See through my Scars
The Toxicity of a miserable life
Load Full Story"Hey Pinkiemena!" A yellow mare said . I felt warmth fill my whole body. No words to describe how amazing it felt to see her... just say "Hi" to me. "Uh.. Hey!" Ponys started coming up battling for a chance to talk to me. I felt like i was going to explode.. Whats this? there faces were blurring.. my heart sinking.. hopes. crashing..
I woke up to a scream
"PINKAMENA DOWN HERE NOW. GET YOUR BUCKING BREAKFAST"
I stirred in my bed, wanting to go back to the fantasy of my dreams, but instead only came back to my mundane reality. My emotions, my heart screamed to stay glued to my bed. My experience said otherwise. I heard hoofsteps and immediately jumped up and ran bumping into Inky Pie. "Watch it!" She pushed me aside , like I was just another rock. "I SWEAR IM GOING TO BUCKING -" I ran in and she set a plate down that had
stale bread. "Mothe-" "No Talking" Mother said quickly and slapped me across the face, leaving a stinging area on my cheek. She turned to her plate with Apple fritters, Hay, Bacon, Eggs, and more mouthwatering items. I reached for an apple fritter and in return received a heavy shove instead of a decent breakfast. I fell and hit my head. The pain overtook my head the minute it crashed against the ground. Before I could even get up she said in a monotone voice "Work. Now." I put my hoof down to support my weight and quickly got up. I galloped outside and went to work. I looked at the city in the distance. All the ponies laughing and singing. Why couldn't I be in there? I imagined myself living there with warm welcomes and laughter ringing through the town everyday, instead of living with constant abuse and absolutely horrible family. They could be considered a form of torture. Daydreaming, feeling cozy and at home, I woke to reality as I
realized I had finished work.. feeling decrepit, I yearned for bed... maybe nopony would notice if I just lay down right he- "FEED THE ANIMALS THEN BATHE THEM YOU WORTHLESS GOOD FOR NOTHING PEICE OF SHIT." Mother interrupted my thoughts like always. Her constant screaming was the only break in the constant monotony of her voice. I got up and walked to another load of work, waiting for me. I walked out to the field to gather the rocks in the north field, and I tripped and hit my face on a particularly sharp rock, leaving a large gash in my face. I started to cry, but then my father started to yell at me for being "weak" and "useless" and threw a bottle of salted cider at me. I ran behind a large cluster of rocks and cried my pain away. If this is all it takes to crush a fillys life, why do they try and make it worse for us every day? Even Inky and Blinky have fallen to the corruption. They have become malevolent drones of work and constant hatred towards anypony unlike themselves. Sometimes I wonder how they haven't become like me, constantly wishing for a better way. I guess these are the possibilities of an impossible existence. It seems impossible that a filly would ever become so corrupted, but I have firsthand experience that such horrors exist. It darkens my heart, that my own sisters lost everything sacred to their life and turned to loathe. When we were tiny babies, we would play and have fun. Now, they don't know fun. Every time I look into their eyes, I see clouds of confusion, hatred, and fear.
I woke up to a crash.
Mother and Father were fighting again.
While I heard faint screaming, hissing and words I couldn't quite make out the battle raged on, in this sick twisted hell My sisters and I called "Home." I glanced at the alarm clock which was still blaring a noise that sounded like birds unpleasantly chirping. I hit it with such a force from my hoof I would have broken the old thing. Still not fully awake, Inky thought she would "help" me by screaming and practically spitting in my ear to get up. Just one hoof in front of the other... same shit different day. I shakily got up and fell to my hoofs, i kept trying hoping to make it out in time to escape another forceful beating from the stallion I once called "Daddy". I finally realized something was wrong.. The violent screams I was muffling by shoving my hoof in my mouth. Then I realized... I don't remember how I got to sleep last night, and it all came flooding back.
Muffled screams as my face tasted worm infested dirt. My Father was bloodthirsty, and going berserk. He hit me and every hit was another intense, brutal force hitting me on my body. Each brutal beating he laid upon me was in the same spot, as if he was trying to slowly erode my body with blunt force trauma. He punched me in the face multiple times, and strangled me.When he strangled me, I escaped my near-asphyxiation by chomping down on his foreleg. After that, the entropy in his eyes just grew and he tried to beat me again. After all that, he grabbed a broken shard of glass and cut my face, sending sheer pain through my whole body, and a bitter chill ran down my nearly broken spine.I felt blood trickle down my neck and everything went black.
Desperate and distraught, I tried to hide. After thinking about my beatings, I realized he wasn't fighting with Mother.. he wasn't trying to prove anything...
He was thriving to kill..
I huddled in the gloomy, darkened corner, sobbing quietly so my father wouldn't beat me. I quickly poked my ear out to see if he was still with my Mother. When confirmed, I sang:
Its ok, little child. Your going to be just fine, Don't worry. You'll leave it all behind one day... When your darkened by the truth. Put your head up high. Its alright to be scared, it shows your'e still there. When your saddened by the grim reality of the hell you live in, Smile... Smile, Smile. Smile.. Smile Smillee.. If your treated like a scum, Fight back. Even if it gives you a heart attack... Just Danc-
I heard an earth shattering bang, and immediately stopped. My heart pounding I climbed out the window and landed on my hooves. I went to work, trying to save myself from receiving a couple more beatings.. Inky and Blinky were already moving rocks looking as terrified as I was. Then I saw it;. a colorful explosion filled my soul with the urge to laugh and smile. It made my torturous, mundane life seem like a life at the castle of Canterlot itself! Boom. As i was witnessing this unusual phenomenon, I did something I havent done since I was just a little baby. I smiled. I smiled a smile so vast I felt my teeth would fall out and the multitude amount of colors spreading across the sky made me feel exuberant to my very bones.
A rainbow had appeared, and had given me an idea.
