//-------------------------------------------------------// Where is the hope, when you need it? -by Alexandria Stellar- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Prologue: It never solves anything //-------------------------------------------------------// Prologue: It never solves anything Red. That's all I see. Red drips down my legs. Red is all I want to see anyways. And that pain. Seering and enjoyable. I love it all so much. I almost don't want to stop. I figured out how to drag the blade across my legs using my mouth to grip the handle. It's a kitchen knife. Not a big butcher knife though. For the seventh time as I drag that silver, glistening razor against my skin, splitting it open as it dyes the fur around it a deep hue of red, I hear a knock at the door. But I think nothing of it, it should be locked. Boy was I wrong about that. That shy, pastel yellow pony poked her head in. At first, it seemed as if she couldn't see anything. But as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of my house, she squeaked in shrill horror and stumbled backwards. And oh my, was she afraid. As she was stumbling, she tripped over something I'd left on the floor. Another loud yelp and she hit the floor. As she sat up, dazed and confused, she stared at me in horror. Oh Fluttershy, you'll never understand. But something crossed her eyes, and I could tell it was that frightening ferocity she got sometimes. She stood up, without shaking off the dirt, and came over to me, ripping the knife from my mouth with her own, and flinging it behind her. "You know that doesn't fix anything!" She yelled. I was afraid for myself. But I was becoming weak slowly, lightheaded. I think she could tell because she raised her hoof to my shoulder to support me, and stared me in the eyes. "Dash, I never thought I'd find you here alone. Usually you've got a friend over...I know bad things have been happening. But you know that cutting never solves anything. You learned that when you were a filly and your mom passed. Like your dad was there for you at that time, I'm here for you now. Please, Dashie." Her voice was filled with pleading. I almost felt bad for her. Having to see me in this condition, covered in blood from the legs down. She even saw me dragging the knife. I don't think she deserved to see any of that. "Dashie..." she sounded worried. "Dashie stay with me now! Rainbow Dash!" I must have fainted then, because that was the last thing I heard or remembered. I guess she was right. It doesn't fix anything. //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter 1: Things get better //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter 1: Things get better Two weeks later. I wake up in the hospital. I don't remember anything. After awhile, feeling returns to my body. At first, I don't expect it. But a strong sense of pleasure soon shows itself to me. I glance behind me and realize Fluttershy is massaging my wings. She smiles when she sees I'm awake. "You fainted. You were out a long time..." Her soft, gentle voice soothes me, but the hotness doesn't go away. "Fluttershy...st-stop rubbing my wings..." I whimper. She realizes what state I'm in and stops immediately. She moves her hooves away from my wings and grins sheepishly. "I'm so glad you're awake. You lost quite a lot of blood. We thought you were in a coma, I was worried, as was Nurse Redheart." She frowns. "Good thing you weren't comatose...I don't know what I'd do without you..." She blushes. She's oddly cute right now. I realize what went through my head and looked away, ashamed of myself. Why? Why was I falling for the most innocent pony. I glanced back over at her. She was still blushing. "Fluttershy, what's up?" Fluttershy squeaked and backed away, as if I'd hurt her. "Shy, what's wrong?" I sat up and watched her. "Well...I...uh..." she lowered her head submissively. "Over the past two weeks while you were out..." I listened to her carefully. "I realized how much I really liked you..." she glanced up at me and whimpered. "But...you're not the type of pony who'd like a shy filly like me..." She looked away again, and I reached a hoof out to her. "I'm glad you really care about me..." I said. But truth was, she was right. I was interested in Spitfire. And Spitfire seemed to like me back. "But you're right..." I finally said. "I like Spitfire, not you...I'm sorry..." I whispered. I felt worse than I had already. I arched an eyebrow as a strong pang of guilt hit me. I never felt guilt, why was I feeling it now? Maybe I did like Fluttershy. Just a bit. She stared at me for a long time, silent. "Wait...Shy..." I kept quiet in case anybody heard us. "Fluttershy...I feel..." She watched me. My voice shook. "I feel odd right now..." I said shakily. "Like I just lied to you..." she tilted her head sideways. "What do you mean, Dash?" she asked me, confused. "I mean to say..." I facehoofed. "I guess..." I couldn't say it. "I guess I kinda like you too, Fluttershy..." she perked her ears and sat up on her haunches. "Really!?" her smile. It made me feel...warm inside. Like butterflies (heh) were swarming inside of me. I liked the feeling. I think it was...happiness... "Yeah, I'm not joking..." She jumped up carefully onto the bed and nuzzled me. It was unexpected, and sent a jolt of surprise down my back. "Fluttershy! Watch out. You almost stepped on my leg." I warned her, giggling slightly. I giggled. I hadn't done that in awhile. She grinned when she heard it. "Dashie! You must be better now!" At the mention of being better, everything froze, and my heart collapsed. "Yeah...better." I whispered. "Dashie?" the pastel yellow pony looked into my eyes, concerned. "You tensed up, is something wrong?" "...I don't think I'm any better..." I said forlornly, sighing. "Not yet at least..." "Oh Dash, you're so tense..." Her voice was a mere whisper now. She made me sit up, and placed her hooves on my wings again. "I thought I told you to-mmmm....." she started rubbing her hooves in small circles around the middle of my wings. An enormous rush of pleasure surged through me. "Ohhh, Fluttershy...." I