Log Fifteen - Chapter Fourteen

"...you what?" I asked bluntly.

The alicorn mare fidgeted her hooves sheepishly, looking down at the ground with cheeks as crimson as a blooming rose.  "I said I love you."

There have been times when I was shocked beyond understanding.  Twilight coming out like this definitely caught me off-guard.  I wasn't exactly certain how else I could react other than be perplexed by this revelation.  "I- I-  I-," I stammered, still unable to fully tackle the situation.  "I mean, when did this happen?  How long have you been keeping this a secret for?"

"The first week of the first month since your arrival here in Equestria," answered Twilight.  She perked up, staring me straight with those violet, glassy eyes of hers.  "And, well, after that I just didn't have the courage until now."

"Yes, but when when?  Like, when did you start having these... "feelings"?"

"The seventh day, precisely one week, when you came over to borrow a book to read - the one book you returned two days ago.  It was your very first visit to my home.  There you met Spike, and I'm not quite sure you remember Owlowiscious, but you met him too."

While Twilight was babbling onward, I pondered, 'Oh, Owlowiscious is how it's pronounced.  That'll be noted.  Wait...  It's a he?!  Crap, that certainly faults the 'females with eyelashes' hypothesis...  But given Twilight's explanation, I still don't know how I made this happen, nor can I recount the moment.'

"Sounds like you got yourself in a bind," my brain said, observingly.

Oh good, you're here!  Maybe you can help me with this.

"Now you need my help?"  My brain bitterly scoffed.  "No way. Not after you neglected me."

I need you for real this time.  I'm sorry about before.  Please, man.

"Well alright.  Only because you said please.  So, you want to know, hm?  First let me ask you: are you positive that you can't remember anything you have done or said that entailed this?"

"Mmm...  Not really."

My brain groaned in exasperation.  "Goodness gracious.  You can't be this freakin' dense.  Fine.  I'll help you step by step; you know back when you borrowed a book from her?  Did you notice anything slightly different about her appearance?  Maybe her tresses?"

Now that you mention it.  Yeah, I think I do remember.  She had her lock all tied up into a bun, like one of them female secretaries or psychologists I've seen on Earth.

"Good.  Now, was there anything you said regarding her hair?"

I deeply pondered it for a split-second.  I suppose I called her pretty because of it.  Why?  What's that got to do with this?

"Oh boy.  I now see how you've gotten into this mess.  Rick, Twilight is -- how I would state it -- a nerd.  She tends to stay indoors most of the day reading books.  Have you ever wondered why she doesn't have a boyfrie- er, coltfriend?"

Can't say that I do, I honestly replied.

"She's.  A.  Nerd.  Think, Rick, think.  Do you often see nerds in a relationship?"

Not many.

"Precisely.  The fact she's a nerd clearly means she doesn't get out much, and that also means she doesn't see boys too often.  All her friends are bleedin' mares, for pete's sake.  Do you see any stallions or know ones she knows besides her brother?"

No.  But I always thought she's a...  I hesitated finishing the sentence.

"Of course not!  I mean, I don't know that, but neither do you.  Yet her signs perfectly state otherwise."

What signs?

"For the love of all that is holy—" my brain grumbled "—you really need to start using me at a regular basis.  Here's the list: allowing you to borrow a book for over two weeks.  She normally wouldn't let it go for that very long.  Offering tea and inviting you inside her home late at night — in a seductive way that you were too clueless to notice, might I firmly add.  And she gladly, and enthusiastically, agreed to be your tour guide."

And? I queried.

"And the fact that she's been a lonely nerd for who-knows-how-long; those of her status are probably the desperate kind.  Telling a woman such as her 'she's pretty' can lead to huge misunderstandings."

Oh?  After some seconds, the gears in my head started to rotate. Oohhhh...

"So you finally got it?"

Yup.

"Um, Rick?"  Twilight poked at my stomach gently.  "You okay?"

I shook my head to snap out of my stupor.  "Wha?"

She glanced at me concernedly.  "You were sort of standing there like a plain statue.  Have you been listening to every word I said?"  Twilight asked.

