Pirates of The Equestrian
The Pirates Of Harmony
Previous ChapterChapter 9: The Pirates Of Harmony
"Where is she, blast it?!" growled Blackmane, as his crew began to set out on the beach of Scurvy Shoal. "I want that trouble makin' fishwife wrung dry!"
"Sorry, Captain, but she's swam off into the sea, she has." One of his lieutenants replied.
The captain sighed as he sat upon a shady rock with a bottle of cider. "Aye, no matter. We still got six more lasses to track down. Argh, confound these land-lubbin' mares; they be forcin' me to drink!" He uncorked the cider and chugged the warm aged liquid down his gullet, while his crew watched thirstily.
Suddenly, a familiarly annoying voice was heard from afar. "Avast ye stinkin' swabbies!"
Blackmane spat out the cider and looked in befuddlement down the right side of the shore. Around the bend appeared a sleek two masted schooner, cutting through the water as if it were running on steam. Aboard the speedy craft were the five wanted mares, dressed and armed in full pirate attire. Twilight stood triumphantly at the bowsprit, Fluttershy and Rarity rigged the sails, Applejack took control of the wheel, and Pinkie stood in the crow's nest slashing her sword wildly. A jolly roger waved in the wind from the main mast, depicting a smiling Rainbow Dash above two crossed versions of her cutie mark. On the side of the ship bore a name in white paint: Wave Dasher.
Grumbling with fury, Blackmane reboarded the Revenge and called his men to follow. "All hands, look alive!"
The Wave Dasher approached the Revenge until Twilight gave the order to stop. "Hoist the canvas!" The smaller ship stopped, facing the larger's bow for the mares to confront their destructive foe.
Blackmane eyed Twilight skeptically. "How the blazes did you restore that old hunk o' junk?!" he demanded.
"No fixer upper is impossible with a little magic." Twilight smiled proudly.
"Argh, hang your magic! I told ya before, lassie, yer magic won't have any affect on a blast from the past like me!"
"That's just it, Blackmane," explained Twilight. "We don't need magic to beat you. All it takes is a little something that you'll never understand: courage."
"What kinda crock is that?!"
"You think that you can just live forever off of other ponies' fear; but it doesn't work that way. When you take away that fear, you're just another mortal who can be sunk like any old ship. And that's just what we plan to do! We're going to send you back where you came from, Blackmane, by beating you at your own destructive game. And as long as we have friends who will stick by us through it all, there is nothing that can scare us! We're not afraid of you anymore!"
"You tell him, Twi!" cheered Applejack along with the others.
"Har har har har har! A real thouchin' speech ya gave there, missy!" Blackmane cackled. "But have you forgotten? I'm the greatest pirate who ever sailed these waters! It don't matter what ya do to try and sink me! I'll have ya droppin' to the briny bottom, before ya can say FIRE FORWARD CANNONS!" Immediately, a pair of large cannons poked out from the forecastle of the Revenge and fired simultaneously upon the schooner.
"Applejack!" called Twilight as the cannonballs hurdled down towards the deck of the Dasher.
In a split second reaction, Applejack jumped down from the wheel post and mule kicked both projectiles, deflecting them back toward the Revenge. The two pirates who fired screamed before their own ammo knocked them back through the lower deck, causing a loud crash heard from above. Blackmane growled with rage.
"Sinking us in shallow water?" Twilight shook her head mockingly. "That's real low, Blackmane, even for you."
"Boom! Try to sink us now, Stinkmane!" Pinkie taunted from the crow's nest and gave a raspberry.
Blackmane gritted his teeth but retained his composure. "Yer quite right, unicorn. A real pirate knows how to fight face to face. Men, prepare to board!"
"Rarity, fly the main sail!" ordered Twilight. "Applejack, take us hard to starboard!"
Without hesitation, the Dasher steered away from Blackmane's ship and out into deeper water in order to escape a landing party.
"After them, ya putrid sea rats!" commanded Blackmane.
Since the Queen Chrysalis's Revenge was heavier and slower, the mares managed to put a great deal of distance from them, moving away from the island. They now had plenty of room for a naval clash.
"Alright, Applejack, hard to port." Twilight said. "We'll open fire on them from the starboard side. Pinkie, ready the cannons!"
