Daring Do and The Jungle of Terrorby slash mlpChaptersChapter I "at least i hope it's mud"Chapter II: "the rape snakes cometh"Chapter III “The Quest Continues”Chapter IV “I Want To Cum Inside Rainbow Dash”Chapter V “The Legendary Dildo”Chapter VI “The Plot Thickens”Chapter VII “Wherein the OP is a colossal faggot”Chapter VIII “To The Royal Kingdom”Chapter IX “Endgame”EpilogueChapter I "at least i hope it's mud"Daring Do inhaled a breath of the sticky jungle air, placing one hoof in front of the other as she trudged through the Jungle of Terror, her hooves dragging through the endless mud. Only it wasn't mud, it was an entire field full of semen. All of a sudden, a pack of wild niggers jumped out. "OOGA BOOGA, WHERE THE WHITE FILLIES AT?" they shouted. Finally she saw it, the ancient temple that must be home to the treasure the old mare at the tavern had mentioned. Daring Do tried to remain calm, lest she falter on her quest for the golden dildo. Daring was quick to fly away, because she's a fucking pegasus. The master chief came in and deliverd a pack of Doritos brand corn chips™ and Mountain dew™. Daring pulled her anti-nigger rifle out of her ass and shot the nigger menace to death. “Go away, MXleo1, no one wants you.” Then Here, alone in the wilderness, free of the reins of restrictive, civilized behavior, I, Daring Do, feel no shame in admitting I am a cum hungry slut and the pretense of hunting for ancient treasure, the lie I used to misappropiate the funds necessary to facilitate my travel to this ancient, wicked place in search of the fountain of eternal semen, the only resevoir of such perverted decadence that could ever sate my endlessly unquenchable desire in either my mouth or, dare I say, nethers for untold gallons of the pearly white substance in such great quantity that no one stallion could ever please me. "What the fuck is is with all the bull shit around here, I just want to get fucked bya gold dildo, is that so much to ask?" “Get out of here, stalker” “Holy shit I'm dying here.” Finally she reached the base of the temple, which had several rotting corpses strewn about. She immediately fucks each and every single one. If only there were such a treasure in the country of my birth, but nay, for such a tool that could bring a mare to such heights of exuberance that defy any tongue in this earth the ability to describe them, such a sinful device that would be worth far more than it's weight in gold, the leaden weight of a lover without the crushingly unbearable load of society's disapproval of such a soiree without the commitment of matrimony, truly this ancient civilization that was struck down by the divine is the home of my soul, for I fear my lusts betray me as a devil in disguise and I should do well to isolate myself in the furthest, darkest corners of the world as monsters like I are wont to do. "Alright, enough fucking around!" I put on my jacket and safari hat A dark sensation swept over Daring. Her ears twitch slightly at a faint yet close sound. She sighs, almost resignedly. "Rape Snakes. It had to be Rape Snakes." Chapter II: "the rape snakes cometh"Daring Do began to leap about toward the temple entrance, narrowly avoiding the fangs aimed at her vagina. Leavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve Anyway Master chief then proceded to take his dick out of his asshole and start fingering his urethra Standing framed in the cavernous maw of this ancient temple to the worship of debased false gods forgotten in all but crude depiction of barbaric artwork I stare deep into the abyss before, and as the warm wet breath of this wicked construct to all my sins beacons me further and further into my damnation I fear this may be my final adventure, for I cannot shake the sensation that this is the culmination of an ancient plan set in motion with such incomprehensible foresight, and dare I say a sense of vanity on my own part, that this debased temple was constructed for me, to be the tomb of my mortal body, and as well the tomb of my soul. Daring Do realized that she is an ego-centric whore. While lost in her thoughts, she felt a sharp pain in her crotch at a raping fang tore into her, the poison- which would instantly put her into heat- well-injected into her bloodstream. Suddenly, a shitty sonic recolour OC appears As the vile serpent embraced the most wicked part of the body I was doomed to spend my mortal sentence and pumped me full of it's corrupted venom I felt a terrible pressure in my mind, and without the crushing pressure of the need to maintain face with my fellow enlightened peers I was robbed of any consequence, and with Celestia as my sole witness felt nothing but the desire to rut, my mind as warm and swollen as the cursed area between my flanks. The shitty sonic recolour OC's Medusa-like hair whips about, his lips curling into a sneer. His forked tongue darted out of his mouth as he spoke. "I've caught you at lasssssst, my pretty... Now, prepare yoursssself for a raping that will be ssssung throughout the agesssss!" "Ssslonic! I should have known it was you." Daring could only weakly mutter at this point. "Yessssss. Now... Sssssssssssssssssspread 'em." With that, several Rape Snakes did descend upon her. Daring couldn't notice that,because hundreds of eager rape snakes began to plunge into her vaginal and anal cavities. Being in heat due to the poison, Daring enjoyed the pain the hundreds of snakes wiggling in her orifices, but she bagn to feel her vaginal walls tearing from the stress. "Why can't they just hurry up and make it to my uterus?" she thought, knowing that the goal of rape snakes is to impregnate the host organisms by vomiting their eggs into their uteri. “Is it just me, or is Rainbow Dash going to love this issue?” Who do you think is writing this clopfic? Chapter III “The Quest Continues”Lost in the fog of the damnable curse of my biologic prison I fear to admit that the snakes encountered no barrier of chastity as they made their way into my supposedly sacred private, unable to contain myself I often indulged in the savage colts of these uncivilized lands, who lived up to no great expectations and ravaged my virgin body without either a hint of shame or compassion, and in the moment of being despoiled myself I came to the horrible realization that I could not fathom how much worse the curse of lust would weigh heavily upon my countenance now that I could envision clearly the act that was previously only a wicked dream, and further that I could never share the moment with a civilizes stallion of my own breed an country, now that I was a spoiled whore unfit for marrige or even the gaze of a refined gentlecolt. Suddenly, Daring's uterus started inflating. Eternal semen you say? Yurop is saved! The pain in the most sacred part of my body that Celestia had blessed me with betrayed even through the heat of the incomprehensible pleasure of the greatest dickening of my life that I was now, beyond any doubt or prayer, damned, about to give birth to a thousand rape snakes that will issue forth from my body in a profane parody of the act of birth, and that I would be the mother to a host of lesser daemon that would be sure to torment me until my expiration of ejaculate induced dehydration. As she began to become pregnant, Daring slowly fought her way onto her feet. "You can't defeat me you re-colored sonic OC thing!" As the snakes exited her, she felt uterine fluid dripping out of her vagina. She had to act quickly before the birth of a thousand rape snake hatch-lings weighed her down to the point of immobility. Suddenly the most beautiful and strongest looking mare I had ever seen with a gorgeous mane stood proudly at the precipice of the temple entrance, majestically framed by the setting sun behind her, and in that moment