The Aced Turnabout
Phoenix Wright waited for the miracle to happen, but nothing occurred after the judge banged his gavel and made his speech about Rainbow Dash being held to a higher court in lieu of her guilty verdict. All he felt like doing was burying his face with his hands as he walked out of the courthouse. Twilight Sparkle’s attempts to comfort him as she followed were not heard by his ears, for his spirit was broken. All he felt like doing was remembering...remembering back to a time when nothing mattered...
Nothing that mattered back then at least...
Just yesterday...
“Phoenix...I was wrong about you...” said a despondent Twilight.
“Twilight, wait I-,” Phoenix replied, but he was too late, as Twilight had already left.
“She’s gone...” he said. “Who am I kidding? She’s right...I did absolutely terrible in there...Now two of her friends are suspects. What do I do now? I don’t have any leads at all, nobody to turn to. I’m all by myself...Which means...I can’t even get back home...”
But even though nothing mattered anymore, he felt a feeling of hope...
“...” Phoenix’s attitude changed. “No, I can’t think that way, I’ve got to stay diligent. I said I’d clear Rainbow Dash’s name, and I bought her another day. I can’t let it go to waste...but where do I start...?”
And then Pinkie Pie showed up and the rest was history.
But today, it was proven with hard evidence that that hope was all for naught. Phoenix Wright’s efforts were all for diddly-iddly squat.
Who was pointing that out to Phoenix Wright as the bailiff prepared to move Rainbow Dash to a place where she would get a lot more time to practice her new grooves? Why none other than Derpy Hooves!
The defense was only allowed to ask three questions
About a pathetically short testimony the prosecution worked best in
Even though the defense worked his magic like a genie
In the end he lost, leaving us asking just one question, why is the prosecutor such a pussy...cat.
“Thank you everyone!” Derpy finished.
“Ha ha...” Trixie laughed, overhearing the poem as she entered the recess room. “Pathetically short...you three buff-headed buffoons are the ones who are pathetically short...of any worth! Especially you Twilight Sparkle! You were no match for Trixie from the start, but you could have at least avoided being the sorriest excuse for a waste of Trixie’s time! I don’t even feel compelled to rub your embarrassing loss in your face...my victory says it all...LOSERS! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!”
Then with a smoke bomb, Trixie and her bombastic attitude were gone. But the sting of her victory remained as Twilight and Phoenix kneeled their heads in anger and shame, and Derpy lifted her head towards the ceiling smiling at the problems above us now. All was lost...
Unless...
“Hey guys, I just remembered something!” Fluttershy yelled happily at Twilight and Phoenix, trying to cheer them up. “Another pony besides Rainbow Dash came out of the Everfree Forest that night! She might know something that could get everypony to believe that Rainbow Dash is actually innocent!”
Twilight and Phoenix lifted their shaking right arms up in response.
“...Tell it to the judge...” they politely replied as they pointed to the judge who was walking into the court lobby.
“The judge?” the judge replied. “I prefer to be called “Your Honor”, thank you very much.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry for my friends Your Honor...” Fluttershy apologized, sympathizing with Twilight and Phoenix. “They’re just terse because they lost, and that’s something I can really relate to right now.”
“I must say that I feel a similar way, erm...Fluttershy,” the judge responded. “Back in my world, I see pathetic losers all the time in court. I’ll never know why they do what they do, but I try my best to not let it affect my judgement. Things like that just weigh us down and cause problems.”
“Hey, you’re right! That’s really...” Fluttershy paused as she examined the floor. “Excuse me, is it just me, or is the floor really...wet?”
“Why good jolly on toast, you’re right!” the judge felt the dampness of the lobby’s rug. “Are there children in here that I must have the bailiff escort to the bathroom?!”
Unbeknown to them, Phoenix and Twilight ran to the restroom crying. And unbeknown to Phoenix and Twilight, as they cried their eyes out in the sink, ten silhouettes of mares who looked like zombies with stitched up bellies appeared in the mirror. They grinned at our two crestfallen heroes for a few seconds and then vanished when Phoenix and Twilight lifted their heads.
“Anyways Your Honor,” Fluttershy resumed but was interrupted.
“No need to call me that!” said the judge. “I just remembered that I momentarily lost my memory. I actually prefer to be called “Judge”.”