"Oh boy! I've been waiting for this part!" Pinkie grinned with glee as she sped out of the crow's nest and down to the gun deck. She primed the line of cannons as the Dasher rotated for her to face the enemy vessel. When the Revenge was finally in view, Twilight gave the order.
"FIRE!"
"Eat cannon fodder ya scalawags!" Pinkie shouted and lit all eight cannon on the starboard side.
The guns boomed with a floor-shaking blast sending a hail of cannonballs hurdling toward the Revenge. The larger ship made an attempt to turn right to return fire, but that only made them a bigger target. The cannonballs rained on the barque causing considerable deck damage and even crippled the fore mast. But Blackmane was far from beaten. As expected, the Revenge retaliated with a barrage of cannonballs aiming for the stern of the Dasher.
"Applejack, starboard again!" ordered Twilight. "We can't let them damage our rudder!"
Quickly, Applejack made another hard right, pointing their ship closer to Blackmane's. The barrage grazed over them, tearing holes in the top sails and chipping off the tips of the masts. Fluttershy ducked in fright.
"Eep! It's so...loud!"
As they now sped toward the Revenge, Twilight decided to repeat the tactic. "Pinkie, ready the port cannons! Applejack, a little more to starboard!"
"Oh this is so barbaric!" whined Rarity. "I think I'm getting gunpowder on my fur! I need a bath!"
With the port side of the Dasher now facing the Revenge, Pinkie fired another hail of ammo at the enemy ship's stern. It seemed that the Revenge would be put out of commission for good. But the cannonballs only did minimum damage to the stern as it seemed to have been reinforced with iron, sending some of the ammo bouncing off into the water.
Then, instead of more cannon fire, the Revenge responded with four sail-driven jolly boats lowered off from its sides. Applejack quickly steered away from the enemy, but the tiny shuttle craft proved fast enough to catch up with them, even with gangs of battle ready pirates aboard. The landing party approached the Dasher closer and closer.
"They're gainin' up on us, Twi!" shouted Applejack.
"There's no use, trying to shoot them off." Twilight grimaced. "We'll have to fight them when they come aboard."
Fluttershy whimpered. "I can't fight! Can't we just hide?!"
Suddenly, a miraculous voice came from the water over the side of the ship. "Don't worry, guys! I got them covered!"
"Shelly?" Twilight peered over the starboard. "Where have you been?"
"Oh I just convinced a friend of mine to help us out." She smiled knowingly.
The pirates cackled as their jolly boats began to surround the Dasher. Just then, a humongous shape rocketed out of the water and crushed one of the flimsy craft, leaving the pirates onboard nowhere to be seen. The rest of the landing party looked and screamed in horror as a great white shark returned to pick them off one by one. Twilight covered Fluttershy's eyes and recognized the aquatic killer as the same shark that Shelly saved them from, when they were trekking on the ocean floor.
"Sweet sassafras, Shelly!" smiled Applejack. "That was amazin'!"
"And brutal!" added Rarity with a bit of disgust.
"It's all about having friends in the right places." Shelly said as the shark appeared next to her, panting happily. "Who's a good boy? Yes you are! Who's Mommy's good boy?" she petted the ferocious predator, who nuzzled her lovingly.
"Aww, he's so adorable!" smiled Fluttershy.
"I guess if sharks were ever cute." Twilight added.
"Yer not givin' up on me now, are ya lassies?!" yelled Blackmane, as his ship approached them from behind. "It'll take a lot more than a shark to clean out me crew! Prepare to be boarded!"
"Shelly, I'm not sure your friends can do much good on deck." Twilight said.
"Not to worry, Twilight," replied Shelly. "I have another big guy on the way. I'll do what I can for now."
"Thanks. Well girls, it looks like we'll have to brawl with these pirates after all."
"I can't do it! I'm too scared!" shrieked Fluttershy.
Applejack grabbed and shook her. "Fluttershy, you need to pony up! This is war, and we gotta win! Are you gonna let these sea rascals terrorize all the poor little sea critters?"
Fluttershy snapped out of her frightened state and realized just what she was fighting for. "Not the little fishies!" she suddenly glared with seriousness.
With no more time to run, the Dasher was joined at the port side by the Revenge. The remaining crew laid down gangplanks and rushed aboard the smaller vessel, armed with cutlasses, sabers and daggers. The blood thirsty pirates circled the mares once again with devious grins and crazed eyes. Twilight huddled with the others, facing down their murderous enemies.
