Normal is Relative.

by Bananaroni

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Twilight Sparkle, Dark, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 9104

You are a human in a time were you are either a slave or a status symbol. You are different as you are small and your eyes are of two different colors. You were insulted by everypony who looked at you.

You are a human in a time were you are either a slave or a status symbol. You are different as you are small and your eyes are of two different colors. You were insulted by everypony who looked at you, including other humans. It's a sad reality you live. Hoping that one kind soul will bring you out of this hellish cell. Cage. Call it whatever. You'd rather be a slave.
At least they eat better.

Published 2013-04-02 13:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-24 00:04:09 UTC

1. Cage

1. Cage

They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
But they do say a lot of things.
Like 'It will get better' or 'There's many fish in the sea.' All these are are old clichés made to help us feel better about ourselves.
But how can you when you're trapped in a cage.
Alone.
Why are you trapped? Alone? Is it due to something you did? Maybe. But what if that something you did couldn't be controlled? What if it just, you know, happened?
But you are punished for it, non the less.
Well, maybe punish is a strong word. Put through intense labor may be a better term. Well, that is exactly what it is.
So yes. You are mistreated for being... You. What are you? Well, look down. You see a bipedal creature, don't you? Yes, you are, indeed, one of them. You are a human. A fascinating human. Whose society was run by the voice of one spread by many. Where lies, over time, become truth. Where the only magic was your heart still beating after a nights sleep.
But evolution has took its tool on you all. Well, not a human, specifically. But on another creature. Equines, actually. Ponies, to be specific. They've taken over like the Apes in those movies except with more peace (and a lot of magic) Yes, through ways that would shatter scientific theories, these ponies evolved into 3 separate forms. Unicorns, who some how wield magic, Pegasus, who can fly due to a very lightweight structure, and the normal earth ponies. Well, normal all depends on how you see it.
Does being able to talk and being able to come in close to any color imaginable qualify?
But that was a long time ago. Way before even your great grandparent were born. Long story short, these ponies grew sentient and built great cities, ditched electricity for magic, and in-slaved the human race for labor and other needs, such as being a pet.
You are one of what they would call pets. You have learned to speak like the others bred to be... Well, pets.
Having a human as a pet was a status symbol, especially around Canterlot. You, like any other human, cost a hefty amount of bits. Anyone who can afford you would probably be on the top of the food chain in terms of money. The slaves, who were rarely thought to speak, were a dime a dozen.
But, as said, not you. You are bred to be 'cute.' To look good. You are also bred for intelligence. No, no human is even close to pony intelligence, as most do not have enough access to books, but most are trained, by the shelters that hold you, to be, simply, butlers. Do as you are told with no exceptions.
And, you by all means are no different. You, though, are different as you are a higher dollar then most due to your unique mutation in which your eyes are both different colors. Ones a gold that seems to shine and the other's a blue that could make one feel like they're ankle deep in water. They are your most prominent feature, aside from your blond hair that makes you whole.
But you are a runt, you heard them say. You are smaller then all the others. Not a dwarf or midget, no, but at 5"3, you are definitely not normal. Well, again, that's all I'm the eyes of the beholder.
Now on with the story, away from the back round.
It was a normal day in the shelter for you in the outskirts of Cantelot. You lie down on the poorly made cot provided in your 10x10 area. It feels like a prison cell. It is dark and stinks of feces and such. I owners of this shelter are old and rarely clean were you and the others stay. It's a terrible way to live, and you wish that you could be a slave, as they get regular feedings, not the rare feedings here.
No one in this shelter talks much. No one ever comes to adopt or take anyone home. It's a wading pool for death. You always curl into a ball in the dark cell of yours, hoping for something or someone to take you from this hell. But it never comes. Because life just isn't fair, is it?
The day goes by with the growls of empty stomachs filling the air as the only audible sound. That is until the squeak of a door is heard and light- precious light- fills the eerie room. The light let's you see the faces of the others trapped and bond to this unholy hell. Their faces are skinny and show of malnutrition and days without food or water and the dirt and grime show from weeks- maybe months- without a washing. Everyone jumps up and stated at the figures in the doorway. You do as well. You see 3 figures, not the one that would come for feeding. They step closer and you see the face of the owner and 2 new ones, but one isn't a pony. It's a baby dragon with scales of purple and green. The other new one is a pony of pure white and a well pampers mane and tail of different shades of purple. You retreat back into your cot. You have never had any luck in the years you've been here. You are too small, you hear some say. Some even say your eyes are hideous. You curl back down on your cot, shielding away your eyes so you hear no more insults.
You hear the two new ones talking about some pony named Twilight. The dragon, presumably, is picking out which one to get, while the pony, again, presumably, is asking for the price. You overhear the male voice, probably belonging to the dragon, saying that this will be the best gift ever for that Twilight. The feminine voice agrees.
The dragon turns down many of the 'inmates,' and you see for just a second him walking right past you. The pony, who you just know realize is a unicorn, stops at you, though. She calls over the name Spike, which is probably the oh so original name of the baby dragon. She calls you over in a sophisticated, yet soothing, voice. "Come here, darling. It's ok."
You only lift your head up to see them. You hear a gasp. You quickly shield your eyes from view, hoping to not get another insult.
But what comes is nothing you would've excepted.
"Your eyes are amazing, darling! Aren't they just wonderful, Spike?" the pony cooed.
"Yea! They're awesome! You think Twilight would like this one?" said the Dragon.
"I do think so, indeed! Mister, how much is this one?" she asked.
The aging owner answered. "450 bits, ma'am."
"That is a lot of money. But it is for a friend and I am the Element of Generosity! I'll take him!"
You couldn't believe your ears. You're getting out of this hell-hole! The owner unlocks the cell and puts a dreaded leash on you. He goes over how you are trained in everything, and you give examples by answering 'Yes ma'am' and 'Yes Sir' a few times. You get walked outside by the baby dragon as the pony stays behind to pay. The dragon starts to talk to you. "Do you have a name, dude?" he asks.
You do not know how to answer. You were given numbers as a name at a young age, and that was your identity for as long as you remember. But, you know that you could not use numbers as a real name. But, you use them as your answer anyway. "My name is 289403, sir."
"That's not a name! That's just numbers! Oh, how about Blondy! Or Gold! Or Blue! Oh, I don't know, Twilights going to have to name you!" as he finished saying that, the pony walks out.
"Come on, Spike! We will miss the train!" she says.
"Oh yea! Come on, dude! Let's go!" he tugs on the leash. You obediently do as he does, and you three rush to the train station.
You three bored the train with a few stares. It was odd to see such a dirty human in fancy Canterlot. You sit across from the two who got you, hands folded across your lap. "Spike here tells me you have no name, huh?" the white unicorn says. You are dumbfounded how the dragon could have said anything without you knowing. "Don't worry, you'll have a name soon enough. Mines Rarity, and this is Spike," she pointed to the dragon in which you already knew his name. She starts to talk about who you will be going to. That Twilight pony. He is apparently the Princesses own student, which worries you. One mishap and you can be killed. This pony, who is a unicorn, lives in a hollowed out tree which doubles as a library. She is also one of the Elements of Harmony. You are getting real nervous as to how powerful she seems to be.
Rarity then tells you why they bought you for her. She apparently rather stay inside and read all day, and is fascinated by humans. So, as a gift, and being the Element of Generosity, Rarity suggested to Spike to go to Canterlot and get her a human. Which just to happens to e you.
You doze off a bit during the story, and she sees this. She chuckles a bit before stopping her talking. Your eyelids grow heavy and you struggle to remain awake.
But you just can't....

