The Tale of The Stone-turner

The creature before me was beautiful. This was as to ponies as the ponies were to Earth's horses. It stood a little over my height of six feet, with a long thin horn about a foot and a half long and great white wings that would cause most swans to hide in shame of their own inadequacy. Its coat was a pure white to match the wings while its tail and mane looked as though an aurora simply flowed out from it. The last thing I had time to take in during the half second between my bindings falling and every guard in the room dog piling me was the purple eyes.

I was in pain. Not enough to pulse, yet but it was damn near close. The intense pressure from the sheer number of ponies on top of me was enough to make my vision begin turning a brilliant blood red starting from the center and spreading outwards. Of course, I panicked. Which did nothing to help the situation, causing me to struggle. All the guards on top of me began struggling to pin me properly, which caused a couple injuries and made my vision become red more quickly. I clenched my eyes shut, ignored any pain I could, and screamed.

“GET THE FUCK OFF OR YOU WILL ALL BECOME STATUES!” It wasn't a threat, it was far too desperate to be a threat.

The struggling stopped but none of them made any move to get off me, that's when I heard a melodic voice that made me think of silk running against itself.

“Please remove yourselves from him, I don't think my royal guards would do quite as fine a job as decorations.”

These guys were trained well, as fast as they had piled me they had all lined back up around the room. Panting I rose back to my feet, my vision just barely having color other than red in the corners of it. That came pretty damn close to pulsing the royal palace. Looking to the Alicorn I nodded, still breathing heavily as the red faded from my vision.

“Thank you.” The large pony seemed indifferent towards me.

“Think nothing of it, now I must ask why you have been turning my citizens to stone and why my little ponies would elect to bring you prisoner rather than use The Elements of Harmony on you.” They didn't send message that The Elements didn't work? Must not have wanted to make a panic or something, because marching the one turning half the land into impressively realistic lawn ornaments thru the capital wouldn't do that.

“That's the news I told the guard I had to give you myself princess” Twilight had begun to speak. “We did use The Elements of Harmony, they didn't seem to affect him at all.” If there was surprise on the alicorn's face she was too good at poker for me.

“Oh?”

“Yea, he just walked on out of the magic like it was a cool shower.”

“So I kicked him right in the head and knocked him out!”

“And then we took him prisoner and went camping! And sang a song! It was fun it went, 'Thi-” Pinkie was silenced by a mouth full of marshmallow hoof and it's owner finished the explanation.

“The short version is that we took him prisoner and brought him here to you so you could decide how to approach this matter and determine why The Elements failed.”

The princess stepped towards me, her eyes grew focused as she spoke “You know last evening, I began receiving reports that ponies who had been petrified were returning to normal with no memory of ever having been turned to stone.” My eyes widened.

“Are.. Are they all alright?”

“As far as we could tell there were no adverse effects of having been stone other than the memory loss, if that is what you mean.” I felt like hundreds of stone ponies just left my shoulders. “So now I have to ask you directly, since it appears you had no knowledge of it's reversal, how much control do you have over this petrification power?” All I could do was look down, the weight of the past months had already started coming back to my shoulders. “You have no control over it at all do you?” I bit my lip as I slowly shook my head, my voice coming out shaky.

“It... It just happens when... whenever I'm in extreme pain but don't pass out.”

“WHAT!?” That was Twilight. “You mean this all could have been avoided if somepony had just captured him without roughing him up!?”

“Or just knocked him out immediately” And that was Rainbow Dash. The white alicorn leaned closer to me and spoke softly.

“Now it is clear that The Elements of Harmony did not fail, but simply chose not to punish you for actions beyond your control, however that does not mean we can just let you roam freely and allow this incident repeats itself. So I would ask that you agree to be kept in the palace under house arrest for the night whilst I speak with my sister on a way to handle your.. unique situation.” It was evident I had no choice in the matter, but it was still nice of her to pretend I did. I nodded. “Thank you, guards would you please escort....”

“Stone-turner.” Still liked that name.

“...Stone to an appropriate guest suite and ensure he receives dinner later.” She didn't use the full name, upsetting, but I guess stone is an acceptable nickname. As I was walked out of the chamber by two of the guards I heard the princess begin to speak with the ponies who had brought me here, but didn't really catch any of the conversation.

