Rainbow Dash is a Bang-Ended Newt.

Chapters

Chapter 1: Pinkie Pie
Chapter 2: Twilight Sparkle
Chapter 3: Applejack
Chapter 4: Rarity
Chapter 5: Fluttershy
Chapter 6: Rainbow Dash (THE END!?!)
Chapter 7: Badass Conclusion
Epilogue

Chapter 1: Pinkie Pie

What a day it was! Things were happening so smoothly and without problem in Ponyville. There was nothing that could ruin that day, not even Applejack. Well... maybe Applejack.

The birds were singing, the animals were dancing, Fluttershy was having fun with her friends, Twilight Sparkle was reading her books, Rarity was sewing her new designs together, Pinkie Pie was baking her special treats, and Rainbow Dash was showing off her flying skills.

Okay, maybe I lied to you a little bit in that last paragraph. I probably shouldn't have said Fluttershy has friends, that's a little bit over the line.

In other parts of Ponyville, however, people were enjoying themselves. Yes, I said 'people', not 'ponies', get over it. I do what I want.

"Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash!" yelled Scootaloo, in delight. "Rainbow Dash, you're so amazing!"

Scootaloo jumped around on the ground, applauding the multi-colored pony after her latest trick. Rainbow Dash, however, did not even realize until then that Scootaloo was there. She naturally assumed that there were ponies watching her, but hoped to Celestia that that annoying little wannabe pegasus wouldn't show up. She was getting really sick of all the ass-kissing.

"Oh uh, hey," said Rainbow Dash, awkwardly, as she glided to the ground. "How's it going, Scootaloo?"

"Oh just wonderful!" the little pony said, excitedly, "I really like watching you fly. And your form is perfect. You do those flips and things so well and you fly really fast and you always have really neat feathers and you have great hair and you-" The rambling went on and on while Rainbow Dash absentmindedly walked away. Scootaloo followed, however, not noticing any hostility or annoyance from Dash.

"Yeah, yeah, that's great, kid," Rainbow Dash finally said, stopping Scootaloo's endless chatter. "How about we go in Pinkie Pie's shop and get some sweets, okay?"

Scootaloo jumped at the chance for candy. She immediately ran into Pinkie Pie's bakery, ushering Rainbow Dash in after her.

Once inside the shop, Pinkie Pie was happily serving her young customer. Rainbow Dash stood back watching as Scootaloo jumped around with Pinkie Pie, ordering all kinds of different cakes and candies.

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie exploded with excitement.

"DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME BAKE THE NEXT BATCH OF CUPCAKES!!!???" she squealed.

"Well a'course I do!" Scootaloo said. "And Rainbow Dash can help."

Scootaloo turned to face Rainbow Dash expectantly. There was really no way out of it, so she just went into the back room with the other ponies.

"There is where I bake my cupcakes," Pinkie Pie said, showing the other's a complicated baking system that was mostly a conveyor belt, machines, ovens, and vats of hot, pinkish liquid.

"Wow," sighed Scootaloo, "this really is amazing."

All of the sudden, an idea came to Rainbow Dash's mind. This could be her chance to get rid of the annoying pony once and for all. It was simple. Everything was right in front of her. All she had to do was give a little... push,

Moments later, the three ponies arrived on a high ledge, overlooking the whole cooking process. There were all sorts of levers and knobs on a control board near them. Right below the platform they were on was the beginning of the conveyor belt. Anything put on there would immediately go into a mixer full of hot, searing cupcake mix. The aforementioned item would then proceed to go through a cooking chamber, then pressed into different sizes and shapes. It would then be cooled and served to new customers.

Rainbow Dash laughed inwardly. Now was her chance.

"Hey guys," she said. Pinkie Pie and Scootaloo turned to face her. "why not have Scootaloo come here after school everyday and help in the bakery? I bet that would be fun, and maybe she could get a few free sweets?"

"Say, Rainbow Dash," said Scootaloo, "that sure is a mighty fine idea. What do ya say, Pinkie Pie?"

"I love it!" Pinkie Pie responded.

Rainbow Dash smiled. She thought to herself, "Good... good. Now she won't be on my back anymore and she'll be Pinkie Pie's problem. Muahahaha, MUAHAHAHAHA!"

That was when she got too into her own evil scheming. She absentmindedly reared up and swung her legs in front of her like a mad horse. Pinkie Pie dived to the side, but was too late to save Scootaloo. She was knocked off balance and thrown down into the vat of cupcake batter. Then everything happened very quickly. Scootaloo's skin was seared and burned. Screams tore at the air and ripped at ponies' hearts, but there was nothing they could do... Even though they probably could have done something.

Scootaloo was then flung from the batter-mixer to the conveyor belt. Her body was blackened and burned and she convulsed rapidly, in pain. She could make no sound, though, because her vocal chords were seared shut and full of hot cake batter. She could still see, though, with her one eye. The other hung limp out of her right eyesocket. It was still connected by the optic nerve, but badly burned and no longer usable. The other eye, however, swiveled around frantically, looking for help, but no help came.

Of course, the conveyor belt was on the slowest setting, but everyone knew there was no hope in getting there in time.

So there they sat. They sat and watched as the broken body of Scootaloo progressed into the oven where her skin was burned away, leaving nothing but charred muscle and internal organs. An automated part of the machine was put in just in case something like this ever happend. It swooped in and harvested the hide, because you know, you can't let it go to waste.

That's when the shaping machine came into play. A sectioned slicing board, like a cookie-cutter, descended. It slowly pushed down, snapping bones and rupturing organs. Blood squirted everywhere as the cutting machine went down even more. The slicing parts weren't sharpened, so it was mostly just crushing Scootaloo, rather than cutting.

Once it was all the way through, her poorly sectioned body was arranged into cupcake pans. Then she was moved into a cooling unit until she was ready to be served.

"Oh my god," Pinkie Pie said, aghast.

"Yeah," replied Rainbow Dash, "can you believe no one's sharpened your cupcake-cutter lately?"

Chapter 2: Twilight Sparkle

It had been two weeks since the cupcake incident with Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash felt sad and guilty after she had dropped Scootaloo into Pinkie Pie's cooking machine. However, Rainbow Dash did not feel she deserved the treatment she was getting from Pinkie Pie. She had gone to her house and tried to apologize, but Pinkie did not answer the door. And so, Rainbow Dash sat there on the doorstep, waiting. She knew Pinkie would have to come out eventually. She did not, however, seem to realize that Pinkie Pie could just use the back door to get in and out. That was precisely what she did, and Rainbow Dash wasted the whole day there. It was no surprise that everyone who had seen her sitting there was laughing about it the next day. Standing from a distance, you could see Rainbow Dash peeking through the windows and knocking her hoof on the door, and Pinkie Pie sneaking off out the back. It was quite hilarious by itself, but the icing on the cake was when Rainbow stubbed her toe on the post of the railing going down the steps. Except it was worse than that. Her hoof crumpled up and bent backwards, digging into her skin. It almost fell off, but hung on by a very thin piece of skin. Rainbow Dash let out a bloodcurdling scream- "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL!" She then proceeded to rock back and forth on the the ground with ponies crowding around, laughing and pointing. "Get away! Leave me alone! You bastards!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

She ran, or hobbled, away with ponies on her tail, still jabbing insults at her such as, "Hey, clutz! Ha ha, clutzy clutz cluzt! Har har har!" Rainbow Dash was very insulted by all of these intelligent insults and cried very hard that night. She decided, lying in bed with the laughter of the meanies still echoing in her head, that she might as well cut her wrists. So, she went to the kitchen to grab a knife.

