Vinyl Crosses Abbey Load

by That Gamer

Rating: teen
Tags: Octavia, Comedy, Random, DJ P0N-3, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 2659

A story in two acts.

ACT I: Vinyl gets zapped by... Something and starts feeling... Something for Octavia. I guess it's just... Pomegranates. I dunno. OctaScratch, I guess. Rated "T" because I always bucking do. Why did you expect anything different?

ACT II (THE ABBEY LOAD MEDLEY): Exactly how did Octavia get to PonyVille? And what do you care? Anyways, this won't answer your question, but I dunno. Read it. Rated "T" because Mbc hgroo szhm'g hfxpvw luu Kvm Hgilpv. Zmw yvorvev nv, rg droo yv yfxprmt slg.

BONUS: Mash-ups of Beatle Brony and Metallica songs based off of Sgt. Hetfield's Motorbreath Pub Band, Masterful Mystery Tour and Abbey Load.

A story in two acts, based off of Abbey Load by Beatallica, one of my favorite bands ever. Cover art done by me, vectors done by whoever. I forget.

Published 2013-04-08 17:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-19 20:59:52 UTC

Act 1/Part 1 - Come Together

VINYL CROSSES ABBEY LOAD
Based off of Abbey Load by Beatallica
Written by That Gamer!
ACT I, PART 1: Come Together

"Takin' a walk, takin' a walk, takin' a walk at ni-hi-hi-hight!" Vinyl sang, annoying Octavia as the two strolled down *pun* Mane Street. (It's funny. Like Derpy emptying Carrot Top's fridge. Or saying "Shut up, Nyx!". Those NEVER get old!)

"I don't even know what song that is," Octavia said flatly, sprinkling on a hint of mild confusion for a bit of texture.

"It's 'Stayin' Alive'," Vinyl told Octavia, sound a little confused as well. "Y'know, by the CeeMemCeeGees? I forced you to listen to it one night, remember?"

"I think I vas knocked out at the time," Octavia reminded her comparde. "Vhy the buck did you do that again?

Vinyl shook her head with a chuckle, (said head shaking accidentally made Vinyl's sunglasses fall off, revealing another one of the thousand pairs she apparently has one) and patted Octavia on the head. "Oh, Tavi, I was just trying to expand your musical knowledge beyond songs that existed years before either of us were born and have never had any influences on either of us."

A confused/offended jumble of word fragments, followed by a growl, was the only reply Vinyl got. Anyways, the two continued on down the road they were on, Vinyl both trying to find her favourite pair of limited executive deluxe prescription sunglasses and pointing out obvious flawls in ponies, which made her forget all about her missing sunglasses.

"Hey, look, here comes old Flattop," Vinyl muttered to Octavia. "Don't you find it weird that he always points out where his hooves are every-time you try to talk to the guy? Well, you haven't and I haven't, but I'm going strictly by what other ponies have told me, which I guess justifies me making fun of him. Anyways, I guess he's so obvious because his hair also extends down that far. Seriously, why doesn't he ever get a haircut? Stupid guy..."

"You shouldn't be making fun of a pony you don't knov anything about," Octavia scolded her dear, dear friend, also keeping her voice to a mutter. This was followed by the two of them looking at the author.

"A-anyways," Octavia continued, looking away from the horrible sight. But before she could continue-

"Hey, it ain't causing me any harm," Vinyl argued in a jovial tone, "and it ain't causin' him any harm. Anyways, why the buck does he-" She then got a face full of brown liquid for about five minutes. "Shoot whatever this is."

"I may have long hair, but that don't meant I can't hear yah!" Flattop shouted, cackling wildly. "Oh, I don't know why I drag this $#!ting thing around!"

Vinyl blinked, standing still for a minute. She licked her face and proclaimed, "Hey, it's coke!"

"You knov that coke can't be brovn liquid, right?" Octavia enquired.

"No, no, it's the drink, not the thing everypony thinks Pinkie take," Vinyl corrected her grey friend. Vinyl licked her lips again before scanning the street for another victim. "Hey, look, it's Rolling Songstone and his mojo filter!"

