Eye of the Storm

by Felidae0

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Romance, Adventure
Length: 15587

Sequel to Clockwork Moon, and Second in the series. Luna and Tinkertoy look for the pony who masterminded the attempted assassination.

Revenge is a strong motivator. Justice for those we love even more so.
Luna has been attacked, and Tinkertoy is not going to rest until he brings whoever is behind it to justice. Their search brings them to Cloudsdale, and air pirates. What could go wrong?
Second in the series, taking place immediately after the eponymous Clockwork Moon.
Incidentally...

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-16 06:33:13 UTC

Clear the Old...

Eye of the Storm (1)

There were some faint hoofsteps, but they stopped almost as soon as they became audible.

“Ah, here we are. My workshop.”

“…You do know the sign’s misspelled, right?”

“That’s on purpose!” The doorknob rattled, before the key clicked in the lock.

“Riiight. Whatever you say.” The door opened.

“No, really! It’s meant to look foreign and interesting! Intelligent! Catch the eye, you know?”

“It’s interesting, all right.” An Earth Pony Stallion stepped inside, his frame silhouetted in the doorway. “Oi! There’s no call for that! Wait… I didn’t turn the lights off…” He reached to the left of the door, into the shadows that permeated the inside of the building. His hoof glinted, a metal rod reflecting in the early morning sun. It was strapped to, and led down, his forehoof, leading down to a mechanical hand and back up to a metal box on his back. There was a click, and the inside of the warehouse was filled with light.

In the new light, his brown-coloured fur was revealed, as was a crop of messy orange hair. He entered, looking around with an air of confusion as the voice that he had been arguing with entered behind him. It belonged to a magenta Unicorn mare, whose hair was a similar shade with a pinkish stripe slicing through the center and down to the end. A small male baby Dragon rode on her back, excitedly looking around the warehouse. Finally, a deep-blue Alicorn mare followed them in, shutting the door behind them with a cerulean wave of magic.

“Nor did I close the door when I left. Maybe Niles did it…?”

“Is it always such a mess in here?”

“What… Are you always so critical? I’m busy, I don’t always have time to…to…” He trailed off, looking around the massive room once more, only now taking in the state of disarray it was in. It looked rather like a certain god of Chaos had been let loose.

“Huh… I mean, it’s a bit of a mess, but never… This bad!” To describe it as a shambles really wouldn’t do the mess justice. Just from a cursory glance, he could see that everything not nailed down had been stolen, and some things that had been nailed down were as well. Despite those having been most of the clutter originally, it was still a mess, as presumably that the same somepony who had taken it had scattered the contents of the file cabinets in the corner across the warehouse, creating a carpet of paper between the tables and workbenches. The papers themselves, he realized with a start, were his mail, his various documents, and what seemed to be any pieces of paper one could find in and around the warehouse. Thankfully, he didn’t see any of his blueprints in the piles.

The afore-mentioned file cabinets themselves had been overturned, seemingly just for the hay of it, as had several long workbenches. At the back, the firing range had been knocked over, the sheet-metal walls now resting on the floor as well as the bulls-eye. The blue Alicorn stood next to the Earth  Pony, concern in her eyes as his glazed over. “Tinkertoy? Art thou well?”

“I… My work… My life… I lived here, who would just…? Luna, all of my…my…Stuff, it’s just… Gone!” The Unicorn turned to the Dragon on her back. “Spike, dig through this, see if you can find anything important.” He had been sniffing the air, and only realized a second later she’d been talking to him. “Huh? Oh! Gotcha, Twilight.” He leapt off and began shuffling the piles about.

Tinkertoy seemed to snap out of his distraught trance, and leapt onto one of the tables, taking a much more thorough inventory. “Seriously? They took the RADIO? Who does that?!” Luna flapped her wings and landed next to him. “Thy culprits seem to have absconded with thy tools as well. Who hast done such a thing?”

“You… Really designed an electric pen?” They quickly descended into an argument, triggered by Twilight’s condescension, Tinkertoy’s defense of his life, and Luna trying to find some middle ground.

“Guys?”

Twilight pulled a book from the floor, a scrapbook of various inventions. Most of the latter half of the book seemed to be a picture taken every day of some form of Automobile. “Look at this! Who would want to ride in something this dangerous, or something that stupid-looking, for that matter?”

“How dare you! I’ll have you know that the Gasoline Automobile is perfectly safe, and the only reason it looks like that, for function, mind you, not for beauty, is because I haven’t built the outer skin for it!”

“I’m sure.”

“Guys? Hello?”

Luna began digging through a scattered pile of jars, which all seemed to have escaped unbroken. She pushed an empty one labeled “Clockwork Virus” out of the way, pulling out another that seemed to hold an organ of some sort, suspended in a clear liquid. Suddenly, a slit opened against the jar, facing her, revealing an orange, cat-like eye. Luna yelped before dropping the jar, only barely being able to catch it with her magic before it hit the floor.

“Luna! Is something wrong?” Instantly, Tinkertoy was by her, taking the jar with his metal hands. “Wait, is this… Ha! The fools left Sparky!”

“Sparky? Thou named this abomination Sparky?” Tinkertoy brought the jar to his snout, and began nuzzling it lovingly. “Yep. He was part of this idea I had this one time. It boiled down to organic engines, and Sparky was my first attempt.”

“Ah…”

“Backfired miserably. On the plus side, I got a pet-slash-friend that I only had to feed a minute amount of electricity. He’s incredibly adaptable, and he even shaped himself so that he could feed off-“

“GUYS!”

The shout instantly drew all attention to Spike. “Does anypony else smell Kerosene?” Twilight sniffed the air. “Now that you mention it… Yes, yes I do. How did you smell that?”

Spike looked flattered for a moment, before he began. “Well, you kinda get trained to notice flammable stuff when you can breathe fire…” He trailed off. “Why IS there Kerosene in here?”

“It’s not supposed to be. I don’t use Kerosene in my workshop, not even for lanterns. Too flammable.” Tinkertoy gently set the jar back down, and sniffed the floor. Behind him, Luna bent down for a closer look at the jar. A tentacle waved at her from inside the jar, seemingly happy.

Tinkertoy bent down, and pulled the paper below his hooves wide, exposing the bare floor. It was absolutely soaked in Kerosene, the stench of the flammable liquid wrinkling their noses in disgust.

“What…?” He was interrupted by the balcony door on the second floor opening wide. The sound of arguing entered first.

“See! Diamond dog tell you not on fire! Ignatious never lie, just forget!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…”

“It not Ignatious’s fault if partner is birdbrain! Literally! Damned Gryphon chase pigeon!”

“Hey.”

There was a long pause.

“…I caught that pigeon.” The Gryphon in question stepped through the door, his grimy grey feathers rustling in surprise. “Uh…”

“What, stupid bird?” A blue Diamond Dog entered after him, looking about in surprise as he remembered he’d shut the lights off. They both looked down, and saw four pairs of eyes (And one spare) were looking at them in surprise. Consisting of the owner of the warehouse, a famous Unicorn, her baby Dragon, and the Princess of the night herself. Tinkertoy reflected that he may have suddenly started meeting much more powerful ponies thus far, seemingly without reason and without much warning.

Behind the pair above, metaphorical bricks dropped. The Diamond Dog leaned over and hissed out of the corner of his mouth, “Does Jeff have plan?” The Gryphon leaned over as well. “That depends. Do you still have that Molotov?”

“Ignatious drink.”

“Then no.” His eyes darted downward, just as Luna shook off the initial surprise. “What right hast thou to cause such disarray!? I demand thou surrender thineselves-“ She was interrupted by the Gryphon reaching behind him and drawing a long, mechanical compound bow, which he speedily notched with an arrow.

Tinkertoy was between them and Luna before anypony could even blink, but the Gryphon had a different target. He pulled the string back, and loosed the arrow into the warehouse’s fusebox, which exploded in a brilliant shower of sparks, killing the lights as it did so. The shower of flash-melted metal reached the Kerosene below, and it snapped into flame in an instant, the sudden blaze spreading quickly across the Kerosene-soaked carpet of paper.

“OUTOUTOUT!” Yelled Twilight, yanking Spike back onto her back and disappearing in a bright snap of magical energy. The teleportation tore a sizable hole in the roof, presumably as Twilight moved faster than physically possible via magic. Bright sunlight from the hole quickly replaced the darkness of the workshop, which had only been illuminated by the flames. Tinkertoy pulled Luna away from the balcony, and out of the sunlight, as flames began to lick up the walls, and they both began running towards the door. They slammed it open, the bright sunlight replacing the fire-lit interior before they collapsed onto the sidewalk. Tinkertoy looked up just fast enough to catch Twilight snapping back into existence before she careened into a nearby wall, catapulting Spike off said wall, and back towards them. Twilight slowly took a few steps backward, eyes rolling in her head as she began trying to speak.

“Got out… Tried to teleport to police station… Forgot where police station was… Couldn’t teleport to the palace, too far… End up as a purple smear… Teleported back…” Her eyes righted themselves, and her horn glowed. “Can probably put it out myself… Maybe Clover the Clever’s Spring Shower? Or Stonehoof’s inland wave? Maybe- shut up, voices! That’s not helping right now! No, maybe an instant condensation spell?”

“But… my work… My life…” She turned, her eyes glowing with power. “You too! SHUT UP! I can hardly hear myself think!” Tinkertoy was instantly silenced. She wasn’t listening. Ah well. Really, it’s not like he had anything important. It’d all been taken already. What was left was hardly worth saving. Certainly nothing living-

“SPARKY!” He shouted, leaping back at the door. It had closed shut after them, and smoke was curling out from underneath it. He grabbed the handle, but was yanked away by a blue glow of magic. He instantly felt nauseous. He pulled the handle out with him, and the door opened into a gout of flame, which burst outward. Had Luna not grabbed him, he would have been roasted. She dropped him back on the ground, where Luna stood next to him, making sure he was okay. He was, but from his perspective, everything was sideways.

