I Once Was Lost, But Now Am Found

Some say, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." and "Sometimes life throws you a curve ball." What they failed to mention is that sometimes life decides that you took a shit in its cereal and decides to royally fuck with you. In my case, as in many, I ended up having to bend over and take it up the tail pipe. By now your probably confused as to why I'm telling this, well let me explain.

My story begins on Monday, June 22nd, 2013 to be precise; A day I'll never forget. I had just turned 17 on the 17th and I'd just finished the first half of my Sophomore year of high school at Sheldon High School in Sacramento, CA. (I got held back a year in elementary school, sue me.) I lived about 30 minutes southeast of there in small town by the name of Sloughhouse, CA. Not a whole lot of note out there, just the Davis Ranch Corn Stand and the Sloughhouse Inn. Lot's of beef cattle, in fact a number of large swaths of land were held by the same families that had owned it since back when it was still Mexican Territory and the Mexican government was still giving out land grants. It was nice place to live: Peaceful, plenty of land, and on clear Spring day, you could see the snow capped peaks of the Sierra Nevada's in all their majesty.

I lived in a nice two story house on about five and half acres with my parents Jon and Laura, 3 cats, 3 dogs, 4 chickens, 2 horses, 30 to 40 goats (and a partridge in a pear tree). I kid, I kid, but seriously it was a nice life. I was doing well in school, A's and B's and all that jazz, and I was studying to be a video game programmer for somebody like id Software or Valve.

Anyway, during the school year, I was talking to an old friend of mine who lived up in Washington state and he invited me to come up and hang with him for the summer. It sounded like an awesome time so I accepted. When the 22nd of June rolled around I was packing up all my stuff, my gaming computer, my console, my guns, a shitload of movies, an equally large shitload of books, and a fuckton of video games.

The time finally came for me to head out and as I went out to my van (a 1996 Plymouth Grand Voyager, a hand me down from my grandparents) my parents came out to say goodbye to me. Gave a kiss to my mom and a hug to my dad. I promised them that I would call them when I crossed the California/Oregon border, when I crossed the Oregon/Washington Border, and when I finally arrived at my friends place. After I started my van, I gave my parents one last wave goodbye and they did the same before I drove down the driveway and onto the road to begin my trip. Little did all of us realize that it would be the last time we would ever see each other again.....

About three hours later, I'm going about 85 MPH on I-5 after I passed through Redding. Now It's about 6:00 in the morning and at this point I'm driving along when weird purple energy field shows up out of nowhere in the middle of the road and before I can react, I've ended up already driving into it.

There's some big white flash and of a sudden I'm speeding through an apple orchard. I'm still fucking freaked out so I don't even think to press the brake and I end up hitting this scarecrow (which looked like a horse for some reason). Due to the fact that I completely freaked out because I've ended up in an apple orchard, I start screaming my head off. The scare-horse? falls away from the car a few seconds later only to reveal that I'm about to run into a barn. I decided to do the smart thing and scream even harder. As you can guess I ended up going through the open door and slammed into a giant pile of straw.

I'm out for a couple a minutes due to the impact. When I come to, my heads banging like a drum so I decided to get out and see what's going on. I get out and the first thing I see is group of three ponies, One really fucking big red guy wearing a yoke, a flannel shirt, and jeans, a smaller orange one wearing a Stetson hat, a different color flannel shirt and a pair of jeans (I'm sensing a pattern here), and one of comparable size that was maybe Puce colored? I don't know, anyway she was wearing, wait for it..........a flannel shirt and jeans. We're all just standing there with 'What the....fuck?' looks on our faces until I realize, "Holy Shit....I'm in the fucking My Little Pony Universe...." I just start laughing, slowly at first but building up speed until I'm laughing really fucking hard and it's not because I think it's funny, It's because I've gone Section 8. I do that for about 5 minutes while they get progressively more creeped out by me until I just stop laughing and fall over flat on my face unconscious.

And that.......is how I ended up in Equestria.....

My name's Paul and this is my story.................