Author's Note

Sorry of its bad

2. Rarity

You don't know how long you were asleep, but you do know it is not good to fall asleep when not instructed or at night. Your eyes shoot away at the touch of a cool hoof. Your mouth opens almost as soon as your eyes and you say "I'm sorry, Miss Rarity!" as you see the hoof belongs to her. She lets out a soft giggle.
"Don't worry about it, darling. We have arrived." she said. You let out a sigh of relief as any pony who wasn't as nice as her would give punishment for what you did. Which was just sleeping.
"Come on, dude! Let's go!" waved the Dragon named Spike, who was ahead of the still seated you and standing Rarity. You obey as you follow Rarity off the train, which, even though you were sleeping most of the way, very much enjoyed.
What surprised you was Rarity nor Spike were using the horrid leash on you. You were surprised they had that much trust in you already.
Or they knew that you wouldn't try to run off because those who do get sent to labor with the illiterate slaves.
They led you on a path through a very quant town with cheery-faced pony inhabitants. They all waved hi to Rarity and Spike, and, catching you off guard, even you. You weren't sure what to do, and that was eminent to the ones waving to you. You saw most laugh and continue on as it being a minor infraction in their day. You wondered why you are being treated like a normal pony as you are far from it and, on the social food chain, lower then the poorest of residents, as you would be classified as a slave.
You put on a weary half smile. It was one of the first times you smiled (voluntarily) in a very long time. You felt safe here.
But you still know not to mess up. Anyone pony can send you back.
Or to a slave camp.
The walk ended at a building with a fitting name 'The Carousel Boutique' as the building has, indeed, a carousel built into its exterior. Spike opens the door and you here a bell ring presumably from the opening from the door and fall back to let Rarity enter first. She thanks you and you enter after her. You her a younger voice talk. "Welcome t- Oh it's you Spike! And hi Rarity! You a-" the owner of this young feminine voice stops as you come into view. You see that it's a young filly who has a stunning resemblance to Rarity who has the voice. She stares at you for a second before jumping from her position and towards you, stopping mere inches away. "Oh my gosh it's a human!" she almost tells as she circles around you. For a moment, you think this is who will be your new owner. But that thought is shattered as you hear Rarity talk.
"Sweetie Bell! It's not nice to do that to guests!" The young filly's head drops.
"I'm sorry mister," she says to you.
You would've replied quicker if you hadn't been schooled by Rarity calling you a Guest and not a pet or the common term 'Butler' or 'Slave' or simply 'Human'. You reply with a stuttering "I-it's o-ok, miss."
She giggles a bit at you calling her 'miss' and runs off to do... Whatever fillies do. "Now," says Rarity walking towards you. "Those cloths are simply horrid!" You look down to your self and see the standard shelter outfit you wear. It was mostly black with white stitching and were a one piece. The shoes were slip one of the same color scheme. They were dirty and torn and smelled like the rotting dead. You were surprised on how these powerful pony noses could stand you right now. "But first, I think you should take a shower."
Your body freezes at the word. It's something everyone at the shelter dreams about. A shower. I nice warm shower. It's a luxury even to pets, which is what you guess you are. Not even pets who are butlers to ponies who have company over constantly get many showers. Maybe once a month. But you, in your first day here and not even with the owner you will eventually have, will be getting this luxury.
"Please follow me." Says Rarity. With a smile growing on your face you nod and do as she says. She leads you to the bathroom with a shower and gives you a towel. You thank her many times, in which she replies, "Think nothing of it!"
You strip off the rancid clothes and get in the shower, even when it's still warming up. You smile witty the feel of the what're against your dirty skin. Your hair which hasn't been cut since forever takes awhile to get drenched. You soak your whole body and use the shampoo sparingly (Not wanting to use too much and get in trouble). After you wash yourself, you just stand in the shower, loving the feel the water. Taking it all in.
After all, this could be the only one you ever get.
You hear a knock at the door. "Darling, I think it's been long enough. I'm pretty sure you're clean now."
You snap into action with the call. You think for sure you are in trouble. You turn off the shower and wrap the towel around yourself (Don't want to be indecent!) and open the door. "I'm sorry, Miss Rarity!" You say a couple times. She laughs a bit.
"It's fine, Darling! Now dry off! I can't fit you into your new clothes when you're soaking wet!"
Did she just say 'New Clothes?'

