Apple Bloom and the Timberwolfby Metool BardChaptersBackstage AnticsScene iScene iiScene iiiAfter the ShowBackstage Antics"Ponies, ponies! It's time we got our acts together! We have half an hour until curtain, and I want everyone to be ready to have some fun by then! So let's move it!" Pinkie Pie was her usual exuberant self as she marched around backstage clapping her hooves. This was the premier performance of a pet project she and Discord had been working on called the Fourth Wall Theater Troupe. The concept was that Discord would find random stories, and Pinkie would reinterpret them for a pony audience. She was very excited to see how their first performance would turn out. "Alright, let's see here," said Pinkie, taking a look at her clipboard. "Discord?" In a flash of light, the Master of Chaos appeared before Pinkie's eyes. "Eeeeyesssss?" he asked. "What's the turnout like?" "We've got a full house tonight," said Discord pleasantly. "Those tickets were selling like hotcakes. Partially because they were hotcakes." "I knew my edible ticket idea would bring in the crowds," said Pinkie with a goofy grin. "Alright, now where's our animal wrangler?" "Here I am!" Fluttershy called out, running up to Pinkie with a hummingbird, a duck, and Opalessence in tow. "I'm so sorry that I'm late, but Rarity wanted Opal to look her best for her theater debut." Pinkie looked over at Opal, and indeed, she looked marvelous. It was almost as if she was going to a movie premier rather than actually performing in a play. "A bit too fancy for the role, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. This is Rarity we're talking about, after all," said Pinkie with a shrug. "Hmm, now where's Rainbow Dash? She has a pretty big part in our production." Fluttershy flattened her ears and hid her face behind her bangs. "Oh, um... Actually..." "Hmm? What is it?" inquired Pinkie. "I just came here from Rainbow Dash's house," said Fluttershy. "She says she has a sore throat." Pinkie shrugged again. "So she's a little hoarse. What's the big deal?" Discord summoned a drum set and played a rimshot. "Y-you misunderstand. She's really, really sick," said Fluttershy. "She says she won't be able to make it today." "WHAT?!" exclaimed Pinkie, getting into Fluttershy's face and pointing angrily at the clipboard with her hoof. "But she has only the second biggest part in the play! We can't do Apple Bloom and the Timberwolf without a timberwolf!" "I-I'm sorry," Fluttershy whimpered. "I-I didn't have anything to do with it. Please don't be mad at me." Pinkie sighed. "Sorry, Flutters. Got a bit carried away there," she said. "But still, this is not good. Not good at all. What are we gonna do?" Discord stroked his goatee with his eagle talon. "Actually, I think I may have an idea," said he. "You do? Oh, thank goodness," said Pinkie, breathing a sigh of relief. "Alright, what's your idea?" "Just this," said Discord with a snap of his fingers. Just then, a flurry of glowing green twigs appeared out of nowhere. The twigs began to connect together, taking the form of a familiar wooden golem. Once fully assembled, the creature snarled, bathing Pinkie and Fluttershy in its putrid breath. Pinkie wrinkled her nose while Fluttershy yelped and began shivering with fright. "U-um, Discord?" Fluttershy asked timidly. "I-is that an actual timberwolf?" "Well, I figured the play could use a bit more authenticity," said Discord with a shrug. Pinkie began stroking her chin with her hoof. "Hmm. Well, I'm not too keen on the idea, but with Rainbow Dash sick, we don't have many other options," she mused. "Uh, Pinkie? Please don't tell me you're actually considering this," Fluttershy whispered. "Okay, I won't tell you!" said Pinkie with a wide grin. She then went back to her contemplation before giving Discord a nod. "Alright, we'll work with it. But you have to Pinkie Promise me that you'll be able to keep it under control." Discord smiled, and summoned a cupcake. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," he said solemnly, reenacting the entire promise. As the cupcake disappeared into his eye, he blinked a few times and smacked his lips. "Mmm, red velvet." Pinkie giggled. "Alright, I'm holding you to that," she said. "Fluttershy, you get the animals ready for their parts." "O-okay," said Fluttershy, still worried about the timberwolf. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, and turned to the animals. "Alright, you three. Let's go over the script." She then led her critter friends and Opal off to one corner. As Pinkie saw them off, she felt a tap on her hind leg. Turning around, she saw the star of the show, Apple Bloom. "Oh, hey Apple Bloom!" she said cheerfully. "You excited?" "Um, kinda," said Apple Bloom meekly. "Actually, I'm a bit nervous. I never had a big role in a play like this before. What if I mess up, and everypony starts laughin' at me?" "Aw, don't worry about it," said Pinkie sweetly, giving Apple Bloom a pat on the back. "It doesn't matter how good we are, as long as we have fun and make everypony smile." "I suppose," said Apple Bloom, offering a weak smile of her own. "Also, I don't really get the script." "Hmm? What's wrong with the script?" asked Pinkie, tilting her head. "Well, there kinda isn't one," said Apple Bloom, looking over the script in her hooves. "I mean, I don't get any lines." "Well of course you don't, silly!" said Pinkie. "This isn't a speaking role." "But aren't I the main character?" "That doesn't automatically make it a speaking role," said Pinkie. "In fact, there are no other speaking roles besides the narrator." Apple Bloom blinked. "Huh? I'm confused." "It'll make sense once we get started," said Pinkie. "Just remember your cue, and you'll be alright." "Land sakes! What's a timberwolf doin' here?!" Pinkie and Apple Bloom looked up to see a horrified Granny Smith pointing at Discord's little pet. "Oh, that," said Pinkie sheepishly. "Well, we were going to just have a puppet, but Rainbow Dash is out with a sore throat. So, we're using a real one instead." "Ponyfeathers, child! Are you outta your cotton pickin' mind?!" Granny screeched. "Yeah, I actually get that a lot," said Pinkie. "Don't worry, Discord Pinkie Promised me that he'll keep it under control." "He'd better," Granny said with a snort. "But jus' in case, I'd better have some pots on standby. I've been dealin' with timberwolves since I was a filly, and those pots might be our only hope." "Pots. Got it," said Pinkie, making a note on the list in her clipboard. "I'll see if we have any spares in the prop bin." "Good," said Granny, looking over at Apple Bloom. "You alright, Apple Bloom?" "I-I'll be fine," said Apple Bloom, looking at the timberwolf. "I know you'll protect me, Granny. Them timberwolves are no match for you." "Darn tootin'!" said Granny with a wide grin. "Now, you need me to go over your lines with ya?" "Actually, Pinkie says I don't have any lines," said Apple Bloom. "But I do know my cue." "No lines?" asked Granny, taking out her reading glasses and looking over her own script. "Well, shut my mouth and call me an apple turnover. I don't have any lines, either. Pinkie, jus' what kinda play is this?" "Like I told Apple Bloom, it'll make sense once we get started," said Pinkie. "Just remember your cue." "Right, right. My cue," said Granny with a slow nod. Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "You, do remember your cue, don't you?" she asked Granny Smith. "Well, o'course I do!" said Granny. "It's uh... Eh... Um... What were we talkin' about again?" Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Don't you worry, Pinkie. I'll help Granny Smith remember her cue." "Thanks, Apple Bloom," said Pinkie with a smile. "You're a big help." Apple Bloom smiled back, and then sighed as she led Granny off to the side. "I sure hope the other girls are havin' better luck in the orchestra..." *** "Uh, are you sure this is the only instrument left?" Sweetie Belle said this as she looked up at a tall bassoon leaning against a metal chair. The conductor, Noteworthy, gave her a shrug. "I don't know what to tell you, Sweetie Belle," he said. "If you want to play in the orchestra, that's your only option." "But don't you have anything smaller?" Noteworthy raised an eyebrow. "That, kind of defeats the purpose of a bassoon. Nevertheless, I'll check backstage and see if there's a child-sized one for you." With that, he marched off towards the back while Sweetie looked over the large instrument. "Ah, don't worry 'bout it, Sweetie Belle," said Babs Seed, blowing back her combover as she cleaned her oboe. "Just think, this might be our big chance to get our Cutie Marks. That's why we're here in the first place, ain't it?" "W-well, yeah. But I feel like I'm kinda in over my head with this one," said Sweetie, arching her neck and swallowing. "Babs, do you wanna trade?" Babs gave Sweetie Belle a deadpan look. "You're kiddin', right? If you're gonna have trouble playin' that thing, why do you think I would be any betta?" Sweetie sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry," she said. She then looked over to Spike, who was practicing his flute. "Oh, hi Spike! I didn't know you were here." "Well, Pinkie said I'd be a natural on the flute. Don't know where she got that idea, but hey, it's Pinkie," said Spike with a shrug. "Yeah, I hear you," said Sweetie. "Hey, do you wanna trade instruments?" "Trade instruments?" Spike parroted, looking over at Sweetie. "Why do you want to trade instruments?" Sweetie pointed to the bassoon. "Ah," said Spike, giving a nod of comprehension. He then shrugged. "Well, sorry Sweetie Belle. I don't think I'd have much luck playing that thing, either. Unless I started hoarding again, but I don't think anypony wants that." "Oh," said Sweetie, flattening her ears and casting her eyes downward. "And what has you so troubled, little filly?" Sweetie looked up and saw a friendly-looking grey mare wearing a pink bow-tie. Her eyes sparkled. "Hey, aren't you Octavia, the famous cellist?" she said. "My sister listens to your band all the time. You're really good." "Well, thank you," said Octavia with a chuckle. "But, it's actually called an ensemble." "Huh. My sister keeps telling me the same thing, but I don't see the difference," said Sweetie, tilting her head. "You and Vinyl both," Octavia muttered under her breath. "What?" "Nothing," said Octavia. "Anyway, what seems to be the problem?" Sweetie Belle sighed. "Mr. Noteworthy says if I want to play in the orchestra, I have to play that thing," she said, pointing to the bassoon. "But it's too big for me." Octavia smiled warmly. "Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it," she said. "I had trouble getting used to my cello before I got my Cutie Mark." "Really?" Octavia paused, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "W-well, actually I had a foal-sized one growing up, so..." "Oh," said Sweetie, her expression drooping. "You were just trying to cheer me up, huh?" "Heh, guilty as charged," said Octavia, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Listen, I wish I could help, but..." "SORRY I'M LATE!" A loud, booming voice interrupted the conversation as a blue Earth Pony carrying a sousaphone galloped in. She stopped before Octavia, catching her breath. "I was wondering where you were, Beauty Brass," said Octavia. "Dare I ask what happened?" "I was *pant* supposed to *gasp* pick up Slick Licks *huff* for the show," said Beauty Brass between pants. "But he *puff* never showed up." "Slick Licks?" inquired Octavia, raising an eyebrow. "I thought he only played jazz." "Hey, a gig's a gig, kitten. Ms. Pie is payin' me a lot of bits for this little matinee." Making his way down the steps was a dusty red Earth Pony stallion wearing shades, a purple pinstripe suit, and wing-tip horseshoes. His Cutie Mark was that of a clarinet, which he also carried in a case on his back. Beauty Brass made a beeline to the stallion, not looking the least bit pleased. "YOU STOOD ME UP! THAT'S SO NOT COOL!" she shouted. "Excuse me?" said Slick Licks, lowering his shades. "Who stood who up, kitten? We were supposed to meet at the Canterlot train station." "We were?" said Beauty Brass with a blink. She then blushed. "Oh, sorry. I thought it was the Canterlot Gardens." "Hey, chillax," said Slick Licks with a smirk. "It's no skin off my nose. I'm here, ain't I? Now, let's get ourselves tuned up for this swinging party." He then took a seat next to Babs Seed, who couldn't help but stare in wonder. "Whoa," she said, her eyes sparkling. "Is that Slick Licks? As in the Slick Licks, the best jazz musician in Manehattan? That's so rad!" "He's really that good, huh?" said Scootaloo, making her way into the conversation. "Good? Try great!" said Babs. "You tellin' me you never heard of him before?" Scootaloo shrugged. "Sorry, Babs. I can't say that I have." Babs chuckled. "Filly, you don't know what you're missin'," she said. "Oh, Scootaloo!" said Sweetie Belle. "Do you wanna trade instruments?" "Huh?" said Scootaloo, raising an eyebrow. "Since when do you like drums, Sweetie Belle?" "Well, it's better than having to play this thing," said Sweetie, pointing to the bassoon. Scootaloo folded her forelegs. "Sweetie Belle, if you think I'm going to be able to play that, you're crazy." "Alright, everypony! Let's get ready! The curtain rises in ten minutes!" said