My Dear Shy - Life in Equestria

by Keeper-of-Harmony

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Drama, Comedy, Profanity, Fluttershy, Discord, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 46816

Rick Gartners begins a new and vivid life in a mythical world he knows not much of.

Between two difficult choices to leave or stay, Rick Gartners chose the former and was sent to Equestria to be reunited with his beloved and adopted daughter, Fluttershy. However, Rick must habituate himself to a brand new world full of ponies.

Published 2013-04-10 20:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2022-11-22 17:42:45 UTC

Chapter One

Log Two - Chapter One

Morning was arriving as soon as I heard the early birds chiming from outside and inside of Fluttershy's cottage.  The rays of the sun eventually made direct contact with my face as I felt the burning sensation, I then grumbled and shifted away from the obnoxious glares.  However, the back of my head was now becoming too hot.  The irritating heat finally awoke me as I sat up stretching my arms far and wide until their joints made a loud crackling pop or two.

     Yawning, I rubbed the sand out of my eyes and slowly creaked them open.  Everything was blurry at first, but after blinking a few times my vision became much more clearer.  I shifted my sight to the right to the direction of opened shutters where the rays were beaming out from.  There, I had a clear and perfect view of the sun goddess' star peaking halfway out from the endless boundary of the world.  It was brimming brightly; showering me and Equestria in all of its shining glory.  The great yonder above was slowly converting from an angry red glow to oceanic blue as the sun continued climbing higher and higher towards the sky.

     Everything here wasn't much different compared to Earth, yet Equestria had the most beautiful verdant landscapes I ever did see; the towering trees of various kinds as well as the blankets of grass looked so healthy and colorful- in fact they looked healthier than the ones back at home.

     I groggily stood up and took a quick glance around the bedroom and Fluttershy's empty bed.  Since I couldn't find her, I supposed she had already woken up before I did.  So with a couple of stretches and a mild jog down the stairs to get the blood pumping, I stepped off from the final stair step while scratching the back of my bed head.  I then stopped and peered down to notice a familiar white rabbit sitting inches before my very feet, as if he'd been waiting patiently.

     "Mornin' there, Angel." I greeted him with a smirk.

     The snowy-white bunny also perked up a smile, waving in return before he scurried off to the cottage's front door.

     I met Angel on the second day of my stay here in Fluttershy's cottage.  He was quite a sentient; the most intelligent rabbit I had come across.  Whenever Fluttershy would ask of him for something he would reply either by nodding or shaking his head, or by charading even.  Heck, I wished animals were that understanding in my world.  However, he wasn't a nice guy when I came into the picture and acted rather... "rudely strange" at first.  Supposedly it would have to do with him meeting someone new, at least that was what Fluttershy told me.  It took me many attempts at getting on his good side, but many of those attempts weren't successful as I would end up getting shunned or neglected.  I had Fluttershy explain to Angel that I raised her and kept her safe when she was on Earth, and once he had understood it all, he and I suddenly became very close friends afterwards.

     Calling it pretty ironic; when Fluttershy had her very own pet rabbit named Angel, who looked vaguely similar to the one here in Equestria, she and that pet of hers were the bestest of friends.  And here I am getting along with the other Angel here.  But, I would slightly cringe at the painful reminder of Angel's death, the one from Earth, of course.  I remembered the way Fluttershy cried, the sound of her wailing and the grimacing look on her face when she found out he died.   My heart felt like it got torn completely in half when I heard her cry for the very first time.  I had never witnessed such agony, and I would pray it won't have to happen again to our Angel here.  Hopefully not for many years, anyway.

     I came back to reality after hearing the sounds of birds chirping, and continued my way into the living room where Fluttershy was presumably in.  When I ducked and passed through the threshold, sure enough I saw my daughter sitting down on her haunches, humming softly to herself while tending a gray mouse whose squeaking indicated like it was in pain.  Fluttershy tore off an end of a gauze and wrapped it around the mouse's tiny left arm carefully.

     "There you go, little fella," Fluttershy cooed motherly-like, putting the bandage roll back into an open medkit beside her and closed it.  "Now, what have we learned?"

     The mouse squeaked a few times.

     "That's right," Fluttershy nodded as if she understood.  "Never think anypony will leave a piece of cheese lying around.  Still," her eyebrows partially narrowed.  "Shame on that pony!" she scolded.

     The little rodent wobbled its bandaged arm and grinned.  Grateful, the mouse went over and gave Fluttershy a long and tender hug before it scampered back into its newly found hole of a home in one of the cottage's walls.

     That was one of the things I love about Fluttershy; whenever there were animals who wanted or needed help, she would be the perfect pony for the job.  Illnesses?  She could diagnose.  Injuries?  She could treat them.  There wasn't anything Fluttershy couldn't do when it came to animals.  She was, after all, the Element of Kindness; she was my dear Shy.

     I took another step forward, and the creaking sound of the wooden floor caused Fluttershy's ears to prick.  Causing her to jump a little.  She turned her head left, looking at me as she sighed in relief.

     "Good morning, Father.  Did you sleep well?" she asked warmly, trotting towards me with the medkit carried in her left wing.

     I knelt down on one knee and allowed her to trot in for an embracing hug.  Combing my fingers in her mane running down from her neck, the silky strands of her hair were undeniably soft; soothing as each finger brushed through them without encountering any tangles.

     "And a good morning to you too," I replied, pecking a small kiss on her forehead.  Letting go, I stood up back to my feet.  "That mouse another guest I should be introduced to?"

     "Oh I haven't given her a name yet," Fluttershy replied, moving over to a cabinet planted on a wall left of the threshold I came in from.  "She tried to take a cube of cheese from a mouse trap in another pony's house, and luckily her left arm was the only thing that got injured." she explained.

     Fluttershy used her right wing to open the wooden cabinets, and inside of them were filled with assorting medicines: pill bottles of various cures, cough drops, and other medicinal ointments.  She stashed the medkit inside and closed the cabinet.  She then lowered her head and stared at the ground, loathing.

     "The nerve of somepony!" Fluttershy scolded again out of the blue.  "Why would they want to hurt such a delicate creature.  All she wanted was some food...." she said sullenly.

     I slightly flinched as I felt the pang rushing through my heart again.  I really hated seeing Fluttershy so sad and depressed.  As a father it was my duty to comfort her when she necessarily needed it, so I approached her quietly and once again knelt down to stroke the sullen mare's elegant mane with a gentle hand.

     "I wouldn't know why, either," I said sympathetically.  "But we can be thankful that she didn't end up... you know."

     "I know..." Fluttershy sighed.  She swiveled her head to look straight into my eyes as her perfectly-round, large orbs were reflecting with that of dread.

     I moved my hand from the top of her head to her face's left cheek, rubbing away a single tear with a thumb.  "Maybe they don't get it like you do.  I'm sure if whoever used that trap realised that they've made someone upset they'd probably feel very, very sorry," I said.  "But the good thing is that your new friend is still alive and feeling better after you patched her up.  If you're sad then I'm sad, and I'm sure we wouldn't want to ruin such a perfect morning feeling gloomy."

     I saw Angel pop from atop the thickness of Fluttershy's mane, nodding.

     "See," I pointed at Angel with my other free hand.  "Even Angel agrees.  So why not we put the thought aside for now and enjoy this beautiful time of the day?"

     "O-okay..." Fluttershy murmured, pawing the floor with her hoof.

     Given the sound of that depressing tone, I stood up and deeply pondered; thinking what I could do to cheer her up.  "Hmm," I hummed, stroking my chin.  After a couple of seconds, an idea had sprung.  "I'll tell you what," I started.  "Why not we take a trip down to... Sugarcube Corner, is it?  And we can have your friend Pinkie Pie make you your favorite dessert: a simple cupcake filled with whip cream in its center and vanilla icing slathered on top.  What do you say?"

     Exhilarated, Fluttershy's lips rose up with a smile.  "That would be delightful," she said, fluttering excitedly.  "But," she briefly glanced around the squirrels, rabbits, ducks and other small creatures surrounding her.  "It's almost feeding time, and I can't just leave my animal friends unfed for a while longer.  That'd be unfair to them."

     "I know you're obliged to care your animal friends, but you can't always stay cooped up inside your little home most of the time almost everyday."

What are you talking about?  You pretty much did the same thing back on Earth.  Talk about being a hypocrite.  My brain pestered me.

     'That's a whole different story.' I retorted.  'Fluttershy is just... well, shy!  I have a different reason why I'm anti social.'

Yeah, yeah.  Being neglected and all that holla-boo-loo-wee.  My brain mocked matter-of-factly.  But your "daughter" wants to stay and feed her animals she considers as friends.  Which seems to make her happy.  Isn't that what you want for her?

     '...'

     At that point I had nothing else to say, although my conscience was right; if Fluttershy wanted to do what makes her happy, I wouldn't oppose.

     "Actually," I shook my head.  "Nevermind what I just said.  You're right; it would be unfair to them.  So how about this?  Soon I'll be going fishing, and later on after fishing I'll take a drop by to Pinkie's place and bring the cupcakes along the way back."

     Fluttershy perked her head up at me again, smiling brighter than before.  "Thank you, Dad." she said gracefully.

     "You're welcome, my dear Shy." I replied with a heartwarming grin.

     I headed over and sat down on the green, dwarf-sized couch in the living room, letting minutes pass by while I went through an imaginary checklist of today's plans inside my head.  After I would have to change out of my pajamas and into my clothes I would have to make a visit to Twilight's place so I could return a book I borrowed.

     Next I would have to stop at Rarity's if she could patch a hole in one of my blue jeans.  I wouldn't be sure if she were able to but I figured since our clothes weren't any different, she should have no problem patching a simple hole.

     After I would get all those chores done, I would be able to then take the rest of the day fishing at the lake.  Right now I had to change my clothes.

     Getting up, my left shoulder suddenly popped with a jolt of pain.

     "Ah!" I winced, groaning loudly.

     Fluttershy, who was about to head out to do her daily chores around the house, came galloping back in.

     "Father, are you okay?!" she asked, panicking.  "Do you need to go to a hospital?!"

     I waved with my other hand as a sign of 'no need to', then rubbed the painful soreness on my shoulder.

     "No, no," I groaned with gritting teeth.  "Either the muscles are contracting or somehow the shoulder's joints dislocated.  Nothing to get too worried about."

     Fluttershy quickly fluttered over next to me, examining the lower front of my shoulder with her hooves.  "I think your shoulder may have dislocated." she confirmed.

     "Okay..." I excessively inhaled.  "I'm going to need you to do something because I can't do it myself.  I need you to grab hold of my hand..."

     "U-um, okay..." Fluttershy stuttered.  She did as I said and grabbed the base of my palm nervously.

     "Alllriiiight," I exhaled and braced myself.  "Pull as hard as you can, but don't do it until I count to three.  One..."

     "Um, Dad, I don't know if I-"

     "Two..."

     "Is it going to hur-"

     "Three!"

     She pulled my arm hard as she possibly could, and I screamed out to God at the top of my lungs.  My agonizing scream was so loud if Luna were still banished to the moon she probably would have heard it.

Chapter Two

Log Three - Chapter Two

After the recent torment of relocating a dislocated shoulder, I prepared the day by changing out of my flannel pajamas and into my normal clothes, and then I gathered some stuff and put them inside Fluttershy's saddlebag which I've currently borrowed.

I took a quick inspection inside the bag to assure I hadn't forgotten what I needed to bring.

Twilight's book to return.  Check.

Spare jeans with a torn hole needing to be patched.  Check.

Map of Equestria.  Check.

Some dead twigs, flint, and a fishing spear.  Check.

I fumbled around the items thoroughly, seeing if there was anything else I didn't miss.

Special sauce...  Check.

All items accounted for, and without delay, I headed for the front door and opened it swiftly.  Taking several steps outside, the morning sun hovering above the sky was briskly yellow and incredibly hot.  Tis the season of summer, after all.  I furrowed my brows and crossed the small bridge, meanwhile following the dirt-road leading to Ponyville.

A few feet further down past the bridge, I noticed my daughter was watering her beds of lilies and daisies to my left.  She was lullabying happily, content in her blissful singing that I stopped to briefly admire her angelic tone.   Her melody was invigorating, my whole body could just melt just from her soothing voice.

"Alright, Fluttershy," I shouted to her softly, waving an arm in the air.  "I'm going over to Twilight's, then Rarity's, then the lake.  I'll probably be back..." I paused to estimate.  "Around four to five hours."

Fluttershy heard as she gently lowered her watering can with her mouth.  "Just a second." she said, trotting towards me.

Pretty much every time or every day, Fluttershy always would stop me to give me a hug and wish for my safe travels before I'd leave, and whenever I'd return home she'd also be waiting at the front door and welcome me with her ever contagious smile.  How it warmed my heart each time I'd see that smile.

Fluttershy wrapped her forehooves around my left leg, smothering it.  "Come back home safely." she cooed as she released my leg.

"I will." I said with a chuckle.

After several minutes of walking, I finally made it to Ponyville.  Ponyville was a nice and quiet town, littered with ponies and foals of various kind; pegasi, ponies who were able to fly and could alter conditions of the weather by using their wings.  Unicorns, ponies who could cast and use varying levels of magic with a spark of their horns.  And there were your average earth ponies without wings nor horns.

Some locals I passed by would gesture a welcoming wave or shoot a friendly shout if they noticed me.  Others plainly would look away or act like I was inconspicuous.  Being disregarded bothered me, but I'd shrug and just go along my business as well.

Two weeks ago, Celestia did offer to turn me into a pony so I would fit in better.  However, I had told her I'd rather die if that were to happen because being turned to a pony didn't seem pleasing.  Plus, I wouldn't get used to it.  While it seemed a bit rash that I had said that to her, she respected my decision nonetheless.  Unfortunately, whenever I had to say her name in public, I'd have to pronounce her formerly as Princess Celestia so her servants, followers, and loyal subjects wouldn't be offended.  It was annoying but there wasn't much I could do anything about it, although I will continue to call her Celestia in this diary.

Continuing on.  This village was lively, and at least a couple of ponies of Ponyville were kind enough to point me the location of Twilight's house when I asked for directions.  No thanks to those who ignored me, of course....

Twilight, and the rest of her friends, including my beloved daughter, were pretty well known throughout town from their heroic deeds.  I heard they stopped Nightmare Moon from bringing an endless night and turned Discord, a spirit of chaos and disharmony, completely to stone; preventing him from reigning over Equestria.

There was another story about Shining Armor's (Twilight's Big-Brother-Best-Friend-Forever.  Try saying that three times fast...) wedding in Canterlot.

Twilight suspected that her brother's fiance, Cadence, princess of the crystal kingdom, was acting unusually... "bitchy".  Apparently it was an imposter named Chrysalis, a changeling queen who had the real Cadence held captive and wanted to rule Equestria.  She was very close too, I'd say closer than Nightmare Moon or Discord, but Shining Armor and Cadence's love somehow triumphed and repelled Chrysalis and her invasion.

However nothing, and I mean nothing, could compare what my daughter did to save the town one time; she stood up to a full grown, fire-breathing dragon!  I heard Twilight and her friends had to get rid of the mythical creature.  Otherwise the black smoke it created would shadow Equestria for the next one-hundred years!  When Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, failed to convince the dragon to leave, it was my daughter who persuaded the lizard to leave!  Heck, she even reformed Discord when he was freed from his statue prison and Celestia herself said she was the only one capable of doing it.

Unbiological though we were, I was still extremely proud of her; proud as much as a father of his daughter could.

With the help of a few pointers, I found Twilight's humble abode that was her treehouse.  When the ponies mentioned treehouse, I took the term like it was a teeny, tiny house built on top of a tree.  I was dead wrong.  I realized that when they said treehouse, literally they meant that it was an actual tree.  A big, bulky tree refined as a livable home.  It had glass windows, a balcony, including a door with a 'welcome' mat lying out front.

I walked, stood, and wiped my black Nikes over the mat, then I loosened my shoulders to ease up a little.  Three weeks ago, the first time I visited her place, I felt pretty awkward when me and Twilight discussed why my culture needed clothes to stay warm and how it kept them from looking at our "special" areas.  What was terrifying was that Twilight seemed fascinated in our anatomy and said she'll want to perform experiments (as she called it) on me one day.

I shuddered from that unsettling memory, praying it won't happen.  Couldn't blame her, though.  She was always eager learning new things.

Shaking off the awkward memory, I knocked on the tree's wooden door and waited for a response.  From the other side I heard clopping sounds, getting closer and closer, thus the door opened and standing before me was the egghead (a word I abducted from Rainbow Dash) herself, Twilight Sparkle.

Her horn glowed an aura of lilac, vibrant like a lit candle, synced to the door's knob.  Yes, quite frankly, she had a knob on her door this time....

Twilight immediately acknowledged who I was and the corner of her lips rose to a cheeky smile.  "Oh hey there, Rick," she said in a gleeful tone.  "I take it you're here to return a certain thing you've borrowed?"

"Heh, you presume correctly," I quipped.  "So, are you going to let me in?" I asked, raising a brow.

"Of course, of course," Twilight happily obliged.  The witty unicorn trotted aside, granting me a clear entry into her lovely home.  I nodded appreciatively, and stepped inside.

"How was the story?" Twilight began, looking at me curiously.

"It was good," I replied.  "Although I'm not entirely into horror or thriller stories.  More of an action type, y'know.  A good read nevertheless."

Twilight closed the door with another spark of magic.  "I thought it was interesting.  Then again, I find all books interesting." she added.

"A lonely filly meandering around Everfree Forest, trying to find her way back home, then encounters a strange pony with a magnifying glass for a cutie mark." I quoted in a ghostly tone, wiggling my fingers while adding a bit of an 'Ooo' for more eeriness effect.

Twilight childishly giggled at my silly charade.  "I wouldn't say it like that, but it probably would've been scarier if I read it that way." She then went over to me with an innocent smile plastered on her face.  "The book, if you please?" she asked politely.

I pulled the weighted novel out of the bag and handed it to Twilight.  "Here you go."

With another glow of her horn, the aura enveloped the book as it levitated from out of my grasp and onto one of the bookshelves that were ultimately aligned with even more assorted books.

"Anyways.  Have you obtained a letter from C- I mean, have you obtained a letter from Princess Celestia about the permit?" I inquired.

"Not yet," Twilight replied discouragingly.  "But I'm sure it'll be around today!" she said cheerfully.

"I understand you're trying to cheer me up, but I'm still pretty anxious if the council doesn't approve." I said, walking back and forth with a hand planted over my mouth.

"You really shouldn't worry.  I have faith that Princess Celestia will convince them."

"But it's been two weeks now!" I exclaimed.  "And I'm not sure what to do if I don't get the permit.  I don't like living in my daughter's house as a freeloader.  It's unfair to her."

"I'm sure Fluttershy doesn't mind. Really," Twilight smiled re-assuringly.  "She is the element of kindness, after all.  More importantly, she's your daughter.  If there is any problem, she'll support you all the way because-"

"Because she loves me," I cutted Twilight off.  "With every ounce of her beating heart.  Still, I just can't bear the thought on taking up space- let alone have her wash my clothes for me."

"Hmm," Twilight hummed, staring at the floor like she was brainstorming.  "Well," she quickly rose her head back up.  "If anything happens and you don't get your permit, why not look for a job?  Applejack or Rarity will be more than happy to hire you."

It was rather ironic; Twilight and her suggestions of what jobs I could apply, reminded me of Tina back on Earth.  Tina....  I usually thought about her from time to time throughout the entire month, wondering how she was handling life that I'm no longer around.  I mean, the entire month I'd been on Equestria, it should be thirty years on Earth.  I couldn't imagine how many things changed; Tina probably should be old by then, or maybe dead.  I don't know.  But I shouldn't dwell on the past anymore.  What was done was done; water under the bridge.  On Equestria with my dear Shy, that was all I ever wanted, and I'm glad I made that decision.

"I appreciate it.  But I'm not the type of man who enjoys physical labor.  And I'm not particular to cosplaying as a barbie for a fashionista."

"I-" said Twilight before she suddenly paused, cocking a brow.  "'Barbie'?  What's that?" Twilight questioned, staring at me bemusedly yet also curiously.  And I knew the moment she had asked that question, something made me guess that I was going to stay here longer than I estimated I would....

"Ah jeez..." I muttered, face-palming.

"That's entirely what they are.  Toys.  Plain and simple."

Me and Twilight were still standing at the center of her living room, and I had finished explaining to the curious unicorn about Barbie Dolls for which she was curious.  There wasn't much to talk about, really; I only knew what they looked like and nothing else, although Twilight wanted to know more about me and my world.  She had asked question after question regarding to Earth.  What was our food like?  What different types of languages were we able to speak?  How did we evolve from the primitive era to the revolution of advanced technology?  So many things I couldn't answer quickly.  It was just like time when we first conversed.

I didn't know how long time had passed, so I lifted an index finger and put it on Twilight's lips to hush her.

"Hold on a second," I said as I looked through a window where the sun was setting nearly at mid-point in the ocean-blue sky.  "Oh great, it's a quarter over noon!" I exclaimed.  "Sorry, Twilight, but I must really be going to Rarity's while it's still bright out.  Perhaps we can continue this at ano-"

Suddenly, I was interrupted when a blur of purple and green bolted down the stairs and stopped right between me and Twilight.

"You're going over to Rarity's?!" exclaimed Spike, hopping up and down like an excited school girl.

Spike was a baby dragon and Twilight's number one assitant (so he proclaimed).  He had purple scales and green spikes with a pair of sharp, emerald eyes.  Being a baby dragon he was, he could only spew jets of tiny flames.  But he had another unique talent; he could send corresponding scrolls to Princess Celestia by using his magical flames.  He could also belch out messages from Princess Celestia.  He had been living with Twilight ever since he was born, so their bond to one another were that of a brother and sister.  They were pretty inseparable.

This was the second time I met the scaly dwarf.  The first time we didn't get to acquaint ourselves due to "things" that I dared not to speak of it again.

Spike was practically down on his knees, tugging on my blue jeans.  "Did you say you're going over to Rarity's?!  Can I come?!  Please, please, please!" he pleaded.

He was really serious about wanting to go with me.  I shrugged cluelessly while staring at Twilight who just stood there rolling her eyes.

"Well," Twilight began with a smile.  "Since there's no things needed to be done for a while, I suppose you can follow Rick to Rarity's.  That is, if he doesn't mind?"

"Long as we get there soon, I have no problem with that." I comply, nodding.

"Then what are we waiting for!?" hollored Spike while pushing me impatiently.

"Okay, okay.  Stop shoving would ya.  I guess I'll see you next time." I said, waving dismissively at Twilight.

"Alright.  I'll see you later then." Twilight replied, hollering.

Just like that, I was finally shoved outside as me and Spike marched onward to Rarity's place.

Chapter Three

Extra Log #1

So there I was, sitting boringly on a green and small wooden stool with crossed arms and a tapping foot, waiting for a certain fashionista to finish some dress she had been designing for nearly thirty minutes.  Spike, who accompanied me during the trip to Rarity's boutique, had been gawking at the unicorn like eye candy ever since we'd got there.  I'd been watching him following her like a dog on a leash, and it was no surprise to me why he was acting that way.  When we had the time alone, I talked to him about his huge crush for the mare.  He was utterly shocked how I figured it out (not sure why he would be, his demeanor was readable like a book) but he had me "Pinkie Promise" to never tell anyone or anypony.  I'm sure Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy (maybe the entire damn village) may have already known for such a long time, although I'm surprised Rarity hadn't.  Maybe she did and didn't tell Spike.  I wouldn't know for certain.

For another ten minutes I sat, bored out of my mind, waiting while the unicorn was in her private quarters for the near passing hour, and after all that time I still hadn't received a message from Celestia.

Twilight did say it was to arrive very soon, but I had major doubts.  Speaking of Twilight... I noticed how she had been so obsessed with my world and my kind lately.  I would understand her undying thirst for knowledge but she was acting far too fascinated.  Heck, I was scared if it'd came to a point where she'd want to... mate with a human being.  I wouldn't think it's wrong, not when our worlds share some similarities.  But, a human and a pony in a relationship?  It just doesn't sound right.

Then, the doors of Rarity's quarters squeaked as they opened, which made me sprung up in anticipation.

"I'm done!" chimed Rarity musically, opening and trotting out of the said door with a pair of my jeans levitating beside her.  And there was the gullible baby dragon, following behind her in pursuit.

Rarity was one of Twilight's most best friends, and the bearer of the 'Element of Generosity'.  I did admit, for a pony herself she looked pretty stunning.  She had a pristine, pearly white coat with a dark purple mane and tail.  Her diamond-cutting blue eyes allured me with interest, and I found myself intrigued by the profundity of her accent as well.  Her curly mane and tail were bouncing up and down vigorously as she trotted toward me.

"'Bout time," I groaned as I rose up, stretching my aching back.  "I was getting drowsy there for a minute."

"You can never rush work of art.  Here you go, Darling," said Rarity, levitating the patched up pants over to me.  "I did what I could, but you'll have to pardon if the patch's colors are... unmatched."

That said, I examined the back of the jeans and saw a circular, white patch sewn on left back pocket of where the damage used to be.

"If I may ask... did you get that hole by some sort of fire incident?" She added.

I hadn't given her an answer right away.  Rather, I took a moment looking over my jeans seeing Spike's cheeks glowing pinkish red while he fiddled guiltily with his claws.

My face was as deadpanned as a professional poker player when I stared at Spike, who gulped nervously.  I jerked back my sight at Rarity and raised a sly smirk.

"Yeah," I replied nonchalantly.  "I was out fishing one day, then suddenly I tripped backwards and landed on my small fire pit.  Next thing I knew, my pants were on fire.  Thank God I was near a lake.  If I wasn't, I would have lost my wallet along with a good pair of jeans."

I was always a pretty good liar, and I had to thank my foster father for that reason.

"Goodness gracious," Rarity gasped dramatically.

"No joke." I agreed curtly as I stuffed the patched jeans in Fluttershy's saddlebag.  "Well, thanks for helping out with the jeans and whatnot."

Rarity flicked a hoof.  "No thanks are necessary, Darling.  After all, me and the other girls appreciate for what you've done for Fluttershy."

"Mhmm." I hummed, nodding.  "And much as I'd like to stick around for the message I have other plans in mind."

"I understand," Rarity replied.  "But if there is anything else I can do for you please don't be afraid to ask."

"Well," I stroked the bottom of my chin.  "If it's not too much to ask; do you think you can make a couple of clothes for me?"

"Of course!" Rarity answered gingerly.  "I'm gonna need to measure you in order to make them," then a vibrant aura of blue glowed around her horn and a yellow measuring tape covered in the exact aura was taken out of a nearby drawer and floated next to her.

"Oh, no, no, no," I shook my head.  "Sorry but I don't mean right now; seeing that I'm a tad late on certain things, why not we do this at um... four hours from now?"

"Very well," Rarity said with a pinch of disappointment.  "I was kind of eager to make something I've never made before.  But I'll be glad to set up an appointment."

"Cool," I said, walking out toward the door.  "Ciao." I two-finger saluted.

Chapter Four

Log Four - Chapter Three

I walked restlessly through the village of Ponyville out toward the direction where the lake was located.  The residents of the town were lively and noisily; the mares and stallions were playing happily with their foals, whether they'd be sons or daughters.  There were ponies behind market stands where they were selling quality fruits or vegetables to any welcoming customers.  How much it reminded me of the times the city on Earth was once like this.  Everybody was happy; they had cars, jobs, families, and a life ahead of them.  But when corruption became far too great, everything that was once perfect went downhill.  However, I no longer had the sympathy for whatever happened to it.  My life here, in Equestria; in Ponyville, where I had a few friends and a loving daughter, was all that mattered to me.

After the long, and tedious journey, I finally arrived at the lake where I would spend the majority of the day doing.  Fishing.  Fishing was my second hobby before writing.  I abducted the habit of fishing when my foster father would always take me fishing with a couple of his jerks for friends.  How I remembered the first few times trying to fish.   I'll be modest, it was the most boring, uninteresting, exhausting experience I ever had in my adolescence that it made me wished I was dead.  Throughout the couple years of fishing, though, I've grown more fond of the peace and tranquility fishing had and I found it very relaxing.

Anyway, I finally reached my usual spot underneath a tall and aged, billowing willow tree sitting close at the border of the lake's clear, crystalline waters.  The willow swayed smoothly by the gentle breezes, and the bark was pretty rigid and rough throughout the years of aging.  The sun was subtle at the sky's center, and there was nobody else around but me and the collection of warm breezes calmly passing by.  I gazed into the water, looking at the sparkling flecks of the fiery sun dancing along the lake's surface while I made way to the cool shade beneath the willow's canopy.  Sitting down, I rummaged through the saddlebag (which Fluttershy kindly let me borrowed) full of dead twigs, a couple of flint, a bottle of refreshing water, and lastly my handcrafted wooden spear.  Trying to catch fish with a spear was really such a chore.  Every attempt had to count, otherwise I'd have to come home without dinner.

Fluttershy wouldn't let me go unrewarded, of course.  When the couple previous times where I had fished and returned home without a single catch, she'd whip up a tasty salad sundae (Angel's favorite), with a cherry on top.  I'd imagine dessert and salad wouldn't go great together but that wasn't until I had my first dish, and by far it was undeniably scrumptious!  Can't compare it to normal desserts.   But still, it tasted good.

After I've taken everything out of the saddlebag, I gathered the twigs and had them standing like a miniature teepee with the flint placed aside.  Before I did anything else, a large splashing sound caught my astute attention.  I glanced at the ripples of the lake, and saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"Huh, must've been a fish jumping out of the water," I said, shrugging, then I went back focusing on getting the rest of the dead twigs out of the bag.

There was the splash again, yet it sounded very close that time.