“Oh sorry,” Fluttershy felt silly for not guessing that the judge would be forgetful. “Anyways Judge, how would you like to see the ruler of all of Equestria, Princess Celestia? Would that be your Honor?”
“It certainly would be my Honor!” the judge replied. “I still haven’t even gotten the chance to fully explore this fantastic land, being implored to meet your leader would provide a great opportunity for me!”
“Then let’s go to the train station and meet her in Canterlot!” Fluttershy grabbed the judge’s right hand and escorted him out of the courthouse, glad she had been subtle about her plan. She was plotting to utilize Celestia’s all-knowing intelligence to find out from her the best way to find the pony who came out of the Everfree Forest and fix this mess, but unfortunately, it was not going to work...
As Fluttershy and the judge walked out of the courthouse, they heard some rustling in a nearby bush that hadn’t been there before...
“Hmm...” both of them eyed the bush suspiciously. “Who do you suppose is in that bush, Fluttershy? Do you think it’s a robber waiting to ambush us before we get on the train?”
“Maybe it’s just a bunny trying to play a game with us that involves sneaking up on our backs?” Fluttershy hypothesized optimistically.
“Heh heh...” a voice from the bush laughed. “I like these questions...so why don’t you...AXE ME ANOTHER!”
“AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!” Fluttershy and the judge shrieked in terror as a dark unicorn-shaped figure jumped out of the bush wielding an axe! The figure preemptively struck them on the heads with the stick supporting the axe and they both fell to the ground splattered and unconscious.
“Now Ace Swift’s legacy shall remain a mystery...” the figure snickered, throwing a smoke bomb on the ground and disappearing with Fluttershy and the judge.
Back inside the courthouse, Twilight and Phoenix heard the screaming.
“That sounded like Fluttershy...” Twilight and Phoenix said, exchanging fearful looks. “She must be in danger!”
They ran out of the bathroom, only to find that the lobby was completely empty, save for one pony...Princess Celestia.
“Hello, my faithful student and her faithful friend...” Celestia put her bangs over her head and held a glass of wine in her right hoof. “Glad you’re here, it would be lonely just talking to myself in here.”
“Princess please!” Twilight exclaimed as sweat trickled down her forehead. “We lost the trial, and you have to help us! Fluttershy could be...”
“Kidnapped?” Celestia replied as she swirled the wine in the glass with a confident grin on her face. “Along with the judge by a mysterious unicorn trying to stop anypony from meeting with me to discover Ace Swift’s dark and mysterious legacy?”
Phoenix and Twilight were both completely silent for a second.
“Did you um...witness that...Your Majesty?” Phoenix asked, feeling very scared.
“No. But I found this stuff lying on the ground as I walked in here...” Celestia levitated a folded piece of paper that appeared to be a ransom note, two uniforms with one being red and the other being green, and a big, blue book into Phoenix’s hands. “I think after reading that note, it should be obvious what your next choice of mission should be...”
Phoenix opened the note and began to read what it said:
To Twilight Sparkle and Her Stupid Friend,
Did you really think everything was over after your loss with a good and potent warlock such as I? If you actually believed that Twilight, you and your magician friend are even worse defense attorneys than I thought. Trixie knows that there is still far more to this case than meets the eye, and the fact that your other friends figured that out before you did is just sad. I kidnapped them before they could realize what they were suffering, and I am now holding them hostage deep in the Everfree Forest, far behind Zecora’s hut. What Trixie needs you two meatheaded boneheads to do for me is to go to the Ponyville mortuary disguised as trash disposal workers and collect the body of Ace Swift. Bring it behind Zecora’s hut in the Everfree Forest by 8:00 PM tonight, and then use the spellbook Sonata provided you to bring the late pegasus back to life so that his legacy may be revealed to Trixie! If you do not agree to my demands, your friends shall join Ace in a special place where I’m sure they’ll be able to learn all about him...in Tartarus, the land of the doomed! Heh heh. I’m departing!
Love,
???
(I just don’t know what to put here...)
As Twilight looked over at the note, she found herself sharing a stare of utter confusion with Phoenix. There was so much wrong with this note, it was mandatory for them to choose where to start with the contradictions in it, and they decided on...
