A week and half had passed since the day when Paul had come to Apple Bloom's aid. That day was still razor sharp in her mind as she couldn't believe that in the course of a single day Paul had become her assignment partner and knight in shining armor, actually more like foul-mouthed knight in shining sport jacket, backwards baseball cap, and fingerless gloves, but a knight nonetheless. During the course of that week and half, Paul was her guardian angel, showing up to school before her and walking her to class everyday. True to his word, Diamond Tiara had not bothered Apple Bloom at all during that time period and Apple Bloom was the happiest filly she'd ever been.

The bell to signal the end of second period and the beginning of lunch rang at the usual appointed time of 11:30. Paul raised his head to look at the clock and had trouble believing that class was already over. He looked over at Joe to see he was talking to Scootaloo and after he had finished what he had to say, gave her a passionate kiss.

"Those two...." Paul thought to himself with a smile on his face. He quickly got with the program, however, and filed out of the class along with the rest of the students. Paul was halfway down the hall when heard a voice call to him from behind, "HEY BENDER!"

Paul turned around to face the voice but he already knew it belonged to as he cracked a small smile. "HEY YOURSELF, COWBOY!" He returned as Joe ran up to him.

"How's it going man?" Joe asked.

"Okay, things have been a little more interesting around here than usual for me lately." Paul replied.

"Really? Well, I was going to have lunch at Tony's today, want to tag along?" Joe offered

"Sure......Tony's....isn't that the place you played hero in and almost got blown up in a propane explosion?" He said teasingly.

"Ughh...I was not almost blown up in a propane explosion....Tony just likes exaggerating for dramatic effect." Joe replied in an exasperated tone of voice.

"Okay, Okay....You got admit, it does sound a hell of a lot cooler that way though." Paul said

"Yeah, Yeah, anyway you coming?" Joe asked.

"Lead the way cowboy." Paul replied as he followed Joe out the door.

Paul followed Joe out of the school and around the corner to his 1967 Ford Shelby Cobra. "Wow man, you really keep this thing in top of the line condition."

"Well, It's my girl, got to take good care of her." He said as he and Paul got into the car.

"I thought Scootaloo was your girl." Paul said jokingly.

"Well then it's my OTHER girl, if you're gonna split hairs." Joe said in faux sarcastic voice as he started the engine.

Paul chuckled to himself, he always liked messing with Joe, it was just so much fun.

With that Joe threw the car into first gear and pressed down on the accelerator as the car left the front school lot.

10 minutes later they rolling down the main Ponyville-Oxton road at 85 MPH. As they drove along, Paul reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a cigarette and his Zippo lighter. "Hey Joe, it all right if I smoke?"

Joe took a deep sigh, "Yeah, okay man, just roll down the window, would you kindly?"

"Sure thing Fontaine." Paul replied as he rolled down the window before bringing the cigarette to his lips and opening his lighter with a flick of his thumb, lighting it up, and bringing the flame to the end of the cigarette. Paul quickly closed the lid on the lighter and took a long drag on the cigarette before exhaling out the window.

"You know you shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you." Joe stated.

"Yeah, well we shouldn't be in world populated by talking pastel colored ponies, but apparently nobody got that memo." Paul said bitterly before taking another drag. He knew Joe meant well but he just didn't want to hear it.

"Why do you smoke anyway?" Joe inquired.

"Because it helps ease the pain." Paul said curtly. "And that's all we're going to discuss about that matter, clear?"

"Okay, Okay, man sorry." Joe quickly apologized. He may have been Paul's only real friend but he knew when to back off and this was one of those times.

Another 10 minutes had passed as the two teenagers sat in silence while the car traveled down the road. The silence was becoming unnerving so Joe made an attempt to break it with some humor.

"So, that was pretty clever quip you pulled on Mr K. in biology class on Monday." Joe said laughingly.

"What quip? What are you talking abo.....Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...That quip...." Paul said as mischievous grin spread across his face..............................

Monday, 1:50 P.M.

It had been a particularly boring day in biology for Paul, the fact that he shared the class with Joe and Apple Bloom was of small comfort. Mr K. had been talking about the subject of asexual reproduction and about the animals that reproduced via that method. When Paul heard this he whispered something to Joe, who chuckled to himself before passing it on to Apple Bloom. When Apple Bloom heard it she began loudly giggling uncontrollably. At this Mr. K. turned around from writing on the board and said, "MS. APPLE! What is so amusing?"Apple Bloom continued to giggle uncontrollably as instinctively turned to face Paul who turned away and said "What?"

Mr. K turned to Paul and said, "Alright Paul....." as Paul turned to face him, "Maybe you could tell us who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex."

At this Paul stated, "Ummmmmmm.....your wife?" At this the entire class erupted into laughter with Apple Bloom now having tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

Mr. K stood at the front of the class with a very unamused look on his face before saying "Get out, Paul. Get out."

