Shining Armor and Cadance do some Roleplay

by Gweat and Powaful Twixie

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random
Length: 5478

Shining Armor has always had a crush on Celestia. Cadance has always wondered if Luna was good in bed.

Shining Armor has always had a crush on Celestia. Cadance has always wondered if Luna was good in bed. Together, the two of them aim to find out the truth. Together, our star-crossed lovers will step into the horseshoes of the royal princesses and have a night nopony will ever forget.

Somehow part of a series about stupid sexiness.

Celestia Ships Herself

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-07 10:30:01 UTC

Shining Armor and Cadance do some Roleplay

Cadance briskly trotted towards the very furthest corner of the grand throne and receiving room. It was dark, just passed nine. The massive galley was only illuminated by faint and sparse gas lanterns. The clop of her hooves were lost in the sheer size of the room.

She smiled when she saw exactly what she was looking for. A big, beautiful, marble column. Despite there being thirty-six enormous, marble columns flanking both sides of the scarlet rug approach to the throne, the furthest one was Cadance’s favourite.

She slowly walked up to it, letting her hips sway from side to side as she did. She walked around it and examined it, never tearing her eyes from this particular staple of fancy construction.

“If I could take you, I would,” she promised. Her hooves ran across its smooth surface. Surprisingly, it was warm to the touch. Some parts of the castle had heating enchants for no real purpose. Somepony once suggested it was for internal temperature control, but that’s stupid because insolation already does that. Another pony suggested that it was some sort of code, and a long message could be deciphered by drawing lines between the warm spots on the floor plan. That idea was pretty cool actually.

Cadance pressed her back to the column, letting the darkness hide her. Instantly stoic, she peeked her head out from shadows, constantly checking each entrance. From the main entrance to each of the six side doors, her eyes kept a constant rhythm.

In the corner, she bare backed a warm column as she waited for somepony to come.

Hours passed and she hadn’t been satisfied yet. She was about to give up when somepony finally came. It was Princess Celestia, exactly who Cadance was looking for. She knew Celest would be here at exactly this time, and in retrospect, she probably could have planned that out a little better. Oh well, she enjoyed her time with the column and sometimes the best things in life are the things you don’t plan for.

Celestia was busy prowling about, her eyes fixed on a small red dot that seemed to shoot across the room and back. She’d spend a few seconds sizing it up as it quivered on the ground in front of her and pounce on it, holding her hooves on the spot. Seemingly catching her prize, she’d peek under her hooves. Upon seeing just an empty space, her face would fall and her eyes would turn misty.

Just as her lips began to tremble and she whimpered, she’d see the dot on her own hoof and paw at it. Excited again, she repeated the process. This went on for some time.

“Infernal dot!” Celestia cried. “I wish only to befriend you and assign you work!”

Cadance counted down mentally. Exactly twenty-six seconds after saying that, Celestia would be vulnerable. She had learned and calculated this routine down to a formula. Months of study and preparation realized into one single moment.

“We are crown princess, Celestia LXIX of Canterlot! We command that you let us catch you!” she proclaimed in her royal canterlot voice.

‘Twenty-four... Twenty-five... Twenty Six...’ the hidden princess counted.

Cadance stepped out from behind the column and lightly spanked Celestia in the flank with her love, instantly knocking her out. It did knock her out however. Celestia toppled to the ground with a small smile on her face. She mumbled to herself.

“Oh, Twilight... You’re getting detention for that...” Celestia sleep spoke.

After dragging the body behind the warm protrusion, Cadance carefully unclothed her. Her lips found their way to Celestia’s neck as she remove her regalia, suckling gently. She stowed the golden, gilded shoes, crown and necklace of the sun princess, stroking and fondling her.... mane. She then placed imitation copies of the regalia back on the Celestia. As her hoof began to move up Celestia’s thighs, Cadance’s eyes flashed green.

She gasped at herself.

“Oh my goodness! Celestia, I think Chrysalis is makin me do naughty things again!” she said as she suddenly found herself love spanking Celetia into a coma. “I’m going to take your magic accessories and go fight her!”

She looked at the unconscious princess goddess.

“Shining wouldn’t ever forgive me if I passed up this opportunity...”

Cadance levitated Celestia and left thereafter.

