Reefer Mareness!

by CinnamonSwirltheBreaded

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Slice of Life
Length: 7262

Pinkie Pie is making special brownies for a party, and the CMC aren't invited. Why should adults have all the fun?

When they hear about Pinkie Pie's special brownies, the Cutie Mark Crusaders plan to get their hooves on them. After all, why should only adults get to have 'special' things?

Published 2013-04-05 06:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-05 06:10:01 UTC

Brownies and Fillies

The problem with crusading, it seemed, was figuring out what to do next. Scootaloo frowned as she stared at the checklist in front of her and her two friends; the checklist had originally been Twilight’s suggestion, and even Scootaloo had to admit it made figuring out what to try next easier. With the checklist completed, all they could do is pitch ideas to one another until they found something new to add to the list.

“Well, what about opening a spa?” Sweetie Belle suggested, looking up from the list at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. The unicorn filly had the neatest writing, even if she couldn’t use magic yet, so they let her handle the checking of the checklist. “I know my sis is always going on about the one in town, maybe we could get Cutie Marks in spa-ology?”

“Ugh, who’d want a Cutie Mark in that?” Scootaloo scoffed. If spas were too lame for a cool pony like Rainbow Dash, and they were too lame for her, too!

“B’sides,” Apple Bloom slumped onto the table with a frown, “we already tried hairdressin’! How different cannit be? Seems like we’ve tried everythin’ we can think of!”

“We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Sweetie Belle said, throwing her forearms up in the air with disgust. “If we can’t crusade, how will we get our cutie marks?”

“What about your cousin Babs, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo asked. Apple Bloom’s cousin had recently opened a Manehattan branch of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and from all accounts, it was going really well—although none of those fillies had their cutie marks yet either. “Maybe we could try something she mentioned in her letters?”

Apple Bloom sat up and looked up at the ceiling as she thought, before shaking her head. “Ah don’t think we have a subway to ride, and Babs’ been doin’ a lot of what we’ve already done! It’s hopeless!”

The three of them moaned and slumped forward in their seats, ignoring their milkshakes. The three of them usually met at Sugar Cube Corner after class, partly because it was a bit of a walk to their clubhouse out in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres, but mostly because Sugar Cube Corner had milkshakes and other sugary goods to eat. None of them knew much about cooking. Sweetie Belle in particular was rather bad at it, the only reason she tried to cook at all was because her sister Rarity seemed to really enjoy the nearly inedible stuff. Obviously, none of them were about to get a Cutie Mark in cooking, but thankfully the Cakes were more than willing to provide. But cookies and milkshakes were small comfort when one didn’t know what to do!

“Hey now!” Scootaloo and the rest of the Crusaders flinched as a pink hoof slapped the table in front of them. Looking up, Scootaloo found herself looking into the unusually wide grin of Pinkie Pie. Scootaloo liked her okay, but sometimes she seemed to be more of a filly than they were, especially with her pink-on-pink body and balloon cutie mark. Pinkie Pie seemed excited to see them, but then, Pinkie Pie always seemed excited about something. “Let’s turn those sad frowns upside down!” Pinkie Pie giggled and bounced on the spot. “That rhymed! Do you think I’m turning into a zebra?” Pinkie Pie leaned in frighteningly close to Apple Bloom, causing the yellow filly to try to lean away from the enthusiastic pony. “Do you see any stripes? I hope they’re racing stripes! Then I can go faster!”

“Why would you want to go faster?” Apple Bloom asked in a strained voice. She looked as if she was about to fall out of her seat. Thankfully, Pinkie Pie pulled back to answer, giving her room to breathe and right herself.

“To have more fun, obviously, duh!” Pinkie Pie beamed, before pulling an apron out of her mane and put it on all in the same motion. She somehow produced a dishtowel out of nowhere and started to wipe down the table. “Now what seems to be the matter? You can tell Auntie Pinkie Pie!”

“We’re all out of ideas for crusading for our cutie marks, Pinkie Pie,” Sweetie Belle explained, holding up the full checklist. “We don’t know what to do!”

“Oh! Oh! Let me think!” Pinkie Pie spun around and somehow replaced the apron and rag with a white, unruly wig, complete with a moustache, and a sweater, and sat back on her behind rubbing her chin. “Vait! Zat’s eet! I hafe eet!” Pinkie Pie ripped the costume off, flinging the pieces around and jumping to her hooves again. “We’ll throw an ‘I’m-out-of-ideas party!’”

“That’s no help!” Scootaloo said crossly. They already tried to throw a party to get their cutie marks, it didn’t work out. Probably because of all the injuries. “We meant ideas for getting our cutie marks!”

“You could have a party in the meantime!” Pinkie said cheerfully, either oblivious or wilfully ignoring Scootaloo’s expression. “In fact,” Pinkie Pie slapped a piece of colourful paper onto the table, “I’m having a party tonight! You’re all invited, and it’s just the thing to turn those saddy, frowny faces into happy-smiley faces! Especially my special brownies! They’re the best!”

