass in his claw and raised it to his beak, however before he could take a drink he passed out and fell to the floor. The ponies who were gathered around the table cheered and laughed.

Celestia smiled at the sight of her little ponies having fun in such a horrible time and continued her walk through the bar. She caught site of Seragus sitting at a table with a large minotaur holding a twelve inch knife. She narrowed her eyes to get a better look and approached the table to see what was happening.

"Right then baw bag. You ready?" asked Seragus.

The minotaur snorted and picked up the knife. He then began stabbing the table in between his fingers at an impressive speed making everypony around the table stare at how amazing it was. The minotaur stopped suddenly when the knife made contact with his finger causing a minor cut and making him drop the knife. Seragus nodded to him.

"Good effort mate" said Seragus before picking up the knife and doing the same action at almost five times the speed. Everypony cheered as Seragus finished and stabbed the knife into the center of the table with a smile. "You owe me two grand big man".

Celestia smiled and continued her walk. She reached a door at the back of the club guarded by a large stallion in a dark suit and tie.

"Princess?" the stallion nodded to Celestia as he opened up the door.

The door lead into a large room with a table in the center. At the table sat Artemus, Luna, Cadence, Chrysalis, Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Pinkie, Applejack, Magnus and Shining Armor. There was a very large pile of expensive items in the middle of the table. Gems of all shapes and sizes, thousands of bits and jewellery. Twilight was a wreck to say the least. Her mane and tail were messy and frizzy and she was sweating. Everyone was concentrated on their own cards and eyed each other cautiously. Luna broke the tense silence.

"I fold" she said as she flipped her cards onto the table.

"Me too" Chrysalis added.

"Me three added Pinkie.

Shining looked around confidently before placing his cards on the table. "Feast your eyes. Three tens and two sevens" Shining chirped happily. He had bet Cadence's favorite necklace and was glad to win it back. However before he could grab the winning pot he was stopped by Artemus.

"Now hold the fuck on mate. Everyone! I would like to introduce you all to, Sarah, Jenny, Chloe and Morgan! Eight titties!" shouted Artemus as Shining shrunk back into his chair in shame. "I am so sorry Shining but get it up yeh big man!"

Everyone roared with laughter and took a sip from their individual drinks. They the all left the table. Celestia took a moment to say hello to everyone before making her way to Artemus.

"I would like to thank you for all you and the boys have done Artemus" said Celestia with a smile.

Artemus smiled back at her. "It's fine darlin, you and everyone here have done so much for us and have been put through so much that it's the least we can do".

"Well nevertheless I still thank you and-" Celestia was cut off by a loud bang from outside.

An intercom cracked to life on the wall. "Infected have breached the tunnels! All ponies who cannot fight are to return to your homes ASAP!"

"Fuck sake!" Artemus shouted as he made a start for the exit. "Seragus!?"

"Aye I've got the guns Artemus!" Seragus shouted as he through Artemus a shotgun.

"Right make sure no infected reach the residential areas!" Artemus shouted as he and Seragus entered a large square filled with twenty to thirty armed ponies. Viagol and Magnus were at the other end of the square setting up a machine gun.

"What is that?" asked a stallion from behind Magnus.

"It's an MG-42" Magnus said with a menacing grin.

The wall in front of the square exploded in a shower of rubble and black ponies, griffons, minotaurs and other infected creatures poured into the square. The MG-42 roared to life, destroying anything it was pointed at. The ponies opened fire on the infected with shotguns and rifles along with Seragus while Artemus simply chose to charge into them head on wielding a large sledge hammer. After only two minutes the fighting was over and the tunnel square was covered in dark green blood and lumps of black flesh.

"Everyone alright!?" shouted Artemus.

Everyone present replied and relaxed. These attacks were becoming very common lately and many ponies believed that somepony was luring the infected towards the tunnels. Either way everyone was going to have to do something soon.

"Celestia?" asked Artemus.

"Yes?"

"You better come with us".

Celestia, Artemus, Seragus, Viagol and Magnus walked through multiple small tunnels before reaching an old building. The building looked deserted but when Artemus knocked the door it opened. They all walked inside to see Luna, Cadence, Shining and Chrysalis standing around a giant metal coil.

"Seragus power it up" said Artemus.

Seragus walked over to a control panel and started pulling levers and pushing buttons. After several seconds the coil began to hum lightly.

"Now you may all be wondering why your here. You are here because you have the ability to make very tough shields. As a result, me and Seragus built this coil to harness your magic to power a shield. The shield will protect the tunnels. Any questions?" said Artemus.