A few minutes later she was standing in her bathtub, nose running like a waterfall, tears streaming down her face. "Goodbye, cruel world!" she said, ominously. In a frenzy of slashing and slicing, she hacked away at her left wrist. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she bellowed, in pain. That was the last sound she heard before she blacked out.

...

"I wonder why she would do this," said Twilight Sparkle.

"Oh, it's not really a surprise to me," Applejack said, in her annoying hick voice.

"How?" exclaimed Fluttershy.

"Well," Applejack started to explain, "she has been really depressed since that cupcake thing."

"Ahem," said Pinkie Pie, "did you just refer to Scootaloo as a thing?"

"Well, I mean, it's just Scootaloo..." said Fluttershy, sheepishly.

"Nobody fucking asked you, so shut your whore mouth," said all the other ponies.

"You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken out of turn." Fluttershy slunk back into a corner, hanging her head.

"Anyhoo," continued Applejack, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Pinkie Pie. Please forgive me, I know how much that pony meant to you."

"I forgive you, Applejack," said Pinkie Pie, "and I hope I did not offend you with my tone when I accused you of not respecting my friend."

"Guys," interrupted Rarity, "can we please focus on what's important here?"

"What's so important, Rarity?" asked Pinkie Pie.

"Well in case you hadn't noticed," Rarity said, "my mane in in an atrocious state. I need to get home and groom myself, lest an attractive young colt see my in this condition."

"Oh, come one, Rarity," said Applejack, "you think you're all smart and fancy, but you're not!"

"Uh! I reject such blasphemous speech!" said Rarity. "I will be standing here, not talking, waiting for you to apologize. Humph!"

"I DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU!" yelled Applejack.

Rarity ignored her.

"Listen here, you dumb slut," started Applejack, taking a step towards Rarity, "I've been there for you every single-"

She was cut off by Twilight Sparkle.

"Stop!" she said. "We all need to just sit down and be quiet. Are you all forgetting about why we're here?"

Rarity piped up, "Why yes, to discuss the state of my mane!"

"No! We're not getting started on that again," said Twilight. "We are here because our good friend, Rainbow Dash," at this she pointed her hoof at the unconscious pegasus lying in the hospital bed, "has been severely injured because of our carelessness. We were not there for her when she was lonely and sad. We were her friends, and we betrayed her! We should have loved her like a father!"

"Like a father?" interrupted Pinkie Pie.

"Just... Okay?" said Twilight, trying to articulate that she couldn't exactly explain what she meant by it. "Where was I..."

"You were talking about being there for our friend," chimed in Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, you're still here?" said Twilight Sparkle in surprise. "Huh. Anyways, how could we have just abandoned her and laughed at her incompetence to not kill people? Just because she may be a little different, doesn't mean anything is wrong with her. Pinkie Pie, what do you have to say for yourself, seeing as you were the one who was holding a grudge.

"Well..." said Pinkie Pie, "I felt really angry when Rainbow Dash killed Scootaloo. But I know I shouldn't have been so mean. I avoided her and laughed at her. What kind of a friend am I!" she burst into tears.

"There, there, Pinkie Pie. Are any of us without blame?" said Twilight.

"I am," said Rarity.

Twilight and Applejack glared at her.

"Sorry, thought it might be funny..." said Rarity.

Nobody listened, though. Twilight had gone to put her arms around Pinkie Pie and comfort her. Fluttershy came out of the corner and stood by Rainbow Dash's bedside. She met her closed eyes and held her hoof.

"Rainbow Dash... If you can hear me, I love you, and we're all very sorry for how we acted. Please, please, wake up."

There was no sound except for the beeping of Rainbow's heart monitor and the quiet sobs of Pinkie Pie, muffled by Twilight's shoulder.

When Pinkie Pie had recovered, Twilight let her go and walked close to the bed. She leaned over Rainbow Dash and prayed in that moment of silence that she would come out of the coma.

"Dear God, please don't let her be a vegetable for the rest of her life," Twilight Sparkle thought.

Rainbow Dash's eyelids flickered open feebly, then closed again.

"Guys! Get over here!" yelled Twilight Sparkle.

Everyone crowded around the bed, getting as close as possible to Rainbow Dash, staring at her face. Her eyelids fluttered again. Then, slowly, they opened, in a completely un-cliche way.

"Ah!" she screamed in surprise. She jumped a foot in the air, not recognizing where she was or who the strange ponies were. Her hoof collided with Twilight's nose, the tubes in her arm were ripped out and blood started squirting all over the walls and ceiling, not only from Rainbow's arm, but from the torrent coming from Twilight's nose. Rainbow fell back on the bed, unconscious again. Doctors and nurses rushed in the room, hurrying to Rainbow's bedside. Twilight was screaming on the the blood-covered floor, flailing around.

"Buh bose!" she screamed, "Buh bose!"

Doctors restrained her and dragged her through the swinging doors, blood trailing behind.

The rest of the ponies stood, shocked, when everything had settled. The doctors had stabilized Rainbow Dash's condition and the screaming of Twilight Sparkle could no longer be heard.

"Well," said Rarity, "who wants to come to my place and have a slumber party?"

"Oooh, me!" said Fluttershy and Applejack.

"I'll get some cider from the farm!" Applejack said, as they all rushed out the doors, passing a cleaning crew, on their way to get rid of the bloody walls and floor. The front doors of the hospital closed as Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy ran away into the sunset, planning out the wonderous night ahead of them.

Chapter 3: Applejack

Rainbow Dash was released from the hospital only three days after the fiasco with Twilight Sparkle and her IV. She had received many vases of flowers and "Get well" cards during her stay, but she got no more visits from ponies after she had broken Twilight's nose. It was unintentional, and when Rainbow Dash had woken up the next day, she wrote a very sincere apology letter. Twilight wrote back, saying all was understood, and it was a quick and simple fix with her magic. However, the rest of the ponies were still too scared to visit Rainbow, thinking they would all be viciously attacked.

Rainbow Dash strutted out the doors of the hospital confidently. She received an apology from Pinkie Pie for the way she was treated, and she no longer felt abandoned and alone. That was good, because she was in a very dark hole of depression for a while. She was given a reprimand for slitting her wrist and let go, now that she was fully recovered. She was a new woman.

"What shall I do to celebrate?" Rainbow Dash asked herself. "Hmmm..."

