My Little Investigators: Friendship in R'lyeh

by Swift As Lightning

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Random, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 1807

Join our protagonists as they battle the evils of Azothoth, Lilith, Yog-Sothoth. and others!

Join our protagonists as they battle the evils of Azothoth, Lilith, Yog-Sothoth, and others!
Rated T for Culty things, implied off screen sex, and violence.
Written by Sneakyfoxx and Mr. Fail
IMPORTANT: This story is made in the style of the table top RPG Call of Cthulhu. What's that mean? It means a lot of what will happen is totally random and mostly out of our control. We might get one protagonist we might get a thousand. We don't know :D! If a protagonist is maimed, disemboweled, or mangled we get a new one and continue from where we left off.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-29 16:20:02 UTC

Axel: Chapter 1

        “Last stop, Canterlot Royal Gardens!” The director shouted over the steaming brakes of the train. Between the raspy breaths of crowded passengers and the constant rickety sound of the wheels, I had barely noticed. The trip took longer than usual, so I was a little drowsy and sore from sitting on flank for hours straight. But I’m finally here, and for nothing less than THE Grand Galloping Gala!

        As I stepped off, the fanfare blasted from the castle, ushering the grand entry of the Wonderbolts to Canterlot. Vendors and caravans lined the road to the entryway, filling the air with the delightfully familiar scent of sugary baked goods and fireworks. The wonderbolts streaked across the sky, trailing their famous smoke as they headed toward the main ballroom.

        The ballroom is how I remember it from a year ago, a huge room filled to the brim with ponies in only the best of formal attire. Red ties, french ruffles, and dazzling high heels everywhere. Word had gotten around that neither Celestia or Luna would be making an appearance. Cadence and my old university friend Twilight were there. With some effort, I finally made way to Twilight’s platform, where she stood greeting ponies. I shoved my way around a gruff looking mare and smiled at Twi.

        “Twilight! Lovely to see you again. How’s royalty treating you?” I asked, hugging her.

        “Just fine *cough*, it’s great to see you again too, Axel.” She seemed a little ill..

        “Are you feeling alright?” I asked, looking her over. I’m no doctor, but I’d never seen anypony with an ailment like this. Her horn was dimmer than most her coat and her eyes were bloodshot and saggy, no doubt from sleep depravity.

        “Yeah, I just have some cold or something. I’ll be fine. Now go have fun, I have nobles to shake hooves with.” She shooed me off. Always the workaholic that one. Smiling, I began to trot off.

        “Alright, have fun.” And with that, I was back on the main dance floor of the ballroom. The music picked up as soon as I set hoof on the edge most tile. I looked up to see Vinyl Scratch take the stage. I started off tapping my hoof, then went on to be tossed into the center of a dancing ring. I proceeded to dance harder than I ever have in my life. That Vinyl Scratch is a godly DJ.

        One tipsy mare invited me outside for a smoke. I politely declined the cigarette she offered, but stood near and maintained conversation. She had a light pink coat and a black mane, which is among my favorite color combinations. The scent of the smogleaf stung my nostrils near the fairly humid entryway. Her cutie mark, a sundial, was odd to say the least, but how could you possibly go wrong with a time related cutie mark?

        “... And that’s how I found out that all manticores really want is a woman. So, handsome, where do you live?” She asked, fluffing a bit of my silver mane.

        “I live in- What is that pony doing?” I noticed a pony wearing a cloak dragging what looked to be a corpse around. It took me a moment, but yes, it appeared to be the maimed body of a pegasus. I held back the immediate urge to vomit and snuck over. The robed pony noticed me almost immediately.

        “What are you doing, unicorn!?” He spat. I stood from my crouched position. The mare from the gala was watching nervously.

        “I could ask you the same.” I replied. He unceremoniously dropped the corpse and it flopped belly up, showing some scrawlings on its belly. The sight was gut wrenching.

        “I’m taking this to the circle.” He said gruffly. I raised an eyebrow.

        “And perhaps you could tell me what exactly that means?”

Spell Check: SUCCESS

I asked, using a bit of magic to loosen his lips.

        “I shouldn’t, but if you follow me, I’ll show you.” He said. I beckoned for the mare to follow as well. Safety in numbers and all that. Speechless at the sight of the corpse, she followed. The grinding of the dead pegasus on the dirt roused no suspicion of passers by, which hardly surprised me. I was kind of hoping that we would happen across a guard or something, but alas, not a one was in sight. We walked for a while before stopping in a small tower near the center of Canterlot.

The strange pony sprawled out the pegasus in the middle of the floor and pulled a short sword from a pack under his robe. With some quick tracing with the tip and some chanting, the whole inside began glowing a fiendish green. It was a frightening sight, to say the least. The lines through the pegasus’ skin, the solid, white stone was now a sick green, or perhaps that the robed pony was speaking a strange tongue that I had never heard before. The mare from the gala was struck silent, mouth agape. I assume she was trying to shout or scream, but nothing was coming out. Or maybe I couldn’t hear anything? I wouldn’t doubt it either at this point.