Before any of the crusaders could get a word in, Pinkie Pie had roller-skated across the room to a couple of waiting customers. Scootaloo was certain she hadn’t had those on a moment ago, but knew better than to question the strange abilities of the pink mare.

“Well,” Apple Bloom said, picking up the invitation with her hoof and looking at it, “maybe a break would be a good idea.”

“Yeah, when my sister runs out of ideas she goes and reads some of her ‘special’ books!” Sweetie Belle added, shaking her head and making her dual-tone mane sway. “Besides, maybe we can get our cutie marks in partying—or food tasting!”

“What do you think Pinkie Pie meant by ‘special’ brownies?” Scootaloo asked, flicking her wings. “Do you think they have extra sprinkles or something?”

“Ah dunno, they sound mighty tasty though!” Apple Bloom said brightly, before looking up over Scootaloo’s shoulder. “Oh hello, Mrs. Cake.”

“Hi girls, what do you have there?” Scootaloo looked over her shoulder at blue confectioner, who was peering at the invitation Pinkie Pie had just left on the table.

“Pinkie Pie’s invited us to a party tonight,” Scootaloo said, scooting her seat over so she didn’t have to crane her neck so much. “There’s going to be special brownies!”

“Oh, really?” Mrs. Cake frowned as she turned to find Pinkie Pie, still skating back and forth—although it didn’t seem like she was doing any actual work. “Pinkie Pie! You can’t invite them to that sort of party, they’re too young!”

“Huh?” Pinkie Pie spun around and blinked in confusion, “Hi Mrs. Cake! Can’t invite who?”

“Them!” Mrs. Cake gestured to the three fillies with her hoof. “They’re only fillies.”

Pinkie Pie glanced from Mrs. Cake to the crusaders, and back again, before her face fell. “Aw, I guess you’re right, Mrs. Cake,” Pinkie Pie held up her hoof it made a snapping sound. At first Scootaloo thought nothing had happened, until she saw a small crocodile pop out of Sweetie Belle’s milkshake and scurry accross the table. It pulled the invite out of Apple Bloom’s hooves, before delivering it to Pinkie Pie, and disappearing into her mane. “Sorry girls, I’ll throw you three a big special party tomorrow night, k?”

“Why can’t we go ta this one?” Apple Bloom said, her smile having turned into a frown again.

“Yeah, we’re plenty old!” Scootaloo said, shaking her hoof at Mrs. Cake. “You’re not our parents!”

“If your parents knew, they’d forbid you all the same!” Mrs. Cake said resolutely, shaking her head. “You fillies should be off doing your homework or chores, not trying to get into one of Pinkie Pie’s grown-up parties. And that’s that!” Before any of them could argue further, Mrs. Cake turned and trotted over to her usual spot behind the counter, gesturing at Pinkie Pie to summon her over. The two grown-ups began having some sort of hushed discussion, although Scootaloo wasn’t sure Pinkie Pie was listening to them anymore.

“Adults never let us have any fun!” Sweetie Belle said crossly, as she pushed her milkshake across the table with a look of disgust on her face. “It’s just like Rarity and her special books. Sweetie’s voice mimicked her sister’s; ‘Oh Darling, when you’re older,’ We’re older now!"

“‘s’bad enough we get talked down to by our classmates just fer bein’ blank flanks,” Apple Bloom grumbled, “now ev’n Mrs. Cake and Pinkie Pie are thinkin’ we’re too young!”

Scootaloo grunted in agreement, before an idea slowly blossomed in her head. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we go anyway?”

“But Pinkie Pie said—” Apple Bloom began, before Scootaloo put her hoof over her friend’s mouth.

“Haven’t you ever heard of gate crashing?” Scootaloo said with a grin, “just because we’re not invited, doesn’t mean we can’t go. We can sneak in, get ourselves some brownies, and sneak back out, with nopony the wiser!”

“Do we really want Cutie Marks in gate crashing?” Sweetie Belle asked skeptically.

“And why would we want’em?” Apple Bloom added, scratching her head just before her big red bow.

“Aren’t you girls sick of grown-ups always saying ‘don’t do that’, or ‘you’re too young’?” Scootaloo asked. “Why should they get all the best things for themselves? I don’t know if we’ll get our cutie marks for it, but I sure like the sound of those brownies!”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at her questioningly, not saying anything, and Scootaloo racked her brain trying to figure out what Rainbow Dash would say in a situation like this. She probably never had trouble convincing her friends to do cool things like this!

“Think of it this way, the best way to be treated as adults, is to act like them,” Scootaloo said finally. “And we want that, don’t we?”