I knew that even though I had never even dared in my worst times to imagine myself with another mare that the beautiful woman before me clearly contained the other half of my vile and twisted soul, and the welling embarrassment of laying prostrate and profane before helped to free me of the sweetly enslaving lust that kept my knees weak and my unmentionable widely agape. I ran up to her, kissed her on the lips, pulled out a magical flying dildo, and began assfucking her with it. Daring could make out a slight glowing light from the mare's crothc...Could it be..."The golden dildo!" cried Daring. The Sonic OC shrieked in agony as the glowing light grew brighter and burst for a beam of birght semen, overwhelming nad drowning Daring's enemy. The rape snakes slithered away at the frightening light, and Daring could feel the babies inside of her disintegrate. Smiling, she stood up and made her way to the beautiful mare. "Thank you.... I don't know how I can ever repay you! Well, actually I do but... It wouldn't really be repayment in my book..." She smiled sweetly at me and with those beautiful lips brushing my ear she whispered cloyingly, "My name is Rainbow Dash, and you are going to love me," and in that moment, with wiggling dick snakes pouring out of my, and I can't believe I'm about to say this, vagina, pouring female ejaculate and amniotic fluid down my legs and matting my tail unattractively to my flankcheeks, taunted by a monster so hideous I fear there is no civilized words capable of description, while the love of my life who I had just met and shared my very first kiss with was having her dirty anus explored with a magical dildo, that in this moment I felt so strong and safe in her arms and that everything was going to be okay, and for the first time in my life I was no longer worried about my future, for even if I was doomed to an eternal torture for my wicked conduct that at least in this fleeting mortal life I had an equally doomed mare to embrace so tightly that perhaps our souls would depart unto damnation together, and as such eternity was robbed of its heavily foreboding terror and loneliness, and to my raison d'etre I myself whispered "I love you Rainbow Dash, please rescue me and fly me to your totally awesome wicked sweet sky castle and let me be your lesbian lover forever" THEN THEY HAD BEAUTIFUL BUTTSEX BECAUSE HOLY SHIT PLOT TWIST DARING DO HAS A DICK AND NOW RAINBOW HAS BABY CALLED RAINBOW MCDICKFUCKER Ze end. She says yes and after 9001 solid weeks of non-stop fucking, they get married. The end... Or is it? BUT WAIT, IT WASN'T THE END BECAUSE THERE'S A GIANT MOTHERFUCKER DESTROYING THE EARTH SO DARING DO POWERS UP INTO SUPER DARING DO USING THE SEVEN DRAGONCHAOS EMERALDBALLS AND DEFEATS THE MONSTER AND THEN IT WAS THE END! Chapter IV “I Want To Cum Inside Rainbow Dash”So, after that ordeal, we are now in Act II: Chapter I, and Daring Do had just gotten done cumming inside Rainbow Dash for the 20th time this week. "Dashie, where are my smokes?" "Fuck you, I threw them out, because drugs are bad." Gee, it sure is boring around here... A plot twist you say? However, as they were arguing about how Dashie was a straight-edged fuck and Daring was a drug addict, a giant dildo monster blew up the house with the power of magical tittyfuckers. "Mah boi,a peace like this is what all great warriors must strive for" Said rainbowdash. Daring shrugged."I just wonder what gannon is up to!" “Dear lover, do you not fancy yourself an athelte as do I, and do you not posses a mind capable of parsing our good Equestrian script, for if such things were true then surely you could read many an article from distinguished Doctors regarding smoking being good for your health, the only lack of consensus regarding which brand of the product is the most healthy, refreshing, or delicious, and you would never deny your lover her medicine, would you, Dashie?” All of a sudden, a pony on a magic carpet flew into the room. Suddenly, Celestia flew in on her magic carriage shaped like tits becaus lawl boobs. With a bow, she began. "My lord, gannon and his minions have captured the dildos of Equestria." Darring, much to Dash's dismay, put her hoof to her chin and asked, "What can we do?" Celstia held up a scroll with random, illegible scrawlings written on it. "It is written, only Daring can defeat gannon" Dear lover, Yes, I would read many an article for you from distinguished Doctors regarding smoking being good for your healt- oh wait there aren't any fuck you in the asshole you piece of shit now come over here and cum inside of my pussy Your faithful cumdumpster, Rainbow Dash P.S.: Kill yourself I AM SATAN, AND I HAVE TRIPS YOU DO NOT HAVE TRIPS, YOU HAVE SHITTY DUBS, SO FUCK YOU With Dashie dead, Darring turned to Celestia forher next adventure. "Great, I'llgrab my stuff!" Celestia shook her head. "There is no time, your dildo will be enough. Though, that huge butt plug you have in right now... I'd keep that if I were you, to protect your plot." “Oh fuck I got dubs when I typed that shit” THE LEGEND OF DARING DO: DARING'S ADVENTURE PRESS START “Am I just lucky, or is getting dubs my cutie mark?” No matter, this will be added to the fanfic anyways, just to confuse people when they read it when it's done when it's done when they say when it's done. Darring leapt down some random place to start killing shit by blasting it with her golden dildo. She saw a captured dildo and one of Gannon's minions- a giant nigger- guarding it. The nigger was wielding a weapon that no other could match - The Ancient Purple Dildo of Sexiness! "I MUST HAVE THAT! FUCK THE DILDO IN THE CAGE, THAT IS THE GREATEST DILDO OF ALL TIME! I WILL PLEASURE MYSELF SO HARD WITH IT!" Daring screamed. Daring blasted at the nigger,but the golden cum was useless. "Hah, youve met your match Darring! Ganon sends his regards!" With that, he jabbed the dildo at Daring's rear, but it bounced out, blocked by her giant butt plug. "WHAT?! NOOOOO!" The nigger yelled as the dildo reflected off the buttplug and went right into the nigger's penishole, causing immense amounts of pain, and making the nigger kill himself. Daring completely ignored the dildo in the cage, and instead went right for the Ancient Dildo, and began having sex with herself with it. “Daring DON'T!” Celestia appeared out of nowhere. "Daring you dumb cunt, you need to save the other dildos, otherwise Ganon will rape all of Equestria!" Seeing that Daring is a self-centered whore, Celestia came up with an idea... "Daring, if you get all of the dildos back, I will reward you with a legendary dildo that defies all means of traditional pleasure." Chapter V “The Legendary Dildo”"Alright then!" said Daring Do, and she freed the dildo from the cage, and gave it to Celestia. "Now, GO GET MORE DILDOS! NOW!" Celestia exclaimed, and she flew off, pleasuring herself with the dildo all the way home. Daring Doo tried to stop her vaginal fluids from dripping all over the place. She failed. "Hm, where should I go next, Cum Caves, Butt Bluff, Candy-Vag Cove, The Penis Pillars, or Fart-Fetish Forest?" "I think I'll go to The Penis Pillars!" AREA II: PENIS PILLARS As Daring Do walked up the stairs to the first Pillar, she looked at the beautiful land below her, with people having buttsex everywhere. "Giant cocks spurting fountains of cum... Better watch out for the cock-eating whores this place is known for!" Daring nimbly hopped around, nearing the captured dildo, but suddenly she slipped on some cum and fell down below. She gulped, as a horde of hungry hungry hippo whores awaited her, there sharp, cum-dripping, dick-shaped fangs bared at her. By the way, the whores look like a conglomerate of boobs growing off of a penis. However, instead of feeling danger, Daring felt quite