Cereal

by Kragor

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Random
Length: 2706

Twilight sparkle goes on a short quest to save the universe. This is going to be bad, get your pitchforks ready.

Twilight Sparkle goes on a short quest to save the universe.

This is my first attempt at writing.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-25 16:42:29 UTC

The Quest

Disclaimer: The Story you are About to Read is Canon

It was seven AM, and today was going to be a good day, Twilight Sparkle could feel it in her bones, the sun was shining, birds were happily chirping, et cetera, et cetera, happy things, overall it was a pretty amazing morning so far.

Twilight jumped out of her bed and slipped, falling on the still sleeping Spike crushing every bone in his body, Twilight got up and stared at the now dead baby dragon and said "Oh, what a shame I guess I'll need a new slave, I'll send Princess Celestia a letter later I guess.

This day was going to be great, Twilight was meaning to replace that annoying assistant anyway, so she went into the bathroom took a massive dump, had a shower, and brushed her teeth, then she went downstairs for a bowl of cereal for breakfast. And that's when something horrible happened, Twilight opened the cupboard where she kept the cereal, and there was no cereal!

Suddenly the sky turned dark, birds started exploding, and all the ice cream shops in town closed.

"Where's the cereal?!" Twilight yelled, that thieving assistant must have eaten the last box of cereal and forgot to buy more. "that fool! If I don't eat cereal in the morning every day then the universe will explode!" Twilight yelled.

Twilight ran out of her house, she needed Cereal, as soon as possible, pronto, immediately, unfortunately it was way too early for any of the stores to actually be open, so Twilight needed to find someone who could give her some cereal right away, at least one of her friends has to have the kind of cereal she likes, "I know! I'll go to Rarity's house!" Twilight said, so she started rushing towards Rarity's house.

A few minutes later Twilight arrived at Rarity's house, Carousel Boutique or whatever, and knocked on the door, the door slowly opened revealing the face of Rarity. "Twilight? What are you doing here so early darling?" Rarity said.

"Rarity I'm out of cereal!" Rarity gasped. "Twilight if you don't get any cereal then the universe will explode! Here take a box of mine!" rarity said, passing a box of 'Fancy!' cereal. "No!" Twilight yelled " it needs to be the kind of cereal I like, or the universe will implode instead of exploding"

"Well I'm afraid this is the only kind of cereal I have Twilight dear."

"Ugh! You're just wasting my time!" Twilight said to Rarity, Twilight slammed the door in Rarity's face and ran off towards the next pony that may have her favorite cereal...

Fluttershy, hopefully she has the kind of cereal Twilight likes, after about nine minutes of non-stop running Twilight finally reached Fluttershy's house. "Flutershy are you awake?" Twilight said while knocking on the door.

"J-just go away." A voice that suspiciously sounded like Fluttershy said from inside the house.

"I just need to borrow some cereal Fluttershy." The ticking time bomb Twilight said.

" I-I don't have any cereal Twilight just go away." the voice said. "Okay then, I'll see you later Fluttershy..." Protagonist said, and so Twilight walked away towards her next friends' house...

  Little did Twilight know, Fluttershy was feeding her animals breakfast, when suddenly, all of her birds exploded in a bloody mess covering her in their bloody remains, Fluttershy knew it was her fault, maybe she gave them the wrong food. So Flutershy was depressed as fuck, and when Twilight came over she was getting a noose ready to hang her self... But who cares about Fluttershy, this is a story about Twilight.

Rainbow Dash better have the kind of cereal Twilight likes.

but time's running out, it was about 8:00 by the time she got to Rainbow Dash's cloud house with some fancy teleporting and a cloud walking spell, but she had until 10:00 to eat her favorite kind of cereal...

Twilight knocked on Rainbow Dash's door for a few minutes, until an upset rainbow dash finally opened the door. "Twilight? What are you doing here so early in the morning? Also, how are you not falling to your death?"