Her fellow crusaders nodded, looking a bit more eager now. Scootaloo pressed on; “So let’s go to Pinkie Pie’s party. Maybe we’ll get cutie marks in being mature.”

“What would that even look like?” Sweetie Belle said, tilting her head sideways.

“Who cares! Are you with me or not?” Scootaloo held up her hoof over the table, and neither of her friends left her hanging. “Right, let’s go get ready, we’re going to need alibis, first off, and…”

*****

Apple Bloom paused, and checked over her shoulder. The coast was clear, so she darted out the screen door and hurried across the yard to the tree line. Unlike Sweetie and Scootaloo, Apple Bloom had chores to do, and if she didn’t do them, she could bet on her older sister getting on her case about them, as sure as Celestia raised the sun every morning. Apple Bloom tried to live up to Applejack’s expectations, she really did, but sometimes they were just too much. Nevertheless, she put a good effort in trying to make it look like she had done her chores properly—but in several areas, particularly her bedroom, she may have… skipped a few steps to save time. Apple Bloom just hoped her sis didn’t look under her bed while she was gone.

She didn’t expect it to take too long. After all they had already tried sneaking around and being ninjas once, and Scootaloo reckoned that this wasn’t all that different from doing that. Of course, they hadn’t been the most successful of ninjas, but maybe that’s because they didn’t have any real missions. Either way, her next stop was the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ Clubhouse.

It had been built into an old apple tree within Sweet Apple Acres, and it had once belonged to Applejack, when she was a filly. Apple Bloom has fixed it up, and now it was hers, or as Apple Bloom liked to think of it, the Crusaders’. It wasn’t too far from her house, either, but the walls of trees gave it some measure of privacy.

Apple Bloom didn’t think she was particularly late, despite her chores. Even so, when she gave the secret knock, both of her friends were on the other side waiting.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were both already wearing their black unitards, and Scootaloo had marked off their target—Sugar Cube Corner—on a crudely drawn map left over from their misadventure in map-making. Apple Bloom had only glanced at the invite, but thankfully she was able to remember the location of the party. In these late days of autumn, they could count on It being dark—and cold—out by the time they found Pinkie Pie’s party. The last thing she wanted was to stumble around town looking for the correct party to crash. Knowing their luck, they’d probably crash a reading party or something, that a pony like Twilight would put on. There’s no way that’d be fun.

“Hey, Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo waved her wing at her, “you ready?”

“Ah guess so,” Apple Bloom closed the door behind her and dug out her black unitard from the ‘Chest of Failed Crusades’, before quickly putting it on. Finally, she turned back to the other two. “So what’s the plan?”

“Simple,” Scootaloo said, clapping her hooves together. “We climb onto a low roof and then we jump across to the Sugar Cube Corner, before shimmying down the chimney and—”

“I don’t want to go down a chimney!” Sweetie Belle protested, frowning at the orange pegasus. “It’s hard enough keeping my fur clean as it is, without getting covered in ash!”

“B’sides,” Apple Bloom said, shaking her head. “We tried jumping from roof to roof, remember?” Apple Bloom shuddered at the memory. All three of them had hit their heads hard that day, and Applejack had grounded her for a week. A whole week!

“Oh, right,” Scootaloo frowned and looked back at the crudely drawn map. “Oh wait, I’ve got it! What if we knocked out the guards and took their uniforms? Then we could sneak into the party and nopony would notice.”

“What guards?” Sweetie Belle pointed out.

“Oh, right. Um.”

“Why don’t we just try a window or the door?” Apple Bloom suggested. The door might not the stealthiest, but if it were a real party, the partygoers probably wouldn’t even notice. It’s not as if they’d be expecting gatecrashers.

“That doesn’t really seem cool enough,” Scootaloo sighed, “but I guess we could try it. Don’t blame me if we get caught, though!”

The sun was starting to set as the three of them set out. Rather than heading straight to the road, where Applejack or her older brother Big Macintosh might spot them, they cut through the orchard until they were far enough away from the farmhouse that they weren’t at risk of being caught. Applejack had eyes like a pegasus when it came to spotting the three of them getting into mischief. If gatecrashing didn’t count as mischief, Apple Bloom didn’t know what the hay did.

By the time they reached Ponyville proper, the sun had almost completely set, causing the lamps that lined the busiest streets of the small town to switch on. This left the three of them in an unusual half-darkness, but thankfully, the streets were also deserted. Apple Bloom and her friends had no difficulty navigating them unhindered by adults asking prying questions.

As they approached Sugar Cube Corner, it was obvious that the party was already in full swing. The gingerbread styled building was lit up like a Hearth Warming tree, and even from a distance, Apple Bloom could hear the heavy beat of a stereo playing loud music. Knowing Pinkie Pie, it wouldn’t surprise Apple Bloom if DJ-Pon-3 was in attendance. Pinkie Pie was not known for half-measures when it came to her parties.