aroused, and let the giant hippos penetrate her pussy, Daring tried to beat her wings to fly away, but the sky was eclipsed by thousands of penises blocking out the sun. She had two choices; try to burst through the circle jerk of the Gods or to try to fuck the hippos into submission. "If only if Celestia didn't fuck off with that dildo!" Daring Doo cursed to herself. Being the slut that she is, she decided to fuck the hippos. The sex scene was as followsdokppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppasiojdsgnhjfdldhjfdljhdfkldsjfkljslkjlfksj dsldjldjanjkhgfkjfdhakjgffdlhj AND THAT'S HOW SHE ESCAPED AND GOT THE SECOND DILDO! She climbed down into the pit, and starting humping. She kept on going and going, until the hippo she was attempt to fuck, kicked her out. She was K.O.'ed, and she had no choice, but to continue. The pit was deep, and it's walls were flat, and had no rocks formed on it, so she had to. AREA III: FART-FETISH FOREST Daring was cautious, as the air was filled with steamy diarrhea farts. Daring takes a big intake of shitty fart air. "Reminds me of scootaloo" "Did somepony say SCOOTALOO?" Daring Doo swallowed all the cock custard she could but the never ending streams of semen began to fill up the pit. Every time Daring Doo gasped for breath another penis was shoved into her mouth. Further and further she was pushed down into the rape cave... further and further away from the Penis Pillar. "SCOOTALOO?! IS THAT YOU?!" Daring screamed Daring turned around to find Scootaloo. "What the Hell are you doing here, you cum-guzzler?" Daring asked. "Me and the others decided to help you!" Scootaloo said, and out came the other two CMC, covered in cum. "Let me guess: You're trying to get your cutie marks by helping me?" Do asked. "YEAH! CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ADVENTURERS!" all three of them exclaimed. "CUTIE CUM CRUSADERS!" Sweetie giggled whilst being violently penetrated by 2 hippos. “What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.” The three fillies ducked and dived their way through the writhing hippo orgy. Daring followed nervously. Last time she had accepted their help, she had ended up in some rainbow pony's basement. She had only escaped when the rainbow pone left to get more dragon dildos. "See? Told ya I knew the way out!" Scootaloo said, as Daring was hit by the blinding light from the entrance. Daring rubbed her eyes in shock. She could hardly believe what she was standing face to face with. Chapter VI “The Plot Thickens”God himself was standing right in front of Daring Doo! "I am God, and I have come to cum." All of a sudden, Daring was bended over, and raped, as God vomited on top of her back as she begged for more. I'm going to Hell for writing that, aren't I? God backhanded the cutie mark crusaders, reducing them to a fine red mist that caked Daring Doo from top to bottom. She could see God was nearly ready for another round- the blood had got him going even more. She knew she could't survive another rape. Daring had to think fast. All of a sudden, she realized that it was OBLIGATORY BOSS BATTLE TIME! "Look god, donations!" Daring screamed as she was released from God's almighty cock. YOU GOT OFF THE COCK! HIT GOD IN HIS COCK FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE! Wild Niggers appear! She ran through the Wild Niggers and pulled out a machinegun from out of nowhere, and began to shoot God in his massive penis. The bullets penetrated God's penishole, and God decided to let Daring go, as long as she read the Bible every day. Daring said "FUCK YOUR BIBLE!" and ended God's life, becoming the new God. She went into another room where she found the third dildo, and she grabbed it, and went on to the next area. The wild niggers set about God and begun to steal everything they could grab from God's pockets and began their own personal quest to ruin the english language. AREA IV: CUM CAVES As Daring walked through the caves, she found paintings from ancient Cavecolts, drawn with dried cum. One painting, however, caught her eye... In it was a shitty recolor of Daring Doo, except it had blue skin, and instead of her grey mane there was a rainbow one replacing it. Daring tried not to vomit in disgust. Then, she realized, "Wait, that's my lovely DASHIE!" She turned around to find Rainbow Dash, alive and well, and then she cummed inside her for the first time in days. Just as the legends stated, wherever there is horse fucking, there is Princess Celestia. "Hey, fuck face... Hey, rainbow fuck face... where are my dildos already?" Princess Celestia asked as she flew down over the rotting corpse of God. “YOU NIGGAS BEST NOT BE USING THEM, YA HEAR?” "Right here, Your Highness." Daring said as she gave the dildos she had collected so far. Rainbow Dash yelled "Hey, wait, you've been collecting dildos without me?!" "Let me join!" Daring decided to let Dashie join, as even though they hated each other, they also loved each other, and Daring could not stop cumming inside Dash with that big cock of her's. “TRIPS AGAIN I AM THE GREATEST THING EVER” Celestia watched for a little bit, pleasuring herself with her new dildos and writhing on blood splatter which was previously the cutie mark crusaders, before stopping to give the next location of the last dildo. It's at OP's house. Apparently, they didn't even need to go through the Cum Caves, as the Dildo was not there. Instead, it was at the final area: Gannon's Cum-Filled Castle. "OP was Gannon all along!" Daring and Dash realized. They had to get to OP's castle as soon as possible, to get the final dildo, and to get the legendary dildo that would pleasure them both. FINAL AREA: OP'S CUM-FILLED CASTLE Daring and Dash stealthily sneaked pass the dildo-wielding niggers, as they progressed further and further into the castle. OP sat at his skull throne. He sensed a great force in this world... and it was getting closer by the second.. The two lovers burst through the door, and stared at OP's ugly faggot face. "GIVE US THE DILDO! NOW!" they both demanded. "Mwahahahahahahah! I will give you the dildo...FOR YOUR SOULS!" And it turned out OP was the Devil. It was time for the FINAL BOSS! Chapter VII “Wherein the OP is a colossal faggot”Daring, Dash, and The Devil's genitalia crossed, and they began to fuck. OP's laugh gurgled horridly in his throat as he rose from his seat. He began his decent from the stairs on which his throne perched till he was within spitting distance of the two ponies. His eyes burned with madness. His penis burned with gonorrhea. HINT: OP is vulnerable after he uses his faggot explosion! Attack him once he uses it! OP began building up his power, and he used the faggot explosion. Daring and Dash avoided it, and attacked him. MASSIVE DAMAGE! OP was weakened, so he sent out Nigger Minions to deal with the duo while he recharged his powers. Daring and Dash dealt with them quicker than nipples. OP came out and once again used the Faggot Explosion. The duo was weakened, but they got through it. They hit OP a final time, and he blew up, revealing the final dildo. "I'm dying." OP whispered, his innards strewn across the castle floor.... "I just didn't want to die like a faggot..." Daring stared at the collapsed king. "Dying like a faggot is your destiny. Embrace it, fag." OP died, but not before voiding his bowels and vomitting everywhere. They both grabbed the dildo, and returned to Celestia. They detonated a bomb they planted there, and OP's Cum-Filled Castle blew up. Celestia smiled. "The Legendary Dildo is yours!" Daring and Dash squealed with delight. They went home, and they did the only thing they could... TWO HOURS LATER "Mmm, yes! Fuck me more! HARDER! FASTER! OH YES! FASTERRRRRRRR- okay, maybe a little slower...." Daring Do and Rainbow Dash were having sex with the Dildo. It wasn't long before Daring cummed inside Rainbow once again. Dash had wept herself to sleep once more beside the hospital bed. There was no cure, and her love was slipping deeper and deeper into dementia. She had exhausted her lover's fortune trying to save her health, but modern Equestrian medicine could not prevent the onslaught of the diseases Daring Do had been exposed to in her many travels. Only now while the ill pony slept would her mouth cease it's constant utterance of profanities, offering terrifying glimpses into the psychotic flashes of the dying, ravaged mind. Perhaps death would be a blessing, allowing Dash to remember her love, unspoiled by the verbal diarrhea of her mate's condition. Dash solemnly refused to rob herself of any last moment of Do's company, and instead chose to comfort her crying, shouting form and whisper into her ears how much she was loved, praying against hope that she could somehow comfort the mare trapped deep within her nightmare before her looming expiry. HARDER FASTER DEEPER Dash weeped, and passed out. