Princess Luna Visits a Wet Dream

by Late_To_The_Party

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna
Length: 4633

Princess Luna sees somepony's dream, one of a more intimate variety. Normally she would just move on without a second thought, but there's something different about this one.

Princess Luna, carrying out her normal duties of watching over the dreams of her subjects, comes across one of a more intimate variety. Normally unfazed by such dreams, this one embarrasses her into leaving quickly. Despite her decision to never think about the dream again—like always—she can't help but remember a single detail from it. A detail so strange she feels the need to talk to the dreamer about it. Unfortunately, she doesn't know who the dreamer was.

Awkwardness ensues.

For more story, read: One Day in the Life of Princess Celestia
For more awkward comedy (and story), read: Everypony Knows About the Wet Dream

Published 2013-04-01 15:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-01 15:00:02 UTC

...or, The Search for a Dreamer

Princess Luna reclined with her eyes closed, smiling gently. To somepony who didn't know any better, she might seem to be dreaming. This wouldn't be entirely inaccurate, but they weren't her own dreams she was seeing. With the moon set in its course across the sky, Luna had moved on to her other obligation as Princess of the Night. Tonight, there was no one having any particularly bad nightmares as far as she could tell, so she simply glided smoothly from one dream to the next, stopping at each one just long enough to confirm that all was well. It was much like a parent peeking into their child's room while they slept, just to ensure they were sleeping peacefully. Very much like that, except she was not, strictly speaking, a mother to any of them.

Once she stopped to assist a dreamer that night. A certain pegasus was building a tower of muffins, but it kept falling over. Thanks to the power of dreams, Luna helped her to build the tower in moments, and in gratitude, she insisted that they eat it together. They demolished the tower, leaving none of the delicious treats uneaten.

Her dreams were some of Luna's favorites.

Luna moved on, continuing to pass unnoticed through dreams, until she heard something she wasn't expecting.

"Oh, yes!"

Twilight Sparkle? Luna couldn't help but to stop for just a second at the familiar voice. Looking carefully into the dream without making herself visible in it, she saw a blur of purple and white, but couldn't quite make out what it was. The purple blur was most likely Twilight, but the other...

"Harder, Princess!"

Luna suppressed a giggle. Knowing Twilight, she suspected it was another dream about a test from Celestia, but Twilight had once again found it too easy and was asking for a more difficult assignment. Luna realized that the white could be the stacks of paper for the test itself. That exceptionally eager, somewhat breathless, tone of voice was common in these dreams of Twilight's. Satisfied that she knew what the dream was, she made ready to move on to the next one.

"Yes! Right there, my Princess Sunnybutt!"

What. Unable to resist, Luna took a step forward, metaphorically speaking. She could now see the dream clearly, but at the same time, that meant the dreamer could see her as well, were they not...otherwise occupied. She tried to quickly determine what was happening and leave before she was noticed, but the scene before her left her somewhat confused. She was in a large room. There were tower windows, but she could see nothing outside, not at all unusual in a dream. The room was well furnished, and looked very familiar. She didn't dare take any more time to identify her location, instead focusing on a large canopy bed on which was the purple and white blur she had seen before. The purple blur had indeed been Twilight Sparkle, and the white blur was not paper, but in fact her dear sister. Both princesses were somewhat difficult to see through their outstretched wings, and the way they were moving while sitting so close to each other made it difficult to tell what-

Oh. Blushing furiously, Luna opened her eyes. She decided she had seen quite enough dreams for one night. Normally such dreams didn't bother her, she just left the dreamer to their fantasies uninterrupted, or sometimes, when they were dreaming about Luna herself, she... Well, anyway, this time was different. Seeing her sister with Twilight Sparkle in that manner had been rather unnerving.

