The Scholar's Laments

by Allsmiles

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 5406

The works of the Scholar, examining the world of Equestria Divided and his own sanity in the process.

The Scholar has removed himself from the world of Equestria as best he is able, to do the only thing left to him to do. Record events and interpret them as he is able. He hides away while Equestria rips itself apart, and watches and records, as bitterness rips at his heart... Will he be able to stay hidden, recording for future generations? Will he become an agent for the Rebels, sending them information and aid? Will he turn a traitor to Celestia and himself and side with one of the Houses? Or will his rage and sorrow consume him, and move him to take action, action that he knows would go against Celestia's wishes... Whatever he chooses, he will record it for future generations... And they will know a record of folly.

Set in PoorYorick's Equestria Divided
My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro and was created by Lauren Faust and probably others who we don't know the names of. I make no money from this, please don't sue me.

Published 2013-03-29 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-28 13:41:39 UTC

A Scholars Sorrow

MY SORROW

I know not how many tears I have shed over the loss of the Royal Sisters. Princess Celestia, our guide and guard for millennia, and Princess Luna, newly returned after all these centuries, only to be snatched away from us again, the lessons she had to teach stolen from us the moment we were granted them… It’s not fair… it’s just not fair.

The disappearance of the Royal Sisters weighs heavy on my heart, but it was the treachery of the Elements that truly broke my spirit. They failed us… Celestia’s chosen, The Elements of Harmony, called to protect, called to preserve the order of light and love within the realm of Equestria, the very group that was meant to keep our land together, our people safe, have failed in their duty… Not by any flaw of skill, but the most repugnant flaw of character, the active and energetic embrace of treachery… Treachery to us, the people of this land, Unicorn, Earth Pony, and Pegasus alike. All of us were Celestia’s citizens, all of us her chosen… But no longer.

Racial divides long thought extinguished have been reawakened, and for what? For a claim to superiority over this land, for the purpose of creating stronger internal factional ties, for manufacturing an enemy during this time of crisis? How do they justify these atrocities to themselves… Do they even care anymore? … I don’t think they do. Not about everypony. Just their minions, nipping at their heels.

Their betrayal goes beyond how they betrayed us. The treachery extends to a betrayal of Celestia, Luna, and even themselves… There was chaos in the wake of Celestia and Luna’s disappearance, and that was unavoidable. It could have been mitigated however, and righted, by the Elements working together as one as they were taught to do, as Celestia commanded them to do. But no… instead of working for the good of all, they rejected Celestia’s teachings, her doctrine, her code, in favor of their own ends and means, embracing madness and hatred, and tearing apart all of Equestria in the process. We trusted them, because Celestia trusted them, and they proved themselves so many times… how could they have done this to us? Betrayed us now when it mattered the most? … How could they…

Twilight Sparkle… They all bear great and horrible evil within them now, evil that all the blood they spill only stains darker, but she… she was the start, and the one who bears the heaviest guilt upon her. For she was Celestia’s student, she was called upon more than any of other Element to continue Celestia’s legacy… And she has done so in name but in spirit, none could have strayed farther from Celestia’s edict. Even as she trumpets their names she defies the commandments of the Royal Sisters with every breath, every mad magical experiment, every abomination crafted, every Pegasus or Earth Pony enslaved, everything her hoof touches is stained by her bigotry and tainted doctrine… She started the downfall into madness that claimed this land… Creating an army of racial supremacists to serve her ends, twisting everything the Sisters ever taught… but it was the choice of the others themselves to embrace the fall, instead of trying to salvage it.