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Daring let out a scream, and Dash came to see what was wrong. "It was just another nightmare about you dying of cancer..." "Oh." Rainbow said. "Well, we have no time to have nightmares. The Princess has requested our presence at the castle this instant!" Daring nodded, and they ran to the Royal Kingdom of Equestria. Chapter VIII “To The Royal Kingdom”"Princess Celestia! We came as soon as we could!" Rainbow and Daring were greeted by, not Princess Celestia, but Princess Luna, having sex with a banana. “GREETINGS YOUNG FOALS WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE SO EARLY THIS FRUIT HATH SEDUCED ME HAS ANYPONY EVEN SO FAR AS DECIDED WHAT TO DO AS WITH SUCH THINGS? IT IS PUSHED AND PUT” "Um, your sister requested our presence here." Dash said. "Oh, that?" Luna asked. "That was me writing that letter, and impersonating my own sister. I actually invited you here because I have a request." "And what would this request be?" Daring asked. The old banana was brown and soft, so it kinked in the middle. Suddenly Daring Do got a painful itch at his cutie mark! "I need you to retrieve something." Luna began. "Legend tells of a great land, far away from Equestria, known as the Shit Empire. It was inhabited by the Shit Ponies. It's like the Crystal Empire, except it's covered in dog feces. In the ruins of this great land, there is a relic known as the Shit Dildo. Having sex with it will give you the powers of the Shit Ponies. I want you to find the ruins of the Shit Empire, find where the Dildo is, and bring it to me. "Alright." Daring said. "But only if you let us use it!" Dash demanded. "Fine then. Your task is set out for you. But beware...for there is a great demon that guards the Shit Dildo. If you want it, you will have to get through the demon first." "We'll be careful, Luna. We will destroy that demon, and get the Shit Dildo." "Actually, you know what? I'm not going." Rainbow decided. "WHAT?!" Daring yelled. "I'm not going to drench myself in shit for a dildo." Dash said. "But I need a partner..." Daring begged. "Sorry. You're on your own." Rainbow said, and she left the room. "DAMMIT!" Daring yelled. "Now I need a new partner! Who would be willing to help me get the Shit Dildo?" "DID SOMEBODY SAY, SHIT DILDO!?" asked the voice of a familiar pink pony. THE LEGEND OF DARING DO: OCARINA OF SHIT PRESS START Rainbow Dash suddenly had an idea. "We should get my friends to help! Except Rarity, that bitch won't go near shit. Actually, that'd be hilarious to push her into dog shit. Hah!" AREA I: SHIT MEADOWS "OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMY..." "Ugh..." moaned Daring. "Pinkie, are you really this excited to go get a dildo covered in shit?" "Well, YEAH!" Pinkie exclaimed. "I HAVE A SHIT FETISH, YOU KNOW!" "Actually, I didn't know that." Daring said. "And now I have so many bad mental images of what you and Twilight do with your free time..." "Hey, LOOK!" Pinkie yelled. They could not believe what they saw. One of OP's Nigger Minions! "Mwhahahahahahaha! I HAVE RETURNED!" a voice announced. It was the voice of OP. "What!?" Daring yelled. "I THOUGHT ME AND DASHIE KILLED YOU IN THE LAST ACT!" "I came back from the dead." OP said. "Well, I'm not going to question that. Anyways, I assume you are trying to get the Shit Dildo, too?" Daring asked. "Well, you must be psychic! That's EXACTLY what I'm looking for!" OP said. "I will harness the powers of the Shit Ponies, and use them to RULE THE WORLD!" "Well, we're going to stop you! We're going to get that Shit Dildo, and bring it to Princess Luna! Isn't that right, Pinkie?" Daring announced. "...Isn't that right, Pinkie?" Daring asked again. "...Pinkie? What are you staring at?" Daring questioned. "I'm staring at OP's beautiful face..." Pinkie moaned in delight. "What?! OP's face looks like shit!" Daring exclaimed. "Well, that's why he's so beautiful! I love shit!" Pinkie yelled. "I guess that explains it..." Daring said. Meanwhile Luna had snuck off to meet her sister. Celestia quickly glanced at her, while Luna took a seat beside her. Looking over the balcony, they watched as Daring Doo checked her maps to try to find the location of the Shit Dildo. "Did they fall for it?" Celestia said, stifling a laugh. "Big time, they think the shit dildo exists. What a bunch of fucking retards." "Still," Celestia said, surveying her subjects in the hall below, "if it'll distract them long enough for me to steal back the legendary dildo." "I love you, sis." "Don't be a faggot, Luna." Chapter IX “Endgame”FAST-FORWARDING TWENTY-FOUR HOURS INTO THE FUTURE BECAUSE THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER AND THEREFORE WE MUST HAVE HASTE FINAL AREA: THE ROYAL KINGDOM OF OP OP, now having taken over Equestria, sensed the 7 ponies drawing near. Daring, Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack. All of them were covered in cum from their journey together, but now it was time to finish it. It was time for the FINAL BOSS! (For real, this time!) "What if shit dildo was OP?" Pinkie said. Daring looked at Pinkie questioningly, then back to OP. He did look like shit. "You disgusting fuck." Daring said to Pinkie, "but you might have a point here. OP, you shit dildo, bro?" OP didn't say anything as he tried to hide his raging boner. Pinkie noticed it immediately and ripped it off with her teeth. "I FOUND IT!" she chimed, "I found the shit dildo!" "Fan-fucking-tastic. Let's go get some shit pone pussy." OP used the power of the Legendary Dildo, now the Legendary Shit Dildo, to become a monster of immense power. However, the 7 ponies harnessed the power of the Dragonchaos Emeraldballs to become the Super 7. They fucked the shit dildo, and suddenly they were transported to a world that reeked of shit. "Oh shit, nigga." Daring said, holding her breath and vomit as Pinkie began fucking everything in sight. While Celestia and Luna began to have butt-sex, Darring Do and her group faced the OP, aka Gannon. "You must die!"cried the OP, who emitted a fountain of diarrhea from his anus and into his mouth (to give him a power-boost, duh). The Super 7 destroyed the being within minutes. However, in the process, they went through the Fourth Wall, and met the people who created this fanfic: /mlp/ themselves. "Oh God, it's /mlp/." Daring said. All of them began fapping furiously to this sight. The 7 decided to have sex with them. They did. And it was great. The end. Yeah that pretty much sums it all up... EpilogueRainbow Dash awoke from her wet dream, having dreamed this entire fanfic. She decided to go and have sex with herself again. And she did. At least it’s a better love story than Twilight.
