Apples to Apples

by TotallyNotAnyone

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1069

A brief spell of introspection sets Applejack on a new path, which may see her life changed forever...

Applejack gets introspective around the wrong pony(Pinkie Pie), knocking her entire life for a spin as she suddenly learns to see everything from a different angle. Will it turn out that everything she ever knew was a lie? That there's a real Applejack out there that she has to find before she can be happy with herself?

Published 2013-04-01 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-01 05:30:01 UTC

What's It All About?

"Y'ever wonder what's all 'bout?" Applejack mused, partially to herself, in the shade of the apple trees. She'd roped Rainbow Dash into lending a hand with the day's work, leaving her with an unusual moment of peace in between her bouts of harvesting and sorting apples.

"Huh?" Like Applejack, Dash was on her back, but unlike the orange mare, she'd slipped partway into a nap while Applejack had been thinking.

"What's all 'bout, y'know, life."

"Oh, yeah, sure. We all get like that sometimes, right? But then I just think: What's my name? Rainbow. Dash. Style and speed! Pretty simple, maybe you should do the same. Apple. Jack. So you're about apples and... pfff... jackin'... Bwahahaha!" Dash degenerated into laughter before she could finish the other half of it. She hardly even noticed Applejack getting up and heading into town.

"Y'ever get bored with whatcha do all day?" Applejack non-chalantly asked Twilight Sparkle, who was in the middle of the week's third book-reorganizing marathon.

"Yes!" Gasped Spike, desperate for some sanity, and bent double under a load of dictionaries.

"Of course not!" Twilight replied, ignoring her assistant, who moaned and got back to work, "There's so much to do with books! You can read them, you can sort them, you can organize them and-" Twilight's eyes widened, as though she just realized something, "-you can write them! Ooooh!" She dashed over to her desk and began a furious amending of her checklist, as she realized she'd written plenty of letters, essays and reports, but never an actual book.

Sighing, Applejack slunk out.

"Y'ever wanted t' do somethin' that ain't got jack t'do with yer cutie mark?" Applejack asked Fluttershy, who was busy helping a family of bluebirds move into a new birdhouse.

"Oh, well, um," Fluttershy settled down on to the ground, "Sometimes."

Applejack's heart lifted, finally some understanding, "Really nowh?"

"Sort of. But... then... every time I help a cute little animal... all that love," she sighs happily as the bluebirds twitter at her, "Oh, I just couldn't stop."

"Ah guess if y'do somethin' th't pon's don' just take fer granted..." Applejack saw Fluttershy's concerned look and waved it off with her hoof, "Nev'rmind, sug'r, 's just a question, 's all."

Without much appetite, Applejack pushed a muffin around her plate at Sugarcube Corner. The only two of her closest friends she hadn't asked by now were Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Rarity was out of the question, what was the odds that the town's frilliest, froofiest pony could understand her honest, hard-working existential quandaries? And Pinkie Pie was only to be found when she wanted to be ground, or when she randomly bounced on to stage.

Pinkie Pie randomly bounced on to stage, leaning in over Applejack's shoulder, "Hi, Applejack! What's got you so glum and somber? Apple tree sick? Oh, oh, wait, apple worms? Apple mites! Or did somepony eat all the apple fritters that Granny Smith had left to cool off on the window sill? Just a hyyyypothetical scenario!"

"T'ain't none o' that, Pinkie, 'n fact, hardly any o' that seems t'matter much right nowh." She didn't notice Pinkie Pie's sigh of relief.

"Well then come on! Tell your beeeeest friend Pinkie Pie what's got you snifflin'!"

"Ah s'pose t'ain't no harm in tellin' ya," Pinkie drew up a chair and listened eagerly, "'s jus'... some days, 't feels like all Ah got's apples. Buckin' apples, bakin' apples, sellin' apples. Honest, hard work, Ah grant ya that, but ain't much 'xcitement, y'know? An' feels like... hardly no pony ever notices that kinda work. 'tain't flashy like Dash or Rarity. Ain't bouncy like y'all or cute like Flutt'rshah. Th' Princess din't pick'n apple farmer fer her student."

Applejack sighed, "Sometimes Ah jus' feel like th' only pony that ain't cut out fer livin' with her cutie mark th' rest o' her life."

This was serious, Pinkie Pie realized. An existential quandary. A philosophical conundrum and, possibly even, a dilemma. At this moment she knew exactly what Applejack needed, something to re-assure her of her place in the world, that apple farming was a vital brick in Equestria's economy, in Ponyville's survival, and in the belly of every hungry mare and stallion, every filly and colt.

Instead she decided that playing a harmless prank on her friend would be a much faster way to cheer her up.

"You know..." Pinkie said, slyly, waving Applejack over with a conspiratorial look in her eyes, "...it seems like every other pony's happy with their lot in life, right?"

Applejack nodded, sadly, this was what she feared.

"Maybe you're not a pony!" Pinkie bit her lip, almost unable to control her mirth, this was the most innocent-yet-funny prank she had ever played, "I mean, stands to reason! If you're not like every other pony, you've got to be something else!"

Applejack looked up, this caught her attention.

Pinkie rubbed her chin and fixed Applejack with a calculating look, trying to stay serious, "You're not a mule, or a zebra, or a griffon..." Pinkie faked a gasp of surprise, her eyes widening in mock amazement, "Ooooh! You feel like no one's appreciating you, right? Like what you're doing is pointless?" Applejack nodded, "...like you're not getting enough loooove?"

"What're ya hintin' at, Pinkie?" Applejack was eager for her friend to get to the point, sometimes the pink mare could have some surprising insight.

"Why, Applejack!" Pinkie said, grinning, "Haven't you figured it out? Obviously you're a changeling! Changelings need lots of love! You must've been a poor, lost larva who got adopted! And then forgot she was a changeling at all!"

Applejack was amazed, this made far more sense than it had any right to. She almost felt like she should've figured it out herself, "...Pinkie, yer a genius," Applejack patted the earth pony warmly on the shoulder, "And yer th' best friend a mare, or a changelin' as it may be, could ev'r hope fer." And then she was off, fast enough that she didn't hear Pinkie Pie degenerating into giggles as soon as she was out the door.

Applejack wasn't going to forget her friends, or her surrogate family, or Ponyville. But she had to find out if Pinkie was right, and there was only one mare, or monster, who could help her find out...

Queen Chrysalis

With trepidation, Applejack began her journey.