Noteworthy, emerging from the back. All of the musicians took their spots. All, that is, except Sweetie Belle. "Um, Mr. Noteworthy?" she asked. "Did you find a...?" "Sorry, no," said Noteworthy, shaking his head. "You'll just have to make do, Sweetie Belle." "B-but..." "Oh, c'mon, Sweetie Belle," said Scootaloo. "You've gotten out of tough situations before, haven't you? If this is gonna lead to your Cutie Mark, you'll find a way." "Hmm. Maybe you're right," said Sweetie, striking a thinking attitude. She then noticed her sister coming down into the orchestra pit. "Oh, hello Sweetie Belle," Rarity said sweetly. "Pinkie said it was alright for me to come backstage and check up on you and Opal. How are things?" A mischievous grin spread on Sweetie's face. "A lot better, now that you showed up," she said. "Actually, I was wondering if you could do a favor for me..." Rarity felt a chill go up her spine. "I don't think I like where this is going," she said. *** "Um, Pinkie Pie?" "What is it now, Fluttershy?" "Mrs. Duckworth has a problem with the script." Pinkie raised an eyebrow, and took the script from Fluttershy's hooves. "Now, why would that be?" she mused, flipping through the pages. "She doesn't have any speaking lines, so there's nothing to object— doyewwwww!" Her eyes widened as she caught sight of a particular part of the script. "Yeeeeeeeeeah, I see your point," she said. "Discord, could you take a look at this?" Discord snatched up the script and summoned a broken pair of reading glasses. He looked over the script again and again before handing it back to Fluttershy. "I understand your concern, dear Fluttershy," he said with a gentle smile. "Don't you worry your pretty little head. Your fine feathered friend is in very capable hooves, as well as a very capable talon and a very capable paw. I Pinkie Promise." Fluttershy couldn't help but smile a bit. "Alright, I'll let her know," she said, turning back to the animals. "Oh, Opal! You shouldn't mess up your grooming like that! Rarity would have a fit!" As Fluttershy got the animals under control, Pinkie looked up at the clock. "Five minutes to magic time," she said, taking another look at her clipboard. "Hmm. Where are those hunters?" "I, actually don't think anypony applied for the role," said Discord. "Really? Well, that puts us in a bit of a pickle," said Pinkie. "Who can we get on such short notice?" "I'll handle that," said Discord. He then snapped his fingers, and summoned a sweet-smelling apple pie. After a few seconds, a curious noise was heard from above. "Pie!" All of a sudden, a streak of blue burst in from the ceiling and swiped the pie from Discord's paw. From the hole, two other pegasi flew in. Pinkie recognized them right away as the Wonderbolts. "Oh, what the hay, Soarin'?!" Spitfire yelled in exasperation as Soarin' gobbled up the pie. "Ugh, I knew we should've eaten before practice." "I'll try to remind you next time, Boss," said Rapidfire. "Oh, hey there!" said Pinkie. "Um, I was wondering if you three would be interested in being part of a play we're working on." "A play?" said Spitfire, raising an eyebrow. "I dunno, this is pretty short notice." "Oh, don't worry. There aren't any lines or anything," said Pinkie. "All you gotta do is fly around. And we'll be sure to pay you handsomely." Spitfire placed a hoof to her chin. "Hmm. Well, I don't think we had anything else planned today. What do you say, Rapidfire?" "Shouldn't be that different from any other show we put on," said Rapidfire with a shrug. "What about you, Soarin'?" Soarin' looked up from his pie. "Huh? Oh yeah, phure," he said with his mouth full. "Perfect!" said Pinkie. "Discord, give them the script." As Discord did so, Pinkie took a peek through the curtains. The place was packed with ponies, and she could hear the orchestra tuning up. She smirked. "Perfect-a-mundo," she said, turning back to the cast. "Okey-dokey-lokey, ponies! Everyone take your places! It's time we gave Canterlot a show they'll never forget!" There was a chorus of acknowledgment as everyone got into their positions. There was a round of applause, and the curtain began to rise. Pinkie's eyes narrowed, and a sly smile appeared on her face. "It's showtime." Scene iAs the curtain rose, Pinkie bowed a few times to the audience before raising her hooves to indicate that she wanted silence. A hush fell over the crowd. "Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the Canterlot Theater!" she said cheerfully. "Today, the Fourth Wall Theater Troupe proudly presents the story of Apple Bloom and the Timberwolf. It is a musical tale, where each character is represented by an instrument in the orchestra. In that sense, the musicians are just as much characters as, well, the characters are!" There was a general muttering of confusion and comprehension amongst the ponies. "Don't worry, it'll make much more sense when we get started," said Pinkie, taking out her own script. "And with that in mind, sit back and enjoy this story, symphony, thingie. *ahem* On with the show!" Scene i "We start our story early one morning in a meadow just outside Sweet Apple Acres, where young Apple Bloom has decided to go out and play." On cue, Octavia played her cello beautifully, and little Apple Bloom tentatively stepped out onstage. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Apple Bloom frolicked through the meadow. Letting herself get lost in the music, she felt her stage fright melt away, and a big grin appeared on her face. When Octavia stopped, she lay down on the grass and breathed a great sigh. "Told ya it'd be okay," Pinkie muttered to herself before turning back to her script. "Just then, Hummingway the hummingbird flew in to pay Apple Bloom a visit. He flittered this way, and he flittered that way. 'All is quiet! All is queit!' he chirped gaily." Pinkie heard some snickers in the audience and placed her hooves on her hips. "Not that kind of gaily," she growled. "Seriously, get your heads out of the gutter." As she scolded the rude audience members, Hummingway continued to fly around Apple Bloom, chirping along with Spike's flute. Apple Bloom couldn't help but smile, but in the back of her mind, she thought that all was not so quiet anymore. "Ugh, some ponies are so immature," Pinkie groaned, rolling her eyes. "Anywho, where was I? Oh yes! Hummingway wasn't the only fine feathered fellow who wanted to visit Sweet Apple Acres this fine day. For swimming in the pond was none other than Mrs. Duckworth, who, surprise of surprises, was a duck." Although Babs Seed managed to get her cue right, Mrs. Duckworth was still nervous about going out on stage. With some gentle prodding from Fluttershy, she finally relented halfway into the piece, swimming up to Apple Bloom and Hummingway and giving a friendly quack hello. "Hummingway flittered over to Mrs. Duckworth, looked over the larger bird, and shrugged his shoulders. How he did this mid-flight is anyone's guess, but whatever. Anyway, he had an interesting conundrum on his mind. "'Now, what kind of bird are you if you can't fly?' he asked Mrs. Duckworth, to which Mrs. Duckworth replied; 'As a matter of fact, I can fly. I think the better question is what kind of bird are you if you can't swim?' And with that, she dove into the pond." Mrs. Duckworth carried out the action in Pinkie's narration, splashing both Apple Bloom and Hummingway. Apple Bloom sputtered, while Hummingway began tweeting and twittering angrily. "The two birds began to argue; Mrs. Duckworth in the pond, Hummingway hovering over the shore. "'Birds aren't supposed to swim!' Hummingway tweeted. "'Well, I'm insulted by your accusation that I can't fly!' Mrs. Duckworth quacked." Apple Bloom was getting confused. Was this really what birds argued about? Or was this just Pinkie being Pinkie? Before she could contemplate further, she noticed a tuft of white fur poking out from behind the background scenery. "As the birds quarreled, something caught Apple Bloom's attention," said Pinkie, as if predicting this development. "She noticed Rarity's cat, Opalessence, crawling through the grass." Sure enough, Opal snuck through the grass as Slick Licks laid down his tunes. She looked over the scenery and eyed Hummingway with interest. "'Ah-ha!' Opal thought. 'That bird is too busy arguing with the duck to notice me. Looks like I just found myself a little snack.' And so, ever so slowly, she crept up on Hummingway, waiting for a chance to get him in between her paws." Opal's tail swished in time with Slick Lick's clarinet, and she kept a careful eye on Hummingway's every move. Just before she could strike, however... "'Look out!' shouted Apple Bloom. And with that warning, Hummingway flew right into a tree!" Both Apple Bloom and Opal were caught off guard by Pinkie's sudden narration, while Hummingway got away as quickly as possible. While they both tried to process this, Mrs. Duckworth began quacking at Opal. "Mrs. Duckworth was none too pleased that Hummingway flew off before they could finish their debate," said Pinkie. "She quacked angrily at Opal from the safety of the middle of the pond." Opal hissed back at Mrs. Duckworth, but when it proved futile, she made her way over to the tree where Hummingway was resting. "Opal looked up into the tree and pondered, 'Hmm. Is it really worth it for me to climb up? By the time I get there, the bird will have flown away.' And of course, she was right. I gotta say, Rarity, you have a pretty smart kitty." Opal purred at the compliment, while Apple Bloom simply tilted her head. "Just then, Granny Smith came storming into the meadow, looking rather cross." Unlike last time, there was no music from the orchestra pit. Pinkie raised an eyebrow and tapped her foot. "I said, Granny Smith came storming into the meadow, looking rather cross," she repeated. Noteworthy looked into the orchestra pit, and he had to smack his forehead with his hoof when he saw the problem. "Oof! I don't know how you talked me into this," Rarity growled, sitting down while Sweetie Belle climbed onto her shoulders. "Rarity, Mr. Noteworthy said that if I want to play in the band, I have to play the bassoon," Sweetie Belle grunted, struggling to get her footing. "And this is the only way I can play it. Don't you want me to get my Cutie Mark?" "Sweetie, darling. You can't get your Cutie Mark if I *ow* help you," Rarity said. Sweetie didn't really have a comeback for that. "Um, well... Maybe it'll give me inspiration to practice it on my own!" Rarity groaned. "Sweetie, has the thought that I don't even know how to play the bassoon crossed your mind?" "You just have to press the keys and stuff," said Sweetie. "How bad can it be?" Noteworthy rapped the music stand with his baton. "Are we interrupting anything, ladies?" he asked. Both of the unicorn sisters turned bright red. "Um, terribly sorry," said Rarity. "W-we're just getting this sorted out." Discord appeared out of nowhere and sighed. "Alright, I think you two have been embarrassed enough," he said with a snap of his fingers. Rarity's horn then began to glow, and each of the proper holes were pressed. "I just taught you a bassoon-playing spell. You're welcome," said Discord before giving Noteworthy a nod. "Anytime you're ready, maestro." Everypony decided that it was better not to question it. Noteworthy raised his baton, and Sweetie Belle leaned forward towards the bassoon's reed. "Sorry about that, everypony," said Pinkie, clearing her throat. "Now then, third time's the charm. Just then, Granny Smith came storming into the meadow, looking rather cross." Unlike Sweetie Belle and Rarity, Granny Smith came in on cue, marching right up to Apple Bloom at her usual slow pace. "'Apple Bloom, doncha know it's Zap Apple season?' she scolded the young filly. 'The timberwolves are gettin' restless. If one o'them critters were to wander out of the Everfree Forest and into this here meadow, what would ya do then, eh?'" It took a bit for Granny Smith to catch on, but once she did, she successfully pantomimed Pinkie's narration. Apple Bloom was genuinely frightened by her demeanor. "But little Apple Bloom didn't listen to her grandmother. 'C'mon, Granny!' said she. 