Log Nineteen - Chapter Eighteen

"I'm just so happy for you two!"  Fluttershy cheered for the second time, her hug strengthening, turning vice-like, draining the air in both mine and Twilight's lungs until our faces contorted into dark blue like blueberries.  Who'd've thought that she had the bone-crushing strength of a python!

With little air I had to spare, I wheezed, "Ha...  Yes- yes.  I understand you're extremely happy for the both of us, but perhaps you could, ha, loosen up the hug a bit!  I feel like my insides are gonna pop out of one of two exits."

Fluttershy released her disturbingly powerful grip, allowing us the opportune freedom to gasp in precious oxygen.  "Oh, I'm sorry, Father.  I guess I got carried away."  Fluttershy blushed as she squee'd.  "I mean, it's so marvelous that you've found a special somepony!  And that special somepony is one of my best friends in the whole world!"  She softly squealed in utter joy.  Only my daughter could pull off something that graceful.

"I know!" Twilight exclaimed.  "I'm so glad you're not angry about all this."

Fluttershy leaned in for another hug.  "Why would I be?  I have one of my best friends in the whole world dating the best dad in the whole world!"  Aww shucks, Fluttershy.  I don't think I rightfully deserve that title, but it's heartwarming to know that she thought it to be true.  Letting go, she quickly skipped over and gave me another short hug.  "This is so exciting that I could scream out to the entire town!  Oh um...  Not really, but... You get the point."

I stood back up to my full height, nodding.  A certain part of my internal body was exerting outward pressure, in an uncomfortable way, impelling me to ascend up the stairs in a rapid manner to where the bathroom was.  "Nature is calling, be right back!"  I said, walking to the stairs posthaste.  I probably should have went the moment I woke up.  Well, better late than never.

"In that case, I need to get the pellets to feed my fluffy bunnies.  The poor little things must be starving from waiting this long," said Fluttershy worriedly.

"And in that case, I should go with Rick and make sure he doesn't, uh, fall or anything," said Twilight who followed pursuit.

I was at midpoint between the ground floor and the top, rolling my eyes.  Yeah... in case I'd fall...  I mistook the timing of my feet, and instead of putting my whole foot on the topmost stair, only my toes caught the lip of the stair, causing me to teeter.  I flailed both arms in a(n) vain effort to recover my balance but, luckily for me, Twilight was right behind to catch my fall with a blanket of her magic and pushed me forward where I regained my footing.

I would say that staircases should have hand-rails, but in a society that didn't have hands...

Whew, I mouthed.  I looked over my shoulder and raised a waving hand.  "Heh... Uh, thanks, Twilight.  Guess I should really be more careful."

Twilight beamed, "No problem!"

I took a moment to catch my breath, while Twilight went ahead of me, swishing her tail from side to side.  That gave me more of a view than I wanted, or needed for that matter.

Honestly, some things are better left to the imagination.  I'm not exactly sure how to feel about that, though.

I shook my head and continued up the stairs to find Twilight had somehow disappeared from view, either through one of the two bedroom doors or into the bathroom, opposite the two doors. I went to the bathroom door and knocked on it, expecting an answer. When I didn't hear anything, I walked in, bled the lizard, and departed.  Funny thing about the figure of speech, bleed the lizard, was when I first time mentioned it, Fluttershy was always crying to me not to do it.  Oh it was so silly that I had to carefully explain it to her what men used the phrase for.  I laughed so hard it jerked a tear in my eye.

Anyway, I went back downstairs to see if Twilight had gone back down, but I just found my dear Shy feeding a few of her animals; squirrels, rabbits and other rodent-related critters.

"Hey, did you see Twilight come back down?" I asked.

Fluttershy shook her head.  "She just went upstairs after you and didn't come back down.  Did you see if she went into your room?"

It is certainly a possibility... "I'll go check."

I barely caught her next comment. "Try not to make too much noise."

I don't entirely know what she meant by that, and I ended up staring at her with an incredulous look.  Apparently she didn't realise what she said either, and ended up blushing.  I just smirked at her situation, figuring that would never happen between us, and continued back up the stairs as Fluttershy tried to sheepishly shrink back into her bigger-on-the-inside mane.