Everypony looked at each other before shaking their heads.

"Good" said Artemus. "If you could all please focus your magic on the coil please".

Everypony focused their magic on the coil causing it to glow brighter and brighter. After a while arcs of pure magic began to arc off of the coil and scorch the floor.

"Well fuck me...I can't believe that worked..." Magnus said in shock.

"We haven't activated the shield yet dick face..." Viagol said as he shook his head.

"Fuck off" said Magnus.

"Seragus! Flip the switch and turn the power on!" shouted Artemus.

Author's Note

I thank you if you are still following my story! Oh cliff hangers...

Chapter 1: A New Beginning

The Everfree Forest was completely silent. With the exception of the wind blowing through the trees, almost making it sound as if they were humming. The silence was only broken by the gentle and barley audible hoofsteps of a certain butter coated pegasus. The pegasus had a long flowing pink mane and tail and was helping a large manticore walk through the forest.

"Now stay off that paw for at least one week mister", said the pegasus in the most gentle calming voice imaginable.

The manticore gave a purr and licked the pegasus across the face. It then skulked off into the darkness that was the Everfree Forest. The pegasus turned to walk back to her cottage when she heard menacing growling come from the underbrush that was all around her. She was about to run. Or scream. Or faint. Which ever came first was fine for her. The pegasus turned to run but stopped when a large wooden wolf appeared from the bush in front of her. She quickly realised it was alone and not with a pack.

"Hmmm". She thought to herself."Timber Wolves normaly travel in packs so-. Her thinking was cut off when she heard something coming from above her. She looked up and saw five objects moving towards the ground. She looked back at the timber wolf in front of her. The wolf and the pegasus stared at each other for what seemed like hours, only distracted when the wolf exploded in a flurry of wood and tree sap. The pegasus looked away from the scene and shielded her eyes. In the time she spent with her eyes closed she heard four loud crashes around her. She opened her eyes slowly as she was terrified of what could do that to a timber wolf, that wasn't a dragon or a hydra. She tried to see through the dust that had been kicked up by the impacts but couldn't. She started to walk forward but was stopped by the appearance of a large bipedal creature. It was massive towering over her at about 14 hooves (seven feet) and also appeared to be made of metal. The metal being groaned and put a hand to it's head. the creature appeared to be a walking skeleton and had two piercing blue eyes that seemed to scan the area. The pegasus squeeked at the extremely imposing creature that stood before her. This caused it to immediately look towards her. The creature stared at her for a good thirty seconds before it made a sound. A deep raspy voice spoke out, and was muffled due to coming from inside the creature's head.

"Scan complete... WARNING! WARNING! CUTENESS OVERLOAD!", wailed the voice before some sparks promptly flew out of the creatures head and it collapsed with an all mighty crash.

The pegasus stared at the prone metal form of the creature but then heard three other groans com from the other creatures. She didn't know what to do, well she did but she was to scared to move. The creatures all stood up to there full height. They were still large but were only about 12 or 11 hooves tall, they still dwarfed her though which made them just as scary. One of the creatures cupped it's... claws? to it's mouth and shouted.

"Hey Cheesy you there bud"! the creature shouted before looking towards the small pegasus standing in front of it's large metal friend. It pointed a shaky claw at the pegasus while hitting the other two creatures on the shoulders to get their attentions. The other two creatures were looking around the forest. The remaining two creatures turned and looked at what their friend was pointing at. One of the creatures clenched it's chest and fell to the ground and the other simply 'd'aaaaawed' before walking over to the remaining creature. It slapped it's friend across the face and walked over to the metal behemoth that lay seemingly dead in front of the pegasus. It started opening the metal creature's chest up and fiddled about for a moment before looking up at the pegasus.

"Hiya pal yoo got a name" it said in a calm and gentle tone.

The pegasus relaxed slightly at the sound of the creatures voice and decided to speak up.

"I'm Fluttershy" she said quietly before hiding behind her mane.

"Well fuck me" said the creature with a grin over it's face

"Oi Judge yoo owe me twenty quid!" the creature shouted slightly and laughed befor jumping back as it's metal friend started to move.

The creature jumped back as the metal giant rose to it's full height. It looked about before looking down at the tiny pegasus at it's feet. This time it spoke and it's mouth moved.

"That- it said pointing a finger at Fluttershy - is fuckin adorable"

"Well look hooz up, c,mone lits git they two fannies up inawe.