One embraced her fall by seeking profit and profit alone, one abandoned us for the wild and the savage and draws others there to embrace barbarism… Another has her head lost in the past, claiming to fight for the Sisters and yet establishing a “Dominion” based upon the Pegasi race. Still another has given into her rage and fear, and now trumpets a thundering army of hatred and paranoia across our lands. And the last… who can say if that is even her or not, who is it truly that now commands lunacy given form, spreading like a contagion across these lands…

Equestria was my home. I loved it with all my heart. But now it is lost, ruined, to the point of no return, not because of the loss of the Royal Sisters, but because of the failure of these Elements of Harmony to do as they were called upon… Instead of maintaining Harmony and Balance they have fractured, betrayed their Elements, betrayed their selves, and betrayed their Princesses… Equestria was my home… and I can no longer live within it. I have retreated from it, with a sorrow filled heart, and now watch as the fools tear my home apart, waiting for the end…

I know it is coming. I know that Celestia, that Luna, were our protectors against the darker things… and though they claim otherwise it is abundantly clear that the Elements are no longer protectors… they are now the creatures they were supposed to protect us from. In times past they stood against those who would threaten harmony, but now they are the ones who tear it asunder. What are we to do when Equestria is ruled by evil? Ruled by these grasping, wrenching, covetous traitors?! … Equestria is never going to be Equestria again. They have destroyed my home, and now seek to build their own empires from the scrap.

Who will win? The Moon and Star with their racial bigotry and perverted interpretations of the Royal doctrine? House Everfree, with its ever-expanding forests and wild ponies seeking to plunge us back into barbarism? House Whitegold, the house of spies and backstabbers who care only for profit? Perhaps House Stormwing will succeed in creating their glorious “Pegasi Dominion” and turn Equestria into a military state. Maybe the Earthborn will overrun the rest of Equestria, taking by force what they have no right to own, and permanently ripping magic from Equestria with the horns of the unicorns… Or maybe it will be the Cult of Laughter, spreading like the contagion they are to eat away the last morsels of sanity that dwell in Equestria, devouring their host, and plunging it into a giggling Tartarus.

To know which side will be victorious would take a far wiser stallion than I. But though I flee, I cannot ignore the changing tides within my home, and so will use my talents of sight, interpretation, and research, to record what occurs, as best as I’m able. I will craft a record of folly, arrogance, fear, and hatred… A record that I pray, may tell those who someday walk on our ashes, how we failed, and how we were failed by those we trusted… Oh Celestia… Forgive me the hatred I have in my heart for those whom you once held dear… For I have no love left unto them… And no hope at all left for the home they have ripped from me…

A Pony's Loss

MY LOSS

There is a certain kind of solace to be found in my work. I wish that I could lose myself in it completely, it keeps me busy and my mind and heart occupied. As painful as the observation of ponies whose lives are actively being destroyed by the pride and arrogance of the Houses is, it is less torturous than confronting the demons that dwell within me… That rule my nights and my unfocused thoughts…

I can barely sleep for the nightmares that these demons bring to me… The dreams are frequent, recurring, and terrifying. In them I see my wife, Cherry Cream, and my son Free Cider as a little colt, bound in chains in the middle of a blazing bonfire, burning trees all around. Their manes blaze and their skins crackle and burn… They scream and fire catches in their throats, consuming them, turning them to skeletal figures, reducing them to ash… In the background, I hear laughter, a loud maniacal laugh as the flames writhe, and see the five traitor Elements standing around the bonfire, each of them with a chain in their mouth, the chains that bound my wife and Colt, each of them burning separate from the blaze, fire licking at their coats as well… And then I wake up, usually in a cold sweat, and get back to work.

But it is hard to focus after such dreams… My wife and colt are on my mind often now… While I was moving I was able to push them to the side, but now… Perhaps it is my guilt and shame that keep them burning in my nightmares and even in my waking hours so that they consume my every thought, the guilt and shame eating away at my heart, the thought, the idea that I might have… … that I could have… … … I suppose it’s best if I start at the beginning, to voice the form of this woe.

I met Cherry Cream a long time ago, while I was still a young stallion apprenticed under one of the Royal Scholars in Canterlot. She was the stunning young mare outside the Royal Equestria Library, running an ice-cream stand. She was also an Earth Pony, something I didn’t even think of at the time, something that didn’t become important to me until much later… I noticed her from the first day I spent at the Library, but avoided her for weeks because of my shyness. When I finally worked up the courage to buy ice-cream from her I made an awkward pass at conversation and proceeded to drop my purchase all over my hooves. She gave me a napkin and another free ice-cream for no extra charge, and she laughed so beautifully that I came back the next day, and the day after that, buying ice-cream from her, for really no reason than to have an excuse to interact with her.