Suddenly, a strange purple dragon floated past her head. It said in a mellow, relaxed voice, "Duuude... Go see Applejack..."

"What a wonderful idea!" Rainbow Dash said. "I really like her! And I'm not just saying that because I'm legally required to by the owners of this show!" she added.

And so, Rainbow Dash hurried off towards Sweet Apple Acres. Off to see Applejack! She liked that. They would make apple cider together, go apple bucking, chase each other around, have races, and maybe if she got lucky, Applejack would realize her true sexual feelings toward Rainbow Dash and they could live happily together for the rest of their lives. Or at least until one of them gets cancer and leaves the other alone and drowning in debt because they didn't plan properly and didn't get life insurance, go into a state of depression and die a miserable death, alone. But Rainbow Dash didn't like to dwell upon the negative, so she continued on her way, only thinking of the happy things she would do with Applejack.

"Ah, Sweet Apple Acres," Rainbow Dash said to herself, as she arrived at her destination.

The farm was doing very well. All the trees were ripe with apples, ready to be bucked. The cider machine was well-oiled and ready to go for the coming cider-making season. Rainbow Dash strolled casually in, wondering why on earth there was nobody around. The whole family should be out, working. This was strange.

The whole place was quiet. Rainbow Dash approached the most recently raised barn.

"Hello?" she called out.

There was no answer. However, she did hear a faint sound coming from the barn. She walked closer, cautiously. There was something weird going on.

The door was closed, so the quiet sound was even more muffled. It sounded almost as if someone were using a plunger over and over.

"Huh," thought Rainbow Dash, "they must be doing their plumbing."

She was just about to enter when up on the hill, her friends Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity appeared. They called down to her, "Rainbow Dash! We've been looking for you!"

"Hi!" she called back. "Come on down, I'm just gonna go in the barn, I think Applejack is in there.

So she proceeded towards the door as her friends made their way down the hill, towards the house. They went inside to get lemonade ready for Rainbow and Applejack. Once she was up close to the door, she heard very strange sounds. It was something like, "Yeup, yeup, yeup, YEUP, YEUP!" It got louder and louder over the next few seconds, as well as the plunger noise.

Rainbow Dash kicked open the door and couldn't believe her eyes. She saw Big Macintosh and Applejack.. together.

"APPLEJACK!!!"

She stopped her sucking and turned around, extremely surprised.

"Rainbow Dash!" she exclaimed. "It's-I-Uh-Not-Woah hold on there," she stammered. "It ain't what it looks like, Dash!"

She was too late. Rainbow Dash's scream had attracted the other ponies, who burst through the door. Their faces fell in horror when they saw Big Macintosh exposed and Applejack with traces of white cream in her hair.

"Applejack," Rarity said, "What. The. Hell."

Big Macintosh jumped up and covered himself: badly. Applejack burst into tears. It was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to her. All her friends now saw that she and her brother were incestuous southern cliche ponies.

What a tragic thing.

"Yapplejack!" screeched Rainbow Dash, "What have you done! I can't believe this!"

The other ponies joined in on the raging and yelling.

"What were you thinking?" yelled Twilight Sparkle.

"How will everyone react!" said Rarity, incredulously.

"God said that's wrong, Applejack!" Fluttershy stated, in the most matter-of-fact and confident way.

All the other ponies sort of sucked in a breath through their teeth at Fluttershy's statement.

"Ssss... Oh... Umm, Fluttershy? Let's try to keep this secular, alright?" said Rarity.

"Yeah," agreed Applejack, "keep on going with what you were doing, but seriously, let's not try and push faith on anybody, alright?"

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle nodded their heads and murmured their agreements.

"Oh, right, okay fine," said Fluttershy. "Um, let's see, what else could I say... Ah! You're a freaking cunt, Applejack!"

"Ohhh... Yeah, that's not really gonna work either, Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said.

"You see, Fluttershy," Rarity started to explain, "If you say Applejack is a cunt, you're implying that being female is an insult."

"Yes," Applejack agreed, "it could be considered very sexist if the first thing that comes to mind when insulting someone is saying they're a woman. Why didn't you say I'm a dick? Because you think being a woman is worse than a man?"

"See what we're getting at here?" asked Rainbow Dash. "You have to be very politically correct nowadays, or people will misunderstand you and could be offended."

"Oho! I now understand and apologize for my insensitivity towards Applejack and the female gender," Fluttershy said.

"There, see how things can be fun and happy in the workplace without all this useless gender confusion?" Applejack said.

All the ponies agreed.

"Isn't this chapter supposed to end with someone getting hurt or offended by Rainbow Dash, like all the other chapters?" Big Macintosh reminded them.

"Oh, right!" said Rainbow Dash.

The rainbow colored pony ushered Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rarity out of the barn. She then "accidentally" lit the barn on fire and locked the doors.

Oops!

Chapter 4: Rarity

"Ah! Ow!" Applejack screamed, as fire and wood fell all around her.

Then a burning log fell. She was squished by it, like a grape. No, more like a tomato. Her legs flew across the room and one struck Big Mac in the face. He recoiled, as blood splattered across his torso.

"Applejack, nerrr!!!" he wailed, at the sight of her mangled and twisted body.

Applejack was dead.

Big Mac, knowing there was no way out, did the only thing left to do. He sat down and cried.

...

The day after the incident with Rainbow Dash and Applejack, authorities showed up at the scene. Investigators looked into how the fire was started, police asked around town about anything strange they had seen, and a full scale inquiry was under way. Nobody asked where Granny Smith or Applebloom or any of the other family members were. I guess nobody really cares about them.

Rainbow Dash didn't feel any shame or guilt. No one knew what she had done. Her other pony friends had been shooed off the premises before she had started the fire. No one even had a clue.

Without a care in the world, Rainbow Dash found herself strutting down the streets of Ponyville. As usual, she had no idea what to do with her day. She thought about causing some trouble with Pinkie Pie, or Twilight Sparkle, but dismissed the idea. She was feeling too classy at the moment. Hanging out with ponies of that nature would be too demeaning.

So who would she spend the day with? Well Rarity of course! If she wanted to spend the day with a snooty, pretentious pony, there was no other option.

...

Knock, knock, knock

Rainbow Dash straightened up and held her head high as Rarity answered the door.

"Why, Rainbow Dash, how good to see you," Rarity graciously said. "Why don't you come in?"

Rainbow Dash accepted the invitation and stepped over the threshold.

"You sure have done a lot with the place, since last I was here," Rainbow Dash commented.

"Oh yes," Rarity said, "I've been redecorating and designing constantly. It's just what I do to pass the time, I guess..."

Rainbow Dash sat down at the kitchen table while Rarity busied herself, getting refreshments and snacks out.

"Would you like some tea?," Rarity called, from around the corner. "Or maybe something a little stronger. I've got a couple of bottles from the old Winyard left."

Rarity continued running around the large kitchen, grabbing various items and bottles and foods.

"1296, very good year!" she continued. "Almost as old as I am!"