I looked back to the lake... and this time I saw something swimming towards the shore.  Curious, I stood up with the spear held in hand and cautiously approached what I assumed to be a fish coming closer and closer to me.  Guess first catch is a giveaway I grinned.

There it stopped right almost at the edge of the shore where the water was a foot deep.  Since the waters in Equestria were clean and so clear, I leaned in closer to see what the fish looked like.  It was... a clown fish, and I don't mean the tropical marine one, by clown fish literally the creature bore a makeup of a clown.  It was surprisingly large, too.  I lowered my spear and squatted down to get an even closer view.

After looking at it, the fish caught me off guard when it jumped high and squirted a good chunk of water right at my face.  I fell backwards and became utterly bemused beyond comprehension.

Echoing out of the blue, I heard someone chortling uncontrollably.  The sound of his hysterical laughter wasn't any news to me as I knew who the trickster was.

The clown fish disappeared in a magical puff of smoke and there, I saw a very tall, slender creature with appendages of varied animal parts floating above the lake who was bursting into tears of laughter.

"You should've seen the look on your face," Discord chuckled, mimicking my surprised expression.  "Priceless, ahaha."

Discord, as I figured it would have been.  I should have expected that an actual clown fish was a bit fishy right at the start, but there were times I believed that I have seen everything, like a week ago when I saw wolves made out of timber at the edge of the Everfree Forest across the river.  I did remember Fluttershy had told me that they were timberwolves; dastardly beasts that act similar to the normal ones from Earth, except more ferocious.

Losing my train of thought there for a moment, I reverted back to reality realizing my clothes were merely soaked by Discord's prank.

"Heh," I snorted as I rose up, straightening my wrinkled and slightly drenched t-shirt.  "That was a pretty good one, Discord."

Moments had went by while me and Discord shared a few jokes here and there.  He told me a time when he magically removed all of Celestia's hair and ate it on a cone like as if it were cotton candy.  Boy did I laugh so hard from hearing that.  Of course it was just a harmless prank, and Discord did say he gave her hair back to its original form.  How I wished I was there to see it all, though.

When it was my turn telling a joke, I told him there was a time I met Applebloom and her two other friends, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, and when they asked of me where fillies came from, I explained to them that they came from their mother's behinds.

Discord chilled on a floating lawn chair, taking a slight sip of a full glass of chocolate milk.  "So, Rick," Discord began, swirling his cup around with his lion paw.  "How has life been treating you lately?"

I was lying on the ground, my head against the willow tree, arms resting on my stomach and eyes sleepily half-lidded.  "It's... okay so far," I sighed, shrugging.  "I just want to get my own house and a well-payed job, but I can't do anything until I receive notice of Princess Celestia's message."

"Hmm," Discord hummed casually, readjusting his sunglasses.  "Yes, that does sound troublesome, although it wouldn't surprise me if they much as decline the permit."

I turned my head at the draconequus, raising a quizzical brow.  "Wouldn't surprise you?" I questioned.  However I just tossed the thought aside.  "Ah, suppose you're right.  Wouldn't surprise me either, given that they've never seen anything like me before."

"Perhaps they have, or perhaps they haven't," said Discord, spawning a trash bin with a snap of his talon whilst sipping the last of his chocolate milk.

"And what's that supposed to mean, are you saying that there's somebody other than me they've seen?"

Discord held the glass above him, his tongue sticking out to savor one last drop of his drink.  He stared briefly into the glass, probably thinking if there was any more left.  Then, he tossed the dishware in the trash bin and with another snap of his talon the bin disappeared.

The Spirit of Chaos sat up straight and bent his back forward, letting out a loud *crack* or *pop* that made me shudder.  "Well," Discord grunted.  "It appears that I must bid my farewells, Rick.  But before I go I'd like to talk to you about one simple thing."

I too rose up and stretched while shooting a curious look at Discord.  "And what would that be?" I asked.

"It's about that weapon you hold in your suitcase." Discord replied.

My brows narrowed.  "You know you had no right to snoop in my belongings."

"Oh don't look at me like that, Rick," said Discord flatly, crossing his arms.  "I only say this for Fluttershy's safety.  Do you think it is necessary to hold on to something as dangerous as that?"

"I have it so I can protect me and my dear Shy.  You don't have to worry."

"Me?  Worry?" Discord pointed a claw on his chest in question.  "I am the god of chaos.  I needn't to worry on small, ridiculous things.  However, as I said before, I'm just saying that it probably isn't needed.  If there is any trouble with Fluttershy at all, I will be there faster than a heartbeat." Discord took an x-ray monitor and held it over his chest, revealing his tiny, beating heart.

I stared down at the ground, with a palm covering my mouth.  "I'll think about it." I said.

Discord perked a calm smirk.  "Good.  I must be off, for there is a chocolate fountain in Ponyville calling my name."

"Chocolate fountain?  But I was at Ponyville's park not too long ago and I didn't see any chocolate fountain."

"Hm, hm, hm.  Not until now," laughed Discord, wringing his claws.  With a snap, he disappeared.

Chapter Five

Log Five - Chapter Four

The day was nearing its end.  The top-half of Celestia's sun merely peeked from the end of the horizon, coloring the sky above an orange, autumn glow.  Where it was gradually descending to rest, allowing her sister's moon to takeover the spotlight over the great yonder for the rest of the twenty-four hour cycle.

The thin air surrounding me got cold as the breeze brushed coldly against my face's skin.  Darkness approached as time elapsed; the moon started to rise from the east by the time the sun fully descended to the west.  I was packing up my supplies, then I began hearing crickets chirping and the distinct cries of wolves howling far from a distance.  In steady haste I gathered my stuff, buried the bones of the delectable meal I caught and ate, and made my journey toward home.  As I walked, while staring at the black magenta sky, I admired the vast collection of Luna's glimmering stars hanging from the heavens above.  Sure the stars in Equestria were no different than Earth's, but it was just... beautiful to watch - a habit I always enjoyed doing.

It reminded me when I used to camp outdoors when I was just a young boy.  I remembered how I sat next to a campfire, star-gazing rather than listening to my step-father's shitty stories about his years as a wilderness scout or whatever shit he came up with.  Most of the time I ignored him and his stories. Whenever I did pay attention, though, by God did he had a stern, narrating voice.  It had me thinking he could have been some sort of narrator for a hero movie.

Moving on.  Normally I'd venture the usual path that followed the river back to Fluttershy's cottage, but I instead went to Rarity's boutique in order to bring Spike back to Twilight's place.  I told Rarity it'd best we reschedule the appointment for tomorrow, seeing it had gotten late.

"Why of course, Darling," Rarity happily obliged.  "I'll be seeing you later then.  Ta-ta!"

With a simple nod, I resumed walking out the door with Spike following behind.

After bringing the baby dragon back to Twilight's treehouse, it was no surprise that Twilight had asked if I'd come in for another "friendly conversation".  Since I had to get back home before Fluttershy would become more worried, I replied that I'd have no time for another chit-chat.

Twilight, excited as she was, was disappointed from my answer but understood it completely.

"Well, thank you for bringing Spike back home.  I really appreciate it," said Twilight, beaming me a gentle smile.

I stood for a bit, itching the back of my head idly.  "Thanks aren't necessary," I replied, returning her gesture with a small, goofish grin.

Twilight glanced away from me momentarily, as if something caught her attention.  In a mere few seconds she swiveled her sight back to me.

Her ears slightly pinned back, the purple unicorn raised her head and looked at me again.  "Sooo," Twilight started, brushing her right foreleg with her left one as her face's cheeks glowed a faint blush.  "You sure I can't convince you to come in for some sweet tea?" she offered.

Seeing as it was getting late by the minute, I shook my head declining her kind offer.  "Sorry, but I have to hurry," I replied.  "Fluttershy must be very worried that I've been gone this long, and if I don't return home anytime sooner she'll probably become even more worried sick."

"That's true," Twilight agreed, albeit her tone sounded a little discouraged.  "You know Fluttershy - always worrying and whatnot."

"That's just how she is," I huffed out a weak chuckle to Twilight's remark.  "But," I added.  "There is something I've been meaning to ask since I came here, yet I was too focused on the "Celestia getting me a license" business."

In an instant Twilight's ears stood straight up at attention.  "Yes?" she eagerly questioned, her pupils sparkling as she leaned her head forward, listening attentively.

"Since I've only been here for about a whole month, I still know nothing about the locations, the stores and whatever in Ponyville.  So I was wondering... if you'd like to become my tour guide for a week or two?  That is, if you don't have any plans."

"Hmm," Twilight hummed.  She stood there for several seconds, meanwhile rubbing the bottom of her chin thoroughly with a hoof, contemplating.  "Just a sec," motioned Twilight before she closed the door.

I thought it seemed strange she told me to wait, but I considered she probably had to check her calendar or something.  I rocked my arms back and forth, staring up at the stars while I waited for the purple unicorn.

Waiting....  If there was one thing I hated most, it had to be waiting.  Patience hasn't been particularly my thing.  Even when I used to be young I hated it.  Take for an example on my previous log in my diary; that dumbass register guy had it coming when he couldn't scan a damn carton of milk; he'd be better off scooping manure at a farm than working at a grocery store.  Disregarding that little rant there, I watched as the misty clouds shifted to reveal a full moon casting its passionate, lunar gaze down at me.  Its radiance so bright, it formed my very own shadow.  Said shadow only lied there, flat across the ground, mimicking whatever action I did like a mirror.  Whenever I raised an arm or made a single step, it'd do the same.

After a single minute had gone by, Twilight finally opened the door and said, "I took your request into consideration."

"And?" I said, raising a brow.

"And I'll be glad to be your tour guide for a whole week, starting tomorrow at noon." Twilight cheerily finished.

"Great!" I said.  "That'll give me enough time for my errands in the morning.  I'll see you tomorrow."

"Safe travels, and good night." Twilight waved before closing the door once again.

Then, I overheard Twilight saying something beyond her door.  I swore for a second I heard her squealing 'Yes!' repeatedly.

Not sure why she was getting pretty excited, but I chalked it up that being a tour guide must've been exciting for her.  I'd probably be happy too if I got to be something I never was.  Sadly, me becoming an author continued to remain a fantasy; a dream I believed could never come true.  But a man could dream, couldn't he?

I turned around, humming a tune -- 'Time of Your Life' by Green Day -- to myself while treading toward to Sugarcube Corner, hoping I'd make it there before it'd close.

It was four weeks ago -- the second day after my arrival in Equestria -- that I first came to Sugarcube Corner when me, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, including Spike, were invited to Pinkie Pie's 'Welcome to Ponyville' party - a special party dedicated to me staying in their world.  The building was a bakery and confectionery, decked out like what you'd expect a gingerbread house to be.  Except it wasn't literally made out of candy, or at least I hoped not.

Speaking of Pinkie Pie, boy I'll tell ya, she was quite the most bubbly character I had ever met in my entire life.  The minute she'd gotten all hyperactive there was no telling when she'd stop talking.  She'd go blabbering on and on and on, I imagined she would have to stop to breathe.  But no, she'd really could go on talking for hours.  Centuries, if that were even possible.

Thing was, she was incredibly annoying when she wouldn't keep her yapper shut.  Just... people of that kind really tick me off.  They feel the need to talk about anything unnecessary, whether the topics were pointless or not.  I would love nothing more than give the right mind to punch them in the face just so they would shut the hell up.  Of course I wouldn't do such a thing to Pinkie Pie (much as I wanted to) because after all, she's one of my daughter's closest friends.

If I had to say one thing I liked about Pinkie Pie, it would be her sense of humor - a personality I could totally relate.  Replacing Celestia's ink with invisible ink, a bouquet of flowers rigged with sneezing powder, painting the apples of Appleacres of random colors.  All those pranks Rainbow Dash told me were funny.  Not as "comedy-gold" funny but simply funny nonetheless.

Anyway.  When I arrived at Sugarcube Corner it was closed, so I resumed walking on home, disappointed that I couldn't bring the cupcakes I promised to Fluttershy.  While walking, I thought about Discord's interesting riddle.  Assuming it was a riddle.

Perhaps they have or perhaps they haven't.

Was there some other human beside me?  Would I really not be only the only human living in Equestria?  Given the confused, scrutinizing looks from the pony-folk, I would say that they hadn't seen anything like me, so I didn't know what Discord meant by what he said.  Then again, Discord was always a very strange one.

Another concern did cross my mind.  The weapon Discord mentioned; the revolver inside my suitcase.  I knew very well the consequences of possessing a lethal gun, but I wasn't going to stay in a world without any protection.  What if I went out to the Everfree Forest (heaven forbid) for whatever reason alone?  There's no telling what foul, mythical creatures lie in that forest.  I could get attacked and the only thing I'd have to defend myself with would be an ineffective wooden spear and a couple of flint.

That's why I brought the revolver.  If anything or anyone dared to try to harm me or my daughter they'd get a .44 lodged in their skull.

Extra Log #1

Log Six - Chapter Five

At last, after the excruciate and tedious walking, I was standing a couple feet of distance from Fluttershy's cottage.  It had been such a grueling workout; the base of my forehead was sweating uncontrollably, the bottom of both my feet pulsated in soreness as they longed for the relaxation they so desperately needed.  Ever since I came to Equestria, I had been having a subsequent diet of fish meat and confectioneries.  Mostly the latter.  Fish meat's okay when it came to protein, but what would I'd give for some greasy bacon...   Seeing as eating a ton of sweets was not only affecting my weight but it was also bad for my health.  Heck, I didn't have any health care coverage. So I hereby swore myself to lay off the sugary delights as a resolution to this first day of summer's last month - August.  Quite a shame, really, yet sacrifices had to be made for the sake of one's constitution.

     Ponies and their homes in Equestria were small.  A majority of them were either at or a couple centimeters shorter than the waist of an adult human.  This excluded Celestia as she was the exact height of one such as myself.  Because of their teenish size, it became a nuisance having to occasionally lower my head or crawl on fours just to enter each time.  My daughter's home was an exception.

     Her cottage was pretty broad, and the doorways were ideal for me to walk through without having to crawl.  And how would I know?  Because a week and two days ago, when I came home after fishing, there was seriously a bear inside the place and boy was it humongous!  I didn't think anything bigger than me could fit through the front door.  I was dead wrong.  Though much as it pained me to admit I, as a grown man, shouldn't had to live inside a hut crowded with animals.  One of the other downsides was that Fluttershy didn't own a kitchen.

     Just... I know I shouldn't complain about my daughter's home, but this was why I needed a house of my very own - a crib that'd be perfect for me; a home where I'd have a normal couch to sit on, an actual comfy bed that wasn't a sleeping bag, a kitchenette to cook and eat my food in.  And maybe an office for bills or stuff.

     Bless Fluttershy's heart, anyway.  She heavily insisted I'd come to live with her, and I never regretted doing so.  I just hated the burden of freeloading, was all.

     Raising a hand up, I prodded the cottage's door open further, allowing the cool air to spill inside the cottage.  The metallic hinges eerily groaned as the door slowly swung out over the polished wooden floorboards.  An unpleasing stench of animals lingering in the cottage washed over me like a tidal wave the moment the door opened.  It smelled pretty bad, but after living in Fluttershy's cottage for a whole month it's something I kinda had to get used to.

     Lowering my head, I cupped a hand to my mouth and softly hollered, "Fluttershy, I'm home!"

     "Just a second," she too hollered back softly from her bedroom.

     I hanged Fluttershy's saddlebag on a pristine coat rack stand to the right of me.  The stand was made of fine oak; a gift from Rarity at the welcoming party.  The fashionista was generous enough to pair it with a fancy black fedora (guess that'd be why she's nominated as the Element of Generosity). I hadn't worn it since but I didn't deny how 'arguably dashing', as she so lovingly put it, it'd go with my coal-black suit and pants if I wore it.

     After passing the threshold I stood up to my full height, with my head inches away from touching the ceiling, and closed the door behind me.

     I trudged further inward to the center of the cottage meanwhile examining my surroundings; the room was fairly small in size, and held little furniture.  There was a couch along one wall, a light green in color.  The wall it rested on was actually created by a staircase housing an under-the-stairs closet.  Across the couch was a small wooden table.  On it rested a shiny glass vase, and three framed pictures; one which were of Fluttershy and Angel with a group of animals behind them, one of only Angel, and lastly, one of me holding Fluttershy in my arms.  That picture, oh how it had me think back the day we took it.  It was taken several months before the incident -- the tragic day of Angel's death -- back on Earth.  She looked so young and angelic.  Beautiful, I would also say.  As she had gotten older she had retained her beauty, as well as her shyness for that matter.  It'd make one inquisitive about how someone old can still look young and pretty.  N-not that Fluttershy was old or anything.  Actually, forget the last two sentences I've written.  I'll just cross them and this out.

     Popping out of that reminiscing montage, my eyes reverted their bleary gaze back to the luxurious-looking couch.  The mere sight allured the temptation to sit on it, so I did just that.  Moseying on over to the said furniture, I carelessly flopped down onto it as my rump sank into its plush cushion thus relieving the soreness from the bottom of my feet.

     "That's much better...." I sighed in utter relief.

     Untying my black Nikes and pulling them off, I lay them next to the couch.  Stretching my legs over the table, I carefully rested my feet on top of it and closed my eyes temporarily.

     After a minute or two, I raised an eyelid seeing Fluttershy already at the bottom of the staircase.  She was pretty light on her hooves (what with being a pegasus and all), but it was interesting just how quiet her steps were; I didn't hear a single click or clop when she was coming down.  That's where I mused on an engrossing theory -- maybe the gravity here was lighter than that of Earth's, or something else?

     As a man who miserably failed his physics class in homeschool, I can't go 'Bill-Nye' with the whole "universal gravitation" mumbo-jumbo, so I plainly surmised Equestria's gravity being lighter than Earth's.  Simple as that.

     After a couple more steps, all of Fluttershy's hooves touched to the ground floor.  She began trotting elegantly toward me, her pink tail drooping low enough that it was being dragged along the floor as she went.  I've reminded myself a couple of times for the past week that her mane and tail were in need of desperate trimming, but the concern of it would always elude me for an odd reason...

     "Welcome back home, Father," Fluttershy greeted with a warm smile, her pacing becoming slower as she'd gotten closer.  "You must have had an awfully busy day coming home at this late hour." She said.

     "Heh.  It sure was an assiduous day," I replied wearily.  "My feet and legs are so sore I think they're going to be numb tomorrow."

     Fluttershy softly giggled, taking my remark as a joke.  I swear, that delightful giggle of hers sounds as enchanting as an angel.  Who'd I be kidding?  Fluttershy practically was an angel; a heavenly, yellow-furred and pink-maned angel of a daughter whom I loved so very much.

     She neatly strolled around the coffee table and hopped onto the green couch beside me.  "Did you um... end up talking to Twilight today?" Fluttershy asked knowingly.

     "Per usual," I nodded.  "The conversation was cut short when Spike overheard me saying that I was going to Rarity's.  He got so excited that he pleaded to come with," shifting closer, Fluttershy had the upper-half of her body laying across my lap, listening to my words attentively.  "But I can't understand why he never has the guts to tell Rarity how he feels if he's so madly in love with her.  Heck, he had me Pinkie Promise to never tell anyone," I grimaced at the memory of doing the stupid charade for the promise. "Love works in such mysterious ways."

     "But you meant it, right?" Fluttershy questioned.

     "What do you mean?" I questioned back, with an addition of raising a brow.

     "You're going to keep that promise, aren't you?  It's Pinkie's traditional way of trusting somepony.  If you don't stand by your word for it, Pinkie Pie would be terribly upset.  That and you'd betray Spike's trust," she added.

     I blatantly shrugged.

     Fluttershy's brow furrowed as she peered up at me.  "Daaad..." she said, acting discontent.

     "I kid, I kid!" I chuckled while stroking the back of my daughter's neck with a thorough hand.  My skinny fingers swept across her neck, their nerves tickled by the soothing sensation of her buttery-colored fur.  "You know I wouldn't do anything to make your friends upset if it then makes YOU upset," Fluttershy's heartwarming smile returned, which earned a fatherly smile from me.  "As I was saying, the second Spike overheard me saying that I was going to Rarity's he pleaded to come along with, and Twilight didn't mind that at all as long as I'd bring him back home before dusk.  Which I did, in case you'd ask."

     "Definitely sounds like you've had your hooves full.  What else did you do after that?"

     "I hurried on over to Sugarcube Corner afterwards," I bluntly answered without correcting her metaphor of 'hooves' instead of 'hands'. "Sadly it was closed by the time I arrived there.  Sorry I couldn't bring the cupcakes like I promised I would."

     I really couldn't tell her about the talk between Discord and me; the draconequus wanted our meetings at the lake to be our little secret.  I had asked of him why, but his cryptic reply to me was just this: Just because.  Even though I said this before, Discord sure was an odd and mysterious fellow.

     "It's okay," she said, not a single disappointment hinted in her voice.  She leaned the side of her head closer to my chest, her nose nuzzling my neck as she did so.  "I'm just glad you're home safe and sound.  That's all that matters to me."

     It'd be times like this that if you weren't a father you'd probably find this a tad heartwarming.  To me, it was more than that.  I held back a tear I felt was going to come out, because that was the most precious (albeit corny) thing my daughter had ever said to me.

     Pulling myself together, I snuggled her closer and gave a light peck on her forehead.  "And that's one of the main reasons why I love you.  You always seem to know how to brighten your father's mood."

     "I love you too," Fluttershy cooed sweetly.  She then pulled herself out of my embrace and perked her head up at me.  "Dad," she started.

     "Hm?" I hummed as she snatched my undivided attention.

     "Do you... like it here?" She asked, her piercing blue eyes glistening a mixture of anxiety and curiosity.

     It didn't take me a second to reply to an obvious question.  "Of course I like it here,"  I said assuredly.  "What on Equestria gave you that idea?"

     Ugh.  Saying 'What on Earth' would have sounded far more better than that.  But this wasn't my home planet, so I had no choice but to have used the phrase....

     "I-it's just that..." Fluttershy's words began trailing off.  Her eyes were then staring directly at the ground.  "N-nevermind.  Forget I asked." She said defeatedly.

     I knew there was something wrong, so I lent a gentle thumb underneath her chin and leveled her head up where our eyes locked into one another, face to face.  "My dear Shy, as your father it is my solemn duty to listen to anything that troubles you.  Don't be afraid to speak your mind out.  Whatever it is we can talk through it together, but we'll do that tomorrow because right now your father is awfully exhausted.  I also need to write an entry in my journal before I go to bed."

     "Oh, okay." Fluttershy nodded as she shifted herself off my lap.

     It sure was later than ever, and my legs were stiff from sitting in that position too long.  The moment I had freedom, I arched my spine forward until it made a painful 'pop' or two.  After steadily getting up from the couch, I took my a palm over my mouth to mask the yawn that was coming out.

     Fluttershy was already on her way toward the staircase and she too made a graceful yawn.  As she ascended up the staircase, she stopped midway where she could still see me.  "Dad," she called again.

     "Yes?" I replied.

     "Goodnight," she said, her delicate lips stretching to a grateful smile.

     And with that, she went out of plain view and entered her bedroom.  However, I had just noticed something off about my daughter when she was climbing up the stairs....

'Has she gotten a little fatter?'

Chapter Seven

Extra Log #2 - Part Two

When I woke up to realize I was back in my old house and not in Fluttershy's cottage, I was quite shocked.  Well, confused more than shocked.  To be precise, I could say I was literally dumbstruck beyond belief.  I didn't know how I just wounded up back on Earth.  I mean, I conjectured about the culprits responsible; one of which were Discord.  It could have been Celestia, and she could have done it without leaving a note or having my consent.  Or... it could be that it was nothing more than a simple dream and I'm being a total dick for jumping to rash conclusions.  But it's not my fault.  I'm sure everyone probably would point their fingers or hooves at Discord if he just so as much as scratches his ass.  And seeing as Celestia has the magic to send me back and forth between worlds, it was very likely I'd suspected her of such.

     I crumpled and threw the wild assumptions away but still held the plausible idea that it had to be a dream.  There are multiple methods to know when you're in a lucid dream; when one believes he or she is in an unconscious state, one should check their appearance to see if their legs, toes, arms or fingers are either disfigured or missing.  Problem was I checked every part of my body thoroughly (I had pajamas on.  Thank God it wasn't that kind of dream) and every part looked exactly the way they were, so that method didn't really help out much...  Usually if I noticed I'm dreaming I'd think up of something that would then pop out of nowhere before me, so I did exactly that, although my meditating process was short-lived when an elegant, female voice was heard from the living room, guffawing in a boisterous manner.

     More presumptions accumulated inside my (un)conscious brain; would the laughing woman in the living room possibly be Tina?  Come to think of it, I have never, in my entire life, heard her laugh like that.  Thinking it over thoughtfully, I hunched it had to be one of the... mane six.  Okay, I understand the slight comparisons between Equestria and Earth  -- Saddle Arabia (Saudi Arabia), Manehattan (Manhattan), Las Pegasus (Las Vegas) --  yet using the word 'mane' instead of 'main' was just... well, silly to say!  But I wasn't living on my own world, now was I?

     Alas when I couldn't decipher whose laughter it was, I stopped what I was doing and went to go investigate.

     As I hastily crept past the exit of my bedroom and down the empty hallway corridors, my ears caught some quirky sounds I was all too familiar with.

     "Ed why's your helmet tied to your butt?"  Eddy asked, sounding pretty irritated.

     "For protection," Ed replied.

     Judging by the dialogue (while restraining myself from bursting out into a fit of giggles) it appeared whoever the woman was, was watching a repeat of 'Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy' where the three boys were building a treehouse clubhouse on top of a tree.

     It seemed rather peculiar.  Something gnawed at the back of my brain- something that made me suspicious about the whole thing besides the mysterious, chortling person.  It's a weird feeling like when someone dreams of a place they haven't been to yet.  Almost like their mind's are predicting the future.  When I used to be young, I had one of those bizarre experiences; as I said, it's weird since that dream I had was the exact house I bought and lived in.  At first I didn't know why I dreamt of something like that, but years later when I became an adult it actually happened.  Talk about Deja Vu.

     After going through a massive brainstorm, I finally put the puzzle pieces together: this dream I was having was a memory of sorts.  I pulled out my smartphone from my pajamas pen pocket to reveal an interesting revelation.  With a sweep of an index finger on the screen, the calendar on the top-right side depicted the date to be October 9th, 2011; the day before I found Fluttershy.  Sorta explained the 'smashing the alarm clock' reaction.

     Acknowledging the facts, I stashed the phone back into the pocket and continued creeping toward the living room.  Quietly and cautiously, I stretched my neck out a couple inches and took a peek at the person sitting on the couch.  And to my phenomenal discovery, it was not a human but a... pony.  Would have been anticlimactic... if it weren't an alicorn.

     Indeed it was an alicorn, based on Twilight's intuition; I've learned several things of pony culture and different species including the alicorns thanks to her.  An alicorn is a pegasus and unicorn hybrid.  They fly just like any other pegasus but their magic powers are unlike a normal unicorn's.  While their powers are significantly limited, they could still perform spells and rituals not any mere unicorn are capable of performing.  From my understanding, at least.

     So it came to me as a shock that not only was there a female alicorn -- according to Twilight there hadn't been confirmations on the existences of male alicorns --  sitting on her haunches on the couch, laughing her dare to say... plot off to one of my favorite episodes of all time, but I haven't met this certain pony.  As I leaned further outward, I managed to make out some of her features.

     She had a very dark shade of blue of a coat, like the skies during twilight hour.  She also had a translucent mane, rippling and sparkling just like Celestia's.  The mare blew out a hearty chuckle at the part where Ed was slapping Eddy to snap him out of it.  I had to admit, that part got me snickering in the inside.  Back to my analysis; there was an inky-black regal crown resting atop of her head.  Squinting, I managed to catch a glimpse of her mystical horn, although it looked much shorter than Celestia's.  Perhaps the length of an alicorn's horn varied on their age or something.

     I leaned outward a bit more while maintaining my balance, ensuring I wouldn't tumble and give myself away.  Unfortunately, it appeared that the mare had already sensed my presence.  Well, she didn't exactly sense; she had known all along.

     She spoke aloud softly, without as much as giving me a single glance, "How has the view been, human?"

     Alicorns sure were up to their reputation...  I was positively certain I was being stealthily as possible.  "Other than a random stranger who I have no knowledge of is sitting on my couch and is watching cartoon shows on my television set like she own place?  I have to say the view's been splendid," I quipped.  I sauntered my way over to the couch, and as I got closer the mare swiveled her head around to look at me.  There I had a crystal clear vision of her large, aquamarine eyes.  "How did you know I was awake?" I asked, scratching the back of my head curiously.

     She shot me a 'are you kidding me?' expression.  "Hasn't the loud banging sound been proof enough?"  She replied flatly.

     Embarrassed, my face flushed in red as I bit my lower lip.  "Oh... so you heard that, huh?" I muttered, looking down at the floor timidly.

Chapter Eight

Extra Log #2 - Part Three

When one person so happens to wake up in a place where he's not supposed to be, then unexpectedly discovers there's an alicorn sitting on his brown antique of a couch, he would surely stamp that as nothing more than a dream.  And this wasn't just any average alicorn, either.  Frankly it was Celestia's younger sister, Luna, the Princess of the Night, the pony who lowers and raises the moon.  When I closely observed her hair's anatomy, hers and Celestia's sparkling manes were very alike.  Only one consisted color patterns like the rainbow while the other was as extravagant as the night itself.