Chapter I "at least i hope it's mud"Daring Do inhaled a breath of the sticky jungle air, placing one hoof in front of the other as she trudged through the Jungle of Terror, her hooves dragging through the endless mud. Only it wasn't mud, it was an entire field full of semen. All of a sudden, a pack of wild niggers jumped out. "OOGA BOOGA, WHERE THE WHITE FILLIES AT?" they shouted. Finally she saw it, the ancient temple that must be home to the treasure the old mare at the tavern had mentioned. Daring Do tried to remain calm, lest she falter on her quest for the golden dildo. Daring was quick to fly away, because she's a fucking pegasus. The master chief came in and deliverd a pack of Doritos brand corn chips™ and Mountain dew™. Daring pulled her anti-nigger rifle out of her ass and shot the nigger menace to death. “Go away, MXleo1, no one wants you.” Then Here, alone in the wilderness, free of the reins of restrictive, civilized behavior, I, Daring Do, feel no shame in admitting I am a cum hungry slut and the pretense of hunting for ancient treasure, the lie I used to misappropiate the funds necessary to facilitate my travel to this ancient, wicked place in search of the fountain of eternal semen, the only resevoir of such perverted decadence that could ever sate my endlessly unquenchable desire in either my mouth or, dare I say, nethers for untold gallons of the pearly white substance in such great quantity that no one stallion could ever please me. "What the fuck is is with all the bull shit around here, I just want to get fucked bya gold dildo, is that so much to ask?" “Get out of here, stalker” “Holy shit I'm dying here.” Finally she reached the base of the temple, which had several rotting corpses strewn about. She immediately fucks each and every single one. If only there were such a treasure in the country of my birth, but nay, for such a tool that could bring a mare to such heights of exuberance that defy any tongue in this earth the ability to describe them, such a sinful device that would be worth far more than it's weight in gold, the leaden weight of a lover without the crushingly unbearable load of society's disapproval of such a soiree without the commitment of matrimony, truly this ancient civilization that was struck down by the divine is the home of my soul, for I fear my lusts betray me as a devil in disguise and I should do well to isolate myself in the furthest, darkest corners of the world as monsters like I are wont to do. "Alright, enough fucking around!" I put on my jacket and safari hat A dark sensation swept over Daring. Her ears twitch slightly at a faint yet close sound. She sighs, almost resignedly. "Rape Snakes. It had to be Rape Snakes."
Chapter II: "the rape snakes cometh"Daring Do began to leap about toward the temple entrance, narrowly avoiding the fangs aimed at her vagina. Leavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve Anyway Master chief then proceded to take his dick out of his asshole and start fingering his urethra Standing framed in the cavernous maw of this ancient temple to the worship of debased false gods forgotten in all but crude depiction of barbaric artwork I stare deep into the abyss before, and as the warm wet breath of this wicked construct to all my sins beacons me further and further into my damnation I fear this may be my final adventure, for I cannot shake the sensation that this is the culmination of an ancient plan set in motion with such incomprehensible foresight, and dare I say a sense of vanity on my own part, that this debased temple was constructed for me, to be the tomb of my mortal body, and as well the tomb of my soul. Daring Do realized that she is an ego-centric whore. While lost in her thoughts, she felt a sharp pain in her crotch at a raping fang tore into her, the poison- which would instantly put her into heat- well-injected into her bloodstream. Suddenly, a shitty sonic recolour OC appears As the vile serpent embraced the most wicked part of the body I was doomed to spend my mortal sentence and pumped me full of it's corrupted venom I felt a terrible pressure in my mind, and without the crushing pressure of the need to maintain face with my fellow enlightened peers I was robbed of any consequence, and with Celestia as my sole witness felt nothing but the desire to rut, my mind as warm and swollen as the cursed area between my flanks. The shitty sonic recolour OC's Medusa-like hair whips about, his lips curling into a sneer. His forked tongue darted out of his mouth as he spoke. "I've caught you at lasssssst, my pretty... Now, prepare yoursssself for a raping that will be ssssung throughout the agesssss!" "Ssslonic! I should have known it was you." Daring could only weakly mutter at this point. "Yessssss. Now... Sssssssssssssssssspread 'em." With that, several Rape Snakes did descend upon her. Daring couldn't notice that,because hundreds of eager rape snakes began to plunge into her vaginal and anal cavities. Being in heat due to the poison, Daring enjoyed the pain the hundreds of snakes wiggling in her orifices, but she bagn to feel her vaginal walls tearing from the stress. "Why can't they just hurry up and make it to my uterus?" she thought, knowing that the goal of rape snakes is to impregnate the host organisms by vomiting their eggs into their uteri. “Is it just me, or is Rainbow Dash going to love this issue?” Who do you think is writing this clopfic?
Chapter III “The Quest Continues”Lost in the fog of the damnable curse of my biologic prison I fear to admit that the snakes encountered no barrier of chastity as they made their way into my supposedly sacred private, unable to contain myself I often indulged in the savage colts of these uncivilized lands, who lived up to no great expectations and ravaged my virgin body without either a hint of shame or compassion, and in the moment of being despoiled myself I came to the horrible realization that I could not fathom how much worse the curse of lust would weigh heavily upon my countenance now that I could envision clearly the act that was previously only a wicked dream, and further that I could never share the moment with a civilizes stallion of my own breed an country, now that I was a spoiled whore unfit for marrige or even the gaze of a refined gentlecolt. Suddenly, Daring's uterus started inflating. Eternal semen you say? Yurop is saved! The pain in the most sacred part of my body that Celestia had blessed me with betrayed even through the heat of the incomprehensible pleasure of the greatest dickening of my life that I was now, beyond any doubt or prayer, damned, about to give birth to a thousand rape snakes that will issue forth from my body in a profane parody of the act of birth, and that I would be the mother to a host of lesser daemon that would be sure to torment me until my expiration of ejaculate induced dehydration. As she began to become pregnant, Daring slowly fought her way onto her feet. "You can't defeat me you re-colored sonic OC thing!" As the snakes exited her, she felt uterine fluid dripping out of her vagina. She had to act quickly before the birth of a thousand rape snake hatch-lings weighed her down to the point of immobility. Suddenly the most beautiful and strongest looking mare I had ever seen with a gorgeous mane stood proudly at the precipice of the temple entrance, majestically framed by the setting sun behind her, and in that moment I knew that even though I had never even dared in my worst times to imagine myself with another mare that the beautiful woman before me clearly contained the other half of my vile and twisted soul, and the welling embarrassment of laying prostrate and profane before helped to free me of the sweetly enslaving lust that kept my knees weak and my unmentionable widely agape. I ran up to her, kissed her on the lips, pulled out a magical flying dildo, and began assfucking her with it. Daring could make out a slight glowing light from the mare's crothc...Could it be..."The golden dildo!" cried Daring. The Sonic OC shrieked in agony as the glowing light grew brighter and burst for a beam of birght semen, overwhelming nad drowning Daring's enemy. The rape snakes slithered away at the frightening light, and Daring could feel the babies inside of her disintegrate. Smiling, she stood up and made her way to the beautiful mare. "Thank you.... I don't know how I can ever repay you! Well, actually I do but... It wouldn't really be repayment in my book..." She smiled sweetly at me and with those beautiful lips brushing my ear she whispered cloyingly, "My name is Rainbow Dash, and you are going to love me," and in that moment, with wiggling dick snakes pouring out of my, and I can't believe I'm about to say this, vagina, pouring female ejaculate and amniotic fluid down my legs and matting my tail unattractively to my flankcheeks, taunted by a monster so hideous I fear there is no civilized words capable of description, while the love of my life who I had just met and shared my very first kiss with was having her dirty anus explored with a magical dildo, that in this moment I felt so strong and safe in her arms and that everything was going to be okay, and for the first time in my life I was no longer worried about my future, for even if I was doomed to an eternal torture for my wicked conduct that at least in this fleeting mortal life I had an equally doomed mare to embrace so tightly that perhaps our souls would depart unto damnation together, and as such eternity was robbed of its heavily foreboding terror and loneliness, and to my raison d'etre I myself whispered "I love you Rainbow Dash, please rescue me and fly me to your totally awesome wicked sweet sky castle and let me be your lesbian lover forever" THEN THEY HAD BEAUTIFUL BUTTSEX BECAUSE HOLY SHIT PLOT TWIST DARING DO HAS A DICK AND NOW RAINBOW HAS BABY CALLED RAINBOW MCDICKFUCKER Ze end. She says yes and after 9001 solid weeks of non-stop fucking, they get married. The end... Or is it? BUT WAIT, IT WASN'T THE END BECAUSE THERE'S A GIANT MOTHERFUCKER DESTROYING THE EARTH SO DARING DO POWERS UP INTO SUPER DARING DO USING THE SEVEN DRAGONCHAOS EMERALDBALLS AND DEFEATS THE MONSTER AND THEN IT WAS THE END!