At this Paul put on his sunglasses, hat, and backpack, and stood up before saying to Apple Bloom and Joe, "Well, see guys later....." he said as he walked to door. Before exiting he said, "You know Mr. K. you really should bring in wife seeing as she is an expert in that field of study...."

"OUT!!" Mr. K yelled as the class laughed even harder.

"Thank you everyone you've been a lovely audience, I'm here till Friday, don't forget to tip your waitress." Paul concluded.

"OUT!!!!" Mr. K once again yelled as the class literally fell out of their seats at this point.

"Later." Paul said before zipping out the door.

Both teenagers burst out laughing as they approached the Ponyville city limits. "Don't forget to tip your waitress!!" Joe said almost choking on laughter.

"OUT!!!!" Paul yelled before succumbing to his own uncontrollable laughter.

The two laughed for a few more minutes before Joe pulled up in front of Tony's Place. "Alright funny man, we're here." he said as he got out of the car with Paul doing the same. "Good, I'm hungry enough to eat a horse. Whoops, probably shouldn't say that." He said as he dropped the remains of his cigarette and crushed them under foot before following Joe inside.

As soon as they walked inside they were almost instantly greeted warmly by the owner Mario. "Hey, Joey! How's a my favorite customer?"

"How ya doing Mario?" Joe replied

"Good, good, hey I see you brought a your friend Paul here!" Mario said greeting Paul happily.

"What's up man?" Paul said nonchalantly as he shook Mario's hoof with his fingerless gloved hand. "Hey did you ever burn that spoon?" he said chuckling. "Actually yes, I a did that a while back."

"What you mean 'burn that spoon'?" Joe inquired.

"Just a little a inside a joke." Mario replied "Now let's take you two to your a table."

"Lead the way Marco Polo." Paul said as he followed Joe and Mario to their table.

As two teenagers sat at their table, Mario spoke, "What can I a get you two?"

"I'll have the usual spaghetti." Joe replied.

"I'll have the lasagna, no mushrooms with a J&B straight up." Paul requested.

"Jesus Paul, it's only 12:10. Don't you think it's a little early to be drinking?" Joe asked

"Okay, three things Joe: 1. It's 5:00 somewhere. 2. I'm 18, I'm old enough to drink where and when I good and God damn feel like. And 3. I thought we agreed not to talk about my choice of indulgences?" He said curtly.

"Okay, Okay man I'm sorry." Joe said backing down.

"Good........now Mario....... like I said before: J&B straight up." He said switching back to a pleasant attitude.

"At once." Mario replied heading to the kitchen to prepare their orders and to get Paul his drink.

About 20 minutes had passed before Mario returned with their food and Paul's glass of J&B. 'Please enjoy your meal." Mario said before departing.

The two spent about 10 minutes eating their food before Paul finally spoke.

"Now....." Paul said before taking a swig of his scotch. "Can we talk about something else?....." Paul asked

"Yeah......" Joe replied trying to think of something to once again break up the tension. A smile came to his face when he finally thought of something.

"Scuttlebutt has it that you've been spending a lot of time with Apple Bloom lately...." Joe said with a teasing smile on his face.

"Maybe I have.....What of it?" Paul replied

"Rumor also has it that Diamond Tiara was giving her trouble and you managed to put a stop to it. How'd you do that?" Joe asked.

"Simple.....I pulled out my switchblade and threatened to give her and her goons a Glasgow grin." He said nonchalantly as he took another swig of his J&B.

At this Joe choked a bit on some of his spaghetti before he managed to form a sentence. "Wha, you did what? Are you crazy?"

"Probably......" Paul replied as he took bite from his lasagna. "Besides what are you so flustered about? You kicked ever loving shit out of her muscle a couple of times. But then again that's probably why she doesn't fear you. Me on the other hand..........She looks at me like I'm her own personal fucking grim reaper. But that would have to do with the fact I shoved her ass to the floor and threatened to slit her throat when she pulled that stunt she did with you that one time. Bitch ruined my bananas AND my fucking rug. Damn that rug really tied the room together." Paul said in a calm manner.

Joe choked a lot more after that bit of information. "You should really drink some water man."

"You....you would have slit her throat!?" he said trying to maintain his composure.

"NO! Of course not!" Paul said which calmed Joe down a bit who took a sip of his water. "That would have gotten blood all over my carpet." he said nonchalantly as he took another sip of his J&B.

"PPPPHHHHBBBTTTTT!!!!!" Hearing this bit caused Joe to do a very large spit take which ended up getting water all over Paul's face. He in turn simply blinked before wiping off his face with his napkin. He then started laughing his head off at Joe's reaction. "Jesus Christ man!" he said as he continued to laugh. "I was kidding, I wouldn't have actually done those things, I just wanted to put the fear of God into her!" "Geeez, Apple Bloom took this a hell of a lot easier when I told her."

"Yeah.....let's get back to that." Joe replied still a bit weirded out by what Paul said. "Anyway, like I said before rumor's been going around that you and Apple Bloom are spending a lot time together."