Rainbow asked the unicorn standing at the door. "Rainbow Dash, I'm out of my favorite kind of cereal and if I don't eat a bowl of it in the morning, the universe will explode!" Twilight yelled. "Oh no!" Rainbow Dash screeched like a baby being tortured with rusty cutlery. "What kind of cereal do you like Twilight? I might have it." Rainbow Dash said. "I need 'Tasty Brain Flakes', It's my favorite kind of cereal." Twilight said. "Oh, well sorry Twilight, I don't have any of those." Rainbow said. "Alright, I guess I'll have to ask Pinkie Pie now, if the universe somehow doesn't explode I'll see you later Rainbow Dash."

"Bye Twilight!" Rainbow said. "What the heck is a universe?" Cum Dumpster Dash said before going back inside her house to continue Masturbating to puppies being kicked.

"Alright, time to ask Pinkie Pie, it's 8:30, and I'm almost at Sugar-cube Corner, here we go." Twilight said.

A minute later she arrived at Pinkie Pie's place of living and knocked on the door, which was answered almost immediately by Pinkie Pie. "Hey Twilight, sorry but I don't have the cereal you like." Pinkie said.

"Huh? how did you know I needed cereal?" Twilight asked.

"My Pinkie sense told me that you still haven't eaten you Brain Flakes this morning and that if you didn't by 10:00 the universe would explode." Pinkie stated.

"Okay then Pinkie, I guess I'll have to go ask Applejack if she has any Brain Flakes, I doubt it though, so we're all probably doomed, see you later I guess." Twilight said.

"Buh-Bye Twilight!" Pinkie said.

Applejack was Twilight's last hope, she better have some fucking 'Brain Flakes' or else we're all doomed, was what Twilight Sparkle was thinking as she knocked on the door to Applejack's house, Twilight only saw Big Mac on the way here, so hopefully Applejack won't already have left, luckily for her the one who answered the door WAS Applejack.

"Applejack I need some cereal or else the universe will explode!" Twilight yelled. "Well Twilight, ah don't know bout any eu-nie-vurse, but that sounds mighty dangerous, what kind of cereal do ya need?" Applejack said.

"I need Brain Flakes cereal, I asked everyone else, but they didn't have any." Twilight said, then Applejack said "Well Twilight you're in luck I got a few boxes of that, you can have one I guess."

Twilight was quite surprised "You actually have Brain Flakes?" she asked.

"Yeah, here ya go." Applejack said while handing Twilight a box of Brain Flakes.

"Well thanks Applejack, I gotta go home and eat this now, I'll see you later!" The purple unicorn said, and so Twilight ran back towards her home...

In order for the ritual to work, Twilight must eat the cereal inside her house, Twilight rushed into her house, breaking the door down, grabbing a bowl and a spoon, she poured the brain flakes into the bowl, she has two minutes until the apocalypse begins, she opens the fridge...

and there's no milk...

"THAT STUPID WHORE DRAGON, WHY DIDN'T HE BUY MORE MILK?!" Twilight yelled with rage.

only 30 seconds left. "SPIIIKE!!!" Twilight yelled.

And then there was nothing.

I put dis shizzle up in Gizoogle

It was seven AM, n' todizzle was goin ta be a phat day, Twilight Sparkle could feel it up in her bones, tha sun was shining, birdz was happily chirping, et cetera, et cetera, aiiight things, overall it was a pimpin' dunkadelic mornin so far.

Twilight jumped outta her bed n' slipped, fallin on tha still chillin Spike crushin every last muthafuckin bone up in his body, Twilight gots up n' stared all up in tha now dead baby dragon n' holla'd "Oh, what tha fuck a muthafucka I guess I be bout ta need a freshly smoked up slave, I be bout ta bust Supa-Hoe Celestia a letter later I guess.

