A glitch in the program

by Lonepone

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, DJ P0N-3, Doctor Whooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Octavia, Comedy
Length: 11713

I (under a fake name with exaggerated circumstances) am transported to ponyville, and turned into a mare. This story is a part of the multi narrative story I'm writing.

A story where I am both the author and a character. I fall asleep, dreaming of ponies, only to wake up as a mare (originally I was a guy). I team up with Mr. Dash, AKA Jason, and Doctor Whooves, and we head to Vinyl's and Tavi's place, but if you've been reading my stories, you'll know that not everything is good there. This story happens about 3 years after A Sequal to My Little Dashie, and at the same time as My Perfect World.

Published 2013-04-02 12:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-30 16:10:25 UTC

My Little Human

"You ready to go?" Jason asks me.

"Eeyup. Just feels wierd going outside with nothing odd, you know"

The three of us laugh, and walk out the door. I guess they lived in an apartment, because we walk out the front door into a hall way. We go to the end of it, and walk out the front door.

Even for being early morning, there are tons of ponies even though its only morning. It seems fitting for Manehatten, though. We walk along the downtown streets, passing bakeries, clothing stores, a grocery store, and a huge department store. As I'm looking around, I notice a store full of merchandise for a specific brand it seems.

I tap Jason on the shoulder. "Am I seeing that right?"

Jason and Whooves turn to see what I'm looking at.

"Is that..." Jason starts.

"A My Little Human store?" Whooves finishes.

"We're checking that out" I say, not believing my eyes. We walk into the front of the store, and I can hear a song playing.

"My little human,
My little human,"

"No fucking way" Jason says.

They have shirts like the brony shirts on earth, but replaced with ponies. I find a shirt that on Earth would have Celestia.

"Is that... Obama?" I ask.

A voice surprises me. "Hey, you watch the show to?!" I jump, and turn to face the speaker. I recognize that light green coat, the golden eyes, the light green and white mane.

"Lyra Heartstrings?"

"How do you know my name? Are you one of my fans?" She gives me a suspicious look.

I need a way out of this fast. And a fan of what? So I lie. "Yeah, huge fan of yours!"

"Omigosh! Some one who's read my fanfics! I work here, so I get a lot of inspiration"

"Cool! Let my but a shirt so you can sign it!" I grab a shirt. She pulls out a sharpie, and signs my shirt in large, looping handwriting.

I pay for it, and then get out of the store with Whooves and Jason in tow.

I look down at my shirt, and I realize I have horrible luck. She signed one of the Obama shirts.

"Come on, lets get to the station..." I say.

Author's Note

Another little thing I did in study hall.

Before I upload the chapter I have done, I need to finish the corresponding chapter in 'My Perfect World'

Fourth wall on the fourth chapter

We get out at Ponyville train station. We stand for a moment, before Jason leads us to where Vinyl and Octavia live. On the way there, we pass through the local market. I look around, taking in the vibrant colors, the noise of ponies going about there business. Until I notice one stand in particular.

I elbow Jason. "Hehe. Check it out, pot dealer" I point to a pony selling cast iron pots. He rolls his eyes.

Eventually we get to a residential area. We walk up to a modern looking house, and Jason knocks on the door.

"Coming!" We hear hoof steps rush to the door. "Oh, hey Jason!" She looks behind him, and sees Whooves. "Hello, Doc" she says, smiling. "Come in, I haven't seen you for a while, and you have to introduce this stunning mare to me"

Me and Jason laugh. Octavia gives us an odd look as we walk in her and Vinyl's door. We walk past the entry way, and sit in the living room of the house. There's a fine black leather sofa with a matching recliner, a turntable, and a fairly large flat screen.

"So who are you?" Tavi asks politely, unknowingly.

I lightly chuckle. "Hello Octavia. Where to begin. Why not at the beginning?" I ask rhetorically. "I was a human. Back on earth, we have a show called My Little Pony, and ponies like you appear in it. I don't know how that happened, if this is some alternate universe, or what." I look at Doctor Whooves, the only pony with knowledge on that subject, but he just shrugs. "So, the older male fans of the show are called bronies. Us bronies would often write stories featuring ponies from the show. I wrote a fanfic about Jason here, about his daughter, and it came true. Or it was true. I'm not sure how it happened" I look at the surprised look on her and Whooves face, but I forgot, he hasn't found out either.

