Log Seventeen - Chapter Sixteen

After the whole uneventful fiasco, Twilight and I were casually heading back into Fluttershy's cottage.  Actually I was more languid in my pace than Twilight—who was still humming the tune to herself—and seemed a bit disgruntled that I had hand over my face to mask the sheer embarrassment from involuntarily contributing my gritty, sandpaper-esque voice to the mare's merry song.

"I cannot believe I was pulled into that..."  I grumbled indignantly.

Twilight kept herself at side with the same snails-pace, ceasing her humming for the time being. "Aw, come on, Rick!  It wasn't all that bad."  She assured.

"I told you that I wasn't the singing type more than I would normally care to."  I did. Really, I did. It was during the short break in the song.  "Thank God it was short," I muttered, "otherwise I would've knocked myself silly until I'd pass out."

We halted inches before Fluttershy's cottage door.  "There's no need to be pessimistic about it," said Twilight.  "I thought it was... nice."  I couldn't help but notice she hesitated on that last word.

I pointed a finger down at her, shouting,  "Aha!  So even you think it's bad!"

"No I don't!" Twilight exclaimed back.

"Oh really?"  I quizzed with a skeptical tone.

"Yes, really."

"I don't believe that," I said.

"How so?"

"Because when we were somehow from the cottage to Ponyville in a matter of seconds, all the ponies in town had those disgusted looks on their faces every time I sang my verses.  I think I even saw one vomiting in a garbage bin.  Next thing after the song we're back outside the cottage." A big, shit-eating grin appeared on my face. "So, by way of answer, if you thought my singing was more deserving than simply being called 'nice', you would have said so!"

Strange thing about the power of musicals.  First moment you sing, the background would fade into blackness only to be short-lived by a new scenery and the jolting sound of trumpets, chimes and whatever else they throw at you.

"That still doesn't answer the question," said Twilight.

"My voice.  Is.  Terrible!  Come on, I can see it written all over your face that you were lying about it being nice earlier."

"Rick," Twilight began sternly with narrowed brows, "you shouldn't need to worry how bad your voice sounds.  When it comes from the heart, terrible or not, it's still considered beautiful," she finished that sentence with the tap of her hoof on her chest. "I, for one, thought you were spectacular."

I gave a little snort in disbelief. "Well the other ponies didn't seem to think so,"

"Who cares if anypony else finds it awful,"  Twilight argued.  "Take Sweetie Belle for example; Last time Fluttershy told me she sang... Well, let's just say the way she explained it, it was overtly loud and rambunctious.  Not everypony is perfect at singing, and no matter how bad it sounds, as long as one pony likes it, it's good enough for them." I noticed the tone in her voice as she stressed that last sentence.

"Fine, but it still doesn't change the fact that everypo- everyone," damn pony culture slang! "heard it," I huffed quietly.

Twilight's ears pricked up.  "What?"  She asked.

"Oh nothing..." I replied, nonchalantly.

With that out of the way, Twilight's horn began to glow with her signature rose-pink hue.  The door was promptly opened, but left ajar by her magic.  "I hope you don't mind me asking, but, do you care if I can see how you change clothes? It would be good for research purposes." The purple mare asked with a small, sheepish smile as she clopped her hooves together.

My eyes widened.  "Why in Sam's Hell would you want to do that?!"

"For educational purposes," Twilight answered in passing.

I tilted my head.  "Really, just... Really? 'Educational purposes...'" I said, my voice dripping sarcasm, my eyebrow cocking suspiciously.

Twilight's cheeks were burning with a certain reddish hue, a bead of sweat forming on the far right side of her forehead.  "Educational and... to... sate..." she trailed off on that last word. "Uhm, curiousity?"  Her wings suddenly sprout forth, stiff as wood, and her whole face was tinted in a much deeper red and her eyes moving in her head to see what involuntarily happened, much to my bemusement.

Oh oh oh,  I remember this!  This was back when I found myself researching pegasi on the internet.  It's not like I was forced to, mind you.  I had to for the sake of raising Fluttershy when it came to teaching her how to fly, but, I digress. If I know this, wings of a pegasus flare whenever they're excited, because that excitement stimulates the blood into the wings and therefore they become erect like Twilight's was doing now.  Wait a second... If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's rather equivalent to...

Oh dear...