As obvious as it may seem, he heard that. "Hey, my name is Autotune!"

Vinyl blinked. "Wait, Autotune? I thought your name was Rolling Songstone!"

"Well, my name was The Living Tombstone before some random flankhole made me change my name for some stupid fanfic," Autotune explained with anger dripping from his voice. "Then apparently Rolling Songstone was too 'M.E.T.A.M.E.A.T.", so I had my name changed to Autotune against my better wishes."

"So I guess it's a good way to remember how to count to three!" Vinyl laughed. "Y'know, one name and one name and one name is three!"

"I wouldn't be joking about that," Octavia said, noticing Autotune twitch. "He actually lost his job as a recording artist because his manager thought he was a different pony entirely. He also asked with one and one and one is and-"

"I answered three!" Autotune shouted, interrupting Octavia.

"...Great, nov you're turning into Vinyl..." Octavia murmured to herself.

"Octavia... Dear Octavia Horatio Philharmonic..." Vinyl chuckled some more. "Do you even know which pony you're talking too? I never keep up a current events! Music news included!" Vinyl then looked at Autotune, ignoring Octavia's eyeroll. They stared at each other for a couple dozen minutes before Vinyl broke the silence: "Anyways, I would like to suggest another reason why you were ."

"I know I'm gonna regret it, but... I'll bite. Why?"

"Well, not to say a lot about it, but your mojo filter, your walrus gumboot, the fact that I can feel your disease from all the way over here, the fact that you gotta be a joker 'cause you do whatever you please-"

Before Vinyl could make any more song references to justify the story's title, Octavia dragged her away by her ear.

"I am not a joker!" Autotune shouted before storming off.

"Good Faust, you act just like the author; never shutting your mouth!" Octavia growled to Vinyl. "This is vhy ve can't have nice things!... Either that, or it's the fact that I have to keep buying new cello's 'cause you keep SELLING THEM!"

"I only do it 'cause you already have an Ono sideboard..." Vinyl whispered under her breath.

"Vhat vas that about an instrument I don't know how to play?"

"Nothing!" Vinyl said quickly, doing a zipping motion across her mouth, followed by 'Tavi's and MAGICKED her (Vinyl) way out of her (Octavia's) grip.

A few moments of silence passed, the same amount of time it took me to forget "Life In Equestria".

"You know why he's so good looking?" Vinyl asked out of the blue.

"Like Autotune, I knov I'm gonna regret it..." Octavia groaned before Vinyl responded:

"You can't see him otherwise! I mean... He's GREY for Faust's sake! How can anypony see anypony who's GREY?!"

Octavia coughed.

"A-aisde from you! I can see you perfectly!"

"Of course... Vait, did you say Autotune vas good looking?" Octavia enquired.

"Yeah, sure," Vinyl replied quickly, giving Octavia a dirty look. "Why? Are you saying bisexual or sumthin'? 'Cause I ain't!"

"No, I'm not saying your not straight," Octavia sighed. Ironically, even though Vinyl didn't keep up with current events whether it be related to music or not, she was very careful of her image. Being a wub loving, jazz-piano playing, robotic vampire? Fine! Being a filly fooler? Nope! Nope, nope, nope!

"Damn straight!" Vinyl agreed, nodding. "Like me!"

"I hope this doesn't create any contrast for later," Octavia mumbled to herself.

Vinyl completely ignored what Octavia said and continued on.

"...Hey, you wanna go hit a club or something?" Vinyl suggested, smirking.

"Vhy?" Octavia deadpanned.

"Sugarcube Corner is closed at this time of night," Vinyl explained. "Now you wanna go or not?"

"Urgh... Sure!" Octavia exclaimed. "Let's go to a club or something! Maybe that obnoxious beat can drovn out your sarcastic comments."

"You know me," Vinyl chuckled before going off to the closet club possible. Octavia followed.

Later, at least an hour or two or so, they did arrive at the place: The Cavuren Club.

"The Cavuren Club?" Octavia read the name aloud. "Isn't this that place that used to be jazz-only? Vhy are we here?"