Shining Armor, the tool, sat in Luna’s room. He laughed alongside the lunar princess kind of like a tool. Every Wednesday, Shining would have a little get together with the princess. While Twilight was certainly the main egghead of the family, Shining Armor was just as interested in science. He actually had a burning passion for all things academic, but his repeated failures kept him out of the respectable, scholarly world. He was also a tool. Luna was very much the same way and they confided in each other.

“So, my hoof is vaporizing into gravitational fields, thermodynaclear radium is becoming partial and I still have half a pie left!” the tool exclaimed.

Luna laughed. Her giggles resonated deeply through the cosmos. Her eyes were gentle, but deep, piercing through the stallion, like a nebula, somehow. Her mane flowed gently in a warm breeze that he felt against his heart, driving his desire moonward. It was also starry and such. Her legs were the contour of the heavens themselves. Her tail was the same as her mane, her wings were the night sky, her horn was space-time, her lips were radiation and her flank was string theory.

Needless to say, Shining Armor had a raging nerd-on. This conversation was getting particularly deep.

“We assumeth that thou solved thy problem with bio-secular, combustion matrices,” Luna observed, coming down from a rolicking laughter.

Shining Armor stopped laughing. He narrowed his eyes and huffed subtly.

“Can’t I ever finish a story?” he sneered very tool-like.

Luna still laughed, but she bit her lip. Her giggling died as the stallion glared at her.

She smiled weakly. “Pray, we meant no such—”

“Quiet!” he shouted, bursting out into tears and throwing himself into her lap. Startled and taken back, Luna began stroking his head. She sort of liked it.

“Captain Armor, art thou well?!” she screamed, nearly as loud as he did.

“No!” he whined, much like an instrument. “Nopony ever listens to me, they never let me talk, and sometimes I think Cadance is cheating on me so I pretend to leave and just hide in the closet and listen!”

“Captain! There, there! Do not despair! We shall listen to you and talk to you!” Luna consoled reflexively. She was so taken aback by this sudden outburst that her brain struggled to compute appropriate responses. “What dost thou need?!”

“I dunno!” he cried in a great likeness to tooling. “Also, ravioli.”

Luna immediately bent herself over on the nearest object, in this case her bed. Shining surveyed the flank.

“We will joineth thou in thy closet so thou art not lonely! There we shall listen for thy wife and rutteth her good if we hear her!” she said without reaction to her new position.

Shining Armor smiled. After her return to Equestria, Shining Armor had taken the mentally damaged and scarred Luna and conditioned her to react to certain stimuli. You know, as a joke. ‘Ravioli’ was, ‘present thyself’. It was hilarious at Italian restaurants.

He snapped his hooves, somehow. Now she would needless agree with anything he said.

“Do you think that maybe instead I could just borrow your hoof shoes, neck thing and crown for a roleplay I have later tonight?” he whimpered slyly. “Also, maybe if Cadance is cheating on me you can wait to come to the closet afterwards and then ‘rutteth’ her.”

“Oh, of course! Undress me and taketh us to thy closet! We will not cometh until thy wife does!” she ranted. “After which we shall rutteth her good!”

Shining Armor undressed Luna, removing each piece from her slowly, meticulously, not wanting to damage the goods. After stowing the regalia away, he got up to leave.

“See you around Luna, I’ll let you know how things with Cadance go.”

“Dost thou not wantest me to come with you to thy closet?”

Shining Armor thought. “Hmm... that would be a nice gift for Cadance,” he muttered. “Come to my closet around midnight.”

“Okay.”

Later that night, Cadance and Shining Armor sat at a table. They had donned their stolen ‘Prin-sets’ of armor  for a very intense night of role-playing. Cadance always wanted to spend the night with Luna and Shining Armor always wanted to do the same to Celestia. With their ‘Prin-sets’ they would most certainly ‘Win-sex.’

Miniatures, dice and books laid littered across a gridded playmat on top of the table. Among the miniatures were Twilight Sparkle and her friends.

Also, they were playing a role-playing game. They had finally reached the final encounter of the Elements of Harmony campaign. The couple’s foreplay roleplay to roleplay foreplay was going well.

“Can I use my rod of greater blasting on her?”

“No, Cadance!”

“Can I use my rod of greater penetration?” she asked, looking over her character sheets. “Why are all my items greater rods? Oh, I have one minor ring of rod withholding, did you add that?”