It became a regular pattern. I would spend a bit for my regular order and we would speak. Briefly at first, as I was unable to get more than a single sentence out correctly when talking with her before I made a royal mess of my language. But as we continued to speak I slowly gained confidence, and was able to hold prolonged conversations with her. In the process of conversing with her I found that she was a truly intelligent and optimistic mare, full of great potential, and I couldn’t have been more enamored with her than when I listened to what she had to say. Her physical beauty and optimistic energy may have been what attracted me to her initially; however it was her positive spirit mixing with an active mind that caused me to fall in love.

I believe I dropped my ice-cream once more, stuttered heavily like an idiot, and sweat profusely when one day at her stand she asked me out on a date. Somehow she managed to guide me to suggesting a proper place and time, and then giving her assent, she cheerfully stated that she would look forward to seeing me later. I was immensely nervous to say the least however the date went… well. And so did the one after that. And the next three. And then the one after that… that one went very well indeed… …

Our courtship was a joyful one. I have many wonderful memories of it… When I finally got the courage up to propose, she gladly accepted, and we kissed and proceeded to- … well, we kissed. Engaged we set a wedding date, and as could have been expected, fate saved all the disaster usually accompanied with dating and proposal for the marriage day.

The cake showed up late, as did the priest, and there was a surprise unscheduled and accidental rainstorm on the day of our wedding that we’d scheduled for a nice sunny day in the Canterlot Gardens. The Wonderbolts quickly took care of the problem, however by then we were all thoroughly drenched, my tuxedo and her dress ruined. My best pony lost the ring, and spent the whole wedding searching for it so I forgave him the slip-up, and her father showed up to give his daughter away inebriated on hard cider. However when she grabbed me and kissed me, after insisting that the priest skip to the end due to constant practically nonsensical interruptions, the things that went wrong during the wedding no longer mattered, and only that one moment did… and we were married.

We spent many happy years together… Her ice-cream business expanded and grew into a respectable shop in Canterlot, and I became a full-fledged Royal Equestria Scholar. We had a beautiful little foal, Free Cider, an Earth Pony like his mother who grew up into a fine young colt over the years. Eventually I became the Chief Royal Equestria Scholar for the Princess, an honor higher than any I could have hoped for. I was there when Princess Luna returned to us, in Canterlot, and was one of the many who aided in the development and structuring of her rule upon her return. I was even there while Twilight Sparkle was studying beneath Celestia… I didn’t meet her much actually; however the few times I did I found her to be a rather clever, excited, and energetic little filly. She reminded me of myself in some ways; I recognized certain mental patterns that we shared, as well as a social awkwardness. For the most part I was simply background in her training, an occasional source of useful knowledge. Celestia had taken her under her wing to teach her personally, the most skilled and gracious of teachers one could ever have hoped for, as well as the highest honor, and highest trust, ever bestowed in the history of Equestria. And that is not an exaggeration, Twilight Sparkle had more honors and more of Celestia’s ear than any pony ever before her, as great a ruler as Celestia was. That she betrayed that…

In any event, Celestia gave me an assignment before she disappeared, an important one, that I felt honor and duty-bound to see through. The Princess’s assignment was… something best left unstated, even in these private logs at the moment. Suffice to say like all things it was for the good of Equestria, and unlike the wickedness of the Houses distorted visions, it was an undertaking of pure good, without compromising the values that led us to prosperity for so many years. However it required that I stay away from my home for a very long time, away from my wife and colt… It hurt being separated from them, but I took solace in that what I was doing was for their good. And then… Well, Celestia vanished. Luna as well… and everything changed.