Whooves seems to be thinking about something. "What where you thinking about before you came here?" He asks me.

"Well, of how much I'd like to be in Equestria instead of Earth. Why?"

He laughs. "That's amazing! You wrote that story about us, and its true. You wrote in your head as you were sleeping a story of you in Equestria, and it came true! You write, and it becomes reality"

I concentrate really hard on something I want. There's a faint popping sound, and there it is. A fresh, cold but not too cold can of Mtn. Dew. I raise it up to my mouth, and gulp down as much as I can before the burning sensation of it going down my throat makes me stop. By the feel of the weight of it, I just swallowed three fourths of it in one drink. "I could get used to it" I say, can in hand.

"Those things are nasty. Why do you drink them?" Octavia asks me.

"Cuz they're bucking good, that's why. And they give you tons of energy"

"You and Vinyl both. What strange ponies" she says, shaking her head.

Jason's ears perk up. "Speaking of that, it's quiet. Where is she"

Octavia looks down. She explains to us how a few years ago, after the death of Rainbow Dash, she had found a pill bottle of drugs under the corner of Vinyl's bed while she was cleaning. When she questioned her about it, she said she could quit, and that she would. But two days ago, she found her laying on her floor, passed out, the same bottle next to her. After that, she kicked Vinyl out. She has no clue where she is now.

"I know" I say, surprising myself. But then a way to get to her appears in my head. Thank you, pony gods! "Well, I don't know but I know how to get to her. I'll rewrite this story, changing my location so that I'm in the same area as her. I have to do this on my own, though. I don't think I can safely bring us all there"

They all nod in agreement. Then Octavia says "bring her home safe. And what do you mean, this story?"

I laugh inside "Well, this seems exactly like what I'd be typing. So, in some alternate universe, I am writing this. And since what I'm writing come true, then I'll just rewrite it in my head"- a voice interrupts me. "I'm right, I am writing this. I am sitting at home, in my bed, typing away on my iPod while playing dubstep off pandora" I look around, and I see me, just leaning against the wall, wearing my black sweater. "In fact, I upload these stories to a site called Fimfiction.net. And make sure you spell you dialogue right, it's a bitch to correct mistakes on an iPod. Anyways, This is gonna be chapter four".

A can of Mtn. Dew appears in his hand. He raises it in salute to me. I raise mine back, then he's gone.

"What was that?" Octavia says, confused.

"That was a fourth wall break. The story I'm writing must have the comedy tag, so I'm guessing I ran out of ideas, and broke the fourth wall, trying to be funny.. You hear that, readers? Laugh! Or I will brake the fourth wall into your bedroom while you're sleeping, and do naughty things to you after I tie you up!" I say to you, the person reading this.

"Do I have to drink more bleach?" Whooves asks. Octavia giggles a little.

"Kay, I'm gonna go find Vinyl, be right back" I say. They stare at me expectantly. "Takes a while for me to type. Seriously, the more time I spend talking to you is more time I spend typing out our dialogue and actions, instead of me typing me teleporting to Vinyls location" They relax. "Stop! Don't do anything!" I can tell Jason is about to, but he contains it. I slide out one last thing before I go. "No orgies while I'm gone. I want to be a part of one if it takes place" I laugh as the fabric of space and time around me warp.

Author's Note

Hey, everypony! This is the pony me, the human me that normally types is asleep! But then I'm him, so is there a difference?

I'm making a habit of breaking the fourth wall on the fourth chapter, aren't I?

Hope this made you laugh! ~ the poniefied me who is the same thing as me (erggh! Headaches from over thinking it!)

Dark whisperings

The wormhole deposits me into a cold, abandoned warehouse. It's dark in here, and only one thing is lit up.

I gallop forward towards Vinyl Scratch. I look her over, and my own body seems to ache in sympathy. A rib sticking out of her chest, a split lip, multiple bruises from being hit, a few smack marks, and her right knee cap is cut off. Then I see the stab wound, right into her heart. And there's a playing card in it. A king.

I dip myself into the flow of this story, hoping to rewrite her so her injuries are gone. I concentrate, but this is harder then making a can of Mtn. Dew appear. Eventually, I think I've done a passable job of stitching her up. But it doesn't seem to have any effect.

