Outbreak Equestria

by Meat Biscuit

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 1765

What would happen if Nazi zombies and My Little Pony were mashed into one? (First fan fiction constructive criticism welcomed.).

The 4 badass zombie killing machines, Tank Dempsey, Edward Richtofen, Takeo Masaki and Nicholai Belenski are teleported to Equestria when one of the Der Riese teleporters malfunctions. Thinking they escaped to paradise, they walk around and find a small village called Ponyville, where they learn that there is a zombie apocalypse there as well-and that Richtofen has taken all his technology with him.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-05 18:17:51 UTC

Der Riese

Story contains strong language. Viewer description is advised

"Comrades, I...I think we made it," a crazy German scientist said, panting while he stepped off the main frame pad.

"Remember Richtofen, your the one...that started this mess in the...first...place..." a certain American war hero groaned.

Teleporting can really make someone tired. Your molecular structure is taken apart then reformed while teleporting.

But the german, Edward Richtofen, (even though he was exhausted) ignored the American, Tank Dempsey, and looked around. Behind them, the drunken Russian, Nicholai Belenski, woke up from what he called a cat nap and stretched.

"Man, now I know how those american firefighters Dempsey told me about feel. All they need is a secret ingredient," He said while he stood up and drank from his never-ending vodka bottle.

"Nicholai, I don't think it's time for anymore of your silly naps. Do you realize where we are?" the German asked. Nicholai, remembering what happened just before his nap, looked around. Everything seemed to have a slight hue of deep blue. There was a building on either side of where they stood, with stairs leading to them and locked doors at the entrance. Fire overwhelmed some places. They were on an observation pad slightly more elevated than the floor below them. A small control panel was placed on a rail surrounding them except for a small staircase leading down to the rusty concrete floor. A fence stood ahead of them and behind it was a huge clock. The Russian squinted at it and saw that the red second hand was going up three seconds, then back down, repeating this process for which seemed like forever.

"Yes. We are in a place with no vodka and a stupid clock. We are fucked. So, what does this button do?" Nicholai asked.

"Nicholai, no!" Richtofen yelled but before he could stop the Russian, Nicholai pushed the button and an ear-splitting alarm sounded, and the door to a machine behind them shut.

"Nicholai, you Russian dog, what the hell have you done?!" Takeo Masaki said behind Nicholai.

"I did nothing, but I sure do like pressing these buttons."

"Stop pressing those damn buttons, Nicholai!" Dempsey shout fiercely and shoved Nicholai down the steps. Nicholai grunted as soon as he made contact with the floor. Angry, he shouted, "Dempsey, why do you hate me?" to which Dempsey replied, "You drink too much and is always doing something to fuck us over!"

"Russian, American, stand down! We are in the secret German facility where this outbreak started. It is known as 'Der Riese', or 'the Giant'. This is also where I-" Richtofen was interrupted when Takeo said,"Richofen, I don't think now is a good time to lecture us. Those bastards are hear as well!" He pointed to some Nazi zombies trying to pry the boards apart to enter the facility.

Richtofen reacted quickly and said, "Boys, grab your weapons. My children are coming."

"Aww, yeah, I was starting to get bored out here!" Dempsey happily cheered.

"You vodka-stealing maggots, i will kill you all!" Nicholai vowed.

"I will bring honor to my family!" Takeo sweared.

Dempsey took out his pistol and said, "Huh? M1911's? Where the hell did our snipers and rifles go?"

"Dempsey, we will have to work with these for now. Heavier firepower awaits us. Now, we must rid this facility of it's infection!" Richtofen laughed out crazily.

They were going to be there a while.

Give me the power!

They were shooting through the undead and were starting to run out of ammo.

"Dammit! My gun's almost dry!" an angry Dempsey solemnly yelled.

"We must get the power on! If we get to the power, it could be turned on, and all of my creations will help us."

"You mean if we get that power on, our lives will be preserved?" Takeo asked very confused.

"Yes!" the crazy German replied, "But we have to get to it first."

"Let's go find that power then! You lead the way, Doc," Nicholai pleaded.

Richtofen chose to open the room on the right.

"Great, another door. We're running out of points!" Richtofen exclaimed.

The other three soldiers shot Richtofen a confused look.

"Points...you say?" Dempsey asked.

"Never mind that, just buy that double-barreled shotgun on the wall." Richtofen quickly shot back.

'Weird,' Dempsey thought, 'This guy sure knows what the hell's going on.'

They all took one shotgun and Nicholai said, "This is not what I prefer but it will have to do," rather gruffly. More zombies were dying when Richtofen said, "Come, boys, we must reach the power. Nicholai, you have the most points. Open that door over here," Richtofen pointed to the door behind him.

"Quickly!"

Nicholai gave Richtofen a look that read, "Crazy Man," and walked over to the door.

"Press X to...what the fuck is this? I don't remember drinking lately."

Richtofen seemed worried and quickly said, "Just open the door!"

"Alright, if that will make you shut up," Nicholai said mockingly, I will open the door."