She chuckled and ran down a hallway, looking for who-knows-what.

"It was laid down by my father!" she called from somewhere in the house. "What say we open one, eh?"

"Just tea, thank you," Rainbow Dash called after her. She wasn't feeling very inclined for anything too pretentious. She had already had two scoops of Chai Tea and Chocolate Ginger Cookies ice cream before she left home.

Rarity came back in the kitchen with assorted snooty foods.

"I can make you some eggs, if you'd like," she said, turning to Rainbow Dash.

"Just tea, thank you," Rainbow Dash repeated.

Rarity sat down at the table with Rainbow Dash. "You don't mind if I eat, do you?" she said with a mouthful of bread.

"No, no, not at all," Rainbow Dash replied.

Suddenly a banging came from the door.

"Rarity! We know you're in there!" came the call.

Rarity froze up against a wall. "It's the Clopville Ponies! They're after the dress I promised them." She waited a moment, hoping the visitors would leave. "I'm not at home," Rarity whispered to Rainbow Dash.

"Ah ha!" yelled one of the ponies at the door, who had looked through a window and seen Rarity. "Let us in!" She said angrily.

Rarity went to the door and let the two ponies in. One was a male and one was female. They were both very old and Rainbow Dash immediately did not like them.

"Where's that dress we ordered for our granddaughter three weeks ago!" the old hag asked Rarity.

"It's in the back," she replied, patiently. "I just need to finish up a few things with it and it'll be ready to go. I promise to have it to you within the week."

"That's not good enough!" The old man said, throwing an ax into a map on the wall. "We need it now!"

Rainbow Dash sat at the table, confused. She watched as more discussion went on between the ponies. She didn't understand why Rarity didn't just tell them to leave, instead of standing there and arguing. The Clopville Ponies were getting very annoying.

"Okay fine," Rarity finally said. "I'll go and finish it now, just wait here."

Rarity headed into a room further into her house. Rainbow Dash got up and followed quickly, not wanting to be left in a room alone with the the rude ponies. They arrived in a room full of sewing machines, scraps of cloth, and unfinished pieces of clothing.

"Wow, Rarity," Rainbow Dash said, "you sure have been working a lot."

"Oh yes," she said, over her shoulder, while she started sewing some pieces together on the dress she needed to finish, "I find myself working a lot more these days. I can't seem to focus on one thing, though. I start a project and halfway through start another one. That's why I haven't finished these customers' dress yet."

Rainbow Dash wandered around the room, looking at different outfits and projects. The sewing machine whirred and Rarity worked. Dash was admiring a particularly interesting outfit when Rarity asked for the tape measure on the desk. Rainbow Dash, eager to help, trotted quickly towards the tape measure, but slipped on a lazily thrown away banana peel. She fell hard on her back. However, the floor was littered with other debris and she landed on an inconveniently placed glass. It shattered and almost all the shards went into Rainbow Dash's back.

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity cried, as she turned around, "What happened?"

Rainbow Dash was writhing on the ground, which made her condition even worse. As she moved she pushed the glass further in.

Rarity was shocked and wasn't paying attention to the sewing machine. Without knowing it, she pressed the pedal all the way down and the machine whipped the needle and thread up and down violently. Then Rainbow Dash kicked out, accidentally. Her foot collided with Rarity's hip and pushed her forward, into the sewing machine.

She screamed the loudest she had ever screamed. The needle went up her hoof and attached it to the dress. Then as she fell forward further it moved up her foreleg. The needle ripped through her flesh, attaching more and more of the dress to her.

Then both Rainbow Dash and Rarity blacked out from pain.

The scene was a bloody mess when the Clopville Ponies arrived. The screaming had scared them and they went to find out what happened. They stood in the door way, watching as blood spread on the floor from Rainbow Dash's wounds. Rarity lay on the table with the sewing machine stopped. Her foot had come off the pedal when she blacked out.

"My god," the old ponies gasped. They ran as fast as they could with their arthritis to the phone. The older gentleman made it first and called 911.

"911, what's your emergency?" the voice on the phone said.

"We're at the home of Rarity, the unicorn," he said. "there's been an accident in the sewing room and we need help right away."

"All right, we're sending help now."

"Thank you," he said, and hung up. "Well," he said, turning to his wife, "what a day this has been."

She tried to respond but found she couldn't. She felt as if there was a great weight on her chest. Her heart hurt tremendously. She fell to the ground, unconscious.

"No!" the old pony yelled, dropping to her side.

EMT's burst through the door and one came to the side of the unconscious pony. He tried to start chest compressions, but the man pushed him off of her. He yelled in the face of his wife, "You brought them here to kill me!" He said this referring to the medics.

"Let her go, old man!" the EMT shouted.

He remained on top of his wife, choking her.

"Let. Her. Go." the other man repeated.

He stood up, turning to face the medic. A menacing look was in his eyes. "You turned her against me!" he shouted.

"You have done that yourself."

"You will not take her from me!" he shouted, as the EMT again tried to get near her.

"Your anger and your lust for power have already done that," came the reply.

"Don't lecture me, I see through the lies of the hospitals. I do not fear the home remedies as you do!"

The old man turned around and walked away a few steps. The EMT again neared the old woman, checking her pulse.

"I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire!" The old man ranted.

"Your new empire?" the EMT said, incredulously.

"Don't make me kill you," said the old man, darkly.

"Old man, my allegience is to the hospital, to democracy!"

"If you're not with me... Then you're my enemy."

The EMT paused. "Only a home-birthist deals in absolutes. I will do what I must." He then got out his defibrillator.

"You will try," the old man said.

...

Minutes later, the old pony lay on the ground, restrained. The EMT proceeded with helping the old woman and getting her onto a gurney and into the ambulance. The old man was taken into the hospital too, and after a few scans, they discovered tumors in his arms and legs. Unfortunately they had to be amputated.

Author's Note

After re-reading this chapter, I decided I should give you some more information on Rarity in my MLP universe. I got lazy and didn't include this in the actual chapter like I had planned, but Rarity was making all those references to being distracted and tired all time because she was secretly in a relationship with Big Mac. She had been making dresses and redecorating all the time ("Oh yes," she said, over her shoulder, while she started sewing some pieces together on the dress she needed to finish, "I find myself working a lot more these days. I can't seem to focus on one thing, though. I start a project and halfway through start another one. That's why I haven't finished these customers' dress yet.") because she is so distraught over thinking Big Mac died in the fire at Applejack's. A lot of the time, she thought it was her fault he "died" because she didn't stay there and confront him after learning of his infidelity with Applejack. She figured that because she allowed herself to be ushered away by Rainbow Dash she wasn't there to save him from the fire she didn't know was going to be lit. This made her feel all the more guilty and angry because she had wishing for him to have some kind of horrible punishment as she walked away from Sweet Apple Acres.

So Rarity thought it was her fault Big Mac died, leading her to become sleep-deprived, nervous, guilty, anxious, and depressed.

