Snack Mix

by Troll

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 994

Sometimes humans go to Equestria. Sometimes a snack does.

Cheez-its find their way into Equestria. They assimilate into pony culture, but an ominous cloud looms. Pringles have arrived in Equestria.

Published 2013-06-28 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-28 18:20:02 UTC

Snack Mix

"Finally."

The boy swiveled in his swivel chair, cherishing the swiveling that his swivel chair allowed him to do.

"Swivel," said the boy, as he swiveled. Swiveling was his favorite activity that involved swiveling.

While swiveling, the boy passed his computer mid-swivel and tapped the enter key, causing multiple lights to turn on and a small humming noise to come out of a nearby box that was hooked up to the computer. The box flashed multiple red lights and vibrated as the boy swiveled back to his computer and typed in the encoder password before swiveling back to look at the box. Slowly but surely, a small black portal was opening up.

"Finally!" yelled the boy, "My cross-dimensional portal is finished!" He laughed maniacally and celebrated as the portal opened to full size. He swiveled back to his computer and typed in the intended coordinates for his portal to lead to. After some fine adjustments, the portal was ready to be used.

He stuck a camera on a pole into the portal to be sure that what laid inside was indeed his intended destination. It was. He pulled the camera out and flung his arms out in celebration, his life work finally complete. While his arms extended, he swiveled heartily in his chair, but before he could stop himself, he knocked over a box of cheez-itz into the portal. Almost instantaneously, the portal zapped the cheez-itz to the location and shut, forever, having reached max capacity for objects allowed in. The boy stared, dumbfounded. He cried silently whilst he swiveled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ugh, my head hurts."

"Tell me about it, I feel like someone threw a brick at my face."

"What face?"

"What?"

"You don't have a face."

"Yes I do, it's right... what the..."

"Ha, see, you're just a little cracker!"

"So are you!"

The two cheez-itz rubbed their hands all over their super cheezy bodies (and faces), unsure of what was going on. The rest of the box, and the teared open bag, lay nearby, multiple cheez-itz groaning in pain from the perilous fall.

One of the cheez-itz who had already gotten up sighed.

"Everything is going to fine, we just need to figure out where we are."

"This sign says 'Ponyville'," said one of the cheez-itz.

"Very well," said another, "Let's find something to eat in this 'Ponyville', I'm famished.

The cheez-its agreed and after helping all their brethren out of the bag, they walked over into the town. Looking around, all they saw were ponies, who stared at them as if they were aliens.

"What are these things?" asked one of the cheez-itz.

"Ponies," said another, "A species of animal. This must be their town."

One of the cheez-itz approached a pony. "Excuse me, can you tell me where the nearest eating establishment is?"

"Of course," she replied, "It's just off WHAT THE HELL?!"

The pony took off, galloping far away, turning back to make sure the cheez-itz were not chasing her.

"Well that was rude."

"Guys quiet," said one of the crackers. "Listen."

"But we don't have ears."

"Shut up."

The cheez-itz listened carefully, and sure enough they heard footsteps.

"Do you recognize those footsteps?" asked the cheez-it who had previously told them to listen.

"Yah, isn't that pringles?"

The cheez-it who had previously told them to listen nodded, "Indeed it is."

With that, the cheez-itz ran forth to get a look at what they thought were pringles, their sworn snack enemy.

"Should we kill them?" asked the cheez-it who had previously told them to listen and then nodded and had confirmed the identity of the footsteps as being pringles.

"Yes." The other cheez-itz stood ready to fight.

"Alright then," saidthe cheez-it who had previously told them to listen and then nodded and had confirmed the identity of the footsteps as being pringles, "Let's do this."

The cheez-itz charged from their hiding place behind a building and ambushed the pringles. Caught off guard, the pringles retreated instantly. Luckily the cheez-its grabbed them, one by one, and brutally murdered them by stabbing their center with a sharp spear, cracking them.

"What do you want from us?" asked a pringle.

"Justice!" yelled the cheez-it who had previously told the other cheez-itz to listen and then nodded and had confirmed the identity of the footsteps as being pringles.

The pringle smiled, "But it's too late, look around."

The cheez-it looked around.

"All the ponies are gone, where did they go?"

The cheez-it shrugged.

"They are being held captive in Canterlot, soon to become snacks. Cheetos, get these fools!"

Cheetos jumped down from the roofs.

"What the-" said the cheez-it.

The cheetos placed bags over the cheez-itz heads and pulled them away while the leader pringle laughed maniacally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Light streamed into the cheez-itz eyes, hurting them, causing him to squint. The face of a pringle appeared.

"Hello cheez-itz,. welcome to Canterlot."

The cheez-it who had previously told the other cheez-itz to listen and then nodded and had confirmed the identity of the footsteps as being pringles looked around, they were in a palace room.

Next to the pringle was a large pony, with both wings and a horn, and long, flowing, rainbow hair.

"See this pony?" said the pringle, the other pringles snickering behind him, "This pony is the leader and guardian of this world, Princess Celestia."

The cheez-itz struggled in their seats to help the poor princess. She was muffled and tied up, unable to do anything.

The pringled unsheathed a sword, admiring it's sharp edges for a moment. When she is dead, pringles will rule this wretched land, and all you cheez-itz will die a fiery death.

Princess Celestia began to cry, struggling within her binds.

The cheez-itz were all bound to chairs, unable to watch.

The leader pringle smiled and stabbed Celestia with the sword and she died.

"The end," said the pringle, lighting the castle on fire.

Author's Note

This is pure, utter shit.