“Seriously? That abomination in the jar? You want to go back into that,” Twilight said, motioning her hoof at the steadily burning building. “To get a squid?”

“’Tis a living creature, Twilight Sparkle. Doth Sparky not have a right to live?” Luna pulled Tinkertoy back to his feet, but his knees buckled again. She caught him with her wing, and held him close with it to keep him standing.

“And… And he’s not an abomination… He’s a sentient being, just like you or I… Well, semi-sentient… Sort of… It’s complicated…”

Spike hopped off Twilight’s back, and walked up to Tinkertoy, whose head was still visibly sagging towards the ground. His eyes moved up to look at Spike at more-or-less the same height. “The thing in the jar, right? With the eye? I’ll get it.” He began to move towards the door, but Twilight stepped in front of him. “Spike, what in Tartarus do you think you’re doing? You’ll get burned!”

Spike just pushed past her hoof. “Relax, Twilight. Fireproof, remember? I’ll be right back.” He paused one last time at the door, after pushing it open. “It’s in the pile of jars next to that giant typewriter, isn’t it?” Tinkertoy nodded, and Spike turned before walking into the burning building with his distinct waddle. Twilight turned to Tinkertoy. “If he gets a single scorch…”

She was interrupted by the sound of rapid hoofsteps down the street, towards them. Above, a squadron of Pegasi blew overhead, circling back with a leftover raincloud. Two stayed to buck the cloud into releasing the water inside, while the rest scattered to get more. Back down on the street, a beet red Unicorn wearing a fireproof coat and a firepony’s hat came around the corner of a nearby warehouse, leading a small group of similarly-dressed Unicorns and Earth Ponies to the burning building. “Hey! What happened?”

The fact that he was asking Princess Luna never really registered. He had a job to do, and he listened intently. “’Twas started by saboteurs, arsonists, in order to cover the tracks of a royal assassination attempt. A Diamond Dog and a Gryphon. Thy names wert Ignatious and Jeff. Tell thy Pegasi to ‘Keep their eyes peeled’, as it were.” The Unicorn nodded, and an orange glow surrounded a communication crystal attached to the lapel of his coat.

“Waterhorn one to all Waterwings, be advised. Witnesses say Arson. Culprits are a Squawker and a Rockdog. They may be armed, so watch your plots.” Behind him, a cyan Earth Pony yelled “Bow-chicka-bow-wow!” “Can it, Hot!” The Firepony spat. He glanced back at the crystal. “Somepony else get a line out to the guard, tell them we have Luna and Arson out here.” He clicked it back off, and faint radio chatter along the lines of “Did he say Princess Luna?” could just barely be heard.

He turned back to the three, giving Tinkertoy an odd look. It was probably justified, as he was still being held up by Luna’s wing. “Now, I’m gonna need statements from all of-“

“OHCELESTIAGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFSWEETMERCIFUL-“ Spike burst out of the warehouse, his screams slightly muffled by a mass of tentacles wrapped around his head, tipped with small claws. The main part of it, or at least the center of mass, appeared to be attached to his left temple. A single, orange, catlike eye looked around wildly and settled on Tinkertoy. It pulled on the Dragon’s shoulder and started tugging him in their general direction.

“Spike?! Are you alright?! Is it hurting you?! Did you get burned?!” At Twilight’s last question, the eye moved up and down repeatedly. “Sparky!” Tinkertoy managed to find the strength to stand, and moved towards the two. “I’m so sorry, Sparky, I didn’t know they’d start the fire and-“

“GETITOFFYOUCRAZYBUCKER!!!” Spike was, of course, still underneath Sparky. “C’mere, Sparky! Come to Tinkertoy!” It chittered and began unwinding itself from Spike, before leaping off his head at Tinkertoy. As soon as it was clear, Twilight wrapped Spike in a hug, almost crushing him against the sidewalk. From underneath her, Spike’s eyes darted around until they locked back onto Sparky, who was now suckering itself onto Tinkertoy.

“That…Thing…Jumped out of nowhere at me! It clamped on and rode me back out of the warehouse!” He looked at his arm, which one of the tentacles had wrapped around for support. “I want to take a bath. For, like, a week. That just felt wrong…”

They all looked back at Tinkertoy, who had stopped listening and had begun nuzzling Sparky affectionately. It seemed the squid had settled, and Tinkertoy was now wearing him like a scarf made of tentacles, the suckers essentially gluing him into place for the moment. Most of the creature’s mass had settled in the crook between Tinkertoy’s neck and back, and the various tentacles had wrapped around his barrel and extremities to get a grip.

Tinkertoy was completely unaffected by this.

“Awww, who’s a good Sparky? You are! Because you’re the only Sparky! You’re irreplaceable, don’t you worry! Yes you are! Now, did somepony disconnect you while I was gone? Poor little squiddy, you must’ve been starved and I bet you couldn’t get past Spike’s scales! Go ahead, little guy, take all you need!” He nuzzled it again, and it chittered, extending two more tentacles. These were smaller and sharp at the ends, and the creature quickly and carefully poked them into Tinkertoy’s back, connecting into his spine. Tinkertoy jumped a little at the prick, but it only lasted a moment. The smaller tentacles glowed slightly as it began feeding, a barely-visible orange glow spreading across them.

“What,” Asked Twilight, coldly and carefully. “Is it doing?” Tinkertoy turned to her. Behind him, Luna leaned in closer to look at Sparky, a small smile betraying her interest. “HE is feeding off my body’s excess electricity. That’s how he gets nutrition, by drinking tap water, and then electrolyzing it into oxygen, hydrogen, and whatever else was in the tap water. Which, incidentally, is how he breathes. The hydrogen is released, and I was planning on jury-rigging my internal combustion engine to use it as a fuel. Hence why the fire freaked him out, and in his panic, attempted to… ‘couple’ with Spike there. He was beginning to run out of both.”

Spike blinked, before he shrank back towards Twilight. “C… Couple? …Ew…”

“Not like that! He’s a symbiotic creature! I feed him, and he helps me with my experiments. He has proven himself an able assistant, and I count him among my friends, if not one of my best.”

“Sounds more like a parasite. Any side effects? Should I be even more concerned for Spike?”

“Of course not. Had he succeeded, the only noticeable effects would be that both be quite a bit calmer. It seems, however, that Dragon scales are solid enough to resist Sparky’s plugs.” Luna gently poked one of Sparky’s loose tentacles with her hoof. It lifted, curled, and slowly extended towards her hoof. When she didn’t recoil instantly at the contact, it reached out again. Luna allowed it to probe along her forehoof, and she leaned in close. It followed her leg up to the shoulder, and continued to her muzzle. She let it feel along, memorizing her face, and exploring through the medium of touch.

She looked back at where it had injected Tinkertoy. “Doth… Doth that hurt?”

“Only at first, when he starts. He’d be a terrible symbiote if he caused constant pain. Instead, he creates and releases a chemical that dulls said pain, and coagulates the blood.”

“Curious…” The tentacles finished their investigation, and gently patted Luna’s head. “Good, Sparky. Nice and calm. Everything is fine. This is Luna. Luna, you’re in luck. He likes you!” Luna smiled, and reached her hoof back out, pausing just before she touched him. “Go ahead. He likes being petted.” Now with permission, Luna began petting Sparky, eliciting a gentle purr from whatever auditory organs the Squid possessed.

At some point, the Firepony had left, likely to direct the Pegasi. He returned now, with several guards, the Firepony chief, Captain Shining Armor, and Princess Celestia herself. The Chief spoke first.

“Chief Firebreak. What’s this about arson?” Celestia simply stepped over him, looking directly at Luna as the Chief scooted out from beneath her. “Luna. You have not been outside the palace for an hour, and yet I am receiving reports of arson, attempted murder, and potential biohazards. Explain yourself, Sister.” Her gaze shifted to Tinkertoy, and the Squid hooked into his spine. “Ah. That would be the biohazard, then. Hold still, Smith. I would not want to blast you as well.”

Instantly, Tinkertoy turned to protect Sparky, yelling “Don’t!: in the process. At the same time, Luna leapt in front of them both, blocking Celestia’s spell. “Tia! Hold thine fire!” A shimmer that had building at the tip of Celestia’s horn dissipated. “Luna. You are making this far more complicated than it needs to be. ‘Twas a mistake to let this pony drag you out on this fool’s errand.” She looked past all three of them, to Twilight. “Perhaps you can shed some light on current events, my student. Please, tell me what has happened here, and why they are protecting that Parasite.”

Twilight levitated Spike onto her back, and confidently strode alongside Celestia. She cleared her throat. “Ahem. We stopped by Mr. Smith’s workshop to search for clues, lock up properly, and locate ‘useful’ devices.” She wiggled her hooves as she said “Useful”.

“We found that it had been broken into, and we arrived just prior to them actually lighting the fire. An unlucky coincidence, nothing more. The Squid seems to be an artificially created pet.”

“And he doth be harmless!” Luna added to the end. Celestia gave her with a glare that could slag glass. It softened quickly, but not much. “Lulu. Please don’t interrupt. Twilight was speaking.”

“Actually, I was more-or-less-“

“But she was-“

“Luna. Like that.” She glared at her once more. Twilight’s eyes darted from one to another, before she started again. “Er…anyway… The Gryphon started the fire. The Diamond Dog called him Jeff, and himself Ignatious. That’s about it.”

In the background, the combined efforts of the Pegasi in the air and the Unicorns on the ground had finally put out the fire, only smoke guttering out of less-soaked piles of rubble. The largest remaining column of smoke curled into the sky, a black streak on a perfect blue painting. Captain Armor stepped into the ruin of the building, pushing the more obstructive piles of debris aside. The charred remains stained his fetlocks, turning his white legs grey. He walked through the skeleton of the building, dodging a support beam as it snapped off what was left of the rooftop. Finally he reached the back, and found the melted fusebox.