This dizzle was goin ta be pimped out, Twilight was meanin ta replace dat buggin assistant anyway, so dat biiiiatch went tha fuck into tha bathroom took a massive dump, had a shower, n' brushed her teeth, then dat biiiiatch went downstairs fo' a funky-ass bowl of cereal fo' breakfast fo' realz. And thatz when suttin' wack happened, Twilight opened tha cupboard where she kept tha cereal, n' there was no cereal!

Suddenly tha sky turned dark, birdz started exploding, n' all tha ice cream shops up in hood closed.

"Wherez tha cereal?!" Twilight yelled, dat thievin assistant must have smoked tha last box of cereal n' forgot ta loot mo' n' mo' n' mo'. "that fool! If I don't smoke cereal up in tha mornin every last muthafuckin dizzle then tha universe will explode!" Twilight yelled.

Twilight ran outta her house, she needed Cereal, quicker than a muthafucka, pronto, immediately, unfortunately it was way too early fo' any of tha stores ta muthafuckin be open, so Twilight needed ta find one of mah thugs whoz ass could give her some cereal right away, at least one of her playaz has ta have tha kind of cereal she likes, "I know! I be bout ta git all up in Rarityz house!" Twilight holla'd, so her big-ass booty started rushin towardz Rarityz house.

A few minutes later Twilight arrived at Rarityz house, Carousel Boutique or whatever, n' knocked on tha door, tha door slowly opened revealin tha grill of Rarity. "Twilight, biatch? What is you bustin here so early darling?" Raritizzle holla'd.

"Raritizzle I be outta cereal!" Raritizzle gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Twilight if you don't git any cereal then tha universe will explode biaaatch! Here take a funky-ass box of mine!" raritizzle holla'd, passin a funky-ass box of 'Fancy!' cereal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. "No!" Twilight yelled " it needz ta be tha kind of cereal I like, or tha universe will implode instead of exploding"

"Well I be afraid dis is tha only kind of cereal I have Twilight dear."

"Ugh! Yo ass is just wastin mah time!" Twilight holla'd ta Rarity, Twilight slammed tha door up in Rarityz grill n' ran off towardz tha next pony dat may have her straight-up cereal...

Fluttershy, hopefully dat freaky freaky biatch has tha kind of cereal Twilight likes, afta bout nine minutez of non-stop hustlin Twilight finally reached Fluttershyz house. "Flutershy is you awake?" Twilight holla'd while knockin on tha door.

"J-just go away." A voice dat suspiciously sounded like Fluttershy holla'd from inside tha house.

"I just need ta borrow some cereal Fluttershy." Da tickin time bomb Twilight holla'd.

" I-I aint gots any cereal Twilight just go away." tha voice holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Okay then, I be bout ta peep you later Fluttershy..." Protagonist holla'd, n' so Twilight strutted away towardz her next playas' house...

  Little did Twilight know, Fluttershy was feedin her muthafuckas breakfast, when suddenly, all of her birdz blew up like a muthafucka up in a funky-ass bloody mess coverin her up in they bloody remains, Fluttershy knew it was her fault, maybe she gave dem tha wack chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch. I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! So Flutershy was pissed off as fuck, n' when Twilight came over dat biiiiatch was gettin a noose locked n loaded ta hang her self... But whoz ass cares bout Fluttershy, dis be a rap bout Twilight.

Rainbow Dash mo' betta have tha kind of cereal Twilight likes.

but timez hustlin out, it was bout 8:00 by tha time she gots ta Rainbow Dashz cloud doggy den wit some fancy teleportin n' a cold-ass lil cloud struttin spell yo, but dat freaky freaky biatch had until 10:00 ta smoke her straight-up kind of cereal...

Twilight knocked on Rainbow Dashz door fo' a gangbangin' few minutes, until a upset rainbow dash finally opened tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "Twilight, biatch? What is you bustin here so early up in tha morning, biatch? Also, how tha fuck tha fuck is yo dirty ass not fallin ta yo' dirtnap?"