Chapter IV “I Want To Cum Inside Rainbow Dash”So, after that ordeal, we are now in Act II: Chapter I, and Daring Do had just gotten done cumming inside Rainbow Dash for the 20th time this week. "Dashie, where are my smokes?" "Fuck you, I threw them out, because drugs are bad." Gee, it sure is boring around here... A plot twist you say? However, as they were arguing about how Dashie was a straight-edged fuck and Daring was a drug addict, a giant dildo monster blew up the house with the power of magical tittyfuckers. "Mah boi,a peace like this is what all great warriors must strive for" Said rainbowdash. Daring shrugged."I just wonder what gannon is up to!" “Dear lover, do you not fancy yourself an athelte as do I, and do you not posses a mind capable of parsing our good Equestrian script, for if such things were true then surely you could read many an article from distinguished Doctors regarding smoking being good for your health, the only lack of consensus regarding which brand of the product is the most healthy, refreshing, or delicious, and you would never deny your lover her medicine, would you, Dashie?” All of a sudden, a pony on a magic carpet flew into the room. Suddenly, Celestia flew in on her magic carriage shaped like tits becaus lawl boobs. With a bow, she began. "My lord, gannon and his minions have captured the dildos of Equestria." Darring, much to Dash's dismay, put her hoof to her chin and asked, "What can we do?" Celstia held up a scroll with random, illegible scrawlings written on it. "It is written, only Daring can defeat gannon" Dear lover, Yes, I would read many an article for you from distinguished Doctors regarding smoking being good for your healt- oh wait there aren't any fuck you in the asshole you piece of shit now come over here and cum inside of my pussy Your faithful cumdumpster, Rainbow Dash P.S.: Kill yourself I AM SATAN, AND I HAVE TRIPS YOU DO NOT HAVE TRIPS, YOU HAVE SHITTY DUBS, SO FUCK YOU With Dashie dead, Darring turned to Celestia forher next adventure. "Great, I'llgrab my stuff!" Celestia shook her head. "There is no time, your dildo will be enough. Though, that huge butt plug you have in right now... I'd keep that if I were you, to protect your plot." “Oh fuck I got dubs when I typed that shit” THE LEGEND OF DARING DO: DARING'S ADVENTURE PRESS START “Am I just lucky, or is getting dubs my cutie mark?” No matter, this will be added to the fanfic anyways, just to confuse people when they read it when it's done when it's done when they say when it's done. Darring leapt down some random place to start killing shit by blasting it with her golden dildo. She saw a captured dildo and one of Gannon's minions- a giant nigger- guarding it. The nigger was wielding a weapon that no other could match - The Ancient Purple Dildo of Sexiness! "I MUST HAVE THAT! FUCK THE DILDO IN THE CAGE, THAT IS THE GREATEST DILDO OF ALL TIME! I WILL PLEASURE MYSELF SO HARD WITH IT!" Daring screamed. Daring blasted at the nigger,but the golden cum was useless. "Hah, youve met your match Darring! Ganon sends his regards!" With that, he jabbed the dildo at Daring's rear, but it bounced out, blocked by her giant butt plug. "WHAT?! NOOOOO!" The nigger yelled as the dildo reflected off the buttplug and went right into the nigger's penishole, causing immense amounts of pain, and making the nigger kill himself. Daring completely ignored the dildo in the cage, and instead went right for the Ancient Dildo, and began having sex with herself with it. “Daring DON'T!” Celestia appeared out of nowhere. "Daring you dumb cunt, you need to save the other dildos, otherwise Ganon will rape all of Equestria!" Seeing that Daring is a self-centered whore, Celestia came up with an idea... "Daring, if you get all of the dildos back, I will reward you with a legendary dildo that defies all means of traditional pleasure."
