Rainbow Dash is a Bang-Ended Newt.

Rainbow Dash was released from the hospital only three days after the fiasco with Twilight Sparkle and her IV. She had received many vases of flowers and "Get well" cards during her stay, but she got no more visits from ponies after she had broken Twilight's nose. It was unintentional, and when Rainbow Dash had woken up the next day, she wrote a very sincere apology letter. Twilight wrote back, saying all was understood, and it was a quick and simple fix with her magic. However, the rest of the ponies were still too scared to visit Rainbow, thinking they would all be viciously attacked.

Rainbow Dash strutted out the doors of the hospital confidently. She received an apology from Pinkie Pie for the way she was treated, and she no longer felt abandoned and alone. That was good, because she was in a very dark hole of depression for a while. She was given a reprimand for slitting her wrist and let go, now that she was fully recovered. She was a new woman.

"What shall I do to celebrate?" Rainbow Dash asked herself. "Hmmm..."

Suddenly, a strange purple dragon floated past her head. It said in a mellow, relaxed voice, "Duuude... Go see Applejack..."

"What a wonderful idea!" Rainbow Dash said. "I really like her! And I'm not just saying that because I'm legally required to by the owners of this show!" she added.

And so, Rainbow Dash hurried off towards Sweet Apple Acres. Off to see Applejack! She liked that. They would make apple cider together, go apple bucking, chase each other around, have races, and maybe if she got lucky, Applejack would realize her true sexual feelings toward Rainbow Dash and they could live happily together for the rest of their lives. Or at least until one of them gets cancer and leaves the other alone and drowning in debt because they didn't plan properly and didn't get life insurance, go into a state of depression and die a miserable death, alone. But Rainbow Dash didn't like to dwell upon the negative, so she continued on her way, only thinking of the happy things she would do with Applejack.

"Ah, Sweet Apple Acres," Rainbow Dash said to herself, as she arrived at her destination.

The farm was doing very well. All the trees were ripe with apples, ready to be bucked. The cider machine was well-oiled and ready to go for the coming cider-making season. Rainbow Dash strolled casually in, wondering why on earth there was nobody around. The whole family should be out, working. This was strange.

The whole place was quiet. Rainbow Dash approached the most recently raised barn.

"Hello?" she called out.

There was no answer. However, she did hear a faint sound coming from the barn. She walked closer, cautiously. There was something weird going on.

The door was closed, so the quiet sound was even more muffled. It sounded almost as if someone were using a plunger over and over.

"Huh," thought Rainbow Dash, "they must be doing their plumbing."

She was just about to enter when up on the hill, her friends Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity appeared. They called down to her, "Rainbow Dash! We've been looking for you!"

"Hi!" she called back. "Come on down, I'm just gonna go in the barn, I think Applejack is in there.

So she proceeded towards the door as her friends made their way down the hill, towards the house. They went inside to get lemonade ready for Rainbow and Applejack. Once she was up close to the door, she heard very strange sounds. It was something like, "Yeup, yeup, yeup, YEUP, YEUP!" It got louder and louder over the next few seconds, as well as the plunger noise.

Rainbow Dash kicked open the door and couldn't believe her eyes. She saw Big Macintosh and Applejack.. together.

"APPLEJACK!!!"

She stopped her sucking and turned around, extremely surprised.

"Rainbow Dash!" she exclaimed. "It's-I-Uh-Not-Woah hold on there," she stammered. "It ain't what it looks like, Dash!"

She was too late. Rainbow Dash's scream had attracted the other ponies, who burst through the door. Their faces fell in horror when they saw Big Macintosh exposed and Applejack with traces of white cream in her hair.

"Applejack," Rarity said, "What. The. Hell."

Big Macintosh jumped up and covered himself: badly. Applejack burst into tears. It was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to her. All her friends now saw that she and her brother were incestuous southern cliche ponies.

What a tragic thing.

"Yapplejack!" screeched Rainbow Dash, "What have you done! I can't believe this!"

The other ponies joined in on the raging and yelling.

"What were you thinking?" yelled Twilight Sparkle.

"How will everyone react!" said Rarity, incredulously.

"God said that's wrong, Applejack!" Fluttershy stated, in the most matter-of-fact and confident way.

All the other ponies sort of sucked in a breath through their teeth at Fluttershy's statement.

"Ssss... Oh... Umm, Fluttershy? Let's try to keep this secular, alright?" said Rarity.

"Yeah," agreed Applejack, "keep on going with what you were doing, but seriously, let's not try and push faith on anybody, alright?"

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle nodded their heads and murmured their agreements.

"Oh, right, okay fine," said Fluttershy. "Um, let's see, what else could I say... Ah! You're a freaking cunt, Applejack!"

"Ohhh... Yeah, that's not really gonna work either, Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said.

"You see, Fluttershy," Rarity started to explain, "If you say Applejack is a cunt, you're implying that being female is an insult."

"Yes," Applejack agreed, "it could be considered very sexist if the first thing that comes to mind when insulting someone is saying they're a woman. Why didn't you say I'm a dick? Because you think being a woman is worse than a man?"

"See what we're getting at here?" asked Rainbow Dash. "You have to be very politically correct nowadays, or people will misunderstand you and could be offended."

"Oho! I now understand and apologize for my insensitivity towards Applejack and the female gender," Fluttershy said.

"There, see how things can be fun and happy in the workplace without all this useless gender confusion?" Applejack said.

All the ponies agreed.

"Isn't this chapter supposed to end with someone getting hurt or offended by Rainbow Dash, like all the other chapters?" Big Macintosh reminded them.

"Oh, right!" said Rainbow Dash.

The rainbow colored pony ushered Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rarity out of the barn. She then "accidentally" lit the barn on fire and locked the doors.

Oops!