     After our first exchange of words (while I had made a fool of myself during that time), I settled down next to her on the far left end of the couch and asked a question regarding to what was at hand.  Turned out this was indeed all just a dream based off of a past memory.  Luna explained this was her doing with the use of her magic; a unique spell which creates an alternate reality parallel to a dream.  Almost like a virtual game, except powered by magic.  But the touching, sensing and smelling were astonishingly genuine!  Earlier when I was washing my hands with warm water, I felt the warmth!  As for the orange-scented soap?  I actually smelled the fruity aroma!  The distinct sound of the television?  Nothing different from what I could tell.

     There were, however, complications on how this seemingly differed from a standard dream, so I'll kindly spare the entire conversation and skim to what's really important.

     "So, what exactly are you here for?" I inquired, my feet kicked up on the coffee table as I maintained eye contact to hers.

     Luna turned her gaze to me, cracking a friendly smirk.  Something that I should've been suspicious about, but didn't catch onto.  "Not necessarily any reason.  But my sister has spoken of you around me, and it piqued my curiosity.  I have asked of her and there wasn't much information about you.  All I have learned was that you're a human named Rick from another world.  Is that correct?"

     "Not much information about me, huh?" I crossed my arms, intrigued by this.  "Well I suppose if you're actually here to learn a thing or two about me, I'll be obliged to answer several of those questions.  I'll answer that first one for starters.  Yes.  I'm what you call a homosapien, a technical term meaning for human.  And I indeed came from a planet properly known as Earth.  A homeworld where me and my whole kind live."

     "Interesting," muttered Luna as she stroked her chin with the base of her right foreleg leisurely.  "Judging from your, er..." She then trailed off to a split second of silence.  Her eyes temporarily glanced at the ground, shifting left to right at a moderate pace.  She was trying to think of a word that wouldn't sound farfetched or offensive-like.  "Appearance," Luna continued, "are you in any relation to a primate?"

     "A pretty common thing to talk about, really," I quickly replied, expectant what one of her questions would end up being.  Every movie I had seen where a human falls into an alien planet, it's always with the cliche 'humans looking like apes' concept.  "We may share DNA and that bunch of nonsense, but that doesn't typically mean we share the same intellect."

     "You share similar traits with a species, yet you treat them as inferiors?" Luna asked.

     "In my world, we treat every animal like "inferiors"," I said, using a 'finger quote' gesture at the last word.  "Say like, dogs, cats, and other sort of animal - we cater them as pets and lock them up in cages and stuff.  There are people out there who experiment them for scientific purposes."

     She paused for a moment.  "Define what your kind actually do for these "scientific purposes"," she then did the impression of a 'finger quote' gesture with her hooves.

     "Probably to discover cures for illnesses or whatever.  There are other things I should not say what they do as they it might sound appalling." I replied.

     "Very well," Luna nodded.  "Then let's go ahead and discuss something else like..." she held her words as she stretched one of her hooves out and pointed it directly at my television monitor, "this.  Is it some sort of magical, portal device?"

     "A-ha-ha!" I chuckled while reaching for the television remote.

     Luna cocked a confused brow at my childish response.  "Why are you laughing at my question?  Was it that amusing?"

     "You'll have to pardon me.  It's just that you're the first to have ever asked that.  'A magical portal device', good one." I mockingly snorted.  Luna, on the other hand, didn't find that funny at the slightest.  Shortly after noticing her stern look, I sat back up and cleared my throat.  "Anyway," I began, "this thing here is called a television.

     Saying that, it seemed Luna was becoming more fascinated.  "A tell-a-vision?  Elaborate, if you please?"

     "It's an electronic device often used for visual entertainment, information or education.  It receives signals from several stations and broadcasts them globally."

     I blame the years of watching television for that answer.  Sometimes there are many dull things in life compared to cartoons.  That's why I watch them; cartoons were what made life somewhat more... cheery (if that's the word to put it) and they kept me going since.  And I found it quite funny that I was living in one.

     Luna still bore the look of confusion on her composure, unable to fully grasp the gist of everything I had just said.

     I refrained the urge to face palm and instead hoisted the remote and pointed it at the flat-screen monitor.  "You'll probably better understand it if we watch another cartoon episode.  Here, why not we watch some..." I trailed off for a moment, looking at the programs that were available at the time.  Considering this was based on a past memory, I couldn't help but notice the scheduled programs listed on 'Comcast's Guide'.  Some of the names were easily readable and recognizable such as: Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Kids Next Door (given those are my all-time favorites).  Others were blurred out that they were quite impossible to decipher.  This was, after all, a supposed dream, and based on several facts I've read on about the human mind; when dreaming, things will appear and act a bit out of the ordinary, very much like how a person wouldn't see him or herself in a mirror.

     I bothered clicking on the next episode of Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy.  The screen slowly came alive as the memorized cartoon's theme played.  It was nostalgia all over again, and my lips couldn't help but perk a small smile.

     "This is a prime example of 'good' cartoons," I started.  "A shame it got cancelled right after they made a movie of it."

     "Cancelled?" Luna questioned.  "As in discontinued?"

     "Yeah," I replied. "Not exactly sure why.  But it sure was heck of a blast watching every single season of the series."

     "I know it seems a bother of me to ask this but explain to me abo-"

     Before she could speak any further, I stretched an arm out to stifle her for just a moment.  "Hold on," I interrupted, "this is one of my favorite parts!"

     On the screen there was Eddy, the shortest kid of the trio, with a square head so flat you could practically stand a glass on top of it, carrying some sort of machine strapped to his back, holding a hose of some sort.

     "What's a winter without a snow job, eh sockhead?  Get it?  Snow job!"  Eddy repeated, ensuring that his skinny yet brilliant friend, Double D (his name's actually Edd, but since there's another 'Ed', they preferred pronouncing him 'Double D' to prevent any confusion) got the joke.

     This was where I started snickering uncontrollably.  No matter how many times this was seen, the jokes never got old.  I was very thankful I grew up to this generation of cartoons before Cartoon Network decided to air some garbage that you'd call cartoon television.  'Adventure Time' and 'Regular Show' weren't that bad, actually.  It's programs like 'Johnny Test' that make me want to throw up.  So bad of a show, I would throw up twice just to clarify my hatred towards it.

     In unison, Luna laughed with.  I wasn't certain if it was because she literally understood it, or she didn't want to be that "person in the crowd" and be left out.  Aside from her being a pony, it felt quite nice having somebody around to talk cartoons with.  She was having fun, and I was having fun.  I guess you could say... that I enjoyed having company despite my cynical behavior.

     As time went on, hour after hour, we both had a delightful time watching television.  Even if it's just ran on by memory, it was still a great time.

     After a while (ten episodes to be precise), Luna stretched her hooves wide and exhaled a tired yawn.  "Well, Rick, it sure has been pleasant spending some time with you, but I must now depart for my time here is at an end."

     "Really?" I said while getting up from the couch, arching my back until a resounding pop happened.  "Jeez, time sure flies by."  I weakly groaned.  "I also agree that's been fun.  And that's saying something."

      "Hm, hm," Luna hummingly chuckled.  "Well, I guess this is goodbye.  Again, it's been a pleasure speaking to you.  Perhaps next week I'll pay another visit." She said with a playful wink.

     "I'll be looking forward to it, then.  See you later."

     Waving farewell, the alicorn's horn brimmed with a magical aura and in a flash... she was gone.

     This was definitely going to be a dream worth writing down...

Chapter Nine

Log Seven - Chapter Six

Luna's visit was... quaint to say the least.  I never expected that she would have the unique ability to enter one's dreamland. Like she can just poof in and out at any given time whenever she pleases.  Saying it that way, it frankly makes it an unsettling thought; Luna could intrude upon someone's dream without notice, and there are a number of reasons why that sounds disturbing.  I mean, what if she came barged in on a wet dream?  Yeah...  That'd be quite a conversation starter, to say the least.

Lets dismiss that irrelevance for the moment and focus on more relevant matters.

There I was, slumped over my writing desk... sleeping.  It must have been quite exhausting yesterday for me to spontaneously fall asleep while writing a log in my journal.  Plenty of walking can tire a guy out, especially someone of my scrawny condition; even though I've been eating my share of meat, mainly fish, it wasn't enough to gain any significant amount of muscle, and all the walking around Ponyville and the surrounding area has made me lose a bit of weight. There was muscle in there that for certain, but nowhere near enough to where I'd be proclaimed "muscular".  Safely putting it, I was partially muscular and partially skinny.  Being a writer type-of-guy can be the result of that.  Sure, with all the spare time from the past years I could have been pumping at the gym to stay strong and athletic, but I didn't much care for my weight.  What concerned me more than watching my weight was my career and pursuit to a better future career such as becoming a writer.

Unfortunately chasing that dream turned out futile, and I was stuck with a dead-end job as a journalist.  I'd be saying that IF I wasn't on Equestria.

Having no source of income or a job here wasn't my only problem; the ponies of Ponyville have treated me like a total outcast for that past month.  On rare circumstances a few of the residents would happily share their salutations, but the majority of them would go out of their way to avoid any means of communicating with me.  At one particular time when I had to go on an errand for groceries some of the merchants at the market valley would charge triple the price of their wares because...  I didn't know what!  Far as I was aware, the prejudice they've been given me was only making the 'me fitting in' plan slightly difficult.  Not that I cared, honestly.  As long as my daughter loved me, unbiased for who and what I was, that's pretty much a reasonable excuse why I shouldn't worry about getting alienated by the other ponies.

Still...  If I was going to remain on a magical planet full of equines, gryphons, dragons for the rest of my life, I might as well try to get acquainted with them.  Who knows -- maybe they wouldn't be as asinine as I'm judging them to be if I try making a connection or two.  Perhaps then getting a job wouldn't be hard.

The last thing I'd ever want, however, is to get intimately close.  Twilight may had explained about the shudder-inducing topic of interspecies (omitting how far she delved in the details), but I would never, NEVER put myself that deep in a relationship even if it's a sentient being that shares the same thoughts and feelings like a human does.

But, I digress.  My hand oftentimes has a nasty habit writing whatever my brain thinks.

My formidable adversary; the morning sun, rose steadily to peek over the craggy mountains and spewed its fiery gaze through the small crevice of the cottage's window at my face.  My face scrunched up as the rays burned my eyelids, coercing me to turn my head in the other direction.

Yet the cherishing blissful silence was rudely put at an end when an obnoxious rooster outside began spontaneously crowing to the rising sun.  It crowed loudly for everyone-within-the-vicinity's ears to hear; a foul and subsequent cry which brought nothing more than pain to my eardrums.

"Rrrr...." I growled.  My eyelids closed tighter than a vice as a poor attempt to neglect the fowl's cries but to no avail when it crowed one last time, albeit noisier and prolonging.

Cock-a-doooodle-doooo!

A low grumble escaped my lips as I slowly raised my head up.  "For heaven's sake..." I lazily groaned, managing an inaudible swear or two under a single breath.  "Can't a guy get some peace and quiet without that racket goin' on?!"

Eyes remained securely shut, legs and arms stretching the stiffness out of them, I mouthed an exaggerated quiet yawn -- yawning long enough that my nostrils got a good whiff of my disgusting morning breath smell.  'Ugh.  I should brush my teeth more often...'

Before I began to do anything else, a loud sudden noise of dishes shattering from downstairs startled me wide awake.  Alarmed and worried that this could mean a possible burglary, I instantly jumped to my feet and reached an arm for a silvery suitcase located underneath the desk.  Swiftly I undid the clips and tossed some clothes aside until I found a small, vintage wooden gun case.  This old, yet finely crafted antique made out of oak had a chipped corner, a company logo too faded to read on the lid and the middle hinge out of three was missing.  I hurried opening the box; inside it contained my trusty revolver, and twelve .44 rounds bundled neatly in tiny, separate pouches.

Picking it up and loading it, I maliciously whispered to the unseen fool, "So, planning on stealing from my daughter's house, are you?  You'll rue the day the moment you walked in this house with an intention to steal."

Finally all six chambers were loaded in.  I inched toward the door, grabbed the knob (somehow it was a knob this time...), turned it counter-clockwise and began stepping down the stairs foot by foot cautiously.  Another violent sound of dishware breaking was heard below.  I knew better that my dear Shy would find a hiding place if there was an intrusion.  Well, luckily for the both of us I'm here with a revolver held firmly in my right hand.  The supposed robber, on the other hand, wasn't going to be lucky once I get my hands on him... or her.  Knowing what gender didn't matter, what mattered was whether I should or shouldn't pick an excuse why he/she should live before planting a bullet permanently in his/her skull.

As I descended closer to the living room, distinct noises of different types of animals just got louder and louder; barking, cawing, hissing, squeaking.  They sounded... erratic, as if it were a riot.  Arching a confused brow, I prompted another few ginger steps until the living room came to view.  When I assumed it was a possible burglary, the culprit(s) responsible for the broken dishes were actually a bunch of pissed off animals running amok and trashing the place.  I wouldn't even begin to know where to describe it other than utter destruction!  Literally, nothing in the whole house was whole anymore; there's an angry grizzly bear stuck in a threshold, blocking full entry from the storage closet, a fox chasing a triplet of brown rabbits, a cat clawing the drapes and a vulture eating... Wait- what?  What in blue blazes was that thing eating?!  Better not be Angel, otherwise there'd be hearing no end of it from my daughter.

Tucking the lethal weapon down the back of my pants, I reached the bottom of the stairs.  Suddenly, a blue blur leaving a rainbow trail behind shot right past me.  There was only one pegasus on Equestria who could do that...

"Rainbow Dash," I roared her name, "what the bloody hell is going on around here?!"  She then whizzed past me again.  I didn't think she heard me the first time.  I mean, of course she wouldn't hear me among the deafening racket the animals were making.  "Rainbow Dash!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

She still didn't catch that.

Figuring shouting at her was pointless, I deadpanned and shortly went to fetch a frying pan.  Returning to the spot after retrieving the said pan, I stuck it out forward where she would likely dash into.  Frankly enough, she zoomed in and... wait for it.

'WHAM!'

Bingo.  The cyan pegasus fell face flat to the ground after marking a dent of her face in the frying pan.  Hey, it's a cartoon world.  I'm sure a tough pony like her could handle a simple bump.

'Guess I'll be keeping this as a souvenir' I said in thought, considering the cooking tool was now officially a collectible.  Too bad it wasn't Pinkie Pie, I would have loved to have done that to her.  Eh, perhaps that could happen at another time.  You know, I've always wondered how cartoon characters managed to imprint their faces and bodies on walls, frying pans and the like.  If people did that back on Earth for the comedic value then they'd drop dead like flies. Note to self: ask Pinkie Pie, she'd have an answer to that.

Anyway.  Rainbow Dash hazily sat up, shiny stars orbiting her head until she regained full consciousness.  She instantly shook off the pain and gazed up at me with seething anger.

"What was that for?!" Rainbow Dash angrily exclaimed, now properly up on all four of her legs.

"Because you were ignoring me, so I decided to grab your attention the different way." I quipped, cracking a wise-ass smirk.  "But it's not like that really hurt or anything, right?"

At this point the infuriated pegasus hovered off the ground and came in close to where her nose was practically an inch from mine.  Judging the fury in her eyes, along with her narrowed brows, I had a hunch that whatever I did may have hurt her a teeny, tiny bit...

"Uh, duh, it did hurt!" Rainbow Dash retorted with an angry snort.

Okay, maybe a little...

"Quite a lot, actually!" She then added.

Fine, maybe it did hurt her a lot!  It just seemed funny seeing cartoon characters getting brutally smacked by a blunt object, and they just walk the pain off as if it were an everyday thing.  I mean, look at Tom and Jerry!  The cat got pounded, burned, shredded.  He even got dismembered for crying out loud!  Then again... him screaming in agony may have been solid proof enough that it could had been abhorrently painful.

"So, jerk," said Rainbow Dash, crossing her forelegs, "what do you want?"

Aside the fact that there was a big-eyed pegasus right in front of my face, I retained my composure and returned her glaring stare.

"A rather good question.  But I have a better question: what's going on around here?!" I yelled in Rainbow Dash's ear which caused her to fall onto the ground on her stomach yet again.

Rainbow Dash gradually sat up to her haunches, groaning.  "Ow...  Did you really have to yell that close?"  She said as she scrubbed an aching ear with a hoof.

"Stop whining.  Now answer me; what are you doing here and why are you tendering the animals?  That's usually my daughter's job."  While Rainbow Dash continued soothing her ear, plus the commotion from the animals happening in the background, my gaze lowered to her flank and they widened in pure shock.  Instead of her traditional cloud and lightning cutie mark, she had three butterflies that were... similar to Fluttershy's.  "Um... i-is t-that Fluttershy's cutie mark?" I stuttered apprehensively, pointing a quivering index finger down at her flank.

"For your information," Rainbow Dash started, "it's mine.  I can only remember that I was napping on a cloud, then the next thing you know I woke up here with this cutie mark."

Hearing her story, it seemed too implausible.  Twilight heavily stated that it was nigh-impossible for any unicorn to tamper a pony's cutie mark.  Heck, she made it clear that not even an alicorn had the capability.

Running a hand through my messy hair, I pondered, 'Then who would have that kind of power?  It'd have to be some sort of god who wields greater chaotic magic than Celestia.  Wouldn't be Luna...  Wait... go back for a second; "greater chaotic magic than Celestia"... "chaotic magic".  "chaotic"'

After putting two and two together, the results added up to...

'DISCORD!'

Chapter Ten

Log Eight - Chapter Seven

"Now answer me.  What are you doing here and why are you catering the-"  Before continuing, I ducked my head from an oncoming group of birds being chased by a hungry hawk.  That was too close for comfort.  "As I was saying... Why are you catering the animals?  That's usually Fluttershy's job."  While Rainbow Dash soothed her aching ear, my gaze lowered down to her flank and widened in shock.  Instead of her cloud and lightning cutie mark, there were a trio of butterflies with pink wings and cyan bodies; butterflies that were very similar to my dear Shy's...  Mouth slightly agape, I raised a quivering finger and pointed at her flank.  "I-isn't that Fluttershy's c-c-cutie mark?"

"For your information, it's mine," Rainbow Dash corrected.  "And what are you talking about?  You know full well that it's my destiny to take care of these animals, Dad."

Just like that, a sound effect of glass shattering occurred when my eyes widened even further.  Did... did Rainbow Dash just straight up called me...

No.  No, surely that had to be a part of my imagination; maybe I misheard her due to the ruckus going on around us.  Yeah, that had to be it.  Cleaning the wax out of a right ear with a pinky finger, I leaned my head closer to her.  "Come again?" I asked, nervousness edged in my tone.  "For a second there I swear I heard you mistook me as your father, ahaha... ha." I anxiously chuckled.

Rainbow Dash cocked a confused brow at me.  "Uh... did you hit your head along your way down here, Dad?  I mean, duh, it's me; your little dashie."

I didn't respond right away.  In fact, I remained silent for the duration of the time.  Standing like a statue, pupils shrunk to the size of pins in sheer horror, I was completely beyond dumbstruck where my brain plunged into a surreal zone from reality.  There was my conscience, lost; floating alone in an abyss of nothingness.  Words of terror echoed around: 'Rainbow Dash... is my daughter.  My daughter...  Rainbow Dash...'

Back in the physical world, Rainbow Dash continually stared at me this entire time, having not the slightest clue what was going on.  She took flight and hovered head-to-head level, bewildered upon my sudden, frozen state.

"Dad... you okay there?" Rainbow Dash asked worriedly.  She merely approached and knocked my forehead a few times with a gentle hoof.  "Helllooo."

Though as deliberately gentle as she tried, her clunky hoof was only hurting my noggin.  After the fourth time she tapped against my forehead, the golden gateway of reality inside my mind burst open.  Behind it spilled forth an immense wave of light.  The darkness surrounding me evaporated from the brilliant luminescence (the light being an interpretation for Dash's hoof whilst the darkness was an interpretation for my bewilderment).  With Rainbow Dash breaking me from my trance, I quickly shook my head and rubbed my temples.

"Sorry about that.  I guess I suddenly lost my train of thought there for a while." I said.

"Whew," Rainbow Dash whistled, wiping away sweat off her face, "You had me worried there for a second." She then beamed me a relieving smile.

This was rather awkward.  Awkward as in I knew nothing of Rainbow Dash besides her boastful personality and her need for adventure and that bunch.  To a brony, I guess they'd probably 'd'aww' all over that.  To her father, he'd smile back.  Me?  I was stumped as a dunce figuring out a zero plus zero equation but not because Rainbow Dash was concerned for my health (to be honest, that thought did unsettle me) but the disconcerting fact that she was calling me her father.  Having Equestria's best flyer and coolest pegasus as a daughter would sound neat... IF I wasn't a father of a pegasus already.  Seriously.  I wanted my kind, elegant, timid and loving Fluttershy, not... THIS!  Yet the only way I could solve this predicament would be to find the culprit responsible and have my good pal 'Silver' (of course my revolver has a name, in case anyone was curious) "politely" persuade 'em into fixing this mess.

I recapped a conversation I had with Twilight about cutie marks back at her tree house (a week ago it was): Twilight was quite sincere in her statement that -- far to her knowledge -- a simple unicorn cannot tamper with another pony's cutie mark, let alone swap it with another.  She also stated that not even an alicorn has the magic to do that.  So based upon those facts, I took a moment to ponder on the myriad of possibilities.

'So who would be capable of pulling this off, then?' I mentally questioned to myself thoughtfully.  'Twilight said it herself, "there's no way a mere unicorn, or an alicorn, can tinker with a pony's cutie mark".  Come on, Rick, think.' I clenched my left hand into a fist and bonked the side of my head in hope an answer would reveal itself to me.  After a minute... nothing.  The reason?  Cartoon logic.  Some of the brainless characters I've seen can unexpectedly come up with the greatest idea just from a smack on the head -- whether the object would be a bat, a piano or an anvil.  Ah, an anvil.  Classic.

Now wasn't the appropriate time to trail off again.  I had to come up with an actual solution.  Rainbow Dash has my daughter's cutie mark, she's mistaken me as her father and believes it's her destiny to tend the animals.  The culprit couldn't have been Luna, considering she's an alicorn.  Cadence?  I've heard of her from Twilight, but she too was an alicorn so there went that plan...

Interrupting the middle of my musing, Rainbow Dash rested one of her hooves on my right shoulder.  "You sure you're all right, Dad?  You've been acting strange since... just now.  It's kind of creeping me out."

"Yeah just give me a sec," I replied aloud and curtly shrugged her hoof away.  I planted a palm over my mouth, glancing down at the floor pondering intensely.  'It has to be someone who wields magic greater than Celestia's.  Why, that guy would have to be so chaot-'  I suddenly stopped in mid-thought.  The cogs in my head were slowly turning, and I eventually became aware of the jackass who'd be responsible causing this much mayhem.  It all made sense now...

My face boiled slightly crimson as I narrowed my brows until they couldn't go any narrower.  I silently blurted some incoherent, murderous threats at Discord; to put it blunt, by the time I'd be done with him he'd be shredded to pieces.  Well, at least that's how I fancied the scenery.  Truthfully, despite how enraged I was, I'd have no chance of causing harm to a possible god.  Still, that speculation wasn't going to stop me from pursuing his sorry ass.

Since I was already wearing shirt and pants, I quickly retrieved my boots next to the green couch and slipped them on.  I then made a beeline to the front door afterwards.  I extended an arm for the front door's handle, but I was once again halted by a yelping Rainbow Dash.

"Whoa wait a minute!" she shouted.  "Where are you going?!"

"I have to go somewhere.  It's important." I said, peering over my shoulder with my hand squeezing the cold handle.

"Does it have to be right now?  I could really use a bit of your help here right now!" Rainbow Dash rotated halfway and pointed at a... sleeping crocodile?!  What the bloody hell!?  "What could be more important than helping your daughter in her time of need?"

"...I don't know." I answered dumbly.

Rainbow Dash was still suspended in the air as she put her hooves onto her hips, irritated.  "What do you mean you don't know?  Are you lying just so you can ditch on me again?"

It's not everyday that someone caught me with my hand in the cookie jar.  Figuratively speaking, of course.  And from Rainbow Dash?  Color me slightly impressed; here I presumed every pony were as gullible as they'd come.

"Uh..." I mindlessly uttered, sweaty beads slowly forming and trickling down the side of my face.

Rainbow Dash leered at me.  They say an angry woman leering at you is sort of a scary thing.  But coming from a pony in this instance, it's not at all intimidating.  "No, not this time!" She yelled.

Time was of the essence.  I wanted- er no, NEEDED to get out of here as soon as possible before I get dragged into 'animal cleaning duty' again.  I had to clean after the bear's "massive mess" the last time I did that.  I didn't know what Fluttershy fed it, but damn whatever that creature ate almost made me pass out from the nauseating smell!  And here I'd have to do it again?  Two words.  Screw.  That.

Being the quick thinker I am, I tapped a finger on my chin profusely until, I kid you not, a dimmed light bulb appeared out of the blue and lit up above my head.  I'd be lying if I said this'd be the first time it has happened.  Gracious no.  This was like a third time it did that.  My initial response to it was bemusing, but the second time may have occurred to me that the longer I stayed here, the more I become affected by the magic, and oddly the 'toon effect'.  Wouldn't surprise me if I see floating stars after I'd hit my head on something or vice-versa.

"You see uh," I started, eyes scanning the animal's growing destructive behavior.  "Oh, don't you remember yesterday that we were running low on food?"

"We did?" Rainbow Dash queried.  She turned to look at the bear that was now free from being stuck in the storage closet housed under the stairs, and there she spotted three empty sacks sprawled across the floor with labels on them; seeds, food and vegan mix (again if curious, a vegan mix bag has various dried vegetables and fruit used specifically for certain herbivores).  "Huh.  I didn't notice we ran out so quick."

This elicited a facepalm from me.  'For pete's sake, Rainbow Dash, now you're making me feel sorry for the animals more than you...'

The pegasus swiveled her sight back to me, her stern look softening a bit.  "So you see," I played on a sly smile, "I recently remember why it was important for me to go out; we need to restock the animal's food supply.  Perhaps that's the reason they're acting very cranky, they're obviously hungry."

Rainbow Dash crossed her forelegs and pondered it over.  She then shot me a scrutinizing stare before coming to a conclusion.  "Well... alright."

I brushed a hand through my hair, sighing inwardly and relievingly.  "Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it."  Not really.

"You better." Rainbow Dash said sternly.

I simply nodded.  Without paying attention, head still peered over my shoulder, I pulled the door as recklessly swift as I could manage.  The wooden gate swung fast and whacked the back of my head with such brute force.

I firmly bit my bottom lip and hissed a series of incoherent swears at the inanimate object.

"Oh my gosh, Dad, are you okay?!" Rainbow Dash cried as she witnessed the whole thing.

"I'm fine!  Just tend the animals!" I bellowed, angry at my own carelessness.  I could feel a swelled-up bump in the back of my head, throbbing.  Fortunate I wasn't at that stage where I would've been seeing stars.  'God... damnit.  That's going to sting tomorrow.' Rubbing the sore spot, I carefully lowered my head and stepped outside whereas from behind I slammed the door shut so hard that a hinge came loose.  I huffed out a disgruntled sigh.  "Shit...  Guess I'll have to fix that when I get back."

A sudden, chilling gust of ice-cold wind went up my spine. Tucking my head down and folding my arms to keep them warm, I started treading the dirt path down into Ponyville, but something caught the corner my eye.  It was small, a white speck floating downward.  It softly landed on my forehead, greeting me with an icy touch.  Snow?  I didn't know the weather team was scheduled for any snow today.  On the last month of summer....  Craning my neck skywards, I definitely saw that it was not the work of the weather pegasi as the clouds were arranged in a checkered pattern against the blue sky.

The sight of such nonsense only lead the suspicion back to Discord.  "Damnit Discord."  I scorned what could had been the umpteenth time this morning.  I was so angry that steam practically billowed out of my ears.  As I grumpily stomped my way toward Ponyville, another unfamiliarity caught my glimpse.  There, mellowing on a lonely lilypad in the pond, sat a... orange?  In disbelief, I squinted to make out the green-like toes and limbs the fruit had.  The moment the thing croaked like a frog, I was taken aback and resumed walking toward Ponyville, pretending what I had seen was just my imagination.

Father's Day Special

Log Nine - Chapter Eight

"Oi..." I exasperatedly sighed as I walked further down the dirt-beaten path toward Ponyville, fingers pinching the bridge of my nose.

What could had been one of the many peaceful days; a beautiful day where I could had woken up at a relative time; a day where I could had been sitting down at my writing desk and continue from where I left off on a novel-in-progress -- 'Light & Darkness' -- with a fresh cup of Silver Leaf brewed by my precious daughter.

But no.  Instead I had to get myself mixed up in one of what I reckoned to be Discord's antics.  I could tolerate the whoopee cushions, him giving me near heart attacks whenever he randomly pops in without warning.  And don't get me started on him turning me into a pony that one time while I was asleep.  Should had seen my overreaction when I woke up with hooves instead of hands.  Thank God it was merely a prank.  But him swapping Rainbow Dash's cutie mark with my dear Shy's? This was the straw that broke the camel's back. This was where he crossed the line!  Because of him I had a Rainbow Dash for a daughter, and the entire cottage was out of order.  It was a pigsty.  I couldn't bear to stay there for another minute.  To top it off, it seemed he dicked around with the weather.  You could also say the orange frog he made had me 'hop' back in shock.

That pun was unnecessary and uncalled for...

Regardless.  When I first arrived in this world, I knew of the adventures my daughter and her friends get into, the changelings and their hunger for love, the unspeakable atrocities in Everfree Forest.  I wanted none of that.  The moment I began a new life here all I wanted was to own a home, apply for a decent-paying job to pay the taxes, write a horror novel in isolation.  That's all.  I had no intention enrolling in some crazy, epic adventure that would likely have me get charred by a fire-breathing dragon, turned to stone by a cockatrice or become enslaved by an underground empire of diamond dogs.  I prefer living a normal, quiet, non-life threatening paradise.

