Log Ten - Chapter Nine - Part One

Sleeping is quite refreshing, it revitalizes the body and mind.  I tend to find myself quickly tempered and act before rationally thinking most of the time.  That would be a viable reason why I eat food with a dash of my secret sauce every day.  Its potent contents put me in a better mood.  However, I realized this morning when everything became FUBAR that I completely forgot to take some.  Thankfully, having an or two of undisturbed sleep alternatively helps throw the cares away.  Rarely it does, though.  But hey, not everything works the way you intend it.

After some time, around an hour or more-ish, a chilling breeze swept by and shivered me awake.  I started the awakening routine as the per norm; a wide and simple stretch, followed by a vigorous yawn.  I idly scratched the itchiness off my back as I sat upright, eyes still closed, and arched my neck for a crackling pop or two.  I stretched my legs lazily outward to purge the stiffness, until all of a sudden my right leg's muscles tightened, thus snapping me to a full-awake state.

"Crap!" I immediately yelped, my eyes shooting wide open from pain.  I instinctively grasped the part of the leg where the cramp was, massaging it to soothe the pain a little bit.  Through gritted teeth, I cried out, "Charley horse!  Charley horse," and kept gently stroking the calf muscles for a solid minute or two.  Soon the cramping torture finally had came to an end.  "Damn these cramps..." I bitterly grumbled.

While waking up with a bad cramp wasn't what I expected, sleeping did manage to help ease my anger a little bit.  Pondering, I felt that I had been somewhat harsh with the whole speculation of Discord going back to his evil ways.  I mean, Discord once admitted that being reformed wasn't as bad as he turned it out to be.  And I could tell he was pretty sincere on that statement, so maybe my anger got the better of me.

For the second time, though, a cold wind gusted by, catching me off guard.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach.  "Jeez, when did it get a bit windy all of a sudden?  Not to mention freezing."

An unknown sense told me to look up, so I did.  To my little surprise, there was the sky -- crystal clean and blue as it ever is -- and not a sign of a particular canopy of a willow tree that was supposed to be shading me from the sun's rays could be seen anywhere.  Then, an annoying honking noise of a duck's quacking was heard not too far, and I turned to the wailer's whereabouts.  There the obnoxious foul was, blissfully flying through the air solo, soaring along until the feathered fellow flew beyond my field of vision.  Never to be seen again.

I swiveled my view back to front and arched a confused brow.  'What on Earth would a duck be flying so low to the grou-' my train of thought was then halted when realization dawned on me.  'The *lake*, it's gone!'

Mouth agape, I stared directly at the scene where the lake should had been, trying to figure out what in blue blazes was happening here.  My hand reached for the ground, and for a very bizarre reason I felt something cold, yet incredibly soft.  Like fluffy soft.  If I'd known better, I'd known that mud isn't supposed to feel this kind of soft.  Mud is all yucky and thick and not all pleasant to touch.  To me, anyway.  This was neither of those things but instead very smooth and delicate to the slightest touch.

I grabbed hold of whatever it was and lifted it up.  The stuff on the surface of my palm was snowy white and puffy-looking, similar to that of a cotton ball, with lumpy outlines.  Scrutinizing it furtherly, I noticed that it was...

'A piece of... cloud?'

Peculiar indeed.  It would be as if I'm implying that I'm sitting on a cloud.  A human, on a cloud made out of nothing but mist which that is water?  Why that's about as absurd as a child believing there's a pot of gold at an end of a rainbow.  How utterly ridiculous does that sound.  Not to mention impossible.

But in a magical world where there's talking pastel-colored ponies, griffons, dragons and every other fairy-tale creature anyone could think of, I'd be afraid to say that the impossibilities may become possibilities.  And sure enough, I leaned over to see that the lake was below me.  Way, way, way below me...

Acting nonchalantly, I added up the list, "So I'm sitting helplessly on a cloud, which is miles high off the ground, with no idea as to how I got up in the first place, and there's absolutely nobody around who can help get me down.  Aha-ha... ha.  Yeah..."

At times like this, even I amaze myself of how I could act so casual in these situations.  There are some times when one would of thought he'd know himself too-

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed out loud in sheer terror.  "Someone!  Anyone!  Help!"