'Ah ain't afraid of no timberwolf! Ah might even get mah Cutie Mark in timberwolf wranglin'!' You see, fillies her age simply weren't afraid of anything. Or at least, they acted like that." Discord snapped his fingers once again, and Apple Bloom found herself holding a hoof puppet of a timberwolf. With a shrug, she started teasing Granny Smith with it, showing that she wasn't scared. Granny simply gave Apple Bloom a stern look and folded her forelegs. Noticing her grandmother's mood, Apple Bloom's expression drooped and she sighed. "But alas, cooler heads prevailed. Granny Smith took Apple Bloom by the foreleg and led her home." Granny did just as Pinkie narrated, leading Apple Bloom offstage as Rarity and Sweetie Belle played them out. End of Scene i Author's Note For Opal's musical accompaniment, turn up the volume. It's a bit quiet. Also, I know there should be more musical accompaniment, but this was all I could find. And honestly, I'm glad I was this lucky. Scene iiScene ii After Apple Bloom and Granny Smith had left, the lighting on the stage became darker, giving Pinkie an intimidating presence. She looked like she was ready to tell a scary story. "No sooner had Apple Bloom had gone, a great, fierce timberwolf emerged from the Everfree Forest." As Beauty Brass played her sousaphone, the timberwolf made its way onto the stage. It let out several deep-throated snarls; its noxious breath causing ponies to cringe in disgust. "Yeesh, that's one smelly timberwolf," said Pinkie, wrinkling her nose. "Discord, can we do something about this? I'm betting it's gonna drive our audience away." "On it," said Discord with a snap of his fingers. With that, the ventilation system kicked in, clearing out most of the putrid fumes. "Thank you," said Pinkie, turning back to her script. "Now then, this timberwolf was particularly nasty. As everypony knows, timberwolves typically hunt in packs. But this one was kicked out of the pack for reasons unknown. As such, it was not in a particularly good mood." Discord snapped his fingers again, and the timberwolf became agitated. It let out a powerful roar that echoed throughout the theater. "So, because it was in such a bad mood, it decided to take it out on whatever it happened to bump into. Any animal that saw it knew to steer clear." The timberwolf continued to prowl around the stage, roaring and snarling. It then noticed Opal and arched its back; its green eyes narrowing. "When Opal saw the timberwolf, she quickly climbed up the tree, further proving what a smart kitty she is." Opal didn't need to be told twice. As Slick Licks laid out some slick tunes, she let out a frightened meow and dashed up the tree as quick as a wink. "Mrs. Duckworth, however, was too frightened to think," said Pinkie. "She quacked, and in her foolishness, jumped out of the pond!" However, Mrs. Duckworth did nothing of the sort. She ducked her head under the water, shivering with fright. Pinkie placed her hooves on her hips and began tapping her foot again. "I said, Mrs. Duckworth jumped out of the pond!" she repeated. "Um, I'm sorry, Pinkie Pie," said Fluttershy, emerging from backstage. "Mrs. Duckworth still doesn't like the script." Pinkie sighed. "Flutters, Discord and I both Pinkie Promise that she'll be alright. Don't you trust us?" "Well, I do," said Fluttershy. "But Mrs. Duckworth doesn't trust Discord." "Oh, what a shock!" yelled a heckler from the audience. "I'm betting that timberwolf's real, and Discord brought it in to attack us!" "Ah ha ha ha ha ha," Discord said dryly. "Pinkie, I think this joker should play the part of the duck." "Uh, yeah. A bit too harsh there, Discord," said Pinkie. "Though you're right about one thing, that heckler's pretty rude. We should get him out of here." "Agreed," said Discord. "And I know the perfect way to do so." He then snapped his fingers. In a flash of light, a stallion was found stuffed into Beauty Brass's sousaphone. "HEY!" Beauty Brass boomed, annoyed by this turn of events. "Nothing to worry about. We're just getting rid of a heckler," said Discord. "Maestro?" Noteworthy shrugged and continued conducting. Taking a deep breath, Beauty Brass blew into her sousaphone, and to her shock sent the heckler flying out the door. "Don't worry, he's fine!" Discord reassured the audience. "He just had to take part in some physical humor. You know how it is." Pinkie giggled. "I hate to admit it, but that was kinda funny," she said, turning back to Fluttershy. "Now, can you please convince Mrs. Duckworth that she'll be alright? We need to get back to the show." "O-okay," said Fluttershy. She talked to Mrs. Duckworth for a while before heaving a great sigh. "I'm sorry, Pinkie. She's not budging." "Oh, for goodness's sake," Discord groaned. He then snapped his fingers, and Mrs. Duckworth was propelled out of the pond and found herself face-to-face with the timberwolf. "Thank you, Discord," said Pinkie, turning back to the script. "Anyway, the timberwolf began to chase Mrs. Duckworth all over the meadow!" Just as Pinkie narrated, Mrs. Duckworth ran all over the stage; the Timberwolf at her heels. "But no matter how fast she ran, she couldn't escape! The timberwolf was getting nearer, and nearer, and nearer! It was catching up with her!" The chase continued for a while, until the timberwolf had Mrs. Duckworth cornered against a tree. "And finally, it caught her, and with one snap of its jaws, ate her." The timberwolf snapped its jaws, and Mrs. Duckworth disappeared in a puff of feathers. The audience gasped in horror. Discord smiled. "Time to uphold my Pinkie Promise," he said to himself, snapping his fingers. As Babs played a sorrowful tune on her oboe, a wooden cage marked 'Timberwolf's Stomach' descended from above. Inside the cage was none other than Mrs. Duckworth, looking surprised and confused as she paced the cage. Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief. "At least she's okay for real," she whispered, a ghost of a smile crossing her face. The cage then disappeared into the rafters, and Pinkie continued. "Now, this is how things stood," said Pinkie. "Opal was sitting on one brach of the tree, and Hummingway was sitting on the other. Of course, he wasn't sitting too close to Opal." Opal eyed Hummingway as he hopped along the branch opposite her. He was starting to get on her nerves, but because of the timberwolf, she restrained herself. "All the while, the timberwolf paced around and around the tree with hungry eyes," said Pinkie. "For although it was made out of wood, it still couldn't climb up trees. You ponies at home figure that one out." The timberwolf did as Pinkie narrated, snarling and growling all the while. "'Oh, who will save us?' Opal wailed. 'Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE, WORST, POSSIBLE, THING!'" There was a clearing of the throat from the orchestra pit as Rarity shot Pinkie a dirty look. Pinkie gave her a sheepish grin and continued. "Little did Opal know that her savior was watching everything that was going on from the safety of her home." The set changed to a reproduction of Apple Bloom's room, where she was looking out a window. "'Aw, that poor ducky! And the poor birdie and kitty, too,' Apple Bloom said to herself. 'Ah gotta do somethin' to help them!'" Apple Bloom gave Pinkie a look. "C'mon, Pinkie. I don't sound like that," she said. "Shh! This isn't a speaking role!" Pinkie hissed. "Well, at least have me talk correctly!" Apple Bloom whispered back. Pinkie sighed. "Look, just wait until Granny Smith falls asleep, steal your sister's rope, and go save the day, will you?" Apple Bloom gave a sigh of her own. "Fine," she said reluctantly. "But I'd better turn out alright." "Hey, you saw what happened to Mrs. Duckworth," Pinkie whispered with a reassuring pat on the back. "Everything will be just fine." Apple Bloom nodded and smiled as she went backstage. When she was gone, Pinkie gulped. I hope, she added mentally. End of Scene ii Scene iiiScene iii "Alright, where was I?" said Pinkie, turning back to her script. "Ah, yes! Apple Bloom felt it was her duty to save her animal friends. So, when Granny Smith was asleep, she snuck out of the house, taking her sister's rope with her." The scenery then shifted back to the meadow, where Apple Bloom walked in on tiptoe with a rope hanging over her shoulder. She swallowed as she saw the timberwolf pacing around the tree where Hummingway and Opal sat. "Once she got to the meadow, Apple Bloom noticed that the tree where the timberwolf was pacing had a long, thick branch leading towards the ground. 'Gee, how dramatically convenient,' she whispered to herself. But, not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, she climbed up the branch stealthy, managing not to catch the timberwolf's attention." Apple Bloom was a bit confused by Pinkie's narration, but did as she was told. Despite the fact that the timberwolf could clearly see what she was doing, it mysteriously paid her no mind. Soon enough, she found herself up in the tree right next to Hummingway. "When she was safely in the tree, she whispered to Hummingway, 'Psst, Hummingway. Think y'all can do me a favor? Fly down and distract the timberwolf for a bit, but make sure it doesn't catch you.' "'And what'll you be doing?' asked Hummingway. "'Just trust me. Ah've got a plan,' said Apple Bloom." And now I can talk to birds, apparently, Apple Bloom thought. This is a weird play. Then again, Pinkie did direct this, so why should I have expected anythin' different? Hummingway shrugged, and flew over to the timberwolf. It flittered right into its face, causing the timberwolf to become annoyed. "'Hello, Timberwolf! I'm a distraction!' Hummingway chirped as it brushed the timberwolf's snout with its wings. The timberwolf would've questioned this comment had it not been so thoroughly agitated with the hummingbird." The timberwolf snapped angrily at Hummingway, only to miss each and every time. Hummingway continued to pester the wooden creature, pecking at its head and buzzing it with his wings. "Oh, how Hummingway did worry the timberwolf! It wanted nothing else than to get rid of that little pest. But Hummingway was clever, and there was nothing the timberwolf could do about it." Hummingway zipped around the timberwolf's head, and the timberwolf continued to try and catch him. The routine continued until Pinkie noticed that Hummingway was getting cocky. "Look out, please, for overconfidence," she warned. Before Hummingway could inquire as to what she meant, he bumped his head against the timberwolf's snout and fell to the ground. The timberwolf looked down at the bird with hungry eyes. "Told ya," said Pinkie, turning back to her script. "Anyway, while this was going on, Apple Bloom made a lasso with the rope, and quietly swung it over her head. She only had one shot at this, and she had to make it count." Apple Bloom did as Pinkie narrated, trying her best to emulate her sister. The lasso wobbled as she spun it around and around, and beads of sweat formed on her face. "Once she found her opening, she snagged the timberwolf's tail, and pulled with all her MIGHT!" Pinkie's exclamation startled the timberwolf, and it snarled. It was about to charge for her when Apple Bloom tossed her lariat and successfully snagged the timberwolf's tail. Just as Pinkie narrated, she pulled and pulled, somehow being a match for the timberwolf in this game of tug-o-war. "The timberwolf howled and barked angrily as Apple Bloom continued to pull on the rope. No matter how much the timberwolf struggled, there was no escape!" Apple Bloom held the lasso in her mouth and pulled like there was no tomorrow. She yanked the rope so hard that she lost her footing, and fell out of the tree. However, in a feat of strength that shocked even her, she pulled the timberwolf off the ground! The timberwolf snarled and tried to snap at Apple Bloom with its jaws. She managed to dodge just in the nick of time. "As Apple Bloom swung from the tree, the timberwolf charged at her again and again!" The timberwolf swung back on the rope, pawing the ground and opening its mouth. It leapt for Apple Bloom, and missed her by a hair. Not to be deterred, it tried again, only to get the same result. "Unbeknownst to the timberwolf, each attempt to hurt little Apple Bloom made the rope wind around the tree. As it grew more and more determined, the rope got tighter and tighter." This was indeed the case. With one final charge, the timberwolf propelled itself into the tree, taking Apple Bloom with it. As it got its bearings, it snarled at poor Apple Bloom, who tried her best to back away from the great beast. "Just as things were looking blackest..." Pinkie paused for dramatic effect and put a hoof to her ear. "Hark! What's that we hear? And what's this we see?" On cue, there was a flurry of wings as the Wonderbolts flew in overhead. "Why, it's the Wonderbolts! Spitfire, Rapidfire, and Soarin'! That's Soarin' in the middle, by the way. It appears that they were practicing a new routine over Ponyville." As she said that, the musical part of the accompaniment ended, and a twinkle could be seen in Scootaloo's eye. She pounded the timpani with a mighty vigor, and the Wonderbolts launched into a beautiful sky show, flying off in every direction. When the music resumed, they returned to formation with ease. "Ya yump bah dump pah yump ba dump pah..." Soarin' hummed along with the music. "Glad to see you're enjoying yourself," Spitfire whispered to her wingpony. "But seriously, could you put a lid on it? This show is very last minute, and we need to concentrate. We can't afford any distrac—" Opal meowed, and Scootaloo pounded the timpani once again. The Wonderbolts flew off every which way, appearing to be startled. Once they had settled, Scootaloo had not. She continued her little drum solo despite everypony staring at her. When she did notice, her tempo slowed until she concluded her piece with one last boom and chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry. Got a little carried away," she said, nervously rubbing the back of her head. "Right," said Pinkie, clearing her throat and turning back to the script. "'It's alright, it's alright!' Apple Bloom called out. 'Ah managed to catch the timberwolf, somehow. Everyone is safe and sound.'" Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow and looked over at the timberwolf. She had to do a double take as she saw that it had gotten tangled up in the rope and was now tied firmly to the tree. "'Well, that's something,' said Spitfire, not sure what to make of this. 