Looking out at her moon slowly moving across the night sky, Luna realized that the night was only half over. She sighed and set her mind to think about things other than the dream she had just seen. She decided not to consider how long the two had known each other. Nearly all of Twilight Sparkle's life. She refused to think about what ponies Celestia cared more for than Twilight. Only me, and I'm not sure about that. She started to pace in her room while she didn't mull over the disastrous political consequences of such a relationship between Celestia and her protégé. The political consequences would be disastrous. She didn't give a second thought to what Celestia would say if Twilight decided to share her hidden feelings for her mentor. Sister might actually be inte-

Luna froze in mid-step. Her eyes widened. I don't know who the dreamer was. It might not be Twilight Sparkle who has these feelings.

She decided to just let the dream go like all the others, and never think about it again or try to determine who the dreamer was. Princess Sunnybutt.

She had to find out who the dreamer was.

If it was Celestia’s dream Luna had seen, the name “Princess Sunnybutt” would never be forgotten, just as Celestia had brought up “Lulu” again after Luna’s return from the moon. In hindsight, Luna thought she should have used that thousand years to come up with more nicknames of her own for Celestia, but she had been a bit distracted with the “eternal night” thing at the time.

The rest of the night was most certainly not spent thinking about the dream she had seen while waiting impatiently for the night to near its end and for Celestia to awaken to begin the day.

Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia of Equestria yawned and stretched in a luxurious manner befitting her title. She gave a small, satisfied sigh and opened her eyes. It was a testament to her incredible self control that she didn’t shriek upon finding her younger sister’s face only inches from her own. Instead, she spoke calmly, willing her heart to slow down to a safer number of beats per minute.

“Are you alright, Luna? Are you so eager for morning to begin that you cannot wait in the throne room as usual? Or at least in the corridor outside my bedchamber?” she added with a meaningful look toward her bedroom door.

Luna didn’t answer for a few seconds.

Celestia saw something strange about Luna’s expression, but it was too early for her to think of a word for it, so she instead focused on more pressing concerns. “Sister, if something is wrong you should have awoken me!”

Luna’s eyes widened slightly. “NAY!”

Celestia barely restrained herself from flinching at the sudden return of the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Luna cleared her throat and continued at a more reasonable volume. “I mean, no, I wouldn’t want to disturb your dreams.”

Before Celestia could respond, there was a knock at the door. A muffled voice could be heard from outside the room. “Your Highness, is everything alright in there?”

Celestia raised her voice to answer the concerned query. “I’m fine, but I am not to be disturbed until further notice.”

“Understood, Your Highness.”

Celestia turned back to Luna. “What is wrong, sister?”

“Did you sleep well?”

Celestia blinked, certain she’d misheard. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe I heard you correctly.”

“Did... you... sleep... well?” Luna spoke slowly, carefully enunciating each word.

Ah, leer. That’s the word for it. Luna is leering at me. “Quite well, yes. Now tell me what the problem is.” Why is my sister leering at me?

Luna looked away. “There is no problem, as such. I was simply concerned that you hadn’t slept well. Did you... have any interesting dreams last night?”

There’s that leer again. “Why would you need to ask me about my dreams? Anytime you wish to see them you have the ability to do so. Last night you did not.” She raised an eyebrow. “Did you?”

“I must confess, I was checking on the dreams of our subjects to ensure all is well, and I neglected to check on my own dear sister.” Luna raised a leg to her forehead, and in that moment Celestia saw a distinct resemblance between her sister and the bearer of the Element of Generosity.

Come to think of it, they sound quite similar as well.

Unaware of Celestia’s thoughts, Luna continued. “I couldn’t bear the thought that there was something wrong and I wouldn’t even know about it, so I needed to check on you as soon as you woke.”

Does she really think I’ll believe that? “Sister, be truthful. I do not want to neglect you as I did long ago. Is there something wrong?”

Luna looked disappointed. “No. No, there is nothing wrong. I have just had a long night.”