“Let’s get a closer look,” Scootaloo said, darting forward on her scooter. They had decided they’d probably need a getaway vehicle if things went south. Naturally, Scootaloo had offered to drive her scooter with the rest of the Crusaders riding in a wagon hitched to its back. They hadn’t bothered riding to the party, mostly to give the it time to get going. After all, it wasn’t as if they were trying to arrive on time.

The three of them sidled up to the side of the building and, standing on their hindlegs, peered cautiously through the window. As far as Apple Bloom could tell, it looked like a fairly ordinary party, although there seemed to be a number of ponies—like Bon Bon and Lyra—just sitting around bobbing their head to the music. They looked like they weren’t quite paying attention to what was going on, which was odd because the other ponies in the room looked like they were having lots of fun chatting or dancing.

“There’s Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo exclaimed, wings fluttering against Apple Bloom’s side. She tried to catch her balance, but it was too late. Apple Bloom fell into Sweetie Belle with a loud grunt, knocking the unicorn filly over as well. Scootaloo looked down at them with an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Did anyone see Rarity?” Sweetie Belle asked, as she disentangled herself from Apple Bloom and dusted herself off. “Or Twilight?” They all agreed that their families—or Twilight—wouldn’t be happy to see them there, and those ponies were to be avoided if at all possible.

“Pff,” Scootaloo blew a raspberry dismissively, “the only sort of party Twilight would go to is a readathon.”

“Ah didn’t see Rarity neither,” Apple Bloom added helpfully. “So ah guess it’s just a matter of getting in, right?’

“Right!” Scootaloo nodded ecstatically. “Let’s try the windows!”

Immediately, they ran into a problem. While the windows on the upper stories obviously opened, the ones on the ground floor didn’t, no matter which ones they tried. After the fifth, non-functioning window, Apple Bloom began to suspect none of them were even capable of opening—she certainly had never seen them open before. That left only one option; the doors.

“How do y’all want to do this?” Apple Bloom asked, as they stood in front of the main door.

“You open it, I’ll watch inside, Sweetie Belle can keep a lookout for ponies on the street!” Scootaloo whispered. Then she jumped noisily into the bush and spied in through the window to see what was going on. “Aw gross! Two of them are kissing!”

“That’s what ponies do at parties, silly!” Sweetie Belle shot back over her shoulder, as Apple Bloom tried the doorknob. To her surprise, the door wouldn’t budge no matter how hard she pulled.

“Shoot! They’ve locked the door!” Apple Bloom said, scuffing her hoof against the ground in frustration. They must have known we were coming!

“What? Let me give it a go.” Sweetie Belle glanced up and down the street before turning around and gripping the door knob with her hoof, turning it just as Apple Bloom had done, except she pushed in, causing the door to swing open. Apple Bloom took one look at the door and groaned, covering her face with her hooves. She had forgotten that the door swung the other way. “It’s not locked! Come on, let’s get inside!”

Apple Bloom brought up the rear, making sure to close the door behind her, and followed her friends across the room. Scootaloo led the way, and since neither of them had seen the promised ‘special brownies’ through the window, they had concluded they must be out in the kitchen. This meant they’d have to navigate their way through the party without getting caught—or stepped on.

It was only now that Apple Bloom was beginning to realize how out of place they looked in their ninja outfits, but she suspected that she was over thinking things, given that nopony was actually noticing them. As soon as the thought left her head, Apple Bloom suddenly found a big white pegasus stallion standing in front of her, cutting her off from her friends. And by big, she meant huge; he looked like he had muscles on top of his muscles on top of his muscles. He looked as if he’d be stronger than Big Mac, the strongest pony Apple Bloom knew. Oddly, though, his wings were very small, like Scootaloo’s.

Apple Bloom had seen him around town before, but didn’t know his name. His red eyes were even redder than normal, and it took her a minute to realize they were bloodshot for some reason. Glancing around his legs, she could see Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looking back hopelessly. Apple Bloom glanced back at the pony blocking her way, who was staring at her like he had never seen her before, and decided there was no point in being rude.

“Can Ah help you?” She asked, giving him her best, winning smile.

“You can talk…?” The Stallion said slowly, his eyes going wide with surprise. “But… you’re just… so small. How’d… how’d you get so small? Why you so small?”

“Wha…?” Apple Bloom dropped her smile, favouring the stallion with a quizzical look.

“It’s like, you’re, like, a miniature pony.” Apple Bloom noticed the Stallions eyes weren’t exactly focused properly, in addition to being bloodshot, and she started to back away—there was something wrong with this pony. “You’re just so ADORABLE!” Apple Bloom jumped in shock as the Stallion squealed out the last part, and then gave a shocked cry as the stallion swept her up in a chest-crushing hug. “You’re my little pony!”

“What! No I ain’t!” Apple Bloom gasped as she struggled against the white stallion’s vice-like grip. “Let go!”