Chapter V “The Legendary Dildo”"Alright then!" said Daring Do, and she freed the dildo from the cage, and gave it to Celestia. "Now, GO GET MORE DILDOS! NOW!" Celestia exclaimed, and she flew off, pleasuring herself with the dildo all the way home. Daring Doo tried to stop her vaginal fluids from dripping all over the place. She failed. "Hm, where should I go next, Cum Caves, Butt Bluff, Candy-Vag Cove, The Penis Pillars, or Fart-Fetish Forest?" "I think I'll go to The Penis Pillars!" AREA II: PENIS PILLARS As Daring Do walked up the stairs to the first Pillar, she looked at the beautiful land below her, with people having buttsex everywhere. "Giant cocks spurting fountains of cum... Better watch out for the cock-eating whores this place is known for!" Daring nimbly hopped around, nearing the captured dildo, but suddenly she slipped on some cum and fell down below. She gulped, as a horde of hungry hungry hippo whores awaited her, there sharp, cum-dripping, dick-shaped fangs bared at her. By the way, the whores look like a conglomerate of boobs growing off of a penis. However, instead of feeling danger, Daring felt quite aroused, and let the giant hippos penetrate her pussy, Daring tried to beat her wings to fly away, but the sky was eclipsed by thousands of penises blocking out the sun. She had two choices; try to burst through the circle jerk of the Gods or to try to fuck the hippos into submission. "If only if Celestia didn't fuck off with that dildo!" Daring Doo cursed to herself. Being the slut that she is, she decided to fuck the hippos. The sex scene was as followsdokppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppasiojdsgnhjfdldhjfdljhdfkldsjfkljslkjlfksj dsldjldjanjkhgfkjfdhakjgffdlhj AND THAT'S HOW SHE ESCAPED AND GOT THE SECOND DILDO! She climbed down into the pit, and starting humping. She kept on going and going, until the hippo she was attempt to fuck, kicked her out. She was K.O.'ed, and she had no choice, but to continue. The pit was deep, and it's walls were flat, and had no rocks formed on it, so she had to. AREA III: FART-FETISH FOREST Daring was cautious, as the air was filled with steamy diarrhea farts. Daring takes a big intake of shitty fart air. "Reminds me of scootaloo" "Did somepony say SCOOTALOO?" Daring Doo swallowed all the cock custard she could but the never ending streams of semen began to fill up the pit. Every time Daring Doo gasped for breath another penis was shoved into her mouth. Further and further she was pushed down into the rape cave... further and further away from the Penis Pillar. "SCOOTALOO?! IS THAT YOU?!" Daring screamed Daring turned around to find Scootaloo. "What the Hell are you doing here, you cum-guzzler?" Daring asked. "Me and the others decided to help you!" Scootaloo said, and out came the other two CMC, covered in cum. "Let me guess: You're trying to get your cutie marks by helping me?" Do asked. "YEAH! CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ADVENTURERS!" all three of them exclaimed. "CUTIE CUM CRUSADERS!" Sweetie giggled whilst being violently penetrated by 2 hippos. “What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.” The three fillies ducked and dived their way through the writhing hippo orgy. Daring followed nervously. Last time she had accepted their help, she had ended up in some rainbow pony's basement. She had only escaped when the rainbow pone left to get more dragon dildos. "See? Told ya I knew the way out!" Scootaloo said, as Daring was hit by the blinding light from the entrance. Daring rubbed her eyes in shock. She could hardly believe what she was standing face to face with.
Chapter VI “The Plot Thickens”God himself was standing right in front of Daring Doo! "I am God, and I have come to cum." All of a sudden, Daring was bended over, and raped, as God vomited on top of her back as she begged for more. I'm going to Hell for writing that, aren't I? God backhanded the cutie mark crusaders, reducing them to a fine red mist that caked Daring Doo from top to bottom. She could see God was nearly ready for another round- the blood had got him going even more. She knew she could't survive another rape. Daring had to think fast. All of a sudden, she realized that it was OBLIGATORY BOSS BATTLE TIME! "Look god, donations!" Daring screamed as she was released from God's almighty cock. YOU GOT OFF THE COCK! HIT GOD IN HIS COCK FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE! Wild Niggers appear! She ran through the Wild Niggers and pulled out a machinegun from out of nowhere, and began to shoot God in his massive penis. The bullets penetrated God's penishole, and God decided to let Daring go, as long as she read the Bible every day. Daring said "FUCK YOUR BIBLE!" and ended God's life, becoming the new God. She went into another room where she found the third dildo, and she grabbed it, and went on to the next area. The wild niggers set about God and begun to steal everything they could grab from God's pockets and began their own personal quest to ruin the english language. AREA IV: CUM CAVES As Daring walked through the caves, she found paintings from ancient Cavecolts, drawn with dried cum. One painting, however, caught her eye... In it was a shitty recolor of Daring Doo, except it had blue skin, and instead of her grey mane there was a rainbow one replacing it. Daring tried not to vomit in disgust. Then, she realized, "Wait, that's my lovely DASHIE!" She turned around to find Rainbow Dash, alive and well, and then she cummed inside her for the first time in days. Just as the legends stated, wherever there is horse fucking, there is Princess Celestia. "Hey, fuck face... Hey, rainbow fuck face... where are my dildos already?" Princess Celestia asked as she flew down over the rotting corpse of God. “YOU NIGGAS BEST NOT BE USING THEM, YA HEAR?” "Right here, Your Highness." Daring said as she gave the dildos she had collected so far. Rainbow Dash yelled "Hey, wait, you've been collecting dildos without me?!" "Let me join!" Daring decided to let Dashie join, as even though they hated each other, they also loved each other, and Daring could not stop cumming inside Dash with that big cock of her's. “TRIPS AGAIN I AM THE GREATEST THING EVER” Celestia watched for a little bit, pleasuring herself with her new dildos and writhing on blood splatter which was previously the cutie mark crusaders, before stopping to give the next location of the last dildo. It's at OP's house. Apparently, they didn't even need to go through the Cum Caves, as the Dildo was not there. Instead, it was at the final area: Gannon's Cum-Filled Castle. "OP was Gannon all along!" Daring and Dash realized. They had to get to OP's castle as soon as possible, to get the final dildo, and to get the legendary dildo that would pleasure them both. FINAL AREA: OP'S CUM-FILLED CASTLE Daring and Dash stealthily sneaked pass the dildo-wielding niggers, as they progressed further and further into the castle. OP sat at his skull throne. He sensed a great force in this world... and it was getting closer by the second.. The two lovers burst through the door, and stared at OP's ugly faggot face. "GIVE US THE DILDO! NOW!" they both demanded. "Mwahahahahahahah! I will give you the dildo...FOR YOUR SOULS!" And it turned out OP was the Devil. It was time for the FINAL BOSS!
Chapter VII “Wherein the OP is a colossal faggot”Daring, Dash, and The Devil's genitalia crossed, and they began to fuck. OP's laugh gurgled horridly in his throat as he rose from his seat. He began his decent from the stairs on which his throne perched till he was within spitting distance of the two ponies. His eyes burned with madness. His penis burned with gonorrhea. HINT: OP is vulnerable after he uses his faggot explosion! Attack him once he uses it! OP began building up his power, and he used the faggot explosion. Daring and Dash avoided it, and attacked him. MASSIVE DAMAGE! OP was weakened, so he sent out Nigger Minions to deal with the duo while he recharged his powers. Daring and Dash dealt with them quicker than nipples. OP came out and once again used the Faggot Explosion. The duo was weakened, but they got through it. They hit OP a final time, and he blew up, revealing the final dildo. "I'm dying." OP whispered, his innards strewn across the castle floor.... "I just didn't want to die like a faggot..." Daring stared at the collapsed king. "Dying like a faggot is your destiny. Embrace it, fag." OP died, but not before voiding his bowels and vomitting everywhere. They both grabbed the dildo, and returned to Celestia. They detonated a bomb they planted there, and OP's Cum-Filled Castle blew up. Celestia smiled. "The Legendary Dildo is yours!" Daring and Dash squealed with delight. They went home, and they did the only thing they could... TWO HOURS LATER "Mmm, yes! Fuck me more! HARDER! FASTER! OH YES! FASTERRRRRRRR- okay, maybe a little slower...." Daring Do and Rainbow Dash were having sex with the Dildo. It wasn't long before Daring cummed inside Rainbow once again. Dash had wept herself to sleep once more beside the hospital bed. There was no cure, and her love was slipping deeper and deeper into dementia. She had exhausted her lover's fortune trying to save her health, but modern Equestrian medicine could not prevent the onslaught of the diseases Daring Do had been exposed to in her many travels. Only now while the ill pony slept would her mouth cease it's constant utterance of profanities, offering terrifying glimpses into the psychotic flashes of the dying, ravaged mind. Perhaps death would be a blessing, allowing Dash to remember her love, unspoiled by the verbal diarrhea of her mate's condition. Dash solemnly refused to rob herself of any last moment of Do's company, and instead chose to comfort her crying, shouting form and whisper into her ears how much she was loved, praying against hope that she could somehow comfort the mare trapped deep within her nightmare before her looming expiry. HARDER FASTER DEEPER Dash weeped, and passed out. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Daring let out a scream, and Dash came to see what was wrong. "It was just another nightmare about you dying of cancer..." "Oh." Rainbow said. "Well, we have no time to have nightmares. The Princess has requested our presence at the castle this instant!" Daring nodded, and they ran to the Royal Kingdom of Equestria.