The metal creature apparently named Cheesy let out a sigh before walking over to the creature who had previously been pointing at Fluttershy, but had fainted when she spoke. Cheesy stood next to him for a moment before kicking him square in the testicles. Fluttershy winced at the sight before hearing the other creature who had apparently had a heart attack yelp in pain as well. All four of them returned to stand in front of Fluttershy, who was hiding behind her man in fear. The creature who had spoke to her before stepped forward and crouched down to meet Fluttershy's gaze. He smiled at her and put a hand to his chest.

"Hiya Fluttershy. Mah names Bhuna" he said before pointing to the rest of the creatures.

"The big metal boy is Cheesy" he said pointing to the giant of the group who waved back in response.

"The boy that fainteed is Judge" Judge simply nodded.

"And the fanny that hid the fuckin hert attack is Dermo" he said pointing to Dermo who gave a smile and a wave in response.

"Right darlin wid ye mind tellin us were we are?" said Cheesy

"Um... you're in the Everfree Forest" Fluttershy said.

"Nae danger darlin, and were is that?"

"Equestria" Fluttershy said quietly.

"AWW FUR FUCK SAKE!" Cheesy shouted.

"Oh... I'm sorry if I upset you" Fluttershy said on the verge of tears while Cheesy continued shouting a stomping around.

None of the other creatures heard her but Cheesy heard her clear as day. He immediately stopped shouting and turned to face Fluttershy.

"Oh nonononono darlin it's no your faut" Cheesy said quietly as he placed a gigantic metal hand on her shoulder.

"Oh thank goodness. I thought I had upset you" Fluttershy said

"Really Cheesy. Scarin wee hoarsis noo ur we?" Judge asked with a smirk plastered across his face.

"Dinnea start any ay yur pish Judge. Am fuckin warnin yea" Cheesy said in a calm tone still looking at Fluttershy.

"Or waaaat?" Judge sang as he grinned.

Cheesy stood up and span round faster than anybody could see and firmly planted has right metal foot in Judge's testies. Judge's eyes started to tear up as his face went red and he collapsed with a loud gasp.

"Sorry aboot that darlin" Cheesy said as he crouched back down to meet Fluttershy's eyes.

"Oh um... it's fine" Fluttershy smiled at Cheesy who returned the gesture.

"Right sorry tay intterupt but it's pitch black oot heer and it's fuckin freezin inawe" Dermo piped up for the first time since waking up.

"Oh you're right... would you four like to spend the night at my cottage and we'll find somewhere else for you to stay in the morning?" Fluttershy asked with a smile.

"FUCKIN ACE!" the four humans shouted before following Fluttershy back to her home.

Author's Note

This is the first chapter of my first story please rate fairly and feedback would greatly appreciated. Also I am sorry for my poor spelling or writing skills but I think I might have multiple syndromes.

-HamstringBrony

Chapter 13: The Journey part 1

The Elements of Harmony, Cadence and Shining awoke in the bunker. It was quiet and still until Pinkie Pie broke the silence.

"OhmygoshthatwasthebestpartyeverIwonderifallhumansaregoodatthrowingpartiesmaybeIshouldaskthem-" any further attempt to talk was stopped by Applejack, who placed a hoof over Pinkie's mouth.

"Were are they anyway?" asked Rainbow as she hovered lazily above the group.

"Yeah I don't think getting outta here is gonna be easy without the guys' help" said Shining with a yawn.

At that moment a muffled roar was heard from the door behind them. They all turned to face the door with worried gazes before it was hit by something. Suddenly the door slid open and Artemus ran out, quickly closing the door behind him. His metal face didn't show any emotion but he just looked scarred.

"Oh you're all up" said Artemus with a big grin.

"What was that?" asked Fluttershy quietly.

"Oh...that. That was Seragus' pet going fuckin mental at me" said Artemus with a glance at the door.

"Well would you like me to try and calm...um....what gender is the pet?" asked Fluttershy.

"It's female" said Artemus.

"Well would you like me to try and calm her down? I'm very good with animals" said Fluttershy with a gentle smile.

"Are you confident that you can do it?" asked Artemus with a worried glance from Fluttershy to the door.

"I think it's worth a shot".

Artemus then walked over to the door and hit the button next to it. The door slid open to reveal a giant creature. It was taller than Artemus and was covered in gray plates. In between the plates were dull red flesh. The creature also had multiple spikes sticking out of it's body and it appeared to be blind. The creature stopped walking around the room and sniffed the air. It slowly turned to face Fluttershy who was standing in front of everybody else. The creature began walking towards Fluttershy making her shrink back. The creature then bent down and picked her up. Artemus got into a fighting stance, ready to distract it so Fluttershy could get away. However the creature then let out a sound half way between a growl and a purr before hugging Fluttershy close to it's body, careful not to impale her on any of the sharp spikes.