"Um, Twilight," whispered Applejack. "Do we even know how to sword fight?"
"Ooh, I did play Peter Pony in my high school play!" replied Rarity.
"I hate to break this to you, Rarity, but this isn't exactly Neverland." Twilight said.
Just then, Pinkie jumped in front of her friends and scowled at the pirates, this time equipped with two swords in hoof. "Put up yer blades, ya barnacle suckin' lily livers!"
"Let's put these sea hags in their place, boys!" a lieutenant shouted as the others charged into battle.
With surprising speed, Pinkie bolted into the gaggle of pirates, swinging her swords in all directions like a blender on hooves. Left and right, she knocked out her foes and sent some of them careening into the water where their lack of swimming would be their demise.
Over by the jib mast, Twilight levitated a discarded sword as three pirates approached her.
"Ah! A floating sword!" cried the first pirate.
"It must be witchcraft!" the second one gasped.
The third slapped the other two. "You stupid sods! It's just that purple unicorn usin' her bloody magic! But she's got a lot to learn about the steel blade!"
With a cocky smile, Twilight levitated nine more swords and pointed them all at the pirates like darts.
"Sweet mother of Celestia!" the third pirate panicked. "She's gone mad! Abandon ship!" The bumbling pirates cowardly jumped over the side, taking their chances to avoid the unicorn's overpowering magic.
"How's that for witchcraft?" grinned Twilight.
In the middle of the deck, Applejack had no problem beating the pirates senseless with her own hooves, giving them swift bucking kicks as if they were ordinary apple trees. "Fifteen! Sixteen! Seventeen! Who needs swords anyhow?"
On the starboard side, another separate group of bandits crowded Rarity, who only lied on the deck innocently.
"Oh please have mercy! You wouldn't harm a poor little lost filly like me, would you?" she teased with glassy eyes and a quivering lip.
The pirates suddenly became smitten by her alluring, filly-like pose; but it was all a reuse. A group of sea bass suddenly flew out of the water and clamped their mouths around the distracted pirates heads, sending them in a confused panic stumbling overboard. Rarity leaned over the edge of the ship and brohoofed Shelly.
"Not bad for a land pony!" the merpony said.
"You still owe me those pearls, darn it!" blurted Rarity.
But as the brave mares defended the deck of the Dasher, the gangplanks were still crowded with charging pirates. It seemed as if the hoard was endless.
"Oh boy, it looks like this crew is bigger than I thought!" worried Twilight, as she levitated parcels of cargo into some pirates.
"Aye, they be swarmin' like maggots to a sea monster's carcass!" added Pinkie, still on her sword fighting tirade.
"Pinkie, yer pirate impression is startin' to really creep me out." Applejack said.
Suddenly, amidst the chaos onboard the Dasher, a cannon shot was heard from the aft deck to the right of the wheel. Two cannonballs linked by a chain spun wildly through the air toward the pack of pirates and swept a good ten to twenty of them off the deck and into the drink. The deadly projectile even hit the bow of the Revenge knocking the damaged foresail completely off its base. With the sound of splitting wood shrieking, the foremast toppled over and collapsed onto the taller main mast, tearing the sails to shreds, breaking off the beams, and putting both masts of the Revenge well out of commission.
Everypony ceased fighting for a moment and looked up to see Fluttershy standing on the aft deck next to a smoking cannon with a look of rage in her eyes.
"Stay away from the fishies, you big smelly bilge rats!!!" she hollered at the pirates.
Her friends stared with shock at their once peaceful ally. "Fluttershy, that was incredible!" beamed Twilight.
"Oh gosh, was that too mean?" Fluttershy asked, reverting back to her nervous self.
With their ship now critically damaged, the pirates seemed to freeze on the Dasher, as a feeling of dread suddenly overcame them. Then, a loud and enraged growl was heard from onboard the Revenge as Blackmane appeared armed to the teeth, with shoulder straps filled with loaded pistols. He stomped over the gangplank with burning black rope stuck under his cockade hat, causing smoke to billow around him and giving him a demonic entrance. The outraged captain gritted his yellow stained teeth and stared down the ponies with hate-filled bloodshot eyes.
