Barrelled Up

by KitsuneRisu

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Spa Ponies, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Applejack
Length: 1913

Rarity spots Applejack hanging out by the spa in town... and discovers a dirty secret

When Rarity sees Applejack hanging out by a certain building in town more and more, she can't help but to confront the little farmer and find out exactly what's going on...

A short fic written for a writing exercise as part of my little Skype group, with the constraints of a prompt and a word limit of 1500 - 2000 words. One of my lighter and sillier pieces. Written to get out of poo-head.

Published 2013-03-28 07:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-28 07:20:01 UTC

Barrelled Up

Rarity first noticed the visits by accident, and an accident was what she originally ascribed as the reason for why she saw Applejack enter the spa.

But the weeks turned by, and it soon came to light that the down-to-earth farmer wasn’t visiting the beautification store without purpose.

Rarity had watched. Taken note. Observed as Applejack came directly from the farm with her fresh haul of apples in barrels, no doubt on her way to sell them in the Ponyville market square. This happened weekly. Not always on the same day, but it happened between Tuesday and Thursday, and it was always before Applejack opened her little produce stand.

Applejack would go into the spa by the back way, too, to avoid being seen by passersby. And in a very short half-an-hour to forty-five minutes, she’d emerge once again with a blow-dried mane and a fresh sheen glinting off her coat.

Today, her cart screeched to a halt, and her eyes blew up and her mouth hung open, only because there was, between her and the back door, a very innocent-looking Rarity who decided that it was time to get to the bottom of this.

Rarity’s grin was as wide as Applejack’s frown was long. But the frown gave way to a determined look of focus as Applejack unhooked her cart and stood her ground.

“Hello, dearie,” Rarity lilted, singing her greeting with the tone of an overly-energetic bluebird. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Hello, Rarity,” Applejack grumbled back. “This ain’t no accident now, is it?”

“Why, whatever do you mean?” Rarity played, feigning innocence so unconvincingly that a mere child could have told that she was lying.

But this was what she did, and Applejack knew it. This was part of the game, and she knew that Rarity wanted everyone to know that she knew. It was the dance that Applejack refused to keep rhythm to.

“I have m’ reasons,” Applejack said, breaking the tempo, looking away. “And I don’t need t’ tell you nothin’.”

“Why, Applejack. Applejack!” Rarity stepped up the pace, introducing a new beat. “Certainly you don’t want for everypony to know, do you?”

There were a hundred and one answers that Applejack could have given. None of them would have been good enough. Applejack went for the truth.

“No. I don’t. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t either.”

“Now, Applejack. There’s no need to be... moody,” Rarity said, with a little giggle. “You were just about to head in. Why don’t we have a little session together. I’m ever so curious as to what you do in there.”

Applejack sighed, the strain reaching her forehead, which required a quick rub to ease. “Fine, Rarity. But you gotta promise me. After I tell you, you’ll drop it, alright? And that means no goin’ around gossipin’ to the others as well.”

“Agreed,” Rarity trilled happily, dragging Applejack into the back door.

“Oh,” Aloe said, when she caught sight of Applejack and Rarity coming in through the service entrance. She was waiting there, waiting for her. The mystery deepened.

“Oh,” Aloe said. “Oh.”

Oh.

“That’s right.” Rarity nodded. “Applejack here’s brought a guest. You wouldn’t mind accommodating the two of us, would you? Of course, I’ll pay for it. In fact, I’ll be glad to give Applejack here a treat! What do you say, my dear?”

“Th- th’ usual, please.” Applejack locked eyes with one half of the spa twins, her head tilted to the side in an unnatural way. She looked weary, defeated, and the soft, long sigh that she gave before nodding was all the notification that Aloe required to go running off to prepare.

It was only a few minutes before Aloe returned, with Lotus in tow, the two of them ushering Rarity and Applejack to a couple of massage tables, upon which they both clambered.

It was one of the more luxurious of the treatments. Not the most pricey on the menu, but certainly the most pampering for those who enjoyed things like that. A gracious amount of sea-salt was poured upon the shoulders of the two ponies, one of whom cringed as her relative masseur scratched it into her skin.

“So, this is what you come here for, hmm?” Rarity remarked, closing her eyes and taking in the experience fully. “Quite a good choice, I must say. Ooh! That’s wonderful!”

Rarity squeaked a bit as Lotus added the rosemary and eucalyptus oil; the hard and soft sensations mixing to give a sensory feedback the likes of which she found most pleasurable indeed.

“Why so quiet, Applejack?”

Lotus and Aloe giggled.

“‘I just don’t like talkin’ while I’m gettin’ my... uh... back done.”

“It’s called a body treatment, dear. Don’t they teach you anything in this place?”

“I... uh... never asked,” Applejack said, not one to blame others for her own lack of knowledge. “Never seemed a reason t-”

The orange blob scrunched up as Aloe reached her hips.

“Just relax,” the masseur said, looking to her sister and giving a little guilty smile.

“I just...”

Rarity sighed, opening her eyes, and stared sideways at her companion. As much as she enjoyed the torture of a close, personal friend, sometimes you just had to buckle down and get to the point of things.

“So, Applejack, tell me, please.”

“W-whut?” Applejack said, cringing on the table like an overbaked pretzel.

“Clearly you’re not enjoying this. Why are you putting yourself through it? Every week? And just before you go to market? What is this about?”