“You bought them, a net, a whip, two paddles, three-hundred barrels of oil, rope, chains, manacles, a rooster, and a dog when you were in town last.”

She swiveled in her chair and looked down. “Yeah, I thought this was going to be a different thing when you suggested role-playing Twilight and her friends as Celestia and Luna.”

“We can stop—”

“No, it’s fine I’m having fu—”

They interrupted each other.

“Where did you get all the in-game currency?” Shining Armor said looking back over the sheets.

Cadance swiveled in her chair some more. “I also have a gambling problem...”

“Alright, well you still have to deal with Nightmare Moon. She’s standing there, what do you want to do?”

“Can I throw my cock at it? I bought one!”

“No, sweetie.”

“Uh right. I cast The Elements of Harmony!”

“What?! You don’t have the Elements of Harmony!” Shining shouted, slamming the table in sudden anger. He accidentally crushed a miniature and pretended not to care.

“Yeah huh! After Applejack saved Twilight, she was able to learn extra feats. Fluttershy’s combat experience put her up two levels which I used to spec into an archmage. Pinkie Pie’s song gave me additional effective casting levels. Rarity completed the serpent’s quest for more experience and Rainbow Dash’s loyalty allows for Red Pegasus circle casting!’ Cadance explained, quite nerdily. “I have all the prerequisites!”

“Give me that,” Shining Armor said, swiping her character sheet. He looked it over and pouted. “But, but... I had a super awesome boss fight planned out and everything...”

“What happens after I defeat Nightmare Moon?”

“Umm, after you defeat Nightmare Moon, Celestia appears and is reunited with Luna.” Shining Armor flitted eyes with her wife’s. “We should probably negotiate Luna’s return.”

Cadance smiled. “Oh Luna, how I have missed you... How I’ve dreamt of you...”

“This, I know dearest sister. I spentest many a nights in thy most sweetest of dreams,” Shining Armor cooed. “But they are past, and now that I standest in thy presence once more. I would not trade that ofr even our dreams.”

The disguised Princess of Love blushed. “Our dreams together should not be discarded so readily Luna. They may have just been dreams, but they are among my fondest memories.”

Shining Armor’s spear was flourished.

“I remember the sweet things you used to pour on me... do you, Lulu?” Cadance continued warmly.

“Of course I do Celly. Twas there ever a more beautiful sight in Equestria? The honey as it ran down thy divine form?” Shining Armor panted. His spear was in tiptop shape. The head was hard and the shaft was sturdy, perfect for penetrating soft tissue. “Thy voluptuous flank as the golden nectar of bees coated it...”

“What about when I popped the jug of milk?” Cadance, the Sun Princess asked. Her smile grew as her husband’s power/weapon did. “Do you remember what I looked like as it splashed in my face and ran down my body?”

He took his spear in hoof. Like a good soldier, he practiced with it daily for the crucial times he’d need it. He took pride in it too. It felt good to do a proper thrust, to swing it around, to display his prowess, especially in public. He was shy at first, but Cadance had convinced him not to be afraid to show off his talent.

Unfortunately it was becoming habitual. He practiced with it constantly as a cure to even the most minor stress. Cadance still recalled the day where he woke up, saw they were out of milk, and speared things for five hours straight. He’d just pick it up whenever he was flustered, and the vigorous motion would help calm him down. It was borderline becoming a problem, but that’s a different story.

Cadance narrowed her eyes as her smile turned into more of a smug smirk. Mentioning Celestia covered in honey and popping a milk jug into her face always got Shining Armor practicing with his spear.

He was about to get lost into his spearing, before he caught on to Cadance’s trickery. “Celly! Your mistress demands your cessation of hostilities against the throne!” he cracked with sudden authority.

Cadance didn’t miss a beat, playing along seamlessly. “Princess Luna! What is the meaning of this!?”

“Thou hast taken the love and affection of our subjects for far too long!”

“It is not my fault! The ponies grow weary in the night! They must sleep some time!”

“The Princess of the Night demands love and admiration. If she doth not receive it, she shall take it by force!”

With his magic, Shining Armor took control of several ropes and anklets strategically hidden around the room, and, in the blink of an eye, secured his wife to the wall. She stood with her backside to him, spread eagle.

He took a whip from a rack and cracked it.