“The spellbook...” Phoenix and Twilight flipped through it in disbelief. “Even if this spellbook somehow does contain magic for raising the dead, there is no way the kidnapper would just hand us something like that when they could easily do their own dirty work all by their self...hmm?”
Phoenix and Twilight realized that they could read the hieroglyphics for the spells as if they were clear English. And sure enough, one of the spells listed in the book...was a spell for bringing a dead pony back to life. They looked up at a smiling Celestia.
“I’m sure you’re capable of doing this kidnapper’s dirty work now...” Celestia reassured. “Now is not the time to be doubtful and asking questions, now is the time to be hopeful and trying your best to save your friends!”
Phoenix and Twilight were both very suspicious of Celestia now.
“Come to think of it...” Phoenix thought. “She doesn’t seem at all disappointed that we didn’t win the trial...could this whole “Fluttershy’s kidnapping/Ace Swift’s legacy” tale just be a trick? I think she did something with Fluttershy and the judge outside before she came in here...”
“Now that it’s been mentioned...” Twilight thought. “Celestia clearly knew some things about this case from the start that she wouldn’t reveal when I pressed her...It wouldn’t be unimaginable for her to hide details from us in order to get us to embark on her little “missions”...”
“You both seem untrusting of me...” Celestia grinned. “Even though it doesn’t matter, seeing as you two have no other options but to believe me, I am feeling...generous. I’ll let you ask me one question regarding this whole issue...a question that I promise to answer truthfully before I send you away.”
“What a schmuck...” Phoenix chuckled. “I’m going to love seeing you keep up your charade of lies after I’ve interrogated you with this, Pinnochio’s conscience!”
“What should we ask her, Phoenix?” said Twilight. “With careful wording, she could easily dodge our question like glue on the ball!”
“Don’t worry...” Phoenix already knew what to do. “With the question I’ve prepared, we’ll get her beans spilled like pot on a medium’s pearl!”
“Now Celestia...” Phoenix held the Magatama in front of Celestia’s red, contorted face. “My question is...”
Phoenix asked...”Are you evil?”
Celestia answered...”No. I have never hurt anyone, and I never intend on hurting anyone! That also means the judge and Fluttershy!”
No Psyche-Locks appeared...she was telling the truth!
“Now begone with you!” Celestia’s horn lit up with aura, and Twilight and Phoenix were both teleported to outside the local mortuary.
“That went surprisingly well!” Phoenix smiled optimistically at a bemused Twilight.
“Your well-intentioned yet insensitive question was a surprisingly necessary evil...” Twilight replied with mixed emotions.
Later, inside the mortuary...
It was 5:00 PM now (Phoenix and Twilight needed time to plan how they would get Ace’s body), and there was one unicorn left on his shift in the morgue. He was waiting by the front desk with a cash register and a computer for ponies to come and claim the corpses of their departed family members and friends for a nominal fee. Unfortunately, because funerals and burials were unpopular in Equestria, business was typically slow and many of the dead bodies had to be thrown in the garbage so that they could be cremated by the trashmen. The bodies were kept in metal shelves in the back under two separate categories, with the left category having a sign reading “Scum!”, and the right category having a sign reading “Good Meat!”. Prior to being put in the shelves, research was done on the dead corpses who had lost their lives to see if their begone owners had been naughty or nice. With such knowledge, the secretary pony would not be an easy one to pull a trick on, but Twilight and Phoenix had a ruse prepared...
“Whistle so you’re warped, kid!” Phoenix and Twilight said proverbially like blood brothers, as they came into the morgue donning the red and green uniforms. “It’s the link to the contradiction in your sanity, but we’ll break it by exorcising the ghosts and goblins from your castle that stretches miles long, because we’re the Plumber Trashmen!”
“Oh, this is just preachy...” the bored secretary wasn’t feeling keen on this. “I’ll have you plumed pork pullers let the man upstairs know that his pipes don’t need to be cleaned, lubricated, or paid for! What that means is that those are the worst waste management disguises I’ve ever seen!”
Twilight and Phoenix both looked nervous and sweated in frustration.
“Okay Mr. Dug Funny,” Phoenix replied, “I got a joke for you. Why do they call us trashmen “waste managers”? Because.....we’re always finding new waste to get waysted! And cue...DEAD silence!”