I didn’t return at first, though my heart wept. My assignment was too important to leave on the matter of heart-ache alone. However, as I got word of increasing political instability in Canterlot, I abandoned the project that the Princess had entrusted to me, and rushed home. I do not feel guilty about this… I believe that she would have agreed with my choices in that situation. I arrived just in time to see what was happening… My unique skill-set allowed me to predict the course of events from the present data with close to perfect accuracy. And even then I had trouble believing what was going on… my mind required sensible, rational behavior that made sense within the rules of the world’s structure, and I still have trouble understanding the irrationality of other ponies, why they would behave in such a reprehensible and idiotic manner… But if there was anything I’d learned over time it was not to ignore the empirical evidence for how I thought the world should be structured. I knew that Canterlot would quickly become a dangerous place for Earth Ponies and Pegasi. And so I got my family out.

For a brief time we wandered, however after examining evidence, I brought us down to Appleloosa, and we lived there even as the Houses split and the Earthborn formed. We became part of the Earthborn, and lived there peacefully, safely… I saw the looks some ponies gave me, but my wife and colt were safe down there, protected. I was used to being alone, ostracized by others due to certain inefficiencies in my personality geared towards handling social situations, and the only thing I needed was the love of my family. I would be fine if they were fine.

I should have seen it coming… I continue to tell myself that. I didn’t see the evidence because I didn’t look for it, didn’t watch for it, but it was there… I blinded myself because I wanted everything to be alright. So when Applejack the Ever-Vigilant, the Element of Honesty, the one known for her integrity gave the order for Unicorn dehorning I was… … Well, shocked is too mild a word. I believe that we all were to some degree. The voices of ponies ready to attack me in that mob, and the voices of ponies ready to fight others for me, were very loud and all around me… I don’t handle crowds well, and the situation was such that my mental stability was shot to tatters in that moment. I nearly had a break down. And then Applejack uttered her secondary statement, giving us an escape route, perhaps trying to regain some semblance of morality, giving me time to get out… but not my family.

I packed my things, and as Cherry Cream and Free Cider attempted to pack theirs, I stopped them. I wanted them to be safe, and the military industrial engine of House Earthborn was promising in its potential to keep them safe, as was their territorial acquisition and victory over Moon and Star. Better they live in safety with the Earthborn than be taken as slaves by Moon and Star, even if that meant living without me. The argument that followed was tearful, heart-rending, and gut-wrenching. But I did what I felt I needed to. I hugged them goodbye, told them I loved them, and stepped out the door, leaving my wife and colt behind me… That was the single most painful moment of my life.

I went to the group escorts out of Earthborn territory… I left past the border and made my way up through Stormwing territory to Trottingham a neutral Settlement in the Northern Expansion. I was stopped and questioned many times on the way by Stormwing forces, however as I am not a Pegasus my neutrality in the war was acceptable to the Stormwing Hoplites, and they let me on my way.

I lived in Trottingham for some time, before the Cult began to infect it, keeping a watch on events but not recording, having… trouble, putting quill to paper on a subject so close to my heart. I kept a watch on my family, watched Free Cider grow, watched him curse my name for abandoning him, curse the Earthborn for forcing me out, get into trouble with other ponies and get taken in more than once for his reckless behavior… and I watched my wife sink into a deep depression. I watched her shun contact with other Earth Ponies as the anti-Unicorn sentiment grew and grew. I watched her stop eating, stop going to work, stop making ice-cream… And then I watched her slit her legs up and bleed out in a bathtub, with me miles and miles away, shouting at her to stop and her not being able to hear a word, unable to get to her, unable to stop her, unable to tell her any of the million things that might have made her feel loved… And as I stood there, tears running down my cheeks, staring at her body, I watched Free Cider walk in to find her in a tub of her own blood…

He blamed me of course, then he blamed the Earthborn, and then he blamed himself. He left everything behind and ran… ran past the border of the Earthborn lands, ran past the desert and the grass and straight into the wild Everfree forest… I have no seen him since. My magic is not powerful enough to pierce the veil of Everfree with the equipment available to me… I do not know what has become of him.