Author's Note

Damned Devils can't score -_-

3. Clothes

Upon hearing new clothes, a smile creeps on your face. Close were a necessity to ponies, but every human did wear them. Most were old and clad in dirt and sweat, smelling unbearable. As was true with yours. Was, is the key word, as you can't seem to find them anywhere...
You follow the white unicorn to a back room. It's dark, even with her shining a light from her horn. You never understood magic, and find it scary, honestly. The weakest of unicorns can defeat the strongest of man. That is probably one of the reasons why humans have never fought bak against their unjust treatment. They do outnumber ponies by a sizable margin.
"Darling, would you happen to know your clothing size?" The unicorn named Rarity asked as she shuffled through racks of humanoid clothing.
You never really cared to look. Most at shelters were given some that were deliberately large so they fit, no matter what. This went double for you, as you are extremely short in size. You answer with, "No, Miss Rarity. I have never cared to look."
She giggles, for some odd reason. "Darling, there is no need to use 'Miss'. Rarity is perfectly fine."
"Yes M- Rarity." You reply. She smiles warmly. She grabs What looked like a suit and a pair of black pants and moves to leave the room. You quickly move out of the way to let her pass and follow suit. She leads you to the main area and handed you the articles of clothing. "Try those on, darling." she says. You grab the clothes and stare at her, biting your lower lip. "What's th- oh, right! Sorry darling! I'll turn around." and she did.
Humans are know for being notoriously modest in showing themselves. You are no different. Most ponies scowl humans for doing such, as ponies never wear anything. But what surprises you is that this pony very so willingly gave you your privacy.
Well, relatively. She was right there.
You quickly drop the towel and pit the clothes on. Perfect fit. You say that to Rarity, who was still looking away, and she whips around and prospect you in your new attire. Which is a simple suit and dress pants. "You look wonderful in them! Perfect on you!" she almost squee's with delight. "Oh! Now we need to do your hair! It's simply horrible!"
You could agree with that statement. It was uneven and horribly long. About to your shoulder. And your physic would add to the illusion of your sexuality. Not that you genuinely cared, honestly.
She practically drags you put the Boutique and through the town, ending up in what you suppose is a barber shop.
Correct you were as a heavy-set unicorn stallion with a two-tone brown mane and fur greeted you as you entered. Well, not really you. It was Rarity. "Ah! Rarity! Back so soon, ey?" he said in a deep voice.
"No, not me today. It's for this mess," she playfully rubbed your hair, making it more of a mess then it already is. "I trust you can do humans?"
"Ey, I can!" He levitated a pair of scissors and a comb within his horns glow. "Come now, young one. Let's cut your hair!"
You were not very fond of the idea. You disliked magic, and now having it control a pair of sharp scissors by your face, well. Let's just say you thought you could still get a nice women. If humans were ever completely freed. And you want to keep it that way. Not messed up by a strange barber.
But, you had no choice as you followed him and sat of a comfy chair. "Any way you want it cut?" he asked, presumably to you. You're not sure if you should answer, and thankfully, Rarity does for you.
"Just anyway you think looks good."
He nodded as he drew his utensils closer. You close your eyes in fear as he works away.
Through your cowering, you are not sure how long it took. But the end result was a non-distorted human face and a short, shaggy, stylish and hip haircut. Rarity so generously paid and she looks at you. "Oh, don't you just look darling! You are almost ready to be given to Twilight!"
"Almost, Rarity?" You question, making sure not to use miss, as she requested.
"Yes. Almost!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You arrived to the boutique with her after idle conversation. Which was weird, considering humans weren't normally talked to, as a posed to talked at. The rest of the day was boring, to say the least. The last highlight was when Rarity gave you a pair of shiny dress shoes to wear. Though big, they were amazing to have. New shoes. NEW shoes. This is a luxury little humans had! What made you so lucky to be here as a posed to anywhere else?
You sat across from Rarity, idly staring off at her cat, Opal. You found if fascinating, this feline creature. So full of grace with every step. It always fell feet- first, you noticed. It was hard for you to keep your eyes off.
Then you heard sniffling.
From right across you.
Rarity, who was reading a book, was crying. Crying! 'Did I don't something?' you ask yourself. "Miss Rarity, are you alright?" you ask in a tone of worry.
When she looks up to you, she is smiling. Not frowning. "Oh, it's just the ending of this book gets me every time!" was her answer.
You sigh, knowing that she is alright. But questions arise in your head. "Miss Rarity, you say 'Every time I read this.' Have you read it before?"
"Indeed," She answered. "Multiple times."
"If I could ask you a question."
"Go ahead, darling."
"Why do you cry when you know how the story ends?" you asked. If was bugging you a bit.
But she didn't answer. Just stared a bit, looking like she was in thought.
But she was different, somehow. She didn't wear her smile and she stood (sat) stiff.
'Did I break Rarity?'