“You said it was here?” The shout came from the back of the warehouse. Tinkertoy turned. Shining Armor was inspecting the source of the fire, and the arrow sticking out of it. “Yeah, that’s it. Power shut off when it got hit, so you should be alright.” The white stallion nodded, and wrapped a levitation field around the arrow. It came loose with just a couple of yanks and a squeak of metal, and he inspected it as he walked towards them.

The fletching had burned, but the smell of scorched Gryphon had easily replaced it. Hoof… Claw-made, so no manufacturer. He flipped it ninety degrees. The tip had blunted from the impact, but appeared to have been a solid-body metal arrow with no arrowhead. About half-way down the shaft, he spied several multi-coloured bands encircling the arrow. H idly pondered their purpose as he stepped out  of the burnt-out building.

“Here’s the arrow. Typical Gryphon design. He made it himself, using his own feathers. Means he’s a competent flier, and confidant enough to use his own feathers to guide his shots. Doesn’t really narrow it down, though. Every Gryphon is proud of their work.”

“Now, the bands here are interesting. I’ve seen them before in the armory, but I never got to learn what they meant. They’re used for tracking their kills among Gryphon mercenaries. Every one is different. Somepony pulls one of these out of an enemy, the Gryphon who uses these colours gets paid a bonus.” He held it out, so anypony could take it to explain. A cerulean glow shimmered around it as Luna took it and held it to her eyes.

“’Tis been not long enough since I have seen such weapons. I still recall their meaning, however, and-“ She was interrupted as the arrow was yanked out of her ethereal grasp, now surrounded by a magenta glow. “I was reading a book about the Gryphon military last week. I got this.”

Luna gaped at her. “But… But I was going to…” Twilight shot a glare at her. “Luna. It had diagrams. I got this.” She took a deep breath as Luna looked around, sputtering, for support. All eyes were on Twilight, save Tinkertoy’s.

“Let’s see. Four rings. In order of back to front, species, family, personal colours, and who he works for. Species is white with brown spots, or Gryphon. We knew that, and I’m getting sick of saying it. Family, purple and yellow, don’t know, don’t care. Personal colours are brown, red, and purple. Company colours are green and yellow, so we should be on the lookout for companies with those colours. Obviously.”

Celestia nodded. “Impressive, Twilight. I shall assist. I do not know the Gryphon families, but I do know what the personal colours mean. Brown means ‘Expert in ground combat’, and it’s a light brown, so at range. Red means warrior. Light red, so maybe ten kills at most. Finally, purple means he’s a scholar, specifically a history major. Which is a bit odd. However, I  don’t recall the company colours either. We can narrow those down, however.”

Twilight nodded, and the arrow floated back to the captain, changing to his dark pink as it did so. “We’ll keep checking out our ‘Airship’ lead. See you at six, Shiny?”

“You bet. Mom and Dad are looking forward to seeing you again, Sis!”

“Me too! I’ve got so much to tell them!” Gently, the conversation faded into background noise. Both Luna and Tinkertoy had tuned them out. Luna was still standing there, her mouth agape.

Twilight’s opinion was more important than hers.

Her mind darted back to the last year and a half.

When she had learned her Lunar guards had all but disbanded.

When nopony would speak to her. They were afraid.

A stark inability to do anything about it, because she no longer held any authority.

She was denied her spot on the council.

Learning that over the millennia she had been gone, she had been replaced by a procession of students, which were nothing but glorified goldfish.

Learning that everypony she had ever known before her banishment, save her sister, was now dead.

Learning that the latest goldfish had replaced her in her sister’s mind.

Tinkertoy saw her eyes glaze over, and he stood next to her for support. “Luna? Are you okay?”

Her night court was a sham. Only a distraction so Celestia could say she had a duty.

That holiday, and it’s cannibalistic folklore. Not that she minded the actual holiday itself, but the intent behind it. She didn’t like scaring ponies, even if they wanted to be scared.

And the goldfish had tried to change her, to bend her to her will, just because… Because she no longer fit here. Tried to make her more likable… Because she no longer was.

In fact, only the reduction of the royal Canterlot voice had been useful, or had, in fact, stuck. That and the abolishment of the royal “We”. Not that the goldfish hadn’t reminded her every chance they met.

The only job that she was allowed to do, one of the few duties she enjoyed… Ponies seemed more scared when she showed up than before, no matter how awful the nightmare.

That duty was the small mercy that Celestia had given her. And nopony wanted it.

She… was useless.

No.

Worse than useless.

Extraneous.

Equestria already had one Princess. The shift to a diarchy was too much. Too sudden. They didn’t need another Princess.

She would always be overshadowed, compared to her sister, and she would always come in second. Dead last.

And she would always be a villain in their eyes.

Tinkertoy went from standing next to Luna to comfort her and keep her company, to holding her up as she slumped, sobbing. All eyes were instantly on them as she fell to the sidewalk. “Luna?! Are you alright?”

“T…T…Tinkertoy… We are useless! We hath been replaced!”

“Lulu? Stop this tomfoolery. Our subjects are watching.”

“Thine subjects are watching! Mine is holding me now! Nothing I do m….m…matters!” Twilight rolled her eyes. ”Jeez. She could give Rarity a run for her bits right about now.”

Captain Armor helped pull Luna up, settling her against Tinkertoy. He stared at Twilight while Luna clutched Tinkertoy like a drowning mare. “Twily? Are you feeling alright?”

“Perfectly fine. I’ve seen Rarity do this plenty of times. She starts feeling ignored, and gets all dramatic so everypony’ll pay attention to her again.”

Spike shifted on her back, and Twilight looked back at him. “But she’s crying…”

“So does Rarity. She’ll get over it.” Celestia tilted her head at all of them. “Lulu-“

“Doth not call us by that name! Not after the past 1015 years!” Celestia sighed, and her head sunk. “Luna. Nopony wants to see history repeat itself. Please, you need a rest. Smith, you seem to be helping, if only a miniscule amount. Can you watch over her?”

Tinkertoy nodded, and Celestia looked closely at Luna. “Please, Luna. Get your thoughts together. Go back to the palace. I shall meet you there later, and we shall have a good, long, talk. I foresee it being beneficial to us both.”

Luna stared back at her with hatred in her eyes. “The palace you built, adding our quarters as an afterthought? FINE! Goodbye Celestia! GOOD DAY!” She began moving on her own without warning, and Tinkertoy stumbled for a moment before catching up to her.

They disappeared around a corner, and Twilight looked back at Celestia. “I’ll keep searching. Can you send a royal guard down to meet me at Air Traffic control? I need to look at the manifest, and I doubt they’ll just let anypony look at it.”

“Indeed. In fact, Captain Armor?”

“Yes?”

“Are you busy?”

“Not at all.” He got her hint. “Come on, Twily. I’ll come with. Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been studying lately?” They trotted off, leaving Celestia behind. She gazed at the palace as she murmured to herself. “Lulu, what odd mood has taken you as of late? You have been acting so strange…” Her eyes drifted upwards as she looked over her sky, finally settling as she gazed straight into the sun. “But thank you for the compliment. ‘Tis a good day, indeed.”

...Make Way for the New

Eye of the Storm (2)

“Useless… We are useless once again, even today… How couldst we be so blind as not to see that we hath been replaced…”

“Luna? Please, don’t…” The sentence hung in the air, incomplete, as Tinkertoy tried to find a satisfactory way to end the sentence. Please don’t cry? Please don’t feel miserable about something that was utterly world-shaking and truly deserving of such misery? He let his voice drop, ending the sentence there. He didn’t know what to do, how to comfort Luna. He was lost, the only course of action left being simply to be there and act as a shoulder to cry upon, occasionally hugging her closer when the sobs got particularly loud.

They had returned to the Palace.

For the first time, Tinkertoy noticed the recent brickwork and patches of more recent paint indicative of this wing being a hasty addition. They had passed back through the throne room, a sheet and plywood supports keeping the room relatively sealed. It covered the window, at least. The massive blast hole in the roof would need a little more work just to patch together. The Batponies were keeping watch in the rafters.

The floor was still stained blood red in spots, where the guards had fallen in Luna’s defense. The bodies themselves had been removed and given proper funerals, their families reimbursed. But the blood remained, left there as a show of respect for the deads’ efforts. Nopony would clean it up, and nopony had asked. By the throne itself were several powder burns, scorches of the flash-bangs. Luna’s blood and unsavory liquids had been eagerly cleaned, however, a slight discolouration the only reminder of their presence.

They walked past it all.

Luna’s tower was built into the wing, a door behind her throne leading to a spiral staircase that emerged, after a twisting climb, through a door and onto an outer balcony. The top of Luna’s tower was comprised of this balcony, and her quarters. A circular metal door made of some sort of purple metal with a moon carved into it (Or perhaps it had been made like that?) was the only other feature of the tower. Luna had pointed her horn at it, and it had unlocked, the gentle curves and waves of the metal glowing and separating. It had opened like a metal flower, and disappeared into the sides of the doorframe. On the other side of her tower was a balcony, with a silver and glass framework door preventing casual entry.

Tinkertoy realized, with a start, that if Luna had her food brought to her, she had almost no reason to leave this little section of the palace. The room was fully furnished, split between bedroom, living room, bathroom, kitchen, and study, all built within the confines of fifteen metres. He rescinded his thought of having her food brought to her. The fully-stocked kitchen proved that she was expected to cook for herself. Only social events would be able to extricate her from this tower, and he’d heard that she never went.

They sat then in the bedroom, on the bed. Luna had torn all of her bits armor and her crown off, and wrapped herself in her blankets with only her muzzle poking out. They now lay across the floor. Tinkertoy sat, cradling her head in his forehooves as she wrapped herself around him. He was glad he hadn’t been born a Pegasus. He was tempted, of course, but he wouldn’t act on those impulses. He was a gentlecolt, if nothing else. At some point, the cold had crept in, and he had wrapped a few folds of the sky-blue (At least on one side. The other was more of a navy blue) blanket around himself as well.