“Yeah, let her go!” Scootaloo said, with Sweetie Belle echoing her a second later. The Stallion turned around slowly, and his eyes grew even bigger, before he let out a delighted gasp.

“THERE’S MORE!” He bellowed, drawing the attention of the rest of the partygoers. “I’VE GOT TO COLLECT THEM ALL!”

As he roared, Apple Bloom noticed his grip was loosening. She seized her chance and kicked out like Applejack had taught her. It wasn’t a great kick, but it did catch him in the chest. He let out as startled grunt and dropped her. Thankfully, Apple Bloom landed on her hooves, so she scurried over to her fellow Crusaders before the huge Pegasus could recover.

“No! Don’t leave me!” the giant Pegasus said mournfully, as he sat down abruptly. “Why does everything I love leave me?”

Apple Bloom glanced between Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle before turning to the crowd; many of them had stopped whatever they were doing, but nopony was telling them to get out. In fact, they all seemed to be staring at them in confusion until…

“Oh hai!” Lyra said with a giggle, waving her hoof in the air in what Apple Bloom thought was a greeting. “I seeee you...” Lyra made to get up, before stumbling and looking down at her forehooves in shock. “Wha… where’d my fingers go? OH CELESTIA! WHERE’S MY FINGERS?” Everypony in the room turned to look at the green mare, who was staring at her hooves like it was the first time she had ever seen them.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Apple Bloom said, looking over her shoulder at the softly weeping pegasus. “Everypony here is actin’ weird.”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded in agreement, and they continued their journey to the kitchen. Thankfully nopony got in their way this time, or tried to turn them into some sort of toy pony.

The kitchen was as crowded and just as busy as the front room, with ponies milling about and chatting. Naturally, this was where Pinkie Pie was. She was bouncing and skipping around the room making sure every pony within her line of sight was having a good time. Unfortunately, she was circling the central island, piled high with various baked goods, including the infamous special brownies. To Apple Bloom’s dismay, they were obviously the more popular of the snacks—the plate was nearly empty!

“What are we going to do?” Scootaloo sighed, “There’s no way we can sneak past Pinkie Pie quick enough to get those brownies!” As they watched a brown stallion with an hourglass cutie mark trotted up to the plate, taking two of them. Now there was only three on the plate; if they were going to strike, they’d have to do it now!

“I-dea!” Sweetie Belle said. Apple Bloom cocked her eyebrow at her questioningly. “What? That’s what Rarity says when she has a good idea.” The white unicorn pointed to a space under the counter. “Under there, quickly now.”

The three of them darted under the counter, and Sweetie Belle stuck her head out, angling her mouth towards the kitchen. “Oh no!’ Sweetie Belle called out—but not in her normal voice. To Apple Bloom’s surprise, it sounded almost like Bon Bon’s. “Some pony out here is frowning.” Immediately she pulled back into their hiding spot, and just in time for a horrified looking Pinkie Pie to jump out of the kitchen wearing, oddly, a cape.

“Never fear!” the pink pony said dramatically and apparently to nopony, “Pinkie Pie is here! Wherever there is Sadness, I shall be there, to see you smile! And I—” Pinkie Pie frowned and rubbed her chin. “I can’t remember the rest!” she said cheerfully, before bounding into the front of the shop to look for the unhappy pony.

“Now’s our chance!” Scootaloo jumped out, and Apple Bloom was hot on her tail. “Quickly!”

The other ponies in the room ignored them, which was fine for Apple Bloom and the Crusaders, but the counter was a bit too high for them to reach. Luckily, they had practiced solving problems such as this. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle pressed their sides together under the side of the counter with the plate on it, and Apple Bloom carefully jumped up onto their backs, just peeking over the edge of the counter.

Apple Bloom grinned as she looked down at the plate of special brownies. Sure, there were only three left, but that was one each. More than enough, although Apple Bloom did wish there were a few more, given that they had put so much effort into getting to this point. Carefully, she bent down to grip the plate with her teeth... then she looked up, across the counter, to the pony on the other side.

The orange mare narrowed her green eyes dangerously at Apple Bloom. “What in tarnation?”

“Applejack!” Apple Bloom squeaked in surprise, although the plate muffled it slightly. “What are you doin’ here?”

“Wha’ am Ah doin’ here? Wha are you doin’ here! This ain’t a party for younguns!” Applejack frowned. “Did Pinkie Pie invite you?”

“Uh…” Apple Bloom’s mind raced as she tried to come up with an explanation. “We’re gatecrashin’!” Apple Bloom wished her hooves were free to slap her face; she wasn’t at her best today, that was for sure.

“Gatecrashin’, huh?” Applejack started to walk around the island counter. “Ya ain’t invited, and your chores aren’t done, and now you’re trying to steal brownies—and those ain’t for fillies, either! What’s gotten into you, Apple Bloom?”