The only person who managed to liven up things around here was none other than... Discord.  Don't get me wrong, the reformed spirit isn't at all that terrible if you didn't mind being turned into a pony without any regard.  Frankly, I somehow enjoy his company.  The guy's got a great sense of humor, and since he was a god (debatable) he could bend anything to his will and conjure up all sorts of stuff out of thin air.  As I stated earlier about him livening things up, Discord sure as heck keeps me from being bored.  Why if I hadn't met him, I could figuratively say I would have died from boredom.  Though I'm uncertain about his... "randomness" (a lack for a better word).  I mean sure, with magical powers you have to make use of them.  Discord, on the other hand, uses magic in the weirdest ways that are nonsensical.  But I must confess and agree with Discord: "What fun is there in making sense?"

However.  Whatever he did here disrupted that oath.  This was a prank that had gone too far, and I planned to do something about it rather than rant 'til the problem would fix itself.

If I had known that it was going to be cold outside I would have buttoned on a coat.  I wasn't sure what I was going to do when  I reach my destination, I hadn't been awake long enough for much rational thought, but dammit I wasn't going to let this slide.  I deserved an explanation, or an apology.  Actually, both an explanation and an apology would suit just fine.

First things first, much to my dismay; I needed to consult Twilight about this dire situation.  Only she would probably have the solution to all of this.  Why not Celestia?  Pardon me for not having a mailbox that could scorch and regurgitate parchment letters.  Though if this so much would become some sort of adventure, I'm walking away.  I didn't care if it meant the end of the world, I'm not getting myself involved.

Giving the sky another glance, the white and black checkered pattern clouds overhead were seemingly more violent than before.  A storm cloud was raining, emitting roaring thunder whilst a neighboring winter cloud was storming a blizzard.  Quite a conundrum Discord wrought.  Where were the pegasus, though?  I would have speculated that they'd clean all this up.  Something was definitely wrong here; what if Discord returned to his evil ways?  With Rainbow Dash and presumably the others' cutie marks switched, that would spell disaster with a capital D for everyone.  Including myself.

I upped my pacing and prayed for the best.

After the monotonous walking, I was finally in Ponyville.  Was somewhat glad to see the town wasn't in ruin or the sort.  Guess I was harsh accusing Discord of being evil.  But I still believed that he had to be responsible for the sky, the frog, and Rainbow Dash's cutie mark.  As it turned out, the weather over half of the village farthest from the cottage was quite nice.  Not a single cloud in the sky as far as the eye could see... unless you'd turn around.  I noticed something peculiar when I got here: all the townsfolk were trotting around with their heads low to the ground and venomous glowers on their faces.

Unaware of my presence, a bland-gray earth pony stallion with a brownie-colored mane bumped his head against my back thigh.  I turned to face the clumsy pony, and my oh my were the bags underneath his eyes dark and gloomy.  Almost made me mistake him as a goth.  He glared daggers with his large oval-shaped eyes at me, bitterly frowning.  "Watch where you're going, bub!" he barked acidly.

He then shoved me aside and just... trotted away.  I blinked.  That was abrupt, and odd to say the least.  Was everyone on their period or something?  Were they aware of the plight that would soon befall them?

Much as I wanted to return a nasty comeback, I couldn't; the punk was already long-gone before I even considered it.  Well, he wasn't worth wasting my breath anyway.  To his back I flipped him the bird and continued walking through the village's streets, avoiding bumping into any other stallion or mare for the possible chance I'll get scowled at again.

'Should have brought a map...' my brain scolded me for the third time as I wandered helplessly around town.  Another problem was at hand; I got myself lost in this labyrinth of thatched huts.  'We've passed that confectionary twice already.'

'Will you shut up!  I'm capable of knowing where we're going.' I retorted.

'Was that before or after you tried asking a pony for directions?" my brain snarked.  'Not that it mattered.  Obviously everyone's too pissed to give you directions.  Too pissed to talk to you even.'

'Maybe if you'd stop antagonizing me, I could find out where we are.'

'Maybe if you didn't waltz out the cottage before thinking it through, we wouldn't be in this situation.  I mean, the map inside the saddlebag was literally hanging on the coat rack stand next to you.  But you were so steamed up that you forgot about it. Face it.  You have no idea where we are now and you're too ignorant to admit that.'

'You don't even know me.'

'Don't even know you?  I practically am you!  If that was some sort of excuse, clearly it's a horrible one.'

I rubbed both my temples vigorously, frustrated.  'I don't know why I'm even arguing with myself...'

'Neither do I.  Funny that ever since you came here you've been acting strange lately.'

'Whatever do you mean by that?' I inquired.

'For starters you're talking to yourself.  Almost as if the air here is affecting your fragile mind, making you senile.  As it would seem.'

'Senile?' I scoffed.  'Don't be so ridiculous.  Who would bring up that idea?'

'You.'

'Get out.'

And like that, the sound of a door slamming was heard.

I decided to screw it and move on locating the direction towards the lake.  Finding Twilight would have been a lost cause anyway.  I hunched that even if I got there she probably wouldn't be home.  What would the trip be for then?  A waste of time, really.  The unpredictable and violent storm clouds that WERE over in that general area the last time I checked have seemingly expanded, so I had no other choice but get to the lake as swift as possible and confront Discord before the conditions become too unstable to handle.

As I circled around town and inadvertently ended up at Sugarcube Corner for the third time (without the bickering of a pestering brain...), I took a minute to muse where the lake would be located from here.

'Okay,' I sighed confidently, observing my surroundings, 'if my memory serves me correctly, Canterlot should be north-west from here.  If so then the lake should be...'  As deep in thought as I was, I couldn't help but notice two streams of ponies; one entering the confectionery store and the second coming out.  It was like a production factory! The line going in had frowns and the line coming out had the most sour looks on any face I had ever seen!  Much worse than when they went in.  I couldn't imagine the poor sap who got stuck with Pinkie Pie's cutie mark.  Which could only mean...  Oh ho ho!  Pinkie Pie must be having the time of her life without being in her element!  Which cutie mark did she get?  Rarity's?  Applejack's?  How it would bring me joy just to see her right now.  That would certainly explain the rotten behavior of the townsfolk.

The mere thought etched a devious grin from ear-to-ear on my face.  I had to go inside to see what the hubbub was all about, I'm certain sparing a few minutes shouldn't hurt; just a quick peek, that's all.

I sauntered to the entrance and inched the door open halfway.  Partially peeking my head in, the interior was almost  identical as the exterior; there were golden, intricate swirl designs sketched across the dark chocolate painted walls, the polished tiled floor had a lighter brown color, kind of looked like a gigantic scored chocolate bar, just nonedible, and a couple candy-cane styled beams supporting the second floor overhead.  Cracking the door further, I saw an entire plethora of ponies watching a miserably failing, out-of-view pony blowing balloons up.

One of the spectators of the audience called out to the unseen performer, "You call that blowing a balloon?  My wife can blow better than that."

Okay, that there earned an hysteric snicker from me.  Clearly the pony and everyone around him was either too miserable or too oblivious to find the humor in his blatantly dirty joke.

"I-I'm sorry, everypony," apologized the whimpering performer who sounded female, "I'm trying my hardest..."

The moment that disheartened, familiar voice rang my ears the bright smile on my face instantly anchored to a frown as I realized who the 'poor sap' was.  Heart suddenly hammering against my chest like a jackhammer, I pushed the door all the way to get a clear vision.  Alas, my fears were as suspected; the entertainer, a yellow-furred and pink-maned pegasus to be accurate, was none other than my dear Shy blowing up balloons in a fruitless manner in front of a displeased audience.

She picked up one more funny balloon, determined to do it right this time, but after another deflating defeat, the crowd expressed their contemptuous booing at the pitiful display and then trotted themselves out of the lobby in a single file.  The nerve of those heathens, belittling my dear Shy like that.

The demoralizing treatment they threw at her deepened my frown, inciting me to leer and wave an angry hand at them as they passed along.  "Oh boo yourselves!" I hollered skeptically.  "You wouldn't know entertainment if it bit you in your plots!"  I wasn't keen resorting to use what could be deemed as foul language by pony standards. The last time I threatened to shove a stick up a pony's ass, they thought I was referencing 'ass' as a donkey.

I didn't want to admit it, but I must say that it was awful watching Fluttershy humiliating herself like that.  My initial thoughts were that if Rainbow Dash had my daughter's cutie mark, I reckoned Fluttershy would have had hers, too.  I didn't expect it'd be her who ended up with Pinkie Pie's cutie mark, and after I called her a poor sap...  Though if anybody believed I was going to stand around and let her continue ridiculing herself, they'd be sadly mistaken.

As soon as it was just me and Fluttershy alone in the room for the meanwhile, I quickly walked over and knelt down to her.  She had her head hanging low and paid no attention to my presence until I was the first to speak out.

I lent her a sympathetic hand, "You okay?" I asked concernedly.

She raised her head up, brushing away her mane to reveal her pearly eyes welling in tears, ready to burst open like a floodgate. It wouldn't take a genius to tell that her spirit had been crushed under the sheer weight of a thousand stampeding hooves, the only difference being is the hooves are words in this case.  Seeing her this discouraged ached the pit of my heart sincerely.  But that was nothing compared to what I was unprepared for when she replied, "Oh..." Fluttershy squeaked, "Hi, mister Gartners."

Chapter Eleven

Extra Log #3

How many heartaches does a man go through in his supposed single lifetime?  Once?  Twice?  As many as you can count?  For me, it's six.  The third was at its worst; the moment my dear Shy was taken away from me.  It's completely heart-wrenching when a father's daughter gets taken away from him.  Sometimes they get to be lucky to see them an amount of times per year.  Compared to those who don't, though, it would shatter them.

And here I am in Sugarcube Corner, heart afflicted after hearing my own daughter pronouncing my last name.  Normally she would say "Hello, Father," in that soft and quiet tone that'd always warm the deepest depth of my heart.  Instead I got called formerly by my last name, as if I wasn't sentimental to her.

I was kneeling down on one knee, both arms widely spread in preparation for a loving embrace.  "W-what?" I said with a nervous smile; my voice sounded a little cracked, and a sweatdrop formed on the left side of my forehead.  The drop trickled down, tickling the thick and wiry strands of my sideburns.  "My dear Shy, don't you recognize who I am?"

Fluttershy responded just above a whisper, her sad demeanor instantly turning confused, "I don't know what you mean, mister Gartners," and there it was again; I felt another pin of pain pricking inside the left side of my chest.  "But my father calls me by that... but... you can call me that, too.  Only if you want to, that is."  She said timidly.  Fluttershy lowered her head at a degree where her mane obscured most of her features, to the point her eyes couldn't be seen.

"No..." I muttered below a whisper, quiet that it was inaudible even to an elephant.  The white clouds in my head were converting to black as my anger started to rise.  A storm was brewing, and by the looks of it - it doesn't look too pretty.  "Not this again," I sharply muttered once more through clenched teeth.  "How many more times is this going to happen to me?"

Fluttershy perked up and brushed her mane away.  She must have sensed something was troubling me.  "Mister Gartners, are you okay?"

Her words were only blurred out by my anger.  I mainly focused staring at the ground, refraining the urge to cry.  The thing was that: I didn't want to cry; I was far too angry to cry.  I had dealt with this enough times already.  My daughter didn't recognize me, and she said it herself that it's what HER father calls her as when I'M supposed to be her father.  I had enough of these shenanigans.  Harmless prank or not, I was going to confront Discord no matter what.  Slowly, I rose to my feet, my eyes never leaving the floor the meanwhile.

Fluttershy backed up anxiously, her mouth opening as she was ready to say something.  My darkened eyes then looked at her.  She suddenly closed her mouth and froze stiffly in place, recoiled by my vicious stare.  I turned away stomping toward the confectionery's exit.  Stopping right at the threshold, I raised a hand that soon balled into a shaking fist and punched the wall as hard as I could.   I didn't feel any pain on impact.  In fact, it went straight through without any problem, almost like it was out of cardboard.  If I wasn't so damn angry I would've been impressed on how I managed to punch a hole without difficulty or effort.  But I was too busy thinking morbid things.  This elicited a frightened yelp from a timid pegasus behind me.  I then pulled my arm back, briefly gazed at the gaping hole in the wall, and left the confectionery without uttering another word.

One thing was certain: Silver's going to claim his next victim....

Chapter Twelve

Extra Log #4

With a mighty push of the double doors, I stormed out of the confectionery and proceeded marking my path toward the lake.  The ponies who were single-filed in line had the courtesy to step aside, despite their foul behaviors they displayed moments ago.  Perhaps it could had been because they hadn't abandoned their city's tradition to strangers, or whatever.  Or it had to be the livid scowl on my face that gave the hint they should step out of harm's way.

Didn't matter.  I sure as heck was more pissed than I ever was before.  The mental storm stirring inside my head raged harder.  Both my cheeks were flushed rosy red.  Teeth bared, gnashing.  Eyes cracked slightly red from crying in conjunction with anger.  Steam billowing out of my nostrils.  I never felt this angry ever since those years ago -- back in the adolescent days -- when my foster father often pelted me with a leather belt as a way of punishment.

There'd be a saying for this: "It is easy to forget those you liked, but it is not easy to forget those you hate".  I'm sure that's how it's pronounced.

Yeah, I hated my foster father with a passion of a thousand suns.  He abused me as an act to toughen me up.  "Men don't cry like little babies.  Compassion is for the weak," he'd say.  Cruel, yet his lessons were mentally implemented solidly.

However, let me put that on hold and get right to the part where I found the way to the lake from Ponyville, but I had lost the track of time the moment I got there.  As I walked tiredly to the willow tree I looked up into the sky, a right hand over my eyes to shade the sunlight, and examined the sun's position for a little while.  To roughly estimate how long it took me from the confectionery to the lake, I had to say the trip may had been an hour and a few minutes without a single break.

I stopped right under the willow tree just as my legs, pulsating in soreness, were about to give in.  As I finally sat down in the shade, reclined against the tree, a sudden rush of cool air washed over my face.  Such a nice therapeutic treatment to have after the monotonous walking.  That, and to hide from the intense heat of the sun.  I wearily gazed at the sky once more, whereas I observed a couple miles ahead there were the checkered-pattern blizzard and storm clouds.  The mere sight immediately reminded me of Discord again.  There'd be no telling what I was going to do if I ever saw his face.  The first thing I imagined I'd do was Shoryuken his sorry tail.  POW!  Right in the kisser.   Unfortunately... the god of chaos in question wasn't anywhere to be found at the sparkling lake, which made me hunch I may had had arrived a bit early.

That said, I then decided to take the perfect opportunity to unwind and earn some rest, considering I never got all the hours of sleep I needed.  After all that's happened recently, I believed an hour of sleep was what the doctor ordered.  Heck, maybe I might wake up less bitter and let Discord off with another warning.  Just like the many previous times he pushed my buttons.

'Well, I guess we'll have to wait until then,' I said in thought before my eyelids grew heavy.  I leaned my head against the tree's rigid bark, blearily watching the sun's distorted reflection dancing along the lake's rippling surface, eyes slowly closing.  "I just hope everything will go back to," I paused to let out a stifling yawn, "normal..." a small whisper escaped me before I had completely fallen asleep.

Chapter Thirteen

Log Ten - Chapter Nine - Part One

Sleeping is quite refreshing, it revitalizes the body and mind.  I tend to find myself quickly tempered and act before rationally thinking most of the time.  That would be a viable reason why I eat food with a dash of my secret sauce every day.  Its potent contents put me in a better mood.  However, I realized this morning when everything became FUBAR that I completely forgot to take some.  Thankfully, having an or two of undisturbed sleep alternatively helps throw the cares away.  Rarely it does, though.  But hey, not everything works the way you intend it.

After some time, around an hour or more-ish, a chilling breeze swept by and shivered me awake.  I started the awakening routine as the per norm; a wide and simple stretch, followed by a vigorous yawn.  I idly scratched the itchiness off my back as I sat upright, eyes still closed, and arched my neck for a crackling pop or two.  I stretched my legs lazily outward to purge the stiffness, until all of a sudden my right leg's muscles tightened, thus snapping me to a full-awake state.

"Crap!" I immediately yelped, my eyes shooting wide open from pain.  I instinctively grasped the part of the leg where the cramp was, massaging it to soothe the pain a little bit.  Through gritted teeth, I cried out, "Charley horse!  Charley horse," and kept gently stroking the calf muscles for a solid minute or two.  Soon the cramping torture finally had came to an end.  "Damn these cramps..." I bitterly grumbled.

While waking up with a bad cramp wasn't what I expected, sleeping did manage to help ease my anger a little bit.  Pondering, I felt that I had been somewhat harsh with the whole speculation of Discord going back to his evil ways.  I mean, Discord once admitted that being reformed wasn't as bad as he turned it out to be.  And I could tell he was pretty sincere on that statement, so maybe my anger got the better of me.

For the second time, though, a cold wind gusted by, catching me off guard.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach.  "Jeez, when did it get a bit windy all of a sudden?  Not to mention freezing."

An unknown sense told me to look up, so I did.  To my little surprise, there was the sky -- crystal clean and blue as it ever is -- and not a sign of a particular canopy of a willow tree that was supposed to be shading me from the sun's rays could be seen anywhere.  Then, an annoying honking noise of a duck's quacking was heard not too far, and I turned to the wailer's whereabouts.  There the obnoxious foul was, blissfully flying through the air solo, soaring along until the feathered fellow flew beyond my field of vision.  Never to be seen again.

I swiveled my view back to front and arched a confused brow.  'What on Earth would a duck be flying so low to the grou-' my train of thought was then halted when realization dawned on me.  'The *lake*, it's gone!'

Mouth agape, I stared directly at the scene where the lake should had been, trying to figure out what in blue blazes was happening here.  My hand reached for the ground, and for a very bizarre reason I felt something cold, yet incredibly soft.  Like fluffy soft.  If I'd known better, I'd known that mud isn't supposed to feel this kind of soft.  Mud is all yucky and thick and not all pleasant to touch.  To me, anyway.  This was neither of those things but instead very smooth and delicate to the slightest touch.

I grabbed hold of whatever it was and lifted it up.  The stuff on the surface of my palm was snowy white and puffy-looking, similar to that of a cotton ball, with lumpy outlines.  Scrutinizing it furtherly, I noticed that it was...

'A piece of... cloud?'

Peculiar indeed.  It would be as if I'm implying that I'm sitting on a cloud.  A human, on a cloud made out of nothing but mist which that is water?  Why that's about as absurd as a child believing there's a pot of gold at an end of a rainbow.  How utterly ridiculous does that sound.  Not to mention impossible.

But in a magical world where there's talking pastel-colored ponies, griffons, dragons and every other fairy-tale creature anyone could think of, I'd be afraid to say that the impossibilities may become possibilities.  And sure enough, I leaned over to see that the lake was below me.  Way, way, way below me...

Acting nonchalantly, I added up the list, "So I'm sitting helplessly on a cloud, which is miles high off the ground, with no idea as to how I got up in the first place, and there's absolutely nobody around who can help get me down.  Aha-ha... ha.  Yeah..."

At times like this, even I amaze myself of how I could act so casual in these situations.  There are some times when one would of thought he'd know himself too-

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed out loud in sheer terror.  "Someone!  Anyone!  Help!"

And then poof popped a certain draconequus out of the blue, guffawing hysterically childishly.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho!" Discord laughed uproariously, holding his gut tight to prevent it from bursting out confetti like he did before when he turned me into a... pony. (which shall be the last time I'll mention it).

"D-D-Discord?!" I stuttered.  I couldn't look at the chortling trickster as I was too frightened by the distance between me and the ground.  "What's go-going on here?!  Next I was sleeping under the willow tree, and then I wake up sitting on a cloud!"

I continued peeking down, imagining the horror of what it'd be like to fall down from this level of height.  The mere thought only made me feel a lot worse.

Discord still was laughing himself to death (frankly it wouldn't surprise me).  "Now that's one for the papers.  Ahahaha!" he crowed.  "This may be my best prank yet!"

"Your best prank?" I asked quizzically.  In that moment there was a long silence, filled only by the whistling winds and the connecting of dots.  I raised up and sought the spirit's red pupils. "So this was all your doing?!"

The cloud shook slightly from the movement, and I cowered back down to my knees staring down at the ground again.

"I don't know," said Discord innocently, although him looking away to conceal his laughter made it quite obvious he was guilty.  He turned back around with a perky smile plastered on his face.  "Maybe."

"What on Earth possessed you to do this?!"

"Well," Discord began, stroking his unruly goatee, "promise you won't be mad, but I have been spectating you for some time.  I must say after all that's happened today that you looked like you were about to explode.  When I later followed you to the lake and saw that you fell asleep against the willow tree I pondered: 'Hmm, judging the trouble he's been through, perhaps as a good friend I'll give him something nice to sleep on'.  Now here you are.  Did you have a swell nap?"

Discord's explanation briefly left me kneeling in disbelief.  "So let me get this straight:  all this time you've been following me?  Why couldn't you have just saved me the trouble looking for you?!  And while I do appreciate the kindly gesture...  You don't place your friends a million feet in the air that can potentially kill them as a prank!  You know full bloody-well that I'm scared of heights!" I exclaimed.

"Really?" Discord questioned, pretending to act surprised.  "Huh, it must have slipped my mind," he shrugged dismissively, "oopsie."

The corners of my lips anchored to a deep, scowling frown.  "Oopsie?  Man, when I get my hands on you I'll-" I spat malicious incoherent threats at the spirit of chaos, arms quivering in rising rage.  "Forget it!  Can you just get me down!?

"Very well," Discord submitted.  "But first things first: How's the weather up here?"

Of all jokes, Discord, of all jokes...

I deadpanned with an unamused expression.  "Me.  Off this cloud.  Now."

"Are you sure?" he queried.

"Yes!" I bellowed, voice a little hoarse from hyperventilating in fear.  "I just want off of this thing!"

Discord lips stretched to a devious smile.  "As you wish," he obliged as he brought forth his lion paw, snapping his fingers.

There was the moment of silence again afterward.  Nothing seemed to have happened; I was still lofted on a cloud, wondering why I hadn't been teleported to the ground yet.

Discord snapped his fingers again and materialized a nail file before him.  He then began grinding away at his claws with the said object.  "You'll have to give it a moment.  The spell doesn't take an immediate effect once cast," he said.

I shot him a quick glare, bemused by that comment.  "What do you mean by-" all of a sudden I inexplicably fell through the cloud and began plummeting down toward the lake, "thaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Isn't it Deja Vu that a few days ago I had a dream of falling down from the sky?  Well, I was now.  Though this time instead of a lucid dream this was pure reality, which didn't comfort the fact that I'm falling to my inevitable demise.  If I ever become a ghost after this, I pledge a solemn swear on my own cobblestone grave that I'd haunt Discord until the end of time.

Losing altitude at a very alarming rate, I clasped both palms together in a pleading pose and silently prayed for a random miracle to happen.  But I guess the universe decided, 'No, sirree.  You've had this coming for a while.'  Couldn't say I didn't.  I knew that someday I'd get just payback for the sinful things I've done on Earth.

I closed my eyes in hopelessness, ready to answer the grim reaper whom stood outside my life's door knocking at it.  The bag of bones probably would ask what the cause of my death was.

The answer?  All because a dick of a draconequus pulled a (deadly) prank on me.

Chapter Fourteen

Log Ten - Chapter Nine - Part Two

The last thing I could remember for the life of me was when I fell from a number of stories high due to a mischievous prankster.  After that, I went and fainted.

What does being unconscious feel like?  Well, it's a distant memory, but I'll do my best to recall.

One could describe it much like how one is asleep.  It's peaceful, to put it blunt.  The whole world around me was nothing more than a blank subspace.  My mind was empty of worries, but filled with waters of clarity.  The encircling darkness welcomed me to its serenity, and I embraced the welcoming.  For the very first time, I felt very calm and, perhaps, happy; I had never been this relaxed since forever.  Beyond the vast, infinite blackness there was a white, divine light shimmering brightly across the groundless yonder.

This illumination had a holy aura attached to it, an aura so strangely compelling I dragged myself towards it with relative ease.

In this plane of unconsciousness, there was no law of physics or gravity; there wasn't any sound of footsteps as my body was literally light as a feather.  Soon half of the surrounding darkness was engulfed by the light, and for some inexplicable reason gravity began taking its claim the closer I approached.  After a few more steps the light entirely devoured the darkness, enveloping me to a brand new world of antique white.

Then the colorless expanse gradually dissipated, and this was the moment I realized I was coming to.

Starting off, I remembered everything was blissfully quiet, save for the sounds of mother nature's balmy breaths and the lenient rustling of leaves.  Thank God I wasn't sapped of the ability to hear or feel.  My brain attempted giving my limbs, and my eyelids, the command to budge.  Only to no avail, sadly.  However, the minute my mouth emitted a groan, my head registered the pleasing conclusion that I may had survived the fall.  Moreover, the luxuriantly-distinctive smell of grass invading my nostrils encouraged the assumption that I could have been very much alive.

    But there was an unsettling question left unanswered: why was it that I didn't feel any pain when I landed?  Going out on a limb here, I pondered on the possibility I could have had fallen into the lake.  Though that wouldn't make sense... because if I did, me and my clothes would've been soaked.

A viable thought instilled with anxiousness reverberated in the depths of my mind, 'please don't tell me where I think I am...'

With as much willpower as I could muster, I urged the nerves of my toes to wiggle.  Miraculously, the little toe was the first to twitch. The other toe beside it followed.  Then the next, and then the next, until every one of my toes were in sync.  Over time, my other foot's toes wiggled as well.  The lower part of my body, and eventually the upper section, were corresponding with positive movements; every appendage were wholly intact and accounted for.  The last thing I had to do was lift my eyelids so that I could investigate my whereabouts.

The effort to do so was struggling, but with sheer success I managed to lift my eyelids at a sluggish pace.

I winced when I was first introduced by the harsh rays of the sunlight.  I immediately shielded my eyes and rolled to the side, allowing them to recover in the safe shelter of my hands.  They regained their focus shortly afterward.  Lowering my hands, I got a clear close-up view of a teeny ladybug standing remotely still on an unblemished blade of grass.  It looked to be just your average ladybug: a dainty minuscule beetle with a smooth red body and black spots.  It's incredible how insects in Equestria were parallel to the ones on Earth.  Yet I never liked insects.  I always thought they were plain gross and revolting like spiders (my number one phobia, next to escalating heights).

Who wouldn't agree?  Spiders have eight hairy crawlers, wrap their prey in webbing and the ghastliest of it all is their eyes.  Six, eight, twelve.  No matter how many eyes they have, whether the spider be large or small, they're downright creepy.  God it makes me shudder thinking about it.

Butterflies, though, were actually my favorite among all the other bugs.  I don't know why, but how I see them is they're majestic, harmless, and quite beautiful above all else.  Of course their beauty can never top my adoring daughter; my dear Shy will always and forever be my little butterfly.

I was snapped out of my reminiscing when I examined the ladybug closer.  For whatever reason the thing had a familiar unruly goatee with crazy red pupils that were staring right back at me.

I was assured that wherever I was it wasn't heaven nor paradise, but instead... hell.

"Just what were you thinking, Discord?!"

"Calm down, Rick," replied the draconequus nonchalantly, who was perched onto one of the willow tree's thick branches on his back, both of his mismatched legs and serpentine-like tail dangling limply off a side.  "You act as if I had done something exceptionally horrid."

I stared at him in disbelief.  "You cannot be serious..."

"I never am serious.  Unlike somepony I know," Discord made no effort masking the sneer in his voice at that last sentence.  He quickly shifted about and was now lying on his stomach but his neck stayed as it were.

I brought a hand and facepalmed, groaning in exasperation.  "I'm actually being serious here, Discord!  I mean, have you seen what's been goin' on lately aka the erratic behavior of the clouds?" I pointed a finger at the direction of Ponyville where the checkered-pattern clouds were ominously looming over.

"Indeed I have," he answered, a touch too casual.

There was a short exchange of silence between the two of us; he was humming a tune within his own contentment while I stared at him incredulously.

"...and do you plan on doing something about it?" I asked.

Discord ceased his humming, his gaze never wavering.  "What was that?  Sorry but I think I have something in my ear."  The spirit knocked his noggin with a lion paw and out came a pink... fly-thingy?  Okay, I didn't know what the heck it was but it had wings of a fly.  The pink bug buzzed away as Discord materialized an ear trumpet and raised it to his left ear.  "You were saying?"

"I said: and do you plan on doing something about it?"

"Why are you asking me that for?" Discord inquired curiously.

"I don't know.  Maybe because those clouds have your name written all over them!"

My accusation snagged his attention.  He sat up with his back against me since his neck was still twisted at a hundred 'n' eighty degree angle.  "Why, Rick, I'm so flattered you would accuse me of such a thing."  The spirit's body rotated until his chest aimed at the same direction his face was.  "But I'm afraid to tell you that I had no part of it.  My hands are clean."

He showed the palms of his eagle talon and lion paw.  They were so clean they practically reflected the sunlight.

He lounged back onto the branch.  "And besides," Discord continued, "it's nothing the pegasi can't handle."

I lifted a finger and opened my mouth to retort, but the god of chaos did have a point.  I lowered my finger, only then to raise it back up.  "Well what about my dear Shy and the others?"

"What about them?"

"So you don't know?" I cocked a quizzed brow.  "Their cutie marks got switched; Rainbow Dash has my daughter's cutie mark, while my daughter has Pinkie Pie's cutie mark.  Everything has gone haywire!  From what I've been told nobody, even alicorns like Celestia herself, can't tamper a pony's cutie mark.  Twilight theorized something more powerful than an alicorn could be capable of such.  So, care to explain?"