cooed, blushing. She smiled. "Yes, Rainbow Dash?" "Fluttershy, I think I am a bit tense....could you fix that?" a devious smirk had fit to my muzzle, and she knew what I meant. She nodded. "Oh, I'm sure I can." She leaned in, and our lips met. My tongue slipped into her mouth. I felt a wonderful rush of warmth down in my treasure trove. I let out a moan in her mouth, and pulled away. "Fluttershy....I need you..." I whimpered again. She drew her hoof down my chest, and stopped at my entrance. I never expected her, of all ponies, to be doing this. Things were definitely getting better for me. //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter 3: Spitfire visits //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter 3: Spitfire visits The next day, Nurse Redheart wandered into the room to find me limp on the floor, scalpel next to my head. I had collapsed yet again from blood loss, and was on the verge of death this time. She gasped and rushed to my side, pressing the button on the bedside to call for the doctor. He rushed in and sat me up to get my blood moving again. The cuts had sealed over since they weren't as deep as the first set. Thankfully. A few minutes afterwards, I woke up and stared at them for a few seconds before everything made sense again and I realized what had happened last night. I was both embarrassed and ashamed of myself. "Rainbow Dash! We were going to let you out today. I guess you're still in good enough conditions to be sent home anyways....right, Doctor?" Nurse looked over at him. He merely nodded and helped me up. "Pack your things and you can go. Be careful next time, sport." He said to me, nudging me to my bed. I didn't say anything, just grabbed the few things I'd had with me, and galloped out as fast as I could without feeling the pain. As I wandered back home, I thought to myself why I'd made Fluttershy run. Wasn't she comfortable with what we were doing, or had she known I was using her? Oddly enough, I had a feeling she'd still be partially on Twilight's side, because she and all of them, know my ways. I jumped up and flew the rest of the way, not expecting to come crashing into Spitfire. "Whoa!! Hey there, Dash. Why're your legs wrapped up?" She took awhile to get the picture, and shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts a bit. "Whoa there, Nelly. Before you go in, let me search through your saddlebags." She raised a hoof. I backed away. "Uh. No....you can't-" she forcefully stripped me of the bags and dug through them, pulling out three scalpels and a surgery knife. "NO." She stared at me. I sighed. "I'm sorry....it's just...everything is so blurry now..." I looked away from her fierce orange eyes, unable to see how furious she was. It hurt. "Dash, c'mon. Don't you have friends-" I broke down crying. "NO. Friends don't exist to me! They all left me because I'm such a big fucking failure!! I deserve to die!!" I moved towards the edge of the big cloud my home sat on. "You can't stop me if I tried right now, no way." I stared up at her, tears streaming down my cheeks, catching in my fur. "Sure I can. I'm a Wonderbolt. That's why I came here. I thought we needed an extra member.." The surprise caught in my throat. My knees buckled, and I fell sideways, off the cloud. I didn't have enough time to react. It seemed like the ground was coming at me at the speed of sound. I shrieked, but suddenly, I was floating. I had landed on top of Spitfire. She'd saved me. She cared that much about me to save me. "Why do you want me to join the Wonderbolts, I'm nothing special." "But you are the fastest flier in Equestria, aren't you? That's plenty special for my tastes." I blushed. I was special. To Spitfire! Suddenly it seemed like things were getting way better. "Kid, your cheeks are redder than fire." She smirked. "You gotta little crush on me or somethin'?" She sidled over to me, arching her eyebrows and touching her muzzle to mine. "I think I'm going to like you more than I expected, sport." She slipped her tongue over my mouth, and flew away, leaving me to get ready. Instead, I fell sideways and lay there, staring blankly ahead as if I were an immobile pony. She'd kissed me. Spitfire had kissed me. //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter 2: Wetness is the best //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter 2: Wetness is the best I moaned in approval, and Fluttershy pushed her hoof in slightly. I felt both pain and pleasure, but the pain soon vanished. She rubbed in circles, causing me to thrust against her hoof. She knew I was enjoying it a lot, so she removed her hoof, and bent over, pressing her muzzle up against my pleasure spot. The reaction I gave, a loud moan, caused her to giggle. The giggle vibrated my clit, and I moaned louder. Her tongue swiped over my wet pussy, and I arched my back in pure pleasure. Her tongue pushed into my pussy, and against my sweet spot. I yelled out, blushing deeply. "Fluttershy!!! YES!!" I thrusted against her muzzle, groaning and feeling a sudden rush of wetness and warmth. I was hitting climax, about to orgasm messily. "FUTASHY! I'M ABOUT TO-" before I could finish my sentence, I came. She looked up, dripping the warm, white liquid from her muzzle. "You called me Futashy...." she said, licking her muzzle clean. "Why?" "Nevermind that, you missed a spot." I grinned, and licked her cheek. She giggled softly, and nuzzled me. "Your turn." I whispered. Fluttershy blushed even more, and stayed still. "Um..." she glanced down. After a few minutes, she got up, and ran. That was all I saw of her for the rest of the day. For the night, all I dreamed about was her and Spitfire, but mostly Spitfire. And I realized, I'd lied to Fluttershy. I didn't love her. I just wanted her to pleasure me, and that made me feel even worse than before. I got up, and out of my bed. I trotted over to one of the drawers, and pulled it open. There was only a scalpel in it, and I grabbed it with my mouth and raised my hoof. Dragging the scalpel along my leg, I felt that warm, red liquid splash out. Yes. Feeling that wet feeling anywhere made me feel so pleasured!