The Baptism of Snips

by TwizzleDragon

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Other, Sex, Random, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Snips
Length: 1022

Snips gets baptized by a human priest.

Decades have passed since the humans invaded Equestria, years since they converted all the ponies to Christianity. On this day, like all ponies, was Snips's baptism into the church, Father Abaya was in charge, things ensue.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore...

Published 2013-03-31 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-31 03:10:01 UTC

What am I doing with my free time...?

It was the dawn of the 25th anniversary of Princess Luna’s return when they struck their hateful cunts into the lands of Cartoon Rohan. They stuck their forks into our pigs, their swines into our mares, and their religion into our lives. There was nothing that could stop these monsters, we fell from our cities, one by one, the purging of a thousand clits was upon us at the highest capacity known to Trekkie’s.

Our fates were sealed, our asses were locked from sodomy, and our princesses were turned into nuns. Our whores were turned into proper mares, our coltcuddlers turned into... straight ponies... Their influence had turned quite influentially infamous among the thoughts and minds of Cartoon Rohan Land, founded by George Lopez, 1969.

Our hero had faded from existence...Our asses were forever unwithered.

Ponyville was hit hard when they came to convert, the so called mane six were all executed for being fillyfoolers, and Big Mac was turned into a slave from the whore he was.

But out of all the controlled chaos, sat Snips, this unicorn that was not yet of age to be considered a colt. His young body was fresh, scented of newly cut paper from the Forest of Lumber Companies. He sat in the newly made church in Ponyville, Le Faithly of Saint Peter of Jerome, patiently waiting for the fine liquids to be drenched over his head and all over his luscious body, the taste of strawberries filled his mouth, the moisture of fine apple wine going throughout his entire body, it was ready, more prepared than a barrel of sarsaparilla in an Appleloosa bar.

“S-Sir...?” Snips called for Father Abaya, who was in the backroom of the church, preparing a treat for Snips before the ceremony.

He came into Snip’s view with an uncanny ice cream cone, the flavor looked that of vanilla but not quite so. “Yes, child?” Father Abaya handed Snips the treat, he grabbed it and licked it down quickly, the taste of salt was heavy in this flavor, as was the sogginess of the cone.

“W-What flavor is this...?” Snips asked with the awkward taste in his mouth.

“It’s my own special recipe, do you like it?” He got out his magic pixie wand, swishing and flicking in all directions.

“Well, it’s no strawberry caramel, what did you put in this? It’s nothing like the stuff we get served at Sugarcube corner, mister.” Snips explained, licking more of the mysterious cream down, trying to savour the new flavor brought unto this world by his one and only true priest.

“Oh nothing special, just.. milk, some flavor enhancers, my uhh... special ingredient.” This ingredient mentioning startled the young colt, his anus closing from fear, as it always had ever since he got his cutie mark from giving vasectomies, as his father always said, “when life gets hard, just start snipping.”

“Could you t-tell me what this ingredient is, Father?” The sphincter was as squinched as it could ever be, nothing would be able to penetrate it at this density.

“If I told you...” Father Abaya began, “I’d have to do things to you... unspeakable things...”

“W-What kind of unspeakable things, Father?” The silly willy colt asked with his cuddly wuddly hooves, their majestic, shining beauty gleamed against Abaya’s face.

“I just told you, unspeak-,” Abaya cut off, closing his hands towards the sexy colts chest, “Tickle fight!” His fingers brushed against the colt in the most nonsexual way possible, filling the colt with laughter, the rectum began to loosen as another part began to harden, his arthritis.

“Oh!” Snips laughed, “Father, no, stop it, you’re making me, ahh!” He began to turn super saiyan, furnituring his body into an intense fighting robot from Tanzania.

“Yes, yes!” Abaya moaned, his phone vibrating inside of his pocket, “Uhh... time out, Snips.” He grabbed for the junk in his pocket, wobbling his hand around for an excessive amount of time. “Yes?” He answered, “Got it, we’ll have the child ready for the others by then.” He hung up, leaving Snips confused and unhappy with the time that no tickling occurred.

“What was that all about, Father Abaya?” Snips gave his puppy dog face to get the answer out.

“That was your destiny calling, Snips, and God says we have to put you in safe water soon or you’ll never go to heaven.” Abaya explained, completing the sign of the cross onto his body. “Come, we must perform this now or never, are you sure you’re ready to be baptised under the name of our god, the only true creational being?”

“I’m ready, Abaya.” He lead Snips towards the fountain of holy water.

“Then I baptize you in the name of the father, the son, the-” He dunked Snips into the water, but he did not rise, in the light of the church formed the darkness of another scenario, the water intruded into Snips lungs as he passed into the unconsciousness of the voided oblivion.

They stormed in, men in black robes, their so called books of god were only a ruse to hold their fine oils and lubricants.

“Is he out?” asked the biggest of the men, his robe already off with the rich oil being plastered all over the genitalia of their lord.

“I believe so,” Father Abaya said, poking Snips with a random stick because logic.

They gathered around his body, chanting in a circle jerk formation, applying lubricants on each other, preparing the body to be gang raped for many minutes, they tossed his body around as if it were a puppet, filling it with their liquids because this was the only thing their god would allow for them to have sex with for some reason.

It was after the 4th man had finished that his body awoke, the confused colt looked deeply into the eyes of Father Abaya, his words were innocent, they were bright, they were cute, “B-But I-I poop from there...” Snips said, rubbing his ass.

“Not right now, you don’t.”

Author's Note

I..
I don't know...