Author's Note

Sorry for my lack of an update. My laptop received a fist to the screen.
No, really! I swear!
Anywho, this story in two chapter is having some good reviews! Nice! Let's hope for more!
Chapter th-three three three!

4. Bed

"Rarity, are you ok?" you ask in a bit of panic. Surely breaking a pony would get you in a lot of trouble.
Not 'surely', of course it will!
She shakes her head and blinks a few times before smiling. You let out a breath you were holding in. "Yes, dear. I'm fine. Just... what you said. I would have never thought a human would ask anything like that. It was... Philosophical, for lack of better words."
Not understanding a few parts of what she said (including how she would never except a human to say that as it was a simple question, and not understanding what philosophical meant) you ask her "What does 'philosophical' mean?"
"It means... Huh. I am not entirely sure how to answer that. No matter." she looks out the window to see the sun making its decent out of the sky.
You have re basic understating that the princess, Celestia, lowers the sun and Luna, the other princess, raises it. You prefer the nighttime, mostly for the darkness. You find it more secure under a blanket of black with glowing specs then under a single blob that is so bright it can blind you.
Many ponies would disagree with you, but you don't care. Not that it matters what you think. There is nothing you, a little human, can do. Your voice may be real, but it doesn't travel far. Falling upon deaf ears.
That is, if you said your opinions out, which is a crime for humans. Unless asked, you shall not have freedom of speech.
You do have quite a bit to say about that.
"Oh, it's getting late!" She says, putting the book down. "I think we both can use some sleep!"
You nod and walk to the corner of the room. You find a warmer spot on the relatively cold floor and curl down in a ball on it. You see Rarity tilting her head at you. "What are you doing?" she asks.
"You said we should sleep. I am just laying down so I can. Is this spot not good? If so, I will move right away!" I answer her as I get up out of my curled position.
"Oh no no no! You can't just sleep on the floor! That's horrible! Come! Come! Follow me." confused, you do as she says. She leads you to an empty, simple room. It was a single bad, a dresser, some bookshelves, and a nightstand. You adore the simplicity.
Well, that and this room is way better then the cell at the shelter.
You do wonder why she brought you here, though. Why did she bring you here? To tease you? To rub it in your face that she is better then you and that you will never be as good as her?
These thoughts are all possibilities. Ponies have been known to force their social status upon their pets (or slaves). They make them know they have no power and never will.
"Why did you Show me this?" you ask her in the most polite way possible.
She looks a bit shocked. "To sleep in here, why else?"
"Then I shall leave you to sleep, miss Rarity." you start to walk away when you hear her sigh.
"This is not my room. This is where YOU will sleep, not me."
Not only are you shocked, you feel stupid for not realizing she was offering you a room. "I-it's ok, Rarity. I can just sleep on the floor."
"Oh no no! Not a guest of mine will sleep on the cold floor!" Guest?
That word repeats in your mind. She called you a guest. Not slave or butler or pet. Just, guest. As though you had freedom to come and go as you please.
It was as though she almost... Cared for you.
"O-ok, miss Rarity."
"Please with the miss! Rarity will be just fine! Now please, enjoy the bed. Celestia knows the cage you were held in couldn't be comfortable."
Was that true...
You nod and walk to the bed, looking at it awkwardly. Yes, you knew what it was, but you didn't know how to actually sleep on it. You were told just to lay on it by a few other humans at the shelter. They were ones who muck a chance at laying on it.
But got caught.
So you get atop the white bed, curling up like you would on the floor. Boy, was it comfy! It was the best thing you ever felt! It was like a cloud!
But you would never know what a cloud felt like, really. Only pegasi can stand on clouds. In fact, most live on them.
Rarity, you hear, starts to laugh. "You don't know how to sleep on a bed, do you?"
You blush a bit before nodding.
"Hear, let me show you." she pulled back what seemed like a layer of the bed. You heard screaming in your head yelling 'No! You're going to ruin it!' "First, you pull back the sheets, like this. Next, you lay down with your head on the pillow, not curled up in a ball."
You slowly do as he said. To your disbelief, though the layer was pulled off, the bed feels better then before.
"Now, all you do is pull the covers over you, like this." She pulls the layer, which now you realize is a cover, up to your neck. This felt amazing! Warmth filled your body as you started to instantly turn tired. "Now, you just close your eyes and I'm going to leave. Last, you slowly go to sleep." you hear slow clopping of hooves leave the room. The light goes off ad the door creaks shut. You slowly tire out due to the warmth of this wonderful bed.
Your eyes become heavy.
And you drift into a quiet sleep.

Author's Note

Devils man. Fucking can't score. I'm done.