“Ummm…” Apple Bloom wondered what she should do. The only thing that came to mind was the obvious.

“RUN!” Apple Bloom jumped off her friends’ backs, still gripping the plate between her teeth, and hoofed it to the front door, with her fellow Crusaders hard on her tail. Apple Bloom wove under and around the legs of ponies, hoping to dodge any shots her sister might take at her with her trusty lasso. It wasn’t easy keeping the brownies from sliding off the plate, but she managed.

“Oh hey!” Pinkie Pie spotted them right away, waving her hoof at them out of the corner of Apple Bloom’s eyes. “You three made it! Wait… weren’t you not supposed to come?” Apple Bloom risked a glance as she skidded to a stop in front of the door—Sweetie Belle or Scootaloo would have to open it—and saw Pinkie Pie looked at them in confusion. “Oh well, thanks for coming!”

“Pinkie Pie!” Applejack’s voice rang out as Sweetie Belle finally fumbled the door open and the three of them ran outside. “Stop them!”

Scootaloo jumped off the stairs and half-glided to the bush where she had stashed the scooter and wagon. She hauled it out with a grunt and quickly put her helmet on as she climbed onto the scooter. With a flick of her head, Apple Bloom tossed the brownies and tray into the back before hopping in alongside Sweetie Belle. As she settled in, she glanced back at the party-goers. None of them were following, other than Applejack. But she wasn’t following very quickly; Apple Bloom could still see her sister was struggling to move through the crowd. Pinkie Pie wasn’t doing the cowpony any favours, either. From the looks of it, she was trying to drop a cake on Applejack’s head, for some reason. But Apple Bloom knew nothing could hold her sister back for long.

“Go!” Apple Bloom said, pointing down the street with her hoof.

Scootaloo didn’t need any prompting; she buzzed her wings and pushed off with her hoof, propelling them down the street, faster than any of them could gallop. Within a few heartbeats, Sugar Cube Corner and the party were out of sight. They had made it!

Apple Bloom grinned and held up the plate with her hooves as she looked at the three brownies on it. They were big brownies too, and she could already feel her mouth watering. Of course, she’d be in trouble when she got home. Apple Bloom frowned. Maybe it wasn’t worth it.

“Are they all still there?” Scootaloo asked, glancing over her shoulder before quickly turning back to the road ahead of them.

“Yup!” Sweetie Belle replied. Apple Bloom could see the unicorn was looking forward to eating her share too, but now she was wondering what Rarity would say when she heard what Sweetie Belle had been up to. Then Sweetie frowned as she turned to look at something over Apple Bloom’s shoulder. “Hey, is that Rainbow Dash?”

“What? Where?” Scootaloo looked back and forth, causing the scooter and the wagon to swerve violently as she tried to catch a glimpse of her idol. Scootaloo managed to right the scooter before they ended up head first in a park bench.

At first Apple Bloom couldn’t make out anything—but then she saw a rainbow coloured streak flying over head. She was still behind them, but they were losing whatever lead they had. Wheels were no match for wings at the best of times, and Rainbow Dash was the fastest mare in all of Ponyville. Their only saving grace was the fact that the blue pegasus hadn’t yet spotted them, or so Apple Bloom hoped. They needed a place to hide!

They were still in Ponyville proper, but the town was starting to open up, creating wider and wider open areas, and fewer and fewer hiding spots. The situation didn’t look good, but then Apple Bloom spotted Twilight’s tree home. Scootaloo was the only one of them that read much, and she only read the Daring Do series—whether it was because she enjoyed them or because Rainbow Dash did was of some debate between her and Sweetie Belle—nopony would think to look for them in Twilight’s library.

“Pull over!” Apple Bloom cried, waving her hooves dramatically over her head. “We need to get inside!”

Apple Bloom jumped out of the wagon balancing the brownies carefully as Scootaloo managed to come to a complete stop, skidding slightly while still trying to keep an eye on the blur that was Rainbow Dash. As she watched, the blue pegasus seemed to be honing in on them, until, at the last minute. She swerved off to the right on a new heading that, Apple Bloom realized after a moment, would take her out to Sweet Apple Acres. She probably thought they had headed back to their clubhouse, and that she could ambush them. Once Apple Bloom was sure Rainbow Dash was gone, she turned back to her friends, who by now had stashed the scooter and wagon under one of the low bushes that surrounded the base of the library tree.

“Let’s get inside,” Sweetie Belle said, hopping up to the door, and raising her hoof to open it, before hesitating. “Is the library open?”

“Um,” Scootaloo tilted sideways as she tried to look in the window. “I don’t know. Do you think we should we knock?”