'What should we do now?' "'How 'bout a parade through Ponyville?' suggested Apple Bloom. "Ah want everypony to see how brave and cool Ah was.'" Apple Bloom's face began to match her bow, but she said not a word. "'Sounds like a great idea!' said Rapidfire. 'Let's go!'" Discord then snapped his fingers, and the set changed in an instant to a recreation of Ponyville. "Now, picture if you will, the great procession that followed. First, there was Apple Bloom herself." Apple Bloom trotted out on stage, waving happily to the audience. "Followed in turn by the Wonderbolts, and the timberwolf trapped a cage." The Wonderbolts marched out, with Soarin' pulling the trolly that held the timberwolf in a cage made of bamboo. The timberwolf growled and snarled, but seemed relatively tame. "Then, Hummingway flew in, happily singing." Hummingway flittered about, teasing the timberwolf once again. The timberwolf had no strength to fight, and merely grumbled and growled. "Bringing up the rear were Granny Smith and Opal. Granny told Opal, 'Y'know, if Apple Bloom didn't have that there rope and find that there branch to climb up, what do you think would've happened then? Ah, fillies today. They think they know everything.'" Granny walked in at her usual slow pace, pantomiming her rant to Opal. Opal wasn't the least bit interested, and merely lounged about on Granny's back. "And, if you listen very closely, you can here Mrs. Duckworth quacking away. For in its hurry, and with a particular lack of tact, the timberwolf had eaten her alive. How's that possible with a timberwolf? Folks, I'm just as clueless as you all are." Once again, the cage above lowered down, and showed Mrs. Duckworth laying about and enjoying some bread crumbs. When she noticed that she was on, she quacked nervously. "And out of curiosity, Apple Bloom checked her flank. Alas, it was still bare." "Oh, c'mon!" Apple Bloom cried, noticing that what Pinkie said was true. "After all that?!" Pinkie chuckled. "Don't worry, Apple Bloom. There's always next time!" The cast then shared a bit of a laugh as the orchestra concluded the piece. There was a round of applause, and the curtain closed. End of Scene iii The applause continued as the curtain was raised again for the curtain call. The first ones out were Pinkie and Discord, who both took a bow. "Thank you, thank you!" Pinkie cheered. "Indeed, you are too kind," said Discord with a suave smile. "But really, this wouldn't have been possible without our wonderful performers and musicians. So everypony, come on up!" He snapped his fingers, and Noteworthy found himself onstage. Perplexed at first, he soon relaxed and took a bow. The next ones out were Apple Bloom and Octavia. Apple Bloom beamed with delight, while Octavia simply smiled modestly. After them, it was Hummingway and Spike. Hummingway chirped happily while Spike snickered and shook his head. "Pinkie will always be Pinkie, I suppose," he muttered to himself as he took a bow. Then, Mrs. Duckworth and Babs Seed came out onstage. Babs looked over at her flank, and frowned in disappointment when she found no Cutie Mark. "I didn't do that bad, did I?" she asked Mrs. Duckworth. Mrs. Duckworth shrugged and bowed, and Babs simply did the same, although she felt a tad embarrassed. Following them were Opalessence and Slick Licks. Opal purred in contentment while Slick Licks merely pointed his hoof and winked. After that, Granny Smith, Sweetie Belle, and Rarity took the spotlight. Granny seemed pleased while the unicorn sisters still weren't all that happy. "You owe me big time," Rarity whispered to her sister. "I know, I know," Sweetie whispered back. "I didn't even get my Cutie Mark, anyway." Then, it was the timberwolf and Beauty Brass's turn. Beauty Brass couldn't help but stare at the timberwolf in a mixture of confusion and fear as it took a bow alongside her. The last ones were Scootaloo alongside the Wonderbolts. As the Wonderbolts waved to the crowed, Scootaloo couldn't contain herself. I'm standing with the Wonderbolts, I'm standing with the Wonderbolts, I'm standing with the Wonderbolts! she thought. She found that she couldn't say anything, except for repeating "Omigosh omigosh omigosh!" over and over again. Spitfire had to chuckle. All of the performers then came together and ended with a final bow. The curtain closed one last time. The End (of the play) Author's Note As the last caption signifies, this is not the end of our story. Not quite. What's to come? Well, I think you can guess, seeing how we opened this little tale. After the Show"Well, that was fun!" said Pinkie with a huge grin. "Did everypony have a good time?" "I guess," said Apple Bloom with a sigh. Pinkie tilted her head. "Hey. Why so glum, chum?" she asked. "It's not fair," said Apple Bloom sadly. "I risk mah life tryin' to wrangle a timberwolf, and I don't even get my Cutie Mark." "Well, to be fair, this was a semi-tame timberwolf," said Discord. "It didn't technically count." "Besides, we're all proud of ya, Cutie Mark or no Cutie Mark," Babs Seed added. "You were awesome, Cuz!" Apple Bloom blushed. "Aw, c'mon. I wasn't that great." "My hoof you weren't!" said Granny Smith, patting Apple Bloom on the head. "You showed them ponies a good time, and you managed to hold your own against a timberwolf. What's not to be proud of?" "She's right, y'know." Apple Bloom perked up, and she turned to see Applejack and Big Macintosh walk in. "Hey, AJ! Hey, Big Mac!" said Pinkie. "How'd you like the show?" "It was pretty neat, Pink," said Applejack with a smile. "And we both thought Apple Bloom was amazin'. Didn't we, Big Mac?" "Eeyup," said Big Mac with a nod. Apple Bloom grinned from ear to ear. "Thanks, y'all. Now that I think about it, I actually had a lot of fun." "Well, that was the idea," said Pinkie with a wide grin of her own. "It didn't really matter how good we were, as long as we all had fun and made everypony smile." "While I have to agree that this was quite enjoyable, I don't think the theater critics are going to have the same mindset," said Octavia. "I have the feeling that most of them are going to think this was very unprofessional and sloppy, what with the missed cues and constant interruptions." "I felt that was part of the fun," said Discord with a shrug. "Honestly, if the critics bash this show, they have no idea what good entertainment is." "I like the way this guy thinks." Octavia turned and saw her roommate Vinyl Scratch walk in. "I didn't think this was your type of music, Vinyl," said Octavia with a playful smirk. "Oh, don't be like that, Tavi," said Vinyl with a laugh. "Am I not allowed to check out one of your performances every once in a while? By the way, you rocked. So did the rest of the band." Octavia sighed. "It's not a band, Vinyl. It's an orchestra." "I thought you said it was an ensemble." "That's diff—! Ugh, why do I even bother?" Vinyl burst out laughing at Octavia's frustration. Slick Licks looked on in confusion. "Do those two always act like that?" he asked Beauty Brass. "More than you know," said Beauty Brass. "It's, pretty complicated from what I hear." "Huh," said Slick Licks with a shrug. "Boy, those two sure are a couple of crazy cats." As if part of an obvious segue, Opal walked in and began brushing herself against Slick Licks's legs. Rarity and Sweetie Belle trotted over. "It appears Opal enjoyed your music, Mr. Licks," said Rarity. "Heh. Looks like it," said Slick Licks. "You two weren't half bad yourselves, once you got your acts together." Sweetie Belle flattened her ears and sighed. "That was my fault. I wanted to play in the orchestra so I could get my Cutie Mark, but that big ole bassoon was the only instrument left." Rarity gave her sister a warm smile and placed a foreleg around her. "I wouldn't fret over it, darling. At least we enjoyed ourselves." Sweetie Belle looked up, and gave a smile of her own. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Rarity chuckled, and then became serious in an instant. "You still owe me, though." Sweetie giggled. "I know," she said, giving her older sister a hug. All of the tender scenes were interrupted by a snarl from the timberwolf. "Whoops! I knew I was forgetting something," said Discord with a snap of his fingers. And just like that, the timberwolf disassembled itself and flew back to the Everfree Forest from which it came. Pinkie stared a Discord blankly. "Huh. I didn't see that one coming," she said. "I thought we'd have a wacky scene where it went out of control, and Granny Smith had to use the pots." Discord snickered. "While that would've been hilarious, I know that nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise. At least, nopony that knows what's good for them." He then winked at Applejack, whose face started to turn a bit red. "I'd appreciate it if I wasn't reminded of that," she said, hiding her face with her hat. "I don't even know how you knew 'bout that. You weren't there." "Master of Chaos, remember? It makes sense for me not to make sense," said Discord. Applejack had to chuckle. "I suppose I can't argue with that logic," said she. "Oh, Discord!" said Fluttershy, flying in with Hummingway and Mrs. Duckworth. "Mrs. Duckworth says she wants to apologize for doubting you." "It's alright, my dear," said Discord with a sweet smile. "I know I'm not the most trustworthy fellow around. But like I said, one doesn't simply break a Pinkie Promise." "Darn right," said Pinkie. "So, Fluttershy! How'd you like the play?" "It was nice, despite some of the hiccups," said Fluttershy. "Hummingway had a great time, and so did Mrs. Duckworth." "I gotta admit, we had fun, too," Spitfire chimed in. "I'm actually surprised you managed to work us in at the last minute." "Actually, that was just improvisation," said Pinkie with a goofy grin. The Wonderbolts stared blankly at Pinkie. "I don't think we're supposed to think too much about it, Boss," said Rapidfire. Spitfire was about to comment when she felt a gentle prodding against her side. She turned to see Scootaloo, who had a big smile plastered on her face. "Oh, hey there," said Spitfire. "What's up?" "I-I just wanna say how a-awesome it was to be s-s-standing with you, and, uh... CouldIhaveyourautograph?!" Spitfire stifled a giggle. "Well, of course you can. Does anypony have a pen?" Discord snapped his fingers, and a quill and some parchment appeared right before Spitfire's eyes. "Thanks," she said. "S'aright," said Discord with a bow. Spitfire sniggered a bit and took the quill in hoof. "Now, who am I making this out to?" "Scootaloo," the orange filly blurted out. "Oh, and could you also add 'Get Well Soon, Rainbow Dash' to it? She's feeling kinda sick right now, and it'd mean a lot to her." "It'd be my pleasure," said Spitfire warmly. She made out the autograph and gave it to Scootaloo. "Thanks a bunch, Ms. Spitfire!" said Scootaloo joyfully. "Oh man! I don't even care that I didn't get my Cutie Mark! This play was awesome!" Spike smirked as he watched all of the antics in silence. He then turned to Noteworthy. "Well, that was a pretty crazy performance." "Yeah, but it was the good kind of crazy," said Noteworthy. "Even if the critics are left scratching their heads, I think they'll probably get a chuckle or two during this production." "It wouldn't be a Pinkie Pie play if there wasn't," said Spike with a snicker of his own. "Alright, everypony! Listen up!" Pinkie announced, clapping her hooves to get everyone's attention. "We're having a wrap party at Sugarcube Corner for all who are interested! There will be lots of cakes and pies for everyone!" "Did somepony say pie?! Oh man, count me in!" said Soarin'. There was a shared laugh as everyone made their way to the Canterlot train station, humming snippets from the performance all the way. "Well, I'd say this was a rousing success, Discord," said Pinkie, walking alongside the draconequus. "Everypony had a good time..." "Yeah, if being shot out of a sousaphone counts as a good— *mmph*" The heckler from before came up to complain, but Discord silenced him by zipping his mouth shut. Pinkie cleared her throat. "Well, almost everypony had a good time," she clarified. "And we all had lots and lots of fun putting it together. So, what's next?" "Oh, I have some ideas running around," said Discord. "Might take some time to actually put them together, and we might want to rework the introduction a bit, but it'll be just as fun as this was." Pinkie smiled. "Discord, I believe that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." "Agreed," said Discord. "Almost makes me wonder why you didn't give me a chance when Celestia first decreed that I should be reformed." "Are you really going to bring that up now?" "I'm just saying that you of all ponies should've been the most comfortable with chaos." "Well, I am, but you summoned that yummy chocolate rain without a dollop of whipped cream to go with it." "I promise, the next time I do that, I'll remember. Is that really the only reason you didn't trust me?" "Kinda." "That doesn't make sense. I like that..." The End (of the story) Author's Note Will the Fourth Wall Theater Troupe return? Well, maybe. Like Discord said, I have one or two ideas running around, but I have to consider how to present them. It would be pretty confusing if each production had more or less the same synopsis. I will say this, though. If anyone else is interested in making a Fourth Wall Theater Troupe story, they're welcome to it. Just, be sure to credit me for the concept.
