Hotel Equestria

by AdrianJNovelle

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 4217

Anything can happen in an Equestrian hotel built by ponies for ponies - and does!

Two young, ambitious unicorns buy out an old building deep within the heart of Ponyville and call it the Hotel Equestria. Word travels fast, and soon the newfound building is home to many interesting tenants of all types and colors. Anything can happen within the walls of the Hotel Equestria - and does!

Based on and inspired by the somewhat, possibly true, most believable yet questionably accurate, and probably maybe nonfictional stories of the members of Hotel Equestria perhaps.

Published 2013-04-20 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-27 06:57:07 UTC

Aboard the Friendship Express

He stared listlessly at the High Castle and gave a weary sigh.

"Why do I not feel much happiness?" he inquired to himself as he averted his eyes to the ground below his hooves. "Can it be because I feel outcasted from society? Is it because I have spent my life in this city, and have feared ever leaving its walls? Or perhaps because I have unfulfilled dreams that I dare dream to dream?" He paused. "Is that why I have decided to move to Ponyville? Because my subconscious endeavor has caused me to act out of my character, and finally start down the path of my dreams?"

He took a glance around town, to see if anypony was staring at him.

"I do not belong here in the big city, where everypony who's anypony has a capital upbringing and a masterful acquity for business and fashion. I feel I belong in Ponyville: the small, populous town of Ponyville, where dreams are meant to come true. Lives are designed to be united. Where love is boundless. Sure, there is still much love and happiness here in Canterlot, but, as a lone stallion, I find the ability to attract love and happiness from this place quite difficult. It is why I am leaving this fair city, and pursuing my dreams."

He felt comfortable talking to himself, and was just about the only pony in Equestria who was. Whenever he had a monologue with himself, he feared other ponies looking at him - staring at him - with their large, beady eyes, and judging him. It was almost as if he feared - more than anything - being judged by everypony else. He was a familiar face here in Canterlot, having spent his entire life in the presence of the High Castle. Yet, it seemed, that there was always somepony out there who was quick to judge him.

He made a bow to the High Castle. "If I do not make my dreams come true...I promise to return." He then started on his way through town, and strolled through the crowds to the train station, with nothing but a sash over his shoulder to accompany him. He stood at the edge of the tracks and waited patiently for the Friendship Express to come to a complete stop before boarding. He sat alone in a seat by a window, so he could view Equestria as he rode down her spine.

"Morning, sir," said another unicorn as he seated himself next to him. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

A simple shaking of the head.

"Hmm. You don't talk much, do you?"

Another shaking of the head.

"Huh. Well, my name's Michael," he outstretched his hoof. "What's your name?"

The other unicorn eyed the outstretched hoof. He hoofbumped him. "Night Shade," he replied softly.

"You headed for Ponyville?"

Night Shade perked up at the clairvoyance. "Yes; how did you know?"

"Oh, I can just tell," said Michael. "Ponies who ride this train are very predictable. And even if they weren't, this train's next stop is Ponyville. And the Crystal Empire is in the opposite direction, so you'd be on the wrong train, anyway."

"You seem to know your Equestrian geography well."

"Oh, I have to. You see, I'm a businessmare- well, colt. I go from town to town selling and investing and bartering. Though I keep a home in Canterlot."

Night Shade made no reply.

"Why are you headed to Ponyville?" Michael inquired.

He sighed. "I'm off to pursue my dreams."

"Your dreams?"

Night Shade nodded. "My mind has overwhelmed me, and compells me to set out to Ponyville in order to seek the happiness I somehow lack in Canterlot."

"Lacking happiness, euh? That does sound like quite the dilemma...Do you know what you're going to do when you get to Ponyville?"

"I wish to open a hotel."

"A hotel?"

Night Shade nodded again. "Aye. There is no hotel in Ponyville. In fact, there are no hotels in all of this side of Equestria. Traveling citizens are always passing by, yet it seems there is no place for them to stay, as if they always rent a house or spend the night in someone else's home. What if they wanted a place of their own? Wouldn't they prefer that over having to share?"

"Yes...I'd figure that was the mindset of whomever invented the idea of the hotel...but...I fail to see how building a hotel will allow you to find happiness, Mr. Shade."