Luna watched, annoyed, as Celestia left her room to go raise the sun. She hadn’t given any kind of hint that she felt guilty about anything. But is that calm face due to centuries of practice or innocence? She snorted at the ridiculous notion. Her sister hadn’t been ‘innocent’ for millennia. She still thought it could have been Celestia’s dream, but she wasn’t sure, and to bring up the nickname without knowing for sure would be inappropriate; if Celestia wasn’t the dreamer, she wouldn’t understand the reference. Not to mention it would be a breach of trust between Dreamer and Princess of the Night.

Without proof, then, she had to wait. She decided to watch the dreams of both Celestia and Twilight Sparkle very carefully, in case the dream returned that night.

It didn’t.

Three days later, still bound by Dreamer–Princess Confidentiality (Equestrian Law, Chapter 15, Section 3, Paragraph 5.1), Luna still hadn’t found any proof that Celestia was the one who had the dream, and she was growing impatient. If she couldn’t find the proof in her dreams, however, perhaps there was proof in her room. Does sister still keep a journal? There’s only one way to find out.

As Celestia raised the sun, Luna took to the air, circling around the castle to land on Celestia’s balcony. She quietly questioned the wisdom of having guards posted in the hallway outside the door, while leaving her room completely accessible to a third of the population of Equestria. Did she truly think no one would try to get in that way? Well, whatever she thought, Luna tried and succeeded in getting in that way, walking unhindered into Celestia’s room.

Now, Luna thought, rubbing her front hooves together. If I were Sister’s journal, where would I be?

She made short work of the bedside table, leaving nothing on or in it. There were a few letters, but no journal. Next she moved on to the dresser, then the wardrobe, throwing their contents around with reckless abandon. More than one item found its way down to a poor family of earth ponies living on a farm below Canterlot, and the sale of such items would undoubtedly allow them to live in comfort for the rest of their lives.

Luna looked over her shoulder at the balcony with the sudden realization that she had thrown some items a little too hard. Even as she watched, a dress slipped off the rail to fall to the ground below. Luna shrugged and returned to her snooping. Sister might not even notice. It’s not like she wears the things anyway.

It didn’t take long to destroy most of Celestia’s room. The bookshelf took a little longer, but it was still quick enough to check each book and find that they were not journals. At least, not journals written by Celestia.

Eventually Luna stopped, but only once Celestia’s room was messier than the Cutie Mark Crusaders on any given day. Somehow there was even tree sap and pine needles everywhere. Probably from the small tree she had ripped apart, thinking it fake and a perfect hiding place for a journal. Luna sighed in defeat, and trudged toward the door to leave the room. She stopped just before she reached it, remembering suddenly that there were guards outside and she didn’t want to be seen. The disaster area she was leaving behind had conveniently slipped her mind.

As she turned around to make her escape by way of the balcony, one last hiding place caught her eye. She dove under the bed, wedging herself halfway under it. There were a number of boxes filled with an assortment of papers and books. This had to be it. One of the letters from the bedside table had found its way under the bed and was sitting between her and her prize. Luna narrowed her eyes and reached out to swat the insolent page away when she noticed a word in the letter.

Sunnybutt.

Luna, the Alicorn Princess of Night and Dreams, older than Equestria itself, was wedged halfway under her older sister’s bed and squealing like an excited filly as she read the letter. She could only imagine what her sister would say if she found her like this.

“Luna, what are you doing?”

Yes, that’s probably it. She continued to read the letter. It was from Twilight Sparkle, so it must not have been Celestia’s dream after all. So far, all she had mentioned was that she “had heard an amusing nickname,” but she wasn’t admitting to having the dream herself. At least if she didn’t confess her feelings there wouldn’t be any disastrous political consequences.

“Luna, stop.”

Luna froze. I did not imagine that. Leaving the letter, she slowly pulled herself out from under the bed and stood up straight, turning to find the stoically calm Celestia standing just inside the room. Behind her, the doors stood open, and a royal guard was peeking inside on one side of the doorframe. She made eye contact with him and he quickly spun around to his normal position. He didn’t turn in the slightest to look into the room again, but one ear remained pointed at the royal argument which was sure to begin soon.