I caught Discord's attention once more.  However he seemed to be more intrigued.  "Is that so?"  The spirit snapped his finger, vanishing and reappearing right beside me.  "We-he-he-ll.  In all the years of my immortal life, this surprises me.  I've been surprised before but this would be the first time I'm legitimately shocked.  The elements must be quite distraught.  Their cutie marks switched, having no idea what to do outside their element?  Why didn't I think of that earlier before?  I digress.  I must applaud the fellow for a job well done.  Jolly good show!"

"Wha?" I blinked, twice.  I rubbed my temples in aggravating confusion.  "Okay, I'm kind of confused here.  Are you telling me that you're not responsible for the unstable clouds and the cutie mark switch?"

Suddenly there were party blowers as I was showered with a cascade of yellow confetti.

"Ding!  Ding!  Ding!  We have a winner here, Johnny!" Discord chimed uproariously aloud.

Unfazed, I crossed my arms and glowered.  "Regardless," I began, "if you're not the one who started this whole mess, you still have the power to fix it."

"I do, don't I," Discord boastfully admitted.

"So why don't you do it?"

Discord rolled his eyes.  "Sorry if I rain on your parade, Rick," he said as he conjured a small rain cloud above me, yet not a sign of a single raindrop descended, "but I am forbid to do anything because Princess Celestia," he mockingly recited the name in a regal accent, "wishes me to lay low for today."

My glowering demeanor was wiped away and to be replaced with an inquisitive one.  "For what apparent reason?" I asked.

The spirit thrusted a lion's finger in front of my face, waving it back and forth like a metronome.  "Ah, ah, ah," he clicked his tongue, "that reason is only for me and her to know and for you to find out."

I curtly raised my arms in the air dismissively.  "Okay.  Fine.  But I'm still mad at you for what you did earlier.  I mean, did you have any idea how bad my heartrate was going?  Did you consider the fact my phobia of escalating heights could've wrought a heart attack?  Seriously.  My heart hammered against my chest so hard it felt like it was going to burst right out of it!"

Discord blatantly shrugged as a reciprocation.  "Oh I don't know about that.  I mean, it was out of fun, right?"

The minute Discord said that asinine comment, I shot him a glare as if my eyes were sharpened daggers.  A stare which nearly rivalled my daughter's.  Yes, my daughter once pulled out 'The Stare' (as she profoundly calls it) on me.  It was way back when I tried giving her animal crackers.  Admittedly saying if looks could kill, by george Fluttershy's could have easily done so.  I mean, damn.  Rainbow Dash's glare earlier had nothing on Fluttershy's.  Even as her father, I dreaded whenever she'd use that authoritative stare of hers again.

"Fun?  Fun?!" I repeated with an angry stomp.  "A prank is only funny when the prankster and the pranked laugh!  Do I look like I'm laughing?!"

"Well," Discord took a talon and groomed his goatee thoughtfully, "I guess I might have gone a little overboard."

"Overboard?!  More like you took it to the extreme!" I snapped.  "And what was with that stunt?  Making me fall from a bajillion feet high!  Teleporting would've sufficed enough without undergoing such a horrific experience!"

"Relax, Rick," Discord replied calmly.  "It wasn't as if I would voluntarily let you hit the ground.  What sort of monster do you take me for?"

"A mutant freak with a lion paw, an eagle talon for arms, a mane of a donkey, I think.  An antler of a deer and that one..." I briefly paused trying to decipher his other horn.  "I don't know what that other horn is."

"A blue goat horn," Discord said flatly.

"Whatever.  What I know is you have a head of a horse and a body of different animals. Where I originally come from, we would call that a monstrosity; an abomination."

Discord poofed up a plain-white handkerchief, padding it against his watery eyes which I presumed I hurted his feelings.  "Why..." he sniffed.  "Why that's some of the nicest things anyone has ever called me."

"For pete's sake!" I grumbled heatedly.  "That wasn't a complement- you- you know what, forget it," I huffed, and twirled around, my back now facing Discord.  I stuck my nose in the air pointedly.  "How did I even become friends with you in the first place?"

Discord teleported in front of me, his face inches from mine.  "Is it because of my good looks?" he snarkily queried, wiggling his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes.  "I highly doubt that'd be the reason," I scoffed as I again swiveled away from his goofy face.  "Plus, nobody in Ponyville would ever ask somebody such as you out," I added.

"Now you're just deliberately twying to hurt my widdle feewings," Discord spoke in a baby's voice.  Stubborn as he was, he reappeared before me in a bright flash.  He stood straightly upright how a british guard would stand outside his queen's castle.  He placed his lion arm behind his back and offered his eagle claw for a handshake.  This was highly unusual for Discord to behave so... normal.  It's kind of disturbing, actually.  "But I suppose I should indulge myself to say I sincerely apologize for performing such an act.  Why not we forget it ever happened and let bygones be bygones."

I stared at his claw, then his face, then back to the claw.  I stretched my lips to a forgiving smirk and grabbed his hand firmly in acceptance.  "Tch.  Sure, why not," I said, shaking my hand up and down twice.

I pulled my hand away, only to realize that I literally yanked his arm off of his body.

Both of Discord's cheeks started inflating like a puffed up pufferfish.

I cracked a wry smile and said, "Well that's disarming."

Chapter Fifteen

Log Eleven - Chapter Ten

For uncounted hours of the day, after we had arranged our settlement, Discord and I were chillaxing underneath the willow tree in front of the still waters of the lake, watching Celestia's sun slowly descend as half of it had already sunken below the distant horizon, glazing the sky a splendid glamour of autumn orange and dark magenta.

How an astonishing view such as this reminded me of home; the wondrous steep slopes stretched for miles on end, covered in a rich blanket of grass and daisies, the staggering collection of towering maple trees sprinkled around with the addition of the rising sun was always breathtaking to behold each and every morning.  Living in that house for several solitary years were the crowning moments of my life.  I relished every single minute of it.

A decent-paying job to fill the bills, a gnarly BMW vehicle for easy travelling, a wide plasma screen and fancy laptop; I had everything a single man could possibly ever ask for.  But things changed when Fluttershy came along.  When she stepped into the picture, she became my everything then.  When she left, all that I possessed became meaningless to me then.  For the sake of reuniting with my dear Shy, I had to give up the life, even the possessions I earned through hard work, I had on Earth to develop a new one in Equestria.

I never looked back since then.  Though oftentimes I'd wonder how Earth has been doing.  If I were somehow given an opportunity to go back to Earth, would I shy away that chance?  Having living in Equestria for a month would mean it has been thirty years on Earth.  Even if I did return my house and my belongings would likely be gone; I'd be homeless and limping around the streets scavenging scraps of fast food out of trash bins wearing nothing but torn garbage bags as a poor choice of clothing for a living.  So with that said, would I go back?  The answer is plainly obvious: Hell no.  And besides, the air in Equestria is so transparently clean that I would never dare go back to breathing toxic air.

Of course one would have to pardon the populace of ponies that behave hysterical around the alien human.  If I had to look on the bright side to this is I wouldn't have to worry about making too many friends.  One single man, his daughter, and a couple of friends.  That's as ideal as I can manage.

The story?  Ah.  Right.  My apologies for the pointless rambling.

There was me and Discord, a simple mortal and an immortal deity as buddies, reclined against the willow tree as we watched the sun bidding its farewell to us and this side of the world for the moon to take the spotlight in the sky.  Tracking back right after me and Discord formed our settlement, I had allowed myself to take an excursion through my mind about his "Celestia forbidding him to do anything today" and "only him and her to know and for me to find out" statement.  Discord reassured me everything would fix itself eventually.  Sure his reassurance drained the worries, but there was still a lingering puddle of curiosity about Celestia's vague intentions.

What was it she had to be secretive about?  What sort of plan was she concocting if she had to make Discord be secretive too?

Quite a mystery to untangle.  Perhaps the swapped cutie marks were-

I was then snapped out of my train of thoughts when Discord exhaled a dull yawn.

I swiveled my head to see the spirit nimbly spring to his feet.  He arched his back at an impossible, and rather painful-looking might I regrettably add, angle.  "Well this certainly has been an interesting day," he grunted as he bent his back further, meanwhile bending his knuckles with both hands to release a series of shuddering popping noises.  He returned standing straight and massaged his back.  "But I think it is time for me to bid you a humble farewell," said the draconequus with a quick bow.

I slowly got on to my knees and rose to my feet as well.  "From the looks of it I would say so," I weakly moaned as I stretched my arms to their fullest extent which made both my elbows yield a soft POP! sound.  "I'm still concerned for my dear Shy though..."

Walking in front of me, Discord extended an arm and perched a comforting lion's paw on my shoulder.  "As I told you before, Rick, this is nothing you should worry about," he said with a reassuring tone.  He whipped out a smirk.  "Shouldn't you be reminded this is the exact Fluttershy who stood up to a dragon.  The one Fluttershy who blazed through a ruthless swarm of shape-changing, love-sucking changlings.  And who was it that put a stop to Nightmare Moon's reign of terror?"

"Fluttershy," I answered quickly.

Discord nodded once.  "Right, and who was the pegasus that stopped a raging tornado?"

"Fluttershy," I answered quickly again, albeit louder.

"And who was it that reformed I," announced Discord, placing an eagle claw on his chest's center, "The Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony.  The God of Nonsensical Mischief.  The Witty and Dastardly Dashing Rogue."  I rolled my eyes but went along with it nonetheless.  Discord's brows narrowed.  He leaned closer until the tip of his nose was touching mine.  "Tell me, Rick Gartners.  Who?  Who?!" he repeated with emphasis as he shook me lightly.

There was a brief dramatic pause before I repeated the answer for the third and hopefully for the final time, "Fluttershy."

Discord gently pushed himself away.  "Right.  So there's nothing you should be concerned of.  I'll bet right now everything is back to normal," he said.  I raised an incredulous brow.  "Okay, maybe not as normal normal, but you get the picture," Discord quickly added.

I inclined my head to an affirmative nod.  "I get it," I said.

"Good," Discord confirmed with another satisfied smirk, crossing his mismatched arms.

Before Discord snapped his fingers, I raised a hand to interrupt.  "Oh, and Discord."

The spirit halted his movement and stared at me attentively.  "Hm?" he hummed.

I sort of stood around in silence, my mind having an apology prepared yet my mouth refused to let it out.  Why do men have to make it such a chore to say their sorry?

I idly scratched the back of my head, gathering the nerve to speak while kicking the dirt.  "Y'see.  Well.  I..."  Damn it, Rick.  Just spit it out already.  It's two simple words.  "I have something to tell you-" I was abruptly silenced when Discord planted an eagle talon over my lips.

"No need to say any more, Rick," he said knowingly, reeling his talon back.  "I completely forgive you.  Sometimes we let loose our wild emotions out of our cages."  He summoned a bird cage, and, I kid not, letters 'N', 'A', 'E', 'R', 'G' which my brain automatically spelt them out as 'Anger' with avian wings fluttered frantically about inside.  "Should we do so, we abandon all sense of rationality."  He lifted the pin locking the cage's door, freeing the frenzied letters.

The first thing they did with their newfound freedom was hurl themselves at me at the velocity of a speeding bullet.  On instinct I crossed my arms in front of my face to block the oncoming attack.

A loud sound of fingers snapping was heard beforehand.  After some seconds, nothing happened to me.  I peeked through the slit between my arms and saw that the aggressive letters were back in their metallic prison.  With another snap of a finger, the cage turned -- along with the letters -- into mere grains of beach sand.  A calm wind blew and carried a milky way of sand toward the yonder.

"As such we tend to hurt those close to us.  While we never mean to, what's done has been done; it'll leave a permanent scar that'll haunt you for the rest of your days," said Discord sagely with a somber demeanor.

I was standing here speechless at Discord's profound display of wisdom.  Another side of him I never thought I'd get to see.  I couldn't help but feel a tad sympathetic at his last sentence.

I wittingly shook myself out of my awestruck state.  "Well, I'm still sorry," and finally I spoke.  "I shouldn't have been so reckless with my accusations without evidence or proof."

Discord waved a dismissive hand.  "It's all water under the bridge.  Besides, I already forgave you."  The deity again lifted up his hand, but suddenly froze.  "Oh, I almost forgot," he said as he dove an eagle talon into his pockets that was his skin.

It's at this point I'd given up questioning Discord's illogicalness and went with the flow.  The draconequus spent a whole minute digging profusely through his pockets, his expression being that of slight annoyance.

"Now where did I put that thing?" Discord grumbled in irritation, still unable to find what he was deliberately searching for for another wasted minute.  He stopped to give himself a soft slap to the forehead with his lion paw.  "Of course!  How silly of me."  He quickly pulled his eagle talon out of a pocket and plunged it into his left nostril.

I would say if he weren't doing this just out of cartoon humor I would have sprayed my yesterday's lunch all over the ground.

Plucked out of his nose, which surprisingly but thankfully wasn't coated in mucus, was my revolver Silver.  "I believe you dropped this while you were, well," Discord then coughed, "out of commission."  Pinched between a finger and thumb, he dangled the six-shooter by the barrel.

My eyes widened.  I reached two hands to pad the backside of my pants to guarantee what he had wasn't just a makeshift copy of the real deal.  No lump, no nothing.  The revolver Discord had was genuinely Silver.

With a snap, the weapon took flight on its own and levitated in the air.  "I thought it was best I'd hold onto it until your temper would simmer down."  The revolver leisurely floated towards me.

I grabbed the handle with uttermost care and inspected it thoroughly; I flicked my wrist to swing the cylinder out, seeing all chambers loaded with rounds.  I went on inspecting the hammer.  I pulled the hammer back and prompted a firm squeeze on the trigger.  The hammer gave a loud, functional click.  I skated a finger delicately across the barrel to check for any feel of dents.  The harsh, cold steel bit the sensitive nerves of my skin, but vividly smooth nonetheless.  I flicked the cylinder back in and spun the chamber.

Amply pleased with the results, I holstered the revolver into the back of my pants.  "Smart thinking," I remarked fairly.  Not paying attention to the time that's passed, I noticed that it was getting rather dark.  Being that it was a night of a full moon, it was bright enough to illuminate the ground.  "I wonder if everything is back to the way it was," I mused aloud.

"Still mulling over that, huh?  Well why don't you go and find out?" quizzed Discord deviously.  It was dark, but I was certain that I saw a sly smile crested on his face.  Without giving me a chance to react, the spirit clicked his fingers.  My vision was recently re-acquainted with a bright flash of white.

Chapter Sixteen

Log Twelve - Chapter Eleven

If there's one thing Discord loved to do, it's pulling surprises.  The moment I heard those last words, 'Well why don't you go and find out?', and noticed that mischievous smile of his, I suspected he was gonna pull a fast one on me.  That's Discord for ya, though.

I'll be completely honest here - elucidating the intricacies on how teleportation works is far beyond my own extent of knowledge and comprehension.  So I'll just skim to the matters at hand.

The featureless whiteness shrouding every corner of my vision was periodically fading away.  I repeatedly blinked as means to hasten the dissipation, although it was useless since it had no sign of effect.  I waited another minute until I recovered enough sight to notice a wooden wall before me.  Everything was still gray, but the color soon returned to me as I was able to distinguish the colors of the wooden wall.

Peach pink.  That's all there was on this smooth, wooden wall.   I whirled around to see several rows of bookshelves, each shelf crammed to the brim with organized books that varied in colors and bulging sizes, thus evoking the indication that this was without doubt a library.  Correction - The Golden Oak Library, evidently known as Twilight's humble tree home.  I could easily tell because I've been here before and by surveying my surroundings; likewise there's the two pedestals opposite from one another to lay books atop of.  There's the stairs with three pink hearts -- a tad girly for my taste if you ask me -- engraved on the risers which I'd presumed they lead up towards Twilight's bedroom on the second floor.  I've heard there's a basement, but never had I been down there yet.  And let's not forget the perfectly round table centred at the ground floor with a morbidly-disturbing wooden pony head figure standing atop of it.

I then looked up pointedly and lo and behold there's a gigantic sun symbol plastered on the ceiling, a symbol that echoed Celestia's cutie mark.  That, was actually new to me.  Was it always there before or...?  Well, I decided this wasn't the appropriate time to dawdle around asking myself pointless questions when I should be wondering where Twilight and Spike went seeing as the whole ground floor was barren of its occupants, except for an owl who had just woken up from my out-of-nowhere intrusion.

Ah yes.  Twilight's pet.  What was the owl's name?  I couldn't think on the top of my head.  Owlicious?  Owloysius?  Well, I guessed it really didn't matter.  Far as I was aware, the owl is sentient enough to understand english language, so I sauntered over to the nocturnal creature as to show I wasn't nervous or unfriendly.

"Oh hey, Owloysius," I greeted calmly, uncertain if I pronounced the name correctly.

"Who," hooted the owl sitting on its tall perch, eyes levelled with mine.

I cocked a brow.  "What do you mean who?  I'm referring to you, Owloysius."

"Who," Owloysius repeated.

"You," I said, pointing at the bird matter-of-factly.

"Who."

"You," I said with a sagging frown.

"Who," the owl repeated for the fourth time.

I facepalmed irritably.  "For the last time y-" I quickly paused and took a smack of realization to the face.  "Ah, right.  You're an owl.  Forgot that's the only thing you creatures can say."  I lightly chuckled, awkwardly embarrassed how foolish I had made myself look.  Luckily there wasn't anyone else around to witness the entire scene.  "Promise you won't mention this to anyone?" I asked.

"Who." Owloysius replied.

"Good girl," I acknowledged with a satisfied grin and received a confused frown in return.

Suddenly, intense rays of blinding light from outside spontaneously beamed through all the windows, showering the ground with sparkling illumination .  I shaded myself temporarily until it died down seconds after.

That was... short-lived, I thought as I approached the front door.

"Twilight... is that you?" I heard someone's voice from beyond the door.  It was muffled, but I could determine whose voice that belonged to.  A myriad of gasps followed afterwards.

Gently prodding the wooden gate slightly forward, ensuring the hinges don't creak but enough to get a clean view, I peeked through the crack.  Outside under the silverish glow were six ponies and a baby dragon.  There's Applejack, the orange pony with the stetson cowboy hat.  The pink, poofy-maned pony was obviously Pinkie Pie.  Rainbow Dash, known for her cyan fur and exclusive rainbow-colored mane and tail.  The pearly-white unicorn was Rarity given she'd be the only one to have her purple mane and tail meticulously styled.

And there was my sunshine and happiness; my little butterfly, Fluttershy.

Oh and Twilight Sparkle.

The purple unicorn steadily stood up on fours and wings majestically burst forth, proudly stretching to their fullest extent for flair.

Awe-inspiring to say the least but-

Hold the phone!  Wings?  Twilight didn't have wings to begin with.  She was a plain, wingless unicorn.  She now had both wings and a horn.  When did this happen?  If this means what I think this means then...  Oh snap.  Slack-jawed, I quickly readjusted my composure and watched by as the five ponies and dragon marveled at their friend's new transformation.

Applejack trotted near Twilight, bringing a hoof close to her own jaw.  "Ah...  Ah never seen anything like it," she said.

"I've never seen anything like it either," I seconded aloud.

Each of the ponies and the baby dragon directed their attention toward my whereabouts.

Their eyes widened.  "Rick?!" they blurted out in unison and in shock upon my appearance.  All except Fluttershy, whom continued staring at me, dumbfounded.

I stood in front of Twilight's house, waving a hand and itching the back of my neck with the other.  "Uh... hi," I said.  "Hope I haven't interrupted anything important but I thought I'd-"

Abruptly, Fluttershy bolted past her friends in a blur and lunged at me so hard I fell to the ground.  I wheezed when her hooves wrapped themselves around my stomach in a vice grip as she dug her face deep into my chest.  I could hear her sobbing as she rubbed her face further into me.  Stretching a fatherly smile, I returned the embrace with a warm hug of my own, content that everything was back to the way things were.

The ceremonial embrace was interrupted when the newly promoted alicorn spoke up, "Rick?  When...  Where...  How did you get here?" she asked confusedly.

"Magic," I snorted wryly.

Chapter Seventeen

Extra Log #5

Once again here I was sitting quietly inside my daughter's cottage, in front of the brown desk table, lit candlestick to my left and ink bottle to my right, writing down a log of today's anomalous experience in the middle of the silent night - serenity and bliss which I'm always overly fond of.  Quill squeezed firmly between my thumb and index finger, I quickly hovered the instrument over the ink bottle for a small dip and back to finish off a sentence with a solid-black period poked at the end.  I let out a silent, tired yawn and scanned over the page for any errors or misspellings.  Not one misspelling or flaw to be traced.  Superb.

It was certainly one short adventure to remember, and hopefully my last.  It's like I said, I very much preferred living the simple and tranquil lifestyle.  But an unsettling sense was nagging me that there's more to come, no matter how much I resent the obnoxious feeling.  Fluttershy though, I swear, is just the sweetest little angel.  Turned out that her not acknowledging me as her father was the silly reason she was crying back at Twilight's tree house.  Oh how she begged me to forgive her.  It was the darndest thing ever.  I told her it was never her fault to begin with.  Though I later found out that it was Twilight's; she explained the situation which involved some sort of spell a wise old unicorn named Star the Swirly Bearded or whatever never finished, and when she tried solving it, she miscalculated to which entailed the cutie mark switch.  But then I actually found out that it was Celestia who assigned Twilight with the task.

So if there was anybody to blame, it'd be Celestia.  Why?  Because I had to get out of bed early, meander around town and get lost in the process, meanwhile searching for a draconequus whom had nothing to do with the whole mess only for naught.  Zip.  Nada.  A whole day wasted on a wild goose chase.  Someday.  Someday, I'll get back at Celestia.  It's the matter of convenience.  Today was inconvenient, given my daughter and her friends were right there.  Speaking of which, yeah, the celestial mare arrived during the same night after Twilight became an alicorn.  I took this opportune moment to ask about the house permit and, get this, Celestia literally said in three days I am to attend a court meeting with her for the signature papers of home ownership.  Unfortunately, that's only half the reason why I'd be going there...  Somebody must have informed someone about me smashing a hole through Sugarcube Corner's wall, so Celestia added that I'd be attending court for paying the damage fee of twenty bits.

Fluttershy, as usual, insisted she'd cover the charges, but I swore an oath that I'd look for a job.  I'll house keep.  I'll scrub windows.  Heck, I'll even clean up pet crap, just so I can repay her.

Anything else?  Hmm...  Ah!  What with Twilight's ascension, she was hereby declared a legitimate princess hence tomorrow's her coronation day.  Was I cordially invited to be part of it?  Evidently... by Twilight no less.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the thought, but I didn't exactly DO anything to partake in the ceremony.  If it had to do with me taking care of Fluttershy on Earth, then I could see it as a plausible reason.  But what really hooked me in was the buffet Twilight promised.  Quality food prepared for royalty?  Awesome.  I didn't care if I was going to get scrutinized by wary glares; there was no way I'd turn down free food.

Since I had three days to wait for the house permit, I'm going with my dear Shy the day after tomorrow to the market valley in Ponyville to restock on animal supplies due to the reserve stock running low.  I think we all know who was to blame for that...  So it'd be about time Fluttershy and I get to spend some quality time together as human father and pony daughter.  I mean, me at the market valley, carrying all the stuff while my dear Shy talks about her habits and hobbies she likes on a perfectly (non-threatening) normal day.  That's a sobering thought for sure.

My ears caught the creaking, eerie sound of the wooden floor to the right.  I grabbed hold of the candlestick over to the direction.  The figure responsible for the noise stepped into the light.  It was Fluttershy.  Her pink tresses was an absolute tangled mess, a few strands were out of place, and so was her tail.

Her face scrunched from the candle's flickering flare.

"Dad..." said Fluttershy, her voice and tone dry from tiredness as she rubbed the bags underneath her eyes with a foreleg.

I closed the journal and pushed the chair away from the desk, shifting myself directly toward her.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" I whispered.

"I can't sleep.  Do you mind if I..." her words trailed off as she softly fidgeted the floor with her hooves.

"Of course," I answered knowingly with a soft smile.  This occasionally happens whenever she has a nightmare.  She then won't go back to sleep and would ask of me to lay beside her until she does.  It's... a bit complicated.  I don't know what it is, but she feels a lot more safer sleeping whenever I'm around.  You could say I'm her personal teddy bear...  I'm going to need to talk with her about this at some point.

With a free arm I hoisted Fluttershy up and started taking her up the stairs.  "Oohh," I huffed under the surprising strain of her weight.  "No more cupcakes for you young miss."

"Mmm," Fluttershy lazily murmured in response, as if she barely heard what I said.

Finally we reached the top, and thankful am I that Fluttershy left her door wide open.  Half-asleep in my arm, I hobbled toward her bed.  Her yellow coat and pink mane vibrantly glowed from the rays of the silver moonlight slitting past the cottage's window above her bed's headboard.

And so I tucked ourselves in underneath the cozy comforters and sheets, my legs poking out of the foot of the bed due to its dwarfish size.  Fluttershy contently sighed as she snuggled herself closer to me, a heartwarming smile plastered on her features.  I planted a soft peck on her forehead before I, too, drifted into slumber.

Chapter Nineteen

Log Fourteen - Chapter Thirteen

"So what do you want to explain beforehand?" I inquired.  I stood before a lavender alicorn whose legs wouldn't stop shaking out of inexplicable anxiety, tapping a foot patiently waiting for her response.

"Ah, yes.  Indeed I do have a couple things to say," Twilight answered bashfully.  Her trembling knees straightened out as she breathed in and breathed out.  She then started kicking the dirt softly, creating miniature clouds of dust as she did so.  Twilight then turned away from me, mumbling things to herself that were inaudible to hear.

Arms still folded, I observed everything around us until Twilight gets the guts to say something else.  The summer morning sun was out, touching all of Equestria with its compassionate rays -- hot and humid.  The blue majesty that is the sky was completely barren of clouds, as it should be from the weather schedule Fluttershy had given me the day I moved in to her cottage.

I directed my attention past Twilight to Angel who was mingling with another rabbit identical to him, although it had eyelashes.  Gotta love how cartoons differentiate genders by particular appearances.  Apparently the floppy-eared fella was trying to flirt the girl by flexing his scrawny, tiny furry arms, which, by the way, wasn't impressing her one bit.  The girl rabbit shunned the poor guy and scurried off to somewhere else.  Talk about getting rejected...  Ouch.  No worries, Angel.  You'll find a lucky gal eventually.

I returned my attention to Twilight who happened to be facing me again.  Her cheeks, again, were flushing in pink.  But her demeanor was that of determination.  I was sure of it by those slightly narrowed eyes of hers.

"Rick," said Twilight, pronouncing my first name confidently.  "I want you to know that Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and I are eternally grateful for what you did for Fluttershy on Earth.  It means so much to every one of us to have our friend back.  Becoming princess wouldn't have been possible without her."

"No sweat," I replied.  "Though I don't think I should be given all credit.  I might be a jerkwad, but even jerkwads have their standards.  Raising Fluttershy was the most eventful experience I've ever had."  I tried on a wistful smile.

"So you're not really mad about what me and the prince- I mean Celestia, had to do?"

"Well..."  I scratched the back of my head agitatedly.  "I was rather mad at you and your teacher for taking her away.  But I learned not to hold a grudge against that.  She had to return home."  I craned my neck to stare up into the sky.  "And I could imagine how awful you must have felt...  I mean, this wasn't the first time this kind of incident happened, right?  Imagining having to take away your father's daughter twice.  It must have been torture for you."

"I know," Twilight confirmed sadly, both her pointy ears folding against her head.  "Believe me, Rick, when I say that it's never easy doing the right things; even Celestia had to banish her own one and only sister to the moon, because she thought it was the only viable option."

"I'm aware of that tragedy between Celestia and Luna."

"Anyway, we're deviating the main subject here.  I want to go over a few things before we proceed on to other matters."

"Ask away."  I prompted her with a wave of a hand.

"Alright."  Twilight nodded.  "So first things first is your attire.  You're not going to go to Canterlot dressed in that, are you?"

I took a self-inspection, and realized I was still standing around in my flannel pajamas.  "I've got a lovely black pair of suit and pants in my suitcase.  They should do just fine," I said.

"Good!"  Twilight chimed.  "Another thing: make sure you smell nice because, no offence, you're giving off a rather unpleasing odor..."  muffled Twilight with a hoof held over her muzzle.

Cocking a brow, I raised an arm and took a quick whiff of my armpit.  Wowee!  With an odor such as this I might very well be Pepe Le Pew.  Hey, it wasn't like I intentionally skip baths.  When one lives inside a cottage filled with filthy wild animals one wouldn't be able to smell his own damn fart.  "Yeah...  Bathing will be my number one priority."  I winced from taking another whiff.

Twilight suppressed a giggle at that.  "Finally, and most importantly, I'd like to ask you if you could..." she tapped her forehooves together "behave yourself?"

"Behave myself?" I parroted quizzically.  "Could you maybe enlighten me what I should do at Canterlot?"

"Certainly."  Twilight nodded.  "Perhaps what you could do is tell about yourself.  Like you could say what your hobbies are.  For example: my hobbies are reading books.  Simple as that."

"Ah, I see.  So basically I say 'what I do for a living' or 'what my favorite food is'.  I could probably talk about my world's music and stuff."

"Perfect!"  Twilight cheerfully grinned.  "Now all there is to do is... well."  The lavender alicorn trailed off, the pinkness on her cheeks were furiously redder than before.  "You see, well, um.  The thing is, Rick, I..."  She gently bit her lower lip anxiously, brushing a right foreleg with her left.