As soon as he touched the door it opened with a buzz.

Takeo wanted to know what the German was talking about, but he kept quiet.

They walked in when Dempsey saw the Thompson and cheered.

"Ooh-Rah, this is my kind of gun!" he quickly ran up to it and switched out his M1911 for the Thompson.

"American, I see you enjoy this kind of weaponry," Nicholai said, "but is it strong?"

"This baby might not be strong, but trust me Nicholai, this thing is just badass!" Dempsey said with a chuckle.

"No time for chit-chat, the hell spawns are coming!" Takeo shouted. Of course, Dempsey ran to the front of the room and held off the undead there, while Nicholai went behind him and shot any attacking maggots there with his double-barreled and once said, "This is getting a little too easy for me. This amazing drink will make things more interesting," and pulled out his beloved vodka. Richtofen and Takeo saved the two Ally's asses from the zombies at the two shattered remains of what use to be a furnace and a wall. Dempsey shot two heads off at once and immediately all that was left of their upper intelligence was a fleshy neck, bits of meat sticking out from some parts of their necks, and blood spewing out everywhere. allThough, even from their current conditions, the undead were, well, undead. Nicholai ended the remaining zombie with a slap-to-the-face from his alcohol bottle.

"That will teach you not to mess with the might of the Red Army!" he shouted with a grin smeared across his face.

"Nice kill there Nicholai," Dempsey muttered to Nicholai, "but I could have done better." and he ended that last sentence with a pat to the shoulder.

"Don't touch me." Nicholai said as soon as Dempsey gave his greetings and shoved him away.

"Richtofen, let me handle the debris that blocks us from the power." Takeo quietly uttered to Richtofen.

"Be my guest."

Takeo ran up to the debris, ignored the words that spilled the bottom of his vision, and 'cleared' it, to which static seemed to pull it into the air and then vanished.

"That will never get old." the american thought.

Richtofen reached the clearing and looked left and right, thinking silently to himself, thinking about where to go.

"Uh, Doc? If your worried about getting run over, there are no cars here. The little chicken can't get hurt here." Nicholai mocked.

"Shut up." Richtofen simply replied.

Eventually he chose the path to the left, and they found themselves at a small cliff next to a meshed drawbridge.

"Hurry, we should jump down here," Richtofen whispered and jumped down. The other three stayed doubtful about falling.

"well?"

Takeo just shrugged and jumped down. The other two did the same. Richtofen spotted a generator and sprinted towards it.

"Sweet machine, give us the power!" he yelled, pulled a lever, and laughed like a maniac. He had turned the power on. The bridge they'd passed was lowering. Steam was rising at the foot of the bridge.

Dempsey somewhat normally said, "I worry about him sometimes."

Nicholai was puzzled. "Why?"

Dempsey kept quiet.

"Haven't you realized by now? He's a crazy scientist and he cuts things up just for fun. I was overhearing Richtofen once and I heard him say, 'When I find those objects, I won't be needing those three soldiers anymore.' Now you see what I mean?"

Nicholai wasn't paying attention.

"What?"

"Never mind, just go fuck with your drink over there," he pointed to the little area behind Richtofen, "and leave me alone."

Nicholai walked over and sat by Richtofen. He drank from his newly found vodka bottle. After he drank some, he looked around. It was very foggy.

"Woah, this beer is amazing! I'm already starting to see things."

"Nicholai, it's not just you. We see it as well!" Takeo shouted to him. A demonic voice hissed "Fetch me their souls!"

Richtofen looked around and glumly said, "Mommy said not to hurt animals anymore."

Then Dempsey happily yelled, "Lets play fetch the grenade, puppies!"

Takeo proudly shouted, "I will send you back to the hell from which you came from!"

"My vodka! Stay back!" a currently-drunken Russian said.

Lightning struck an area next to Nicholai and out came a hellhound. Nicholai didn't see it coming and soon the hellhound had downed him.

"A little help here," he yelled to the other three, "now!"

Dempsey looked at a hellhound, then back to Nicholai. "I got you Nicholai," he said, "Hey! You two, German and Japanese! Protect me!" He ran up to Nicholai, took out a syringe and started to revive the downed Russian. When he finished Nicholai said, "I need new pair of trousers."

"Hello? We need help over here!" Richtofen said singsong-like. Dempsey and Nicholai ran back to them and shot the incoming hounds. One stood left and the hounds stopped spawning. Dempsey stabbed it with his knife and killed it. The fog cleared and they saw a glowing ammo crate floating above the ground. A power-drop.

"Get it. It will refill our ammo. Everyone reload!" Richtofen yelled. As soon as everyone finished reloading their weapons, Dempsey collected the power up and the demonic voice once again spoke, "Max Ammo!"

"More ammo to fuck up these maggots with!" Dempsey said.

"Now, we must find our perk-a-cola machines!" Richtofen said.

He new where they were, but he also new they needed to get the pack-a-punch machine on. Now there was no time to think. More zombies were coming.