"Oh yes, yes.  Most certainly!" I lied, inclining my head to an affirming nod.

"So...?  What's your answer?"  Twilight asked anxiously.  Her eyes were gleaming with great anticipation.

"My a-answer?  Well, I-" I froze in mid-sentence, sweating due to pressure-building anxiety.  How was I going to come out straight without sounding too harsh?  I mean, I've only been in a relationship once, of course the only reason that being was because me and this chick (whose name eludes me at this moment) were so smashed that we tatooed each other (can't quite remember where it is).  Biggest mistake of my life.  And I had to deal with this, albeit more serious.  I scratched the back of my neck, trying to conceive a valid excuse.  An idea then sprung up.  "Twilight," I began with a soft tone, "earlier when you asked that question: 'did your heart ever want to ask something, but your head was too afraid of what the answer might be?', I have an answer for that."

Her expression, once exhilarated, slowly dwindled to that of complete nervousness.  "Yes?"

Oh sweet Jesus, that doleful look of hers is unbearable...  I cringed.  "You see...  Sometimes it's best not to ask those questions."  Twilight's ears slowly drooped.  Man I am terrible for doing this.  "Sometimes we should cherish what we already have.  Like a very special friendship, let's say like the one you and I share that someone like me wouldn't change for anything in the world."

Utter silence then hung in the air, except for the resonating chirping of birds in the sky and croaking of frogs in the pond.  I tried acting calm and careful with my response.  Unfortunately, Twilight's ears drooped even further.

"So...  You actually...?"  Twilight's discouraged tone was cringe-inducing.  I REALLY am feeling awful now all of a sudden.

I held my hands up defensively.  "Please don't take it the wrong way.  When I said you were pretty, I meant it as a compliment.  I didn't know you mistook it as me flirting you."  Ah shit.  Probably shouldn't have said it that way.

"So you think I'm not pretty?"  Twilight depressingly sniffled.  God, I might as well have smashed her heart into pieces with a hammer, because that's what it appears to be what I'd done.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa.  I didn't say you weren't pretty," I said.  "Err, look, I'm not one that chooses the best words, let alone come up with good excuses.  It's just that this is all too sudden.  Too fast.  I've only been here for a month; I have plans here and there, and getting into a relationship would be the last thing I'd be concerned of."  I knelt down and rested a right hand over her right shoulder.  We both made direct eye contact.  Deep in her eyes, I saw that she was hurt - her heart shattered, as expected.  "And even if I have done everything, I just don't know how I would feel dating a pony.  Back in my world, that..." I paused trying to find more appropriate words. "Would be tantamount to jail time in a sense.  Human prejudice, you could call it.  But..."

"But what?" said Twilight.

I momentarily averted my gaze from hers.  "I... guess I really don't know, to be honest."

"Then what is it?" Twilight questioned heatedly.

I know when I said I wouldn't get myself stuck in a relationship with anyone on Equestria.  My heart, on the other hand, was telling me something different - it thrived on something, screaming to me.  What was it that I'm currently feeling?  It's... alien, foreign even.  It feels like love.  Though not quite?  No.  No, this was entirely new; this isn't the kind of love between me and Fluttershy.  This was indescribable.  Though that'd be totally an understatement.  I knew what it was, yet I chose to deny it.  But it was a fruitless effort.  Of all things, why was it her my heart had chosen?

I placed another hand over her other shoulder, and gazed up to meet her eyes again.  Odd.  Once I have a closer view, she... actually did look pretty.  Pretty?  More like beautiful.  Gorgeously beautiful.  I leaned in further, my nose near her muzzle.  I had no self-control of my body pretty much at this point - I then came to understand that this was a force I couldn't overcome.  I was diving in closer, our lips almost coming to contact.  A part of my brain was telling me to stop whatever I'm doing because it's wrong, but at the same time every emotional instinct told me to do it, because at the same time everything about this moment feels so right.  Even if I wanted to speak, this strange force had rendered me speechless.

Twilight was also overwhelmed by this sensation as she closed her eyes just as I did mine.  Finally our lips locked in a warm embrace, with my arms hanging loosely around her neck.