I peered down at her, confused as to why she was acting unusual so suddenly.  "If it has to do with that tour, I-"

Out of nowhere the alicorn exclaimed, "Oh, no, no!  That's not it at all!  How can I put this?  Rick, did your heart ever want to ask something, but your head is too afraid of what the answer might be?"

"What?" I dumbly replied.  "Enough questions, why not you just tell me up front?"

No verbal reply, but Twilight beckoned me to lower an ear to her, so I did.  Her mouth close to where I could feel the exhaustion of her warm breath, she whispered a few things (omitting for the sole reason that I could have misheard) and I just blatantly blinked.  "Err, I'm sorry, could you run by that to me again?" I asked.  She whispered into my ear once more, and then retreated a few steps, allowing the words to sink into my head.  Thus came the reaction, "You what?!?!"

Chapter Twenty

Log Fifteen - Chapter Fourteen

"...you what?" I asked bluntly.

The alicorn mare fidgeted her hooves sheepishly, looking down at the ground with cheeks as crimson as a blooming rose.  "I said I love you."

There have been times when I was shocked beyond understanding.  Twilight coming out like this definitely caught me off-guard.  I wasn't exactly certain how else I could react other than be perplexed by this revelation.  "I- I-  I-," I stammered, still unable to fully tackle the situation.  "I mean, when did this happen?  How long have you been keeping this a secret for?"

"The first week of the first month since your arrival here in Equestria," answered Twilight.  She perked up, staring me straight with those violet, glassy eyes of hers.  "And, well, after that I just didn't have the courage until now."

"Yes, but when when?  Like, when did you start having these... "feelings"?"

"The seventh day, precisely one week, when you came over to borrow a book to read - the one book you returned two days ago.  It was your very first visit to my home.  There you met Spike, and I'm not quite sure you remember Owlowiscious, but you met him too."

While Twilight was babbling onward, I pondered, 'Oh, Owlowiscious is how it's pronounced.  That'll be noted.  Wait...  It's a he?!  Crap, that certainly faults the 'females with eyelashes' hypothesis...  But given Twilight's explanation, I still don't know how I made this happen, nor can I recount the moment.'

"Sounds like you got yourself in a bind," my brain said, observingly.

Oh good, you're here!  Maybe you can help me with this.

"Now you need my help?"  My brain bitterly scoffed.  "No way. Not after you neglected me."

I need you for real this time.  I'm sorry about before.  Please, man.

"Well alright.  Only because you said please.  So, you want to know, hm?  First let me ask you: are you positive that you can't remember anything you have done or said that entailed this?"

"Mmm...  Not really."

My brain groaned in exasperation.  "Goodness gracious.  You can't be this freakin' dense.  Fine.  I'll help you step by step; you know back when you borrowed a book from her?  Did you notice anything slightly different about her appearance?  Maybe her tresses?"

Now that you mention it.  Yeah, I think I do remember.  She had her lock all tied up into a bun, like one of them female secretaries or psychologists I've seen on Earth.

"Good.  Now, was there anything you said regarding her hair?"

I deeply pondered it for a split-second.  I suppose I called her pretty because of it.  Why?  What's that got to do with this?

"Oh boy.  I now see how you've gotten into this mess.  Rick, Twilight is -- how I would state it -- a nerd.  She tends to stay indoors most of the day reading books.  Have you ever wondered why she doesn't have a boyfrie- er, coltfriend?"

Can't say that I do, I honestly replied.

"She's.  A.  Nerd.  Think, Rick, think.  Do you often see nerds in a relationship?"

Not many.

"Precisely.  The fact she's a nerd clearly means she doesn't get out much, and that also means she doesn't see boys too often.  All her friends are bleedin' mares, for pete's sake.  Do you see any stallions or know ones she knows besides her brother?"

No.  But I always thought she's a...  I hesitated finishing the sentence.

"Of course not!  I mean, I don't know that, but neither do you.  Yet her signs perfectly state otherwise."

What signs?

"For the love of all that is holy—" my brain grumbled "—you really need to start using me at a regular basis.  Here's the list: allowing you to borrow a book for over two weeks.  She normally wouldn't let it go for that very long.  Offering tea and inviting you inside her home late at night — in a seductive way that you were too clueless to notice, might I firmly add.  And she gladly, and enthusiastically, agreed to be your tour guide."

And? I queried.

"And the fact that she's been a lonely nerd for who-knows-how-long; those of her status are probably the desperate kind.  Telling a woman such as her 'she's pretty' can lead to huge misunderstandings."

Oh?  After some seconds, the gears in my head started to rotate. Oohhhh...

"So you finally got it?"

Yup.

"Um, Rick?"  Twilight poked at my stomach gently.  "You okay?"

I shook my head to snap out of my stupor.  "Wha?"

She glanced at me concernedly.  "You were sort of standing there like a plain statue.  Have you been listening to every word I said?"  Twilight asked.

"Oh yes, yes.  Most certainly!" I lied, inclining my head to an affirming nod.

"So...?  What's your answer?"  Twilight asked anxiously.  Her eyes were gleaming with great anticipation.

"My a-answer?  Well, I-" I froze in mid-sentence, sweating due to pressure-building anxiety.  How was I going to come out straight without sounding too harsh?  I mean, I've only been in a relationship once, of course the only reason that being was because me and this chick (whose name eludes me at this moment) were so smashed that we tatooed each other (can't quite remember where it is).  Biggest mistake of my life.  And I had to deal with this, albeit more serious.  I scratched the back of my neck, trying to conceive a valid excuse.  An idea then sprung up.  "Twilight," I began with a soft tone, "earlier when you asked that question: 'did your heart ever want to ask something, but your head was too afraid of what the answer might be?', I have an answer for that."

Her expression, once exhilarated, slowly dwindled to that of complete nervousness.  "Yes?"

Oh sweet Jesus, that doleful look of hers is unbearable...  I cringed.  "You see...  Sometimes it's best not to ask those questions."  Twilight's ears slowly drooped.  Man I am terrible for doing this.  "Sometimes we should cherish what we already have.  Like a very special friendship, let's say like the one you and I share that someone like me wouldn't change for anything in the world."

Utter silence then hung in the air, except for the resonating chirping of birds in the sky and croaking of frogs in the pond.  I tried acting calm and careful with my response.  Unfortunately, Twilight's ears drooped even further.

"So...  You actually...?"  Twilight's discouraged tone was cringe-inducing.  I REALLY am feeling awful now all of a sudden.

I held my hands up defensively.  "Please don't take it the wrong way.  When I said you were pretty, I meant it as a compliment.  I didn't know you mistook it as me flirting you."  Ah shit.  Probably shouldn't have said it that way.

"So you think I'm not pretty?"  Twilight depressingly sniffled.  God, I might as well have smashed her heart into pieces with a hammer, because that's what it appears to be what I'd done.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa.  I didn't say you weren't pretty," I said.  "Err, look, I'm not one that chooses the best words, let alone come up with good excuses.  It's just that this is all too sudden.  Too fast.  I've only been here for a month; I have plans here and there, and getting into a relationship would be the last thing I'd be concerned of."  I knelt down and rested a right hand over her right shoulder.  We both made direct eye contact.  Deep in her eyes, I saw that she was hurt - her heart shattered, as expected.  "And even if I have done everything, I just don't know how I would feel dating a pony.  Back in my world, that..." I paused trying to find more appropriate words. "Would be tantamount to jail time in a sense.  Human prejudice, you could call it.  But..."

"But what?" said Twilight.

I momentarily averted my gaze from hers.  "I... guess I really don't know, to be honest."

"Then what is it?" Twilight questioned heatedly.

I know when I said I wouldn't get myself stuck in a relationship with anyone on Equestria.  My heart, on the other hand, was telling me something different - it thrived on something, screaming to me.  What was it that I'm currently feeling?  It's... alien, foreign even.  It feels like love.  Though not quite?  No.  No, this was entirely new; this isn't the kind of love between me and Fluttershy.  This was indescribable.  Though that'd be totally an understatement.  I knew what it was, yet I chose to deny it.  But it was a fruitless effort.  Of all things, why was it her my heart had chosen?

I placed another hand over her other shoulder, and gazed up to meet her eyes again.  Odd.  Once I have a closer view, she... actually did look pretty.  Pretty?  More like beautiful.  Gorgeously beautiful.  I leaned in further, my nose near her muzzle.  I had no self-control of my body pretty much at this point - I then came to understand that this was a force I couldn't overcome.  I was diving in closer, our lips almost coming to contact.  A part of my brain was telling me to stop whatever I'm doing because it's wrong, but at the same time every emotional instinct told me to do it, because at the same time everything about this moment feels so right.  Even if I wanted to speak, this strange force had rendered me speechless.

Twilight was also overwhelmed by this sensation as she closed her eyes just as I did mine.  Finally our lips locked in a warm embrace, with my arms hanging loosely around her neck.

Chapter Twenty-One

Log Sixteen - Chapter Fifteen

So...  Before we carry onward, no doubt there's several questions regarding the end of my previous log.  I could just speculate them: what was it like, or, how does it feel?  Those sort of things.  I'll oblige answering with as much detail as I could muster.

Was it my first kiss?  It's embarrassing, really; indeed this is, in fact, the very first time I've given a kiss or have been kissed.  A genuine kiss - not the kind you'd get from your mother, grandma, great grandma, aunt, etcetera.  In this particular circumstance it's known as a romantic kiss.  Anyways, yeah, kind of embarrassing to share that piece of info.

Which follows up to this: what was kissing a pony like?  Well, it was quite a... unique experience.  Let's simply put it that way.  I mean, of course it's a very weird experience, though that could be because it was my first time.  When I thought it'd be compared to kissing a pony on Earth, I couldn't be any farther speaking from the truth.  Surprisingly, a pony's lips are soft and...  I don't know the other word to use here but you can bet that it may be comparable to that of kissing a woman's.  My only advice is watch for the muzzle.

And I'm sure this is common of a question: what did I think about all of this?  It's difficult to convey; I would never have thought anybody in Equestria, let alone Twilight Sparkle, had a crush on me.  And my brain left the building the minute some "spell" shrouded over me.  I considered spell because I haven't a clue of what to specifically name it.  But the minute that happened, I was stripped of my ability to talk or think.  The only lingering thoughts I had were how beautiful Twilight was.  Nothing else.  Though now that I think about it, I'm gradually growing aware of what to pronounce the 'spell' as.  Still, it doesn't provide a plausible explanation that why it was Twilight my fate had chosen.

Fate's a mysterious bitch.  That she is.

Everything around us stood still, almost like time itself had been paused, as we kissed.  Twilight had her forelegs wrapped around my neck, pulling my head closer, pressing our lips together slightly harder.  They were remarkably soft as a plush pillow, I would say.  It felt like the moment we kissed our souls started dancing the tango in an elegant fashion.  At least that's how I pictured it.

Our lips slowly part themselves away.  I opened my eyes and looked deep into Twilight's half-lidded eyes.  "So how was it?" I asked.

"It was... wonderful," Twilight replied warmly, fluttering her eyes.  "But what about the whole human prejudices you were talking about?" She teasingly reminded with a soft smile.

I cracked an amused smirk.  "Perhaps I said that because I was nervous.  I guess it no longer matters now.  It stills feels a bit odd.  In a good way, I mean."

"I take it you've never kissed anypony before?"

"You happen to be my very first."

"And hopefully the last," said Twilight.  "I can't imagine a perfect day than this."

We release our hold from one another.  "Heh.  Yeah.  I suppose now things are going to be different between you and I, huh?"

Twilight approached me with a forwarding step, peering up at me alluringly.  "Indeed so.  We're more than just friends now."  She winked.

"As if seconds ago that couldn't have been obvious."  I placed both hands on my hip.  "Be honest with me, though.  Surely calling you pretty alone shouldn't be the sole purpose?"

There was a brief, contemplative pause.  "Well," Twilight lightly blushed, "I always did think you were...  I don't know...  Handsome."  She admitted.  "But there's more to it than just your looks.  Like yesterday when I cast a half-finished spell that Starswirl the Bearded created and turned everything upside down, you went out of your way and disregarded any concern for your own safety from the dangerous weather to look for me.  As Fluttershy's most closest friends, you prioritize our well being just as much as her's.  That there is one of the reasons I like you, Rick."

"Oh come on now, you're making me blush," I said, scratching the back of my head with a goofy grin.  "Only some of those things you said are partially true."

Twilight gave me a friendly nudge to my right thigh.  "Don't sell yourself short, Rick.  I mean it when I say it."  The alicorn's smile stretched further, her excitement as evident as ever.  "Finally!  I feel as if a pair of weights were lifted off my shoulders.  Figuratively speaking, of course."

Faintly, but growing, cheery music started to play.  Oh no...  As I recalled the research on the show on the wikipedia, there were musicals, or formally known as...

The Magic of Music.

This would be the very first time I get to partake in one, but I dread to sing.  Truth be told I'm a terrible singer.  There's no point hiding or denying that fact.  Last time I tried to sing, I swear if I were in a list of singers with Justin Bieber in it, I'd be below him by a couple numbers.  And the worst part would be is that he's second to last.  I know, I know...  I'm that awful.

The feeling was swelling in the upper-left part of my chest, pushing its way up to my throat as the background music plays louder and louder.

I don't know how the cartoons do it, but I did my best to look at the audience -- wherever they may be -- and shot them a deadpan stare before my lips began quivering.

'Well... shit.'

Chapter Twenty-Two

Log Seventeen - Chapter Sixteen

After the whole uneventful fiasco, Twilight and I were casually heading back into Fluttershy's cottage.  Actually I was more languid in my pace than Twilight—who was still humming the tune to herself—and seemed a bit disgruntled that I had hand over my face to mask the sheer embarrassment from involuntarily contributing my gritty, sandpaper-esque voice to the mare's merry song.

"I cannot believe I was pulled into that..."  I grumbled indignantly.

Twilight kept herself at side with the same snails-pace, ceasing her humming for the time being. "Aw, come on, Rick!  It wasn't all that bad."  She assured.

"I told you that I wasn't the singing type more than I would normally care to."  I did. Really, I did. It was during the short break in the song.  "Thank God it was short," I muttered, "otherwise I would've knocked myself silly until I'd pass out."

We halted inches before Fluttershy's cottage door.  "There's no need to be pessimistic about it," said Twilight.  "I thought it was... nice."  I couldn't help but notice she hesitated on that last word.

I pointed a finger down at her, shouting,  "Aha!  So even you think it's bad!"

"No I don't!" Twilight exclaimed back.

"Oh really?"  I quizzed with a skeptical tone.

"Yes, really."

"I don't believe that," I said.

"How so?"

"Because when we were somehow from the cottage to Ponyville in a matter of seconds, all the ponies in town had those disgusted looks on their faces every time I sang my verses.  I think I even saw one vomiting in a garbage bin.  Next thing after the song we're back outside the cottage." A big, shit-eating grin appeared on my face. "So, by way of answer, if you thought my singing was more deserving than simply being called 'nice', you would have said so!"

Strange thing about the power of musicals.  First moment you sing, the background would fade into blackness only to be short-lived by a new scenery and the jolting sound of trumpets, chimes and whatever else they throw at you.

"That still doesn't answer the question," said Twilight.

"My voice.  Is.  Terrible!  Come on, I can see it written all over your face that you were lying about it being nice earlier."

"Rick," Twilight began sternly with narrowed brows, "you shouldn't need to worry how bad your voice sounds.  When it comes from the heart, terrible or not, it's still considered beautiful," she finished that sentence with the tap of her hoof on her chest. "I, for one, thought you were spectacular."

I gave a little snort in disbelief. "Well the other ponies didn't seem to think so,"

"Who cares if anypony else finds it awful,"  Twilight argued.  "Take Sweetie Belle for example; Last time Fluttershy told me she sang... Well, let's just say the way she explained it, it was overtly loud and rambunctious.  Not everypony is perfect at singing, and no matter how bad it sounds, as long as one pony likes it, it's good enough for them." I noticed the tone in her voice as she stressed that last sentence.

"Fine, but it still doesn't change the fact that everypo- everyone," damn pony culture slang! "heard it," I huffed quietly.

Twilight's ears pricked up.  "What?"  She asked.

"Oh nothing..." I replied, nonchalantly.

With that out of the way, Twilight's horn began to glow with her signature rose-pink hue.  The door was promptly opened, but left ajar by her magic.  "I hope you don't mind me asking, but, do you care if I can see how you change clothes? It would be good for research purposes." The purple mare asked with a small, sheepish smile as she clopped her hooves together.

My eyes widened.  "Why in Sam's Hell would you want to do that?!"

"For educational purposes," Twilight answered in passing.

I tilted my head.  "Really, just... Really? 'Educational purposes...'" I said, my voice dripping sarcasm, my eyebrow cocking suspiciously.

Twilight's cheeks were burning with a certain reddish hue, a bead of sweat forming on the far right side of her forehead.  "Educational and... to... sate..." she trailed off on that last word. "Uhm, curiousity?"  Her wings suddenly sprout forth, stiff as wood, and her whole face was tinted in a much deeper red and her eyes moving in her head to see what involuntarily happened, much to my bemusement.

Oh oh oh,  I remember this!  This was back when I found myself researching pegasi on the internet.  It's not like I was forced to, mind you.  I had to for the sake of raising Fluttershy when it came to teaching her how to fly, but, I digress. If I know this, wings of a pegasus flare whenever they're excited, because that excitement stimulates the blood into the wings and therefore they become erect like Twilight's was doing now.  Wait a second... If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's rather equivalent to...

Oh dear...

My face also turned beet red at the realization.  Did it just get hotter all of a sudden?  It was probably the blazing sun getting to me, that or the pajamas.  Maybe both.  "Oh.  Well.  Um," I stammered uneasily.  "I- I don't know."

Twilight stepped forward more, using her hoof to stroke my leg salaciously.  "Just relax, Rick.  I mean, there's no reason to be nervous.  Especially around your new marefriend," she said with her best bedroom eyes.

I took a long, deep, calming breath.  "I'm not exactly nervous.  It's just..." I fidgeted trying to find the right word. "Uncomfortable having someone watching me getting dressed.  I would much prefer it if you wait downstairs for me."

Twilight gave a stiff, understanding, but at the same time disappointed nod, the blush receding from her cheeks. I could still see a faint shade of red though. "Alright," she complied, she flicked her tail on the back of my leg and followed it up with a wink. "But you can always watch me anytime," she added with a flirtatious wink over her shoulder, then resumed trotting into cottage followed by myself. Ponies don't even have clothes, so what in the hay did she mean by that!?

I made my way upstairs and into the room to put on some more decent clothes. I stood in the room momentarily - shoulders slumped, expression blank and eyes repeatedly blinking owlishly.  If I had all knowledge of the universe, through some erroneous reason, there would only be one word in the entirety of the English vocabulary that would best fit with what I just heard.

"...What?"

I shook my head to rid my thoughts of what just happened, and when I made my way back downstairs, Twilight was sitting on the couch.

With her wings still flared.

"Uhm, Twilight?"

"Yes?"

I leaned down to whisper softly in her ear. "Your wings."  I stood back up, and the blush returned with a vengeance, and she just sat there looking embarrassed—much to my amusement.  I couldn't help but grin.

Hearing this, Twilight peered over her shoulder to discover that her wings were still sticking out.  With a frightened gasp she said, "Well don't just stand there like an impish foal!  Help me with these things before Fluttershy comes back from the backyard!"

"W-why do I have to?!  Can't you will them down with your magic or something?  You're a bloody alicorn, for Pete's sake!"

"It's not that simple. I mean I could but it takes some time.  You can do it simple enough; just massage the specific joints where the muscles are and they'll relax them."

I held my hands up, waving them in protest.  "No freakin' way!  If I did that to them it'd almost be like I'm giving you a handjob!"

She turned to look back up at me.  "What's a handjob?"

"Twilight, there aren't enough nopes in the world.  I'm not going to explain that to you, no way!"

"All I'm asking is for you to massage and relax my wings so I can fold them!  What's so bad about that?"

She did have a point though - that's all she was asking me to do.  Yet the way she asked me to do it was loaded with innuendo from what I could tell.

I sighed in defeat and took a spot on the couch, as Twilight turned her back to me.  With reluctance I raised my hands and started running them along the tips of her wings.  She just sighed with content as I did my thing.  Sweet Jesus this was beyond wrong on so many levels.

"Remember the joints, too," Twilight reminded.

Without a reply, I skated my fingertips along the wings until I found a joint in them and pressed my thumbs into it to help relax the muscles in the area.  She didn't seem to do anything in response, and the wing seemed to relax a bit.

"How's that?"

She turned to me with a blush on her face. "Better.  Thank you."

I shook my head at the sight of the blush and moved onto the next wing, relaxing the joints in that one too.  Not too long, after I had relaxed them, she ruffled the wings and folded them back to her side.

"That's much better, but if you don't mind, could you just give them a once over?"

"...Why?"

"I can move them, but it's just to get out any remaining stiffness."

I groaned heavily and used one hand on each wing this time.  I rubbed my fingers and thumbs down the wings, getting closer and closer to the joints on her back.  When I got there, I put my thumbs on the base of each joint and wrapped my hand around each wing, using my thumbs as a pivot when I pulled the wings back towards me.

However... the inevitable had happened...

"Oh, goodness!  I forgot the pellets!"  said Fluttershy as she hastingly trotted back in from the back door, her eyes focused on the storage closet.  Out of the corner of her eye, she straightaway noticed our presence on the sofa...  Fluttershy skidded to an immediate halt, both hooves covering her mouth as her pupils shrank to the size of pins.

Silence took over; Twilight and I remained remotely frozen in place, exchanging petrified looks.

I turned to my daughter and spoke as casual as I could muster, "My dear Shy, please don't freak out, but this is totally what it looks like."

Chapter Twenty-Three

Log Eighteen - Chapter Seventeen

"Fluttershy?  You all right?"  I asked my daughter—whom was lying unconscious on the floor—worriedly.  No response.  But there's nothing to worry!  She's breathing normally, her pulse was fine and she's as healthy as, well, a horse.

Her reaction to 'me massaging her best and closest friend's wings' wasn't what either me or Twilight quite expected.  Well, Twilight may have.  God knows I least expected it.  When Fluttershy caught us in the middle of the scene, she just... fell flat on the ground like a felled tree.  It came to my astute attention that pegasi wings are profoundly... sensitive and must therefore be treated with utmost and proper care, which is why it is the fundamental reason they typically preen it by themselves only.  Their beau and close relatives are the exception, of course.  This might also apply to unicorns and their horn, but I don't know about the sensitivity of horns, and I'm scared to find out too.

Though at the same time they gain, dare I tentatively say, pleasure when either their wings or horn are handled professionally.  N-not to say I am professional in that regard...  Let's just cross this out and pretend I didn't scribble this bit of detail.

So I guess the message was too startling for my dear Shy to absorb that all she could do was faint.

Twilight, on her haunches, was next to me looking down at her pegasus friend with a worried frown.  "You sure she's okay?"  Twilight queried concernedly.  "That fall really sounded like it hurt..."

"I've checked; no bumps, bruises, scrapes or any sort.  Though I knew something like this was going to happen eventually.  But I never wanted her to find it out like this."  I sighed.  "Let's be grateful she didn't catch us doing something else that could have been worse."  And there I mentally facepalm for giving Twilight ideas.

"Like if she would ever catch us-"

I instantly planted an index finger on her lips, expectant what she would say.  "Whoa there, Timmy Turner!  Now's not the appropriate time to be thinking about that!  Besides, I think we're a long, long way away from anything like that.  I mean, it's just too sudden to be discussing those types of... things.  Especially on the first day of our relationship."

I've known for some time that Twilight's voice scarily familiar to that of Timmy Turner's from The Fairly Oddparents.  There was a certain pitch to it which made me make the connection.  Jeez, it's sure been an awful long time since the last I've seen it.  I really missed watching Cosmo.  That trouble-making half-a-meatball was definitely my favorite alongside Ed and Billy.  I don't know if it's only me, but, I seem to be fond of the dumb more entertaining cartoon characters.  I swear, that fairy's slower than a playground full of retarded kids.  No offence intended.

"I know," said Twilight, with a squeaking smile under my finger.  She arched a quizzed brow.  "Wait.  Timmy Turner?  Who's-"

Twilight was interrupted once again by a weak groan from Fluttershy.  I hastily retracted my finger from the purple mare's lips and glanced down at my daughter.

"I think she's coming to!" I softly hollered, relieved she was all right.  I slid a gentle hand to the back of her head and lifted it up.

Twilight was sorely relieved as well.  "Thank goodness," she whistled.

Fluttershy twitched each of her limbs, her face scrunching just a little.  She wrinkled her muzzle, followed by another tiny groan and a double flick of her pointy ears.  I carefully brushed away the silky strands of her pink hair that were obstructing her eyes as they slowly opened.  About halfway lidded, they then spontaneously flitted open.

"Dad?!  Twilight?!"  Fluttershy exclaimed perplexedly.  Twilight and I backed away to allow her space as she instantly hopped up on her fours.  She pointed at the purple mare, gawking, "Twilight, you were..."  She then pointed at me.  "And Dad, you were..."

Swiveling her sight back and forth, Twilight and I wordlessly nodded in unison.  "Yup.  Quite a shocker, huh?" I said, chuckling.  Twilight also joined my chuckle with hers.  We then looked at each other before staring down, our cheeks partially flushing hot pink.

Fluttershy continued to juggle her vision between us until she fitted the cerebral pieces together.  "So moments ago when I saw you two, does that mean you and her are..?"  She purposely trailed her words off for me to finish, though this made my cheeks glow redder.

"Indeed so," I answered.

"W-when?  Where?  For how long?"  Fluttershy blurted the questions rapidly.

"Easy there.  You'll pass out again if you keep that up," I said jokingly.  "Our relationship started outside, when Twilight wanted to speak to me privately.  We discussed on what to do at the coronation party.  Twilight confessed that she had a crush on me, which led up to us kissing.  Then we came back in and, well, that's when you coincidentally stumbled upon our... awkward situation.  That's the gist of it, really."

Fluttershy silently fixed me a confused stare, that was until she tapped her chin and replayed the scenario in her head.  A small blush bloomed across her face the moment she recalled what she witnessed.  She looked to Twilight inquisitively.  "So that really means you two are..?"

Twilight rested a forehoof on my shoulder.  "It does, Fluttershy.  I love him.  I really do."

Fluttershy then turned to me with the same inquisitive look.  "And Dad?"

I brought a hand to Twilight's hoof, rubbing it affectionately.  "Yes, my dear Shy," I confirmed as Twilight nuzzled me on the side of my neck.  "You could say that The Fates have brought us together."

For the record, The Fates are a bunch of bitches.

Fluttershy didn't respond right away.  Her brows were narrowly furrowed, eyes darting to and fro at the floor, she lowered her jaw but snapped it back shut to dwell further in her deepest thoughts.

Feeling Twilight's forehoof tensing, I stroked it to soothe her anxiety.  "Don't worry.  It's Fluttershy we're talking here.  You're each other's best friends, I'm sure she won't disapprove," I whispered calmly.  This, again, rewarded me another nuzzle on my neck's side.

Twilight smiled.  "That's the other thing I like about you - you tend to act so abnormally calm under certain stressful conditions," she whispered back.

"Let's just say that I had a lot of "snacks" before bed."

"Oh?"  Twilight nudged closer with a pique of interest.  "Mind if you give me a snack later?"

"I think I can sneak some over to your place.  Just don't share any with Spike."

"And perhaps some Honey Dew wine to go with it," Twilight purred provocatively, her warm breath caressing the edges of my left ear.  My heart skipped a beat.

I swear I'm not making this up.  Maybe relationships in Equestria are slightly different than Earth's?  Please prove me if I'm wrong here.

A loud cough from Fluttershy broke the hushed conversation and snagged our undivided attention.  We fixated our gaze to Fluttershy's, who had a seemingly disapproving frown.  "That's..." she ominously began, her expression distinguishable as a rock - both dull and impossible to read.

Twilight leaned in, her anxiety evergrowing, as I could determine by her trembling forehoof still resting on my shoulder.  However, seconds later, Fluttershy's frown slowly lit up to a soft smile.  I couldn't help taking note that the frown was meant to playfully mislead us.  Touche, daughter.  Touche.

"That's wonderful!"  Fluttershy finally finished in an outbursting cheer, her face brightened like the sun rising.  I urged a smile while watching Twilight's own smile stretching from ear to ear as if Fluttershy had made her world.  "This is absolutely wonderful!  I mean, you and Twilight?"  Fluttershy fluttered in for a celebratory hug, wrapping us around with not just her hooves but her large wings as well.  "I'm so, so happy for the two of you!"

"I'm glad you think so!" Twilight commented cheerily.

"And here you almost had us going there for a second, my dear Shy.  I would give you an applause, but I think a hug works just as fine," I quipped.

Fluttershy giggled to that.  "Aren't I a stinker, Father?"

Ah, one of the famous quotes from the illustrious Bugs Bunny.  Brings back childhood memories.  I grinned and tightened my hug.  "Heh, you sure are, sweetie.  You sure are."

Chapter Twenty-Four

Log Nineteen - Chapter Eighteen

"I'm just so happy for you two!"  Fluttershy cheered for the second time, her hug strengthening, turning vice-like, draining the air in both mine and Twilight's lungs until our faces contorted into dark blue like blueberries.  Who'd've thought that she had the bone-crushing strength of a python!

With little air I had to spare, I wheezed, "Ha...  Yes- yes.  I understand you're extremely happy for the both of us, but perhaps you could, ha, loosen up the hug a bit!  I feel like my insides are gonna pop out of one of two exits."

Fluttershy released her disturbingly powerful grip, allowing us the opportune freedom to gasp in precious oxygen.  "Oh, I'm sorry, Father.  I guess I got carried away."  Fluttershy blushed as she squee'd.  "I mean, it's so marvelous that you've found a special somepony!  And that special somepony is one of my best friends in the whole world!"  She softly squealed in utter joy.  Only my daughter could pull off something that graceful.