Backstage Antics"Ponies, ponies! It's time we got our acts together! We have half an hour until curtain, and I want everyone to be ready to have some fun by then! So let's move it!" Pinkie Pie was her usual exuberant self as she marched around backstage clapping her hooves. This was the premier performance of a pet project she and Discord had been working on called the Fourth Wall Theater Troupe. The concept was that Discord would find random stories, and Pinkie would reinterpret them for a pony audience. She was very excited to see how their first performance would turn out. "Alright, let's see here," said Pinkie, taking a look at her clipboard. "Discord?" In a flash of light, the Master of Chaos appeared before Pinkie's eyes. "Eeeeyesssss?" he asked. "What's the turnout like?" "We've got a full house tonight," said Discord pleasantly. "Those tickets were selling like hotcakes. Partially because they were hotcakes." "I knew my edible ticket idea would bring in the crowds," said Pinkie with a goofy grin. "Alright, now where's our animal wrangler?" "Here I am!" Fluttershy called out, running up to Pinkie with a hummingbird, a duck, and Opalessence in tow. "I'm so sorry that I'm late, but Rarity wanted Opal to look her best for her theater debut." Pinkie looked over at Opal, and indeed, she looked marvelous. It was almost as if she was going to a movie premier rather than actually performing in a play. "A bit too fancy for the role, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. This is Rarity we're talking about, after all," said Pinkie with a shrug. "Hmm, now where's Rainbow Dash? She has a pretty big part in our production." Fluttershy flattened her ears and hid her face behind her bangs. "Oh, um... Actually..." "Hmm? What is it?" inquired Pinkie. "I just came here from Rainbow Dash's house," said Fluttershy. "She says she has a sore throat." Pinkie shrugged again. "So she's a little hoarse. What's the big deal?" Discord summoned a drum set and played a rimshot. "Y-you misunderstand. She's really, really sick," said Fluttershy. "She says she won't be able to make it today." "WHAT?!" exclaimed Pinkie, getting into Fluttershy's face and pointing angrily at the clipboard with her hoof. "But she has only the second biggest part in the play! We can't do Apple Bloom and the Timberwolf without a timberwolf!" "I-I'm sorry," Fluttershy whimpered. "I-I didn't have anything to do with it. Please don't be mad at me." Pinkie sighed. "Sorry, Flutters. Got a bit carried away there," she said. "But still, this is not good. Not good at all. What are we gonna do?" Discord stroked his goatee with his eagle talon. "Actually, I think I may have an idea," said he. "You do? Oh, thank goodness," said Pinkie, breathing a sigh of relief. "Alright, what's your idea?" "Just this," said Discord with a snap of his fingers. Just then, a flurry of glowing green twigs appeared out of nowhere. The twigs began to connect together, taking the form of a familiar wooden golem. Once fully assembled, the creature snarled, bathing Pinkie and Fluttershy in its putrid breath. Pinkie wrinkled her nose while Fluttershy yelped and began shivering with fright. "U-um, Discord?" Fluttershy asked timidly. "I-is that an actual timberwolf?" "Well, I figured the play could use a bit more authenticity," said Discord with a shrug. Pinkie began stroking her chin with her hoof. "Hmm. Well, I'm not too keen on the idea, but with Rainbow Dash sick, we don't have many other options," she mused. "Uh, Pinkie? Please don't tell me you're actually considering this," Fluttershy whispered. "Okay, I won't tell you!" said Pinkie with a wide grin. She then went back to her contemplation before giving Discord a nod. "Alright, we'll work with it. But you have to Pinkie Promise me that you'll be able to keep it under control." Discord smiled, and summoned a cupcake. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," he said solemnly, reenacting the entire promise. As the cupcake disappeared into his eye, he blinked a few times and smacked his lips. "Mmm, red velvet." Pinkie giggled. "Alright, I'm holding you to that," she said. "Fluttershy, you get the animals ready for their parts." "O-okay," said Fluttershy, still worried about the timberwolf. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, and turned to the animals. "Alright, you three. Let's go over the script." She then led her critter friends and Opal off to one corner. As Pinkie saw them off, she felt a tap on her hind leg. Turning around, she saw the star of the show, Apple Bloom. "Oh, hey Apple Bloom!" she said cheerfully. "You excited?" "Um, kinda," said Apple Bloom meekly. "Actually, I'm a bit nervous. I never had a big role in a play like this before. What if I mess up, and everypony starts laughin' at me?" "Aw, don't worry about it," said Pinkie sweetly, giving Apple Bloom a pat on the back. "It doesn't matter how good we are, as long as we have fun and make everypony smile." "I suppose," said Apple Bloom, offering a weak smile of her own. "Also, I don't really get the script." "Hmm? What's wrong with the script?" asked Pinkie, tilting her head. "Well, there kinda isn't one," said Apple Bloom, looking over the script in her hooves. "I mean, I don't get any lines." "Well of course you don't, silly!" said Pinkie. "This isn't a speaking role." "But aren't I the main character?" "That doesn't automatically make it a speaking role," said Pinkie. "In fact, there are no other speaking roles besides the narrator." Apple Bloom blinked. "Huh? I'm confused." "It'll make sense once we get started," said Pinkie. "Just remember your cue, and you'll be alright." "Land sakes! What's a timberwolf doin' here?!" Pinkie and Apple Bloom looked up to see a horrified Granny Smith pointing at Discord's little pet. "Oh, that," said Pinkie sheepishly. "Well, we were going to just have a puppet, but Rainbow Dash is out with a sore throat. So, we're using a real one instead." "Ponyfeathers, child! Are you outta your cotton pickin' mind?!" Granny screeched. "Yeah, I actually get that a lot," said Pinkie. "Don't worry, Discord Pinkie Promised me that he'll keep it under control." "He'd better," Granny said with a snort. "But jus' in case, I'd better have some pots on standby. I've been dealin' with timberwolves since I was a filly, and those pots might be our only hope." "Pots. Got it," said Pinkie, making a note on the list in her clipboard. "I'll see if we have any spares in the prop bin." "Good," said Granny, looking over at Apple Bloom. "You alright, Apple Bloom?" "I-I'll be fine," said Apple Bloom, looking at the timberwolf. "I know you'll protect me, Granny. Them timberwolves are no match for you." "Darn tootin'!" said Granny with a wide grin. "Now, you need me to go over your lines with ya?" "Actually, Pinkie says I don't have any lines," said Apple Bloom. "But I do know my cue." "No lines?" asked Granny, taking out her reading glasses and looking over her own script. "Well, shut my mouth and call me an apple turnover. I don't have any lines, either. Pinkie, jus' what kinda play is this?" "Like I told Apple Bloom, it'll make sense once we get started," said Pinkie. "Just remember your cue." "Right, right. My cue," said Granny with a slow nod. Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "You, do remember your cue, don't you?" she asked Granny Smith. "Well, o'course I do!" said Granny. "It's uh... Eh... Um... What were we talkin' about again?" Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Don't you worry, Pinkie. I'll help Granny Smith remember her cue." "Thanks, Apple Bloom," said Pinkie with a smile. "You're a big help." Apple Bloom smiled back, and then sighed as she led Granny off to the side. "I sure hope the other girls are havin' better luck in the orchestra..." *** "Uh, are you sure this is the only instrument left?" Sweetie Belle said this as she looked up at a tall bassoon leaning against a metal chair. The conductor, Noteworthy, gave her a shrug. "I don't know what to tell you, Sweetie Belle," he said. "If you want to play in the orchestra, that's your only option." "But don't you have anything smaller?" Noteworthy raised an eyebrow. "That, kind of defeats the purpose of a bassoon. Nevertheless, I'll check backstage and see if there's a child-sized one for you." With that, he marched off towards the back while Sweetie looked over the large instrument. "Ah, don't worry 'bout it, Sweetie Belle," said Babs Seed, blowing back her combover as she cleaned her oboe. "Just think, this might be our big chance to get our Cutie Marks. That's why we're here in the first place, ain't it?" "W-well, yeah. But I feel like I'm kinda in over my head with this one," said Sweetie, arching her neck and swallowing. "Babs, do you wanna trade?" Babs gave Sweetie Belle a deadpan look. "You're kiddin', right? If you're gonna have trouble playin' that thing, why do you think I would be any betta?" Sweetie sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry," she said. She then looked over to Spike, who was practicing his flute. "Oh, hi Spike! I didn't know you were here." "Well, Pinkie said I'd be a natural on the flute. Don't know where she got that idea, but hey, it's Pinkie," said Spike with a shrug. "Yeah, I hear you," said Sweetie. "Hey, do you wanna trade instruments?" "Trade instruments?" Spike parroted, looking over at Sweetie. "Why do you want to trade instruments?" Sweetie pointed to the bassoon. "Ah," said Spike, giving a nod of comprehension. He then shrugged. "Well, sorry Sweetie Belle. I don't think I'd have much luck playing that thing, either. Unless I started hoarding again, but I don't think anypony wants that." "Oh," said Sweetie, flattening her ears and casting her eyes downward. "And what has you so troubled, little filly?" Sweetie looked up and saw a friendly-looking grey mare wearing a pink bow-tie. Her eyes sparkled. "Hey, aren't you Octavia, the famous cellist?" she said. "My sister listens to your band all the time. You're really good." "Well, thank you," said Octavia with a chuckle. "But, it's actually called an ensemble." "Huh. My sister keeps telling me the same thing, but I don't see the difference," said Sweetie, tilting her head. "You and Vinyl both," Octavia muttered under her breath. "What?" "Nothing," said Octavia. "Anyway, what seems to be the problem?" Sweetie Belle sighed. "Mr. Noteworthy says if I want to play in the orchestra, I have to play that thing," she said, pointing to the bassoon. "But it's too big for me." Octavia smiled warmly. "Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it," she said. "I had trouble getting used to my cello before I got my Cutie Mark." "Really?" Octavia paused, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "W-well, actually I had a foal-sized one growing up, so..." "Oh," said Sweetie, her expression drooping. "You were just trying to cheer me up, huh?" "Heh, guilty as charged," said Octavia, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Listen, I wish I could help, but..." "SORRY I'M LATE!" A loud, booming voice interrupted the conversation as a blue Earth Pony carrying a sousaphone galloped in. She stopped before Octavia, catching her breath. "I was wondering where you were, Beauty Brass," said Octavia. "Dare I ask what happened?" "I was *pant* supposed to *gasp* pick up Slick Licks *huff* for the show," said Beauty Brass between pants. "But he *puff* never showed up." "Slick Licks?" inquired Octavia, raising an eyebrow. "I thought he only played jazz." "Hey, a gig's a gig, kitten. Ms. Pie is payin' me a lot of bits for this little matinee." Making his way down the steps was a dusty red Earth Pony stallion wearing shades, a purple pinstripe suit, and wing-tip horseshoes. His Cutie Mark was that of a clarinet, which he also carried in a case on his back. Beauty Brass made a beeline to the stallion, not looking the least bit pleased. "YOU STOOD ME UP! THAT'S SO NOT COOL!" she shouted. "Excuse me?" said Slick Licks, lowering his shades. "Who stood who up, kitten? We were supposed to meet at the Canterlot train station." "We were?" said Beauty Brass with a blink. She then blushed. "Oh, sorry. I thought it was the Canterlot Gardens." "Hey, chillax," said Slick Licks with a smirk. "It's no skin off my nose. I'm here, ain't I? Now, let's get ourselves tuned up for this swinging party." He then took a seat next to Babs Seed, who couldn't help but stare in wonder. "Whoa," she said, her eyes sparkling. "Is that Slick Licks? As in the Slick Licks, the best jazz musician in Manehattan? That's so rad!" "He's really that good, huh?" said Scootaloo, making her way into the conversation. "Good? Try great!" said Babs. "You tellin' me you never heard of him before?" Scootaloo shrugged. "Sorry, Babs. I can't say that I have." Babs chuckled. "Filly, you don't know what you're missin'," she said. "Oh, Scootaloo!" said Sweetie Belle. "Do you wanna trade instruments?" "Huh?" said Scootaloo, raising an eyebrow. "Since when do you like drums, Sweetie Belle?" "Well, it's better than having to play this thing," said Sweetie, pointing to the bassoon. Scootaloo folded her forelegs. "Sweetie Belle, if you think I'm going to be able to play that, you're crazy." "Alright, everypony! Let's get ready! The curtain rises in ten minutes!" said Noteworthy, emerging from the back. All of the musicians took