*The More You Know*

Chapter 5: Fluttershy

"Oh my god, guys, what the hell is wrong with you!" Rainbow Dash yelled at an non-responsive window. She stood on a neat, well-taken care of drive. It was decorated to emphasize the natural beauty of the place, but also look like someone regularly tended to it.

"Can you at least come down and talk to me?" She turned and kicked at passing squirrel that was investigating why there was so much noise in a usually quiet and peaceful place.

Fluttershy sat in a chair far away from any windows that an onlooker could see her through. In this case, though, she was just making sure Rainbow Dash wouldn't see her.

Standing behind the kitchen counter, looking at Fluttershy in a slightly aggravated way was Twilight Sparkle.

"Are we not going to talk to her?" The Unicorn asked.

Fluttershy slowly turned to face Twilight. "I don't really want to see her, actually. Why do you think we're hiding here?" She looked back at the open window, through which Rainbow Dash's angered voice came.

"Seriously, I know you're in there," she yelled. "I saw Twilight go through the door on my way here!"

The purple pony looked down and said to Fluttershy's back, "You see? She knows I'm here, at least."

"But not me," Fluttershy responded, again facing Twilight. "For all she knows, you stopped in to get your cookbook back and left through the back door."

"God damn it, Fluttershy," Twilight began, heatedly, "What's wrong wi-"

"Keep your voice down!"

Twilight sighed. "Fine. But I think you're wrong about this, and you're going to hurt her feelings."

"I know!" Fluttershy stated. "I don't want to do that, but think about it," she began.

"No!" Twilight said, in a hushed voice. "You've said already and I think you're being really stupid, you know."

"Think about it," She continued. "Rainbow Dash has already fucked up everyone else's life. I'm next!"

"You're being ridiculous, Fluttershy. She's done nothing to hurt any of us." Twilight said. She looked away for a moment and listened to Rainbow Dash again.

"I just want to talk to someone, alright!" Rainbow Dash continued. "Listen, I'm just feeling lonely, why are you avoiding me?"

Twilight looked at Fluttershy again. "And she's our friend," she added.

"I know, I know," Fluttershy said, impatiently, "I agree. But just hear me out, again."

Twilight rolled her eyes, but listened to her friend's explanation again.

"It all started a few weeks ago. First she kicked Scootaloo into Pinkie Pie's oven. After that they had to replace all of their cooking equipment because it was contaminated. Then when the story got out all those ponies filed suits against her, claiming they had been sold cupcakes with pony parts in them. None won their cases, but she had to pay for the funeral expenses and the grievances of Scootaloo's family."

"Yes, but that wasn't Dash's fault," Twilight said. "We all know she has Tourettes. Plus, Pinkie's forgiven her. Why haven't you!"

"I have!" Fluttershy said. "But I-" she looked towards the open window on the other side of the room. Looking back at Twilight she continued her argument, but in a lower voice. "But I just think we should be cautious around her."

"I understand, but that's no reason we should be hiding from her," Twilight said.

"I don't want her near my animals!" Fluttershy said, frustrated. "If I answered the door... Who knows what might have happened."

Fluttershy stared at the floor for several seconds before she returned to the conversation.

"After the whole fiasco with Pinkie Pie, we visited her in the hospital."

"And do you remember why she was in the hospital," Twilight reminded her. "Because we, her friends, didn't stand by her. Not to point fingers, but Pinkie Pie especially is to blame for that..." She paused for a moment. "But that's what we should be doing right now: helping her! We shouldn't be hiding in a corner."

"I understand," Fluttershy interrupted. "But later that day, in the hospital, she broke your nose."

"Again, she has Tourettes, Fluttershy," Twilight began.

"Exactly!" she said fiercely. "Her condition used to be mild, but lately she's just been out of control. Remember that day with... with Applejack?"

Twilight faced Fluttershy sharply. "Don't you dare tell me you think she had something to do with that."

"We weren't there," Fluttershy insisted. "She pushed us away, told us to leave, and we did! We thought she was just going to talk to her but... There's every possibility that-"

"I don't want to hear anymore," Twilight said, cutting her off. "And I really don't want to hear anymore of this," she said, moving towards the door to let Rainbow Dash in.

Fluttershy jumped up to stop her. Crouching low, so as not to be seen, she barred the way out of the kitchen.

"Go back and let me finish," she said, looking up at Twilight.

The Unicorn resigned to the counter again. Fluttershy, sitting down, resumed their discussion.

"What about Rarity?" she asked. "After that incident, do you really still trust her?"

"You think... You think she pushed her on purpose?" Twilight asked, in disbelief.

"No, no, no," she said, quickly, "I mean, do you trust her to be responsible? If you had a priceless vase to be picked up from the store, would you trust her to go get it?"

"Anything can happen to anyone," Twilight said, in a matter-of-fact way. "Listen, you're going to go let her in and stop this. Now."

Fluttershy opened her mouth to respond, but hesitated. "Fine," she agreed. "But if she messes up again, does anything that hurts any of us, will you at least listen to me about this? Will you at least consider doing something about it?"

Twilight considered this. She looked at the window again, listening to the cries of Rainbow Dash. They started off as angered yells, but they were now more of sadness. She was sure her friends were in there, and couldn't figure out why they would just ignore her. She had politely knocked at the door upon arrival, waiting happily to see Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle. After several minutes she had knocked louder and louder, adding her voice to the din. "You guys, come on, open-up!" she had yelled. Meanwhile Fluttershy had pulled Twilight into the corner they were now in, explaining for the first time why she didn't want to see Rainbow Dash.

Twilight looked back at Fluttershy. "Yes. If she does something completely out of order we'll talk about it. We'll try to find her some help or something. Let's just go let her in.

Moments later Rainbow Dash found herself being let inside by Twilight Sparkle.

"Sorry about that, Dash," she said. "I came in a while ago to see Fluttershy, but she was in the shower. I fell asleep on the couch. How long were you out there waiting for us?"

Fluttershy came out of her bedroom, with damp hair. "Oh, hello Rainbow Dash!" she said, happily. She continued into the kitchen and prepared a bowl of fruit for a snack.

"So Rainbow Dash," Twilight began, "Fluttershy and I were actually going to Canterlot on official business for Princess Celestia, today. That's why I came here."

Fluttershy looked up from her cutting board and strawberries, eyeing Twilight.

"Anyways," she continued, "it would be awesome if you could watch her animals while we're away. We'll be gone for just a couple hours. You think you could handle that?'

Fluttershy dropped her knife on the ground. After glancing at Twilight, with a confused look in her eyes, she bent down quickly to pick up her knife.

"Oh yeah!" Rainbow Dash said. "I'd be happy to."

"Well, Fluttershy? It's time to go! See you in a bit Rainbow Dash!"

"Yeah... time to go..." Fluttershy said, following Twilight out the door. "See you Rainbow Dash..."

Rainbow Dash stood in the doorway waving goodbye, as Fluttershy yelled instructions back towards her.

