A Lesson in Mental Hygiene

by Scoopy

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Comedy, Romance, Fleur de Lis
Length: 1231

Fleur-de-Lis goes on a date with Colgate. She learns that perhaps Fancy's notion of "rustic charm" applies to her as well.

At Fancy Pants' suggestion, Fleur-de-Lis decides to explore her realms of the Canterlot life, to indulge in wonderous activities (that may or may not be risque) with her fellow gentlemares... to achieve and reinforce her own status as a near noblemare!

Actually, it's just a date with a mystery unicorn that Fancy Pants chose. Oh no.

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Tags may be misleading at first, they will become (hopefully) more apparent later on.

Published 2013-03-28 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-28 22:30:02 UTC

The Meeting

Fleur-de-Lis waited patiently by the door in front of the restaurant. Several ponies came and went, but she just didn't know who it could be.

Nor was she particularly excited to find out who it was.

She had been waiting here for several minutes, and that's several minutes more than she should have to wait.

She was trying, she really was, to understand Fancy's notion of that she should go and "experiment" with other members of the opposite... persuasion. Not that it was odd to her of course, she certainly knew that it was quite common of members of the Canterlot elite to engage in such activities.

At least, the females. The males never did. Fleur didn't understand why, but she didn't give it much thought.

Fancy had told her that the one he 'recommended' (more like chosen, Fleur thought) for her was "really quite delightful, and certainly hygienic!"

Perhaps, Fleur thought. But she definitely wasn't punctual.

She lifted the her teacup and lightly took a sip of from her tea. It was already getting cold. How long must I wait, she thought to herself.

She was never even told of who it would be. She would merely "show up" at the restuarant, and they would go and discuss matters.

Or right, it's a date, not a business meeting. Discuss... their lives, perhaps?

'I hope this will be worth my time Fancy,' she thought. 'Celestia knows I could be doing something else, something like-'

"Hi!"

A highly enthusiastic, yet somehow still reserved, voice broke her out of her thoughts. She almost dropped the teacup from her hooves, now realizing that she was using her hooves instead of her magic. How undignified! Under the... the stress of waiting, I've made a crucial and critical mistake in the handling of... ooh, I hope nopony saw me-

"Hi!" the voice repeated, as cheerful as before, only faltered just a little.

Even though Fleur was staring directly at her, she didn't notice who she was staring at until she broke out of her own thoughts. The pony was an azure unicorn, possessing a blue mane with a single white stripe (or is it half-white and half-blue, Fleur wondered), with what appeared to be an hourglass as her cutie mark. The most notable feature of her was her very bright smile, much brighter than even Fleur's own coat. 'Wait,' Fleur thought. 'She's actually smiling? Rarely do noblemares ever smile...'

She then realized that she wasn't wearing anything of course. That's how she was able to see her cutie mark. She's not a noblemare... 'Then again I'm not wearing anything either...' Fleur thought to herself in shame. She only did that because of, once again, Fancy's suggestion. Apparently it would make her date more at ease.

"Hi!" the voice repeated once more. Fleur looked up, then down, at her.

"Hello." she said, unenthusiastically. Based on appearance alone, she isn't much. She would have to judge based on apparrel, as is the societal Canterlot standard. Unfortunately, she's not wearing anything. She cannot (or rather should not) judge based on coat, mark and mane... it's not dignified.

The unicorn's smile started to fade at hearing the lack of enthusiasism in her voice. In fact, Fleur's response seemed to radiate to her, for she responded in a much softer voice, "Am I... bothering you?"

Looking at the now-cold tea, she surpressed an urge to inform her new apparent... what was the word Fancy used? Date? No, it couldn't be... oh well. It'd have to do. Her date had no sense of punctuality, wasn't even dressed, smiled before the date even started (though that last one was just an pet peeve of Fleur's), and...

She sighed inwardly. Fancy did know her best, and chose this one out of others.

Perhaps she should give her a chance first.

"No, you are not." she began, carefully making sure to not let her annoyance show in her voice. The unicorn interrupted.

"Oh, I am happy then!" she replied, smiling once again, looking at Fleur. 'I can see that.' she thought, mentally rolling her eyes. The pony's eyes almost seemed to shine just like her teeth. Fancy was right. Hopefully she was as well-mannered as she was hygienic.

"Good, good." she began. "Now..." she started. "What is your name?"

"Colgate!" She began, seemingly happy that they were speaking now. "Fancy Pants, of all ponies, I couldn't believe it, told me, that you-"

"Yes, yes, I am very well aware, Ms. Colgate." Fleur interrupted, trying to calm Colgate down. 'She is a bit too enthusiastic about this. She definitely isn't part of the Canterlot elite.' she concluded. Perhaps a welcome change, if Fancy's reaction to that old sabotage of the Canterlot Garden Party was any indication.

"You must be Fleur-de-Lis!" Colgate continued, as if she had just noticed that fact. "It's so cool to meet you!" She smiled, once again, at Fleur.

Fleur almost twitched her eye as hearing at her word usage. 'Cool? Well, could be worse.'

"A... *pleasure* to be meet you too." Fleur replied, emphasizing the word pleasure. She inwardly winced at her own usage. 'Wait, that could be interpreted as a double-entrendre, I do hope she doesn't notice...'

Colgate didn't. Instead, she was simply staring at her. Fleur suddenly felt warm.

'Why is she staring at me? Do I have something on my face? The stain of the tea? Oh Celestia forbid!'

Her thoughts left to her mouth. "Do I have something on my face?" she asked Colgate, not waiting for her to reply and used her magic to telekinetically lift a handkerchief from the table and wiped her face with it, a little less than gracefully.

"Oh no, there isn't," Colgate replied, still staring at her face, as if waiting her something.

Fleur set the hankerchief down. It looked as though Colgate was staring at her... snout? What? It couldn't be... when mares or stallions stare at the snout, it is because they are expecting a kiss! Surely this Colgate couldn't be expecting this already! Fleur decided to play it safe.

"Colgate... why are you staring at my snout? Are you... expecting something?"

"Yes, I am actually!" Colgate responded, oblivious to the sudden wince that came across Fleur's features.

'Oh goodness gracious,' she thought. "I could never believe Fancy would actually have the gall to-"

"I want to, if you don't mind, see your teeth!"

Fleur's mind drew a blank. Her teeth? Really? That's it? A little odd, but definitely better than a wanting a kiss before the date has even started! Fleur felt her face flush at the realization. 'Sorry Fancy!' she thought inwardly.

"Well, if you wish...?" Fleur said, unsure. She spread her lips, putting on a rather awkward smile for Colgate (not even realizing she just performed her own pet peeve).

"Ooh, they are quite shiny! I see you take good care of them!" Colgate replied. She seemed quite content in knowing this fact.

'Why of course they are,' Fleur thought. 'All of the Canterlot el-' She cut off her own thoughts. 'Right, I have a date. I suppose actually starting it, is due.'

Author's Note

Just a little something I came up with, barely polished. Not too sure it'll be good, but I'll try. Later chapter(s) should be longer, assuming I decide to continue it past what I've planned ahead so far.