Dead silence filled the room as predicted.
“It’s unfunny because it’s true...” Twilight sighed. “Look sir, what kind of trashmen we are doesn’t matter right now. We’re just here to collect the body of Ace Swift, and then we’ll be on our way.”
Dead silence filled the room as unpredicted as the secretary looked into Twilight’s eyes with great fear.....
“Ace Swift...” he said eerily. “...I told them he wasn’t here...he wasn’t in the shelf because I got bored on the job...I did a good job like a good boy...and you’re here to punish me...because you’re not trashmen...YOU’RE FROM THE FBI!!!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIII DIDN’T KNOW!!!”
The secretary had gone crazy Toony Looms over Slender, and with a cherry “WOAH!” he made a huge mess with his cutie marked, round table vertically blasted radius. A traumatized Twilight and Phoenix made their way around a brown mess to the back of the room. To the left of the shelves used to store the bodies, they noticed a door that read “Secretary’s Closet”. Out of curiosity, they opened it, and found that it contained just what they were looking for. The body of a charred Ace Swift...tied to the ceiling by his hooves with a blue-coated caramel apple ducktaped in his mouth by the stick. The blue caramel from the apple had somehow dripped from his throat to the back of his pants area...magic?
“Wow, that insane secretary has a sick sense of humor...” Phoenix observed the horrible prank Ace suffered through. “I almost feel sorry for this pathetic excuse for a loser now...”
“This taste...” Twilight tasted the blue goo from the back of Ace’s funny pants. “This is the taste of...TRUE MAGIC! That...that creep! He went way too far! I’ll get him for this!”
Heh heh.....You’re doing a good job.....
Frightening words chilled both Phoenix and Twilight to the bone, as ten of the shelves in the right category opened ominously, and the ten zombies with stitched bellies that our heroes failed to see in the mirror way back walked up to Twilight and Phoenix...uttering the horrifying words in a ghostly tone...
You’re doing a good job.....You’re doing a good job.....
Before Phoenix and Twilight got a chance to scream, the secretary squeaked shrilly and fell to the floor passed out.....at the hooves of the figure who kidnapped the judge and Fluttershy!
“You...you just couldn’t let it go, could you?” the dark unicorn figure chuckled in Trixie’s voice as she donned a pair of wings.
“We knew it...” Twilight and Phoenix weren’t surprised as she removed her hood. “Even before we looked at the spellbook, it was completely obvious that the kidnapper was you...”
“DERPY HOOVES!” they concluded as they gazed upon a new Derpy...a fusion between Ditzy Doo and Trixie...WHITEMAILER DIXIE!
“The two girls are now one...” Derpy cupped her hooves. “Trixie was such a fool...a fool who got too foolish for her own intellect. She was supposed to throw that trial...and give up trying to find the truth behind Ace Swift’s legacy. I knew if she kept investigating she would eventually discover my dark little secret...that I am not just a whitemailer, but that I am also Ace Swift’s sister...his true successor...the one who will obtain the dark power of his legacy! Oh well...I guess she got her wish for power...DAH WHA HA HA HA!”
“WHAT THE HECK IS THIS STUPID LEGACY, ANYWAYS?!” Twilight and Phoenix shouted. “What the heck are you?!”
“I’ll explain everything before I send you to the fray...” Derpy gave a sinister smirk as she teleported them to the Everfree Forest, where a story unfolded, but had to wait until the sequel because of length. Regardless, it would soon be revealed why Ace Swift was not evil...
The Ending of Bad Ending Without the Story.
Author's Note
Next time is the story, but you don’t need it because you already have the bad ending. Thanks for reading, and if you want to read Derpy’s story on how this all came to be, it’s in the next part! Have fun!
In the unknown regions of the Everfree Forest, precedented time being 8:00 PM...
“I think it’s about time to end this little game, guys...” said Derpy Hooves after she had teleported them all to the destination. “I shall tell you everything...”
Derpy began her cross-eyed examination with a testimony.
How Did It All Happen?
-Ace Swift’s accomplice was not Sonata like you have been led to believe...it was actually ME!