5. Butcher

Your dream was, as it always is, terrible. The nightmares that
haunted you for as long as you remember have not stopped, even with
you in a comfy bed and away from the shelter. The dreams are always
the same. You, alone, stranded in a black abyss. You look around to
see nothing but the absence of color. Black. A laugh is then heard. A
deep, hardy laugh. Evil, perhaps. You look for the source of the
sound, only to see more black. When you return your head forward, and
arrow pointing down appeared. You look down, seeing a newly formed,
small, white square in the darkness. You close your eyes and jump. You
fall. And fall. And fall. And fall. You feel like you're going to fall
forever.

But your eyes shoot open and you body jolts awake, putting you in
an upright position. You feel cold and are drenched in sweat. You feel
anger towards yourself. Every time! No matter how many times you have
that same exact dream, you always do this! It just feels so real, you
can't explain it.

You look around the room, seeing no change in it from last night.
Well, that's what you thought at first until you looked to your side
to see a chair that wasn't in here last night somehow made its way in
here with a sleeping pony in it. That pony is non-other then Rarity.
You're confused. Why is she in here? What's wrong with her room? You
move to wake her, but stop. You don't want to get her angry, so you
quietly lay back down in the bed.

Only for a giant creaking of wood to be heard.

You jump in fright from the sudden sound, falling off the bed and
plopping to the floor, creating a loud bang. You hastily get up,
looking to see if Rarity was woken from this.

And she was. Her eyes flutter awake and she let's out a yawn. She
looks around to see you, kneeling on the floor, head just over the
bed, staring at her with nervous eyes. You expect her to be mad.

But she's not.

Instead, she starts to laugh. You let out a sigh of relief. She's
not mad. Good.

After a mini laughing fit, she calms down. You are now sitting in
the bed with perfect posture and your hands tight at your knees. "My
my, your sure know how to wake a lady up, don't you?" Rarity playfully
asks. You just smile. "Well, I suppose you're wondering why I'm in
your room." you nod your head. "During the night, when I walked by on
my way for a glass of water, I peaked in on you to make sure you're
alright. I say you tossing and turning in bed, and sweating heavily. I
couldn't leave you like that! You were clearly having a nightmare! So
I tried to wake you up, but apparently you're a heavy sleeper. So I
brought a chair in here to see if you'd wake up. I guess I fell asleep
in the process," she explains.

Well, that's a good reason.

"Thank you for your concern, Rarity, but I have that same dream
every night. There is no need for you to watch me," you tell her in
the most polite voice you can muster.

She smiles. "Well, either way, I couldn't even if I wanted to. Not
without seeming like a creep, that is. Today, you're going to
Twilight! You're permanent home!" she announces.

Your smile widens. If this new pony is half as nice as Rarity,
you'd be happy.

"But we aren't going know. We need to get ready and Pinkie needs
to get the party set up." she explains.

Who's Pinkie?

"Ok," you reply simply.

"Alright. Now, before we start getting ready, I think we should
eat breakfast. Now, please, refresh me on what you eat? I forgot,"
Rarity said, blushing a bit towards the end.

Understanding not all ponies have the time to stock up on human
research, you answer. "We eat most of what ponies eat, except flowers
and hay. Well, I suppose we eat flowers, as well. Cauliflower is a
flower, right? I think so. We mostly eat meat, though. Fish, chicken,
beef. But at the shelter, we mostly ate fish." you answer, then
quickly grab you're mouth shut. 'You're rambling! Shut up! No pony
likes a talkative human!' you yell at yourself in your head.

Rarity didn't seem to notice your helpless babble, or just didn't
care. But, her smile did deflate at the sound of you eating meat.

Ponies, as any grade-school graduate will know, are herbivorous.
Just in case you don't know what that is, it means they eat plants,
not meat. But, what is strange with the ponies you encounter (And
being a human grown to be a 'maid', you gain the education of a grade
school-er,) is that they are able to digest eggs, which are most
defiantly not plants. They use eggs in most of their cooking;
pastries, pasta, cake. Heck, they even drink milk. This has baffled
pony scientists for ages, and they just don't know why they, ponies,
not being able to digest meat, are able to digest eggs and milk.

But hey, no-pony's complaining.

Now, back to Rarity. You notice her smile leaving her face once
you mention meat. Most ponies, being herbivorous, despise the idea of
eating other creatures. But, most have come to realize it's a part of
nature, and some have even become butchers, mostly for people to have
a way to get meat for their 'widdle hue-mans'. Rarity here must
still dislike the fact some creatures, even ones that live with
ponies, eat meat.

"Though I can't say I agree with your meat eating ways," Knew it,
"I guess that's just the way it is."

You quickly speak up. "Rarity, vegetables will be fine." You know
meat is expensive, and you don't want her wasting money.

"No no no! It's what you eat! I must!" She replies.

Not wanting to argue, but feeling you must, you take a gulp, hope
to Celestia you won't get in trouble, and talk back. "But Rarity, meat
is a lot of money!"

"Don't worry about money, dear! Your presence here is more then
enough payment!" she answers.

Not really understanding what she meant, but not being the one to
fight a loosing battle, you don't press the subject, and just nod your
head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before you two leave, Rarity fixed you up.

Your clothes were wrinkly (from sleeping in them) and in desperate
need to be washed again. So, she made you strip down and hand her your
clothes. She made a big deal about humans and their modesty, but
didn't look as you changed into a robe. A very ill-fitting robe. You
are guessing it's a size extra large for a pony. Defiantly not for a
human.