I got to the door on the end, my room, and knocked.  "Come in," came the sultry voice from within.

Frowning slightly from that reply, I cracked open the door and spoke through the crack, "Are you... Decent?"

"But of course, Rick," she answered with the same tone.

I swung the door open to find a sight I wouldn't call decent, as far as my expectations would go.

Twilight managed to find the time to dress up in a rather... Interesting outfit to say the least.  Her hair was tied up in a bun using a strip of black lace with a couple locks of her mane falling just behind her ears.  She had a corset laced up from both the left and right sides, with holes for her wings, with the portion going down her back tapering at the tail with a button-snap to go around the of the tail at the base.  All four of her hooves/legs donned shiny black silk, either leggings or stockings, with the rear pair stopping just below her haunches. The jist of what she had in mind was further accentuated by a buckled, black, faux-leather collar around her neck. She lay out flat on the bed with her tail lifted slightly, her glittering eyes looking at me while she had one hoof crossed over the other.

I stood, frozen in place, and wasn't sure what to say or do.  Actually, a more accurate description of how I felt would be to say that I felt time standing still while I looked upon her lithe form with various conflicting emotions, thoughts, and how to handle the situation.

"Why don't you come in, hmm?" She used her magic to close the door, and I planted my back against it.

A lone speck of sweat dripped down the back of my neck as I audibly gulped.  "I, uh... I-- why are you dressed like that?"

She rolled onto her back, legs hanging in the air like a cat getting its belly scratched. A cat dressed in black lace. There's more mental imagery that I didn't need in my book or journal.

"Come, sit next to me," she said, smiling coquettishly.  I didn't know if that was either an invitation or a command, but I prayed it'd be neither.

And have you ever got an involuntary, erm, reaction... to something you know you weren't supposed to?  Neither did I.

Nervous, I replied, "O-okay..."  I made my first tentative step, and then another.  I was a little more nervous in those two steps than there needed to be.  I mean, it was that Twilight being too suddenly forward made me reconsider about this romantic relationship.  But that might just be me being biased.  It's the first day, after all.  What sort of man would I be for giving up without giving it at least a try?  A wimp, that's what.

I swallowed the courage with difficulty—for I had butterflies fluttering around in my stomach—and upped my pace and sat on the bed next to the mare, twiddling my thumbs as I trailed my gaze down to the wooden floor.  I felt something warm tingling the left side of my cheek, forcibly turning my neck right so that Twilight's pearly lavender eyes were deeply staring into mine.  Oh there's definitely fire burning within them alright, a fiery passion of love, and the intent of... lovemaking.

"So," Twilight started smoothly, the tip of her hoof curling my sideburn. "How do I look?"

I bit the bullet and blurted whatever my brain could conceive, "Like a million bucks."  That was one of the stupidest things I have ever said.

To my surprise, it didn't bother Twilight at all.  She seemed to actually have received it better than I would've thought.  "Perfect," she cooed.

I decided to play along for the time being, so I just extended a hand and began to scratch behind one of her ears.  She seemed to relax as a whole, melting under my touch.  Her tongue lolled out her mouth, and her legs hanging in the air as she enjoyed getting scratched.

Twilight limply fell onto her left side, her back to me.

"Come closer," she idly whispered.

I uncomfortably shifted my weight, and not my position, to make it seem like I moved closer.  My hand moved up and down her neck from her ear to the collar.

After a few minutes, everything dipped into uncomfortable silence.

"Uhm, Twi... You still with me?"

She lifted her head and looked back at me. "Kiss me, Rick."

The first time we kissed, it felt... odd.  Now this time, minus the lace, it kind of feels... I don't know, right?  I decided to give in and began to lean forward - three inches.  Two inches.  One inch.  I got closer and closer, but then something else caught my attention.

Hoofsteps thundered from outside the hallway, followed by a door being thrown open.

"Hey, Rick, where did you..."

It was Twilight.