"It's the ponies," Night Shade explained. "Ponies who live in hotels long-term are different from the ponies who live in ordinary housing. They have a unique sense of community and belonging which is both undeniable and indestructible. They seem unified and codependent, as if they each depend on one another to survive as a whole. It is this sense of belonging and community I desire: to be included in the hustle-and-bustle of my own community hotel. I want to feel like I belong. And, well...I do not feel like I belonged alone in Canterlot."

"I see...so you feel you will receive happiness when you feel like you belong somewhere."

Night Shade only nodded.

"That's an excellent motive, Mr. Shade, and I respect it."

"Thanks."

"Do you have any plans for setting up your hotel when we arrive in Ponyville?"

This time, Night Shade shook his head. "No...I don't have much money, or much sense in the field of business."

It almost sounded as if he were intentionally trying to arouse the attention of the unicorn sitting next to him.

"You know..." Michael perked up. "I have much experience in the world of business. I'm an entrepreneur. Business is my middle name!" He sounded as if he could keep patting himself on the back forever. "Anyway, why don't I help you jumpstart your hotel, hmm? I have money. And I don't plan on doing anything in Ponyville that I haven't done a million times already. Whatdya say? You wanna partner up with me? Build your dreams that much faster."

Night Shade pondered the idea. He had about a week's worth of food money on him: less than a hundred bits to his name. And the supplies he carried in the sash around his neck was not going to get him far. If he did not do well in Ponyville, returning to Canterlot would be difficult. And it's not like he has the ability to pay for a whole hotel in cash - not one with more than two walls and one story, that is. He would have to sell his own puny estate back in Canterlot if he were to get his business anywhere off the ground. It did not occur to him before, but without Michael, his business might not ever take off. Then where would he be? A lone dreamer unable to accomplish the one goal in life he desired.

Now it seemed he had no choice.

"Deal."

Michael and Night Shade hoofbumped one another, just a few moments before the Friendship Express pulled up to its station in Ponyville.

And So It Begins

Michael stretched his hooves when he and Night Shade disembarked from the Friendship Express.

“So, where are we headed?” he asked.

Night Shade gave Michael a perplexed look. “How should I know? I just got here…We could…go visit Twilight.”

“I thought you said you wanted to start a hotel.”

“I do.”

“Well, then, shouldn’t we be doing something which builds on that?”

Night Shade did not reply.

Michael sighed and approached Night Shade as the loud train blew a whistle and started off for Fillydelphia.

“I don’t know what to do,” Night Shade said, drowned out by the tumult of the train.

“What?!”

“I SAID I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

“OH!”

The deafening train passed them by.

“Well, I don’t exactly know either, since I don’t manage hotels or even real estate for a living. I’m just an entrepreneur. But, I do have marketing experience. And, in my experience, you have to spend money to make money.”

Night Shade stared down at his hooves.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…I’m not in this to make money.”

Michael put his hoof on Night Shade’s shoulder. “I understand. But, regardless of your interests, our spending of money is inevitable. If we find something on which to spend money, it means we are making progress in accomplishing your dream, as well as mine.”

Night Shade looked up and at Michael.

“What do you mean accomplishing your dream?”

Michael gave Night Shade a blank expression. “I mean exactly that: accomplishing my dream, as well as yours. My dream is to make money, and make a financial difference in the world. I know Equestria isn’t exactly known for its economics, but this isn’t a poverty-stricken ghetto. It’s Ponyville. Flourishing in diverse flora, fauna, and ponies. It may not have the classiness of Canterlot, but it’s home to the lovely Twilight Sparkle and her friends, and was the location of last year’s Summer Sun Festival, let’s not forget. I know there is huge marketing potential here. And I know you’re gonna be the stallion to help me, as I help you, you see?”

Night Shade blinked. “Yeah…I see…”

Michael frowned. “You don’t sound very confident in me.”

“It’s not you, it’s just…”

“Yes?”

Night Shade sighed. “What if we don’t make it?”

Michael did not immediately reply. Finally, he uttered the words, “We won’t know unless we try.”

Night Shade sighed again. “Okay…let’s give it a try, then.”

Michael grinned. “C’mon. Let’s go see what there is to find in Ponyville where we can build a hotel.”

Michael started on his way, without Night Shade’s consent. Night Shade lingered behind him.

They soon arrived at the Town Hall, where they decided to rest their hooves.