“Luna! This is an act of war!” Cadance protested. “I shall have you thrown in the dungeo—”

Shining Luna silenced his wife with a red ball gag. She screamed, but it remained muffled. Her heart pounded and a spot between her legs grew warm. The first crack of the whip against her flank only added to that warmth.

Princess Luna poked her head through the front door of the couple’s residence. It was nearly midnight and the house was dark.

The door was locked, but Luna didn’t mind. Unlocking locked doors was something she was good at. Among learning lockpicking, she had been quite productive with her time on the moon. Competitive dominoes, amateur architecture, speaking in early modern dialects, tai chi and parasailing were all skills safely tucked away into her utility belt. Most likely all those skills would come in handy by the end of tonight.

“Captain Armor?” she cooed gingerly throughout the dark, empty house.

There was a commotion coming from upstairs.

“Oh, Luna!” shouted a voice from above, ringing through the house.

“Oh, hello—” Luna started to respond.

“Pray, sister. Tease me, make me your slave!”

The sound of a whip cracking shook the air, followed by a scream. After about eight minutes of listening to the noises Luna put it together. Sort of.

“Oh my stars! Cadance is cheating!” Luna exclaimed under her breath suddenly. “What did Captain Armor advise us to do?”

She looked around quickly. She saw a cake, two machines of questionable purpose labeled ‘his’ and ‘hers’, a gun, and a closet.

“Aha!”

Luna mounted the machine labeled ‘hers’, took the gun and shot the closet. Somehow it neither interrupted the action upstairs nor did it surprise Luna when Celestia fell out of closet, writhing in pain.

“Tia!” Luna exclaimed. “Cadance cheateth on Shining Armor!

“What?! With who?!” Celestia asked most appropriately with uniform priorities.

“With Princess Luna!” Pinkness began to riddle her face as the machine sprouted to life and did exactly its thing. She took the cake and began rubbing it all over herself. It crumbled across her chest, spreading messily over her warming body.

“Luna, this is treason. I will have you arrested for your treachery!”

At that moment something happened upstairs that changed everything. The couple’s roleplay had derailed into just that, roleplay. It was getting meta.

“Celestia!” Shining Armor called. “Roll for horniness based body control!”

“Natural twenty!” she replied a few moments later.

“We are slaves to our emotions, Luna!”

Remote kinetic control, activated.

The princesses, Celestia and Luna, were jerked by their heads, hooves and necks to certain positions. Luna was taken off her machine.

“Release me this instant!” Luna whined. “I was not finished with that!”

They were forced into each other’s personal bubbles by this unseen force. Eventually, Celestia was bobbing her head up and down, just above Luna’s crotch area. Luna had both her hooves on the back of Celestia head, pushing her back and forth.

“What the hay?” the sun princess said, baffled.

“Pray tell, what art thou doing Tia?” Luna said with a growing smile.

“Oh, Celestia!” a stallion called from above.

“Captain Shinin—!” Celestia tried to call out, but Luna had pulled her up to her mouth and locked lips with her. Celestia tried to pull away and purse her lips, but Luna had different intentions. The eldest sister squealed as she felt a wet tongue against her lips.

After a few moments of clashing lips and tongues, they were allowed a moment of reprieve as Luna bent Celestia over. Their faces were close. Since their hips weren’t being controlled, they stood there awkwardly. Luna wrapped her left hoof around Celestia’s waste.

“Lulu! What do you think you’re doi—”

Celestia was once again interrupted by one of Luna’s hooves reaching for somewhere soft. Celestia gasped. She tried to stick her flank up higher in the air to avoid Luna’s hoof but she couldn’t escape.

“Oh Tia... I hast not the slightest clue why this is happening, but I have been patient for far too long for.” She blushed bright scarlet, her shallow breath panting in Celestia’s ear. “I deserve this...”

“Lu—Lu!” Celetia gasped. “Wh-what is the meaning of this! You—” Celestia purred. “You’re really good at this...”

“Art thou complaining?

“Of course I’m complaining! You’re my sister!”

“Stop moaning then...” she began to nibble on Celestia’s neck. “Tell me thou dost not want it... It is not like I could stop it if I wanted to.

Celestia couldn’t, her own hoof had moved in and replaced Luna’s. She blushed intensely. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so good to herself. It was so lowly, dirty even. The sheer depravity of performing the act in front of her baby sister was just so wrong. Which is why it was super hot..