I try something new. I reach out with my mind, I reach out to her, but all I feel are the last fading wisps of consciousness. I try to grab on to them, to hold them, to pull them back, but it's like trying to pick up water with a strainer. All I manage to do is hold on to the last tiny amount of her soul, and hold on to it. I'm trying to figure out what to do with it, when a voice inturrepts me, and I almost lose my grasp on it.

"She's dead. Let her go, you can't bring her back. You can't do anything with that last wisp" the voice spunds familiar, but i don't think about it at the moment. All I think is that he must have some of the same talents as me, so maybe together.

"Alone, I can not, but maybe together?" I feel the strangers mind hold onto the wisp, and then let it go.

"Leave the dead with the dead. Us living have enough to worry about" he says.I turn around to see the stranger, tears in my eyes. He gives me a disapproving look. "Really? You're crying? I thought I'd be stronger then that" he catches my surprised look. "What, haven't you been wondering why you're depression, you violence seems to have been missing lately?"

What he's saying is impossible. "I'm not you. You are a horrible person to have killed a pony" I launch my mind at his, attempting to rip the truth from his mind. To my surprise, he doesn't try to hide it. He does the opposite. He thrusts the truth onto me, overwhelming me.

Of the night on which I dreamed of ponies, of how the dream became something else. Of how he became him, not me. Of walking up for the first time, experiencing everything for the first time. Of feeling that beauty, but all the concentrated rage, anger, and misery bursting out, and destroying what he was admiring, a butterfly. Of him hating himself, only adding to the negativity. And then a thought. That he got all my negativity, freeing me. He was born, and then emediatly put under a great burden, all because my subconcouse wanted to be free.

And then a twisted thought, a way to gain power, feed off thought, and then corrupt me, so I can experience what I forced apon him.

"You see, I'm made from thought. I feed off of it. All the hate, anger, sadness. It gives me power. So why doesn't love, joy, and happiness give you power? Because your not like me. Your mortal, while I'm something else"

He changes shape, into a person. Into me. I'm shocked, not knowing it was possible.

He reads my thoughts. "Of course it's possible. You can change everything around you, so why not yourself?"

I focus on how I was, on my shape, my clothes, and I feel my body shift, my bones grow, stretch, rearrange, my innards move and change. My face morph.

The other me laughs. "I look hot as a chick" because, yeah. Looks like I can't change my gender.

I look down at myself. "What do you call yourself?" I ask him.

"Runner. I am Runner"

"Well, Runner, I agree with you. I am hot" he laughs, and I join in with him. Then the thoughts of our differences and similarities returns, and we stop.

"At the risk of sounding cliched, I have to kill you. It's the only way I can be whole, to have a heart. I'm just a shadow, a Nobody, capital N"

Those lines trigger certain memories in both of us.

"Do you have to do it this way?" I ask him.

"Maybe. I'll let us fight it out. Victor gets to live, and not be destroyed" I hear a familiar shnick. I look down to his right hand, and there is a Keyblade. It's a dark black and grey one, with the key chain being his cutie mark, a red knife.

"Can't get it up? I'll help you. You wanna know who's responsible for Rainbow Dash'es death? Us. I whispered into Celestia's ear, convincing her that is what she had to do. And thn I had Celestia kill herself when she wasn't useful. I killed Vinyl Scratch here just for fun. Don't you hate me? But I am you"

I lose it. His words infuriate me so much, I breach a walk in my mind I didn't know existed. I feel a weight settle in my right hand. I open my eyes, and look at my weapon. It's a red and white, mostly white, blade, a heart as the keychain. Not much flourish, simple, and to the point.

"That's more like it!" He says, and lunges at me, keyblade pointed at my heart.

Author's Note

I was going to add the fight scene in with this chapter, but I decided to put it in it's own chapter. Anypony know what I was referencing?

Dark Whispers Pt. 2

He slashes at me, and I can barely pull my blade up in time to block it. He follows it up with more attacks, and I can hardly defend myself. He pushes me back, and I have no choice but to retreat. He continues coming at me, attacking in looping blows, making it hard for me to block him. I finally sidestep one of his downward blows, and the tip of his blade gets lodged in the cement floor.