-Sonata was actually Ace Swift’s master...with her knowledge of the dark arts, she made Ace Swift a slave of them. But Ace didn’t mind being a dark magician, for his goal was to be number one. Besides...he and Sonata just so happened to be BFF’s, Best Friends Forever!
-There was just one problem with their friendship...Sonata didn’t want any children. This was bad for Ace, because to truly be number one for generations to come, he needed to have kids to pass down his legacy of the dark arts of blackmail to. Even though he was a love addict, none of the mares he offered to love agreed to help him. And that’s where I came in...
-He arranged a secret meeting with me, his sister and a Celestial official secretly granted magical powers disguised as Ponyville’s #1 Mail Courier, and discussed his plan...His plan for me to help him conceive his children and become a mother and father...
-He had written ten letters addressed to the ten mares who had previously refused his offer, this time planning to use a bit of force...
-He knew I was a whitemailer, the antithesis of a blackmailer. Unlike a blackmailer who sends evil letters to ponies threatening to expose their secrets, a whitemailer sends nice letters promising good fortunes to their receivers, which with the power of TRUE MAGIC come true when the sender reads them, creating secrets that will ironically destroy that receiver’s life forever...
-He gave me the letters to lace with TRUE MAGIC and send to the ten mares. Inside each letter, this message was written.....
“Dear “Mare’s” Name,
Greetings, Mia More. I have come to humbly accept your opinion. Even though you don’t like children, that’s your own personal opinion to have about your own personal offspring. Instantaneously after reading this, you will give birth to an adult named “Child’s Name”. “Nominative Gender” will be a “Nominative Gender”, and “Nominative Gender” will also be an adult when “Nominative Gender” is formed inside of you because I am not good at parenting. When “Nominative Gender” comes out of you, have “Objective Gender” read this part that says “Nominative Gender” must come to meet Ace Swift in Canterlot at once for “Personal Gender”’s destiny to be decided. Thank you.
Love,
Ace Swift
-When the mares read the letters, the magic of the whitemail worked at one cost...their bellies were ruptured. After the TRUE MAGIC from the letter backfired and turned them into zombies, they lost all conscience of what had happened. Thankfully, I gained control of them and turned them into my servants, as Ace did with his children when Sonata found out about him being a whitemailing cheater...
-He was in big trouble...so much trouble that Sonata forced him to punish his children by making him have them be an active part of the blackmailing scheme with the Equestrian 500. Maybe that’s why Cruise Control hates Ace so much, especially with his mother being a young girl who didn’t have enough mental strength to lose her conscience and become a zombie, but that’s a different story!
-One different story I’d like to bring up is when Trixie did her research on this and found out about me being an evil mother who tried to “steal” her brother’s legacy upon his death. When she confronted me about it, I warned her to throw the case and the trial or there would be consequences...
-But she didn’t listen, and so I was forced to dispose of her! Oh, what a tragedy the Ugly and Stupid Trixie has to suffer now, all because of her foolish lust for power!
-Fortunately for me, my dream for power will come true, for I have you guys here to revive my friend, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me and him from ruling the word as black and white magician siblings! MWA DAH HA HA HA!
Upon hearing this long testimony, Twilight and Phoenix just laughed.
“Ha ha...?” Derpy said sheepishly. “What’s so funny? What’s with that positive reaction?! STOP SNICKERING!”
“”Derpy”, you’re pitiful...” Phoenix and Twilight said confidently as they wagged their pointers. “You’ve shocked us enough to get us to believe a story that is the definition of a contradiction, but if you think you can get us to believe a tale with not one, but TWO statements containing TWO glaring inconsistencies, you’re sadly mistaken...”
“What?” Derpy replied nervously. “H-How?!”
“We don’t think we need to tell you...” the heroes both chuckled. “We think it would be better to SHOW you!”
That moment was when Twilight and Phoenix presented the statements that proved who the real villain in all this was.....and that’s the end of this story! Unless...you want more. If you want to be the kind of hero who stays with the heroes until the end, watch the two inconsistent statements be revealed! Please do not stop now, a true bad ending is in sight!
The Ending of Bad Ending With Story.
Congrats, you’re just like them! For what happened was...
“The two statements that revealed the glaring inconsistencies were the ninth and eleventh statements, “Derpy”!” Phoenix and Twilight shouted. “Why? Because you got too smart and then too dumb for your own good! We’ll show you where exactly you went wrong...”