        “For what reason dost thou summon me, mortal!?” A disembodied voice reverberated off the stone. Snapping back into reality I noticed the pegasus in the center was slowly melting away and large spheres were coming out of the ground. The robed pony threw off his hood and raised his head to speak.

        “Why is there a wizard here that does not have my mark!?” one of the spheres glowed with the volume of the voice. The robed pony raised an eyebrow.

        “What do you mean, great and powerful Yog-Sothoth?” the pony asked. I slowly backed up for the door.

        “One that can use magic without my approval!? What is the meaning of this!?” the voice shouted. I pushed against the door with a single hind leg and ushered the mare from the gala out. Just before the door snapped shut, I looked back to see one of the spheres smash the robed pony. I broke out in a sprint, holding back any other reaction until I got back to the gala. The mare was following close behind. Upon re-arrival on royal grounds, I looked back to the mare, only to be slapped.

        “Why would you bring me along!?” She whisper shouted.

        “I didn’t know what was going to happen! Sorry!” I replied in the same tone. She snorted in a lady-like fashion.

        “Well, I guess now we have to figure out what in the name of Celestia we just saw, then?” she said. I chortled.

        “Perhaps. First things first, I’m Axel Glittermane. You are?” I said offering a hoof.

        “I’m Hyacinth.” She said taking the hoof.

        “Alright. We should probably get some sleep. Is there an inn nearby to stay at?” I asked. She gave me the look that assumed mischief, but was definitely okay with it.

        “Perhaps we could rent a room at The Trotting Mare Inn. I suspect we’re going to be around here a lot.” She replied.

        “Good idea. My intuition tells me things are just going to get worse, so we should probably prepare for that...”

        “I’m sure Princess Twilight knows something about it.” Hyacinth replied. I nodded.

        “Sounds like a good plan. To the castle we go, then.”

        “Yog-Sothowhata?” asked Twilight stumbling over the strange name.

        “That’s what the strange pony called it.” I said with a shrug. She walked with Hyacinth and I down to the Library. She pulled and replaced books in a flurry of pages, flipping through them, and replacing them quickly. She finally paused on a sinister looking book, the cover was stitched black leather and the pages so old you could see the yellow on the edge.

        “This can’t be right, I’m almost positive that Celestia had this book *cough* destroyed...”

Twilight said, slamming the book shut and casting it across the floor. I opened it and brought it to myself to read.

Sanity Check: FAIL

Immediately, everything began spiralling. The book’s characters fell from the page and were dashed across the floor. I could not bring myself to release it. Words began forming on the floor and sliding back onto the page in a random order.

Sanity Check: FAIL

I could feel my eyes slowly rolling backward. My body was rebelling against my will. All I want is to read the book...

        “AXEL!” Hyacinth shouted, slapping the book from my hooves and into a nearby windowsill.

Sanity Check: SUCESS

Short Term Sanity Loss condition: Echopraxia

I immediately retorted with;

        “AXEL!” then grabbed the book and threw it through the window. I’m not sure why I did it, but It just felt like the correct thing to do at the time.

        “Axel?” Hyacinth assured. She tilted her head, giving me a funny look. To show that I was, indeed, ok, I replied with;

        “Axel?” And also cocked my head to the side. She snorted, which I also did.

        “Would you stop!?” She was becoming angry.

        “Would you stop!?” I imitated her anger.

        “Axel, seriously.” Twilight said. I turned to her and slyly replied with;

        “Axel, seriously.” No, that’s not right...

        “I’ll cast a spell, hang on...” Twilight said. No, I’m fine!

        “I’ll cast a spell, hang on...” Why can’t I control my mouth!?

        “What? What spell are you casting?” She asked.

        “What? What spell are you casting?” Why do I still open my mouth? What did that book do to me?

        “A mental cleansing spell is all. Yours?” She said.

        “A mental cleansing spell is all. Yours?”

        “... A mental cleansing spell.”

        “A mental cleansing spell.”

        “Alright, please, just blast him.” Hyacinth butted in.

        “Alright, please, just blast him.”

        “Alright here goes...” Twilight started.

        “BLASTED MOUTH OBEY ME!” I screamed. Twilight halted the spell and Hyacinth raised an eyebrow.

        “Are you ok now? Did the book do something?” Hyacinth asked. I nodded.

        “I don’t know, I just lost control. I think I’m fine now. That spell wouldn’t hurt, though.” I replied.

        “Actually, it might.” Twilight said, casting the spell.- OH SWEET CELESTIA! The biggest headache ever, like it was the running of the leaves and I was the race track. After a moment the pain dulled down to a blessed throb instead of an earthquake.

Apparently having fallen during my “healing” I got up and tried to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary.

        “I should grab the book.” said Twilight looking out the window. “It’s not there.” Twilight said.

Hyacinth’s ears splayed back. I sighed in disappointment. Not only do we not know what we’re up against, but we don’t know who or what got their hooves on that book.

        There was a horrid shriek from outside. Sometimes I hate it when questions are answered...