I go on the offensive. I swing my blade at him, double handed, hard as I can. He pulls his blade out of the ground, deflecting my hit. I continue trying to hit him with double handed blows, but he easily deflects all of them with flicks of his wrist. I switch it up, and I lunge forward and try to stab at him. His blade is pointed down and away from him, and it would take him to long to pull his up and block me. The tip of my sword continues forward, is almost to him, when suddenly, he just isn’t there. My momentum throws me forward, knocking me off balance. I push myself up off the ground, and turn in a circle, looking for where he went. He’s gone. Just simply, vanished.

His voice emanates from somewhere up in the rafters. “This is almost too easy when I can break all the rules of reality”. I look up, and he’s jumped down from the rafters, is falling, straight towards me, the razor sharp tip of his blade pointed directly at me. I have no time to physically move out of the way, out of reach from his blade. I take a few steps, and he lands directly in front of me. The cement cracks under his feet.

Of course, I have to take this opportunity. “So you’re the Hulk now? Able to jump from tall heights, land unharmed, and crack cement?”

And he replies. “Eeyup” He stands, and looks at me. “I could crush you in an instance, you know. I don’t see why you don’t just give up”. He smiles. I smile back at him. We stand there for a few moments, waiting to see who’ll make the first move. I look him over, then down at my feet. I’m standing in a pile of dirt. I dig my foot slightly into the pile, and wait for the right moment. He waits a few more moments, then jumps across the gap in between us. I kick the dirt up into his face. He falters, rubs his eye. I must’ve gotten some into his eyes, more than I was hoping for. I take a step forward. I have him. I kick him in the chest, knocking him to the ground, and put the tip of my blade to his throat.

“Who should give up now?” I ask with a smirk.

“You” He raises a hand, and I can feel something close around my throat. He raises his hand higher, and the force holding me by the neck lifts me higher. I hang there, while he gets up, and rubs the last little bits of dirt out of his eyes. “You’re obviously forgetting that I’m some kind of all powerful god, able to bend reality to my will” He looks at me for a moment. He laughs, low and quiet at first, but then high and loud. The laugh of the unstable. “We’re Vadering! See, I got you up in the air, my hand out as if I was strangling you, and you’re hanging there, hands around your throat”

I’m starting to black out from lack of oxygen. And that lack of oxygen gives me a wonderful idea. I focus on him, on Runner, focus on him being blown backwards, being bashed against the wall, of him being in my grip, not the other way around. I focus, and eventually something inside me snaps, releasing the energy. He flies back, hits the wall. There’s an audible snap that reverberates around the empty room. He hangs there in the air, still in my grip. He looks up at me, and smiles. It’s such a sickening smile, that I slam him hard against the ground. Repeatedly. He hangs there, broken, bleeding, still smiling.

“There you go. That all you got?”

I throw him back against the wall again, then the floor, and the wall again. I can’t believe he’s still breathing, much less conscious, after that.

I lift him into the air, where I’ll have a good aim at him, nothing in the way. I walk over to where I dropped my blade, and pick it up. I admire it’s edges, the sharpness, it’s colors. White, with red accents. I wonder what it would look like in crimson.

I throw the sword at him. The blade of it sinks into his gut, and stays there.

He looks down at the protrusion, then up at me. “Good job. I didn’t”- his head falls as he coughs. When he looks back up, his lips are red with blood -”I didn't know if you had it in you. But you do” I lower him to the ground, thinking he’s no longer a threat. He collapses onto his hands and knees, coughing, painting the cold, hard, cement floor red. The sword is still in his stomach.

He manages to get to his feet, and pulls the blade out. He winces slightly as the metal slides out of him. He walks up to me, his blade in one hand, mine in the other. “A little hint for you” He takes a step forward. “Never”- another step -”ever”- and another one -”throw away”- he’s standing right next to me now -”you’re only weapon”. He looks at me. I look at him. He hands me back my blade. We continue staring each other down.

And a shard of icy coldness inserts itself into my stomach. I look down, and his blade is lodged in me, up to the hilt. And yet, I feel no pain, not yet at least. I fall to my knees, and I can feel all my energy being sapped out of me. All I feel now is cold, mind numbing coldness. I can’t imagine how he handled it. I can feel my life slipping out of me, losing myself. I wrap my left hand, the one not holding my sword, around the hilt of his. I pull it out. And now I feel the pain of it.

