The April Fool

by Schizoid Nightfall

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna
Length: 1341

A tongue-in-cheek look at how I reacted to knighty/Poultron's announcements

When Twilight wakes up to find herself gold, she wonders what Celestia's plans are for the 1st of April.

Not meant to offend knighty or Poultron, but this is sort of how I reacted to everything that's been going on today and how I expect it to end.

Published 2013-04-01 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-01 22:30:02 UTC

What the Tartarus?

Twilight woke up slowly, Celestia’s sun glaring at her indifferently. When she looked at the calendar, a smile crept up her face. She loved April 1st. The opportunity to finally get Spike overwhelmed her, the prank she had been planning for months nearing completion. There was also something else that made the unicorn smile.

The world seemed brighter today for some reason, but it made her happy. Venturing into the bathroom, she looked in the mirror and leapt back, her scream betraying the shock.

She was gold. Literally, her coat, mane, horn, and eyes had all turned gold.

Her coat glowed brilliantly, the new shimmer reminding her of when she visited the Crystal Empire for the first time. The sensation of seeing this all of a sudden was jarring in more ways than one. Thinking that she must be dreaming, Twilight journeyed outside for some fresh air.

Upon leaving the library, she found that other ponies in town, like her, had turned gold. Most were still wandering around with shocked looks on their faces. The entire town seemed on edge, and nopony would look the gold ponies eye to eye.

Twilight went down to Sugarcube Corner to talk to Pinkie Pie, slowly realizing something strange: nopony was avoiding her gaze. Most even waved happily at her, a gesture she returned as enthusiastically as possible. Maybe her pink friend would be able to shed some light on things.

Twilight Sparkle entered the sweet shop and was quickly embraced by a happy gold pony.

“Hey there, Twilight! How are you today? Oh my gosh, I’m amazing because, you know, I’m GOLD! I mean, how cool is that? Aw, but you must be sad that you’re not gold and stuff, but at least you’re not alone! So how are you again? Huh, huh, huh, huh, HUH?”

“Uh, Pinkie? I am gold.”

“Oh, silly filly! You must not have heard. It’s only the most talked-about thing ever today!”

“What?”

Pinkie stopped for a second, thinking about how to proceed.

“Well, the way I figure it, everypony looks gold to themselves, but only certain ponies are actually gold. I think it’s like the earth ponies who are the grandchildren of an earth pony and a unicorn or something like that, which makes sense because my grammy was a uni!”

Twilight stood in her spot, perplexed. It did make sense at a certain level. Reasonably, this shouldn’t be possible, but dream logic never followed any sort of logic at all.

Returning outside after purchasing a cupcake and three blueberry muffins, Twilight wandered around, talking to other ponies as they went about their daily business. She quickly verified what Pinkie had said, as Lyra mentioned waking up gold even though she was still just as mint green as ever. Her marefriend, Bon Bon, was a different story, glowing a brilliant deep yellow when she came out to engage the purple unicorn with her partner.

Rarity was confused at first, but had apparently figured out pretty fast how the “gold ponies” thing worked, so she wasn’t shaken up at all. As a matter of fact, the designer had gotten fair amusement out of a letter she had gotten from her parents, who were still ecstatic over waking up gold.

As the day went on, Twilight began wondering about Celestia. Surely she had to have noticed the difference. After all, the Princess paid close attention to her subjects, so there had to be confusion on her end…

…Unless she was the reason for this. That certainly would explain a few things. Giving Discord the day off to prank all of Equestria? Today had to be a kind of Hearth’s Warming for the mischievous spirit. Allowing him to do what he wanted as long as it remained tasteful would be Celestia’s definition of fun. After all, if anyone deserved the title “Queen of Troll,” it was the solar Princess.

That settled it; Twilight went back home, determined to have Spike send a letter to Celestia asking her what was going on.

“Spike? Where are you?” she called to the empty treebrary. “You home? Spike?”

A muffle voice called from upstairs. “Up here, Twilight!”

The purple unicorn trotted briskly upstairs, opening the door to Spike’s room, coming face-to-face with the baby dragon and a large scroll in his claw.

“This came for you about ten minutes ago.”

Twilight opened the scroll and read it, her eyes steadily growing wider as she went on.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

It is with bitter tongue and a heavy heart that I write you today.

For over one thousand years I have watched over and protected Equestria. In that time, I have seen my own sister banished to the moon, loved and lost that love on several occasions, and watched you grow into a wonderful young mare. I have witnessed so much love in this world and share that feeling with all of my little ponies.

This is why I must leave.

Effective tomorrow, I relinquish my rule and hand it squarely to my sister, Luna. She will take full responsibility for the rising of the sun and moon each day, and will carry out all laws as she sees fit.

There are several reasons for my departure from Equestria. The leading cause is the wishes of my lifelong love, Chrysalis. She has expressed an interest in moving in together, and cannot leave her people leaderless. On top of this, recent changes in governance caused a disgruntled pony to send a hired hand to bludgeon my horn. As a result, I am unable to write or raise the sun, and this letter is being dictated through my secretary, Moondancer.

In the future, this will be a positive change, as I am finally able to pursue my long-time passion: gaming. Luna somehow got me into the idea, and I want to devote more time to it.

I know I’m leaving Equestria in very capable hands, and wish the best for you and your friends. An official statement by Luna should follow sometime today.

With all love,
Celestia.

Twilight Sparkle was stunned, mostly that Celestia would think she’d believe such an obvious prank. However, many of those doubts were dashed when Luna’s booming voice rang out over the countryside.

“ATTENTION SUBJECTS! IT IS I, YOUR PRINCESS LUNA! IT IS MY PAINFUL DUTY TO INFORM YOU THAT MY DEAR SISTER HAS RELINQUISHED HER RULE AND IS TO DEPART EQUESTRIA COME SUNDOWN TODAY! FROM THIS DAY FORTH, I WILL RULE IN HER PLACE.

“THERE WILL BE SOME CHANGES! FIRST AND FOREMOST, NO NEW GRIFFONS MAY BE BORN IN EQUESTRIA! THIS IS DUE TO DIFFICULTY IN MAINTAINING AN ACCURATE PICTURE OF THE PONY POPULATION! ALL GRIFFONS WILL BE ALLOWED TO REMAIN IN THE COUNTRY SHOULD THEY WISH, AND WILL BE COUNTED AS CITIZENS OF EQUESTRIA!

“AS FOR THE IDEA OF GOLD PONIES, THIS IS A NEW FEATURE. CERTAIN PONIES WILL BECOME GOLD PERMANENTLY UPON COMPLETION OF THE TEST WE ARE RUNNING. WE WILL ANNOUNCE SPECIFICS OF THIS PROCEDURE IN THREE DAYS’ TIME! WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!”

Twilight could hardly breathe. Celestia was leaving, and Luna was banning griffons from being born here? This seemed too fishy to be real. As dusk was fast approaching, she decided to sleep it over and face the music tomorrow.

Epilogue:

The next morning, Twilight Sparkle awoke to find a small envelope beside her bed with a small note attached to it.

Hey Twilight,

This came for you early this morning.

Spike

Twilight, still yawning, opened the envelope and read the short letter inside. The last thing she remembered that day was bursting into flames from frustration while simultaneously laughing harder than she could remember ever laughing before.

My Dearest Twilight,

April Fool!

Celestia

Author's Note

Obviously I wasn't going for quality here. It's an idea I had last night and didn't have the fortitude to type it out then. I hope this is received well and goes far.

Sorry if you are offended by this, knighty/Poultron.