“Lulu...” she panted ecstatically. “Dr-dry hump me...”

“I beg your pardon?” Luna exclaimed. She didn’t know what that was.

“D-do not question me.” She tried to be firm, but it just coughed out as more moaning.

“Dry— hump???” Luna asked, completely baffled. She decided to just nibble Celestia’s ear while she contemplated the potential meaning of that term.

Celestia constantly tried to rub her backside against Luna, hopping up as much as she could. She grunted in frustration.

“Lulu! Stop teasing me! I-i want you...” Celestia begged as she made herself scream out.

“I want to use my whip!” Shining yelled.

“Roll to hit!” Cadance moaned.

There was silence.

“Shiney?”

“Uhh... I got a one,” the stallion said timidly.

“Oh... Okay, you either have to drop your weapon or hit yourself.”

Celestia and Luna ignored it and just went back to kissing furiously. Luna had a hard time getting into it though. ‘Dry hump’ was always on her mind.

Cadance’s voice sounded from above. “Luna, must I throw you in the dungeon?!”

Cadance shoved her husband into the next room. Consequently, Celestia shoved Luna through a wall, the side yard, and into the next house. They love-smashed-humped through the wall of some poor pony’s living room.

The room was exceptionally fancy. There were fancy tables, fancy bookshelves and... a chandelier. A big nice one. Also it was Fleur’s house and Twilight Sparkle was there.

“PRINCESS CELESTIA?!” Twilight Sparkle yelled, completely taken aback.

“Princess Selena, what a pleasant surprise.” Fleur de Lis smiled, quite sexily. She wasn’t actually surprised in the least bit.

The two princesses thrashed about until Luna took to sampling Celestia’s sweetness right on top of Fleur’s kitchen table. Celestia fought to muffle her moaning, but a few sweet cries escaped her. While ‘dry hump’ was something that Luna didn’t understand, this was. On the moon, she had gotten lonely and developed a practical, depraved level of flexibility. Fleur watched them, quite amused.

“G-good evening Fleur!” Celestia let out a few short pants, ending in one long, passionate outburst. “Th-this is not what it looks like,” she stammered.

“It seems like everypony has been reading your work, Ms. Sparkle.” Fleur tapped her chin. The supermodel stood up and paced around Luna’s high exposed flank as she went to work on her sister. “The techniques described in your research were found effective, no?”

“I-i-i uhh! P-princess?!” Twilight stared on in a mix of horror and academic curiosity. She had just written a hundred and fifty page doctoral dissertation on the alicorn sexual response last week and the scientist in her was getting the best of her.

“Selena’s technique.” Fleur gestured towards Luna, the scrutinizing glint of a connoisseur in her eye. “It’s quite refined, but ultimately driven by passion. The way she breathes, the sounds she makes, the use of other extremities.”

“Uhhh, right! Of course!” Twilight barked. She was probably going to be tested on this.

Twilight had begun taking notes. Fleur levitated a school mistress’s uniform on: black tights, a white blouse with short tie and delicate, wireframe glasses. She picked up a meter-stick and pointed from aspect to aspect of the scene, describing each part’s significance.

Celestia was both dying and burst to new heights. Now, she was on display for her most prized student as her sister pleasured her. She was completely bound by her hooves, head and neck, powerless to stop her sister’s passion. She struggled against her restraints, trying to get away from Luna, but the moon princess remained glued to her. It was like, freakishly hot.

“You stated in your paper the science of intercourse, but it should be more accurately described as an art form,” Fleur explained. “Now, our two willing and consensual models are a very interesting case.”

“How so?” Twilight asked, now wearing an equally nerdy/sexy schoolgirl outfit. Her mane was tied in a ponytail, she wore long socks. a plaid skir— Actually, just make it anything you want. Nurse, schoolgirl, librarian, take your pick. (I will be imagining her as Caitlyn from League of Legends.)

“They are sisters for one. Incest is a powerful fetish and considering their age, the Westermarck Effect has already taken a strong grip on them. This must be an incredibly sensual impasses to overcome thousands of years of domestic lodging,” Fleur theorized. “Is this true Selena?”

“Mmmhmmm!” Luna hummed, never faltering in her self-assigned task.

Something happened that caused Celestia to scream, Luna to become sudden drenched, and Twilight to say, “Boom, headshot.”