“It ain’t nothin’!” Applejack claimed, almost whining in her tone. “Really. I... I’m just tryin’ somethin’ different, okay?”

“No, that’s not the truth, and you and I both know it. So what’s the real reason?”

Applejack pushed her face down into the table. At least it was padded.

“I... just wanna look good for market, alright?” she said, impatiently, pulling her face back up. “That’s all. Really.”

“I just don’t think that’s... oh. Oh!” Rarity cut herself off, a glint of understanding appearing in her eye. “You want to look good for market!”

“Uh... yeah, that’s what I said. Now can we just leave it at th-”

“Who is it? Who is it?” Rarity yelled, gleefully, sprinkles of salt scattering to the floor as she jerked upward.

“Oh!” Lotus exclaimed, replenishing the scrub, salting a salmon.

“Wh- Aw, no, Rarity! C’mon!” Applejack yelled out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

“I-”

“Don’t deny it! There’s only one reason why anypony would gussy up so much for a public event, and that’s to look their best for somepony.”

Applejack searched for a way out. The door wasn’t a likely solution. She turned and stared - pleaded - with Aloe for something, but all Aloe could give was a slight shrug and a look of sorrow.

“So, who is it?” Rarity asked, her playful sing-song voice returning at the scent of hot gossip.

“B-but you can’t tell anypony, alright? You promised!” Applejack clamoured, mind racing.

“Oh... that’s no fun,” Rarity wheezed. “But a promise is a promise. The information shall not leave this room.”

“It’s... you,” Applejack said.

And for once, Rarity found herself without anything to say.

All there was, for a few moments, were the scrubbing noises of salt being rubbed into flesh.

“Me,” Rarity confirmed.

“Yeah, you. I was tryin’ t’ impress you, alright?” Applejack grumbled. “Don’t make a big deal out of it or nothin’.”

“You are... attracted t-”

“No, no. It ain’t... like that. Not really. I was just tryin’ t’... you know. I guess I wanted to show ya that I could have a little... grace or somethin’. That I wasn’t just all overalls an’ apples.”

“W- why Applejack! That’s marvellous!” Rarity shot up again, much to the annoyance of Lotus. “But why then, why were you hiding this, if this was for me?”

“I guess I just wanted ya t’ think I could do it myself, not that I had to rely on... y’know.”

“Oh, nonsense! Utter nonsense! This is fantastic news! Finally, I’ll have somepony to come to the spa with! And I mean, Fluttershy is a wonderful companion and all, but she doesn’t talk much and...”

“Whoa there, Rarity.”

“... and you simply must try the facials and, oh, have you tried the new mud baths? They’re divine, dear, and...”

“Whoa! Rarity!” Applejack shouted. “One... one step at a time, okay? I know you’re pretty excited about all this, but I’m sorta... new to it. So let’s just go slow.”

Rarity smiled, sighing contentedly.

“Very well. But next week then, we shall have our first group outing! It shall be ever so much fun!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Alright, Rarity. If y’ say so.”

The end to the experience left Applejack behind at the spa to take care of a few things while Rarity excused herself to get back to a sewing job she’d been working on.

With some space to breathe, and a very itchy back, Applejack was free to re-enter the spa, skin crawling from the remnants of the treatment.

She rolled the barrel in, and stopped it in front of Aloe.

“Well, y’all weren’t much help, were ya?” Applejack said, disgruntledly.

“Oh, we’re sorry,” Aloe said in her foreign accent, although she couldn’t hide the smile on her face, and neither could her sister. “We try not to get involved with the customers.”

“Yeah, likely,” Applejack grumbled. “How can y’all stand this stuff? I mean, no offence, but I feel like I’ve been bitten by a thousand bugs!”

“Well, it was quite the sacrifice you made, going through all that,” Lotus mentioned, opening the curtains to the room with the baths. “Why did you say it was her that you were doing it for?”

“Well, because it’s more... manageable, I guess,” Applejack explained, rolling the barrel next to a depression in the floor made out of marble. “I mean, if I went and just said anypony’s name, she’d be sure t’ check, promise or no. At least this way it’ll remain between me and her.”

Aloe and Lotus stood far back.

“Well, fresh from the farms,” Applejack said, “as it is every week. I’m gonna need a shower after this.”

“Of course, as always,” Lotus said, nodding.

Applejack pushed the barrel onto its side.“I still don’t know what y’all see in this.”

“Well, some ponies like it. Rarity likes it.”

“Oh, I know. I just find it... different, is all,” Applejack mused.

“But why did you have to cover this up? Why did you not just tell her the truth?”

“You don’t understand her,” Applejack said. “She’ll never understand it. She’ll never live it down. She’ll never come back to the spa. It’s best this way.”

“But to make up such a story and to sacrifice your own dignity?”

Applejack sighed. It was kind of ironic, in a way. “Yeah. Guess so.”

“You really do like her, don’t you?”

Applejack’s cheeks turned a shade closer to what her name would suggest.

Aloe and Lotus continued with the giggles.

“Well, it don’t matter,” Applejack said, giving the barrel a swift kick, breaking the top. From behind the hole, a thick, goopy, mucky muck flowed viscously into the marble receptacle.

Applejack watched as the mud that she scraped off the pig sty floor, rich in ‘minerals’ and ‘ph value’ or whatever it was that Aloe once said made it so ideal, fill the mud bath.

“She must never know.” Applejack nodded. “Never.”

End