I left Trottingham after a week of mourning and self-abuse… I continued up further north, away from Equestria, away from… everything. I am still headed North, up to the mountains to continue my work, lose myself in the project and forget my guilt, my anguish, my rage… I know that Celestia would not approve of my giving in to my anger, I know she would not approve of my rage but… … My home was broken. My family shattered. Everything I ever cared about is now lost to me, and the Equestria I loved is dead… only the bitter memories of a life that was perfect and joyous remain to me, and the simple truth that my story is far from unique in this new Equestria fills me with even greater rage… What I did, whether right or wrong, and what I could have or should have done, are things that I am never, ever going to stop questioning. But I do not question who the ones responsible for breaking my world are. The traitor Elements, the ones we trusted, the ones we loved… I am never going to forgive them. Even if Celestia herself were to return and pardon them for what they’ve done to us… I will not forgive them. And how little that matters in the course of things does nothing but further my anguish…

An Observer's Struggle

MY OBSERVATIONS

AGH!!! I can’t take this anymore! Why!? WHY THE FUCK DID THEY LEAVE US!?!? The question keeps pounding in my head, over and over again, like a hammer smashing down against my skull! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!?!? … … They… … had to have been taken… That’s it. I refuse to believe that they’d leave us of their own free will, that they’d abandon us to… to THIS… … That’s got to be it… They were taken… I’ll search for them, even as I continue to record the events of the war, when I get to my old outpost… if I get there…

I… The dreams are still the same. I haven’t been able to sleep for maybe more than a couple of hours in the last three days… I’m exhausted. As I go further north the air gets colder, and my joints are creaking, my muscles are groaning… My body is older than it used to be, and having to lug all this equipment with minimal sleep and in an increasingly harsher climate is difficult to say the least. Logically, the chances of my surviving the trip to my old outpost are rather slim… and that’s assuming it’s still in any shape to support life when I get there.

The time I take to record events is extending the trip. But I can’t just… not record events. I can’t. I have to, I need to… I need to have it down. For the Princesses when they come back… Or for the next generations of ponies if they never do or… or if they’re dead… … Dear Celestia please don’t be dead… I… … Ahem… … The Everfree Forest is still off-limits to my sight. While the Everfree Forest has always had a certain foreign energy about it I’ve always been able to pierce its veil before, in the times before the war… I believe that this so-called Everfree Liege is likely deliberately blocking the forest off to magical sight, likely as a tactical ploy to build its army and prevent its extermination. The nature of the Everfree Liege itself is a mystery to me… All speculations are premature until I can pierce Everfree’s veil.

Canterlot is also protected from my sight, surrounded by a magical shield designed specifically to prevent long-range gazing, likely a precaution taken against Applejack’s ability. Other Moon and Star cities are only marginally protected comparatively, lacking the backing of the Archmagister’s magical finesse to hide their actions from sight. An amateur would be stopped but I can find the cracks in their protection easily, the effort taken to do so barely worth a footnote. The Cult of Laughter is surprisingly open, and easy to observe, but there are certain areas of the Cult of Laughter that… see back… And when they see me they try to reach me, and I have to blink them away and… I need to find a way to observe them more securely.

Manehatten is open to my sight surprisingly, but the Mistress Rarity is not. There’s… It’s hard to describe exactly but… it’s like a black hole in the picture where she should be. I can’t even tell when she’s eating dinner. The Earthborn… I can observe their cities with impunity, but I can’t watch Applejack, I have to be very cautious when observing Appleloosa. I would be able to see her but she would see me back because of that bucking eye of hers… I do not want her eye turning to me; it would be able to pinpoint my exact location and in her paranoia and rage she’d send somepony to deal with me, no matter how far out of her territory I might be… As long as she doesn’t know I exist though she doesn’t know to look for me… As long as she doesn’t remember me… Treacherous bitch…

Ahem… In short, the scope of my vision is hindered. By my exhaustion yes, but even more so by my lack of equipment and security. My old observation post was never packed up. When we abandoned it we just left everything there save for the most personal of items. We… well… I was the last one to leave. My assistants, my crew… most of them left when they heard of the Royal Sisters disappearance. I don’t really blame them it… it shattered my heart to learn of their vanishing. However I stayed there for the assignment Celestia had given me, to see it through to the end… I and a few others.