While your clothes were in rinse, wash, and repeat (curiosity of
Rarity's' amazing multitasking skills) she propped you up on a chair
and started to clean you up. Or, 'Make you presentable' as she said.

She combed back your hair after wetting it down and got it in a
very jagged, spiked look. She tweaked spikes, trying to make the un-
symmetrical style perfect, before taking a spray can and showering your
hair in it. The end result was spikes as hard as rocks sitting atop
your head, ready to puncture an unsuspecting foe.

Next was your nails. Grime and dirt was trapped under your
fingernails for year without cleaning and your hands were drier then a
dessert. That issue was quickly fixed with a tub of lotion, but the
fingernail problem remains. How was she going to get the dirt out?

That answer was quickly answered when she pulled out a rather
scary object. "Now, stay calm," she says as your eyes widen each inch
she moves it closer to your fingers,"I'm just getting the grime put.
Just washing your hands won't cut it."

The sharp object was inserted into your fingernails as you shut
your eyes closed, expecting pain. But instead, it was just a mild
discomfort.

This trend repeated 9 more times before the object was put away
and you let out a sigh of relief.

Your clothes finished and you rushed them on. Rarity looked over
you one last time before yelling "Perfect! Just one last thing." She
levitates a small, triangular glass bottle with a strange hose on it's
top over to you. You get close to it, examining it, then out of no
where, the pink liquid inside is sprayed onto you, luckily avoiding
your eyes. You sniff the air. 'Mmm... Fruity."

"You look absolutely dashing now!" Rarity nearly squealed.

"Well, it is because of you," you reply, looking over yourself in
the mirror. You're not egotistical, but you did look rather good.
Plus, you had deadly weapons on your head.

Rarity blushed, "Oh, stop it." Your stomach let out a loud rumble,
interrupting Rarity. This time, you blushed. "Now, I think it's time to
eat, wouldn't you say?"

You nod your head in agreement. Rarity makes her way out the door
and you follow suit, heading to wherever it is she's taking you.

"I never thought I'd have to go here," you heard her mumble under
her breath. You don't say anything, but it makes you wonder even more
where she's taking you.

Soon, you understand what she means.

She walks up, after a relativity long walk, to a dark colored
building that does not go at all with the makeup of the rest of the
town. A single door with no windows greets whoever walks by it. It's a
very shady looking building, aside from the red 'Open' sign hanging on
the door. Rarity hesitantly walks up to the door and pushes it open,
revealing an eerie scene, even for meat eaters.

Large chunks of meat hung from the ceilings on giant meat hooks on
both sides of the room, leaving just a pony-wide walkway to the glass
counter. Inside the glass counter held whole fish and what looked like
chicken covered in ice. A large, muscular stallion with a thousand
mile stare manned the register. Aside from being larger then the
average stallion, he looked fairly normal. Light brown fur (with
splotches of red and rust brown you only hope not to be blood
scattered on him) and a short, ginger colored mane and tail. His eyes
barely moved when you two entered. You looked over to Rarity, who was
carefully placing each step with the utmost of care, trying not to step
on any of the small puddles of blood on the floor.

After all, blood really does a number on coats.

You both made your way up to the counter, the stallions eyes
barely moving. You stood in front of him, Rarity by your side. He
didn't say a word. 'Awkward...'

"Uh... Hello?" Rarity spoke up.

"Hi! How may I help you?" the stallion, suddenly growing a (weird
and creepy) smile replied in a cheery voice. Taken aback from his
sudden act, it takes a few seconds to answer.

"Y-yes. I j-just am here f-for meat for this o-one," she points to
you, clearly scared. "W-what would y-you like?" she asks.

"Just fish, please," you quietly say.

"Fish, comin' up!" the stallion says as he grabs a fish from the
counter with his bare hooves and slams it down on the counter. "Would
you like this cooked?"

"U-uh... Y-yes please."

"Comin' up!" He goes into a back room, coming out minutes later
with a perfectly cooked fillet cut up and wrapped.

"Th-thank you," says Rarity, "How m-much will it b-be?"

"Don't worry! It's on the house! Plus, that human looks like it
could use some meat on his bones!" he looks over to you.

"Th-thank you very m-much, kind st-stallion," Rarity says, darting
for the door.

"Anytime!" you faintly hear him yes as you and Rarity dart out the
door.

And get as far away as possible.

Author's Note

OK, after over a month, I'm back!
I'd bore you with an excuse, but, as like assholes, everyone got one.

6. Creepy Ponies

You have no idea where you two were going. Then again, how could
you? You haven't spent a full day in this town, one. Two, you're a
human. You're rarely going to be out of the house in the first place.

Such is the life of a human...

This thought saddens you, as the night sky intrigued you. Its
beauty enticing you. All it was was just glowing specs within darkness
that had a giant, round hole in the middle of it.

Yet you just wanted to see it again.

The day sky wasn't as inviting. Aside from the light blue and some
clouds, there was nothing 'going on' to make you feel... You don't
know, at peace with it. There's a giant round fireball that if you
look at it for too long it will blind you, for Celestia's sake!

Not very inviting.

Eventually, you and Rarity make it to what looked like a park. You
obviously never saw one before, being trapped in a cage for the better
part of your life. But you, not being as ignorant as ponies think,
have been taught about these, as well as proper etiquette here. Granted,
there were no actual pictures, but they do give vivid details in
those books.

