Please Don't Read This

by watamidoingwithmylife

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Romance, Comedy
Length: 1165

The unpublished stories of Ponyville's finest.

This is a short collection of stories from the unsung heroes and sexual deviants present in the beautiful, but brutally hard land of Equestria. Between the exploits from Liam, the faithful drug smuggler with problematic hyper sexuality and Julia Gillard the Nymphomaniac with anger management issues, the land of Equestria as they know it will be violently violated.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-30 04:59:41 UTC

I should of went to bed

Jake: You know what? Imma write a liam/twilight sparkle clopfic just for you! :D

Liam entered the libary or someshit, Queerlight Faggle was snorting lines of coke with spik

"Spik, you jew quit touching the good shit" Queerlight spent $3 on dat shit and wasn't going to put up with his Fagitry

"Bit Queerlight I is Brazil, gibe moni plos, I repot you HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE BR BR?" Liam laughed at the causal fags and walked towards the british drug lord Faggle

"YOu ist figot, BB want sam fack?" Liam was smooth as fuck and suduced the already arroused and moistened Queerlight.

"OH yeah bb I'll have sam fack, come fack me you jew" Twilight presented her box

Little did Liam and Spik knew that her pussy stank "EEEY GIRL YO PUSS PUSS IS NASTY AS SPIK"S fack hole" Liam accidently reveal he had some of SPiks fack

"OH NOES! D:" Queerlight was heart brocken, Liam wouldn't destroy her meat taco, her stanky munch hole, her sticky fack sack and her bist frond Spik was ragging fagit blankflank

Spik saved day as he whipped out nickelback's latest album and stated "WE CAN ALL GET FACKED IF I CALL FREEZY POP AND NICKELBACK"S LEAD SINGER, PRINCESS MOLESTIDUR!"

Molestidur and Freezy Pop smashed through Queerlight faggles wall "I is princoss Molestidur, I is the niggest, I will fack your stank holes" Freezy Pop proceded to eat Queerlights moist loints "This cakes is delicous!" Liam was uber GABEN that half life 3 wasn't released and accepted Molestidur's passion (18 FOOT FUTAHOSE)

Spik started programing l4d3 whilst everyones except has fack hole was filled with Molstidur's futahose, seriously the bitch had everyone in a human centipe ass rape congo line. "FREEZY POP!" Carrot Cake smashed through the otherside of the wall and filled SPIKS face fack hole with his delicous love "That's what you get for acting demiccy, vegina..."

As liam was lucky enough to be at the front of the penetraction nation he whitnessed Molestidur cumming with the force of thors hammer. Her sticky funnel of steam's summer sale projected Liam to duh Moon.

Liam totally got the bestest idea ever "I am going to HYPERFACK the planet! HUEHUEHUENICKELBACKLIVE IINCONCERTHUEHUE BR BR!" He stuffed as fack hole with as many bricks as possible to have enough mass to PENETRACT EQUESTIDUR. Bak on equestridur Molestidur's glorious indie sale cover the world with her SALTY FACK SEED

Lemon jumped from dur moon and his penis expanded to the size of my mum's waist line (oh snap) HIS MEATY TORPEDO SMASHED THROUGH AN OPRHANAGE in Poniville, the children looked at his giant HYPER PLANET FACKER. "RIGHT KIDS, WHICH ONE OF YOU CANTS ARE GONNA GET SOME DICK TONIGHT!?!?!" Randy smashed through the wall and head butted the SUV he was on. "OOOH I'm Randy, you must be Tiffany?"

"Hey BB you want same fack? I'll be whatever you want, but first..." Liam whipped out his shit dildo and procedded to rape all the orphans with his frozen stankhole love machine. "IT'S SUMMER SALE!" "No liam please..." Randy teleported or some shit to the walrus pit and Liam proceded on his journey back to the Library to buy the crack and anal lube he origanally went there for.

Lemon Trotsky shallowed 18 kilos of crack, heroine and cholat malk to ensure his ding dang doodle wank was prepared, just like his anus. Liam smashed through Queerlight Faggles library where everyone was facking and covered in jizzle my nizzle, Freezy Pop was impaled on Carrot Cakes fack stick and SPik was facking Queerlight "Well, well we meet again Kaka...faggot!" Liam jimmies rustled in the wind as he saw Molestidur, she was real super sand.

ALRIGHT LADIES, IM GONNA FACK YA" Liam craved the skull of Molestidur and fack her gray matter. He kept on facking until she was nothing but a puddle of Liam's spunk and nickelback's latest album. "BUENO, MMM"  You is winner, you got them all ^.^ Thank you for finishing Banned From Equestria Daily. THE END

THE END

What in the fuck am I doing

Jake: You know what, imma write you a julia gillard/luna clopfic

Miss Gillard was walking down Ponivilles mane road, Scotaorphan sped uber fast past her. "CRIKEY CUNT WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING YOU ABORIGICUNT" Scotaorphan was not putting up with the match digidoo fucker "1v1 me figit, I is uber powerful, I figt you irl"

Scotaorphan knocked the fackstain right the fack out with a powerful turkeyslip of her 12inch futa whip. "Crikey wricky dingo cock" and Julia Gillard hit the ground like a sack of nickelbacks greatest hits.

The redheaded fackhead woke up in a place full of flithy peasants and fatty boom booms "Am I in 'merica?, well shit grab me bottle of pertol and heroine and make me a fack hole!" Luna like TP'ed or someshit and came out of facking no where. "I is from micosof, gibe credit cord info so i unhock you HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE BR BR?

"WHAT IN THE BLIMEY FUCK DO YOU TAKE ME FOR YOU FACKWIT, I'LL BITE YOUR FACE CUNT!" Julia Gillard bit her face and luna flipped her shit" I repot u. gibe moni plos HUEHUEHUEHUE BR BR?" Luna summoned a army of expendable orphans "I is real supr sand?!"

The orphans held down that focking wanker primemister of STRALIA and Scotaorphan procedded to twist her nips "MMM ME GUSTA" LUNA WHIPPED OUT HER 18 METER (Metric motherfucker) mega strapon "WINTER IS COMING" she screamed as she penetraited down inside her sandpaper fack hole "WHERE R mein dragons?!?!?! Fagit"

Julia Gillard had a trick up her shelve to over power the army of orphans and to finally defeat Tony Abbot desized as Luna. "i wil alow homo mariage and provid homeles with moni HUEHUENICKELBACKLIVEINCONCERTHUEHUE" Tony Abbot was weakened and the orphans except for the shithead scotaorphan was ded.

Luna/Tony Abbot fell to the ground and Gillard stuck her digery dingo into his billabong "Squeal like a piggy Abbot, i no who u is and i repot u to cyberpolice" Tony abbot and scotaorphan was uber pissed that half life 3 wasn't going to be released this year, but tony abbot was still gonna get some fack "Com on fack me!" "Oh yeh I'LL FACK YA" Julia Gillard Ripped the cant's stanky fack hole up with her dildon't strapon. Blood and summer sale dripped from Abbot's fack hole.

"I repot u!" Scotaorphan was being a fagit again and Gillard screamed "LISTEN UP FUCK STAIN, WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TELL, YOUR PARENTS? HUEHUEHUE BR BR?" Scotaorphan ran away and shit because she is fagit. Tony abbot was trying to escape Gillard's dungeon of love and struggled against her dildon't, she whispered "A true sayain always sprinkles when they tinkle..." And with a mighty finisher move she ripped Luna/Abbot's head off and spray salty futa FACK.

Julia Gillard woke up in Australia and the world blew up or someshit. THE END