"What are you talking about? I just walk her to class and maybe talk to her sometimes, that's it!" Paul said defensively. "There's nothing going on between us!"

"Aw come on man, you've got have noticed how she always lights up with a smile whenever she see's your face. Not to mention she's always looking for opportunities to get close to you. She likes you man, and I'm pretty sure you like her as well."

"Okay, I've smoked some good stuff but whatever your on right now, I want 50 bits worth." Paul joked.

"I'm serious man, every time I've seen you talk to her, you always loosen up a bit, you feel more comfortable around her, and don't think I haven't caught you sneaking a peak at her flank." He said in playful voice and elbowing Paul in the ribs.

"Fuck you, man. Fuck......You." He said in a dismissive tone. "I honestly don't think you have any room to be talking about how a filly's obviously got the hots for you considering what you and Scootaloo went through. I mean come on, the girl's rubbing one out in your bathroom and you didn't even notice. I may be dense, but I'm not that fucking dense."

"How do you know about that?" Joe said in a hushed voice.

"I have my sources." Paul said with a smug smile.

"Well that maybe, but it doesn't make my point any less valid." Joe shot back.

"Touche." Paul replied.

Paul looked at his digital watch to see that it read: 1:10 P.M. "Awww shit!" He said as he quickly finished the last of his lasagna and J&B. "We got 20 minutes till class starts!"

"Fuck." Joe replied as quickly wolfed down the last of his spaghetti and tossed some money on table with Paul quickly doing the same. "Money's on the table Mario. Gotta go!" Joe yelled as he and Paul ran out the door and hopped into the Shelby Cobra.

"Don't stop for lights, cops, nothing." Paul said as he put on his Ray Bans.

"Wayyyy ahead of you." Joe said as he put on his hat, turned over the engine, threw it into first gear and sped off.

10 Minutes Later......

Apple Bloom was sitting on the front steps of the school waiting for Paul as she had become so used to being his shadow and vice versa. With some time to spare, she began her usual habit of day dreaming about herself and Paul.

For this daydream she took in a more risky fantasy. She imagined that she had been standing at her locker getting her books when all of a sudden Paul showed up behind her.

"AHH! Oh, it's yah Paul. Yah scared me there fer a second." She said as he stood there with a crooked smile on his face. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yeah......Everything's great...." He said before he shoved her against her locker and pushed himself extremely close to her, close enough to where she could easily see the outline of his chest through his shirt. Apple Bloom gave a small squeak as he began to deeply kiss her. After a minute he stopped to say, "You...Me.....that storage closet....now....."

"But, but, but what if someone hears us? What if they mmphf!" she said as he cut her off with a kiss.

"You worry too much." he said as he easily lifted Apple Bloom into his arms and carried her into the closet. He gingerly laid her down before saying, "Now...." he said as he took off his pants and hers as well, "I think it's time to give you what you've been waiting for...." He said as he laid over her while her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates in anticipation. Now it's time to...*SCREEEECHH!!!*

Apple Bloom eyes shot open to see that Joe's Shelby Cobra has screeched to halt around the corner of the school building as she saw both Joe and Paul running towards the entrance. "Hey Apple Bloom, what are you doing sitting out here by yourself?"

Apple Bloom quickly collected herself before answering, "I was.....just waitin' for yah, so we could go to Biology class together, seein' as yah are mah guardian angel."

"Fair enough..." he said as he looked past her to see Joe making kissing motions about him and Apple Bloom.

"Hey Apple Bloom, do you see something over there?" He said as he pointed to the direction of the football field.

"Where?" She asked.

"Over that direction." Now with her properly distracted, Paul took the opportunity to flip Joe the Bird for his teasing, who in turn just chuckled.

"Ah don't see anything." She stated

"Must have been my imagination. Aw well, lets get to class Angel Face." he said as he walked beside her. "YOU TOO COWBOY!" He yelled at Joe who had stopped making kissing gestures when Apple Bloom looked over at him.

Joe chuckled to himself as he caught up to them, but not before finding and bringing along Scootaloo. "Hey scoots." He said before giving her a kiss.

"Hey yourself Joe." she replied. "So where did you go?"

"I went to lunch with Paul, apparently he's been spending a lot of time with Apple Bloom lately."

"Really? It's nice that she managed to find someone else after Bane." Scootaloo said as she walked with Joe behind Paul and Apple Bloom.

"Well from what I've seen, she's head over heels for him." Joe replied, "However, he keeps insisting that there's nothing going on, that he's just being friendly and helping her."

"Really? Sounds like something somepony would say when they're trying to hide something. Like feelings." Scootaloo said.

"Maybe, let's just see how this plays out Joe said with a smile as he walked with his fillyfriend behind his best friend and "the filly he's just helping out" as he chuckled to himself...........

Author's Note

Equestria's drinking laws are like England's. You hit 18, you go nuts. Joe's nickname for Paul is Bender because he looks a bit like John Bender from "The Breakfast Club" In terms of his outfit.

My god, I'm becoming a worse cock tease than Rarity, and that's really saying something!