“Well, we’re here in Ponyville. Greatest place in Equestria. Land of opportunity. So…what is there to be done about our dreams?” Michael inquired.

“I don’t know,” Night Shade replied timidly. He almost sounded as if he were about to cry.

“Well, your dream is to run a hotel. What is the first thing you would do to obtain a hotel?”

“Make money,” said Night Shade softly.

“Besides that.”

“…Find one?”

Michael nodded slowly. “Fine one…yes…but no previous hotel exists in all of Equestria – at least as far as I’m concerned – so, what are we to find if not a preexisting hotel?” He inquired with poise and confidence.

“Um…someone looking to sell?” Night Shade guessed.

“Precisely!” Michael exclaimed. He pointed to a large, run-down building at the other side of town, its towering rooftops visible from anywhere in Ponyville. The two unicorns set out to the establishment. A wealthy-looking earth pony decked out in a suit and tie with a monocle greeted them and showed them inside.

“This used to be an entertainment center,” he said, guiding the characters through the entryway. “Part apartment complex. Part recreational warehouse.”

“Could it function as a hotel?” Night Shade asked.

“A hotel…?” pondered the owner. “Hmm…well, it has rooms: of all varying sizes, too. You got your bigger suites near the top floors – your balconies – and then you got your smaller ones closer to the earth. It’s got a theater, a restaurant, a bar, a recreation center – all the comforts of home…I think with some TLC it could work as a hotel, yeah.”

“Do the rooms have kitchens?”

“The bigger ones…the smaller ones are just a bathroom, a bedroom, and living room.”

“We’d have to hire a chef,” Michael whispered to Night Shade. “But other than that and a little TLC on this place – which I can cover, I think we’ve got it made here…What do you think?”

“Up to you,” Night Shade replied earnestly. “It’s your money.”

“We’ll take it, then,” Michael said aloud.

“For real?” asked the owner.

“For real,” Michael replied.

The owner smiled. “I’ll get the paperwork.”

An Unexpected Guest

After the signing of a few documents (which was not quite a difficult job for two literate unicorns), Michael and Night Shade officially owned the building. Night Shade’s mouth dropped at the sight of all those zeros, and it dropped even more with how little hesitation Michael gave in the signing of a check. Of course, for he had little money on him; like any notable salesman, he kept the majority of his funds in the hooves of the Bank of Equestria.

The number on the check would only come to grow as they began evaluating the condition of the architecture. It seemed so much prettier and stable on the outside than it did on the inside. There was a room which appeared to have been used as a dinner theatre: plenty of run-down, empty space within the barren, wooden walls of the crass wallpaper which once lined the walls, and a stage at the far end which had seen better days. Half the lights which rested on the perimeter were either missing or broken beyond repair, and what was left intact was covered in a layer of thick dust, as if they had not been handled in ages.

“How much would restoring this room alone cost?” Night Shade asked as he surveyed it from the center, his meek voice echoing through the hollow hall. Michael stood nearby in observation.

“A pretty penny,” he replied. “Quite a pretty penny. Perhaps a few pretty pennies.”

“As if we even use pennies as currency,” Night Shade remarked, approaching the stage. He climbed aboard from the ground since the few stairs were too damaged to safely ascend. He cupped his hooves over his mouth. “Echo!” he exclaimed into the shadows. His voice reverberated off the walls and reflected back to him and Michael. “Wow,” more echo. “It sure does echo a lot in here…”

“That I think we can control,” Michael replied, stepping closer to the stage. “Although this room is quite spacious, I take it if we buy some tables and chairs – or find some – the extra matter will minimize the reverbs.”

A look of astonishment suddenly came upon Night Shade’s face. “You mean we’re going to invest more money into here?”

Michael eyed Night Shade. “Of course. You have to spend money to make money. That’s the first thing they teach in business school…the second being about supply and demand. But you don’t have to have taken business school to know that a dump like this will attract nopony except maybe a few wandering hobos looking for a shelter. But our intention is not to set up a shelter for hobos: we are intending to establish an Equestrian hotel. And hotels look formidable.”

“But, the money-”

“Stop worrying about the money!” Michael exclaimed. “I am the salesman. Let me worry about the money. You worry about your side of the hotel, okay? Let the pony with the money worry about the money, and the pony with the social skills worry about the atmosphere. I want this place looking attractive and pleasing to the eye. I don’t doubt you will be able to provide a pleasant décor.”