Then... Who the hell was this?  My eyes widened in horror as I fell back off the bed, shuffling towards the door on my ass, breathing heavily. The Twilight laying on the bed floated up off the bed, and, with a pop, the seductively dressed imposter morphed into Discord and began contorting in ways which shouldn't have been physically possible, combusting in laughter.

"You should see the looks on your faces!" he cawed so uproariously loud I had no doubt the entire world heard him.  "I really got you good this time!"

"D-D-Discord?!  What in the bloody f-"  Before I could finish, a zipper magically poofed to one side of my mouth and zipped my trap tightly shut.

"Tsk, tsk, Rick," Discord clicked his tongue.  "You should know better than to use profanity!"  The spirit chastised as he fished out a black box with white, bolded letters engraved on it.

Twilight helped me off the floor.  "Discord?  What in the hay are you doing here?  For that matter, what were you and Rick doing just then!?"

I habitually dusted myself off, after unzipping my mouth, and looked at the befuddled alicorn.  "Me?  I was doing nothing!  Honest to God," I said, convincingly.

Discord waved at her dismissively.  "Oh just the usual - wreaking chaos here and there.  Harmlessly, of course.  And I thought it'd be a kick goofing around with Rick before the "big ceremony"," he said.  "Speaking of which, congratulations on the ascension, my dear.  I knew from the day I met you, before you encased me in stone, that you were the gifted unicorn - it's not everyday you'd see those.  Though I will admit that I've came across a few in my younger days," he rambled.

Twilight and I raised an eyebrow simultaneously.  "How'd you know about that?" we asked.

Discord smirked, and hummingly chuckled.  "I have my ways," he said, cryptically.

"You eavesdropped at the bridge, didn't you?" I queried flatly, folding my arms.

"Perhaps."  Discord shrugged.  "You both are acting like it's a big deal."

"No, it's not a big deal," Twilight agreed.  "But what the 'big deal' is that you deliberately seduced Rick of his own volition.  You assumed my identity as a princess, which that itself is a big, big deal.  You realize that committing a fake identity is a crime; ponies get sentenced months for that.  But imitating a princess?  That's probably a life sentence."

"Oh come now, Twi, my dear," said the nonchalant spirit, descending flat on his stomach on the bed's mattress, "I only did it for the mere sport of fun."

I snorted in half-amusement.  "Well it wasn't fun from my perspective...  Besides, aren't you worried?"

"Worried?  Worried that you would take advantage of this by telling Fluttershy what happened, therefore blackmailing me into whatever bidding you so desire?"

I rose a pointing finger.  "I..."  I stopped, tongue sticking out between my lips.  I sucked my tongue back in as an idea, a devious one which Discord had given me, sprouted.  The corners of my lips curled to a wicked smile like the Grinch's.  "Twilight, dear, close the door would you?"  She stepped in and closed the door behind her.

"What are you doing?" asked the curious draconequus.

"You impersonated a princess."  The smile disappeared from his face...  "Wearing lace, stockings, and a corset." ...only to be replaced by one of fear.  I looked to Twilight and I just knew she was thinking the same thing I was.

"The way I look at it," Twilight began with a smug, "You do what we ask until Rick and I feel like like the misdeed has been worked off."

I concurred with a nod.

His whole floating form, sagged. "Oh bollocks..." Discord muttered ruefully.

"Three conditions," I said with three fingers raised.  "For starters, you are forbidden from pranking me for a WHOLE week.

"A whole week?  That's practically like seven minutes to me," Discord responded, brushing his lion paw's knuckles across his chest.

"And you're officially uninvited to the coronation buffet," Twilight added in.

Discord waved it off.  "Pfft.  As if I was going to attend your tea party anyways."

"And..." I said, "and, uh, and you must kiss Princess Celestia's flank."

"What?!" Twilight and Discord snapped.

"You're right, you're right.  That's a little extreme.  Um..."

"How about on our first date, you must serve us as our waiter at a fancy restaurant," said Twilight.

"Ooh, that's a good one," I heartily agreed.  "Then it's settled.  If you don't abide to these conditions, we'll rat you out."

Crossing his mismatched extremities, Discord huffed and conceded begrudgingly.  A small, black storm cloud appeared over his head.