And that was where they sat. Sat for at least half-an-hour, with time seemingly dragging by. He didn’t mind spending it with Luna, but he sorely wished he were with her under happier circumstances. Still, no matter how slowly a nearby  clock ticked, he stayed still, and comforting Luna as best he could. He looked down at her once more. She was still sobbing quietly. She didn’t wear much makeup, in fact almost none at all, but what she did have was beginning to run. Her beautiful mane had been pulled into the blanket, but he could still see the twinkle of stars within the dark folds. Her eyes were just the slightest bit puffy from the crying. He pulled out his handkerchief to dab her eyes, but decided against it. After all it had been through, it was covered in ash, scorch marks, blood, and sweat. Adding tears to it seemed like a step too far.

His eyes searched the room. It was a dark purple, with the ceiling sporting an odd glow. Some sort of magic, he gathered. He idly wondered what spell it was, before returning his attention to the nightstands and dressers. There was even an ironwood wardrobe against a wall, in place of a proper closet. In fact, most of the furniture seemed to be made of the material; it wasn’t hard to imagine why. He found what he was searching for. A box of nose-wipes sat on the nightstand next to him, and he plucked one out of the box before wiping Luna’s eyes.

As he did so, she blinked, as though unaware of her surroundings. The tears had stopped, but Tinkertoy didn’t know if this was because she had calmed, or if she had simply run out. “Luna? Are you feeling better?” She blinked slowly, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes once more. Well, that answered that question, at least. She shook her head, paused, and then nodded just the slightest bit. He pulled her head until he was looking straight into her eyes. “Luna. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. Sadness, loneliness, I dunno. Just remember, I’m here.”

She spoke, tentatively, her voice was as fragile as a Chineigh plate. “But… Thou shalt not always be…” Tinkertoy pulled her closer, cradling her once again. “I’m here now, Luna. That’s what matters.”

From the front of the tower came a knock, the kind of knock that wasn’t quite impatient, not yet, but said simply, “Get out here, because I don’t want to have to open this door.” Luna’s horn glowed, and Tinkertoy felt his ears pop without warning. Then yelled, in the royal Canterlot voice (Though he heard it as being just louder than her normal speaking voice) “PISS OFF!”

Her horn glowed once more, and Tinkertoy’s ears unpopped. She had deafened him, so she wouldn’t… Well, deafen him? A few moments of shocked silence passed, before Celestia’s voice came through the door. “Well. That is hardly how I expected to be greeted.”

Both sets of eyes widened, and they both made a quick scramble to get off the bed as they door began to click open. However, they both moved too quickly in different directions, and the blankets became tangled, wrapping around them like an oppressive snake. They realized where they went wrong, and both moved again, once more at cross-purposes. The door had been opened now, and regal hoofsteps came down the hall. There was an unsettling split second of freefall, and they both hit the floor in a tangle of limbs.

Celestia opened the bedroom door, and stepped in. “Luna, what in Equestria could have you using such lan-“ She stopped dead as she entered the room. Luna had hit the floor first, cushioned from the fall by the carpet and the blanket, and Tinkertoy had fallen atop her. Celestia, goddess of the sun and (Co-)ruler of Equestria, looked at their incredibly compromising position.

Silence.

Shocked silence.

Quickly becoming awkward silence.

And then Celestia grinned.

“Heavens, Luna. Is that it? You could have said. Or… What is the etiquette these days… Put a tie upon the door?”

There was more shocked silence.

And then a quick scramble as they both tried to explain and disentangle themselves from the blankets, both voices fighting for dominance.

“This isn’t what it looks like, I swear, we just fell off the-“

“Sister, we wert not… No! Free thy mind from the gutter!”

“Ow! I mean, this is a side of you that I’ve not seen before-“

“Sorry, I think ‘tis knotted like this…”

“-And to be honest, it’s a little creepy, and- Agh! Other way!”

“And what doth thou mean ‘Is that it?”

“And we didn’t have a tie or anything anyway…”

There was a twang of fabric, and Tinkertoy found himself free of the blankets once more, landing at the pure white hooves of Celestia. He could see his reflection in her golden shoes. Something clicked.

“Wait… You’re not angry?”

Celestia looked down and gave him a quizzical look. “Of course not, my little pony. Why would I be?”

“…Because the first time we met, you threatened to have me executed? And you were kinda cold the second and third time we met?”

“Tinkertoy!” Luna tried to leap at him to shut him up before he insulted Celestia, but she was still tangled in the blanket, and merely flopped forward.

“’Tis quite alright, Lulu. I understand my demeanor was less than admirable. Lulu’s life was on the line, however, and time was of the essence. But if you two have truly romantic intentions…?”

“What?! I…uh…”

“You do not?” Her gaze hardened, just slightly. Tinkertoy looked past her, back at Luna. She was sitting back on her haunches, still wrapped in the blanket, like a particularly messy dress. Even when he was being stared at by Celestia, he couldn’t deny how cute she looked like that, caught off guard. She was over a millennia old, at least, but that never crossed his mind. He really, truly did love her.

He made his decision.

“You’re right.” He said, with a smile. “I do love her.”

Instantly, Celestia’s gaze softened, and she beamed at him and Luna. She looked down, and picked Luna’s crown off the floor. She polished it on her foreleg, and placed it back on Luna’s head. Luna looked surprised, but she still smiled, a happy, almost dopey grin spreading across her muzzle. “Excellent.” She placed a hoof on Tinkertoy’s shoulder. “Luna, do you mind if I borrow him for just a moment? I feel we should have a conversation about respective futures and such.”

Luna’s smile dropped, and she frowned at Celestia. “If you even think of bedding him after that-“

Celestia laughed, and wrapped a long forehoof around Tinkertoy, who recoiled just slightly. “Ha! A funny thought, Lulu, but fear not. I wouldn’t dare! I simply wish to show him something in the south tower. A cautionary tale, if you will. Just thought I’d show him the Chalice of Princess Christina, let you both know I still want both of you doing your jobs despite what you two are doing together!”

Luna still looked unsure, but she nodded. Tinkertoy gently moved out of Celestia’s grasp, and back to her, cautiously nuzzling her. She quickly returned the favor, however, and he nuzzled her without worry before pulling back. “Don’t worry, Luna. Apparently I’ll be right back.” Celestia placed a hoof on his shoulder and gave him a nudge towards the door. Luna gave a wave before the door shut.

“Follow me.” Celestia said, all cheer drained from her voice.

“You are an inventor.”

“Er…Yes…”

“That is both good and bad.”

“How so?”

“Luna needs somepony to properly introduce her to modern technology. She is reading and catching up, and I have been doing what I can. Nonetheless, she still a fair bit behind, and I wish you to instruct her.”

“I…assume that’s the good?”

“Correct.”

“And the bad?”

“Several reasons. I’ve met many inventors over the years. Some were geniuses, some were thieves, and some meddled in things they should not. Some wished simply to have their inventions get used, and the recognition with it. Others would give ponykind the world. For a price.”

“Ah. Any other reasons?”

“You shall see. We are here.” They had arrived, after a fair bit of trotting. Before them was a massive metal door, made, seemingly, of some sort of mix between Titanium, Thaumium, Silver, and Marble. Each of the components had it’s own use. It was famous for it’s construction, as it was one of the most massively magical devices in the world. The Titanium, for strength. The Thaumium, so it could store the massive amounts of magic necessary to allow it to work. Silver, for supernatural protection. Marble, just because. And yet, nopony knew what was behind it.

Theories ranged. A portal to other dimensions. The meaning of life. A device that could teleport the royal sisters to a secret torture dungeon, or another planet. Free energy. The answer to life, the universe, and everything. A prison filled with the most horrible monsters to have seen sunlight. Pinkie Pie’s horn, wings, and sanity.

Well, okay. That last one was Tinkertoy’s theory.

It was built straight into the wall, and stood out no more than a foot. There had to be some sort of spatial manipulation behind it, as otherwise, it wouldn’t hold much. The door itself was split into six sections, one for each of the elements of harmony. That, too, was common knowledge. The center was a transparent disk that seemed to glow slightly.

Celestia’s horn glowed with golden light, and she loosed a surge of magic into the disk, which accepted it eagerly. It hummed, and energy bent into arcane shapes as it span quicker and quicker, before stopping suddenly with a final thump. The disk shimmered and disappeared, leaving the door to split into six equal parts as it slid apart. She turned to him, and gently tapped his head with her horn. A shiver, like electricity but not quite, hummed through him before that too, dissipated

“Wha… What was that?”

“Temporary access. Welcome, Tinkertoy Smith, to Vault Six.” The door slid open fully, and white light shining from inside blinded him. Celestia didn’t seem to be similarly affected. She stepped into the light without hesitation, and motioned for him to follow.

He stepped in, and the door shut behind him. As his eye adjusted to the bright light, he found himself standing in a white metal tube, albeit one with overly-bright lights.

“It’s not that impressive…”

“Just wait. This is identification.” As she said that, a red wave of light shot across the top of the tube. It began moving downward, and as it passed across Tinkertoy, it tingled and began moving back upwards, coming to a rest and disappearing once it reached the ceiling.

“Confirmed. Princess Celestia and… Guest?” The voice came from the door at the far end, or rather a speaker above it.

“That is correct, Hidden Treasure. Tinkertoy Smith. He is an inventor, so play nice.”

“Long as he keeps his hooves- Uh… metal claws? To himself, I don’t mind.”

“What was that? Who’s she brining in?”

“Greetings to you too, Sunset Shimmer. Once again, Tinkertoy Smith. Spread the word, or I shall soon grow sick of hearing it.”

“You got it. Ma’am.” Tinkertoy’s eyebrow raised. “Ma’am?”