In the ninth statement...
-He was in big trouble...so much trouble that Sonata forced him to punish his children by making him have them be an active part of the blackmailing scheme with the Equestrian 500. Maybe that’s why Cruise Control hates Ace so much, especially with his mother being a young girl who didn’t have enough mental strength to lose her conscience and become a zombie, but that’s a different story!
“The problem?” they prepared to explain. “Cruise Control has never been brought up in this entire story, nor has his sister! And when you finally mentioned them, you referred to Cruise Control’s sister as his mother...WHEN YOU INSISTED EARLIER THAT YOU WERE HIS MOTHER! A mother would never make a mistake like that...unless it was to try and close a case with cold logic!”
And...
In the eleventh statement...
-But she didn’t listen, and so I was forced to dispose of her! Oh, what a tragedy the Ugly and Stupid Trixie has to suffer now, all because of her foolish lust for power!
“The problem?” they prepared to explain. “You chose a bad time to play dumb Derpy...or should we say Dixie! Did you forget that Trixie isn’t actually gone? Despite everything you’ve tried to explain in this testimony, YOU’VE NEVER BROUGHT UP ONCE THAT YOU ABSORBED TRIXIE AND TRANSFORMED YOURSELF INTO DIXIE! And Ugly and Stupid? If you’ve absorbed Trixie, you must have Trixie in you...and Trixie would never stand for those kind of insults!”
“W-what does this mean?” Dixie was scared as her voice became distorted.
“Our theory is that Derpy is not the main mind of Dixie...” they had found the truth. “Trixie is! Trixie has been the mastermind of this entire scheme all along and you’ve just been taking orders in hopes to see your brother again, haven’t you?!”
With that, Dixie finally broke down, unable to make a stand.
“HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH.....MEAN.....THINGS.....BE QUIET TO ME!” Trixie de-fused herself with Derpy. “Heh heh...you may have discovered my true intentions...but you are too late...Trixie is no longer in need of your friends!”
Trixie made a wet bag large enough to hold two ponies and people appear with her horn and tossed it over to Phoenix and Twilight. When they opened it, they were horrified to see that their friends, the judge and Fluttershy, were made unsafe...by a mass of blue goo...
“No...” Twilight said as tears formed in her eyes.
“Trixie...you...YOU DASTARDLY DUCKFACED DARNSEL!” Phoenix yelled. “I’ll...”
“If you have an objection, hold it right there!” Trixie pulled out a glow-stained blade and held it up to Derpy’s neck. “If you want Derpy to live, you better stick with the plan and revive Ace Swift! Did you think the Great and Powerful Trixie dull enough to fall for this brightly naive child’s child’s play? Trixie had done her research on her relations with Ace Swift long before she confronted Trixie about this case. When she foolishly threatened this Great and Powerful one, Trixie realized that the easiest way to take her down and discover the legacy of Ace Swift at the same time was to darken Trixie’s eyes to her treachery by staging my victory at the courtroom and later staging my defeat by her hooves so Trixie could take control of her mind and set everything up in Trixie’s plot of world domination without having to lift a hoof of Trixie’s own! That plan, Trixie’s friend...is TRUE MAGIC. Now come on, just do what Trixie says and Trixie will spare Trixie’s fool....”
Twilight and Phoenix had no choice... They reluctantly got out the spell book and followed the instructions written in it. Phoenix prepared the ritual by drawing the shape of a phoenix feather in the dirt and putting Ace Swift’s body on it while Twilight casted the spell...
“Yes...Trixie did it...THE WORLD IS TRIXIE’S!” Trixie cheered, letting go of Derpy as Ace awakened with a powerful aura of dark magic exuding from him. “TRIXIE DID IT! TRIXIE...”
“No...” Derpy muttered as one of the ten mare zombies began to laugh. She pulled off her mask to reveal that she was...Sonata!
“You mean...I DID IT.” Sonata laughed as she absorbed the other nine zombies. “You were so busy pointing out the inconsistencies...that you didn’t even notice that they meant that there was one extra zombie that whole time...and you also forgot that Ace Swift has a master stronger than he...ME!”