You and Rarity sit down on a bench as she hands you the cooked
fish. Her smile is shaky as she does so. She, clearly, hates the idea
of a creature eating meat. But, she seems like they type of pony not
to judge someone (pony) on what they eat (or look like, for that
matter.). Then again, everyone (pony) judges others. It's just comes
to us instinctively. Whether or not, you judge others at first site.

And you've faced quite a bit if that throughout your life.

But let us trail away from that thought. We've gone off track a
bit already, haven't we?

You eat your fish (which tasted superb) in relative peace. Ponies
walked by and threw disgusted glares at both of you, but you shrugged
it off. Rarity, on the other hand, seemed very distraught at the
attention. You didn't say anything, though. As you've been taught, 'keep
it closed or a hoof to the nose.'

Yes, that was the 'motto' they used.

Hey, it worked, didn't it?

Once you finished the rest of the fish, Rarity got up as did you,
and began walking. You don't mind walking. It's fun. So you follow.
Again, not like you had much of a choice.

After a short(ish) walk, you found yourself with a watering mouth.
You stood there, next to Rarity, looking up at a giant, over sized
gingerbread house with icing decorated all around it and candy spread
about. You were tempted to clime up on the roof and take one of those
over sized drops of candy, but decided against it s the consequences
would be huge.

But was it worth it? I mean, it IS over sized candy...

Rarity and you walked through the doors to be met with interior
that just made your mouth gape. Candy, candy everywhere. How was
Rarity so calm here? Delicious candy!

The aroma was that of a bakery (considering it is one) and didn't
help you in controlling yourself. Luckily, you pulled through.

You and Rarity were in the store for less then 15 seconds before a
pink furred, pink maned mare defied all laws of physics and magically
appeared directly in front of you two, too close for comfort. Her mane
was puffy, and she smelt of too many pastries (not like you were
smelling or anything! That's just weird! Though she did smell good...)
When she spoke, it sounded like an overactive 12 year old. Maybe she
had one to many pastries...

"Hey Rarity! Oh, oh! Is this the hue- man you got for Twilight?
He's so caaauuuute! What's his name? Oh, why am I asking you? Hello,
what your name? Mines Pinkie Pie!" This... Mare gasped. "I have to
finish setting up the party!" and with that, she disappeared.

Literally. Disappeared in a puff of dust.

She's not even a unicorn...

"Well, I got what I needed," Rarity said with a sigh. "Just had to
make sure she was getting the party set."

You nodded and (hesitantly) walked put of the bakery behind
Rarity. She looked up in the sky and gasped. "It's getting late!
Pinkie better have that party finished soon..."

You looked up and saw the sun about halfway through it's journey to
the other side of the horizon. It didn't seem too late. In fact, it
seemed early. Way early. Not even noon. "Uh, Rarity? Is it even past
noon yet?" you ask. "It doesn't seem late..."

"The party is at noon!" she answered.

Wait, what?

Confused, but not wanting to press the issue, you follow her, who
is now at a steady trot. You jog to keep up, wondering where you're
going know.

For some reason, this day feels... Rushed. Like whatever decides
the future to you is trying to hurry things up and in the process
making things not make sense...

Hmm...

Pondering and this thought, you forgot (or rather, didn't realize)
you were jogging behind Rarity, who had turned. You, aimlessly,
continued walking forward...

Right into a pony...

A mare to be exact. One who's a unicorn with a mint(ish) blue fur
and a mane that's close to the same,except some white within it. Her
cutie mark was a stringed instrument of sorts.

You and the mare fell over right into the dirt. "Hey, watch were
you're going!" she said without looking at you. She got up, still not
seeing it was a human (as this could warrant a punishment to you) and
dusted herself off. You try to sneak away, but you would have no such
luck. "What the?" she said as she finally saw you. "A human! Oh my
gosh you are so cute!" she squeed.

And you sat there, dumbfounded. She... Wasn't mad. At all, it
seemed. In fact, she was playing with your hands, oddly. This was a
bit uncomfortable for you...

You wouldn't dare say a word and delt with this until Rarity came
and dragged you away.

Literally, dragged. That crazy pony wouldn't let you go. Oh, and
you found out her name was Lyra.

So Rarity, who stopped trotting and you, who is know paying
attention, walked on, back to her boutique.

This town is freaking you out, so far. Yes, it's in a good way...
kind of. You seem to be welcomed here. Anywhere else, you'd have a
horrible punishment for running into that weird pony.

And speaking of weird ponies, that pink one freaked you out. A
lot. She seemed nice, but crazy all the same.

Like, really crazy.

She had that look in her eyes that just screamed crazy.

'Note to self, stay away from the pink one.'

But town aside and... Weird, freaky ponies... this felt like a
life deserved for no human. It was like you're an actual pony (Which
would be amazing).

But, you knew you couldn't become a pony. The only pony that can
do that is Celestia! Changing a species into another is no easy task.
Only extremely high powered unicorns can do it. Maybe not even them! It
may just be Alicorns.

But hey, what do you know? You maybe be 100% wrong, and the spell
is elementary to unicorns. What if what everything you were told was
a lie?

Wouldn't really be surprising, you admit. You are a lowly human,
again. You would not be impressed.