We were there for two reasons actually. The first I am still not willing to discuss even in these private logs, the second… was a far simpler and less time-consuming project, one that is highly likely irrelevant by now. We were assigned to watch a single area in Northern Equestria for alteration, magical flows, a sudden and noticeable change. What this change would be we were never told… But considering that a city appeared in the spot, I imagine that that was what Celestia was thinking of when she told us to keep a watch on it.

I was writing the coded message, a very simple one actually that merely required an emphasis and far more vague language than I would normally use, when we received the news that my message wouldn’t be needed because the sisters had vanished… I… … I still can’t properly convey my emotional state after that news.

In any event I stayed as long as I could, until I heard what was going on in Canterlot… I needed to complete my mission… A lot of us didn’t stay though and I don’t really blame them… it was torment being away from my family at a time like that as well… But when they left they left all the equipment behind, only took their personal possessions. When I left I barely took anything, I just… stayed long enough to make sure that things were… secure. Then I bolted… … Our outpost was hidden, it was hard to find… hopefully nopony else has managed to find it and loot it. But I suppose that’s a moot worry if I can’t even get there… … I… I need to try to find someplace to regain my strength… Try to find someway to get there… … I just… … … Well, here’s hoping I can at least get there BEFORE I keel over and start to rot away… Here’s hoping…

A Historian's Failure

MY FAILURE

I am going to die. It seems rather unfair really. I’m extremely close to my old observation post… I nearly made it. But no, I can say with a great deal of certainty that I am going to die here, very likely frozen to death. Of course if I keep the fire going long enough then I’ll upgrade to either dehydration or starvation. That’s a dim hope though… probably don’t have enough lumber to keep the fire going.

The reason for my rather grim outlook on my continued existence is that I am currently trapped in a cave, by an unknown amount of snow. Seeing as how it came down in what I assume was an avalanche, I would be willing to bet that it is quite a great deal. I have been attempting to dig my way out, and failing miserably. I’ve been looking for another pathway out of the cave, but that also has proven to be a moot point as the cave ends in a sheer rock face about a dozen hooves in. I have used my sight to search for another less obvious way out and have not found it. Considering the power of my sight that is essentially saying that there is no way out and that I am going to die here.

So here I am, freezing, sitting next to a dying fire eating away at the last of my kindling, and all I can think to do is jot down a few more lines and observations before my ink freezes… Typical me really. It’s also an exercise in futility as I can’t really observe anything from here… Even my magical sight has its limits, and one of those limits involves having physical barriers between me and the nearest skyline. Unknown tons of snow over and around a stone cave would certainly do it.

So what to do, what to say… When years from now, if even then, somepony digs out my remains, likely rotted and skeletal, and sees this collection of telescopes and compasses and ink wells and quills beside me, and then looks into my papers to see what I’ve written, I would really rather like to have some sort of poignant last words for that pony. But buck it I can’t think of anything.

Let’s examine the circumstances of my demise shall we? The great progression of my life from royal scholar and observer, trusted by Celestia and a respected academic with wife and child, to an old griping pony dying in a cave, with a war raging in his home, his wife dead by her own hooves, and his child in the middle of the Everfree joined up with savages and barbarians, or dead. What poignant statement, what great universal truth, can someone like me who had everything and lost it all to a mixture of pony’s anger and his own incompetence share? We’re all bucked? Life is a bitch? Being polite for decades and suddenly having your life ripped away from you really shatters your reservations about cursing? Is there ANYTHING that can be gained from my sad example of an existence in these last moments?

… Well… Maybe a suggestion of what not to do… I started this quest, up into the ice and rock, so that I could get the equipment I needed to record a record of folly, of the war fought here in Equestria that ruined EVERYTHING that the Royal Sisters ever cared about, that they gave everything to protect… I suppose that instead of the folly that lead to this, and the folly of the traitor Elements, my own folly will be the one that is recorded. The folly of one more dead pony in a time of war… Maybe someday some Cult jesters will giggle over it.

I suppose that I’ve complained enough for the moment… The fire is dying down, which is evidence that it’s time to feed it another telescope. I’m cold and I’m tired and I suppose that I’ve got nothing left to say… I just want to lay down and sleep by the fire while I still can… And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I was the Scholar, and I tried to make a record of folly… and like with most other things, I failed.