"Awww you're just a big cutie aren't you? Yes you are yes you are" said Fluttershy as she rubbed the creatures head with her hoof.

"Well slap my ass" said Artemus with a big grin.

"What is that thing?" asked Twilight as she stepped closer to the creature, slightly less frightened that it was going to eat her.

"Well were it's from it's called a Berserker. It comes from the same place as War and Death" said Artemus. "They're extremely dangerous and to tell the truth I've seen them kill just as many of it's own soldiers as the enemy's".

The Berserker then put Fluttershy down and sat on the floor in front of everyone. It still looked terrifying but it couldn't smile as far as anyone could tell.

"So does Seragus know how to look after her then?" asked Fluttershy with a smile

"I don't think so, every time he goes near her she freaks out and tries to kill him" laughed Artemus.

"Well I could look after her if you'd like" said Fluttershy.

"OK then but she'll have to stay here. If she freaks out she'll destroy the town and probably eat the residents" Artemus said with a look towards the Berserker.

Everyone was shocked to see that the Berserker had turned a very dull yellow color and had an even duller image of Fluttershy's cutie mark on it's chest.

"What the fuck happened there?" asked Artemus. "Its almost like she's bonded to you".

"Does she have a name?" asked Fluttershy.

"Nope"

"Can I name her?"

"OK then".

"Hmmm.....I'll name her Cuddles" said Fluttershy as she hugged Cuddles' leg.

"Awww well aint that sweet" said Applejack.

"Do you all have pets?" asked Cadence.

"Yes we do, I'll show you mine if you want" said Artemus.

"Sure" said everypony.

"Umm Fluttershy you'll have to put Cuddles back in her cell" said Artemus.

"Oh alright then". "Go on girl get back in you're cell. I'll see you later OK?" said Fluttershy in a calm quiet tone. Cuddles growled slightly and walked back into her cell.

"Right lets go see the big guy" said Artemus.

The group walked down a corridor for awhile before stopping in front of a metal door. The door opened to reveal a frightening creature. It was jet-black with glowing red eyes and was covered in plates of bone just like Cuddles. It was large and walked on four legs. It looked at the group before looking straight at Artemus. It mover forward with loud thuds as it's legs thumped along the metal floor. It stopped just in front of the group before Artemus jumped on it's back. It let out a quiet sound like it spat something out and looked at the eight ponies in front of it. It extended two mandibles from it's head and touched Twilight's head. It then let out a sound that sounded like a dog whining and sat down on the floor. Artemus then jumped off it's back and stood with the rest of the ponies.

"Why is it staring at me like that?" asked Twilight slightly worried.

"I think he likes you Twilight" said Rainbow as she rubbed the creatures head.

"Whats his name?" asked Shining.

"I call him Tank" said Artemus.

"Hey I have a pet turtle called Tank" said Rainbow with a smile.

"Well there won't be any confusion because he responds to Big Man as well. So when I need him I can just shout Big Man come here!" said Artemus with a chuckle.

"Well this has been fun but I think we should get home. There's a lot of stuff to do, due to the Changeling King and his undead army probably planning there next attack" said Shining.

A puff of green flame fluttered the a nearby air vent and formed a letter in front of Twilight's face. She grabbed the letter in her magic and read it out.

"My dear pupil Twilight Sparkle, It has recently come to my attention that the Changeling King is planning to attack Manehattan. I request the presence of the Elements and the four humans. Please hurry as fast as you can to Canterlot. Princess Celestia" finished Twilight with a worried look on her face.

"These Changelings aren't going to spare any pony in Manehattan are they?" asked Artemus with a low growl.

"No these Changelings don't feed on love they feed on death and destruction" said Cadence.

"You lot get to Canterlot as fast as you can. I'm going to get the lads together and we're going to go into Manehattan with enough fire power to level a city and KILL THE FUCKERS!" Artemus shouted.

(Three hours later in Canterlot)

Artemus, Seragus, Magnus, Viagol, the Elements, Shining Armor and some guards stood in front of Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Chrysalis.

"Artemus I believe Equestria is in serious danger and that you you're friends and the Elements are all that can save it" said Celestia. "I ask you to help us in our time of need to destroy the Changeling King".

"Celestia you don't have to ask. Equestria's the first place we've been to in quite some time that is almost completely peaceful. We're not going to let it burn as long as we're still breathing". said Artemus.

"If you're willing to send some guards along to help, the experience they'll gain will be invaluable to helping defend Equestria" said Seragus.