But snap out of these thoughts! Follow the white and purple pony!

Author's Note

So yea. Who knew getting hit by cars hurt?
I sure as hell didn't! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha...
But yea, it fucking hurts...

Twilight's party (Part 1)

You followed Rarity back to her Boutique. 'This is quite the reoccurring theme,' you thought to yourself.
In spite the fact that in this town, every pony has been treating you as an equal, you're be becoming weary of it. Yes, you were only here for a day maybe, but it seems just so... Unnatural. You don't know. You decide to just go with the flow.
So you make your way into Rarity's building of work and humble abode for some touching up, which you very much do not like.
Again, of course, you say nothing.
You have came to the conclusion (finally) that this is a 'very big deal', at least to her. Plus, she is obviously a perfectionist. Either that or her 'friend' is more then a friend.
But having a name like Twilight Sparkle, it's most likely a mare. Two mares can't fall in love.
Or can they?
You decide to veer off that debate in your head. You feel as though it will create political chaos somewhere...
So, dressed up in black in a stuffy tux, hair all done up, and oddly makeup on (once again...) you two make your way out.
This time, your destination is at the abode of this Twilight Sparkle you are apparently are going to be living with for the rest of your life. Well, hopefully.
Your hoping Twilight Sparkle is at least half as nice as Rarity. Heck, half as nice as any off the ponies you've met so far.
But not the pink one. Defiantly not the pink one.
The walk wasn't too long. But what made your jaw drop was the destination.
Now, you were told she lived in a library. What you weren't told was how crazy she was about books. Well, she's apparently crazy enough to live in what the books pages are made out of.
That's right, she lives in a tree.
I giant, hollowed out, tree.
You saw the door carved out as well of several windows. 'How is this tree not dead?' You wonder.
Your not genius of plants, whatever they may be called (Plantolosgists? You have no idea.), but you do know that a tree needs to get water somehow. The leaves were even a nice crisp green. You sigh. 'Magic...'
Rarity didn't even seem fazed by this. 'How?'
She knocked on the door, not like they are ever locked, you've seen, and out answered the green and purple baby dragon named Spike. "Thank Celestia you're here! Twilight's gonna be back any minute! We just finished setting up!" He said. You looked behind him and saw quite a bit of ponies inside the library that seemed strangely larger on the inside then the out. The library was set up like a child's birthday party. 'The amount of ponies in here really explain the lack of them on the streets...'
"Come on, dude! Follow me! Hurry!" The dragon named Spike gestured to you. You followed, as quite frankly, dragons scare you. All scaly and such...
He takes you to an area in the library where presents sat. 'Yup. Birthday party. Don't tell me she's a kid...'
He takes you to an over-sized box. "Hurry! Get in!" He hastily said.
You do not like this, but you do. The top closes and you're surrounded by darkness. You can here chatter going on outside. Ponies did turn their heads to look at you once you walked in. But suddenly, you hear 'She's coming!' And a hush.
Then 'SURPRISE!'
A stereotypical birthday party. How one can really be surprised by this is beyond you.
But, apparently this one was.
After the whole 'Oh My Celestia, you didn't have to do this!' conversation, the party commenced. Apparently, the gift opening wasn't until later, so you cursed slightly under your breath and got comfortable for the long run.
...You should've put emphasis on the 'long'.
You were in that cramped box for hours. The dragon, Spike, was even nice enough to give you some food to sustain yourself. 'Thank Celestia they didn't forget to but holes in the box...'
The worst part, you could hear almost every thing said in the party. It's like you had voices talking in your head all at once!
That... Did confuse you. How, with hearing not as good as ponies and being inside a box, were you able to hear all the conversations?
You just...don't know...
Sometimes, logic just seems to be a set of basic guidelines...
You heard cake time and party time come and past. It was getting quite boring in this box. They didn't even give you a book to read. Then again, it's not like you could read it in this lack of light, anyway. The little light that came in was from the holes in the top of the box. Small streams of light made its way onto you.
This was NOT fun...
Finally, you heard cheers for 'Present Time!' from a certain over-active mare. You heard many hoof-steps make its way towards you. You even heard this 'Twilight' insist on opening you first, only to get a big 'No Way' from Pinkie Pie. So, you have to deal with more of this for a little time longer.

Author's Note

Sorry for this chapter. It was going to being we, but I still don't know what I even am going to name him. Plus, I've kept you all waiting long enough.
Oh, and almost 600 views. Damn, really? But only 41 people left a like/dislike? (30 likes, 11 dislikes)
I understand some of the views may be repeats, but really, like it up if you like it! Please!
Make. My. Day.

SORRY GOIS

Hey people who have the misfortune of reading my terribly... terrible story (Yeah, yeah. I'm a martyr. Sue me.). Currently, I have lost any ability to write this story for many reason. I will try to lay them on ya now.
1.) School. I have SHIT TONS of work. I have priorities, ya know?
2.) Sports. It's a tough life being an athlete, especially a Goalie (Hockey) and Running back (Football.). We are so close to making the playoffs and winning our division for the 4th straight time (Won't tell ya sport, because fuck you).
And...
3.) I have nothing to write with. Currently, I am on a mother fucking public library computer. Not cool.
So yea. Sorry, but it may be awhile until I am able to have a real update. Remember, I still love you all, ya mother fuckers.
CHAPTER WILL BE DELETED WHEN I FINISH MY HIATUS.