“Ah yes,” Fleur said with a light blush, seeing the two princesses squirm against their deadlocked, invisible hoof and head restraints. “Twilight, love, this quite a display. An meeting of artisans. I... I need somepony...”

Never had Twilight been so thankful that she didn’t need to use her hooves to write. She was busy practicing her own technique and comparing. The exhausted and spent Princess of the Sun, laid there in front of her sister heaving, gasping for air.

“Oh my goodness... Lulu...”

Luna giggled girlishly. “Tia, thou hast soakest my mane through.” She flipped the Celestia over and bent her over the table and stood behind her. Nothing else happened.

The two academics looked upon them, crestfallen. The action had been so smooth, so passionate and it seemed to fall flat.

“Growing shy are we?” Fleur consoled. “Don’t be! I think I speak for the both of us when I say we are captivated and impressed by your performance!”

Twilight nodded quickly in agreement.

“Move, Lulu...” Celestia said, bracing herself.

“Move what?” she said, placing her hooves on her sister’s flank. “I understand not the next step of this specific act. I am a pony of very specific, uncondensed knowledge...”

“Your hips, back and forth.”

Luna moved them from left to right. It was quite awkward, yet somehow attractive, being Luna and all. Pinkie Pie popped out from behind a bush and peered in on the scene. She wore a safari hat and a khaki shirt.

“And here we see the alicorn in its natural habitat,” she said to a camera crew. “Looks like we’re in for a treat though! We’ve stumbled upon two beauts.”

Two camera’s focused in on the now, mortified sun princess. Celestia was also holding a slice of cake she had retrieved from Luna’s chest. It had a single bite out of it and frosting covered her face.

Fleur, in the meantime, had been given Luna a crash course in ‘the next step in the act’. She had gone to town on her sister’s rear end, moving her hips from side to side in the appropriately inappropriate manner.

“Oh, sweetest sister of mine! Call my name!” she called with a massive smile on her face. She finally was ‘dry humping’. Twas the happiest day of her life.

The camera crews focused. Pinkie Pie continued narrating.

“Here we can see the incredibly rare alicorn mating ritual. Long believed to be a myth, this is the first time it's ever been caught on camera! Notice how the female grinds against the other... female.”

Celestia continued to stare wide-eyed as the camera crews closed in. Blinding lights fired on from all angles. Blood trickled out of her chest. She looked at in disbelief. Wait, was she bleeding? Oh, yeah, she’d been shot earlier for some reason. With a gun... because those exist.

Celestia passed out. She didn’t move or topple over, still held in position by the remote control.

“Tia? Art thou awake?” Luna asked. She gave the corpse a strong hump with no reaction. “Fleur, she hath fallen asleep,” said the princess with a hint of worry.

Fleur had taken Twilight to the couch and locked herself in a passionate kiss with the librarian. She tore away for a moment. “Do not trouble yourself! That means you’re doing a fantastic job!”

Twilight pulled her back in and then got frisky.

“Okay!” Luna went back to humping the dying princess vigorously, letting the passion build between them.

Cadance walked in through the hole in the wall.

“Hey Twilight, did you bring any fuzzy handcuffs with you? Shining and I are—SWEET MOTHER OF CELESTIA AM I THE GODDESS OF SEX.”

Cadance’s eyes came to rest on Luna’s lean, strong form as she skillfully delivered justice to her sister. Cadance got like ten times hornier.

“P-princess Mi Amore C-cadenza?” Luna stammer.

“Sorry Cadance, I left the fuzz cuffs at home!” Twilight called back.

Remote kinetic control, deactivated.

Celestia slumped to the floor. Luna took a few cautious steps back as she did. She looked from Cadance to Celestia, slightly afraid.

“It’s a good thing!” Fleur called out reassuringly.

“Luna, come with me...” Cadance beckoned heartfully.

“Will I be...?” Luna replied so quietly, it was almost a whisper.

“In a world... of pure imagination.”

The two princesses, whom were clearly alive, met eyes. Instant passion burned between them. Tonight had been so boring, so meaningless, a night to be forgotten by morning. Their life was as dull a grey as the world that surrounded them and the mundanities had made it seem meaningless. Sometimes all they needed was a little colour— or an orgy involving six ponies and an unconscious, potentially dead, princess— to reintroduce us to what truly makes life worth living.