Upon stealing the souls of the mare zombies, Sonata was able to transform herself into the evil Lord of the Doomed! She grew taller and bigger than the largest tree in the Everfree Forest, donned a giant gold helmet with a giant mouth upon her head, and wore a giant blue suit of armor with an insignia of a demon being possessed by a skull with Sonata’s all-seeing eye cutie mark in the center. She was now...SATANO!
“T-TRICKXSIE-YOU-” Trixie couldn’t speak in fear.
“YOU ARE TOO SMART FOR YOUR OWN GOOD TRIXIE...” Satano gave Trixie an evil look in her booming voice. “MY ONLY PUPPETS WHOM I GIVE POWER TO ARE DERPY PLAYTHINGS...BUT DON’T WORRY...I CAN MAKE YOU ONE!”
The skull on Satano’s armor spat out a cereal box that Satano gleefully grabbed. She then used it to seal Trixie in a cereal that was named “Admiral Grinch”, and had a bunny-eared and nosed Trixie’s portrait on the front saying “ARR...STAY AWAY FROM ME TRIX, MATEYS!”.
“THIS IS THE POWER THAT I SHALL PASS ONTO YOU...THE POWER OF BEING SUPER-CEREAL!” Satano bellowed as she opened the cereal box and ate the cereal inside.
“AAAAAHHHHH!” Trixie screamed as Satano ate her insides. “HELP ME!”
Even Phoenix and Twilight felt sorry for Trixie as Satano hurled up the cereal in disgust.
“BLEGH!” Satano spit the chewed up cereal out and it transformed into two mysterious upside-down bowls. “THIS IS THE WORST CEREAL BOX I HAVE EVER CREATED! NOT TO MENTION THE ONE WITH THE GOOFIEST MASCOT...HONESTLY, I DON’T EVEN THINK THE PRIZE FROM THIS ONE WOULD EVEN DESERVE A PLACE IN MY COLLECTION...”
“NNNNNOOOOO!” Trixie cried as she was thrown against a tree and ignored as a biodegradable substance as Satano made a dumpster appear for her to fall in...
“Oops...” Satano snickered. She then turned to the others and gave them a similar evil smile.
“Why did you doom me and eat my mare buddies, Sonata?” said Ace Swift. “I thought we were friends...”
“No Ace...” Satano’s original personality was briefly restored. “We are best friends...FOREVER.”
Ace Swift screamed in agony as Satano forced him to grow wings and turn into an evil red devil! Under Satano’s control, he flew to her side.
“I’VE GROWN TIRED OF GIVING DERPY PONIES MY POWER...” Satano cast a fire spell and burned the spellbook. “I THINK IT’S TIME FOR THEM TO GIVE ME THEIR POWER...AND I THINK I’LL START BY HAVING THEM GIVE ME THEIR SOULS...AND BECOME MY SLAVES AS I TAKE OVER THIS MISERABLE WORLD! GWA WA HA HA HA!”
“Guys, the bowls!” Derpy exclaimed their last hope to Twilight and Phoenix. “They contain some of the power of good magic! It’s what Satano expels from her body to retain her soul of pure evil! Get in the bowls and use their power.....please use their power to send that thing back where it came from! UGGH!”
Derpy cried in pain as Satano stepped on her belly and started absorbing her.
“Please heed me...this once...” Derpy said finally before she went silent.
“HEH...THAT’S ENOUGH FOR NOW...” Satano was satiated. “I THINK I’LL SAVE MY APPETITE FOR WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS MISERABLE VEGGIEFEST OF A FOREST AND INTO YOUR SUGAR BOWL OF A TOWN...”
‘“Oh no...Phoenix, we have to warn everyone!” Twilight exclaimed.
“I know...we can’t let all the sacrifices be in vain!” Phoenix agreed.
“AS FOR YOU TWO...” Satano noticed Phoenix and Twilight getting into the bowls. “THOUGH I COMMEND YOU FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR, I NO LONGER HAVE ANY USE FOR YOU...GET THEM, RED ARREMER ACE SWIFT!”
Forced to comply, Ace Swift flew to Twilight and Phoenix, but halted when he saw that the bowls were hovering. They turned upside-down as they levitated in the air and transformed into UFO fighter ships! Pearly handgrenades secreted from both interiors of the ships and landed all around the pilot’s seats. Sensing that this was the good magic Derpy spoke of, Twilight and Phoenix learned how to fly the ships out of heroic intent, and set a course for Ponyville!