Celestia didn’t speak for a moment. She slowly turned her head, her eyes moving quickly, taking in every detail of her room. After an agonizingly long twelve and a half seconds, one of Celestia’s eyes twitched, and she looked back at Luna, still covered in dust and tree sap. Celestia’s horn glowed, and Luna flinched. A sock, surrounded with the yellow glow of Celestia’s magic, floated off of Luna’s back and passed in front of her face before being dropped to the floor.

Celestia took a breath, opening her mouth to speak. No sound came out, and after a second she closed it again with an exhale. She closed her eyes. She opened them and tried again, with slightly more success.

“Luna, I...” She stopped with a sigh.

“I was looking for my birthday present?” Luna asked hopefully.

Celestia’s mouth dropped in shock. She squinted at Luna, as though trying to be sure it really was her sister standing in front of her. She blinked repeatedly and shook her head slowly. She took a step forward. Luna took a step back.

“It is clear to me that there is something wrong,” Celestia said, taking another step. Luna took another step back, bumping into the edge of Celestia’s bed.

“But it seems that, once again, we are beyond talking about it.” Celestia continued to advance, and Luna had no more room to retreat. Celestia stopped inches away from Luna, a look of sadness on her face the likes of which Luna had not seen in over a thousand years.

“So you have left me no choice.”

Luna closed her eyes, awaiting the inevitable. She was surprised a second later when Celestia grabbed her in a hug.

“You know I only want what’s best for you, right?” Celestia whispered. Luna managed to nod. The embrace ended, leaving Luna feeling strangely cold. She heard hoofsteps as Celestia backed away. She didn’t open her eyes, but she could sense a spell was being cast. Suddenly, she felt something soft smack into the side of her head. She jerked away reflexively and opened her eyes to see a pillow suspended with yellow magic.

“If you wanted to make a mess,” Celestia said, smirking. “You do have your own room.” The smile on her face didn’t quite reach her eyes, which were still questioning.

Luna smiled in reply, answering the question Celestia was still silently asking. “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up.”

Celestia nodded, and without looking around the room again, turned and walked out, carefully closing the door behind her. Luna looked around the room and realized it would probably take less time to remove the entire room and rebuild it than to clean it up from its current condition.

I said I would clean it up, so I will... later. She took to the skies and angled toward Ponyville. First, I need to speak to Twilight Sparkle. I must get to the bottom of this Princess Sunnybutt situation. She giggled at her unintentional pun, then winced as she remembered who that nickname referred to.

Luna landed hard on a balcony of Ponyville’s library, thoroughly startling Equestria’s newest princess. Luna didn’t notice at first, as she was somewhat distracted by just how much she liked balconies. They did make for a very convenient way in and out of buildings without having to deal with all the groveling and bowing and asking about Nightmare Night from ponies on the ground. Luna suddenly realized that Twilight was speaking to her from inside the library.

“-alright?”

Luna raised an eyebrow at Twilight. She tried to think of a way to ask her to repeat herself that didn’t require admitting that she hadn’t been listening to a word of it. She couldn’t think of anything, so she decided to pretend Twilight hadn’t spoken at all.

“Twilight Sparkle, it is good to see you. May I come in?”

“Uh-Of course!” Twilight stepped aside, allowing Luna to pass through the door into one of the library’s upper rooms. “I would have thought you’d be asleep by now, Princess. Is everything alright?”

Luna gave Twilight a sharp look. “I do not need somepony else to tell me when I need to rest, Twilight. I promise you, if I do not get enough sleep before the night comes around, I will not complain to you about my tiredness.”

Twilight grimaced. “Geez, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit a nerve.”

Luna sighed. “I apologize, Twilight. I should not have snapped at you. Perhaps I am getting tired. Unfortunately, some things must take priority over rest. I have a matter of great importance to talk to you about.”