"Make sure Angel gets enough food, she has to have 2/8 cups of pellets every day, and she hasn't been fed yet. She also has to have an unlimited supply of hay for her digestive system to work properly. She needs the long fiber to help move food through her intestines, so make sure you get hay from the shed to replace her supply every hour. Oh, and make sure Hummingway gets enough fly-time! He needs plenty of exercise."

Fluttershy continued yelling her instructions as Twilight marched her down the path that led into Ponyville.

"Elizabeak needs her perch cleaned every half-hour. Make sure you replace the hay in it, too!" The sound of her instructions ceased as the two went around a corner.

Rainbow Dash sighed, as she walked through the door, back into the house. She looked around, seeing all the animals she needed to take care of, and got right to work.

...

"Ah! we're almost there," Rainbow Dash sighed, as she inhaled the aroma of the carrot stew she was making. "Oh! I need to let Hummingway out for his exercise."

She walked over to the cage he was in and opened the door. "Have fun little guy," she said as the bird zoomed around the room, happily.

"Time to take Mr. Mousey for a walk!"

She got the collar and leash from a closet and got the mouse hooked up to it.

"Now hold on a second, buddy, I gotta go do something." She walked up the stairs, on her way to the chicken coop. At the top, she tied the leash to a post on the railing.

Continuing on her way towards the coop, she went out the door to the back and retrieved hay from the barn. Minutes later the coop was clean, the eggs were gathered, and there was fresh water. She paused for a few seconds to throw a pitchfork into a haybale.

Upon entering the house, she passed Fluttershy's bedroom.

"Ooh, Fluttershy's bed!" she said, eyeing it. "I wonder how it feels."

"Rainbow Dash, we're back!" Twilight Sparkle yelled, as she turned the key in the door. "See? You had nothing to worry about," she said, turning to Fluttershy. "Do you hear any agonizing screams or shouts of horror? No. Rainbow Dash looked after your animals just like you would."

The two ponies walked through the door, but stopped abruptly, eyes wide at the scene before them.

Blood splattered the ceiling above, around, and below the fan. A few of Hummingway's feathers still floated around the room.

"Oh god," Twilight said. Fluttershy stood, transfixed. "At least it was only one, right? Everyone else is okay. It's not Rainbow Dash's fault he flew into the ceiling fan.

"Shut up." Fluttershy walked further into the room, turning off the fan with the switch on the wall. She walked into the kitchen to find the source of the burning smell, only to find the stove was on. The large pot on the stovetop was empty of water, for it had all boiled away. The bottom was black and burned, but not so much as the small skeleton of a rabbit that lay there. The remains of the carrots and potatoes and other vegetables in the stew were charred and black, but one carrot still lay, half-eaten, in Angel's mouth.

Fluttershy reached up and turned the stove off.

"Damn it, that was my favorite pot," she said, emotionless, as she set it in the sink.

"Fluttershy," Twilight began, "just sit down, this is a lot to take in-"

The Pegasus walked past her, into the living room. Twilight stopped for a moment and glanced at the pot in the sink. She expected only to see that the bottom was burned. Fluttershy turned around, only to see Twilight retch and cover her mouth. She staggered and grabbed onto the counter to hold herself up.

"Are you coming?" Fluttershy asked, impatiently and and irritated. Twilight turned and followed, with a horrified look.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Fluttershy started the ascent. She didn't pause as she walked past the limp body of Mr. Mousey, swinging from the leash. He was tied to a post fairly close to the top of the stairs, so the fall didn't break his neck, he suffocated.

Twilight shrugged close to the opposite wall as she passed the swinging mouse. She shut her eyes tight until they were well past it, and shuddered violently as they reached the top. On their way out the back door, they passed Fluttershy's empty bedroom without a glance.

The two ponies reached the chicken coop and found Elizabeak dead on the ground. She had had cancer.

...

Back inside the house, Fluttershy closed and locked the back door.

"Fluttershy, I... I don't even," Twilight began, "I don't know what to say."

"It's alright, Twilight," Fluttershy said. "It's not your fault."

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," she started, "If I hadn't-"

"Get out of my house."

The two ponies looked at each other in silence. Twilight, with a hurt, sad expression, and Fluttershy with an emotionless, determined look.

"Okay," Twilight said, dejectedly. She walked with her head down, back towards the stairs. Passing the bedroom, she saw a note on the bedside table. After glancing at Fluttershy, she entered the room to read it. Fluttershy followed.

They both leaned together and read the note in their heads.

"Sorry, Fluttershy, I had to go," it said. "P.S., you've got yourself a real comfortable bed here!"

Fluttershy beckoned Twilight out of the room.

"Do you need to talk, Fluttershy?"

"No," she said, "you need to get going now."

Finally, Twilight turned and headed out of the room and down the stairs. With one last glance up at Fluttershy, she exited the house. She was glad to be out of the death-filled place.

Fluttershy stood at the top of the stairs, without a single tear-filled eye. She sighed.

"At least I can have chicken dinner tonight," she said, turning away.

Author's Note

You will not believe how much knowledge I have about rabbit diets and feeding patterns now. I think I spent about half an hour google-ing this stuff, just to be accurate.

On an ironic note, around the part where it's talking about how Rainbow Dash was feeling lonely and stuff, I was listening to Green Day's: Homecoming. As soon as I finished the paragraph the song ends with "Nobody likes you, everyone left you, they're all out without you, having fun!" Ha.

Chapter 6: Rainbow Dash (THE END!?!)

Once more into the fray
Into the last good fight I'll ever know
Live and die on this day
Live and die on this day

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. But enough with the shitty exposition.

Rainbow Dash woke up in a cold sweat. It was still early; 6:02 in the morning, to be exact. She couldn't help but feel something was wrong... Which disturbeds her...

She jumped out of bed, reaching around in the darkness for a weapon, but no! Instead her hand closed upon a miniature TARDIS model.

It would have to suffice.

A rustling noise could be heard in the garage area of her house. Rainbow Dash faced an ultimatum that was very common in her life. "Do I get up and check it out, or do I just stay here and pretend nothing's happening?" Usually she would be faced with this dilemma at night, with the covers pulled up to her eyes. What no one knew was... Rainbow Dash was afraid of the dark. (And I thought she was so butch!)

BWAM!

"What was that!" The rainbow pony yelled. In hindsight it was most likely not a very smart thing to do, considering there may be an intruder in the house and she just gave away the fact that the resident is residing.

She proceeded to creep down the hall, towards the door that led to her one-car garage. Since she knew she had already blown her cover, she decided to call out to the unknown thing that may or may not be there.

"I'm warning you," she said in a threatening manner. "I have the right to bear arms, and I'm not afraid to use that right!"

Unfortunately, this was a bluff. Her bear arms were in the closet, and she did not have the sense to get them, in her haste to investigate the sound.

For a few moments the garage had gone silent. Rainbow Dash did not let her guard down, however.