“Well,” Apple Bloom mumbled around the brownie tray, about to agree with Scootaloo’s suggestion, when a sound behind her caught her attention; it was the sound of thundering hooves. There was no doubt in her mind that they belonged to Applejack, and Apple Bloom doubted her sister be so easily evaded as Rainbow Dash had been. “No time!” Apple Bloom grabbed her friends and hauled them insides. She hurried to close the door without slamming it. She paused for a moment, listening, then breathed a sigh of relief.

The library was warm and inviting, and apparently empty. No other ponies were browsing the neatly shelved books—not even the one pony Apple Bloom would have expected to be there, Twilight. Her assistant, Spike, wasn’t anywhere to be seen either. They had the place to themselves until Twilight returned. Apple Bloom looked down at the three brownies on the plate between her teeth. More than enough time to eat these little beauties.

“Let’s eat’em before we get caught!” Apple Bloom said, lowering the plate to the ground in front of her friends. “Ah bet they taste great!”

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo grinned as they all reached for a brownie. Sharing a look, the three friends nodded to each other and each took a small, tentative bite.

Apple Bloom gagged and spat the chunk out, tossing the brownie back onto the tray. Sweetie Belle mimicked the reaction, turning slightly green. They tasted horrible! It reminded Apple Bloom of the time she accidently bit into a worm in her apple. It hadn’t tasted the same as the brownies, but it was still gross—and the worst part was that it had been such a shock. Apple Bloom spat again and realized Scootaloo hadn’t reacted the same way. She turned to look at the orange pegasus.

Scootaloo gave them a weak smile. Her face was starting to turn green, and her cheeks bulged out with what Apple Bloom hoped was the brownies. As she watched, Scootaloo closed her eyes and gave her bite of brownie another slow chew before finally giving in and spitting the half-chewed brownie out onto the plate with a gasp. “How can Rainbow Dash like these things?! They’re disgusting!”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Sweetie Belle said, sticking out her tongue and swiping it with her hooves rapidly as if to clean it. “Why doya yhink yhey’re ‘specusl’ brownies?”

“Maybe they eat ’em t’prove how grown-up they are?” Apple Bloom suggested, even though the idea sounded more than a little insane to her. Why would any self-respecting mare do such a thing. A stallion, maybe, those ponies were always doing something stupid, but mares? Even if Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie weren’t her favourite grown-up ponies, they weren’t stupid—and her sis certainly had more sense than either of them—yet they had all gone to the party.

But Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked at her as if she had just revealed some dark secret.

“Oh no!” Sweetie Belle gasped, holding her head. “What if only ponies who like these things can grow up? We’ll be blank flanks forever!”

Sweetie Belle’s half-baked fear seemed to jog Scootaloo out of her own dazed state. “That’s stupid, Sweetie. Just because we don’t like something now doesn’t mean we won’t and—” Scootaloo’s reassurances broke off as the stairs creaked.

“Hello? Is somepony there?” The three of them turned towards the stairs that led to the upper story of the library just in time to see the Twilight’s purple legs as she descended, and soon her head came into view as she bent down to look at them from the top of the steps. “Oh, hello girls! Finally convinced them to try the Daring Do series, eh, Scootaloo?”

“I… uh…yeah, that’s right…” Scootaloo looked embarrassed and shrugged, glancing at Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sidelong. “You know me, big reader!”

Twilight grinned, and trotted down the rest of the stairs eagerly. “I knew you’d convince them eventually!”

“Now, most ponies like to start with the first book, but sometimes that’s not always the best—” Apple Bloom momentarily tuned the eager alicorn out for a moment and gave Scootaloo a dirty look.

“What’s she talkin’ about?”

Scootaloo scuffed the floor, “I might have said I’d convince the two of you to come along—just go with it!”

“—of course, my favourite is probably Daring Do and the Twilight Princess,” Twilight was saying, turning back to the crusaders while levitating a copy of the book in front of her. It featured the heroic pegasus fighting some sort of shadowy monster with a sword, while a masked, black, imp like creature watched in the background. “But I’ll admit I’m not the most impartial reader. So what do you girls think?”

“Um, well… they all just sound so good Ms. Sparkle.” Apple Bloom offered, feeling as uncertain as she sounded. She wasn’t into reading as much as Big Mac was. “Ah wish we could read them all…”

“Oh but you can!” Twilight said, flaring her wings and sounding even more delighted than before. “I mean, you’ll have to read them one at a time, of course, but you’re more than welcome to check out every book in the series!”

Apple Bloom exchanged a glance with her two friends, both of whom wore uneasy smiles. “That’s great, your highness.” Sweetie Belle said after a moment. Apple Bloom flinched. She had plum forgotten that Twilight was a princess now! As she tried to stammer out an apology, Apple Bloom noticed Spike standing near the top of the stairs shaking his head. He probably saw right through their lies and she just hoped the baby dragon wouldn’t rat them out.

“I don’t need any titles, Sweetie Belle, you know that!” Twilight said, shaking her head. “I’m just Miss Sparkle or Twilight—there’s no need to be formal. Of course, I suppose I’ve always been formal with Celestia and—” Twilight’s eyes went wide. “Are those brownies?”