“Of course! Is Discord causing trouble again? Should I gather the Elements?”

“No! No. I wish to speak to you alone.” Luna looked around the room. It was empty aside from the two of them. “Are we alone?”

Twilight nodded. “Spike’s out helping Rarity this morning. Well, this afternoon, now. What’s so important?”

Luna took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she was about to say. It felt like a breach of Dreamer–Princess Confidentiality, even though she could technically say she saw the phrase in a letter. Then it was just a breach of Royal Mail Privacy. That wasn’t nearly as bad. She shut her eyes before saying the two words she had to say.

“Princess Sunnybutt.”

Twilight laughed. “What? I thought you had something important to talk about. You built it up like it was the most serious subject you’d ever had to bring up!”

“Do you not understand the implications?” Luna asked incredulously.

“Implications of what?”

Luna sighed, frantically thinking through plans for political damage control if Twilight’s answer to her next question was what she feared it would be. “Have you told Celestia everything?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?”

Luna groaned inwardly. “What did she think?”

“She thought it was great!” Twilight laughed again.

Luna wasn’t able to hold in her groan this time. It was as bad as she was afraid of. “Do you truly not foresee the disastrous political consequences of your decision to tell her?”

“It’s just a silly nickname! What could be so disastrous about that?”

Luna reverted to the Royal Canterlot Voice. “JUST A SILLY NICKNAME?” At the sight of Twilight’s eyes watering and her mane sticking straight back from her head, Luna lowered her voice. “Just a silly nickname?” She furrowed her brow in thought. “Wait, just a silly nickname? What exactly did you tell her?”

“I told her I heard a silly nickname,” Twilight said, blinking and trying to fix her mane. “I told her what it was, and asked if she’d ever heard it before. She thought it was funny, because apparently unlike some ponies, she has a sense of humor!” She glanced into a nearby mirror to check the results of her efforts and snorted angrily when she discovered she looked like she had three horns.

“Where did you hear this silly nickname, Twilight?”

“I heard it from-” she stopped mid-sentence and fixed Luna with a look that bordered on glaring. “You aren’t going to go yell at them too, are you?”

“I will not.” Luna said. “I apologize for shouting, I... misunderstood the situation.”

Twilight nodded hesitantly. “Alright. I heard it from Spike.” She checked to see what time it was. “He should be coming back fairly soon, if you wanted to wait for him.”

“That will not be necessary, Twilight,” Luna said, already making her way back out to the balcony. “Thank you, you have been most helpful.” She took off and as soon as she was out of Twilight’s sight, turned toward Carousel Boutique to search for the baby dragon.

Spike? Such an unusual dream for one so young. I will have to keep a closer eye on his dreams. If he has more like that, Twilight will need to be careful. Especially as he gets larger and stronger.

Spike wasn’t difficult to find. He was skipping back to the library with an armload of gems, eating some of them and singing something about a cake. His song was interrupted when Luna landed a few feet in front of him. He jumped, shouted, and spilled his gems all over the ground.

“Spike, do you know why I am here?” Luna asked.

“N-no,” he stammered, his eyes wide at the Princess’ sudden appearance.

“What do you know about...” Luna looked around and leaned close to whisper the rest. “Princess Sunnybutt?”

Spike choked back a laugh. “I heard it from-” He stopped and swallowed. “-I mean, I made it up! Yeah, I was just sitting around one day, and I said to myself, ‘You know, Spike, Princess Celestia has a picture of the sun on her butt, she should be called Princess Sunnybutt!’ Heh heh.” His smile was as fake as his laugh, not to mention his explanation.

“Spike,” Luna said slowly, carefully avoiding yelling at him. “I am tired. I know you did not make it up yourself, so tell me who you heard it from.”

Spike tried unsuccessfully to not look back at Carousel Boutique. He grimaced. “I promised Rar- I promised I wouldn’t say who told me.” He looked up at Luna with wide eyes and just a little bit of a pout.