“A story for another time. Not even Luna knows this one. All I can tell you now, and I stress that you shall tell nopony, is that this is a pocket dimension, with a staff of it’s own. We store dangerous things here, things that should never see the light of my day, and things that are too wonderful to reach Equestria. Yet.” Before them, the door opened, and they strode in, Tinkertoy suddenly much less confident than before. “Follow closely, Smith. This dimension shifts, but a few things remain consistent.” Behind them, the door slid shut.

The walls and floor seemed to vary in material and construction, between tile, concrete, rubber, wood, and some unidentified plastic. He made a point to walk around the sections made of clouds. Light came, seemingly, from everywhere at once, without any actual source. They walked past racks of assorted items, shelves of seemingly random odds and ends, and barrels filled with unidentified liquids.

The passed four books, all underneath a solid-looking glass shield built into a wooden lectern. The first was a beat-up brown book, labeled AITRAN. Next to it lay a blue book, a red book, and a green book respectively, all unlabeled.

They pushed onward.

They passed a large metal cube, with a door set into the side. A window was set into the door, and Tinkertoy looked inside. The room inside was absolutely empty, save a floor coated in Light-knows-what, and a concrete statue facing away from him. It was bipedal, cartoonishly rounded, with a pair of arms facing the wall. He blinked, and it was facing him, with a face made of spray paint and pure hatred. He jumped away from the door in surprise, and the window made a loud ping sound. He looked back in to find it pressed against the glass, a miniscule scratch where it touched it.

“Smith, stop playing with 173. This way.”

He shivered, and followed her.

It seemed the place went on forever. He had just passed a massive yellow bipedal robot (Labeled Elemental Gimmick Gear) when Celestia stopped. After all the things he’d seen, they had stopped at a simple safe, with an alphabetic lock. A glow of magic clicked several buttons in order. Tinkertoy caught the order by pure chance. D…U…S…T…Y.

The safe clicked open, and the golden glow swung the door wide. Inside, on a velvet pad shaped specifically for it, sat an ivory-handled Spinspistol. But this one looked different.

He looked closer, and found that the chambers didn’t spin along the axis of the barrel, but was turned ninety degrees, so it would spin horizontally to it. A golden corona surrounded it, and it levitated out of the safe. Gently, Celestia slid it into his mechanical hand,.

Now holding it, he inspected it in detail. The handle was painstakingly etched with images of the sun, whorls of light, and pure, intricate beauty given form. Turning it towards the floor, he found an inscription on the butt of the handle. An etching, of two cutie marks spliced together. One was unmistakably Celestia’s, but he didn’t recognize the other. Until he did, at least somewhat.

It was a bullet, turned sideways on the flat end, facing upward.

“A gift,” Interrupted Celestia, derailing his thoughts. “From a …very close friend.” Tinkertoy nodded. He kept his finger pointedly off the trigger, and pointed it at the wall. He brought the sights up to his eye, and found that it had been perfectly aligned. He moved it away, and noticed a button to the side of the hammer. Carefully, he thumbed it. He heard a small click, and felt the revolving chamber loosen. He wrapped his left hand underneath the gun, and pushed the revolving chamber out completely.

It popped free on well-oiled hinges, revealing six bullets placed in a roughly hexagonal position. He tilted it backwards, and a single brass casing fell out before he could catch it. Celestia caught it with her magic, and passed it back to him. It was the only spent round. He clicked the revolving chamber back into the gun, lining the empty chamber up with the hammer so that it would reach the empty one first.

He lined his arm up with the wall, and pulled the hammer back. He pulled the trigger, and the clockwork inside struck the hypothetical bullet with a loud click. “The design is ingenious. Who made it? Why have I never heard of them?”

Celestia was still staring at the shell. “His… Name was Dusty. Dusty Hooves. He asked for an audience with me, nearly two hundred years ago. Before Luna rejoined me on the throne. He brought me many clever inventions, and showed them all to me and my court. He finished his presentation by giving me this as a gift, and… Declaring that he loved me. Truly loved me, with all his heart. But… All of his inventions were weapons. Tools of war, made to kill and maim and murder in order to defend Equestria. His intentions were good, but all he chose to build were weapons. He explained how he received his cutie mark after he had perfected the first one of these. His talent was making weapons, and all the death and despair that came with them.

“So… I went to his workshop. I visited him personally, out in the desert, near where Appleloosa stands now. I explained it all to him, why he could not continue his work, why he had to disappear.”

A tear slid down her cheek, and splashed onto the floor. Her impenetrable mask cracked.

‘Why he had to die.”

The pistol was gingerly taken from Tinkertoy’s hand, and the shell reinserted into the chamber. She placed it back into the safe, and turned back to Tinkertoy, and the mask was back, like it had never left. But there was still a bit of moisture on her cheek.

“What kind of Pony are you, Tinkertoy Smith? You have so much potential. You have made weapons, and I have no doubt you will make more. But how will history remember you?

“As the Pony who built the gun that ended the world? That brought a bloody glory to Equestria, and money to himself, to fritter away during his short existence? Infamous?

“As the Pony who found a better way? Who fought not only with his knowledge, but with common sense? Who won without firing a shot, or, if he did, made the world a better place anyway?

“The madpony who got Lulu killed?

“Will history remember you at all?” The safe clicked shut.

“Think about your answer. Keep Luna in your mind, and close to your heart, with everypony else you know. And think about who will be the one to remember you, and record you for everypony who did not..

“You will not live forever, Tinkertoy Smith. Nopony does. Even I shall fade, given time. But she will live much longer than you, and she will have to live with what you have done regardless.

“Think about your answer.”

Her eyes were wet again, and Tinkertoy still had a nose-wipe in his toolbelt from earlier. He pulled it out and offered it to her. She took it graciously, and wiped her eyes. He took a deep breath.

“I know what kind of Pony I am.”

“Do you? Well, if you are sure. But! Do not tell me.”

She pointed back at the door from whence they came.

“Go out there and tell them.”

Oh look, It's got Sky Pirates now

Eye of the Storm (3)

The Royal Canterlot Archives did not get many visitors. Only the occasional hard-working student, the perpetually-overworked professors, and the odd tourist who’d taken a wrong turn looking for somewhere else. A constant guard presence ensured several things, including that nopony tried to do anything to the massive library or its contents, nopony went near the level five archives save the princesses, and making everypony who tried to actually read anything very uncomfortable.

Apparently Celestia had done her damndest to create a personal library, and the Royal Canterlot Archives were as close as she could come.

This, of course, made it the perfect place to hold their meeting. All of the afore-mentioned reasons, and the final, most important one: It had a nice, round table. That was important.

“Captain Shining Armor, at ease. Deliver your report when ready.” The Stallion in question exhaled, and shuffled a few papers he had with him.

“Right. Well, we got there about ten minutes after leaving the warehouse, and I had to go find the, uh…little colt’s room… By the time I caught up with Twily proper, she’d gotten the manifest after having done… something to the poor mare in charge of the paperwork. We’re going to have words about that later, Twi. Ones explaining the meaning of ‘A colour that doesn’t exis-“

“Anyway! Yes! Got the manifest!” Twilight interrupted him, suddenly changing the subject away from whatever the Captain had been about to say. A purple glow opened her saddlebags, and the manifest, a little black book, flipped out and onto the table with a flourish. Her horn lit again, and the book’s pages flipped like a gust of wind had blown them open. She suddenly slapped her hoof down onto the book, stopping it on the correct page.

“You can see here that there were two airships with that combination of colours on that day. One was just a transport vessel carrying a load of corn, but the other…” Another spark of magic slapped the book closed as she leaned close to the table, as though she had been telling a story and had just gotten to the really good part. “…was a reported pirating vessel.”

There was shocked silence for a moment.

Captain Armor broke it. “Pirates? Seriously?” He looked around the table for support. Celestia was lost in thought, her expression unreadable. Luna had cocked her head, as though she wasn’t quite sure she had heard her right. She glanced to Tinkertoy, and raised an eyebrow. Tinkertoy just shrugged in reply, adding “Well, as little sense as that actually makes, it’s a lead…”

Celestia spoke, her voice unwavering, yet unbelieving. “Indeed. ‘Tis a lead, albeit not a particularly good one. Forgive me, my faithful student, but it seems a tad… far-fetched… Why would pirates wish the death of Luna?” Captain armor coughed.

“For that matter, how were they identified as Pirates? That’s a heck of a conclusion to leap to, after all…” Twilight shot him a glare, and flipped the book open once more. No fancy magic this time, she simply flipped it open with her hoof. “The description is identical to a ship that raided a small transport vessel roughly six months ago, as well as buzzing several ships of the Equestrian Aerial Navy. It’s the same ship, no doubt about it.”

“After we retrieved the manifest, I had to check a claim from the EBC about an unusual transmission they had recorded, so we split up again. Found that this message,” Shining Armor placed a small recording device onto the table in front of him. “Had overtaken their own for a short period. We got lucky, and somepony recorded it.” As he finished, he clicked the button. A pleasant female voice with a Trottingham accent began speaking.

‘-And that was sports. You’re listening to the EBC news hour, and the time is-“ Static cut through it the recording , as another voice began speaking with a cockney accent. “This is Timberwolf to The Barrel. We have arrived at the sunburst, and are ready for pickup. We need the location of- What was that, Echo? What do you mean we’re broadcasting over- Oh buck me. Switching to frequency Marmoset, over!” The static came again, returning them to the news broadcast. “-And in international news, a major archeological team in South Amareica has supposedly found modern building techniques and technology inside a 3000-year-old temple-“ Shining Armor clicked the button again, and the device silenced.

“That signal was meant to bounce off their tower to Cloudsdale, and presumably on from there. If we’re really chasing Pirates, then that’s where we go.” He sighed. “Unfortunately, they were using codes, so we can’t identify anything in the message for sure. I think the ‘Sunburst’ is either meant to be the palace, or maybe just Canterlot in general, but that’s as far as we got.”