"Guilty pleasures," Vinyl muttered quickly before trotting inside.

"I..." Octavia began before going inside as well.

The inside of the club was... Standard. There was a bar, a stage, some tables and an open floor. What else would you expect?

"I dunno; The Cavern Club?" Octavia replied to the description.

I guess. Anyways, the two sit down at a table opposite the bar.

"I think we should sit over there," Vinyl said, starting to stand up, but Octavia pushed her back down.

"I vouldn't," Octavia warned Vinyl. "I don't go to clubs as often as you do, but let me give you an early varning. If there's a bar, Berry's bound to be there and she's bound to roller-coaster, dovning her muddy vater and spinal crackers, going on about toe-jam footballs or vhatever."

"If you don't go to bars, how do you know that?" Vinyl asked. "Tell me."

"Одно я могу сказать вам, вы должны быть свободны," Octavia replied. "Look, I'll go get us drinks, OK?" She then got up and went over.

"I'll take a shoeshine, no wear!" Vinyl called to her roommate.

"That doesn't exist!" Octavia called back.

"I don't care!" was Vinyl replied. The DJ sighed and... Got hit by a beam of blood sugar sex MAGICK.

"Why did you do that?" Bonbon nonchalantly asked her dearest friend.

"I could see it in her eyes, she was just waiting to sit like I did," Lyra explained.

Bonbon rolled her eyes. "You mean always, don't you?"

"I wouldn't be cracking wheelchair jokes if I was you," Lyra replied, adding a threatening edge to it.

"Right, right..." Bonbon muttered. "Hey, you wanna disappear from this story?"

"Yeah, let's go d!ck around in a DaiHard story," Lyra agreed, the two leaving bits on the table and going home.

As they said, they disappeared from the story entirely. So let's focus on Vinyl. Apparently, that blast of blood sugar sex MAGICK caused Vinyl's vision to go blurry for a second and when said blurriness disappeared, the first thing she saw was Octavia. And, for some odd reason, she wanted them to, for a lack of two words... Come together.

Act 1/Part 2 - I Saw Her Standing There

VINYL CROSSES ABBEY LOAD
Based off of Abbey Load by Beatallica
Written by That Gamer!
ACT 1, PART 2: I Saw Her Standing There

"One, two, three, YEAH!"

The band onstage began playing some kinda rock 'n' roll/beat song. Not that Vinyl cared. She was too fixated on the roommate she previously had no feelings for.

Wow, she looks damn good for a seventeen year old... Vinyl thought, getting a dreamy look on her face that was completely out of character for her. Well, she's actually forty-seven... But you know what I mean, "you" being me. I think. Anyways, damn, she looks so beyond compare. I gotta make a move somehow...

Just then, Octavia looked back at Vinyl and called over to her, "I vas right, shoeshine doesn't exisit, so I'm just going to get you a Nile Ibiza. Is that OK?"

"Um... Sure, whatever!" Vinyl yelled back, knowing at that instant that she'd truely fallen in love.

Octavia nodded and turned back to the bartender.

"Could you two please stop shouting at each other?" the bartender asked. "She's just across the floor!"

"Vhatever you vant, Gums," Octavia answered with a half-mutter.

Man, I was not ready for that... Vinyl continued to think to herself. I really gotta do something before my heart explodes. I should start simple. Do something completely the opposite of what I did this morning.

So, having gone through that thought process, Vinyl got up and slowly made her way across that room. And, of course, against her better wishes, her went boom while she did so. Anyways, as it was expected, Vinyl made to Octavia, with the intentions of simply taking Tavia's hoof in her's. But...

"Vinyl, are you really that impatient for a drink that you needed to come over here to get it yourself?" Octavia enquired, raising what should be an eyebrow.

"Um..." this was another thing Vinyl didn't expect. "No... I was just going to, um... Take these back to the table for you!"

"I can do so myself," Octavia reminded Vinyl.

"You don't have anything to hold them with," Vinyl argued. She hoped to the high heavens she didn't sound rude, which, if you know her, is impossible.