Night Shade seemed disheartened. “What makes you think I’m capable of decorating this place?”

Michael answered with zero hesitation, “You’re from Canterlot. You’ve spent your life around high-end ponies and architecture. Sure, there is no hotel in Canterlot, nor in all of Equestria for that matter, but I firmly believe anypony who has spent their life in Canterlot has inherited its high-end classiness from simple prolonged exposure. As an entrepreneur, I don’t exactly have that kind of exposure.”

Night Shade did not reply.

“I hate to stereotype like that, but-”

“No, it’s okay,” Night Shade interjected. “I…many important ponies are from Canterlot. Twilight is from Canterlot. As is Hoity Toity. Your stereotype is…rude, but accurate. I’ve not seen many ponies from Canterlot who end up like the hobos this building would house.”

Silence.

“Very well,” said Michael, breaking the silence. “C’mon, let’s take a look around, see what else there is to see. Try to get an estimate on our total renovation cost, or our TRC. Keep that in your head, boy.”

Michael began to exit the theatre, Night Shade hopping down from the stage and joining him. They approached an elevator at the entrance to the vacant building. Michael confidently pressed the button to activate it. Nothing happened.

“Dead lift system, I see,” he mumbled. “That’s going to cost some.” He continued his walk. “C’mon, we’ll take the stairs.” He was referring to the grand staircase which, unfortunately, did not look so grand. Nearly every step was broken, trashed, or just plain absent, and the two unicorns had to watch their hoofing with every step they took.

“Where are we going?” Night Shade inquired.

“Anywhere,” Michael replied. “Anywhere with storage space. I’m hoping we can save a few bits by salvaging some old furniture that lousy owner forgot to take with him. At least temporarily.”

It was a painless, but definitely time-consuming search, as the ponies were unfamiliar with the layout of the hotel. But Michael and Night Shade finally saw their shadows be casted onto a door labeled STORAGE ROOM. Using his magic alone, Michael opened it promptly.

Inside there was indeed some dusty, old furniture: worn-out tables and chairs and unlabeled crates stacked against the back wall. Michael used the magic of his horn to utilize his prowess into a portable lantern, which he thus used to navigate the room until he found a switch that lit up the room from a single bulb which flickered once it was activated.

A groaning sound came from afar.

“What the heck was that?” inquired Night Shade.

“It sounds like somepony’s here,” Michael replied. He cleared his throat and fixed his eyes on the darkness. “Hello…is somepony there?...Please come forth…we mean you no harm.”

Among the shadows rose a strange-looking earth pony: pale-red, gaunt, and unpleasant to the eyes. He emerged from a large pile of crates cast away from the shadows of the dimly lit environment, and presented himself in the light. And he spoke like a mental patient.

“You are who?” asked he.

“My name is Michael and this is Night Shade. We are the new owners of this building. Better question is, who are you, and what are you doing here?”

“I am Yuri,” he answered with a rather gay look on his face, as if he had just been to a party hosted by Pinkie Pie. “I have home here.”

“Home?...You call this rust bucket your home?”

Yuri nodded. “I am not welcome by manager. For he feel I am trespasser. But is not so. I am home here – indeed, indeed – here I am home.”

Night Shade and Michael glanced at each other, both of them sharing the same facial expression of total amazement. They could barely understand what this crazy pony was attempting to say. It was here they noticed that the earth pony who claimed his name was Yuri had a cutie mark which was only a block. A single, yellow block on his flank.

“Listen here, good stranger-”

“Strange is right,” Night Shade interrupted.

“Shh!” hissed Michael. He turned back to Yuri. “You are welcomed here. We intend to convert this…this wasteland into a hotel for Ponyville and the rest of Equestria…would you be interested in having the honor of being our first tenant?”

“Is tenant I am to be!” Yuri exclaimed. He began jumping excitedly around the room for a few moment and then ducked behind his little shelter of crates and retrieved a rubber turtle, which he set in front of the unicorns and pointed to it enthusiastically. “It is turtle! He knows too much!”

The expression of perplextion shared between Michael and Night Shade grew all the more so that moment.

“He say his name is Frog. And he knows all of the things. For he is wisest. And he say I am to be rich and most famous.”

“Ah-huh…” Night Shade muttered.