"Very well. Shining Armor are these terms acceptable?" asked Celestia.

"Yes you're majesty. I and ten of my men will be going with them to help fight in Manehattan" said Shining with a salute.

"Well before you lot are going anywhere with us we need to kit you out for the journey and the fighting" said Artemus.

"What exactly is wrong with the equipment that the guards are wearing?" asked Celestia.

Artemus waved War over and whispered in his ear. War nodded and walked over to one of the guards standing next to Shining.

"Give me the armor" War said as he put his hand out in front of him.

The guard looked to Shining who nodded. He then took of the golden chest plate and handed it to War who promptly tore it in half with his bare hands. Everypony starred awe struck at the mangled pile of metal that was now on the floor.

"We modified some armor for you lot at the bunker" said Artemus.

He walked over to a large crate that he and Seragus had brought in earlier. He then pulled the front off it and took out multiple machines. He picked one up labeled Rarity and placed it on the ground in front of her. The machines were large squares with four hoof prints at each corner. Rarity took the hint and placed her hooves on the prints. Suddenly a metal arm rose from the center of the square and rapped around her waist. Her hooves were then clamped with metal that then moved over her body like it was growing. After several seconds Rarity had a full suit of armor on accept from her head. On her back there was a pale blue bar. The armor itself was a gray with a picture of her cutie mark on her flank. Suddenly a tiny arm placed a piece of metal on her muzzle and another place a piece on the back of her head. They to spread across her head until she was completely helmeted. The helmet was the same color as her armor and had three pale purple slits on the front of it so she could see. Rarity took a moment to examine herself before letting out a squeel and jumping up and down.

"I love it. It's so clean and pristine and comfortable" said Rarity while jumping.

"Oh do me do me!" squeeled Pinkie as she jumped up and down.

About five minutes later everypony was armored up. Each Element with there own colors and cutie marks. Shining Armor had a dull golden armor with hints of purple in it and the rest of the guards had dull golden armor with hints of gray in them.

"Right, now you need some weapons" said Seragus as he opened another crate.

"I'm sure that my magic will do just fine against them" said Twilight.

"Fine then you don't have to have a weapon" said Artemus with a shrug.

"Hmm Applejack, I think you'll like this one" said Seragus.

"Oh yeah? What makes ya think tha'?" asked Applejack with a raised eyebrow.

"Well you're a farmer right?"

"Yeah"

"Well were we're from farmers use shotgun's to defend their land" said Seragus.

"Oh alright then" said Applejack as she looked at the machine in front of her.

Seragus put the rig on her back. There was a piece that went in her mouth, it was the trigger. It was in the shape of teeth, an upside down 'U' shape. The actual shotgun was a double barreled shotgun that sat to the right side of her face. It was long with one barrel on top and the other on the bottom. There was a sight at the end of the barrels in the shape of an apple. The sight was made of glass but it had a tiny red apple in the center of it clearly for aiming the weapon more accurately. Applejack took a moment to examine the weapon before nodding to Seragus with a grin.

"You're right ah do like it" said Applejack.

After another five to ten minutes later everypony had their weapons. Even Twilight had given in and took one. Applejack had her shotgun, Rainbow Dash had an SMG, Rarity had a rifle, Twilight had a sniper rifle, Pinkie Pie had a LMG, Fluttershy had a minigun which had to be fitted with six large silencers, the guards had assault rifles and Shining Armor had a triple barreled machine gun.

"Right are all those guns sitting comfortably and tightly. We don't want them falling off in a fire fight" said Artemus.

"Yup" said everypony in unison.

"Right then good we'll get moving now then. We brought a couple vehicles with us as well so we should get there quicker" said Artemus.

"What kind of vehicles?" asked one of the guards.

"Fuckin big ones that's what kind" said Artemus with a grin.

The group left the castle and walked out the front gates of Canterlot. The ponies in the group almost froze in pure awe. In front of the gates of Canterlot was a gigantic metal tank. It was easily eighty hooves (forty feet) high and over one hundred hooves long. It was a dark gray color and had two massive guns on the main turret, along with two large guns on the back and a smaller gun under the main turret.

"Waoh" said everypony in unison.

"This mares and gentlecolts is the P-1000 Ratte. The biggest war machine as far as we know ever built. It weighs over five hundred tons and no brakes!" shouted Artemus.

"Why doesn't it have any brakes?" asked Shining.

"There's no brakes on the Rape Train big man" Artemus laughed before walking up the massive ramp at the back of the tank followed by the rest of the group.