"Didn't stop me from playing cello," Octavia retorted,

"Well... MAGICK!" Vinyl exclaimed, taking the drinks and going back to their table.

Octavia sighed and shook her at that, going back to said table. Typical Vinyl...

"Here, this is yours!" Vinyl offered. She hoofed Octavia her drink as she sat down.

"Yeah, I made sure to get mine non-alcoholic," Octavia muttered. She took a sip of her drink and commented, "They actually made it that vay. For once. I don't go to bars often, but they alvays get it vrong and I end up not drinking anything."

Vinyl sighed dreamily. "I-I know what you mean. Hey, you wanna dance through the night?!"

"I'd rather just sit here," Octavia, stirring her drink around, said.

"Sure, sure, why not," Vinyl said quickly. Damn it. I thought that would work. Swear I heard a song just about this. Maybe I should try something more... Direct.

"...I heard the guy vho made that drink died," Octavia continued her history lesson. "I dunno if it was recent or not, but I do know that he did pass avay... Really, you should try it."

"Oh, I guess," Vinyl said, getting back to the reality at hand, quickly drinking a little.

"VELL?"

"Damn better then I expected!" Vinyl commented.

"Huh, guessing does vork." Octavia smiled at that revelation.

"Yeah, I know, I've done it my whole life," Vinyl joked. "Speaking of which, I'm gonna guess what you need-"

"Let me guess," Octavia cut Vinyl off. "A date."

Vinyl gasped. "You're a genius!"

"I knov I am," Octavia sighed in an annoyed manner.

"Hey, don't sound like that," Vinyl told her pal. "I really think you do. Just some kind of pony to get you out of the house more often!"

"You first," Octavia growled, rubbing her forehead and downing her drink. "Look... Vinyl... Vinny or vhatever... I don't need you to continue setting me up on dates! I vant to date vhen I knov I found the one vho's right for me! Remember the last date... The last 10... THE LAST TVENTY... THIRTY YOU SET ME UP ON!? I get around more the Bronies think Rainbov Dash does!"

"What's so bad about that?" Vinyl asked in a half-sarcastic manner.

"ONE DROVE PINKIE INSANE," Octavia replied, "ONE NEARLY KILLED ME, ONE HAD ME ROB A BANK, ONE VAS AN AVFUL VRITER!... NO! NO MORE!"

"Yeah, but the problem was those were all stallions," Vinyl, with a sly smile, pointed out.

Octavia suddenly got a lot calmer and confused. "Are you suggesting vhat I think you're suggesting?"

"That depends," Vinyl answered. "Tell me what I'm suggesting."

"Look, Vinyl, I don't tune my instruments that vay," Octavia informed her amigo of the opposite spectrum the genre.

"That wasn't what I suggested," Vinyl said flatly.

"But you knov vhat I mean, right?" Octavia asked.

Vinyl shook her head and Octavia said with a sigh, "I thought as much. Look, I am not letting you set me up on any more dates. Period. It doesn't matter if it's a stallion or especially a mare. Just forget it."

"Well, you haven't heard who I was going to suggest yet," Vinyl said.

"...Then vho is it?" Octavia enquired, still annoyed.

There was a small silence, meant for suspense. Obviously.

"Me!" Vinyl replied. If only you could have seen the small smile on her face when she said it.

"You?"

"Yes, Nyx, me, now shut up," Vinyl told the minor. She then said to Octavia, "Well, what do you think?"

Another pause for suspense.

"OK, nov I knov you're just kidding," Octavia deadpanned, getting up from the table. "You've been sarcastic like this all evening and I'm sick of it. Nov, if you'll excuse me, I'm going somevhere else to spend my time." And, of course, with that, she left.

"..." Vinyl slammed her head onto the table, spilling her Ibizia Nile on th floor. "Damn it." Well... That could've gone better. Like, a whole buck ton better. Guess I gotta be even more direct.

*dong!*

Author's Note

Hey, here's a little sneak peek of what's going to be in the bonus: "Through The Blank Flank", "She Saw That Thrashboom There" and "For Whom (Oh) Fluttershy Tolls".