Doing Discord a Favor

by Viking Hoof

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Human
Length: 1298

You are a Immortal human traveling the multiverse of possibility, you owe the immortal god discord a favor, one of his personifications is being beaten... by magical ponies? Damn discord he drives you to drink!

You are a Immortal human traveling the multiverse of possibility, you owe the immortal god Chaos a favor, one of his personifications is being beaten… by magical ponies? Damn discord he drives you to drink! but the brandy can wait. There is apparently a place with immortals like yourself! Did they accidentally get alien symbionts like you? are they Cyborgs? You pray to Freyja its not another GLADOS. Still if John (your cyborg AI) and Karl (your alien symbiont) don't stop fighting you're gonna have a very bad headache! Wait ohh yeah this Discord person needs your help. its time for Adventure!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-01 23:30:02 UTC

I hate owing favors

It is a planet torn by war. The remnants of four alien species fighting alongside Humanity against the never ending nightmare. It's one of those wars that unite enemies so great and terrible that anything else would be wonderful in comparison. No one knew this truth more then humanity. Only recently had it driven off the Quazta, and before that it had been forced to ignite Luna's atmosphere to destroy the maxcatinaenihjg... maxca's Harvester fleet, and before that Driven off the tepin's slavers and liberated itself, and before that thrown off another enslavement by the tarcinomkk. Yes this new enemy had defeated all of Humanities old enemies and forced them to beg humanity for asylum. Brutalized and scarred, humanity accepted. None of the other races knew that Humanity had fought and defeated the original swarm.

That Swarm had accidently created me, but that is a whole different story.

On the cracked surface of Hel, the large planetoid on the edge of the Sol system, the war still raged, but it was frozen in place. Time was stopped and held in place. On the top of a great mountain stood a soldier. She was the only moving object for light-centuries around. She was Princess/Prince Amelia Johannason Svalbard Vinkind. She was also the immortal military leader, ethical anchor, and biggest sex idol, of the (multi)VerseKingdom of Vinland. She was checking her (multi)Versenetwork mail

" Hmm Dimension+2 system Horizon has a boosted crop output this year..." Was all the Princess said as she checked mail from the five dimension containing the six settled systems of Vinland. Suddenly the soldier swore.

" FRACK!" The Soldier/Princess collapsed forward onto the ground. Uttering more swear words loudly.

"Chaos! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" The soldier screamed out barely able to contain it's rage. Small tears in reality began forming around it.

" Fine, fine I'm out!" The mind of the Soldier spat out a strange serpent via one of the tears. It was infact a Draconequus. " You really out to unclutter that head of yours! I mean really. two hundred years of conflict is no excuse for a disorganized mind.

" It's only a mess because I knew you would mess it up if I left it neat!" The soldier waved her fist at the Draconequus not even trying to hide her anger!

" Ahh how true. Still that is not why I'm here." The Draconequus snapped it's fingers and the freeze that held this portion of the galaxy spread faster then anything could comprehend till all of the verse was held in this frozen state of being. " You owe me a favor and I'm here to collect."

The soldier's wings tore out of the bag they were held in, the crystals bending the sun as they returned to the control of the soldier.

" FINE, but this is the last time! No more favors after this." The soldier was obviously angry, but it seemed to have given in already.

" Yes well once you unclutter your mind, and can stop thinking in the third person. I need you to head to D-76-54 One of the manifestations of me is failing at it's job rather miserably and I need you to find out why." The Prin... I motioned to his appearance.

" I assume that this is the form it comes in?" The Draconequus nodded then morphed back into a... indescribable thing which MIGHT have been its true form.

" Yes it's name is Discord, good luck. Mind the Magical pony Princesses."

" Wait what???" was all I had time to say as my wings finished crafting the portal and I was torn from D-0-0 My home reality.

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I had to make one stop before heading off to D-76-54. It was Dimension+2, Horizon system. It's shattered rip star held the insanely huge asteroid disk (remnants of the old star) in place. The planet that had become a huge center of industry because it held its orbit just outside of the disc. It's massive shipyards produced the Combat Carriers, which was basically a Cruiser/Light carrier hybrid with more oomph.

I stepped into the armory of the orbital station FSS Prosperity. Which true to it's name was quite well to do. Luckily the plebeian made station held true to it's roots. So it wasn't rotting from the inside like some high class love station. It had to be the largest space city in which everyone knew everyone else's name.

AARRRGGg my mind was still a mess. If the strange narration my brain was supplying was any indication, chaos had messed it up right good. I slipped in my wings held against my armored back. Inside was everything I would need to survive in a strange reality. There was my trusty sword , Xeno-Kjufr, My Self made attack Carbine AM-43, and my exploration pack.

I checked the matter to energy converter and the ammunition fabricator. Both were still working quite well, and I left some spilled ammo for scientists to analyze when I got back. Taking the time to weave a small equation, I spread the time freeze across the forty seven realities that the swarm had managed to sink it's talons into. Finally I did one last diagnostic before slipping out of my armor.

I cut out my DNA and collected a sample from D-76-54. according to the scanner, Chaos wasn't kidding. They were actual Magical ponies. I converted my DNA to the new species and re-injected it into myself. FRACK THAT HURT

When I managed to stop convulsing, I checked out my new appearance. Hmm as far as ponies girls I looked pretty sexy. I Turned to my equipment and began shifting it to suit my new form. The armor was easy, and I slipped it back on using the embedded crystals to manipulate it onto my new form. I missed having hands almost immediately, but the crystals held a telekinetic link with me.

I stood up on my hind legs and tested my rifle's new form. It held easily and I could pull the trigger. Using the Crystals in each I slipped on the pack, sword, and rifle. Time to adventure!

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PS:

A quick side note for anyone besides me who happens to actually read my mentally recorded activity log after it is transferred to text. When I say D-0-0 I don't mean its the prime dimension. It's actually D-00-00-00-00-00-00-...-00-21-87-77-37-83-37... So on so forth. the small designation change of D-00-00-00-00-00-00-...-00-21-87-77-37-83-37... to D-00-00-00-00-00-00-...-00-21-87-77-37-87-36. changes the destination by a factor of infinity. The number of possibilities separating two seemingly identical dimension is infinite, and as such any designation coordinate would change based on perception. Perception is the basis of our existence. When a tree falls in the forest it makes a noise it disturbs a butterfly which is caught by a frog which jumps a bit more to the left. That frog lands on your foot ten years in the future, thus you have indirectly heard a tree falling. Since I am only interacting with my reality once I visit a different one and designate it, anyone using the same system would think they are going to the same place (better explained in the polarity of causality by Edwin bastardson.).but! D-00-00-00-00-00-00-...-00-21-87-77-37-83-37... and D-00-00-00-00-00-00-...-00-21-87-77-37-87-36 could never interact anyway, the two being too similar (complete gender reversal is relatively similar) to each other and thus anyone attempting to go to  D-00-00-00-00-00-00-...-00-21-87-77-37-87-36 from D-00-00-00-00-00-00-...-00-21-87-77-37-83-37...  would end up in D-00-00-00-00-00-00-...-00-21-87-77-37-83-37... (also better explained in the polarity of causality by Edwina Bastarddaughter).

PPS:

Note the post entry note was written under the influence of Chaos. as such it should be treated as 100% fact, but is centuries beyond out comprehension. Which means don't think about it, I can't make any sense of it either.