My face also turned beet red at the realization.  Did it just get hotter all of a sudden?  It was probably the blazing sun getting to me, that or the pajamas.  Maybe both.  "Oh.  Well.  Um," I stammered uneasily.  "I- I don't know."

Twilight stepped forward more, using her hoof to stroke my leg salaciously.  "Just relax, Rick.  I mean, there's no reason to be nervous.  Especially around your new marefriend," she said with her best bedroom eyes.

I took a long, deep, calming breath.  "I'm not exactly nervous.  It's just..." I fidgeted trying to find the right word. "Uncomfortable having someone watching me getting dressed.  I would much prefer it if you wait downstairs for me."

Twilight gave a stiff, understanding, but at the same time disappointed nod, the blush receding from her cheeks. I could still see a faint shade of red though. "Alright," she complied, she flicked her tail on the back of my leg and followed it up with a wink. "But you can always watch me anytime," she added with a flirtatious wink over her shoulder, then resumed trotting into cottage followed by myself. Ponies don't even have clothes, so what in the hay did she mean by that!?

I made my way upstairs and into the room to put on some more decent clothes. I stood in the room momentarily - shoulders slumped, expression blank and eyes repeatedly blinking owlishly.  If I had all knowledge of the universe, through some erroneous reason, there would only be one word in the entirety of the English vocabulary that would best fit with what I just heard.

"...What?"

I shook my head to rid my thoughts of what just happened, and when I made my way back downstairs, Twilight was sitting on the couch.

With her wings still flared.

"Uhm, Twilight?"

"Yes?"

I leaned down to whisper softly in her ear. "Your wings."  I stood back up, and the blush returned with a vengeance, and she just sat there looking embarrassed—much to my amusement.  I couldn't help but grin.

Hearing this, Twilight peered over her shoulder to discover that her wings were still sticking out.  With a frightened gasp she said, "Well don't just stand there like an impish foal!  Help me with these things before Fluttershy comes back from the backyard!"

"W-why do I have to?!  Can't you will them down with your magic or something?  You're a bloody alicorn, for Pete's sake!"

"It's not that simple. I mean I could but it takes some time.  You can do it simple enough; just massage the specific joints where the muscles are and they'll relax them."

I held my hands up, waving them in protest.  "No freakin' way!  If I did that to them it'd almost be like I'm giving you a handjob!"

She turned to look back up at me.  "What's a handjob?"

"Twilight, there aren't enough nopes in the world.  I'm not going to explain that to you, no way!"

"All I'm asking is for you to massage and relax my wings so I can fold them!  What's so bad about that?"

She did have a point though - that's all she was asking me to do.  Yet the way she asked me to do it was loaded with innuendo from what I could tell.

I sighed in defeat and took a spot on the couch, as Twilight turned her back to me.  With reluctance I raised my hands and started running them along the tips of her wings.  She just sighed with content as I did my thing.  Sweet Jesus this was beyond wrong on so many levels.

"Remember the joints, too," Twilight reminded.

Without a reply, I skated my fingertips along the wings until I found a joint in them and pressed my thumbs into it to help relax the muscles in the area.  She didn't seem to do anything in response, and the wing seemed to relax a bit.

"How's that?"

She turned to me with a blush on her face. "Better.  Thank you."

I shook my head at the sight of the blush and moved onto the next wing, relaxing the joints in that one too.  Not too long, after I had relaxed them, she ruffled the wings and folded them back to her side.

"That's much better, but if you don't mind, could you just give them a once over?"

"...Why?"

"I can move them, but it's just to get out any remaining stiffness."

I groaned heavily and used one hand on each wing this time.  I rubbed my fingers and thumbs down the wings, getting closer and closer to the joints on her back.  When I got there, I put my thumbs on the base of each joint and wrapped my hand around each wing, using my thumbs as a pivot when I pulled the wings back towards me.

However... the inevitable had happened...

"Oh, goodness!  I forgot the pellets!"  said Fluttershy as she hastingly trotted back in from the back door, her eyes focused on the storage closet.  Out of the corner of her eye, she straightaway noticed our presence on the sofa...  Fluttershy skidded to an immediate halt, both hooves covering her mouth as her pupils shrank to the size of pins.

Silence took over; Twilight and I remained remotely frozen in place, exchanging petrified looks.

I turned to my daughter and spoke as casual as I could muster, "My dear Shy, please don't freak out, but this is totally what it looks like."