I’m left with a gaping hole in my lower abdomen, very little energy, and a blood red sword in each hand. And the element of surprise. Runner is standing a ways away, back to me, thinking he just finished me off. I stand unsteadily on my two feet. I take one tentative step forward, then another. I walk up behind him. I can feel that in about one more minute, I’ll have lost too much blood to do anything.

“Surprise, motha-fucka” I say, And stab him from behind in the heart. I push the blade harder, until it sinks in as far as it will go. I let go of the blade, and then walk in front of him.

He looks up at me, down at the blade, and then back up at me. “How?” he asks. “I thought I killed you?”

“You did. But not fast enough. So I took you down with me” I’m seeing black spots now due to lack of blood. But there’s enough in me to see one last thing. Him pawing at the blade sticking out of his chest, before finally dying. My vision fades out.

Author's Note

I have one last chapter involving Lyra, and then this story is done. I might add a tiny epilogue, though.

How many times do I have to die in a day?

Cold hard ground. I lay there, wondering why that amazes me. I wonder why it’s always hard to remember things right when you wake up. Probably natures way to keep you from freaking out the second you wake up. I don’t know.

I open my eyes, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. It’s black, either way.

I stand up. It’s disconcerting to stand, and yet not see anything. I stand, and slowly things come into focus. I’m in a large... area. The ground is black, and there seems to be a fog hanging over anything, restricting how far I can see. I try to think back to how I got here, but my mind pulls up a blank. All I can remember is the fight with Runner, him stabbing me, and then what? Am I dead?

I walk forward, unable to see anything. Something appears out of the corner of my eye, but when I turn to look at it, it vanishes. And then theres another one, on my left now. I turn around, and I can see it running, but then it too vanishes. It’s all black, with long limbs, and yellow eyes. I turn around, and I can see more of them running. More yellow eyes.

I stand there, and a horrible feeling of being watched comes over me. I can feel their eyes on my back. ‘Don’t turn around, just don’t turn around’ I tell myself. If I turn around, they’ll be there. If I don’t, I could just be imagining them. And so, without turning around, I run. I run the fastest I’ve ever run, and I’m a good runner. Long distance, short, I’m fast. But I can hear them behind me, keeping up with me. As I run, I find that I know what those things are. Changelings.

I can’t run any further. I stop. I whirl around, but they aren’t there. I can hear them running around me, but I can’t see them. I close my eyes. If I can’t see them, I might just be imagining them. But those sounds sound real. I can hear one of them skitter closer to me then the rest of them. I open my eyes, and I see it’s hideous form standing inches from my right foot. So I do what comes naturally. I kick it. My foot lands with a satisfying crunch, and the creature goes flying off. The other ones circle me warily, but they don’t leave. They just stare at me with those sickening yellow eyes, those pools of yellow amidst the shadows. It’s really starting to piss me off, them just standing there, staring at me.

“What do you want?” I shout at the nearest one. It charges me, and I time myself just right. Right as it launches itself into the air at me, I reach out and grab it. It hisses at me, tries to bite my hand, but I have it around the throat. I grab it’s body with my other hand, and bring it down onto my knee. I hear a sharp crack, and a green fluid oozes out of it. One down, trillions to go.

Another one jumps at me, this one bigger than the last one, and this time, I line it up perfectly with my fist. I punch it right in the face as it comes flying at me, and it falls to the ground. I kick it, and it goes flying back. Two come at me at the same time, and I catch one, and throw it at the other. This continues on, until more and more are coming at me at once. They’re small, but nimble. I can easily take on three at a time, but anymore, and they start overwhelming me with sheer numbers.

Eventually, one big enough to knock me over tackles me, and I hit the ground, hard. They all pile on top of me, and I can feel countless, sharp teeth sink into me. I manage to get one arm free, and I swing at them until they manage to weigh me down again.

I’m feeling tired now, and I don’t have a clear sense of time. It seems that these changelings are sucking the life out of me, literally. I lay there, not resisting. I give up. I lay there for an indeterminate amount of time. It could have been only a few seconds, or it could have been years. A thought passes into my dull mind. How many times does a guy have to die in a day?

Eventually, It feels as if a weight is lifted off me. It’s the changelings being torn off me, but I can’t think of why, or who, or what.

“Took me forever to find you” says a familiar voice. I pass out.

I wake up on the same cold hard ground. This time, I can think clearly right away. “How many fucking times am I gonna wake up on the ground?” I ask to myself, but, to my surprise, someone answers.