Celestia nodded. “That would make sense. I believe…” She paused, lost in thought. “…Yes, there is an airship leaving to-day, at roughly six o’clock. I doubt the Captain will mind if we try and add a couple of passengers to his manifest, especially if one of them is you, Luna.” Luna nodded, excited. “Ooh… ‘Tis been far too long since We hath seen an airship, and never hast We been aboard one. Tinkertoy, art thou not… Tinkertoy?”

The Stallion in question had blanched at the mention of an Airship, and had, for that matter, been paling slightly since the mention of Cloudsdale. “Tinkertoy? Hast thou taken ill?”

“I, uh… No… Just don’t like heights much. Well,” he paused, gulping a bit of air. “It’s not that I don’t like heights, it’s just that… It’s an Earth Pony thing. We get a bit nervous if we aren’t supported by solid ground, even if that solid ground is the side of a mountain. There’s a reason you don’t see many Earth Pony pilots, if any, and why Pegasi cities only contain themselves and Unicorns.”

Twilight made a sound, not unlike a spit of disgust, and turned to Tinkertoy proper. "I can place a cloudwalking charm on you, but if you’re going to be too terrified to move anyway there won’t be much point.”

“Okay. Uh…What if I just stay here?”

“Really, Tinkertoy? You that wussy about heights?”

“Twily! Be nice!”

“’Twould defeat the purpose fully, Love. Please, see it as a way to try and overcome this phobia.” Tinkertoy gazed back at Luna. “I… I just…No. I can’t. At least, not without being immensely uncomfortable.” Luna sighed, and placed her hoof upon his, resting both upon the table. “We understand. Doth not worry, we’ll find another way to pursue them. If it wouldst affect thou such, then thou shalt not have to do this.”

Tinkertoy looked back into Luna’s eyes, seeing a little bit of sadness there. She had really wanted to ride on an Airship. He couldn’t blame her, not really. And, if she loved the idea so, he would have to enjoy the activity eventually…

“You know what? Screw it. Luna, we’ll go on that Airship, and damn my nervousness. I’ll live. I’m not going to take this from you.” At this, she brightened, and launched from her chair to wrap Tinkertoy in a hug that knocked him off his.

“Whoa-umph! Ow… I hope this was a good idea.”

“This was a terrible idea…”

“Doth not say such things. Hast thou ever ridden an Airship before?”

“No, I arrived in Canterlot by train.” As he said this, his nose itched. He brought a hoof up it, and it came back with a drop of blood. Odd. Maybe he needed to drink more water?

“Well, I have heard many wonderful things about doing so. I have heard that even some Pegasi prefer an Airship ride when they are unable to fly under their own power. ‘Tis supposedly one of the smoothest journeys one could imagine, such that some cannot even tell when the ship is truly in flight!”

“It’s a very romantic idea of yours, isn’t it?”

“Indeed! I look forward to this!”

Tinkertoy looked once more at the massive Airship. It was a large transport vessel, the kind that brought foodstuffs to major cities in fleets, but seemingly older and retired. It spoke of speed, with its  smooth lines and tight ropes, despite being a behemoth among vehicles. The envelope itself was over fifty metres in diameter, possibly more. The faded brown fabric of it had been woven from Cloudwood wool, with several weight-negating and sealing runes painted across it.

At the fore, which is to say, the front of the ship, was mounted a metal cone that tapered down to a point as to make it more aerodynamic. The envelope itself wasn’t quite oblong, but rather more cylindrical before tapering down similarly to a round end. At several points across the visible side were crow’s nests, three in number, spaced evenly from the center to front and back. Presumably, the design was mirrored on the opposite side, the top, and underneath the gondola so as to make use of the inner support beams.

Towards the aft (Back) of the ship were eight engines, evenly spaced away from each other in order to get the best mix between thrust and wind resistance. They all seemed to be connected by stairs or catwalks to the interior of the envelope, which presumably consisted of the engine room in that section. Each powered their own massive propeller, all at least five metres across.

The gondola below was like a Remora fish suckered onto a shark, anchored on like an afterthought made of reinforced aluminum. It cowered below the envelope, with only indirect sunlight reaching the interior. The rest must have been lit with electric lights. The gondola itself extended a mere ten metres below the envelope, and two levels were visible. The upper deck seemed to be the command deck, with the bridge visible through windows at the fore. Several of said windows, as well as others along the gondola, had been opened so that Pegasi could enter and exit freely whilst preparing to depart.

The lower level had to be the crew quarters and storage then, with a gangplank extending from the side, towards the back. This was what currently connected the airship to the dock, with a red Unicorn standing at the bottom of the ramp to make the picture complete.

He held a clipboard and an almost comically over-sized quill in a field of magic, watching various Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns dragging, floating, or pulling cargo aboard. As an orange Earth Pony dragged a particularly heavy-looking crate up the ramp, he blocked him with the quill. Not that it would actually stop him should he decide to press the matter, but merely to signify “stop”. Something not on the manifest, apparently.

Tinkertoy’s gaze drifted from the ship. As interesting as it was, it still made him queasy to think that he would soon be on board, and he would abandon his perfectly fine, solid, not-at-all-turbulent ground. Instead his gaze focused on Luna, who was smiling at him. It was a wonderful smile, the kind that kings would fight wars over until the pony who wore it asked them to stop.

They stood on the boardwalk, near the dock, having paused simply to stare at the massive airship before them, and all the Pegasi buzzing around it, bringing information and redistributing weight to balance it properly. The dock itself, of course, didn’t have waves lapping at its timbers. In fact only a thick rope prevented non-Pegasi from falling off the dock and, therefore, off the side of Canterlot mountain. A gust of wind whistled through the air around them, as if trying to do just that.

Tinkertoy peered, as best he could without actually moving from underneath Luna’s wing, around the envelope to look at the sky. Most of the rainclouds had by now dispersed, leaving only wisps of cloud about to remind him of his daring run. He’d need a name for that, beyond “his run” in the future. He’d need to call it something interesting, so his grandkids could ask, in the far future, “Tell us the story! Tell us about the… the…”

His imagination trailed off. What should he call it? It was a heck of a storm, with lots of heavy rain and thunder… The Thunderrun? He kind of liked the ring of that. Rolled off the tongue, and all that.

A nudge from Luna brought him back to the present, and she motioned back towards the gangplank. The Earth Pony and the Unicorn had finished their argument (with the Earth Pony dragging the crate away), and the Unicorn had waved them over. They began trotting to the gangplank, only to jump back as a purple flash temporarily blinded them.

They opened their eyes to find Twilight now arguing with the other Unicorn, something about the crate. On her back sat a very confused Spike. From behind them came the sound of clopping hooves. They turned to find Captain Armour had followed his sister, and had stopped next to them.

“Mr. Smith? Princess? A word?” Luna shot a final look at Twilight, before shrugging at Tinkertoy, who nodded to Captain Armour. “I suppose we have a moment now…”

“Yes, I’m well aware. Listen, I have to stay in Canterlot, and as much as I’d like to keep an eye on Twily, I can’t.” He paused, and hung his head. “I’m not going to lie, Mr. Smith. I can’t say I like you much. You’ve shown the guard up, you came out of nowhere, and suddenly you’re in a relationship with one of the local Alicorns-“

“Pot calling the kettle black!” Pinkie ran across the dock, past them, and shouted the statement as she did so. She was followed by a brown Stallion with an hourglass cutie mark and a grey Pegasus with some very odd eyes, with the stallion looking startled when he saw Tinkertoy.

“Bloody hell! I’m not supposed to have met you yet!”

“What?” But all three were gone as soon as they’d appeared, disappearing into an alley. “Well.” Luna started. “‘Twas surreal. I cannot help but feel I hath seen him before…”

Captain Armour turned back to Tinkertoy, still looking confused. “Anyway… As I was saying, I can’t keep an eye on my sis, and she’s been acting funny lately. Just… Make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid, okay? I wouldn’t normally trust somepony with something like this out of the blue, but there’s no other way to do it…”

“Got it. Keep Ms. Sparkle from causing too much trouble.”

“Precisely. I don’t expect you to try anything funny, but if you do…”

“Uh…Understood.” Captain Armour gave him a curt nod, before glancing back in Twilight’s direction. The argument had gotten louder. He shook his head, and gave her a wave she either didn’t see, or chose to ignore, before trotting away.

“-Celestia’s personal student, and I need my books!” Luna and Tinkertoy reached the gangplank as the other Unicorn replied.

“I don’t care if you’re Faust herself, you’re not taking all those on board. That’s at least ten kilos of weight we’d have to just chuck, and if we have to make an emergency ascension, we’d have to chuck those too. Maybe three, max, if you absolutely need them. Normal-sized, none of these bloody encyclopedias.”

Twilight turned back to the crate with a pout, and waved her horn. The top of the crate instantly splintered into a cloud of wood dust, and several books floated through, pausing before her as she flitted through the titles. She picked three, and bundled them with a piece of twine before the cloud of wood chips meshed back together, reforming as though the crate had never been opened. Finally she turned to the Earth Pony who had been standing beside the crate the whole time, who seemed a little shaken by her method of opening the crate.

“Back to the palace. I’ll have them delivered to Ponyville later.” The Earth Pony nodded, and looked back up at the palace at the other end of the city before sighing. With a huff, Twilight trotted up the gangplank, her books following her like a trained pigeon, and Spike looking slightly less nauseous.

The Unicorn with the clipboard watched her go, and turned back to Tinkertoy. “Sorry about that. Sometimes Ponies forget how delicate an issue weight is aboard an Airship. Heh, I once had somepony try to smuggle gold on this thing. Found him out pretty quickly, let me tell you!” He placed his clipboard and quill inside a saddlebag at his side, and turned back to shake Tinkertoy’s hand.

“Pleased to meetcha both. I’m Careful Count, cargo manager. Princess Luna, Mr. Smith, welcome to the Aeroflux. She ain’t pretty, she’s a little outdated, but she’ll get ya where ya need to go. It’s wonderful to have you both aboard! Especially you, Princess!”