"I know!" Twilight exclaimed.  "I'm so glad you're not angry about all this."

Fluttershy leaned in for another hug.  "Why would I be?  I have one of my best friends in the whole world dating the best dad in the whole world!"  Aww shucks, Fluttershy.  I don't think I rightfully deserve that title, but it's heartwarming to know that she thought it to be true.  Letting go, she quickly skipped over and gave me another short hug.  "This is so exciting that I could scream out to the entire town!  Oh um...  Not really, but... You get the point."

I stood back up to my full height, nodding.  A certain part of my internal body was exerting outward pressure, in an uncomfortable way, impelling me to ascend up the stairs in a rapid manner to where the bathroom was.  "Nature is calling, be right back!"  I said, walking to the stairs posthaste.  I probably should have went the moment I woke up.  Well, better late than never.

"In that case, I need to get the pellets to feed my fluffy bunnies.  The poor little things must be starving from waiting this long," said Fluttershy worriedly.

"And in that case, I should go with Rick and make sure he doesn't, uh, fall or anything," said Twilight who followed pursuit.

I was at midpoint between the ground floor and the top, rolling my eyes.  Yeah... in case I'd fall...  I mistook the timing of my feet, and instead of putting my whole foot on the topmost stair, only my toes caught the lip of the stair, causing me to teeter.  I flailed both arms in a(n) vain effort to recover my balance but, luckily for me, Twilight was right behind to catch my fall with a blanket of her magic and pushed me forward where I regained my footing.

I would say that staircases should have hand-rails, but in a society that didn't have hands...

Whew, I mouthed.  I looked over my shoulder and raised a waving hand.  "Heh... Uh, thanks, Twilight.  Guess I should really be more careful."

Twilight beamed, "No problem!"

I took a moment to catch my breath, while Twilight went ahead of me, swishing her tail from side to side.  That gave me more of a view than I wanted, or needed for that matter.

Honestly, some things are better left to the imagination.  I'm not exactly sure how to feel about that, though.

I shook my head and continued up the stairs to find Twilight had somehow disappeared from view, either through one of the two bedroom doors or into the bathroom, opposite the two doors. I went to the bathroom door and knocked on it, expecting an answer. When I didn't hear anything, I walked in, bled the lizard, and departed.  Funny thing about the figure of speech, bleed the lizard, was when I first time mentioned it, Fluttershy was always crying to me not to do it.  Oh it was so silly that I had to carefully explain it to her what men used the phrase for.  I laughed so hard it jerked a tear in my eye.

Anyway, I went back downstairs to see if Twilight had gone back down, but I just found my dear Shy feeding a few of her animals; squirrels, rabbits and other rodent-related critters.

"Hey, did you see Twilight come back down?" I asked.

Fluttershy shook her head.  "She just went upstairs after you and didn't come back down.  Did you see if she went into your room?"

It is certainly a possibility... "I'll go check."

I barely caught her next comment. "Try not to make too much noise."

I don't entirely know what she meant by that, and I ended up staring at her with an incredulous look.  Apparently she didn't realise what she said either, and ended up blushing.  I just smirked at her situation, figuring that would never happen between us, and continued back up the stairs as Fluttershy tried to sheepishly shrink back into her bigger-on-the-inside mane.

I got to the door on the end, my room, and knocked.  "Come in," came the sultry voice from within.

Frowning slightly from that reply, I cracked open the door and spoke through the crack, "Are you... Decent?"

"But of course, Rick," she answered with the same tone.

I swung the door open to find a sight I wouldn't call decent, as far as my expectations would go.

Twilight managed to find the time to dress up in a rather... Interesting outfit to say the least.  Her hair was tied up in a bun using a strip of black lace with a couple locks of her mane falling just behind her ears.  She had a corset laced up from both the left and right sides, with holes for her wings, with the portion going down her back tapering at the tail with a button-snap to go around the of the tail at the base.  All four of her hooves/legs donned shiny black silk, either leggings or stockings, with the rear pair stopping just below her haunches. The jist of what she had in mind was further accentuated by a buckled, black, faux-leather collar around her neck. She lay out flat on the bed with her tail lifted slightly, her glittering eyes looking at me while she had one hoof crossed over the other.

I stood, frozen in place, and wasn't sure what to say or do.  Actually, a more accurate description of how I felt would be to say that I felt time standing still while I looked upon her lithe form with various conflicting emotions, thoughts, and how to handle the situation.

"Why don't you come in, hmm?" She used her magic to close the door, and I planted my back against it.

A lone speck of sweat dripped down the back of my neck as I audibly gulped.  "I, uh... I-- why are you dressed like that?"

She rolled onto her back, legs hanging in the air like a cat getting its belly scratched. A cat dressed in black lace. There's more mental imagery that I didn't need in my book or journal.

"Come, sit next to me," she said, smiling coquettishly.  I didn't know if that was either an invitation or a command, but I prayed it'd be neither.

And have you ever got an involuntary, erm, reaction... to something you know you weren't supposed to?  Neither did I.

Nervous, I replied, "O-okay..."  I made my first tentative step, and then another.  I was a little more nervous in those two steps than there needed to be.  I mean, it was that Twilight being too suddenly forward made me reconsider about this romantic relationship.  But that might just be me being biased.  It's the first day, after all.  What sort of man would I be for giving up without giving it at least a try?  A wimp, that's what.

I swallowed the courage with difficulty—for I had butterflies fluttering around in my stomach—and upped my pace and sat on the bed next to the mare, twiddling my thumbs as I trailed my gaze down to the wooden floor.  I felt something warm tingling the left side of my cheek, forcibly turning my neck right so that Twilight's pearly lavender eyes were deeply staring into mine.  Oh there's definitely fire burning within them alright, a fiery passion of love, and the intent of... lovemaking.

"So," Twilight started smoothly, the tip of her hoof curling my sideburn. "How do I look?"

I bit the bullet and blurted whatever my brain could conceive, "Like a million bucks."  That was one of the stupidest things I have ever said.

To my surprise, it didn't bother Twilight at all.  She seemed to actually have received it better than I would've thought.  "Perfect," she cooed.

I decided to play along for the time being, so I just extended a hand and began to scratch behind one of her ears.  She seemed to relax as a whole, melting under my touch.  Her tongue lolled out her mouth, and her legs hanging in the air as she enjoyed getting scratched.

Twilight limply fell onto her left side, her back to me.

"Come closer," she idly whispered.

I uncomfortably shifted my weight, and not my position, to make it seem like I moved closer.  My hand moved up and down her neck from her ear to the collar.

After a few minutes, everything dipped into uncomfortable silence.

"Uhm, Twi... You still with me?"

She lifted her head and looked back at me. "Kiss me, Rick."

The first time we kissed, it felt... odd.  Now this time, minus the lace, it kind of feels... I don't know, right?  I decided to give in and began to lean forward - three inches.  Two inches.  One inch.  I got closer and closer, but then something else caught my attention.

Hoofsteps thundered from outside the hallway, followed by a door being thrown open.

"Hey, Rick, where did you..."

It was Twilight.

Then... Who the hell was this?  My eyes widened in horror as I fell back off the bed, shuffling towards the door on my ass, breathing heavily. The Twilight laying on the bed floated up off the bed, and, with a pop, the seductively dressed imposter morphed into Discord and began contorting in ways which shouldn't have been physically possible, combusting in laughter.

"You should see the looks on your faces!" he cawed so uproariously loud I had no doubt the entire world heard him.  "I really got you good this time!"

"D-D-Discord?!  What in the bloody f-"  Before I could finish, a zipper magically poofed to one side of my mouth and zipped my trap tightly shut.

"Tsk, tsk, Rick," Discord clicked his tongue.  "You should know better than to use profanity!"  The spirit chastised as he fished out a black box with white, bolded letters engraved on it.

Twilight helped me off the floor.  "Discord?  What in the hay are you doing here?  For that matter, what were you and Rick doing just then!?"

I habitually dusted myself off, after unzipping my mouth, and looked at the befuddled alicorn.  "Me?  I was doing nothing!  Honest to God," I said, convincingly.

Discord waved at her dismissively.  "Oh just the usual - wreaking chaos here and there.  Harmlessly, of course.  And I thought it'd be a kick goofing around with Rick before the "big ceremony"," he said.  "Speaking of which, congratulations on the ascension, my dear.  I knew from the day I met you, before you encased me in stone, that you were the gifted unicorn - it's not everyday you'd see those.  Though I will admit that I've came across a few in my younger days," he rambled.

Twilight and I raised an eyebrow simultaneously.  "How'd you know about that?" we asked.

Discord smirked, and hummingly chuckled.  "I have my ways," he said, cryptically.

"You eavesdropped at the bridge, didn't you?" I queried flatly, folding my arms.

"Perhaps."  Discord shrugged.  "You both are acting like it's a big deal."

"No, it's not a big deal," Twilight agreed.  "But what the 'big deal' is that you deliberately seduced Rick of his own volition.  You assumed my identity as a princess, which that itself is a big, big deal.  You realize that committing a fake identity is a crime; ponies get sentenced months for that.  But imitating a princess?  That's probably a life sentence."

"Oh come now, Twi, my dear," said the nonchalant spirit, descending flat on his stomach on the bed's mattress, "I only did it for the mere sport of fun."

I snorted in half-amusement.  "Well it wasn't fun from my perspective...  Besides, aren't you worried?"

"Worried?  Worried that you would take advantage of this by telling Fluttershy what happened, therefore blackmailing me into whatever bidding you so desire?"

I rose a pointing finger.  "I..."  I stopped, tongue sticking out between my lips.  I sucked my tongue back in as an idea, a devious one which Discord had given me, sprouted.  The corners of my lips curled to a wicked smile like the Grinch's.  "Twilight, dear, close the door would you?"  She stepped in and closed the door behind her.

"What are you doing?" asked the curious draconequus.

"You impersonated a princess."  The smile disappeared from his face...  "Wearing lace, stockings, and a corset." ...only to be replaced by one of fear.  I looked to Twilight and I just knew she was thinking the same thing I was.

"The way I look at it," Twilight began with a smug, "You do what we ask until Rick and I feel like like the misdeed has been worked off."

I concurred with a nod.

His whole floating form, sagged. "Oh bollocks..." Discord muttered ruefully.

"Three conditions," I said with three fingers raised.  "For starters, you are forbidden from pranking me for a WHOLE week.

"A whole week?  That's practically like seven minutes to me," Discord responded, brushing his lion paw's knuckles across his chest.

"And you're officially uninvited to the coronation buffet," Twilight added in.

Discord waved it off.  "Pfft.  As if I was going to attend your tea party anyways."

"And..." I said, "and, uh, and you must kiss Princess Celestia's flank."

"What?!" Twilight and Discord snapped.

"You're right, you're right.  That's a little extreme.  Um..."

"How about on our first date, you must serve us as our waiter at a fancy restaurant," said Twilight.

"Ooh, that's a good one," I heartily agreed.  "Then it's settled.  If you don't abide to these conditions, we'll rat you out."

Crossing his mismatched extremities, Discord huffed and conceded begrudgingly.  A small, black storm cloud appeared over his head.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Log Twenty - Chapter Nineteen

Twilight and I moseyed on down the stairs, conversing over the awkward moment, to say the least, that transpired.

"The nerve of that guy," I grumbled as I took cautious steps down the stairs with Twilight, who was vigilant I'd make it all the way down without incident, flanked to my left.  "Honestly he could have, I don't know, taken a different approach than... than that!"  I wrapped my arms around myself and grimaced with a shiver.  "And I almost kissed him!  Blegh!"

"Yeah...  About that.  What was Discord doing in your room anyway?  And how did he know your name?  Did you two bump into each other or something?"  Twilight wondered in curiosity.

I chuckled with a touch of humor.  "To say we "bumped into each other" would be misconstrued."

"Then how did you two meet?  Oh, wait, this would be an excellent topic to talk about at the coronation buffet!  I'm sure all the girls would be fixated to know about your affiliation with Discord!"

"Err, sure.  I guess?"  I answered unsurely.  First and foremost, nobody still knows about me and Discord's spot at the lake, and we've kept it that way ever since.  I wasn't exactly determined to know the reasoning behind it.  Then again, since when has Discord ever been subtle or reasonable at any point in time?  It'd be best not to ask or question it, for the sake of sanity.

We were now on the second step from the cottage's ground floor when Twilight halted in place and tapped her chin thoughtfully.  "There's still one thing that eludes me," she mused aloud.

I hit the final step and stopped to look at the puzzled mare.  "Yeah?"

"The slates on the doors; I was definite that the room I went into was your room hence the slate on the door was labelled 'Rick's Room'.  But if it wasn't, why were the slates switched?"

She had a valid point.  I wondered how, or why, the slates had gotten switched...  Both me and Twilight widened our eyes as if our minds were insync.  "That son of a..." I growled through gritted teeth.  That bastard must've switched the plates while we were all downstairs and switched them back after I went to the bathroom.

The mare shook her head, sighing in annoyance.  "Discord will be Discord..."

"Where did you go anyway?" I asked.

She just snickered.  "Discord switched the signs, so I went into the other room on accident to wait for you."

"But wouldn't you have figured out it wasn't my room; how long were you in Fluttershy's bedroom before you figured out it wasn't mine?"

Twilight, much to her chagrin, flattened her ears.  "Apparently too long, judging by what I caught you doing with Discord."

"Hey!  I told you that I had nothing to do with it," I retorted.  Twilight nudged my side, and I could only turn my head away and... blush.  "And what did you want me for anyway?  I think that much got lost up until now."

This time it was Twilight's turn to blush. "I... I, uhm..."

I turned to her with mild confusion and then the realisation why she stammered sunk in.  "You were going to do what Discord did, weren't you!?"  I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

"...Uhm, no?"

"So you're telling me if I searched you, I wouldn't find lingerie?"

She adorably hung her head and grumbled.  "Fine, you win.  But I still get the satisfaction from knowing you would have kissed me!"  Damn, couldn't deny she got me there.  "Long as we're still on the topic, how did Discord capture my looks?"

"Huh?" I intelligently asked.

"When Discord disguised himself as me, how spot on were the details?  Don't be afraid to tell me what was running through your mind."

"Uh..."

I'll be frank - there really wasn't much thought to be had when I saw Discord imitating Twilight in black, silky stockings and corset.  It was that moment where everything inside my head turned blank that I was shockingly stunned by not just from how the imposter Twilight looked but from how much the show obscured the other side of these characters.

Then it wouldn't be a kid's show if they showed everything of this world...

And seeing Twilight pretty eager for my response, I ran a hand up along my forehead to the back of my head and answered, "Let me be a little disarmingly honest with you, Twilight.  The moment I saw you- err, I mean you as in the Discord you- ugh, I mean the imposter you, dressed up like that, I was so stunned that I essentially lost the ability to think for myself from the blood rushing elsewhere," I said.  Twilight's ears drooped, disappointment composed on her expression.   "BUT," I spoke up before Twilight could speak, "But I will recap the moment so that I can then tell you what my exact thoughts are."

Twilight's spirit lifted, the disappointed look vanishing from her features, as a pleased, adorkable smile now adorned her muzzle.

"At first, I was awfully nervous what was going to happen from there.  Discord had you down flawlessly in all aspects; your voice, your eyes, your body -- I don't think there was any mistake I could identify.  Everything was spot on from top to bottom."  I stood momentarily silent, thinking that was too brief.  "That wasn't detailed as much...  Let me rephrase."  I said, clearing my throat.  Twilight nodded and goaded me to proceed.  "I was rather angst about what would've happened if that was you, and where we would've gone from there.  A part of me still has that opposition of inter-species relationships, but the other side of me really wants this to work since I've left everything on Earth and would rather have that 'everything' here - a home, a daughter; a simple life basically."

Twilight sat on one of the steps, patiently listening to every word.

I sighed.  "And I considered the last thing I needed in my life was an intimate relationship.  I've thought of that all my life.  But that's when you came along with your confession."  Twilight's ears pricked to that.  "I don't want to sound like a jerk, but, a million scenarios ran my mind during that time, a good amount were prejudices of me dating a pony.  I know you know that I've mentioned this before.  Though I wanted to be more clear with you how unsettling I believed it was firsthand."

"Right," Twilight confirmed, inclining a comprehensive nod.

I let out another sigh.  "Yes- I was a tad shocked and somewhat disgusted, and you have every right to call that unjust.  Yet the other scenarios inside my mind were how I found someone who likes me for who I am."  I raised both hands in the air which Twilight instinctively extended her hoof to let me clasp my palms gingerly around it.  "Twilight.  Your confession made me realize that I didn't have to live a lonely life.  You could call it an epiphany or whatever.  The bottom line is that, like Fluttershy, you've given me a different kind of love I've neglected for years.  And oddly enough, Discord's little prank gave me that courage to man up and do what feels right."

"When I saw the imposter you with that cute hair tied up to a bun, your pupils reflecting in the sunlight, I never realized how more beautiful you are, even if you are a pony.  To me, you don't have to sway me with clothes, innuendo, flattery or actions; to me, I see beauty through two things: eyes and personality.  When I look into your eyes, I get entranced by how stunningly alluring they are and the soul flickering with brilliant pureness behind them.  I like the way your hair is straight.  You don't use fancy shampoo or stuff Rarity uses to make her hair that meticulously curled."  Twilight blushed but motioned me to press on.  "And from those conversations we had about my planet, I really liked how you documented the newfound knowledge you obtain.  You take things a bit seriously and express your opinions in a profound context.  So not only are you beautiful, you're incredibly smart."

"Rick," said Twilight, flashing me with bedroom eyes.  "Fluttershy has never mentioned this side of you."

I smirked.  "Well, I tend to get sappy whenever I feel this way.  Heh.  Though I am willing to give us a future."  Serious as I mostly am, I was dead-set in those words there.  I may had lost my chance with Tina but I'd be damned if I let this chance slip by me again.  "The road will be rough, but I'm determined to stick through to the end if you ar-"

Twilight abruptly ignited her horn, the purple aura engulfed the front of my shirt's collar and pulled me into a loving kiss, one that's more perfervid than the last time we've done it.  I felt the wave of passion circulating throughout my body reaching its way into my heart's core.  Twilight wrapped her hooves around my neck, while I held both hands to each side of her face, savoring every second of this moment.

There was one man.

There was one pony.

Their bond seeded.

Growing with passion.

Blooming into an explosion of love.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Log Twenty-One - Chapter Twenty

Y'know- it'd be times like this I'd reflect on me establishing a certain form of closeness with a pony.  A lavender cartoon pony with pegasus wings, a unicorn horn, and inheriting the ability to fluidly speak perfect English.  Well, the actual language they speak is Equestrian, as I've been oh so humbly reminded from time and time again.  Whatever.  I do find it queer that our language are scarily parallel to this world.  Furthermore, upon my few observational visits around Ponyville from the first month I arrived here I discovered that several ponies here do, in fact, possess architectures and technology that have quite the stark resemblance to our own human handiwork...

So Equestria is not all that primitive how I perceived it to be.

Ahem.  As I was saying—before I railed off from the main subject there—it's times like this I'd be pensive about establishing a romantic bond with Twilight.  Sure I might again sound bigoted by noting such discriminating thoughts but no matter what there is always going to be that boundary in how a person was born and raised to believe.  Maybe if I was a baby raised in Equestria I'd probably have a more lenient perspective of dating ponies, regardless of what species I am.

Despite this- I assured myself that I'm willing to go along with it, even if it completely goes against morals I've abided for years, and there's one of the things about me everyone should know is that I never go back on my word.  Period.  I at least have to make some prime example of my gender, right?

Her horn still radiating magic, Twilight gave another sharp tug on the front of my suit's collar, smushing our lips harder together.  Her showing how deeply touched she was by my monologue was taking my breath away.  By that, I meant it quite literally she was taking my breath away to the point where I needed some fresh air.  I opened my eyes, trying my best to push her off politely so I could breathe.

Twilight seemed to notice my struggle and killed her magic, breaking her lips from mine.  I gasped an urgent mouthful of air and blew it out with "Woo wee!" as I staggered backwards until my back smacked against a wall with a thump.

The mare descended the last two steps of the stairs and shot me a puzzled stare.  "Something wrong, Rick?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, no.  Nothing wrong, really."  I waved a reassuring hand.  "But you were almost sucking the life out of me!" I said, figuratively.  Well, one kind of life, anyway.  "I thought I was going to pass out for a moment there."

"Sorry," Twilight said with an apologetic smile, round shades of pink glowing on her dimples.  "I guess I might have lost myself there for a minute."  She then chuckled sheepishly.  "It's just that nopony has ever said that to me before."

I removed my back from the wall and folded my arms across my chest, quirking a brow.  "Really?" I asked flatly.

"Well I've actually had numerous dates before, although I prefer not to share the info for several good reasons," Twilight said, her mouth twisting into a grimace.  She shook away the grimace and smiled.  "But none of them have ever said such eloquent, poetic words like yours, Rick.  What you said minutes ago was... wow," Twilight purred lovingly at the last word.  "I don't have any words that could correctly describe how perfect that was."

"Yeah..."  I uneasily cleared my throat as I tugged the side of my collar.

I very much want to say it's not suggestive as how I'm interpreting it to be.  I am quite deliberate keeping things platonic, but in rare cases a lecherous idea would involuntarily surface yet only to be shoved back down into the darkest recesses of my mind because I am cognizant of how wrong it is.  I couldn't help it, though.  I'm a grown male after all, and I seriously doubt one man has lived without a dirty thought or two in his entire life.

Anyway.  After some minutes I suddenly remembered about the coronation.  "Anyway, as it just occured to me, how many hours is left until the coronation?" I asked.  "I kind of lost the track of time."

Twilight's serene smile vanished in an instant; her ears slumped, eyes broadly widened, pupils shrinking to the size of pinpricks, the corners of her mouth sagging in horror, Twilight squished her cheeks with the flat of her hooves and gasped panickingly, "OH MY GOSH!  I completely forgot all about the coronation!"  The alicorn mare ran up to me and pushed herself onto her hind legs, putting her forehooves on my chest.  She shook me wildly until my eyes were spinning dizzily.  "Why didn't you remind me!?" she shouted.

"I-"

Twilight landed back down on her fours and bolted to the nearest window she could find, observing the sun's position in the clear sky with thoughtful scrutiny.  "It must have been two hours, or an hour and a half at the very least!" she cried.  "How could I have been so absentminded?!'

I raised a finger, mouth still open, "Well I-"

I got cut off once more.  "And I've yet prepared!" Twilight cried as she immediately bolted out the cottage's front door before I had the chance to say anything else.  She quickly flew back in and was fluttering right in front of my face a millisecond later.  "Sorry, I almost forgot!"  She lightly pecked me on the lip.  "Alrightgottagoseeya!"  With that, she departed out of the house in a purple blur.

I idly stood by and watched her figure sinking into the horizon, blinking multiple times dumbfoundedly.  I shook out of my stupor and muttered to no one in particular, "Well then.  Guess I should also get ready for the coronation."  I straightened myself, turned, and ascended the stairs, looking to my left and right making absolute certain the slates were on their respective doors, which they were thankfully, and headed into my bedroom to get my suit and pants so I would look smart.

I've never been to a coronation before, so I had no idea what to expect.  I was just told to get dressed in formal attire, act like a gentleman, and throw compliments here and there.  Sounds simple enough, really.

I rummaged my suitcase where my suit and pants were in and slung them over my shoulder, grabbing my cologne, deodorant, both my toothbrush and toothpaste the meanwhile.  Another thought occurred to me.

Oh yeah!  I forgot about that black fedora Rarity gave me as a 'Welcome to Ponyville' present.  It would go great with the black suit and pants.

I do favor the color black.  In my opinion, I think it's a manly color.

With the necessities acquired, I marched straight to the bathroom and took a nice, clean and warm shower before touching up.  I made extra effort scrubbing my armpits to rid the accumulated odor.  After rinsing and drying off, I wrapped a towel around my waist and stood in front of the mirror cabinet.  I ran a hand down the side of my cheeks to my chin, feeling the rigidness of my sideburns.

Boy, I sure let myself go, I said in thought.  Opening the cabinet, I grabbed a buzzer on the shelf and gently closed the cabinet.  Why Fluttershy had a buzzer still remained a mystery to me, but I didn't question as it was about to prove its usefulness.  As I buzzed away, I could feel the coolness touching my skin.  It felt therapeutic.  I then put away the buzzer back into the cabinet and snatched the cologne sitting on the sink.  I sprayed the fragrance from head to toe profusely.  I put down the cologne and next rubbed my pits with the deodorant.

I took a whiff.  Ah, nothing beats the pleasing smell of AXE products.

Setting the deodorant down beside the cologne, I held up a toothbrush and toothpaste in each hand.  With my left hand I squeezed the tube as a string of the stuff came out like play dough onto the bristles, and with my right hand holding the dental instrument I began brushing away.  Once finished, I sipped the tap water, gurgled, and spat into the sink's drain.  Using my forearm to wipe my mouth off, I seemed to notice an oddity in the mirror...

Part of me was wondering if I was dreaming-like I had too much special sauce, or if someone had spiked the water supply with some kind of hallucinogenic drug since my reflection was holding up its right arm while I held up my right arm.  That's... not right.  If I'm raising my right hand, the reflection should be raising its left hand.

I just stood there, mouth open, holding the toothbrush absentmindedly while I tried figuring out what the hell was going on.  I moved my hand, the reflection's hand moved in the complete opposite direction.  I blinked my right eye, the reflection blinked its opposite eye.  Calmly, I laid the toothbrush down on the sink, and rubbed my eyes with the ball of my palms then returned eying the mirror scrutinizingly.

I blinked my left eye, the reflection blinked the appropriate eye.  Good, everything is back to normal.  As I was about to depart, once again I noticed my reflection was going to the opposite direction where I was originally going.  I backpedaled back to the mirror just as my reflected counterpart did. Okay, I think I might definitely be hallucinating now.

I blinked several times, as my reflection did.  However, after the fourth time I blinked, my reflection's eyes changed color.  The sclera stayed white, but the irises changed to a jaundiced yellow with red pinpricks.

Oh, now I'm understanding what's going on...

I glared at the mirror with a scowling frown.  "Cut it out, Discord."

My reflection gained a mind of its own and started floating around within the frame of the mirror.

"Awww, you're no fun, Ricky-boy."

"Far as our friendship goes, you will address me regularly as Rick," I scowled.  "One slip up and I'll have Twilight relay a letter to Celestia about the whole thing.  She'll never let you live it down until you die.  Which won't happen since you basically can't.  In lesser words, it'll be forever.  So you better watch your step," I said, stretching a devious smile.

"Ah, yes," the other me said in Discord's voice.  He materialised a comfy-looking red couch with one snap and sat on it.  "I completely forgot about your relationship with Twilight Sparkle."  He chuckled in short hums.

"You have a tendency brown nosing in people's business," I said.

"Then what friend would I be if I couldn't stay in touch to everything you do?" Discord replied his defense.  "Is that so wrong, Rick?"

"In a way, yes," I replied.  "But I guess it'd save me the trouble explaining it to you.  Though I thought not long ago we made it pretty clear about you pranking me.  Reason I didn't holler for Fluttershy is because you caught me in the middle of something," I said pointing down at my towel.  I tightened the towel around my waist and gazed back at the mirror.  "So I'll let you off on this one.  But do it again..."

"I promise this time.  I swear this to you on my great, great, great, great, great, great, great-"

"Okay!  I get it," I said, rubbing one of my temples.

The imposter me clapped his hands together in delight.  "Excellent!  Now, about your romantic involvement with Twilight..."

I held a hand to stop him.  "Whoa, whoa.  There is absolutely nothing 'too personal' between me and her.  The feeling's platonic, and I for one like to keep it that way until we know each other better."

"I one-hundred-percent understand, Rick," Discord said calmly.  "Though you should think about what it'd be like dating royalty."

"Oh, do tell?" I asked intelligently, first mad but now my curiosity piqued.

"So you don't know?  Oh, you will certainly love this."  Discord smiled as he rubbed his palms rapidly.  "When it comes to dating royalty, you should know that it comes with great benefits!"

Discord, at this point, got my attention.  "Such as?" I queried.

"Such as going out for dates.  I hear royalties and their beau can often eat free.  Without tip, even."

"That's hardly a perk..." I said dryly.  "Famous people and even critiques kinda have that sort of thing."

Discord suddenly chortled and held his sides as he rocked back and forth on the plushy red couch.  I even think some of his spittle landed on my cheek, but I didn't grimace and instead rolled my eyes in annoyance.  He sat back upright, flicked away a tear from his left eye, and suppressed a chuckle which almost threatened to escape his lips.  "So serious you are.  I suppose that's a thing you and Twilight have in common," he said.  I narrowed my eyes.

"Whatever.  Just get on with it," I growled.  Discord, with my face's mouth, grinned matronly.  Got to say, I have never seen my mouth smile that wide before.  Rather a disturbing sight...

"Certainly," he replied after gathering his composure.  "And think about it-If the dates you two have planned go swimmingly well, perhaps your relationship will evolve into fiancee status, and if it goes furtherly well you'd be engaged and get married!  Imagine what it'd be like if you can do whatever you want without facing the consequences!"

An even more devious smile spread across my face. "You're absolutely right, my mismatched friend."

That seemed to catch him off-guard. "I am?"

"Allow me to explain.  On Earth, we had something called the United Kingdom.  It was a group of countries under a monarchy with a Queen, and, the Queen is literally above the law."  His demeanor didn't seem to falter.  "In the UK, when someone went to court they went up against the Crown, and the Queen is the Crown.  Therefore, the Crown cannot go up against the Crown."