“However many times you get knocked out” Says the same voice. I know that voice.

“Runner” I growl. I spring up, and see him sitting there, in pony form, looking content.

“Hello. You’re welcome for me saving you, by the way” He says.

“Where the fuck are we? Why aren’t we dead? And why did you save me?” I ask. He laughs.

“Where are we? You’re guess is as good as mine. Why aren’t we dead? Same answer as before. Why did I save you? That, I can answer. We have no clue where we are, or what might be happening. My guess is that we’ll have a better chance of survival sticking together. And really, I don’t feel like wandering around wherever the hell we are, with only my own thoughts to keep me company. Soon as we get back though, I might try killing you again”

I shrug. which is when I notice I’m back in pony form. I gotta figure that out how that works. “Even for how much I hate you, I still have to agree with you. Horrible to be stuck inside your own head with no outlet”

“You say you hate me, and yet I am you. You are one strange person” He looks at me.

“Whatever, let’s get moving. I hate this place” I walk forward, and he follows. We walk for what seems like hours, but its hard to tell time in a place where there’s nothing that changes. Eventually, Runner’s ears perk up.

“Ya hear that?” He asks me.

I listen, but I can’t hear anything. “No. Sure you aren’t just hearing things?”

“Na, it’s like people talking. This way” He starts walking in a different direction, and I follow him because there’s nowhere else to go. We walk for an indeterminate amount of time, me following him, and him just walking, blackness surrounding us, and the pale yellow eyes following us, and the same, damn, oppressive darkness pushing in, suffocating us. I’ve always been claustrophobic, and this is like hell to me. “Almost there. The voices are getting louder”

I can’t resist. I have to make a wisecrack about that. “You sure those voices aren’t in your head?”

He grins. “Possibly” Even for this guy trying to kill me, I’m liking him against my better wishes.

“Against your better wishes? Am I really that awesome that I got away with almost killing you?” He says. It almost seems as though he can- “Yes, I can read your fucking thoughts” Interesting. I might “Be able to put this to use, yeah. Might come in handy. You might as well say everything out loud. You can’t keep secrets from me”

“Fine. Since you insist. Why are you causing all this chaos?”

He laughs. “I’m guessing I’m gonna have to tell you eventually. Might as well pass the time as we walk”

I see something on the ground up ahead. “What’s that?” I ask Runner, pointing at it.

“Oh, what, because I have super vision, or something? Yeah, I can bend the laws of space and time, but I’m not that good. On that note” He closes his eyes for a second, and I can feel the location I’m at shift. Next thing I know, we’re standing right next to the object. And it’s a body. And I know the body. It’s-

“Holy fuck. Who talks like that inside their own head? It sounds like your writing a book, or something. Really? And yeah, it’s Vinyl Scratch”

“I, um, thought you killed her. What is she doing here?”

“Well, I thought I killed her to. Obviously, though, she’s here. And this is where the those voices are coming from”

“I don’t hear anything... You sure?”

“Yeah, you don’t hear it?” He thinks for a while. “I know. Let’s try this” Without warning, I feel his mind press up against mine, trying to grab hold of it. I instinctively recoil, but it doesn’t stop him. He presses in, and he opens up a part of my mind that I didn’t know existed. I can hear his thoughts now. “Wonderful. Now I can’t keep any secrets from you, either. Know listen, tell me if you hear it this time”

I listen, and I can hear a faint murmur of voices coming from Vinyl’s direction. “She’s dreaming” I say, cause that’s what’s causing it.

“Well, no shit, Sherlock”

I focus harder on her mind, and I can make out the basic details of it. Something about fishing on a boat, and catching a bass, then dropping it. Very confusing.

“Well, wake her up. She’d probably flip if her would be killer woke her up, right?”

I walk up to her, and shake her shoulder. Her eyes fly open, and the dream fades.

“Sound? Heavy Sound, that you?” She asks me. She blinks a few times. “I can’t believe it’s you. Where are we? How did I get here? Last thing I remember was, being killed?”

“I got some bad news for you. I have no clue who this Heavy Sound person is, and all three of us are probably dead. We have no clue where we are, or how to get back”

She looks around, Then jumps to her feet. A surge of fear rushes into her mind, along with a tint of anger. “Why the fuck is he here?!” She takes a step back. “You killed me! Why are you saving me?” She takes another step back, then turns and runs off into the darkness, the yellow eyes following us.