Getting away was not easy. Even though Satano walked slowly sideways in her heavy suit of armor, Ace was able to soar through the air and shoot projectiles from his mouth at our heroes! Upon finally making it to Ponyville, Twilight and Phoenix used the UFO grenade launchers to fire the pearly handgrenades and shoot Satano up in the face. But in the midst of the firing, Ace Swift did a Kamikaze move by slamming his body against the ships, causing them to crash into Ponyville! All of the pearly grenades were detonated and blew all of Equestria straight to heaven!
Later, at a courthouse in heaven with the estimated time being ???...
Everyone in the sacred courthouse was very angry. Twilight, Phoenix, and Ace Swift (who had turned back into a regular pegasus) were all being tried for the murder of everyone in Equestria. The jury, consisting of the victims, glared at our two heroes and Ace furiously.
“Mr. Wright...” the judge Trixie victimized began. “Aside from me, Prosecutor Trixie, and Fluttershy you and your friends have caused the doom of everypony in the world...how do you plead?”
“We plead for the permission to ask a question...” the three stood up out of the chairs they were sitting in. “WHY ARE WE ALL IN OUR UNDERWEAR?!”
“To symbolize your shame...” the judge bent his head despondently. “For your crimes against poniesanity, I hereby sentence all of you to...”
“HOLD IT!” yelled a voice who came into the courtroom just in the Nick of time. It was...Celestia!
“Your honor...” Celestia said valiantly as she donned Phoenix’s attire. “These three kids have done nothing wrong! None of them are evil...they just did evil things for me!”
Everyone in the courtroom gasped as Celestia grabbed the right side of her hair and put it over her right eye.
“I confess...” she said innocently. “To being the true mastermind of this whole case. It was me.”
Celestia went on to describe her plan in great detail...the reason a Psyche-Lock didn’t appear around her when Phoenix asked her if she was evil and she said no was because she wasn’t. But even though she had no intent on doing evil...that didn’t mean her subjects had no intent on doing evil...
“Ace Swift is my son...” she explained about Ace. “I created him from magic and sent him on a mission to populate Equestria with my grandchildren...that was his legacy that he had to carry on, even if it meant world domination. That is why his ideals were so weird...”
“Twilight, I’m afraid to tell you that the trial was rigged...” she explained to Twilight. “Rainbow Dash was never in danger...I’ve been keeping her safe on the sun this whole time. The whole trial was all about trying to get you to find out about Trixie and Sonata and stopping them as part of my revenge for my children...forgive me...”
“Phoenix, as for you...all I can say to you is...” she explained to Phoenix as her grim mood suddenly brightened. “Congratulations on your victory!”
The court began to cheer as the judge handed down a “Not Guilty” verdict and confetti was thrown.
“Wait................WWWWWHHHHHAAAAATTTTT?!” Phoenix cried in shock.
“I shall send you back to your world now...” Celestia’s horn brightened, and in the next moment, Phoenix woke up in bed back in his own world.
“Why did that happen...?” Phoenix asked himself in fear. “That wasn’t a dream...what did she do?”
Phoenix looked over to his left and saw the unconscious bodies of the judge and Fluttershy lying on the floor. On top of them was a piece of paper that he picked up and read. It said...
Dear Phoenix,
This is the rest of my revelation to you. I am your fairy godmother. Aside from Mia, I was the force that helped you win your cases and become the World’s Greatest Defense Attorney. I must say though...I was quite disappointed with your loss in the case with Matt Engarde...and your loss in this make-up case I gave you... You can not lose Phoenix...YOU CAN NOT LOSE! But at least your losing streak has finally ended, and for that I have given you a reward. I have revived you in your home world...with a few minor changes...
Phoenix rushed to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He was still wearing only his underwear.
He was now Maya Fey.
On the other side of the note, it read...
“The victory is yours. GHEH HEH HEH LEH HEH HEH MEH HEH HEH AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA GHA HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!”
Game Over
“Phoenix, YOU WIN!” Celestia, Twilight, and Ace Swift shouted together.
THE END
Thanks for reading, you are the ace of the heroes! Good night!