“Um… yes?” Scootaloo said. Apple Bloom looked over her shoulder at the tray and realized the brownies were mostly still intact. Their spat-out bites were off to the side of the tray and looked small in comparison to the huge brownies.

“We tried ’em and we didn’t like ’em, uh, Miss Sparkle,” Apple Bloom explained, shaking her head.

“Oh, I see!” Twilight stepped over to the tray and sniffed one. “They don’t smell bad—but I guess everypony's tastes aren’t the same… would you mind if I tried one?”

“Not at all…” Sweetie Belle said. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo nodded in agreement. If they got rid of the evidence, they wouldn’t be in as much trouble. Besides, Twilight probably wouldn’t like them either…

Twilight levitated one of the brownies and carefully bit into it,avoiding the bite marks already present bite from one of the crusaders. She chewed slowly as a thoughtful expression appeared on her face. Unlike Apple Bloom and her friends, she didn’t gag or spit it out. Rather, she swallowed it after a moment and smiled, before taking another bite. “They’re quite good,” Twilight mumbled around her mouthful. “Where did you say you girls got these again?

“Oh, um.” Sweetie Belle glanced at Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo. She had no idea what lie to tell—so Apple Bloom had to save the day.

“Pinkie Pie made them… for us,” Apple Bloom fibbed, thankful she wasn’t as honest as her older sister. “She said it was a special recipe, but Ah don’t know how popular it’ll be.

“Well, if they’re like this...!” Twilight said, quickly finishing the brownie—minus where someone had bitten into it, and levitated another to her mouth. “I know I’m supposed to be watching my figure, but these are soooo good.”

“Really?” Scootaloo said skeptically, flicking her wings. “Because I thought they tasted like sh—”

“Don’t finish that sentence!” Sweetie Belle interrupted Scootaloo, in a fair imitation of her sister.

“Are you sure you don’t want one?” Twilight mumbled, polishing off the second brownie with gusto. Apple Bloom blinked as she noticed Twilight wasn’t being as careful as she normally was when eating, spraying crumbs all over the place. She finally understood why Applejack was always telling her not to talk with her mouth full.

“We’re sure—” before Scootaloo could finish, Twilight ate the last brownie whole, then she gobbled up the discarded bits she hadn’t eaten before.

“Great! Spike, take a letter!” Twilight waved her hoof in Spike’s general direction.

“What, now?” Spike asked, pulling out a scroll and quill and bouncing down the steps. “Why?”

“Because Spike,” Twilight’s voice suddenly took on a deeper timbre, as if she was suddenly remembering something very sad. “I never told her how I felt about her!”

“Excuse me?” Spike’s eyes grew wide with shock, “who are you talking about?”

“Who am I talking about? I’m talking about Celestia, of course!” Twilight suddenly crossed the room and collapsed onto her belly in front of the dragon, as Apple Bloom and the crusaders looked on in horror. “Do… do you think she even knows I exist?”

“I’m pretty sure she does,” Spike pinched the bridge of his nose and gave Apple Bloom a dirty look. It wasn’t her fault Twilight had suddenly decided she was in love with their Princess. “Do you really want me to write this?”

“Of course!” Twilight sprang to her hooves and trotted around the room. “Dear Princess Celestia,” Twilight paused and came to a stop, rubbing her chin. “Your wings are soooo pretty!”

“Um, what?” Spike blinked in confusion and he stopped writing.

“They’re so pretty Spike! Pretty, pretty wings!” Twilight collapsed again, giggling and flicking her wings against the floor as if she was trying to fly. It wasn’t working, and Apple Bloom started to pull her friends into a corner to get them away from the crazy mare. She was acting just like those ponies at the party! “And that hair! It’s like… pink… but… like… blue and green too. It’s weird!” Twilight rolled onto her back with a sigh. “And that flank! It’s sooo—”

Before she could get any further, the three crusaders jumped as a heavy knocking came from the door. As they turned, it opened to reveal a very cross Applejack.

“Twilight, have you seen—oh well there you are!” Applejack scowled. “Ah’ve been lookin’ all over town and—” Applejack’s reprimand broke off as she noticed Twilight on her back, staring at her and giggling. “Twilight, what’s goin’ on? Are you okay?”

Twilight flipped over onto her hooves and grinned. She pursed her lips and staggered towards the orange cowpony. “Come here, freckly facey!”

“What in tarnation!” Applejack gasped, starting to back up, “Twilight, what’s gotten into you?”

“Kissy kissy!” Twilight giggled, jumping at Applejack with her lips puckered. And then— !

The three of them were grounded for a whole month.

Author's Note

Yes, I know real life drugs don't quite work that way.

It's called Ponies, people!

Thanks go to HoovesMcCoy for helping edit this story.