“And he say I must find the Weevil.”

“The…Weevil?”

Yuri nodded with great enthusiasm. “Yes! The Weevil!”

“There are no bugs in Equestria, you blockhead!” Michael exclaimed. “Especially no weevils. The only destructive bug in Equestria are those parapsrites.”

“But – Weevil!”

It was clear that Michael and Night Shade were not going to make any conversational progress to the one called Yuri. He was clearly not listening, and was too deluded to coherently respond to whatever they said.

“Weevil! I must find!” Yuri ran past the two unicorns and disappeared into the ruins of the hotel.

“Well…I’ve had better first impressions, what about you?” Michael inquired his friend.

“I think a conversation with the biggest narcissist in Equestria would have gone better.”

They stared in silence as the earth pony exited the hotel. The sound of banging metal and the rustling of garbage was heard. A few moments later, Yuri returned with a large, strange creature, which did not look native to the Equestrian world. He set it on the ground at the entrance to the building and pointed to it.

“Weevil!” he hollered, his voice echoing through the empty halls to the ears of the owners.

Michael and Night Shade joined him downstairs. There they got a better look at the creature Yuri had retrieved from a rotting dumpster outside. It had two large, droopy eyes which looked like it had not slept in months, enormous ears, and two long, paper-thin arms with disproportionately massive hands and legs so deprived of minerals you could practically see bone. It was round, stout, and had no neck; rather its head looked completely and utterly glued to the rest of its body. Its skin looked unhealthy. And the clothing it wore was ugly and torn. It was nearly bald, and the few strands of hair remaining on its head were frail and disheveled.

“What the hell is that thing?” Night Shade whispered to Michael.

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” Michael mumbled in response. “I think it’s that Weevil thing he keeps blabbering about.”

“He clearly won’t listen to reason.”

“To heck with listening to reason – this guy won’t listen to English.”

“I think it is best we keep an eye on him.”

“How?”

“The turtle. Go get the turtle. And store it in an architecturally sound room. We’ll lock him in his room with the turtle.”

“What about the Weevil?”

“Fine. The Weevil and the turtle if he wants. Just as long as he gets in the room and stays there.”

“What if he tries to escape?”

“I doubt he will.”

Michael left for a few minutes and returned empty-hooved.

“Mister Yuri,” he began. “I placed your precious turtle in a suite where you can stay. We are in the process of remodeling, and we would very much appreciate it if you stayed out of our way. Your presence here will only impede on our effort. Would you like us to move your…Weevil there, too?”

“Weevil!” the stranger exclaimed.

“Yes, yes, Weevil.” Michael picked it up with his magic and began to carry the disgusting creature to the room he found for the strange pony.

“Weevil!” Yuri started following Michael. And Night Shade followed them both. Michael threw the Weevil into the room. Yuri ran in after it. Michael slammed the door shut and locked it. He swept his hoof across his forehead.

“The window’s boarded up. He won’t be getting out of there anytime soon.”

“What are we gonna do about him?” Night Shade inquired. “We can’t just lock him in that room for the rest of his life.”

Michael pondered that. “Or can we-”

“No, we can’t! Look, I know he may seem crazy and, well, insane. But he looks like a nice guy. Once we get a solid roster in here, we can let him out and socialize. Maybe being around many others who live here will kick him out of this insanity.”

“You realize that’s psychologically impossible, right?”

“I know; I’m trying to give the poor guy the benefit of the doubt.”

Michael sighed. “Look, whether or not he is insane, we can’t let him prowl the building. This is a rather dangerous place to be, and on top of that, we have work to do. He’ll just get in the way, and probably get himself killed in the process.”

Michael started off.

“Where are you going?”

“Where else? To the storage room where we found that blockhead. We still have furniture to move, you know.”

“Wait for me.”

Prologue

In my experiences, in all of the years I have spent on this earth, I know deep in my heart that no experience will be closer nor more vivid in my memory than the memories of Hotel Equestria which still linger in the depths of my mind. Every so often, I return to Ponyville to visit my old friends from back in the day, and though they are all pursuing their own lives nowadays, we all still promise one another to meet at the site. Every time I wander through the torched hallways and empty suites, I am reminded of what could never be, but thought once was possible; every vacant room a distant reminder not to repeat the unspeakable horrors of the great Hotel Equestria...