"I've had just about enough of ye trouble makin', land lubbin', thorn-in-me-side harlots!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs. "If I have to send ya to Discord's Locker, then I'll damn well do it meself!" he pointed two pistols at the mares and pulled back the flintlock hammers.
"But Cap'n, there's no need for that!" urged one of the lieutenants. "We can easily capture them! I swear!"
Blackmane only responded by shooting the lieutenant in the chest. The pirate withered away into nothing but dust, as he had been when he died three hundred years ago. The mares watched in terror as the ruthless pirate captain turned on one of his own without a single hint of remorse.
"Yer next, sea hags!" sneered Blackmane as he grabbed another primed pistol.
"Twilight, what do we do now?" asked Applejack as the five of them backed into each other. "We can't escape from bullets!"
"Just let me think!" Twilight began to sweat, knowing that this could very well be their downfall.
But just when the battle against Blackmane seemed to be drawing to a close, a hulking mass slowly rose out from the water a medium distance away from the Revenge. Out of the bubbling wake came what appeared to be a floating fortress of iron which was suddenly realized by everypony as a submarine, with a single large blast mark on its conning tower. Both the crew of the Dasher and the Revenge stared baffled as the diesel warship surfaced completely. That's when a spunky blue pegasus poked her head out from the hatch on top of the conning tower, wearing a white navy cap and a battle-ready expression.
"Smile you son of a seahorse!"
Immediately, a loud clank was heard and an oblong shape was conjured from the front of the sub. The torpedo created a ripple on the surface as it rocketed toward the Queen Chrysalis's Revenge. In one ear-shattering instant, the pirate ship burst into flames in a massive explosion, sending wood and iron spewing off every which way. The Dasher rocked in its spot violently from the repercussions of the blast, knocking mostly everypony off their hooves and even sending some more pirates into the ocean. Those who remained held onto whatever they could, including Blackmane who watched his prized vessel with shock and sorrow.
"ME SHIP!"
The once dreaded Queen Chrysalis's Revenge burned like a bonfire as it slowly slipped beneath the silent blue. The fear that had gripped many an innocent vessel was now disintegrating before its own captain's eyes.
Then, Blackmane's eye was caught by the blue pegasus who leaped from the submarine and soared into the air hovering above the Dasher.
"You're landlocked, Blackmane!" grinned Rainbow Dash, her wings now free from her chain bindings.
"Rainbow Dash! You're alright!" cheered Twilight with the rest of the mares.
"We thought you were a gonner, girl!" added Applejack.
"It's gonna take a lot more than some lucky shot from a washed up pirate to sink me!" gloated Rainbow.
Blackmane glowered again and barked at her. "There's now way ya could've survived that blast! I saw that tin can o' yers sink before my very eyes!"
"Um, DUH! It's a submarine, dude! It's supposed to do that!" Rainbow mocked. Then she pulled a navy saber out from a sheath around her hip. "You may be a master on the sea, Blackmane; but you can never defeat me in my own element: the air!"
With a roaring rush of wind, Rainbow swooped down toward the deck of the Dasher and dive-bombed the remaining crew. Before they could even react, the pirates were picked off few by few, as the blue blur knocked them into the drink at lightning speed. The other mares cheered her on as she wiped out the last of Blackmane's crew. After barely half a minute, Rainbow landed on the top beam of the main mast, standing triumphantly without a scratch.
"Way to go, Rainbow!" jumped Twilight. "Only you could have pulled that off so fast!"
"Was there ever any doubt?" she boasted. "And I can't believe you guys named a ship after me! That's so cool! You guys really are the best friends ever!"
"They'll be the best dead friends ever!" Blackmane rasped as he quickly climbed the rope ladder up the main mast to face her. He held his own large cutlass in his hoof. "Let's settle this once and for all! If yer pirate enough to duel me!"
Rainbow pointed her sword at him. "Buddy, I'm more pirate than you ever were! En garde!"
With that, the two began their climatic duel, clashing swords in vengeance. The ponies on deck watched from below with anticipation. Rainbow made swift jabs and swipes trying to land a clean hit, but Blackmane blocked every potential blow. The disgruntled pirate hacked and slashed erratically, but Rainbow was fast enough to dodge the razor sharp blade. The pirate and the rebel pegasus seemed to be evenly matched as they showed no sign of tiring out.