And then poof popped a certain draconequus out of the blue, guffawing hysterically childishly.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho!" Discord laughed uproariously, holding his gut tight to prevent it from bursting out confetti like he did before when he turned me into a... pony. (which shall be the last time I'll mention it).

"D-D-Discord?!" I stuttered.  I couldn't look at the chortling trickster as I was too frightened by the distance between me and the ground.  "What's go-going on here?!  Next I was sleeping under the willow tree, and then I wake up sitting on a cloud!"

I continued peeking down, imagining the horror of what it'd be like to fall down from this level of height.  The mere thought only made me feel a lot worse.

Discord still was laughing himself to death (frankly it wouldn't surprise me).  "Now that's one for the papers.  Ahahaha!" he crowed.  "This may be my best prank yet!"

"Your best prank?" I asked quizzically.  In that moment there was a long silence, filled only by the whistling winds and the connecting of dots.  I raised up and sought the spirit's red pupils. "So this was all your doing?!"

The cloud shook slightly from the movement, and I cowered back down to my knees staring down at the ground again.

"I don't know," said Discord innocently, although him looking away to conceal his laughter made it quite obvious he was guilty.  He turned back around with a perky smile plastered on his face.  "Maybe."

"What on Earth possessed you to do this?!"

"Well," Discord began, stroking his unruly goatee, "promise you won't be mad, but I have been spectating you for some time.  I must say after all that's happened today that you looked like you were about to explode.  When I later followed you to the lake and saw that you fell asleep against the willow tree I pondered: 'Hmm, judging the trouble he's been through, perhaps as a good friend I'll give him something nice to sleep on'.  Now here you are.  Did you have a swell nap?"

Discord's explanation briefly left me kneeling in disbelief.  "So let me get this straight:  all this time you've been following me?  Why couldn't you have just saved me the trouble looking for you?!  And while I do appreciate the kindly gesture...  You don't place your friends a million feet in the air that can potentially kill them as a prank!  You know full bloody-well that I'm scared of heights!" I exclaimed.

"Really?" Discord questioned, pretending to act surprised.  "Huh, it must have slipped my mind," he shrugged dismissively, "oopsie."

The corners of my lips anchored to a deep, scowling frown.  "Oopsie?  Man, when I get my hands on you I'll-" I spat malicious incoherent threats at the spirit of chaos, arms quivering in rising rage.  "Forget it!  Can you just get me down!?

"Very well," Discord submitted.  "But first things first: How's the weather up here?"

Of all jokes, Discord, of all jokes...

I deadpanned with an unamused expression.  "Me.  Off this cloud.  Now."

"Are you sure?" he queried.

"Yes!" I bellowed, voice a little hoarse from hyperventilating in fear.  "I just want off of this thing!"

Discord lips stretched to a devious smile.  "As you wish," he obliged as he brought forth his lion paw, snapping his fingers.

There was the moment of silence again afterward.  Nothing seemed to have happened; I was still lofted on a cloud, wondering why I hadn't been teleported to the ground yet.

Discord snapped his fingers again and materialized a nail file before him.  He then began grinding away at his claws with the said object.  "You'll have to give it a moment.  The spell doesn't take an immediate effect once cast," he said.

I shot him a quick glare, bemused by that comment.  "What do you mean by-" all of a sudden I inexplicably fell through the cloud and began plummeting down toward the lake, "thaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Isn't it Deja Vu that a few days ago I had a dream of falling down from the sky?  Well, I was now.  Though this time instead of a lucid dream this was pure reality, which didn't comfort the fact that I'm falling to my inevitable demise.  If I ever become a ghost after this, I pledge a solemn swear on my own cobblestone grave that I'd haunt Discord until the end of time.

Losing altitude at a very alarming rate, I clasped both palms together in a pleading pose and silently prayed for a random miracle to happen.  But I guess the universe decided, 'No, sirree.  You've had this coming for a while.'  Couldn't say I didn't.  I knew that someday I'd get just payback for the sinful things I've done on Earth.

I closed my eyes in hopelessness, ready to answer the grim reaper whom stood outside my life's door knocking at it.  The bag of bones probably would ask what the cause of my death was.

The answer?  All because a dick of a draconequus pulled a (deadly) prank on me.