their spots. All, that is, except Sweetie Belle. "Um, Mr. Noteworthy?" she asked. "Did you find a...?" "Sorry, no," said Noteworthy, shaking his head. "You'll just have to make do, Sweetie Belle." "B-but..." "Oh, c'mon, Sweetie Belle," said Scootaloo. "You've gotten out of tough situations before, haven't you? If this is gonna lead to your Cutie Mark, you'll find a way." "Hmm. Maybe you're right," said Sweetie, striking a thinking attitude. She then noticed her sister coming down into the orchestra pit. "Oh, hello Sweetie Belle," Rarity said sweetly. "Pinkie said it was alright for me to come backstage and check up on you and Opal. How are things?" A mischievous grin spread on Sweetie's face. "A lot better, now that you showed up," she said. "Actually, I was wondering if you could do a favor for me..." Rarity felt a chill go up her spine. "I don't think I like where this is going," she said. *** "Um, Pinkie Pie?" "What is it now, Fluttershy?" "Mrs. Duckworth has a problem with the script." Pinkie raised an eyebrow, and took the script from Fluttershy's hooves. "Now, why would that be?" she mused, flipping through the pages. "She doesn't have any speaking lines, so there's nothing to object— doyewwwww!" Her eyes widened as she caught sight of a particular part of the script. "Yeeeeeeeeeah, I see your point," she said. "Discord, could you take a look at this?" Discord snatched up the script and summoned a broken pair of reading glasses. He looked over the script again and again before handing it back to Fluttershy. "I understand your concern, dear Fluttershy," he said with a gentle smile. "Don't you worry your pretty little head. Your fine feathered friend is in very capable hooves, as well as a very capable talon and a very capable paw. I Pinkie Promise." Fluttershy couldn't help but smile a bit. "Alright, I'll let her know," she said, turning back to the animals. "Oh, Opal! You shouldn't mess up your grooming like that! Rarity would have a fit!" As Fluttershy got the animals under control, Pinkie looked up at the clock. "Five minutes to magic time," she said, taking another look at her clipboard. "Hmm. Where are those hunters?" "I, actually don't think anypony applied for the role," said Discord. "Really? Well, that puts us in a bit of a pickle," said Pinkie. "Who can we get on such short notice?" "I'll handle that," said Discord. He then snapped his fingers, and summoned a sweet-smelling apple pie. After a few seconds, a curious noise was heard from above. "Pie!" All of a sudden, a streak of blue burst in from the ceiling and swiped the pie from Discord's paw. From the hole, two other pegasi flew in. Pinkie recognized them right away as the Wonderbolts. "Oh, what the hay, Soarin'?!" Spitfire yelled in exasperation as Soarin' gobbled up the pie. "Ugh, I knew we should've eaten before practice." "I'll try to remind you next time, Boss," said Rapidfire. "Oh, hey there!" said Pinkie. "Um, I was wondering if you three would be interested in being part of a play we're working on." "A play?" said Spitfire, raising an eyebrow. "I dunno, this is pretty short notice." "Oh, don't worry. There aren't any lines or anything," said Pinkie. "All you gotta do is fly around. And we'll be sure to pay you handsomely." Spitfire placed a hoof to her chin. "Hmm. Well, I don't think we had anything else planned today. What do you say, Rapidfire?" "Shouldn't be that different from any other show we put on," said Rapidfire with a shrug. "What about you, Soarin'?" Soarin' looked up from his pie. "Huh? Oh yeah, phure," he said with his mouth full. "Perfect!" said Pinkie. "Discord, give them the script." As Discord did so, Pinkie took a peek through the curtains. The place was packed with ponies, and she could hear the orchestra tuning up. She smirked. "Perfect-a-mundo," she said, turning back to the cast. "Okey-dokey-lokey, ponies! Everyone take your places! It's time we gave Canterlot a show they'll never forget!" There was a chorus of acknowledgment as everyone got into their positions. There was a round of applause, and the curtain began to rise. Pinkie's eyes narrowed, and a sly smile appeared on her face. "It's showtime."
Scene iAs the curtain rose, Pinkie bowed a few times to the audience before raising her hooves to indicate that she wanted silence. A hush fell over the crowd. "Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the Canterlot Theater!" she said cheerfully. "Today, the Fourth Wall Theater Troupe proudly presents the story of Apple Bloom and the Timberwolf. It is a musical tale, where each character is represented by an instrument in the orchestra. In that sense, the musicians are just as much characters as, well, the characters are!" There was a general muttering of confusion and comprehension amongst the ponies. "Don't worry, it'll make much more sense when we get started," said Pinkie, taking out her own script. "And with that in mind, sit back and enjoy this story, symphony, thingie. *ahem* On with the show!" Scene i "We start our story early one morning in a meadow just outside Sweet Apple Acres, where young Apple Bloom has decided to go out and play." On cue, Octavia played her cello beautifully, and little Apple Bloom tentatively stepped out onstage. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Apple Bloom frolicked through the meadow. Letting herself get lost in the music, she felt her stage fright melt away, and a big grin appeared on her face. When Octavia stopped, she lay down on the grass and breathed a great sigh. "Told ya it'd be okay," Pinkie muttered to herself before turning back to her script. "Just then, Hummingway the hummingbird flew in to pay Apple Bloom a visit. He flittered this way, and he flittered that way. 'All is quiet! All is queit!' he chirped gaily." Pinkie heard some snickers in the audience and placed her hooves on her hips. "Not that kind of gaily," she growled. "Seriously, get your heads out of the gutter." As she scolded the rude audience members, Hummingway continued to fly around Apple Bloom, chirping along with Spike's flute. Apple Bloom couldn't help but smile, but in the back of her mind, she thought that all was not so quiet anymore. "Ugh, some ponies are so immature," Pinkie groaned, rolling her eyes. "Anywho, where was I? Oh yes! Hummingway wasn't the only fine feathered fellow who wanted to visit Sweet Apple Acres this fine day. For swimming in the pond was none other than Mrs. Duckworth, who, surprise of surprises, was a duck." Although Babs Seed managed to get her cue right, Mrs. Duckworth was still nervous about going out on stage. With some gentle prodding from Fluttershy, she finally relented halfway into the piece, swimming up to Apple Bloom and Hummingway and giving a friendly quack hello. "Hummingway flittered over to Mrs. Duckworth, looked over the larger bird, and shrugged his shoulders. How he did this mid-flight is anyone's guess, but whatever. Anyway, he had an interesting conundrum on his mind. "'Now, what kind of bird are you if you can't fly?' he asked Mrs. Duckworth, to which Mrs. Duckworth replied; 'As a matter of fact, I can fly. I think the better question is what kind of bird are you if you can't swim?' And with that, she dove into the pond." Mrs. Duckworth carried out the action in Pinkie's narration, splashing both Apple Bloom and Hummingway. Apple Bloom sputtered, while Hummingway began tweeting and twittering angrily. "The two birds began to argue; Mrs. Duckworth in the pond, Hummingway hovering over the shore. "'Birds aren't supposed to swim!' Hummingway tweeted. "'Well, I'm insulted by your accusation that I can't fly!' Mrs. Duckworth quacked." Apple Bloom was getting confused. Was this really what birds argued about? Or was this just Pinkie being Pinkie? Before she could contemplate further, she noticed a tuft of white fur poking out from behind the background scenery. "As the birds quarreled, something caught Apple Bloom's attention," said Pinkie, as if predicting this development. "She noticed Rarity's cat, Opalessence, crawling through the grass." Sure enough, Opal snuck through the grass as Slick Licks laid down his tunes. She looked over the scenery and eyed Hummingway with interest. "'Ah-ha!' Opal thought. 'That bird is too busy arguing with the duck to notice me. Looks like I just found myself a little snack.' And so, ever so slowly, she crept up on Hummingway, waiting for a chance to get him in between her paws." Opal's tail swished in time with Slick Lick's clarinet, and she kept a careful eye on Hummingway's every move. Just before she could strike, however... "'Look out!' shouted Apple Bloom. And with that warning, Hummingway flew right into a tree!" Both Apple Bloom and Opal were caught off guard by Pinkie's sudden narration, while Hummingway got away as quickly as possible. While they both tried to process this, Mrs. Duckworth began quacking at Opal. "Mrs. Duckworth was none too pleased that Hummingway flew off before they could finish their debate," said Pinkie. "She quacked angrily at Opal from the safety of the middle of the pond." Opal hissed back at Mrs. Duckworth, but when it proved futile, she made her way over to the tree where Hummingway was resting. "Opal looked up into the tree and pondered, 'Hmm. Is it really worth it for me to climb up? By the time I get there, the bird will have flown away.' And of course, she was right. I gotta say, Rarity, you have a pretty smart kitty." Opal purred at the compliment, while Apple Bloom simply tilted her head. "Just then, Granny Smith came storming into the meadow, looking rather cross." Unlike last time, there was no music from the orchestra pit. Pinkie raised an eyebrow and tapped her foot. "I said, Granny Smith came storming into the meadow, looking rather cross," she repeated. Noteworthy looked into the orchestra pit, and he had to smack his forehead with his hoof when he saw the problem. "Oof! I don't know how you talked me into this," Rarity growled, sitting down while Sweetie Belle climbed onto her shoulders. "Rarity, Mr. Noteworthy said that if I want to play in the band, I have to play the bassoon," Sweetie Belle grunted, struggling to get her footing. "And this is the only way I can play it. Don't you want me to get my Cutie Mark?" "Sweetie, darling. You can't get your Cutie Mark if I *ow* help you," Rarity said. Sweetie didn't really have a comeback for that. "Um, well... Maybe it'll give me inspiration to practice it on my own!" Rarity groaned. "Sweetie, has the thought that I don't even know how to play the bassoon crossed your mind?" "You just have to press the keys and stuff," said Sweetie. "How bad can it be?" Noteworthy rapped the music stand with his baton. "Are we interrupting anything, ladies?" he asked. Both of the unicorn sisters turned bright red. "Um, terribly sorry," said Rarity. "W-we're just getting this sorted out." Discord appeared out of nowhere and sighed. "Alright, I think you two have been embarrassed enough," he said with a snap of his fingers. Rarity's horn then began to glow, and each of the proper holes were pressed. "I just taught you a bassoon-playing spell. You're welcome," said Discord before giving Noteworthy a nod. "Anytime you're ready, maestro." Everypony decided that it was better not to question it. Noteworthy raised his baton, and Sweetie Belle leaned forward towards the bassoon's reed. "Sorry about that, everypony," said Pinkie, clearing her throat. "Now then, third time's the charm. Just then, Granny Smith came storming into the meadow, looking rather cross." Unlike Sweetie Belle and Rarity, Granny Smith came in on cue, marching right up to Apple Bloom at her usual slow pace. "'Apple Bloom, doncha know it's Zap Apple season?' she scolded the young filly. 'The timberwolves are gettin' restless. If one o'them critters were to wander out of the Everfree Forest and into this here meadow, what would ya do then, eh?'" It took a bit for Granny Smith to catch on, but once she did, she successfully pantomimed Pinkie's narration. Apple Bloom was genuinely frightened by her demeanor. "But little Apple Bloom didn't listen to her grandmother. 'C'mon, Granny!' said she. 'Ah ain't afraid of no timberwolf! Ah might even get mah Cutie Mark in timberwolf wranglin'!' You see, fillies her age simply weren't afraid of anything. Or at least, they acted like that." Discord snapped his fingers once again, and Apple Bloom found herself holding a hoof puppet of a timberwolf. With a shrug, she started teasing Granny Smith with it, showing that she wasn't scared. Granny simply gave Apple Bloom a stern look and folded her forelegs. Noticing her grandmother's mood, Apple Bloom's expression drooped and she sighed. "But alas, cooler heads prevailed. Granny Smith took Apple Bloom by the foreleg and led her home." Granny did just as Pinkie narrated, leading Apple Bloom offstage as Rarity and Sweetie Belle played them out. End of Scene i Author's Note For Opal's musical accompaniment, turn up the volume. It's a bit quiet. Also, I know there should be more musical accompaniment, but this was all I could find. And honestly, I'm glad I was this lucky.