"Rick, my dear, mistaken boy.  Don't kid yourself, you're not above the rest of the citizens of Equestria."

"No, but as you said I'm dating a princess.  Surely if something happened to you, courtesy of me, I'm sure she'd convince Celestia and other officials to sidestep the issue."  This time, his expression grew angered.  "Right now, you're under my thumb."

"Do you seriously think that Twilight would have a conflict of interest?" Discord commented.

"Is that even a question?  You know what happened when she missed the deadline for her friendship letter."  I could vaguely recall what my dear Shy explained when Twilight goes a little nutty, whether it'd be sleep deprivation or something.  Let's see to it that today does go according to her plan, otherwise for me things would go downhill from there.  "Now be on your merry way, I got to finish up."

The mirror flashed white and got replaced with my regular reflection.  I knew I've got Discord beaten.  "I've waited my whole life to do this..." I murmured as I clasped my fingers.  "The finger pyramid of evil contemplation.  Feels good."

Part of me was riding the euphoric high-horse of essentially one-upping the literal God of Chaos, not to mention having him under my thumb in every sense of the word, and the other part of me was wondering how far I could take it, too.

I guess only time will tell, but, for now, I had to focus getting ready for the coronation.

Chapter Twenty-Seven - The Date - Part One

Log Twenty-Two - Chapter Twenty-One

The time for the coronation drew nearer the more I squandered around getting prepared, so without further delay I decided to skip combing my hair and quickly donned my suit-jacket and pants in a careful fashion.  As I made my hasty egress from the bathroom down to the stairs, while paying a wary mind to the steps this time, I contemplated what Discord had said in the bathroom.

Yes, he made a rather convincing case that there were plentiful benefits to dating royalty.  But, I'm pretty concerned on the matter that if I dated Twilight just for that despicable purpose, it would devastate her to the very depth of her soul.  And I would not dare envision how Fluttershy, and her other close friends for that matter, would react to that.

Probably unkindly would be the appropriate term to use.

As for Celestia's reaction?  Well, it's obvious whether I'd get catapulted to the sun or get tossed in a dark dungeon and become spoils for the rats.  Or worse...  She might strap me to a chair and force me against my will to listen to Pinkie Pie prattle on and on about stupid stuff for an entire day.  That'd be something straight out of a nightmare.

Maybe I'm exaggerating a teeny bit.  But I'm not taking any chances!

I eventually reached the bottom of the stairs.  In the center of the living room, I saw my daughter having a hushed discussion with Angel who seemed indignant judging by his narrowed, beady eyes.

I sauntered toward the two furtively as Fluttershy had just about gone over the rules with Angel.

"Alright, Angel," Fluttershy said softly.  "Be sure to behave yourself while we're absent.  I left you a nice, small bowl of delicious salad with whip cream and a cherry on that table."  Fluttershy pointedly glanced at the said table, and indeed sitting on it was a fairly-sized bowl of healthy-looking greens layered with a mountain of whip cream and a ripe-looking cherry on its peak.  I'm not much of a vegetarian but damn it looked mighty appetizing.  "I shouldn't be gone for too long, sweetie," she crooned, "and when I come home and see you've been a good bunny, I'll fluff your tail two times a day for a whole week.  Deal?"

Crossing his tiny and furry arms, the little fluffball tapped his left foot, his eyes still narrowed.

Fluttershy smiled motherly.  "I know you're a little mad, but it's only for a while.  Can I count on you to keep an eye on the animals and the house for me?" she asked.  "Pretty please?"

Angel considered the thought and scratched the bottom of his chin.  He pantomimed several gestures I couldn't decipher but Fluttershy nodded here and there like she understood him entirely.

"Three times a day?" Fluttershy queried.  Angel answered with a brief, firm nod.  "Alright, Angel.  Three times a day for a week."

Angel's defiance was alleviated by my daughter's concession.  He jerked a smile of satisfaction and then scurried off elsewhere.  Fluttershy blew out a relieved sigh and smiled.  She swiveled her neck an inch, her small smile then broadened when she saw me.  I gladly reciprocated with my own.

"Quite the little tike," I started conversationally.

"Angel's still a young bunny," Fluttershy remarked.  "He'll learn eventually."

"Right, right," I replied, nodding.

My daughter gave me a once-over.  "You look marvelous," she admired.

"Thanks.  Been a while since I've worn these."  I slowly spun around and back.  "Glad they're still in great condition.  Anyways.  It seems we might have an hour and a half before the coronation.  Twilight already left to go pamper herself or whatever you girls do."

"Funny you mention that because I was just about to go pamper myself in the bathroom upstairs.  I just needed Angel to watch over the place while we're gone."

"By bribing him salad and tail fluffing," I said, disapprovingly.  "I know you said he's young, but spoiling him won't help him learn to be mature anytime soon.  I raised you to be better than that," I scolded with arms crossed.

"I know..." Fluttershy admitted sadly, hanging her head low.

I knelt down to her level and rubbed the top of her head.  "I really didn't mean to scold you like that, my dear Shy," I said, consoling her.  "I know you're very responsible with all your other animals.  It's just Angel, specifically."

She still had her head low.  Feeling sorry, I lifted her off the floor and cradled her in my arms like a caring mother would hold her newborn baby.  What was I going to do, you ask?  Just how any loving father would do to brighten his daughter's day; I pursed my lips, dove my mouth into the center of Fluttershy's belly without warning and gave it a mean raspberry.

"Ahahahaha!" Fluttershy shrieked in giggling laughter.  "N-no-Ahaha!  Stop-Ahahaha!" she spoke between her stifling laughs while flailing her legs frantically.

I parted my lips from her belly, but not before I came for another swift blow.  This time I gave it my all in short bursts, as my daughter laughed herself silly.  Finally after some blows I stopped so she could catch her breath.

"All better now?" I asked with a warm smile.

Fluttershy wrapped her hooves around my neck and pulled herself up to me in an affectionate hug, smothering the side of her head against my cheek.

"Yes, thank you," she whispered gratefully.

I held her close and patted her back.  "You're very welcome, my dear Shy," I whispered, now stroking her back comfortingly.  "I'm just trying to help you.  I never meant to hurt your feelings that way.  I love you very dearly, and I would never hurt you intentionally."  I trailed my hand up behind her head, where it was soon devoured by her soft mane, and brought her forehead to mine.

"I love you too, Father," Fluttershy said as she tickled my nose with her muzzle, "and I know you never would."

"And I certainly won't, either," I added.  I lowered her to the floor.  "Now that that's settled, go ahead and get ready.  We might have to leave here very soon if we're going to meet up with your other friends in Canterlot."

"Okay!" Fluttershy chirped.  She trotted past me and headed to the stairs, her smile brighter than it ever was before.

Chapter Twenty-Eight - The Date - Part Two

Log Twenty-Three - Chapter Twenty-Two

I began to understand why Twilight was freaking out earlier; I believe the reason why Twilight had to depart to go prepare so early was that it took around thirty minutes for my daughter to do her touch-up in the bathroom.

I muttered Homer Simpson's famous catchphrase as I punishingly slapped my forehead for not remembering that girls have to devote their time longer than guys do in getting prepared.

That and they're ponies.  Can't bring myself to imagine how much of a hassle it is using hooves to groom oneself.  At least Twilight wouldn't have a problem with that, though...  But a non-unicorn pony?  That's tough.

I was patient enough waiting for my daughter to finish her business, standing next to the cottage's open front door, all dressed neatly in my suit and pants and fedora.

I started hearing the sound of hoofsteps rushing down the stairs.  It was my daughter, who appeared panicked.  She was quickly trotting up to me.

"I'm sorry, Father!" she shouted.  It wasn't much of a shout, actually.  It was more along the line of talking loud in a graceful way.

"Don't worry about it," I pardoned, slowly walking outside with a hand gripping the door's handle at the ready.  "If we hurry a little, I'm sure we can recover the lost amount of time."

Fluttershy slowed once she passed the threshold.  She signalled me with a quick nod.  I nodded at her signal and closed the door.  At last, we were beginning our path to Ponyville, where we were expected to meet Twilight and a carriage that would be awaiting for us.

Oh, right; I totally forgot to mention the part in Twilight's plans that we were to rendezvous at the Golden Oaks Library where a carriage would be waiting to take us to Canterlot.  It didn't cross my mind until this recently.

We have almost arrived at our destination, although we had to quicken our pace from time to time.  And I immediately regretted wearing the color black.  The answer is simple; add the unadulterated heat of the summer sun, plus the trip walking to Ponyville, plus the clothes' color absorbing the aforementioned heat equals...

'My God, I'm gonna have two fried nuggets in my pants by the end of the day.'  I was panting with a tongue lolling out of my mouth.  I swear I could feel a stream of sweat running down the back of my left leg.  My pits were in no better condition, either.  I had to find some sort of shade otherwise my suit was going to be ruined.

Fluttershy merrily trotted along beside me, unaffected by this god-forsaken heat.  I reckoned that ponies here were used to these intense temperatures.

Fluttershy was evidently moving ahead of me while I was losing stamina at a dangerous rate.  My feet felt like lead, as if I was wearing iron boots given I've been dragging than walking.  Whole figure slumped, both shoulders sagged and arms hanging limply near to the ground, I panted heavily as I tried my best keeping up.

But I miserably failed.

I ended up falling forward, my chin hitting the ground first, and grunted in a dry, hoarse voice, "I don't think I can make it, my dear Shy!"

My daughter stopped for a moment and turned halfway.  "But, Dad-"

"The heat!  It's unbearable!" I croaked.  "Go, my dear Shy!  Go on without me!"

"But, Dad," Fluttershy repeated, "we're here..."  She slowly lifted a pointing hoof at the Golden Oaks Library several feet ahead, and there outside in front of the treehouse with confused stares were Twilight Sparkle and a duo of well attired stallions, all standing beside an ornate white carriage and wooden wheels trimmed with gold.

One of the stallions had a dullish-grey coat, a black mane and tail and had yellow eyes.  The second stallion had the same mane as the first stallion's, but his coat was chocolate-brown and had cobalt-colored eyes instead.

Each of them, save Fluttershy, were looking at me bemusedly.  Red my face was from the scorching heat, my cheeks flushed in an even darker red as I fumbled trying to get back up.

On my feet, I brushed the dusty dirt off of me, stood upright with one arm behind my back, bowed, and spoke articulately as I could, "Evening, Twilight.  Evening, gentlecolts."  I faked a lavish smile and doffed my hat for further impressions, but the two stallions still had their brows aloft in bewilderment.  I suggested it's about my presence and not my embarrassing display back there.

There was an awkward silence between the three of us, that was until Twilight cleared her throat to prevent any future awkwardness than there could've been.

"So glad you two could make it," Twilight said cheerfully.  "And only one minute, point twenty-three seconds late."

And the stallions were still staring...

"I'm terribly sorry for that," Fluttershy said guiltily.  "I was in the bathroom getting ready and I wasn't aware how long I was in there.  My Father and I left and we hurried quickly as possible."

And they're still staring...  Really starting to get old and aggravating.

Twilight waved a dismissive hoof, smiling brightly.  "No trouble at all!" Twilight said.  "We do have a couple of extra minutes to spare, so we can compensate by taking the carriage right away."

I broke from my staring contest with the unsettled stallions and looked at Twilight excitedly.  "Great!" I cheered, putting my fedora back on my head.  The faster we get these punks out of my face, the better.  "Let's get this thing rolling."

The two speechless stallions continued fixing me with that dumb stare of theirs.  My left eye twitched annoyingly.

"Um..." Fluttershy coughed nervously at my twitch, "yes, let's get to it."  Fluttershy poked me on my thigh.  "Father?"

I stared down at my daughter, shaking off my aggravation.  "Right, right.  Sorry."

With that said, Twilight and Fluttershy were the first to hop inside the carriage.  I was the last, but not before I gave the two stallions another daggering glare.

They nervously gulped, sweating bullets as they dutifully geared up in their harnesses in matter of seconds.

Got to say, this vehicle was mainly designed for ponies; getting in required me to bend down almost halfway, and I took up one whole side of the carriage.  Thankfully Twilight and Fluttershy were able to share the other side just comfortably fine.

The entire carriage lurched forward once the stallions began their pulling.  I barely heard them mumbling something offensive that I wouldn't like to repeat, knowing it involved me.  I shrugged... for now, anyway.

I had a leg folded over my thigh, as it was slightly cramp inside the carriage.  I'm relieved all I had to do was keep my head down with my chin on my chest.  Well, relieved as in I didn't have to stay bent during the whole ride.  My neck's already aching the first minute of our road trip.

"Oh, this is so exhilarating," Fluttershy said conversationally.  "My best friend is going to be crowned as an official princess."

"Mhmm," Twilight genially hummed at my daughter's comment.  Twilight looked to me inquisitively.  "What do you think, Rick?"

I made a short grunt before replying, "I think it's, hng, great."

Trust me, the discomfort was only the least of my worries.  My major concern was what I was going to do at the buffet; I know Twilight and I had already compromised what I was going to do, but what am I to do when I run out of nice things to talk about?

We ran across a small bump, which caused me to knock my head on the top of the carriage.  I winced with a hiss, rubbing the new sore spot.

Both Fluttershy and Twilight noticed this.

"You okay, Father?" Fluttershy asked, curiously worried.

"It's fine, my dear Shy.  Just a tiny bonk on the head.  No big deal," I insistantly replied.  I shifted a bit to get rid of the numbness in my ass.  "It's just sitting like this isn't... comfortable."

"I do apologize, Rick," Twilight said, "this was the only biggest one they have."

"Like I said, it's no big deal," I lied.  I didn't want neither my new girlfriend and-slash-or my daughter to worry over something trivial.  Reassured, the mares resumed their chit chat, though I could hear the two stallions indistinct sniggering amongst the girls' conversation.  I growled inwardly, suspicious that the bump was nothing but intended.

Prologue

Log One - Prologue

Earth.

     A planet where I was born on; a malevolent planet where I spent several of my miserable years secluded in a faraway house from everybody including my foster parents; a planet... I once called home.  Why was it once called my home?  Well, sit awhile for those who find this diary, and prepare yourselves for the unbelievable tale that lie within this diary.  A tale about my new life in a distant universe.  My life... in Equestria.

     It had been a whole month since my arrival here in Equestria, a quaint yet peaceful universe inhabited by talking, techni-colored ponies whose culture can be almost comparing to ours.  When I used to be a child, I always believed that there were many different worlds out there other than ours.  Apparently I was right, and never had I thought out of every one of them I would end up on this one.  But it was for a personal cause.  The main reason I'm here; the whole purpose I abandoned Earth for, was because of a certain pegasus.  A butter-colored, pink maned pegasus to be exact.  Her name was known as Fluttershy, my adopted and beloved daughter I raised on Earth.  If it weren't for her, my life wouldn't have turned so different; I would never have learned the passions of love... and kindness.

     However, now that I'm living in Equestria, things were going to be different; a world full of herbivorous creatures, it'd be most likely that I won't find any meat in town to buy.  What I had to do, granted by Fluttershy's blessing, despite how grotesque she believed it was, was catch fish just by using a thick stick carved as a spear with a rope tied at the end of it at a spot several miles from the cottage.  It would take an hour walking to and another hour back from the path I chose, located on Equestria's Map.

     Following the course of the river (directly above Everfree Forest) flowing to the right would lead to a lake right of Ponyville, was where I would fish at.  The first time I brought my food back home, cooking and eating it, Fluttershy wasn't... well seeing someone consuming an innocent creature that had done nothing wrong in its entire life.  So from that point I had to bring along twigs and some flint to cook where I catch.

     Continuing on.  Without my own home to live under, Fluttershy heavily insisted I should stay in her house until Celestia can receive an approval with the royal council to have the ponies build a house for me.  About the residents of Ponyville; the first time I was seen in their town, their reactions were a bit... hysterical.  Least to say.  Multiple reasons: they accused me being an alien, and they were afraid because of that.  The other reasons; some of them claimed me as some sort of monster, or an animal due to my similarity of an ape.  Celestia had to explain to her subjects that I posed no threat and any harm to them.  While a few abide their ruler's trusting words, others still remain wary whenever I'm around.  I wouldn't blame them.  I'm sure my world would react the same way if an alien was discovered.  Whether it'd be a cartoon pony or whatever.

     Anyway, Fluttershy begged for me to come live with her.  And much as I didn't want to impose, I couldn't turn down those beautiful, piercing blue eyes of hers.  It was every time I saw them I would remind myself of the timid filly I had raised on Earth, and I'd then perk up a gentle smile and pull her in for a hug.

     Funnily enough, her friends; Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike, never knew all about Fluttershy on my world.  Heck, I had to tell them the story of my years raising her.  While we were surprised why Celestia, especially Twilight, hadn't explained to everyone how Fluttershy ended on Earth in the first place, we decided things were probably better left unsaid.  Whatever the teacher and her student wanted to hide, we'll gladly respect the two the reason of their privacy.  Still, the unanswered thoughts will continue to buzz around inside the back of our heads.

     With that, I will stop writing here for tonight.

     Here I sat on a little wooden chair in front of a brown desk table, both not fitted for my ginormous size, for what could have been countless hours in the middle of the night.  To my right on the table was a tiny, half-full ink bottle, and pinched between my right hand's index finger and thumb was the quill to dip it in with.  To my left was a golden candlestick.  A small speck of flame whose round, burning aura lit up little of the environment, casting shadows behind any solid object, including myself.  I lightly pushed myself away from the table as I stretched while letting out a hearty yawn.

     "Whew," I softly whistled in relief, quiet enough so I wouldn't disturb Fluttershy since she was sleeping upstairs in her bedroom.  "Guess I should also hit the hay." I then lightly chuckled to myself from that last, humorous remark.  Closing the journal's cover, and dipping the quill back into its ink bottle, I quietly rose up from the chair and grabbed the candlestick and made way through the darkness from downstairs to upstairs.  I crept; tiptoeing with my heels raised and my weight on the balls of my feet with each careful step.  The hardware floor of the stairs gave in as they creaked under the pressure of my weight, but not loud enough to wake Fluttershy's creatures from their sleep.

     I reached the top of the stairway and approached her bedroom door with even more caution.  Opening the door slowly, I peeked in and saw the pegasus sleeping peacefully underneath her beds' sheets and covers sowed with shapes of butterflies.  I stood for a minute admiring the precious scenery.  She was so content, so peaceful.  Squinting harder, I noticed she had her olive-colored blanket held tightly in her hooves.  It was her very first gift she received from me.  I'm grateful I brought it with me.  The sentimental value of it was what triggered her hidden memories. I can't explain it in full but it had to do with the fact that the magic protected it from losing its own memory.  To say objects have their own memory was ludicrous, but I believed the theory to be possible; say you would be a child who had an action figure that you loved to death and would never part with.  You see, as you grow up you would have probably forgotten everything about the treasured possession.  At a point you come across it again, something in your head triggers and you'll think back the fun times you had with it.

     Again, I can't fully explain it, but when Celestia sent the blanket back with me it still carried all the memories of Fluttershy and I, along with the feather that was tucked in there.

     Coming back to reality from reminiscing, I shook my head and proceeded inward and closed the bedroom door behind me.  I blew the candle out and placed it on a shelf, and went to lie down on the sleeping bag Fluttershy kindly had set out for me next to her bed.  For a while I stared at the ceiling above me, contemplating if tomorrow will actually be the day Celestia will have that house permit....

     Slowly, my eyelids closed as I fell into a quiet slumber.  Hopefully tomorrow... my life will begin; my life... in Equestria.

Chapter Six

Extra Log #2 - Part One

"Never say what you mean, all I hear is a scream!"

     The abrupt, jarring sound of my alarm clock radio disrupted me from my peaceful slumber.  I immediately sat up, with eyes cracked wide open, out of startlement and looked from left to right frantically.  Teeth gritting, my fragile eyes winced from the harmful glares of the sun slitting through the bedroom window blinds.  I promptly shielded them with a right forearm.

     The radio resting on my small white dresser resumed blaring the song, "Never say that to me!  Never say that to me!  Wipe that SHIT off your face!  Let's not stop till we bleed!  The more you spit out your mouth the less I believe!"

     "Denial, seems it had to come...  Relied on me to say it all!  Denial has LEFT YOU ALL ALONE-"

     I bellowed angrily at the noisy clock, "That's enough!", before hammering my solid fist down onto it repeatedly until bits started flying off.  The obnoxious music finally quelled as silence filled the room once again, although the lyrics continued lingering inside my head like a song left on auto-loop.  "I don't even like Sevendust!" I grumbled under my breath, knowing which band the song belonged to.

     Stretching the stiffness out of my arms, I lousily tossed the comforters aside and made haste to the lavatory with an intention of 'bleeding the lizard'.  After I had relieved my kidneys, I stood before the sink and raised the single lever upward straightly.  A perpetual stream of water gushed out from the faucet as I slowly stuck a right hand in to determine its temperature.  Not too hot.  Not too cold.  It was perfect.  Nudging the lever over to the left a little, I felt the rushing water suddenly become slightly warmer.  Satisfied with this tolerable degree, I let go of the lever and began lathering both tainted hands with orange-scented liquid soap.

     After accomplishing the first step of my morning ritual, I moved on to the next one: brushing my teeth.  I closed my eyes and let out a tedious yawn while rummaging the cabinet for toothpaste.  Grabbing the said product, I then grabbed the toothbrush.  The white, plastic dental tool looked dull from years of usage; a couple of its bristles were missing and some pointed in several directions.  Regardless, it was still usable, and I didn't want to burden myself buying a new one just yet.  I always preferred making my money's worth by using them until they'd become obsolete.

     With step two completed, it was time for me to take a shower and get dressed for work.  All of a sudden my pupils shrank to the size of pins as realization struck me fast like lightning.

     "Is this my old home...?" I whispered to myself.  Sure enough it was; same old white carpet, same old bed I slept and awoke on, same old (abused) alarm clock, and same old bathroom.  I didn't know what was going on.  The last thing I remembered was that I told Fluttershy I was going to write an entry in my journal before going to bed.  Then it struck me.  Either it was a trick by a certain draconequus or a dream.  I (obviously) picked the former.  "I swear, if this is some kind of prank, Discord, I sure as hell ain't laughin'."

     I figured this could had been a part of his shenanigans.  Discord and I had this "bond" where our friendship revolved around pranking ourselves or others, and frankly that's how it's kinda been since we met.  He could pull unexpected stunts mortals like myself couldn't, but there were times I'd catch him off guard.  And knowing him, he'd be the kind of jerk behind the whole gag.

     Given the silent treatment I had been receiving, I was growing more anxious.  "Okay.  Seriously.  You got me, now come out." I submitted to the God of Chaos in question.

     Normally Discord would make a random entry whenever he was called out.  Yet he didn't show up.  It then occurred to me that it wasn't a prank.  I mused on the last and only option: it had to be a dream.  Confirming that it was, I indulged myself in a state of meditation; an attempt to create a mental image that could be brought to life.  Eyelids shut tight, brows heavily narrowed, I rubbed my temples pouring every ounce of my concentration on something simple: a cup full of chocolate milk.

     Out of nowhere, breaking my chain of focus, a feminine voice echoed from the living room.

     She chortled hysterically, "Ahahaha!  This entertainment, it amuses us!"

     "Us?" I questioned, musing the 'third-person' remark.

Chapter Eighteen

Log Thirteen - Chapter Twelve

Alright, son.  I want you to take this revolver and shoot that target there pinned on the tree.

Bullseye!  And on your first try, too.

Wow!  Another three shots dead in the center!  You seem to have a natural talent for this.

Now let me go grab the target so we can-

*BANG*

The loud bang of a shutting door startled me wide awake.  I sat up, forehead and palms drenched in sweat, chest inflating in and out, heart thumping in an eccentric beat, and frantically looked about the empty bedroom, scanning the spacious area with ligneous furniture hugging the walls, vintage tapestry adorning shapes of butterflies sprawled across the sturdy wooden floor and a couple bird feeders hanging on the ceiling above.  Suddenly I felt the brisk warmth of sunlight from the window kissing the back of my neck.

My pulse and panting lessened as I laid back onto the bed's headboard, comprehending that I had awakened from a malicious nightmare.

I won't bother interpreting what it could have meant, nor will I explain what it was about.  Whatever's been done has been done, as quoted by Discord which I personally took the locution to heart.

Wiping away beads of sweat across my forehead, I gingerly swung my legs to the side and made a beeline to the bedroom door.  My stomach loudly protested just as I grabbed the door's handle as a crude reminder that I hadn't eaten anything at all yesterday.  It growled a consecutive number of times, as if it was complaining.

"There, there, buddy," I said, lightly patting my stomach.  "I know you're cranky 'n' all but remember that today's the day where we can chow down until we explode, so hang in there for a little longer."  Like with a mind of its own, my belly complied with a short rumble.

I resumed pulling the bedroom door and headed for the bathroom straight across the upstairs hallway.  Here's something I've learned...

So it occurred to me the ponies in Equestria do in fact have bladders, and the funny thing is is their toilets are what you'd call 'squat toilets' which are very parallel to those in Japan.  No urinals.  No standard.  Just...  Squat toilets.  That would make sense considering they're ponies without hands (now I can't help but visualize how'd they'd do it with their hooves).  However for me it's an uncomfortable position -- not to mention quite awkward -- let me tell you.

Anyway.  I mosied on over to the lavatory but halted my advance when I overheard Fluttershy talking to someone downstairs.

"Oh I don't know, Twilight.  Father is usually cranky when he doesn't get enough sleep," said Fluttershy warningly.

'Great...  Twilight's here.  I'm assuming she wants to talk to me about something?' I questioned in thought.

Then I heard Twilight reply, albeit slightly exclamative, "But he needs to be up and ready!  We've only got an approximation of three hours before the coronation; we've already got Pinkie Pie and Applejack handling the pastries and party designs.  Rainbow Dash is still at her home doing Celestia-knows-what.  Rarity's busy finishing the gowns she's been making since last night.  And I need you to gather up some doves."

"Doves?" quizzed Fluttershy.

"Rock doves for releasing, specifically speaking," restated Twilight.  "And I need to discuss things with Rick; if I want this ceremony to be perfect, it is absolutely, vitally, crucially -- any synonym related to vital -- important that I speak with him right this minute."

I remained standing at the top of the stairs in silence, arching an intrigued brow as I stroked my stubble.  Forget the bathroom.  I'm rather curious what it was Twilight sought me for.

"What exactly do you need to talk to him for?  ...if you don't mind me asking?  I mean, it's okay if you don't want to," said Fluttershy timidly.

'Pray to God not anything to do with what we've talked about last week; been bad enough we've conversed about copulation between different species like a donkey and pony, or a zebra and dragon.  I'm still appalled upon the known fact they approve these intimacies.'

Twilight sighed aloud.  "I really mean no offense, Fluttershy," she began, "Rick's a nice guy when he wants to be, but, he's...  Um."  Twilight held her tongue there for a moment.  "Objectionable?"

'I really don't know what that means, but it sounds bad judging how she dragged on that word, voice slightly cracked 'n' all.'

"Not that I mean it that way, really!" Twilight quickly added, reluctance sketched in her tone.  "It's just based on your stories about his habits and personality that I'm worried he'll ruin everything."

'Can't blame you there, Einstein.'

"I'm sure he wouldn't," said Fluttershy reassuringly.  "Sure he can be a bit mischievous here and there, but, I'm one-hundred-percent certain my father will be on his best behavior.  Especially on one of the most important days of your life."

'That's my girl.'

"Oh I'm also certain of that, don't get me wrong, but I want to go over a few things with him first before we set out.  With that said, would you mind bringing him down here for me please?" said Twilight.

"She doesn't need to."  Twilight and Fluttershy pinpointed their sight toward me as I descended the stairs.  The two ponies were seated on the green couch in front of the table.  On the table there was a tea set sitting on a silver platter; one cup full of steaming hot tea sat next to the kettle while the other was levitated by Twilight's purple magic.

"Rick!" Twilight gasped in surprise.  She settled the tea cup atop the platter.  "How long have you-"

"Long enough," I curtly replied.

"Even-"

"Even that 'Objectionable' bit," I interrupted again.  "No worries.  I've been called names worse than that.  In fact it sounds more of a compliment than anything."  The lavender alicorn's cheeks reddened with pink upon that statement.  Personally, I would engage her a question about what objectionable really means, but it wasn't worth squabbling over some word that I don't know.  I fully stood at the bottom of the stairs, arm resting on the newel.  "So, what is it that you want to talk about?"

Twilight lightly shook her head to regain her composure.  "Oh, right!  Actually, if it's not too much trouble, do you mind if we—" she nervously cleared her throat "—talk privately?"  She asked.  It didn't sound like a question but more of a plead.

I looked at Fluttershy who didn't utter a single breath, yet furtively nodded in gesture and motioned with her eyes to the front door.  I directed my gaze back to Twilight.  "Uh... sure."  I answered, hesitantly.

The alicorn beamed a relieving smile.  "Excellent!"  She chirped.  She got off the couch and ushered me to the front door.  Before we continued on, I reminded myself of the door's hinges.  They were fixed and not broken, oddly enough.  While I was puzzled by this, my contemplative musing was cut off when I remembered why I was going outside in the first place.  Twilight and I stopped at the bridge, whereas Fluttershy kindly closed the door so she wouldn't overhear what her alicorn friend had to say.

At the center of the bridge, I folded my arms and started, "Alright, we're outside now.  What is it you want to talk to me about?"

The alicorn took her sweet time to gather her thoughts - from what I could tell by her brushing the back of her neck with a hoof.  Her knees were slightly shaking for some bizarre reason.  Her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

"Rick, I want to ask you something I should've asked so long ago, but I want to explain a few things prior..."