Then she got a strange feeling. The feeling you get that there's something behind you, even though you know there's nothing there. Sometimes you get it late at night. Say, when you're sitting at a computer, in a basement, at 2:00 in the morning. Then you start to feel cold. Like... like you'd never be happy again. So you eat some chocolate.

Rainbow Dash's reasonable fear of the dark started to cloud her mind. In every corner she saw teddy bears with teeth, ready to devour her. In every window a dog with a wide grin leered at her, just beyond the shadows. Shakily, she placed her hand upon the doorknob.

It rattled, causing her to jump.

She gripped it tighter, and the noise stopped. After a deep breath, she threw open the-

OH, OH WAIT, NEVER MIND!

Just before she opened the door, a gloved hand reached around and held her mouth closed. Simultaneously, the other arm wrapped around her waist, and pulled her to the ground. A black mask was put on her head, cutting off all vision. Not that she could see in the dark anyway.

It only took a few seconds for this to transpire, and Rainbow Dash now found herself being dragged along the ground, picked up, and thrown into a trunk of a car.

Actually... how could she find herself being dragged? Really. Can you actually find yourself? I didn't think you could lose yourself in the first place, but now here we go talking about finding yourself...

Okay, yeah, I know, even I sometimes surprise myself at how bad I am at writing.

...

So three guys go camping. They all sleep in the same tent, and the next morning, both guys that slept on the left and right sides of the tent say they had a dream that their dicks were being ripped off. "Funny," says the guy in the middle, "I had a dream I was skiing."

Eh? Eh! Eh? Good, right? You see, Rainbow Dash was working on her stand-up bit, to pass the time. What else was she going to do, tied up in that trunk, right? Well I'll tell you what she not gonna do. Have a clopping scene with Applejack. You know why? Because Rainbow Dash has standards, and having relations with ponies of... that nature is quite simply against her creed.

Sometimes Rainbow Dash would find herself (there we go again) laying under the stars, thinking about life, it's meaning, things she had done, the non-existence of God, and sonic rainbooms. You know, everyday stuff. Occasionally, during those times, she would ask herself, "Why doth ponies shipeth Applejack and I?" She talks like that when she's alone, because of her class.

Very suddenly, the car screeched to a stop. "Ah, shit," Rainbow Dash cursed, as she flew around inside the trunk. How did she fly around so much in such a small trunk? Because she's anorexic, you bastard. Everybody on this show is. You just hate her because you don't have swag.

"Get her out!" a very angry voice bellowed, followed by a slammed door. Rainbow Dash huddled back against the wall of the trunk. Three other door slams were heard.

A blinding ray of sunlight beamed into the dark trunk, when it was opened. Fortunately it didn't hurt Rainbow Dash's eyes like it would have if she hadn't been wearing that black mask. The mask was quickly removed however, along with the duct tape over her mouth.

"Shouldn't we take the earbuds out?" a pony (who Rainbow Dash could now see to be Twilight Sparkle) asked.

"No," Pinkie Pie responded. "We'll torture her a little more."

So Rainbow Dash was carried out of the trunk by Twilight's magic. After swirling around in the air, a few times, she could see that her kidnappers were none other than her four pony friends. She was relieved now, for she thought it was all just a trick of some kind, and let out a chuckle.

"YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?" a demonic voice, roared.

The shout was louder than the blaring music in Rainbow Dash's ears and she trembled at it. The same could be said for the other ponies, upon realizing the roar came from the gentle pony, Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, wha- what are you-" Twilight Sparkle began to say.

"Enough." The simple word silenced the unicorn. I guess people were beginning to realize Fluttershy was strong. Strong with words.

Before the scene could progress any further, a strange male pony cantered up the hill. He wore a tan-brown jacket, and looked like a friendly, outdoors-y guy. You just felt immediately that you would trust him running Equestria, because he can relate to you. He started to speak.

"Now let's take a moment, here. I know we've all had fun so far, having a mild laugh at a few finer points of the story, but there's something serious on my mind. The issue today, is faith. Now do you know why Fluttershy can now roar like a rabid lion? It's not because she's angry and is using her voice very loudly, it's because she has faith. Now I'm not ashamed to admit that I believe in Celestia."

The other ponies nodded their heads in agreement at the kind man's words so far. He continued walking up the hill, and was just about five feet away from them all when he continued speaking.

"You know there's a problem in this country where gays can serve openly in the military, but our foals can't celebrate Christmas in schoo-"

A collective air-whistling-through-teeth sound came from the ponies.

"Ah... Yeah, let's try and be a little less offensive there, mkay?" Twilight Sparkle said.

"Yes," Rarity followed up, "when you talk about being gay like that, it kinda makes it sound like being gay is bad."

Fluttershy returned to her normal voice. "Well, you see, Mr, you need to be a little more careful of how you choose your words. And what do you mean, you're kids can't openly celebrate Christmas in schools?"

The tan-jacketed pony stammered, "Well I, uh, I... Well our kids... they can't celebrate Christmas in schools."

"Did anyone tell them they can't?" Fluttershy responded.

"Well, no uh, but-"

"Did anyone actively stop your kids from celebrating Christmas?" Twilight chimed in.

"Well you see-"

"All we're saying, man," Rainbow Dash began, "is that you can't have the school fund any kind of Christmas celebration. We're not saying you can't celebrate it, you just can't make the school pay for it or endorse it. Make sense?"

"FAITH MADE EQUESTRIA STRONG!" The slick pony roared, stamping his hooves, and snarling with rage. "IT'LL MAKE HER STRONG AGAIN!" He galloped off into the forest, leaving voting ballots behind, floating down to earth.

The five ponies stood transfixed for a few moments, still staring at the spot in the woods where the strange pony had disappeared. Then all of the sudden, they all realized they were there for a reason.

"To burn Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said, menacingly, turning towards the camera, as it zoomed out and revealed a wooden stake and brush and logs beneath it.

"Muahahahaha!" Fluttershy began. "Mua ha ha ha!"

The other ponies, besides Rainbow Dash started in, as well.

"MUAHAHAHA!"

Author's Note

Yeah, by the way, the poem is from The Grey (which is a great movie and has no flaws) and it's there to make it seem like this is gonna be a serious chapter, and like a more mature ending.

It's not.

If you haven't seen Rick Perry's "Strong" ad, there is a part of the story you will not understand. Go watch it.

Oh, and as you may or may not have guessed, there will be another chapter.

Chapter 7: Badass Conclusion

Rainbow Dash looked up at Fluttershy with fear in her eyes.

"No!!!" she cried. "You can't do this!"

Fluttershy looked upon Rainbow Dash with disdain. Never had she met such a thing that repulsed her as much as the thrashing, writhing pony in front of her. She could think of nothing but revenge... and fudge.

Seriously, where's the fudge? How long has it been since you last had fudge? Tell me. I really want to know, because it seems like I haven't had actual fudge in forever. A little known fact is, ponies are the number one consumers of fudge in the world. Assuming, of course, that Equestria is in the world.