“…’Tis?”

“Oh yes. Many a night we fly above the cloud layer, making navigation via landmarks next to impossible. So we use your stars to keep our course instead! It’s even saved lives, when we’re transporting medicine and such.”

Luna’s face visibly brightened, and she suddenly had a grin spreading across it that would put Pinkie Pie to shame. “Well! I am glad my work could be so appreciated, doubly so if ‘tis of use to somepony!”

“Oh, very much so! Speaking for everypony on board, we’re honoured!” He looked back at the dock, checking for any late cargo. Finding none, he turned back to the two. “We’re all loaded up and ready to shove off. I don’t really need to be anywhere for a little while anyway, so I’ll show you two to your cabin.”

:”Er… Cabin, singular?”

“Yes, specially requested by Princess Celestia. Is… Is that a problem? She told us you two were a couple, but if you aren’t…” He turned to Tinkertoy, and gave him a sultry look.

“No, no! A single cabin wouldst be perfectly fine!”

“I’m… charmed, but yeah, we’re a couple. And I’m straight.”

“Aww, killjoy. This way, then.” He led them inside the cargo bay, but stopped by the door, and the control panel that controlled it. He pressed one button with his hoof, which caused the gangplank to retract and fold up simultaneously, essentially becoming a wall, before he flipped up the cover for a speaking-tube. “Gangplank’s up. We’re all shiny here, Cap’n.”

Another voice filtered through the brass pipe, presumably that of the Captain. It was a gruff voice, the kind you’d expect from the Captain of a ship. It was the kind of voice that demanded a beard and the ever-present smell of salt. Or whatever the aerial equivalent was. “VIPs on board, Count?”

“Aye, Cap’n. All four accounted for. Ms. Sparkle and her pet lizard buggered off somewhere else, though. I’ll go find them after I get the Princess and Mr. Smith situated.”

“Good. Tell ‘em ta find a good window, we’re lifting off in sixty ticks.”

“Aye aye.” He clicked the tube shut, and turned back to Luna and Tinkertoy. “Well, like he said, let’s find a good window. You won’t wanna miss this.” He led them through a maze of crates, and up a staircase on the other side of the room. Around them, a few Pegasi were rearranging the crates and strapping them down so they wouldn’t shift about. They exited the room through a short metal door, and through a corridor that was just as cramped, before exiting through another door and into a much more spacious hallway.

A long window followed the right wall, allowing a view outside the ship. This was split into three smaller windows by two aluminum struts, and all three stopped to watch out these windows. Outside was simply the pier, but the way the windows were positioned, one could see over all the cargo left on it, and therefore, across the entirety of the docks.

For the first time in a while, Tinkertoy could get a damned sense of scale for Canterlot. As large as the docks were, they were still in the shadow of the section of the city above, finally ending at the palace. The whole city had been built like that, spiraling around the mountain like a corkscrew. The docks were at the bottom end, near to the city gates themselves, while the warehouse district and the slums (such as they were) sprawled outwards from that. Beyond that was the commercial district, and the massive market square in the center. At the moment, this view still ended at the lee side of the mountain, where the slope obscured the residential section.

“Here we go…” warned Careful. Luna unfolded her wing back over Tinkertoy, protectively pulling him close. He was starting to feel a little queasy, and they were still technically docked. He tried not to let Luna see it. An intercom in the corner, another one of those brass tubes, spoke with the Captains voice once more.

“Dumping ballast in fifteen ticks. Everypony get clear.” Careful turned to Tinkertoy. “First flight?” Tinkertoy nodded. “Thought so. Never met an Earth Pony keen on flight before, and you’re certainly no exception.” He paused. “Listen, I’m sorry for making a pass at you earlier.” His gaze shifted to Luna. “Probably not my place to say, but he must love each you very much if he’s willing to do this for you.” He turned away from them, and back to the window, before he took a deep breath, fogging up the glass in front of his muzzle.

Beneath their hooves, the deck shifted, and Tinkertoy felt his stomach drop out from under him. The engines kicked in, and he almost fell on his side from the shift in gravity. Only Luna holding him up kept him from keeling over from airsickness. Not in front of her. He forced out a chuckle, and nervously murmured, “That wasn’t…too bad…”

Careful had his eyes closed, but his right eye peeked open at the two. “If I might recommend something? Take a deep, slow breath. We’re pressurizing, so your ears are going to pop soon. Keep breathing, in and out.” Tinkertoy inhaled, and felt Luna doing the same by his side. He exhaled, and didn’t feel quite as queasy.

“That… helped, a little. Thank you.”

“Heh, anytime. Your cabin’s right behind you. I’ve got to get up to the bridge and deliver this cargo manifest, but if you ever want the tour, just ask for Aircolt Count.” He turned to leave, but caught himself before he did so. “Oh! Almost forgot, your key…” Said key emerged from his saddlebags in a white field of magic, and Luna took it in her own cerulean one. “…And the Captain wanted to meet you for a dinner of sorts later, in the galley. Around eight-thirtyish, he told me. See you there?”

“Of course! We wouldst not think of refusing such hospitality!”

“Likewise, ‘Aircolt Count’.” Said colt let out a snicker at his own expense, before he left, the door shutting behind him. Tinkertoy and Luna turned back to the window, gazing back outward.

“Dost thou wish to hold this?” Luna passed him the key, and he held it in his hoof as she looked out the window once more. He looked at the key in detail as it rested in the frog of his hoof.

It was a tiny little iron thing, surprisingly ornate for simply being another cabin key. Then again, he reflected as he looked at the other doors, this was hardly the rest of the crews’ quarters. It made sense that the Captain would give him, or more likely Luna, one of the fancier cabins. He looked back at the key.

The end opposite the teeth, where it was meant to be held, had “Guest Quarters” inscribed into it in a small, plain font. He looked closer, past it’s shine and fanciness, and noticed it was covered in lots of pits and scratches . Some of the deeper ones held a minute amount of verdigris, suggesting that the iron was merely a cover for the copper it was actually made of.

In the harder-to-reach spots, little bits of engine oil and grease residue flattened it back out, belying its true nature. That being a reliability and strength hidden underneath a layer of cleanliness and gaudiness, which didn’t particularly suit it. It remained pleasant to look at, however, and the overall appearance kept it particularly interesting.

It made a rather good metaphor for the Aeroflux, in fact. He clicked open a pouch on his tool belt, and dropped the key in. “Tinkertoy, look! Tia is waving us goodbye!” She started waving back,  and Tinkertoy followed her gaze to one of the Palace’s towers, where he could, indeed, see Celestia waving. Already they were a fair distance away, and all he could see was a white, pony-shaped blur, but he followed Luna’s example and started waving as well.

Next to her, he could also see a smaller, white-and-blue blur, which must’ve been Captain Armour. Huh. He’d made good time. He appeared to be sandwiched between Celestia and a larger, pink blur. That had to be… Princess Cadence? Odd that she’d see them off as well. Even odder was that she seemed to be much closer to Captain Armour than Celestia was, but that could’ve been a trick of the light.

Nonetheless, the fading light illuminated the city, colouring it a faded gold. Canterlot was beautiful during the sunset. Still, sunset meant Luna would bring her night sky soon, and he looked forward to it. He’d seen it twice now, and knew it wouldn’t be cheapened by seeing it for a third time.

They passed around another mountain, a thin spire, that obstructed their view of Canterlot, leaving them to look at the rock wall, the wide yellow sky, or the Equestrian plain below. He could even, if he squinted his eye, make out a few trailing curls of smoke rising from Ponyville. It was a beautiful moment, one that could’ve lasted forever.

“Ah, found you, Luna. Shouldn’t you be doing something right about now?”

Which meant of course, that it couldn’t. Some unknown law of the universe dictated that Twilight show up now (At twilight, haha) and ruin it. He hadn’t even heard the door open, nor the distinct snap sound of a blink. She’d managed to show up without either of them hearing it.

Luna’s ears drooped. “Very well, since thou insist…”

“Damn straight. Come on, there’s an observation deck at the top of the Airship.”

Calling it a “deck” was a bit of an exaggeration. In truth, it was little more than a glorified crow’s nest, and about as large. It was built so a single topspotter could keep a watchful eye, and hadn’t really needed to be very large for that.

The fact that he was still up there made it a little cramped, however. “You do know there’s only supposed to be, like, two ponies up here, max, right?”

“Sorry. Luna needed a clear view of the sky, and Ms. Sparkle didn’t want to waste time. As soon as she’s finished, we’ll be on our-“

“Are you apologizing, Smith? Don’t bother. Luna has a job to do, and this is the only place she can do it.”

Tinkertoy stared at Twilight. It wasn’t particularly hard to do, as he was somewhat flattened between her and Luna. His eyes narrowed.

“ I… That’s it. Change of plan. Ms. Sparkle, let’s make this room a little less cramped. I’d like to talk to you downstairs.” Twilight rose an eyebrow as Tinkertoy continued. “Luna, can you meet us there when you’re done?” She nodded, and Tinkertoy opened the hatch and proceeded down the spiral staircase that connected the observation deck to the array of catwalks below. Twilight followed behind, and they stopped as they reached the bottom of the spiral.

He looked around the interior of the envelope once again, hoping to calm down somewhat. Early Airships had the entire envelope filled with Hydrogen, but the Aeroflux was one of the later ones. The decks of the gondola extended for two more levels into the envelope, with the lifting-gas sealed into massive pouches on the side. Catwalks went from the fore to the aft of the ship, following the support skeleton, and allowing for access to the lookout post or to the engine room. Towards the front, the gondola went up another level, forming the galley.

He took a deep breath, and turned around.