Scene iiScene ii After Apple Bloom and Granny Smith had left, the lighting on the stage became darker, giving Pinkie an intimidating presence. She looked like she was ready to tell a scary story. "No sooner had Apple Bloom had gone, a great, fierce timberwolf emerged from the Everfree Forest." As Beauty Brass played her sousaphone, the timberwolf made its way onto the stage. It let out several deep-throated snarls; its noxious breath causing ponies to cringe in disgust. "Yeesh, that's one smelly timberwolf," said Pinkie, wrinkling her nose. "Discord, can we do something about this? I'm betting it's gonna drive our audience away." "On it," said Discord with a snap of his fingers. With that, the ventilation system kicked in, clearing out most of the putrid fumes. "Thank you," said Pinkie, turning back to her script. "Now then, this timberwolf was particularly nasty. As everypony knows, timberwolves typically hunt in packs. But this one was kicked out of the pack for reasons unknown. As such, it was not in a particularly good mood." Discord snapped his fingers again, and the timberwolf became agitated. It let out a powerful roar that echoed throughout the theater. "So, because it was in such a bad mood, it decided to take it out on whatever it happened to bump into. Any animal that saw it knew to steer clear." The timberwolf continued to prowl around the stage, roaring and snarling. It then noticed Opal and arched its back; its green eyes narrowing. "When Opal saw the timberwolf, she quickly climbed up the tree, further proving what a smart kitty she is." Opal didn't need to be told twice. As Slick Licks laid out some slick tunes, she let out a frightened meow and dashed up the tree as quick as a wink. "Mrs. Duckworth, however, was too frightened to think," said Pinkie. "She quacked, and in her foolishness, jumped out of the pond!" However, Mrs. Duckworth did nothing of the sort. She ducked her head under the water, shivering with fright. Pinkie placed her hooves on her hips and began tapping her foot again. "I said, Mrs. Duckworth jumped out of the pond!" she repeated. "Um, I'm sorry, Pinkie Pie," said Fluttershy, emerging from backstage. "Mrs. Duckworth still doesn't like the script." Pinkie sighed. "Flutters, Discord and I both Pinkie Promise that she'll be alright. Don't you trust us?" "Well, I do," said Fluttershy. "But Mrs. Duckworth doesn't trust Discord." "Oh, what a shock!" yelled a heckler from the audience. "I'm betting that timberwolf's real, and Discord brought it in to attack us!" "Ah ha ha ha ha ha," Discord said dryly. "Pinkie, I think this joker should play the part of the duck." "Uh, yeah. A bit too harsh there, Discord," said Pinkie. "Though you're right about one thing, that heckler's pretty rude. We should get him out of here." "Agreed," said Discord. "And I know the perfect way to do so." He then snapped his fingers. In a flash of light, a stallion was found stuffed into Beauty Brass's sousaphone. "HEY!" Beauty Brass boomed, annoyed by this turn of events. "Nothing to worry about. We're just getting rid of a heckler," said Discord. "Maestro?" Noteworthy shrugged and continued conducting. Taking a deep breath, Beauty Brass blew into her sousaphone, and to her shock sent the heckler flying out the door. "Don't worry, he's fine!" Discord reassured the audience. "He just had to take part in some physical humor. You know how it is." Pinkie giggled. "I hate to admit it, but that was kinda funny," she said, turning back to Fluttershy. "Now, can you please convince Mrs. Duckworth that she'll be alright? We need to get back to the show." "O-okay," said Fluttershy. She talked to Mrs. Duckworth for a while before heaving a great sigh. "I'm sorry, Pinkie. She's not budging." "Oh, for goodness's sake," Discord groaned. He then snapped his fingers, and Mrs. Duckworth was propelled out of the pond and found herself face-to-face with the timberwolf. "Thank you, Discord," said Pinkie, turning back to the script. "Anyway, the timberwolf began to chase Mrs. Duckworth all over the meadow!" Just as Pinkie narrated, Mrs. Duckworth ran all over the stage; the Timberwolf at her heels. "But no matter how fast she ran, she couldn't escape! The timberwolf was getting nearer, and nearer, and nearer! It was catching up with her!" The chase continued for a while, until the timberwolf had Mrs. Duckworth cornered against a tree. "And finally, it caught her, and with one snap of its jaws, ate her." The timberwolf snapped its jaws, and Mrs. Duckworth disappeared in a puff of feathers. The audience gasped in horror. Discord smiled. "Time to uphold my Pinkie Promise," he said to himself, snapping his fingers. As Babs played a sorrowful tune on her oboe, a wooden cage marked 'Timberwolf's Stomach' descended from above. Inside the cage was none other than Mrs. Duckworth, looking surprised and confused as she paced the cage. Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief. "At least she's okay for real," she whispered, a ghost of a smile crossing her face. The cage then disappeared into the rafters, and Pinkie continued. "Now, this is how things stood," said Pinkie. "Opal was sitting on one brach of the tree, and Hummingway was sitting on the other. Of course, he wasn't sitting too close to Opal." Opal eyed Hummingway as he hopped along the branch opposite her. He was starting to get on her nerves, but because of the timberwolf, she restrained herself. "All the while, the timberwolf paced around and around the tree with hungry eyes," said Pinkie. "For although it was made out of wood, it still couldn't climb up trees. You ponies at home figure that one out." The timberwolf did as Pinkie narrated, snarling and growling all the while. "'Oh, who will save us?' Opal wailed. 'Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE, WORST, POSSIBLE, THING!'" There was a clearing of the throat from the orchestra pit as Rarity shot Pinkie a dirty look. Pinkie gave her a sheepish grin and continued. "Little did Opal know that her savior was watching everything that was going on from the safety of her home." The set changed to a reproduction of Apple Bloom's room, where she was looking out a window. "'Aw, that poor ducky! And the poor birdie and kitty, too,' Apple Bloom said to herself. 'Ah gotta do somethin' to help them!'" Apple Bloom gave Pinkie a look. "C'mon, Pinkie. I don't sound like that," she said. "Shh! This isn't a speaking role!" Pinkie hissed. "Well, at least have me talk correctly!" Apple Bloom whispered back. Pinkie sighed. "Look, just wait until Granny Smith falls asleep, steal your sister's rope, and go save the day, will you?" Apple Bloom gave a sigh of her own. "Fine," she said reluctantly. "But I'd better turn out alright." "Hey, you saw what happened to Mrs. Duckworth," Pinkie whispered with a reassuring pat on the back. "Everything will be just fine." Apple Bloom nodded and smiled as she went backstage. When she was gone, Pinkie gulped. I hope, she added mentally. End of Scene ii
Scene iiiScene iii "Alright, where was I?" said Pinkie, turning back to her script. "Ah, yes! Apple Bloom felt it was her duty to save her animal friends. So, when Granny Smith was asleep, she snuck out of the house, taking her sister's rope with her." The scenery then shifted back to the meadow, where Apple Bloom walked in on tiptoe with a rope hanging over her shoulder. She swallowed as she saw the timberwolf pacing around the tree where Hummingway and Opal sat. "Once she got to the meadow, Apple Bloom noticed that the tree where the timberwolf was pacing had a long, thick branch leading towards the ground. 'Gee, how dramatically convenient,' she whispered to herself. But, not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, she climbed up the branch stealthy, managing not to catch the timberwolf's attention." Apple Bloom was a bit confused by Pinkie's narration, but did as she was told. Despite the fact that the timberwolf could clearly see what she was doing, it mysteriously paid her no mind. Soon enough, she found herself up in the tree right next to Hummingway. "When she was safely in the tree, she whispered to Hummingway, 'Psst, Hummingway. Think y'all can do me a favor? Fly down and distract the timberwolf for a bit, but make sure it doesn't catch you.' "'And what'll you be doing?' asked Hummingway. "'Just trust me. Ah've got a plan,' said Apple Bloom." And now I can talk to birds, apparently, Apple Bloom thought. This is a weird play. Then again, Pinkie did direct this, so why should I have expected anythin' different? Hummingway shrugged, and flew over to the timberwolf. It flittered right into its face, causing the timberwolf to become annoyed. "'Hello, Timberwolf! I'm a distraction!' Hummingway chirped as it brushed the timberwolf's snout with its wings. The timberwolf would've questioned this comment had it not been so thoroughly agitated with the hummingbird." The timberwolf snapped angrily at Hummingway, only to miss each and every time. Hummingway continued to pester the wooden creature, pecking at its head and buzzing it with his wings. "Oh, how Hummingway did worry the timberwolf! It wanted nothing else than to get rid of that little pest. But Hummingway was clever, and there was nothing the timberwolf could do about it." Hummingway zipped around the timberwolf's head, and the timberwolf continued to try and catch him. The routine continued until Pinkie noticed that Hummingway was getting cocky. "Look out, please, for overconfidence," she warned. Before Hummingway could inquire as to what she meant, he bumped his head against the timberwolf's snout and fell to the ground. The timberwolf looked down at the bird with hungry eyes. "Told ya," said Pinkie, turning back to her script. "Anyway, while this was going on, Apple Bloom made a lasso with the rope, and quietly swung it over her head. She only had one shot at this, and she had to make it count." Apple Bloom did as Pinkie narrated, trying her best to emulate her sister. The lasso wobbled as she spun it around and around, and beads of sweat formed on her face. "Once she found her opening, she snagged the timberwolf's tail, and pulled with all her MIGHT!" Pinkie's exclamation startled the timberwolf, and it snarled. It was about to charge for her when Apple Bloom tossed her lariat and successfully snagged the timberwolf's tail. Just as Pinkie narrated, she pulled and pulled, somehow being a match for the timberwolf in this game of tug-o-war. "The timberwolf howled and barked angrily as Apple Bloom continued to pull on the rope. No matter how much the timberwolf struggled, there was no escape!" Apple Bloom held the lasso in her mouth and pulled like there was no tomorrow. She yanked the rope so hard that she lost her footing, and fell out of the tree. However, in a feat of strength that shocked even her, she pulled the timberwolf off the ground! The timberwolf snarled and tried to snap at Apple Bloom with its jaws. She managed to dodge just in the nick of time. "As Apple Bloom swung from the tree, the timberwolf charged at her again and again!" The timberwolf swung back on the rope, pawing the ground and opening its mouth. It leapt for Apple Bloom, and missed her by a hair. Not to be deterred, it tried again, only to get the same result. "Unbeknownst to the timberwolf, each attempt to hurt little Apple Bloom made the rope wind around the tree. As it grew more and more determined, the rope got tighter and tighter." This was indeed the case. With one final charge, the timberwolf propelled itself into the tree, taking Apple Bloom with it. As it got its bearings, it snarled at poor Apple Bloom, who tried her best to back away from the great beast. "Just as things were looking blackest..." Pinkie paused for dramatic effect and put a hoof to her ear. "Hark! What's that we hear? And what's this we see?" On cue, there was a flurry of wings as the Wonderbolts flew in overhead. "Why, it's the Wonderbolts! Spitfire, Rapidfire, and Soarin'! That's Soarin' in the middle, by the way. It appears that they were practicing a new routine over Ponyville." As she said that, the musical part of the accompaniment ended, and a twinkle could be seen in Scootaloo's eye. She pounded the timpani with a mighty vigor, and the Wonderbolts launched into a beautiful sky show, flying off in every direction. When the music resumed, they returned to formation with ease. "Ya yump bah dump pah yump ba dump pah..." Soarin' hummed along with the music. "Glad to see you're enjoying yourself," Spitfire whispered to her wingpony. "But seriously, could you put a lid on it? This show is very last minute, and we need to concentrate. We can't afford any distrac—" Opal meowed, and Scootaloo pounded the timpani once again. The Wonderbolts flew off every which way, appearing to be startled. Once they had settled, Scootaloo had not. She continued her little drum solo despite everypony staring at her. When she did notice, her tempo slowed until she concluded her piece with one last boom and chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry. Got a little carried away," she said, nervously rubbing the back of her head. "Right," said Pinkie, clearing her throat and turning back to the script. "'It's alright, it's alright!' Apple Bloom called out. 'Ah managed to catch the timberwolf, somehow. Everyone is safe and sound.'" Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow and looked over at the timberwolf. She had to do a double take as she saw that it had gotten tangled up in the rope and was now tied firmly to the tree. "'Well, that's something,' said Spitfire, not sure what to make of this. 