The show must go on, though! We return to the story, at a perilous time for Rainbow Dash. She hangs suspended in a cloud of magic, originating from Twilight Sparkle. Her former friends stand around her, judging. In the middle of the scene is a stake, on which Rainbow Dash will soon be burned, if everything goes according to plan. But when has that ever happened?

"Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy began, "are you ready to face the penalty for your crimes-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Rainbow Dash interrupted, "cut the crap. Just do what you need to do."

Fluttershy and all the other ponies stood aghast and open-mouthed, for a moment. Recovering quickly, however, Fluttershy continued, "The crimes with which you are charged with are first degree murder-"

"First?" Rainbow Dash asked.

For a moment, Fluttershy was caught off guard, so Rarity took the liberty of explaining.

"First degree murder is any murder that is willing and premeditated," she said, promptly.

"Okay, well then I'm free to go, right?" Rainbow responded.

Everyone was surprised at the audacity of their former friend. Did she really think that they would just let her go? She committed acts of violence against them all! At least, that was the conclusion they had all come to together, earlier that day.

Pinkie Pie stepped up this time. "No, you most certainly are not!" she said. "You caused me a lot of pain financially. And I had to pay for the emotional scarring of my employees. It's not that easy to get over the sight of a mangled corpse moving along a bakery conveyor belt and being mutilated and shaped and pressed before your very eyes!"

"Calm down, Pinkie Pie," Rainbow Dash said. "I did it accidentally. Do you really think that I would do that on purpose, to hurt you?"

"Well," she began.

"Don't answer that." Rainbow Dash said, quickly. "The point is," she started to explain, "I didn't do anything wrong. And I think that I'm being punished unfairly. I haven't even been given the right to a jury or a judge or anything."

Fluttershy stepped forward. "Actually," she said, "you have. I am your judge, and I say you have done all of us wrong."

"Exactly," Twilight said. " Now, if you don't mind," she said in between grunts of effort, " the magic is really starting to become hard to control..."

Rainbow Dash's bubble of magic faltered for a moment. For a second she thought there would be a chance to escape. She thought of running into the forest and starting a new life, with Zecora as her lesbian partner. Sadly, though, it was impossible. Even though Twilight was running out of power to control the magic, it was still strong. Just like Equestra could be, if we had faith.

"Put her down," Fluttershy commanded.

Twilight Sparkle did as she wished, and released the magic. Rainbow Dash fell to the ground in a heap. "Ow," she grunted.

(THERE'S THE CATCHPHRASE!)

"Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy bellowed, "you have been convicted of crimes against Equestria and her people. What say you in you defence?"

"Well actually, I haven't-" she began to say.

"Silence!" the mad pony yelled. "You will burn. You will burn like the heathen ponies of old!" She paused for dramatic effect. "Bring wood and oil!" she commanded her minions. You may also know them as Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy's new 'minions' grumbled, but did as they were told, and brought wood and oil. Even though previously in the story it has already been stated there was wood under the stake, but it's my fucking story and I do what I want.

"Do you fear death?" Fluttershy asked Rainbow Dash, getting close to her face, and whispering in her ear.

"I take my chances, miss," Rainbow Dash said shakily.

Fluttershy stood back and admired the scene before her. The burning area was ready, and all that was missing was one blue pony to melt from the flames. The thought pleased Fluttershy, that after all this time, it would finally be over. Rainbow Dash would be reduced to ash and bones and it would be... over. Suddenly, Fluttershy couldn't recall the taste of strawberries. The touch of grass... the sound of water. She was... naked in the dark. With no veil... between her, and- me looking through the window...

In the middle of all Fluttershy's musings and thoughts, Rainbow Dash was tied to the stake. Twilight lit her torch with magic, and Rarity and Pinkie Pie lit theirs off of hers. They were about to throw them onto the wood and oil when Fluttershy grabbed Twilight's arm. She looked into Twilight's eyes and said, "...That's my boy. That's my son."

"But I thought you hit a dog?" Rarity asked.

"Nobody fucking asked you, Rarity!" Fluttershy said, in a spiteful tone.

Rarity was hurt, and went to Pinkie Pie for comfort. Meanwhile, Fluttershy took the torch from Twilight and held it up.

"Are you ready to burn, little pony?" she asked.

Rainbow Dash, who had been quiet for some time, responded, "Yes. I will accept whatever fate is given to me."

Before Fluttershy dropped the burning torch onto the logs that would immediately go up in flame and consume Rainbow Dash, she paused and thought about the last words of her former friend. She pulled the torch up and questioned Rainbow Dash.

"How do you know that this is fate?" she asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at her accuser incredulously. "Well, how could it not be fate?" she said.

Fluttershy was confused. "How could it not? What do you mean?"

"Well you see," she said, "in God's plan, all people-"

Fluttershy dropped the torch on the wood and walked away with her friends.

Epilogue

Rainbow Dash screamed as the flames neared her. The other ponies, with Fluttershy leading, were nearly out of sight. But she didn't have time to think about that. The fire was already scorching her legs.

The proud rainbow pony held her head high, and looked fiercely at the setting sun.

"You will not have the pleasure of hearing me scream."

Moments later Rainbow's face contorted with agony. She tried to control it. She willed herself not to do it, but...

"Ngg... hngg... hungWAAAAAAAAAA!"

She started bawling profusely, and writhing around as much as her restraints would allow.

What's this? There seemed to be a pony approaching from the distant forest. Rainbow Dash tried to focus her tear-filled eyes on the large pony. As far as she could tell, it looked male.

Several more seconds of burning agony made her forget about he colt and squirm some more. She couldn't get out, though. Ha.

When Rainbow Dash looked up again, she couldn't believe her eyes. She thought it must be her imminent death and the agonizing pain that was making her brain deluded. And you know what? That might be true. Maybe you never even read this story and it was all a delusion. Maybe gravity doesn't exist and we all just will ourselves to stay on the ground. Hell, there may even be something outside your window. But you'll just never know.

"Having fun?" The voice interrupted Rainbow Dash's thoughts.

"Who's there?" She croaked, after a few ash-filled coughs.

"Oh, nobody," the voice responded.

"Come on," she pleaded. "these are my last momen-" her sentence was interrupted by a fresh wave of pain and the scream it brought forth.

"Quiet down," the stranger commanded. "You don't want to attract the timber wolves."

"WHY DID YOU COME HERE? TO SCORN ME AND MOCK ME?" she yelled, as best she could with her raw throat.

"Maybe," the pony replied.

"You... sicken me," she spat.

"Hey, weren't you the one that got a kick out of killing Scootaloo?"

"THAT WAS DIFFERENT!"

The stranger paused and looked up. A howling could be heard, nearby.

"The wolves... They're coming."

Rainbow Dash summoned the last of her strength and lifter her head. She saw the large, brutish pony start to gallop away. It's outline was barely distinguishable and hazy, from the smoke, but she could see it was a red pony.

"Hey!" she managed to shout. "Aren't you going to head for the treeline?"

The mysterious pony stopped and turned his head to face Rainbow Dash.

"Yeeup."