Rainbow axed tha unicorn standin all up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "Rainbow Dash, I be outta mah straight-up kind of cereal n' if I don't smoke a funky-ass bowl of it up in tha morning, tha universe will explode!" Twilight yelled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Oh no!" Rainbow Dash screeched like a funky-ass baby bein tortured wit rusty cutlery. "What kind of cereal do you like Twilight, biatch? I might have dat shit." Rainbow Dash holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I need 'Tasty Dome Flakes', It aint nuthin but mah straight-up kind of cereal." Twilight holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Oh, well sorry Twilight, I aint gots any of them." Rainbow holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Alright, I guess I be bout ta have ta ask Pinkie Pie now, if tha universe somehow don't explode I be bout ta peep you later Rainbow Dash."

"Bye Twilight!" Rainbow holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "What tha heck be a universe?" Cum Dumpsta Dash holla'd before goin back inside her doggy den ta continue Masturbatin ta mini-dawgs bein kicked.

"Alright, time ta ask Pinkie Pie, itz 8:30, n' I be almost at Sugar-cube Corner, here we go." Twilight holla'd.

A minute later she arrived at Pinkie Piez place of livin n' knocked on tha door, which was answered almost immediately by Pinkie Pie. "Yo Twilight, sorry but I aint gots tha cereal you like." Pinkie holla'd.

"Huh, biatch? how tha fuck did you know I needed cereal?" Twilight axed.

"I be a gangsta yo, but y'all knew dat n' mah Pinkie sense holla'd at mah crazy ass dat you still aint smoked you Dome Flakes dis mornin n' dat if you didn't by 10:00 tha universe would explode." Pinkie stated.

"Okay then Pinkie, I guess I be bout ta have ta go ask Applezjack if dat freaky freaky biatch has any Dome Flakes, I doubt it though, so we're all probably doomed, peep you later I guess." Twilight holla'd.

"Buh-Bye Twilight!" Pinkie holla'd.

Applezjack was Twilightz last hope, da hoe mo' betta have some fuckin 'Dome Flakes' or else we're all doomed, was what tha fuck Twilight Sparkle was thankin as she knocked on tha door ta Applezjackz house, Twilight only saw Big Mac on tha way here, so hopefully Applezjack won't already have left, luckily fo' her tha one whoz ass answered tha door WAS Applezjack.

"Applezjack I need some cereal or else tha universe will explode!" Twilight yelled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Well Twilight, ah don't give a fuck bout any eu-nie-vurse yo, but dat soundz mighty dangerous, what tha fuck kind of cereal do ya need?" Applezjack holla'd.

"I need Dome Flakes cereal, I axed mah playas else yo, but they didn't have any." Twilight holla'd, then Applezjack holla'd "Well Twilight yo ass is up in luck I gots a gangbangin' few boxez of that, you can have one I guess."

Twilight was like surprised "Yo ass muthafuckin have Dome Flakes?" she axed.

"Yeah, here ya go." Applezjack holla'd while handin Twilight a funky-ass box of Dome Flakes.

"Well props Applezjack, I gotta go home n' smoke dis now, I be bout ta peep you later!" Da purple unicorn holla'd, n' so Twilight ran back towardz her home...

In order fo' tha ritual ta work, Twilight must smoke tha cereal inside her house, Twilight rushed tha fuck into her house, breakin tha door down, grabbin a funky-ass bowl n' a spoon, she poured tha dome flakes tha fuck into tha bowl, dat freaky freaky biatch has two minutes until tha apocalypse begins, she opens tha fridge...

and therez no milk...

"THAT STUPID WHORE DRAGON, WHY DIDN'T HE BUY MORE MILK?!" Twilight yelled wit rage.

only 30 secondz left. "SPIIIKE!!!" Twilight yelled.

And then there was nothing.

the second one

H-H-HERE WE GO.