'What should we do now?' "'How 'bout a parade through Ponyville?' suggested Apple Bloom. "Ah want everypony to see how brave and cool Ah was.'" Apple Bloom's face began to match her bow, but she said not a word. "'Sounds like a great idea!' said Rapidfire. 'Let's go!'" Discord then snapped his fingers, and the set changed in an instant to a recreation of Ponyville. "Now, picture if you will, the great procession that followed. First, there was Apple Bloom herself." Apple Bloom trotted out on stage, waving happily to the audience. "Followed in turn by the Wonderbolts, and the timberwolf trapped a cage." The Wonderbolts marched out, with Soarin' pulling the trolly that held the timberwolf in a cage made of bamboo. The timberwolf growled and snarled, but seemed relatively tame. "Then, Hummingway flew in, happily singing." Hummingway flittered about, teasing the timberwolf once again. The timberwolf had no strength to fight, and merely grumbled and growled. "Bringing up the rear were Granny Smith and Opal. Granny told Opal, 'Y'know, if Apple Bloom didn't have that there rope and find that there branch to climb up, what do you think would've happened then? Ah, fillies today. They think they know everything.'" Granny walked in at her usual slow pace, pantomiming her rant to Opal. Opal wasn't the least bit interested, and merely lounged about on Granny's back. "And, if you listen very closely, you can here Mrs. Duckworth quacking away. For in its hurry, and with a particular lack of tact, the timberwolf had eaten her alive. How's that possible with a timberwolf? Folks, I'm just as clueless as you all are." Once again, the cage above lowered down, and showed Mrs. Duckworth laying about and enjoying some bread crumbs. When she noticed that she was on, she quacked nervously. "And out of curiosity, Apple Bloom checked her flank. Alas, it was still bare." "Oh, c'mon!" Apple Bloom cried, noticing that what Pinkie said was true. "After all that?!" Pinkie chuckled. "Don't worry, Apple Bloom. There's always next time!" The cast then shared a bit of a laugh as the orchestra concluded the piece. There was a round of applause, and the curtain closed. End of Scene iii The applause continued as the curtain was raised again for the curtain call. The first ones out were Pinkie and Discord, who both took a bow. "Thank you, thank you!" Pinkie cheered. "Indeed, you are too kind," said Discord with a suave smile. "But really, this wouldn't have been possible without our wonderful performers and musicians. So everypony, come on up!" He snapped his fingers, and Noteworthy found himself onstage. Perplexed at first, he soon relaxed and took a bow. The next ones out were Apple Bloom and Octavia. Apple Bloom beamed with delight, while Octavia simply smiled modestly. After them, it was Hummingway and Spike. Hummingway chirped happily while Spike snickered and shook his head. "Pinkie will always be Pinkie, I suppose," he muttered to himself as he took a bow. Then, Mrs. Duckworth and Babs Seed came out onstage. Babs looked over at her flank, and frowned in disappointment when she found no Cutie Mark. "I didn't do that bad, did I?" she asked Mrs. Duckworth. Mrs. Duckworth shrugged and bowed, and Babs simply did the same, although she felt a tad embarrassed. Following them were Opalessence and Slick Licks. Opal purred in contentment while Slick Licks merely pointed his hoof and winked. After that, Granny Smith, Sweetie Belle, and Rarity took the spotlight. Granny seemed pleased while the unicorn sisters still weren't all that happy. "You owe me big time," Rarity whispered to her sister. "I know, I know," Sweetie whispered back. "I didn't even get my Cutie Mark, anyway." Then, it was the timberwolf and Beauty Brass's turn. Beauty Brass couldn't help but stare at the timberwolf in a mixture of confusion and fear as it took a bow alongside her. The last ones were Scootaloo alongside the Wonderbolts. As the Wonderbolts waved to the crowed, Scootaloo couldn't contain herself. I'm standing with the Wonderbolts, I'm standing with the Wonderbolts, I'm standing with the Wonderbolts! she thought. She found that she couldn't say anything, except for repeating "Omigosh omigosh omigosh!" over and over again. Spitfire had to chuckle. All of the performers then came together and ended with a final bow. The curtain closed one last time. The End (of the play) Author's Note As the last caption signifies, this is not the end of our story. Not quite. What's to come? Well, I think you can guess, seeing how we opened this little tale.
After the Show"Well, that was fun!" said Pinkie with a huge grin. "Did everypony have a good time?" "I guess," said Apple Bloom with a sigh. Pinkie tilted her head. "Hey. Why so glum, chum?" she asked. "It's not fair," said Apple Bloom sadly. "I risk mah life tryin' to wrangle a timberwolf, and I don't even get my Cutie Mark." "Well, to be fair, this was a semi-tame timberwolf," said Discord. "It didn't technically count." "Besides, we're all proud of ya, Cutie Mark or no Cutie Mark," Babs Seed added. "You were awesome, Cuz!" Apple Bloom blushed. "Aw, c'mon. I wasn't that great." "My hoof you weren't!" said Granny Smith, patting Apple Bloom on the head. "You showed them ponies a good time, and you managed to hold your own against a timberwolf. What's not to be proud of?" "She's right, y'know." Apple Bloom perked up, and she turned to see Applejack and Big Macintosh walk in. "Hey, AJ! Hey, Big Mac!" said Pinkie. "How'd you like the show?" "It was pretty neat, Pink," said Applejack with a smile. "And we both thought Apple Bloom was amazin'. Didn't we, Big Mac?" "Eeyup," said Big Mac with a nod. Apple Bloom grinned from ear to ear. "Thanks, y'all. Now that I think about it, I actually had a lot of fun." "Well, that was the idea," said Pinkie with a wide grin of her own. "It didn't really matter how good we were, as long as we all had fun and made everypony smile." "While I have to agree that this was quite enjoyable, I don't think the theater critics are going to have the same mindset," said Octavia. "I have the feeling that most of them are going to think this was very unprofessional and sloppy, what with the missed cues and constant interruptions." "I felt that was part of the fun," said Discord with a shrug. "Honestly, if the critics bash this show, they have no idea what good entertainment is." "I like the way this guy thinks." Octavia turned and saw her roommate Vinyl Scratch walk in. "I didn't think this was your type of music, Vinyl," said Octavia with a playful smirk. "Oh, don't be like that, Tavi," said Vinyl with a laugh. "Am I not allowed to check out one of your performances every once in a while? By the way, you rocked. So did the rest of the band." Octavia sighed. "It's not a band, Vinyl. It's an orchestra." "I thought you said it was an ensemble." "That's diff—! Ugh, why do I even bother?" Vinyl burst out laughing at Octavia's frustration. Slick Licks looked on in confusion. "Do those two always act like that?" he asked Beauty Brass. "More than you know," said Beauty Brass. "It's, pretty complicated from what I hear." "Huh," said Slick Licks with a shrug. "Boy, those two sure are a couple of crazy cats." As if part of an obvious segue, Opal walked in and began brushing herself against Slick Licks's legs. Rarity and Sweetie Belle trotted over. "It appears Opal enjoyed your music, Mr. Licks," said Rarity. "Heh. Looks like it," said Slick Licks. "You two weren't half bad yourselves, once you got your acts together." Sweetie Belle flattened her ears and sighed. "That was my fault. I wanted to play in the orchestra so I could get my Cutie Mark, but that big ole bassoon was the only instrument left." Rarity gave her sister a warm smile and placed a foreleg around her. "I wouldn't fret over it, darling. At least we enjoyed ourselves." Sweetie Belle looked up, and gave a smile of her own. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Rarity chuckled, and then became serious in an instant. "You still owe me, though." Sweetie giggled. "I know," she said, giving her older sister a hug. All of the tender scenes were interrupted by a snarl from the timberwolf. "Whoops! I knew I was forgetting something," said Discord with a snap of his fingers. And just like that, the timberwolf disassembled itself and flew back to the Everfree Forest from which it came. Pinkie stared a Discord blankly. "Huh. I didn't see that one coming," she said. "I thought we'd have a wacky scene where it went out of control, and Granny Smith had to use the pots." Discord snickered. "While that would've been hilarious, I know that nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise. At least, nopony that knows what's good for them." He then winked at Applejack, whose face started to turn a bit red. "I'd appreciate it if I wasn't reminded of that," she said, hiding her face with her hat. "I don't even know how you knew 'bout that. You weren't there." "Master of Chaos, remember? It makes sense for me not to make sense," said Discord. Applejack had to chuckle. "I suppose I can't argue with that logic," said she. "Oh, Discord!" said Fluttershy, flying in with Hummingway and Mrs. Duckworth. "Mrs. Duckworth says she wants to apologize for doubting you." "It's alright, my dear," said Discord with a sweet smile. "I know I'm not the most trustworthy fellow around. But like I said, one doesn't simply break a Pinkie Promise." "Darn right," said Pinkie. "So, Fluttershy! How'd you like the play?" "It was nice, despite some of the hiccups," said Fluttershy. "Hummingway had a great time, and so did Mrs. Duckworth." "I gotta admit, we had fun, too," Spitfire chimed in. "I'm actually surprised you managed to work us in at the last minute." "Actually, that was just improvisation," said Pinkie with a goofy grin. The Wonderbolts stared blankly at Pinkie. "I don't think we're supposed to think too much about it, Boss," said Rapidfire. Spitfire was about to comment when she felt a gentle prodding against her side. She turned to see Scootaloo, who had a big smile plastered on her face. "Oh, hey there," said Spitfire. "What's up?" "I-I just wanna say how a-awesome it was to be s-s-standing with you, and, uh... CouldIhaveyourautograph?!" Spitfire stifled a giggle. "Well, of course you can. Does anypony have a pen?" Discord snapped his fingers, and a quill and some parchment appeared right before Spitfire's eyes. "Thanks," she said. "S'aright," said Discord with a bow. Spitfire sniggered a bit and took the quill in hoof. "Now, who am I making this out to?" "Scootaloo," the orange filly blurted out. "Oh, and could you also add 'Get Well Soon, Rainbow Dash' to it? She's feeling kinda sick right now, and it'd mean a lot to her." "It'd be my pleasure," said Spitfire warmly. She made out the autograph and gave it to Scootaloo. "Thanks a bunch, Ms. Spitfire!" said Scootaloo joyfully. "Oh man! I don't even care that I didn't get my Cutie Mark! This play was awesome!" Spike smirked as he watched all of the antics in silence. He then turned to Noteworthy. "Well, that was a pretty crazy performance." "Yeah, but it was the good kind of crazy," said Noteworthy. "Even if the critics are left scratching their heads, I think they'll probably get a chuckle or two during this production." "It wouldn't be a Pinkie Pie play if there wasn't," said Spike with a snicker of his own. "Alright, everypony! Listen up!" Pinkie announced, clapping her hooves to get everyone's attention. "We're having a wrap party at Sugarcube Corner for all who are interested! There will be lots of cakes and pies for everyone!" "Did somepony say pie?! Oh man, count me in!" said Soarin'. There was a shared laugh as everyone made their way to the Canterlot train station, humming snippets from the performance all the way. "Well, I'd say this was a rousing success, Discord," said Pinkie, walking alongside the draconequus. "Everypony had a good time..." "Yeah, if being shot out of a sousaphone counts as a good— *mmph*" The heckler from before came up to complain, but Discord silenced him by zipping his mouth shut. Pinkie cleared her throat. "Well, almost everypony had a good time," she clarified. "And we all had lots and lots of fun putting it together. So, what's next?" "Oh, I have some ideas running around," said Discord. "Might take some time to actually put them together, and we might want to rework the introduction a bit, but it'll be just as fun as this was." Pinkie smiled. "Discord, I believe that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." "Agreed," said Discord. "Almost makes me wonder why you didn't give me a chance when Celestia first decreed that I should be reformed." "Are you really going to bring that up now?" "I'm just saying that you of all ponies should've been the most comfortable with chaos." "Well, I am, but you summoned that yummy chocolate rain without a dollop of whipped cream to go with it." "I promise, the next time I do that, I'll remember. Is that really the only reason you didn't trust me?" "Kinda." "That doesn't make sense. I like that..." The End (of the story) Author's Note Will the Fourth Wall Theater Troupe return? Well, maybe. Like Discord said, I have one or two ideas running around, but I have to consider how to present them. It would be pretty confusing if each production had more or less the same synopsis. I will say this, though. If anyone else is interested in making a Fourth Wall Theater Troupe story, they're welcome to it. Just, be sure to credit me for the concept.