That princess has to be a tyrant and only acting nice. No just and loving ruler would dare put a guest suite at the top of a tower this high with stairs as the only means up. Gasping for breath I dragged myself on all fours up the next step, it had to be at least my thousandth one and the sun had started to set as we climbed. The guards seemed amused at the sight of me but barely even phased by the amount of climbing we had done.

“Whatever she pays you boys, it isn't enough. Look at you, climbing all these steps in full armor and barely even looking worse for wear. I hate you both.” This got a slight chuckle from each of my escorts, but otherwise they remained none too chatty. That's the boring kind of professionalism, I don't like it. After at least a hundred more agonizing steps we came to a single red door.

“This is where you will be staying while under house arrest. The door will be locked once you are inside. Dinner will be brought up for you in a couple of hours.” With that they opened the door for me, waited until I had dragged myself inside, then immediately slammed it shut and locked it.... Rude.

Stumbling around in the dim light and cursing all those stairs I managed to find a complementary box of matches on a dresser and lanterns mounted along the walls. Putting two and two together I lit the lanterns so I could get a good look at my my 'cell'. The HORROR. The first thing I had spotted was a mirror, and I regretted it immensely. Maybe my looks had been turning the ponies to stone this whole time. As I moved closer and found that the mirror wouldn't crack from the strain of bearing my image I began to take a deeper look at myself. My hair has lengthened and stuck out in random patches, bits of debris strewn thru it. My chin had grown a mighty and unkempt beard while my face in general had mud and dirt covering large portions of it. Overall I gave the impression of being half lion and half ugly. No wonder I scared so many ponies. Looking down at the rest of me I took stock of my situation. My shirt was in shreds and my shorts were no better, my backpack was lost long ago, and my shoes were barely holding themselves together. Moving to examine my arms and legs I found them to be riddled with cuts, scrapes, and minor bruises.

Voicing my disgust for myself I looked back at the room to actually take in what it was. It had simple light colors for the walls with two doors aside from the main one and some kind of tile for the floor. There was a large plush bed and a dresser. Apart from the two pieces of furniture and the full length mirror the room was essentially empty space. Pulling open one of the doors I find an empty closet. Seeing no reason to bother with the closet I close the door and go to open the other one. Beyond this door was a tidy little bathroom very much like one I would find back home. It had a medicine cabinet mirror, a sink with storage space under it, a toilet, and a bathtub/shower setup. Looking behind the mirror I find some soaps and shampoos, while under the sink was fluffy towels and a large rubber apparatus with a pair of shears coming out of it and a pump attached. I recognized this device from a magazine I had stolen in town number.... seven I think it was. It was suppose to be 'The absolute latest and greatest technological innovation for keeping those fetlocks trim and tidy for your lucky mare or stallion!'

After prying the shears out of the device and washing them I set about trimming back my hair and beard. Once I had my hairy situation under control I used the bathroom to take care of all of my bodily functions, ALL of them, it'd been a while since I actually had time I could devout to myself, OK!? And once I had finished taking care of... That, I made a decision that would surely make the lives of every pony in a five mile radius slightly better. I stripped down and took a shower! It feels amazing to take a warm shower after months of being deprived that luxury. I might have dissolved in the water if I hadn't decided eight lathers was enough for one head of hair. Once squeaky clean and toweled off I defeated all purpose the shower had and threw my dirty clothes right back on. I know it's disgusting, but I had no other clothes and I would be damned if any pony was going to see Little Stone-turner in all his glory.

Going back to the main room of my 'prison' I fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling for all eternity minus the time between then and the knock at the door. I let out a grunt of acknowledgment and the door opened to reveal a guard pony pushing in a trolley covered with metal domes, how he got that trolley up those stairs is a puzzle that would haunt my dreams from that day onwards.

“Yer dinner's here. Nopony knew what you actually eat so there's a little of everything, enjoy yourself and try not to break out and go on a rampage.” Chuckling a little to himself the guard left and relocked the door. I like that guard, he's a little less uptight.

After carefully ensuring I only ate things I knew were fruit or vegetable, I had learned the hard way in town two that many pony foods included hay and flowers as ingredients, I blew out the lanterns and immediately smashed my shin into the metal trolley. I didn't pulse, but it hurt like fucking hell. Not quite believing I managed to hit the only damn thing in the entire room I climbed into bed and swiftly fell into a deep slumber.