Suddenly, Blackmane swiftly pulled a pistol from his strap and fired at Rainbow. Fortunately, the pegasus jumped out of the way as the bullet whizzed past her and hovered above the beam.
"Hey! No dirty tricks!" she glared.
"Since when did a pirate ever abide by the rules?!" mocked Blackmane who then fired another pistol.
But no matter how much ammo he used, Rainbow was still able to anticipate his blasts and dodge the bullets at every turn. "That's it, I'm tired of this mast!" She then did a backwards loop and rammed into Blackmane, knocking him down onto the deck.
But it did nothing to injure the stubborn pirate. They continued to battle on the deck, colliding swords in a blur of steel, with Rainbow swooping from here and there on her wings. Eventually, Blackmane managed to bat her out of the air, and send her rolling to the deck and losing her weapon. He then pinned her down and raised his sword to make the final blow.
"Never forget, lassie, I'm the greatest pirate who ever lived!" Blackmane smiled devilishly. But before he could strike, he was pulled off of Rainbow by a mysterious hoof. He looked caught off guard as Captain Nemo held him by the collar.
"A true sailor never harms a lady." Nemo swung his hoof and punched Blackmane clear across the face, causing him to fall to the deck, momentarily dazed. He then helped his partner up. "He's all yours, Miss Dash."
Rainbow called without a moment to lose. "Pinkie! Sword!"
"Which one?" asked Pinkie. "I have long ones, short ones, straight ones, curved ones, swords with gold on them, swords with jewels, daggers, axes, clubs, hooks, boxing gloves-"
"Darn it, Pinkie, just give me the sword I dropped!" shouted Rainbow.
"Aye aye!" Pinkie quickly tossed her the navy saber.
Rainbow caught her sword and lunged forward to eliminate Blackmane. The pirate on his back desperately rolled over to try to avoid the strike, but it only resulted in his front leg being sliced off, and withered away.
"GAAAAAAHHHH!"
Pointing her sword down, Rainbow stood over the incapacitated Blackmane. "Any last words, you trigger happy creep?"
"Greatest pirate!...Greatest pirate!" Blackmane only yelled in delusion, as he writhed from the pain in his severed leg.
"Rainbow Dash!" called Fluttershy from aside.
Rainbow looked to see her ferrying the others onto the Barracuda. "We need to go! Now!"
"But what about him?!" she argued.
"He's already had enough, Rainbow." Nemo called with a proud smile. "You've very well beaten him."
After a moment of hesitation, Rainbow looked down at the fading pirate captain one last time. Then, she took off and joined the others onboard the Barracuda. "Why did we have to leave the ship?" she asked.
Shelly surfaced beside the submarine. "Because an old friend of mine has finally arrived!"
The eight ponies watched as a titanic figure loomed in from behind the Dasher. A shadow overlapped the floating vessel, cast by an enormous sea creature. Rainbow's jaw dropped as a giant sea turtle shot out of the water.
"Super Tank?!"
With a low-pitched grumble, Super Tank landed upon the schooner which was equal to his size, and crushed the Dasher in one gargantuan belly flop. A raging splash spilled out all around from where the Dasher once floated, creating a wave which soaked the ponies onboard the rocking submarine. All that was left was a debris field of shattered wood and barrels floating silently on the surface. The tattered old vessel, which lay abandoned in a dark cavern for three hundred years, was finally put to rest, along with the memory of its former captain. After a brief minute of silence, Super Tank finally poked his head out next to the Barracuda and smiled at his friends. Then, he opened his gaping mouth and let out a deafening belch, spewing turtle spit all over them. One object tumbled out of the reptile's mouth; a black cockade hat laced with once burning rope. The curse of Blackmane was finally over.
"Sorry about that, Rainbow Dash," said Shelly. "I already summoned him a while ago and he really wanted to help."
"Are you kidding? I'll take an awesome giant turtle over a rickety old ship any day!" Rainbow nuzzled her lumbering reptilian friend. "Did he taste good?! Did that nasty old pirate taste yummy, Super Tank?!" She was met with a very moist lick from Super Tank's enormous tongue.
"I guess that's it!" smiled Twilight. "Blackmane is finally gone for good!" Everypony cheered with her over their momentous victory. "And we didn't even need Princess Celestia to tell us to do anything!"
