That Dirty, Nasty, Littly Filly

Memories of smiles and laughter plagued the conscious mind of the young tortured mare. She violently tossed her head into the pillow.

Her face cringed when an image came to her mind. Rainbow Dash; fluttering happily over a pond and peering casually at the yellow pony with bright magenta eyes that stuck out brilliantly against her blue coat and bright rainbow locks of mane. There was something soothing about the image. As if she was back with the person she loved so dearly. It was all so disturbingly real. Fluttershy clutched hard on the pillow and twitched her eyes tight. Rainbow Dash, in the vision, spoke to her saying hey flutters, I bet I can get you to fly this time all the way up to that cloud!. A blue hoof shot up to a cloud hanging at an unusually high elevation.

"Y-yes, Rainbow. I'll try my best this time." she mumbled softly in her bed without moving a muscle.

Well come on! And why do you sound so sad? Cheer up! I bet you'll do it this time, just wait and see.

A vibrant smile came across Rainbow Dash's face.

A few droplets of water fell from the pegususe's eyes. She smiled, laying in her bed.

"Ok, Rainbow Dash... I promise I'll try."

Rainbow Dash gave a light-hearted laugh and began to fly upwards. Her wings spread out to full length always impressed Fluttershy, making her blush with admiration. The cyan pegusus climbed elevation into the sky.

Fluttershy watched with a profound feeling of admiration, tender love, and soft respect for the pony she had fallen madly in love with engulfing her. It was as if she was in the presence of somepony she wasn't worthy to be near, let along be in a relationship with. A relationship? No, that was a sad understatement. That word gave no justice to the emotions and trust she had invested into Rainbbow Dash. So much love was there. It was more of an extreme humble gratitude to have the cyan pony with her at her side. There was no understanding of why Rainbow Dash would ever passably have the same feelings too. It baffled Fluttershy that anypony would see value in her. Let alone such an amazing pony as RD. In the mind of the gentle yellow mare, Rainbow Dash was the most amazing ponies alive.

Higher and higher, Rainbow Dash climbed into the sky with sounds of laughter and glee growing more and more faint. Fluttershy smiled somberly with her eyes full of tears and lips twitching up and down. The blue pegusus flyed farther and farther away until she and her laughter disappeared.

Eye lids slowly opened to leave tired soft blue eyes exposed. She was left staring into a dark empty room.

"I miss you, Rainbow Dash..." she spoke, her voice breaking up as she felt her heart sink. Fluttershy began to cry.

***

"What on earth is that little pony's problem?"

"I don't really know. She's been trying to fly up to that really high cloud all morning. I'm really starting to worry about her depression."

"Oh darling, she lost her lover. I would be shocked if she WASN'T depressed. But give her time..." Rarity spoke mechanically and bluntly. "And space" she added, a bit annoyed, when the white mare saw Twilight was positioning her body to trot over to Fluttershy.

"Oh... I guess you're right. Still, I can;t help but worry about her. Maybe I have a book on grief I can give her. You know, so she can read it on her own time and not feel too forced or anything." twilight accompanied her words with a forced smile.

"As you wish." Rarity clearly didn't buy the act. "I'm just telling you, it's best to show restraint and give her space. It would cause more harm then good if we tried to force help on Fluttershy." She spoke, giving a flick of her tail and looking up at the sky in an elegant pose.

It annoyed Twilight Sparkle that Rarity was being so thick headed. Fluttershy needed help. At least, that's what Twilight was sure of. Loosing someone is never easy. Sure, maybe twilight has never had anyone in her life actually die. But she could at least imagine what it was like, right? Rarity didn't know what she was talking about, and the young unicorn was convinced of this.

"But we have to tell her sometime." Twilight said, letting her frustration show in the pony's voice.

"Tell her what?"

"About what actually happened!"

"Quite! She'll hear. She doesn't need to know about that. It would hurt her far more to know." Rarity was clearly getting angry.

"And what, you're just going to let her think RD died in a weather accident? And keep a lie going on forever? What's wrong with you, Rarity? Don't you see how wrong this is!?"

Rarity sighed loudly. It looked to Twilight as if Rarity just flat out didn't want to have this convorsation. Tough cookies, because she did.

"Best to leave it as it is, my dear friend. Knowing a lover is dead is one thing. Knowing a lover was murdered is a totally diffident."

And with that, Rarity walked off, leaving twilight to stare at her bobbing, well groomed, tail.

***

Orange was the flame that scorched the tip of a white candle. With a zip and a click, the lighter was closed up with a pink hoof and placed carelessly on the table next to a small key. A pink glow engulfed the key and it rose from it's resting place into mid air about a foot from the table. Cadence felt a bead of sweat fall down from her raggedy and dirty mane. The box opened, and inside was a bottle half empty. The label on it said Sweet Apple Acres, Hard Cider with a picture of a green apple.

Any average pony on any average day would pour a small drink of the extremely potent adult beverage. However, the princess took the bottle between both hoofs and slammed huge gulp back, burning her thought almost instantly.

There were bags and dark spots under the alicorn's eyes. It looked like she hadn't had a good night sleep in days. In reality, it was more along the lines of months. Her pink coat was faded and poorly taken care of.

"Sweetheart?" from down the hall came an echo of a voice, her husband's voice. With an excited fearful panic, her horn lit up and the pink pony threw the bottle back in the box, locked it, and hid the box under her desk. She lifted herself from where she was and fluttered quickly to her bed and threw her body under the sheets.

"Y-yes, dear? I'm over here."

The door handle turned and in came a strong handsome stallion. The smile which emanated from his face died when bright blue eyes rested on his wife, who was in the bed on the other side of the room. The bed was against a cobblestone wall and it was elegantly decorated with a beautiful wood headboard.

"Cadence... you...still haven't taken a shower?"

Cadence looked away, ashamed.

"Well, no. There's nothing to do today, I don't see the reason to-"

"You've been saying that for days" Shining Armor raised both of his hoofs to drive the point, "And there's nothing to do because you keep turning down all invitations to make plans."

"I'm sorry, dear."

Silence filled every corner of the room. Shining Armor began to look at her with, what looked to Cadence, as either somber disrepair or sympathy. She couldn't tell.

"Look, there's a ball down in the castle court yard tonight. I think you should come with me. It will be really good for you. You might cheer up too." the stallion smiled tenderly.

"Well, I guess so." Cadence closed her eyes and rested her head on the pillow, "Just let me rest for now, sweetie, ok?"

"Well... alright." He turned his body around to leave the room and with a few steps, he was out the door. Before shunting the door completely, he added: "stay sober, alright."

Cadence gave no reply. She peered down at her right hoof and turned it over to look at her wrists. They were littered with cuts everywhere. Some diagonal, some horizontal. Some deep, some superficial. A few even had stitches in them. She would have to find a way to cover these up if she were to pretend to be a happy pony for the ball. Cadence was really good at pretending. Or rather, it was acting.

Celestia knew everything, though. It would be fruitless to try and look the grand princess Celestia in the eye and try to convince her that Cadence was happy. She once asked the white alicorn why she didn't give her any punishment after what had happen. This was the reply:

"You're a murderer, dear. I think having that on your conscience is torture enough."

The words of Celestia were devoid of emotion. They were just dark and ominous. But more then that, they spoke truth.