Luna sighed. “Very well. Gather your gems and return home. I will not ask you to break your promise.”

“Thank you, Princess,” Spike said, visibly relieved.

Luna nodded to him and walked around him, to Carousel Boutique, and what she desperately hoped would be her last stop for the day.

A bell jingled as Princess Luna opened the door.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Where every- Princess Luna?” Rarity practically inflated with excitement, and Luna knew if she didn’t speak up quickly she wouldn’t get a chance to, at least not without using the Royal Canterlot Voice again. That didn’t seem to be very popular anymore.

“Rarity, I have a question, and it is very important that you answer honestly.”

“But of course, Princess!”

“Where did you come up with the name ‘Princess Sunnybutt’?”

Rarity’s already pale face grew even paler, if that were possible. “I- I- I don’t- I- um... dreamed it?”

Luna let out a quiet laugh. “So that was your dream.”

Rarity gasped. “Oh, you... you saw the dream... I, um...” The paleness of her face quickly disappeared as her embarrassment made itself known. She squeaked and hid behind her mane in an extremely Fluttershy-like manner, trembling slightly.

“Not all of it,” Luna said, attempting to relieve Rarity’s discomfort. “I wasn’t going to look into it at all but when I heard ‘Princess Sunnybutt’ I had to know more. Once I discovered what kind of dream it was, I left. Everypony is entitled to their fantasies, and I do not interfere with them.” Most of the time.

“Oh, I see,” Rarity whispered, not looking up. “And how much, if I may ask, did you... see?”

“Only a few seconds of the two... seated on the bed together,” Luna said uncomfortably.

“Oh, th-the two.” Rarity smiled and stopped trying to hide behind her mane. “Y-yes, well, that isn’t a normal dream for me, you understand. I had a long day that day and I was reading a romance novel before bed, well, perhaps ‘romance’ isn’t quite the word for it but-”

Luna interrupted her with a raised hoof and a smile. “I do not judge. No one knows better than I the unpredictability of dreams. Such a dream is not surprising, considering the book and your knowledge of my sister’s close relationship with Twilight Sparkle. What does surprise me is that you would thoughtlessly share the dream with Spike.”

Anger flashed across Rarity’s face and she opened her mouth, but Luna continued before she could speak.

“He did not break his promise to you. He did not tell me that you told him.” Luna smiled reassuringly at Rarity, assuming that she had taken care of the source of the anger. She was wrong.

“I would never be so thoughtless as to tell innocent little Spikey-wikey about something so uncouth!” Rarity took an angry step forward, and Luna took a step back. “He is far too young to even be thinking about such things! All I told him about was the nickname, because I knew he would find it amusing.”

“I apologize, I meant no offense. Obviously it was I who was thoughtless.” Luna bowed her head. “If you will pardon me, it has been a long night, and I must be up again in only a few more hours for another one.” She looked back up at Rarity, smiling mischievously. “Thank you for your honesty. Now that I know where the name came from, I will be sure to never let Princess Sunnybutt forget it.”

“I... would prefer... if...”

“Don’t worry. I will never tell her the name came from you, and certainly not the circumstances around its first use.”

“Thank you,” Rarity said with a sigh of relief.

As soon as Luna left the Boutique, Rarity collapsed into the nearest fainting couch. Opalescence came into the room to investigate the sound since the intruder was gone. She hopped up onto the couch next to Rarity and meowed questioningly.

Rarity looked up at her pet. “Oh, Opal, that could have gone so much better than it did.” She sighed and thought for a moment. “However, it also could have been far worse.”

Opalescence meowed again.

“Yes, far worse. Princess Luna could have seen the part where she and I joined the others on the bed...”

Author's Note

Even I don't know. But if half of you enjoy reading this half as much as I enjoyed writing half of it, then it was all worthwhile. (Or at least half of it was.)

After I wrote this note I honestly had to look up "half" just to make sure it really was a word, because I suddenly wasn't so sure anymore.