"I'm so relieved we were able to vanquish that vile cretin after all!" beamed Rarity.
"What do ya talkin' about?!" glowered Applejack. "All you did was flirt with those pirates to distract 'em! At least I actually put up a fight."
"Don't forget I risked my life in front of a giant squid just to save our flanks!" she rebutted, sticking her tongue out.
"Hey, I just noticed something!" Fluttershy said elated. "I haven't gotten sea sick once on this whole journey! Girls, you're looking at a brand new Flutter- BLAAAAAGH!" she immediately vomited over the side of the sub. "...Oh well, it was fun while it lasted."
"That was epic!" jumped Pinkie. "I actually go to be in an all-out pirate battle!"
"I know right?!" added Rainbow. "We took that old wannabe down!"
"You certainly proved to be a real fighter on the sea, Miss Dash," said Nemo. "And that is why I am making you a Junior Naval Officer!" he gave her a white sailor's cap with a blue anchor symbol emblazoned.
Rainbow accepted the rank with a happy salute. "Aye aye, Cap'n!"
"So where will you go now, Captain Nemo?" asked Rarity.
"Well, now that my conscience is clear, I figure I might as well return to the navy." He pondered. "On the other hoof, I suppose I can wait a little longer while I explore the majestic depths of the ocean! I'm certainly not getting any younger. I may even visit the merponies."
"I'm sure we'll be happy to welcome you, Captain." Shelly saluted.
"Thank you once again for all your help, Shelly." Twilight said. "It's nice knowing we have allies in the ocean."
"My people will thank you for protecting our kingdom from Blackmane's destruction." Shelly replied. "In fact, I think I'll actually like being a princess; my father will certainly appreciate it. But I'll make sure to visit you guys by the coast whenever I can!"
"Oh yeah! Underwater party with the fish ponies!" cheered Pinkie.
"I'll try not to take Pinkie's comments to heart." Shelly rolled her eyes. "Ooh! I almost forgot. A couple of parting gifts! Excuse me a second." She dove under the water and returned within a moment, carrying a silk bag. "This is for you, Rarity!"
Rarity took the bag and peeked inside. Her face instantly lit up with amazement. "Pearls! Beautiful, sparkling, dazzling, authentic pearls!" She admired the smooth shining white orbs, overjoyed. "Oh thank you ever so much, Shelly!" Rarity then grabbed Shelly out of the water and kissed both her cheeks over and over before plopping her back in.
Shelly rubbed her face with slight discomfort. "Well, I'm a mermare of my word! Alright, I better swim off. But I'll leave Fluttershy with a few more friends of mine. So long, everypony! And please...stay dry!"
With a final exchange of waving hooves, Shelly leaped into the air with a fantastic triple flip and slipped beneath the water, with a clean splash-less entry. Immediately, a foursome of dolphins poked their heads from the surface and squeaked happily.
"Dolphins!" beamed Fluttershy, who flew out to join them in the water. The friendly aquatic mammals nuzzled and licked her face. She had finally gotten what she wanted, since that fateful night on the cruise ship. "Best vacation ever!"
Epilogue
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am proud to report that the scourge of the dreaded Blackmane's return has been put to an end, before he could do any major harm to Equestria. If there is anything that I have gained from this experience, it's that courage can be the ultimate weapon against any foe, no matter how dangerous. And as long as you loyal friends by your side who refuse to quit, there is nothing to fear; not even an undead pirate that we happened to come across because Pinkie Pie set us adrift from the cruise you gave us in the first place. I guess it was really a blessing in disguise. Plus I suppose every little pony wants to play pirate once in a while! For now, my friends and I are simply enjoying the majesty of the sea. Don't worry about us, our cruise is going just splendidly!
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
"Hey Twilight!" called Rainbow from atop the palm trees. "Quit writing and come enjoy the sunset!"
Twilight gathered with her ragtag crew to look off into the ocean's horizon, as Super Tank ferried them toward the sunset which put a close to a long and rewarding adventure.
"Yargh, maties!" rallied Pinkie Pie. "How's about a good old fashioned sea shanty?! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH...Rock the boat! Don't rock the boat baby!"
"Rock the boat! Don't rock the boat baby! Rock the boat! Don't rock the boat baby! ROCK THE BOOOAAAT!!!"
THE END