“Pardon my language, but what in Tartarus, Ms. Sparkle!? You’ve been insufferable since the day I met you, and downright rude to Luna! In fact you’re being a nag to just about everypony we’ve met thus far, save Celestia herself! I’ve read the papers, heard the radio reports all about you and your friends, ‘The Elements of Harmony’, and I’m friends with another, Pinkie. I cannot imagine that she’d be friends with somepony this abrasive to absolutely everypony she meets! In fact, If you’re this bad all the time, I must wonder how you made friends in the first place! Your behavior is unbecoming of an Element of Harmony, a student of the Princess, and the mare everypony knows as Twilight Sparkle! What on Arcadia do you have to say for yourself?”

His rant seemed to have finally gotten her attention, as she was visibly shaken by the end of it. Tinkertoy momentarily wondered if he had been too hard. She frowned, and glared at him, before speaking again, her voice cold and concise.

“You want to know why I’m so abrasive? Because of you, that’s why. My family has lived and worked and died in Canterlot for generations, and we have some royal blood. It’s taken over a thousand years simply to get a Sparkle to become the Princess’s protégé! And then you come out of nowhere, from some town out in the middle of a desert, and suddenly you’re not only in a better position than anypony in family has ever been, but that position is as Princess Luna’s mate. After saving her from your own machines, after a sob story, after about two days, you’ve made everything my family has ever done meaningless!”

She had been building up her anger and her magic ever since she’d started, and the air now felt electrified. Her eyes had shifted from a deep purple to white hot with power, and her voice now felt strained.

“Meaningless! I swear, it makes me want… to… hnng…” She clamped her eyes closed, and Tinkertoy braced himself for whatever was about to happen. This was Twilight Sparkle, after all, and whatever she was preparing in that head of hers could wipe out the Airship if she chose.

Her eyes opened, and she grinned, and it was one of the most terrifying things he’d seen for quite a while. Then his ears popped, and he couldn’t tell which way was up anymore. He instantly collapsed to the deck, with his head pounding in time with his heart as he came to the sudden realization he was no longer on the ground. He felt like vomiting, but held it down. Wiping his fetlock against his muzzle, he groaned (He absentmindedly noted that sound didn’t seem to work quite like it had before) at Ms. Sparkle, “What…urgh…did you…do?”

Sound echoed, like he was underwater, and yet like they were in a huge room with awful acoustics. Her voice now sounded nasally, unpleasant, having hinted at it before. “Removed the fluid from inside your eardrums.” She grinned diabolically, and spat on him.

“Have fun. I’m going to do a little reading.” She trotted past him, each step ringing on the metal, her hooves beating a four-step rhythm that reverberated inside his skull. He tried to stand, but his hooves refused to cooperate as the world spun around him.

No, he’d be just fine on the floor for a little while, thank you very much. Maybe he’d take a nap.

“Tinkertoy? Art thou unwell?”

Luna’s voice, Luna’s beautiful, singsong voice. Nothing else would make him respond.

Well, maybe spiders. He hated spiders. If he opened his eyes, and there was a spider in front of them, he’d have a damn heart attack. He decided not to risk it.

His mouth eased open, his lips dry. There was an acrid taste in it, like he… Hmm. Probably a few dry heaves while he was out. He swallowed to try and get it off his tongue. “F…fine, Luna. Thanks.”

“Then… Why, forsooth, art thou lying upon the deck? Face down?”

“It’s less… spinny, down here. I’m a little bit… Okay, massively airsick. Twilight could tell you more, she did it.”

“The goldfish? She did this?”

Tinkertoy cracked his eyes open. No spiders, but a lot of stinging light. Maybe he should’ve stopped staring at one of the electric lamps. Luna was crouching next to him, and smiled a little as he saw her.

“Yeah… We should probably mention that to someone.” A sudden wetness on the side of his face finally made him aware of its existence. “And this puddle of… Stars above, I hope that’s drool.”

Luna took a careful sniff. “It bears the odor of earwax.”

“Ah. That would probably be where that got to, then.”

“Pardon?”

“Nothing. We should probably tell somepony about that before they slip.”

“Dost… Thou need assistance standing upright?”

“Probably? I don’t really trust my legs right now.”

“To do what?”

“Work.”

A gentle cerulean corona of magic surrounded his midsection, and with it came a wave of thaumic nausea. It also pulled him, more-or-less, to his feet. Said feet then collapsed underneath him. He would’ve had a very painful reunion with the deck had Luna not caught him, and snapped her wing back around his barrel to hold him up.

Another gentle flick of magic sent the waxy fluid from his face, and Luna began to slowly guide Tinkertoy back to the decks below. “So, how long was I unconscious? How’d it go up top?”

“It went fine, a matter of a few minutes, but what happened to thou?” They turned a corner. “I believe thy ship’s medical office is along the distance of this corridor.”

“That’s good… I don’t feel so good, though. Kinda… vomitey.” Concerned, Luna turned her head to him and held it a foot further away. Her horn lit with a spell, and his head tingled. Not completely unpleasant, but it made his brain feel… buzzy.

“She… removed the fluid from thy eardrums? Ew.”

“That’s what I said. She’s been acting weird.”

“I noticed. Our encounters with her have always been so, but during the duration of those events, at least her emotions seemed consistent.” She hugged him close again. “There doth not appear to be any permanent damage, nor any that wouldst not heal within a week. But I suspect you desire equilibrium before that?”

“Equilib…thingy, would be nice, yeah.” They turned a corner, and stood before a door. In truth, the only thing different about this one, as opposed to all the other doors on this ship, was a Red Cross on it. But, that was also the universal signal for “Medical Attention”, so not much about it really needed to be different. A small nameplate beside the door bore the simple name of “Rusty Scalpel, M.D,”

Tinkertoy no longer felt as optimistic about this idea.

Evidently, neither did Luna, as she stared at the name like it had just turned purple. “’Tis… an unusual name…”

“Doesn’t inspire confidence, does it?” Tinkertoy tried to imagine a pony with that name actually working on his ears, and cringed. Luna seemed to be trying to comfort herself against Tinkertoy now, but seized the door handle with her magic all the same.

She had begun to turn the handle, but was interrupted as the door slammed wide open all on it’s own, framing the… thing behind it. At first, Tinkertoy thought he was a Gryphon, or some form of quadruped bird.

“Ah! I thought I heard voices, come in, come in! What’s wrong with him? Or her? Which of you is dying?” Luna seemed just as taken aback, but recovered well enough to stammer out, “N-Neither of us is dying, but-“

“Wot? Than why do you need my help? Have you merely come to talk, and spread damned germs in my office!?”

“What madness- No! A unicorn removed the fluid from Tinkertoy’s eardrums!”

“Oh! Somepony removed his Endolymph fluid? Ooh, that’s clever. Who? I’d rather like to talk to them- ah, right, matter at hoof. Well, why didn’t you just say so? Come in, come in!”

Luna muttered under her breath, “The goldfish…”

“Pardon?”

“I said, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Ah, of course, our other VIP. Is she going to press charges? Are you going to press charges? Can I do it?”

“Nay. If favoritism is not likely to work in my favor, it is even less likely to do so in thine.”

“Aw. Well, bring him in anyway, even if you wanna skip most of the fun parts. At least we’re not skipping the surgery, that’s my favorite part!” He finally stepped away from the door, and Luna pulled a slightly reluctant Tinkertoy inside.

At first glance, it seemed like a perfectly normal Doctor’s office, but small details began to make themselves known. All of the file cabinets were upside down, and faced the wall, making them next to impossible to open in such a position. All of the typical surgeons’ tools, which were normally kept in a sterile toolkit, were missing. They had been replaced with a slab of plastic, a Buffalo tomahawk, and a comically oversized drill.

The location of the normal assortment of scalpels became apparent as Tinkertoy faced the wall opposite the examination table. A dartboard was hung on the wall, with all the scalpels buried in a picture of a fish. The fish was seemingly unaware of this. He shook his head to clear it. He’d been hanging around crazy ponies too much.

His gaze moved back to the examination table, which had, for some inexplicable reason, a bucket of fresh organs on it. Blood seemed to be dripping off the metal and onto the table, staining it a bright crimson. His gaze moved back to the other pony (He refused to call this obvious lunatic a doctor), as he swept into his field of view and picked up the bucket of organs with a rubber-sheathed wing.

“Aha, don’t mind this. I’ll be putting them in the refrigerator soon, and that’ll keep them sterile. Onto the table with you!” As he did so, Tinkertoy finally got a good look at Rusty Scalpel, M.D.

He was wearing a rubber poncho that appeared to cover most of his body, with special holes and coverings for his wings. His hooves emerged from the bottom of the poncho, covered with a pair of heavy rubber boots. The poncho also had a hood for his head, where he was wearing what seemed to be an ancient unicornian plague mask.

The mask itself was black, with a “beak” extending outwards about ten centimetres from where his muzzle presumably ended. Small filters on the side revealed that it also served as a gas mask, and likely protected him from his perceived germs. Above the beak were two, giant glass lenses, which Tinkertoy stared into. The eyes of the doctor stared right back at him. No, definitely Equine. But even by Tinkertoy’s standards, he was odd.

“Er… Doctor Scalpel…” He tried to catch his attention as the “Doctor” strode past, before stopping at his desk. He pulled open a drawer, and began rummaging through it. “Doctor?” He asked, a little louder.

“No, please,” said the Pony. “Call me Rusty!” He finished, pulling out what looked like a medical rib-spreading device. He balanced it on one hoof, while he reached out to shake Tinkertoy’s with the other. Seeing that he likely wouldn’t do so, he waved the rib spreader.

“This, incidentally, is in entirely the wrong place. But seriously, call me Rusty!” He dropped the rib spreader into another drawer, and pulled out a giant needle as long and wide as Tinkertoy’s foreleg. He paused, tapping the needle against the desk. “At least… All my… friends…used to…” He held the needle back up, with a deranged grin spreading across his face, which was all Tinkertoy needed to start scuttling along the table, away from the crazy pony.

“Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopeno-“ He promptly ran out of table, and entered the air, his hooves getting in one good windmill before the back of his head smacked against the metal floor.

Tinkertoy blacked out again.