Chapter VIII “To The Royal Kingdom”"Princess Celestia! We came as soon as we could!" Rainbow and Daring were greeted by, not Princess Celestia, but Princess Luna, having sex with a banana. “GREETINGS YOUNG FOALS WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE SO EARLY THIS FRUIT HATH SEDUCED ME HAS ANYPONY EVEN SO FAR AS DECIDED WHAT TO DO AS WITH SUCH THINGS? IT IS PUSHED AND PUT” "Um, your sister requested our presence here." Dash said. "Oh, that?" Luna asked. "That was me writing that letter, and impersonating my own sister. I actually invited you here because I have a request." "And what would this request be?" Daring asked. The old banana was brown and soft, so it kinked in the middle. Suddenly Daring Do got a painful itch at his cutie mark! "I need you to retrieve something." Luna began. "Legend tells of a great land, far away from Equestria, known as the Shit Empire. It was inhabited by the Shit Ponies. It's like the Crystal Empire, except it's covered in dog feces. In the ruins of this great land, there is a relic known as the Shit Dildo. Having sex with it will give you the powers of the Shit Ponies. I want you to find the ruins of the Shit Empire, find where the Dildo is, and bring it to me. "Alright." Daring said. "But only if you let us use it!" Dash demanded. "Fine then. Your task is set out for you. But beware...for there is a great demon that guards the Shit Dildo. If you want it, you will have to get through the demon first." "We'll be careful, Luna. We will destroy that demon, and get the Shit Dildo." "Actually, you know what? I'm not going." Rainbow decided. "WHAT?!" Daring yelled. "I'm not going to drench myself in shit for a dildo." Dash said. "But I need a partner..." Daring begged. "Sorry. You're on your own." Rainbow said, and she left the room. "DAMMIT!" Daring yelled. "Now I need a new partner! Who would be willing to help me get the Shit Dildo?" "DID SOMEBODY SAY, SHIT DILDO!?" asked the voice of a familiar pink pony. THE LEGEND OF DARING DO: OCARINA OF SHIT PRESS START Rainbow Dash suddenly had an idea. "We should get my friends to help! Except Rarity, that bitch won't go near shit. Actually, that'd be hilarious to push her into dog shit. Hah!" AREA I: SHIT MEADOWS "OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMY..." "Ugh..." moaned Daring. "Pinkie, are you really this excited to go get a dildo covered in shit?" "Well, YEAH!" Pinkie exclaimed. "I HAVE A SHIT FETISH, YOU KNOW!" "Actually, I didn't know that." Daring said. "And now I have so many bad mental images of what you and Twilight do with your free time..." "Hey, LOOK!" Pinkie yelled. They could not believe what they saw. One of OP's Nigger Minions! "Mwhahahahahahaha! I HAVE RETURNED!" a voice announced. It was the voice of OP. "What!?" Daring yelled. "I THOUGHT ME AND DASHIE KILLED YOU IN THE LAST ACT!" "I came back from the dead." OP said. "Well, I'm not going to question that. Anyways, I assume you are trying to get the Shit Dildo, too?" Daring asked. "Well, you must be psychic! That's EXACTLY what I'm looking for!" OP said. "I will harness the powers of the Shit Ponies, and use them to RULE THE WORLD!" "Well, we're going to stop you! We're going to get that Shit Dildo, and bring it to Princess Luna! Isn't that right, Pinkie?" Daring announced. "...Isn't that right, Pinkie?" Daring asked again. "...Pinkie? What are you staring at?" Daring questioned. "I'm staring at OP's beautiful face..." Pinkie moaned in delight. "What?! OP's face looks like shit!" Daring exclaimed. "Well, that's why he's so beautiful! I love shit!" Pinkie yelled. "I guess that explains it..." Daring said. Meanwhile Luna had snuck off to meet her sister. Celestia quickly glanced at her, while Luna took a seat beside her. Looking over the balcony, they watched as Daring Doo checked her maps to try to find the location of the Shit Dildo. "Did they fall for it?" Celestia said, stifling a laugh. "Big time, they think the shit dildo exists. What a bunch of fucking retards." "Still," Celestia said, surveying her subjects in the hall below, "if it'll distract them long enough for me to steal back the legendary dildo." "I love you, sis." "Don't be a faggot, Luna."
Chapter IX “Endgame”FAST-FORWARDING TWENTY-FOUR HOURS INTO THE FUTURE BECAUSE THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER AND THEREFORE WE MUST HAVE HASTE FINAL AREA: THE ROYAL KINGDOM OF OP OP, now having taken over Equestria, sensed the 7 ponies drawing near. Daring, Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack. All of them were covered in cum from their journey together, but now it was time to finish it. It was time for the FINAL BOSS! (For real, this time!) "What if shit dildo was OP?" Pinkie said. Daring looked at Pinkie questioningly, then back to OP. He did look like shit. "You disgusting fuck." Daring said to Pinkie, "but you might have a point here. OP, you shit dildo, bro?" OP didn't say anything as he tried to hide his raging boner. Pinkie noticed it immediately and ripped it off with her teeth. "I FOUND IT!" she chimed, "I found the shit dildo!" "Fan-fucking-tastic. Let's go get some shit pone pussy." OP used the power of the Legendary Dildo, now the Legendary Shit Dildo, to become a monster of immense power. However, the 7 ponies harnessed the power of the Dragonchaos Emeraldballs to become the Super 7. They fucked the shit dildo, and suddenly they were transported to a world that reeked of shit. "Oh shit, nigga." Daring said, holding her breath and vomit as Pinkie began fucking everything in sight. While Celestia and Luna began to have butt-sex, Darring Do and her group faced the OP, aka Gannon. "You must die!"cried the OP, who emitted a fountain of diarrhea from his anus and into his mouth (to give him a power-boost, duh). The Super 7 destroyed the being within minutes. However, in the process, they went through the Fourth Wall, and met the people who created this fanfic: /mlp/ themselves. "Oh God, it's /mlp/." Daring said. All of them began fapping furiously to this sight. The 7 decided to have sex with them. They did. And it was great. The end. Yeah that pretty much sums it all up...
EpilogueRainbow Dash awoke from her wet dream, having dreamed this entire fanfic. She decided to go and have sex with herself again. And she did. At least it’s a better love story than Twilight.