“Cadance, princess... Y-you are my idol...” Fleur babbled from the side, her eyes suddenly growing huge. “I-i would give anything to spend just one n—”

“Luna...” Cadance said dreamily.

“Cadance...” she replied.

“Luna!” Fleur cried. “She is not yours! She should be mine!”

Fleur tackled Luna. They crashed on top of Celestia’s corpse and broke the table. The noble tried desperately  to tear away a small, silver chain that hung around Luna’s neck. On the end of it was a golden band, a ring.

In fire, it would not heat, but it would show its true power. Magic writing would appear in an old, forgotten language. It listed Cadance’s measurement’s and a list of her fetishes. All of them, in really, really small font. Also, it held her soul.

“Give it to me!” Fleur commanded.

“No!” Luna shouted back.

They both whined and whimpered as they struggled. Luna kicked her, like a total wimp, in the stomach, dropping the noblepony. She levitated Cadance and ran off into the night singing off-pitch notes.

“And oh...!!! Isn’t this amazing...?! It’s my favourite part because... you’ll see!!!” she sang at the top of her lungs. “Here’s... where she meets prince charming...! But she won’t learn that it’s him til chapter three!”

“I see your mind. You will take the princess to your chambers! That will somehow cause the death of us all! Curse you! Luna!” Fleur screamed. “Curse you and all the alicorns!

“Here we see a lesser female of the herd screaming vengeance over a disjointed and forced movie reference. She is very upset over losing her mate. Watch as she changes character without point or purpose,” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Lu-luna...?” Fleur whimpered as she suddenly slipped and fell. “Luna, I’m sorry! Luna!!!”

Fleur ran off into the night after her.

Shining Armor poked his head through the hole in the wall. He wore a goofy, sexed out grim. Strains of various orgyrins and condomments covered the ‘prin-set’.

“Hey, what’s going on in this thre—OH SWEET MOTHER OF YOU!” Shining Armor bellowed upon seeing Celestia passed out.

His heart thumped in his chest and his spear flourished. He let it swing from side to side carelessly as he ran to Celestia’s side. He place his cheek on her chest. He couldn’t feel a pulse, but she was still warm. Good enough. He levitated her quickly and ran out singing. An all male acapella crew spouted from the yard as he ran past them.

“Tip your hat! He’s the king of New York!” they sang.

“How ‘bout that? I’m the king of New York!” Shining Armor echoed quite with a click of his heels.

The sounds of the singing quickly faded into the distance. Only Twilight, Pinkie and Pinkie’s camera’s were still there. The silence grew awkward. They flitted eyes with each other uncomfortably.

“So, Pinkie...” Twilight started. “Are those camera’s really rolling?”

“No, sort of... I’m not sure,” she said sadly. “The network cut my funding.These are actually just our packaging boxes from Sugarcube Corner with live cats duct-taped to the inside. Fluttershy told me she can extract any animals visual memory into video files.”

“How... innovative,” Twilight said half-heartedly.

More silence.

“Twilight, I’m alone tonight... I hate being alone...” Pinkie said finally.

“So, am I... and I know how you feel.”

Pinkie climbed out of her bush and put her pussy cams away. Tonight she wouldn’t be a slave to viewers or ratings, she’d be a slave to Twilight. Twilight also did something, pertaining to the nature of whatever you decided to imagine her as, in the form of a clever sexual innuendo. (post your innuendo in the comments!)

Pinkie giggled shyly.

“What?” Twilight asked with a warm smile.

“It was funny, that thing you did.”

Twilight thought for a moment.

“Pinkie, you’re sick.”

“I know I am, but tonight I want something nicer. Can we take it slow? Like real slow?”

A cool jazz vinyl scratched onto a record player somewhere. The lights dimmed to golden. A tray with a two wine glasses that had previously been in the dark were now illuminated. Pinkie smiled.

“Yeah, like that,” she said bashfully. It was fortunate being a pink pony because that meant this beautiful unicorn wouldn’t see her blushing like mad.

Twilight took Pinkie’s hoof in her own and led her into a slow dance. They swayed back and forth to jazzy beat. The saxaphone, the brush snare, it played to their perfect rhythm. Slowly, carefully, without rushing anything, they let themselves fall in love with each other. If only for the night.

Pinkie hummed along quietly with the music, finally happy.