I run after her, and Runner keeps up with me. “You know, you could just teleport in front of her so we don’t have to run. Be a lot easier”

I focus on where I want to be, which is right in front of her, and I feel my location twist into the spot I want to be. I stand there, Vinyl feet in front of me. She tries to stop, to turn, but her momentum carries her forward into me, and she crashes into me. She gets up to continue running, but I grab her front leg, and hold her down. “Calm down, Vinyl, He’s not going to hurt you. Not yet”

“But”- she pants -”But, he killed me. I’m, dead?” She says the last part as a question. She struggles a little bit more, then gives up.

“So who is this ‘Sound’ person you thought I was?” I ask her.

“Just a college friend. You look exactly like him” I look at myself, and yep, I’m finally in the right gender. “So where the fuck are we?”

Runner sighs. “No bucking clue. I have no idea where or when we are. This might be heaven, or this could be hell” He hears what I’m thinking. “Don’t even”-

I start singing. “And I knew, this could be heaven, or this could be hell”

“Really? buckin’ really? You just had to break this serious moment with some random singing, didn’t you? This isn’t a Disney movie, this is a chapter on FimFiction, idiot. We don’t sing” I just laugh it off.

“Seriously, am I dead, or...” She trails off, as she notices the eyes watching us. “Um, dafuq?”

“Ignore them. As long as you’re around me, they won’t come near us. I have no clue why, just so” Runner says. She looks uncomfortable, but she listens to him. She does, however, keep me in between herself and him.

“So, now what?” I can feel her thoughts bubbling confusedly, not sure whether this is real or not.

“We just keep walking on, until we find something” I say.

Her thoughts turn a little depressed. She smiles, trying to hide that sadness. “Well, might as well get moving, right?” I nod, and walk forwards, not sure where I’m heading. We all continue onward, against the oppressive blackness. I can hear the other two’s thoughts, but eventually it all quiets down. In this profound mental silence, I can hear a background murmur. It’s like thousands of people all whispering. Whenever I try and pin down the source of these thoughts, they seem to slip out from under my mental grasp. If I was stronger, like Runner, I could probably get into it’s mind, but I’m not.

I feel some thoughts coming from Runner’s direction, and I wait, waiting to see what it is. Eventually he sends me a thought. ‘So you wanted to know why I’m causing all this chaos?’

I think back to him ‘Well, obviously. There must be some reason why you’re doing this’

‘Because everyone here is so much under the control of the leaders. They’ve disguised it as a utopia, but it’s not. Everyone is under the hoof of the rulers, unable to make any free choices. I’m here to liberate them’

‘But they’re happy. They like it like this’

‘Do they? You couldn’t hear thoughts like I could until now. If you listen closely, everyone seems happy. Most of them even believe their own lie of happiness. But deep down, they’re not not happy. Everyone, whether human or pony, longs for chaos, for no control, to be their own master. For their to be discord. Let me put it to you in a way you might understand. You love grimdarks, right? ‘Course you do. If not, where did I come from. But why do people like dark things like that? Of taking an innocent and perfect thing, and twisting it into something delightfully horrible like that? Because it satisfies our desire for chaos. Unfortunately, they don’t have a similar vent like that here in Equestria. So it builds up in a persons subconsciousness, slowly poisoning everything” He pauses while I soak his reasoning in, before continuing. ‘So, I am hear to satisfy that urge, to provide wide scale disharmony’ He finishes thinking. I try and reason with what he said, but I can’t find a way that to bring down his logic, other than it’s just simply wrong. ‘See? I’m right. You might as well help me’

I’m conflicted. The good side of me wants to go against him, and yet it’s so tempting to go rogue. Couple that with the fact that if we’re on the same side, there would be no one to stand against us other than Luna, and together, we could easily overpower her.

‘No worries, you don’t have to decide this moment. Just think about it until we get out, then decide. Anyways, who said you have to be the good guy?” His words cut right into any arguments I might have had against it. And wouldn’t it be nice to be one of the most powerful ponies in Equestria, if not the most powerful?

Runner speaks out loud. “Okay, let’s set up camp here. Good as anyplace. I’m tired, and it wouldn’t seem fair to make Vinyl take first watch” He looks at me.

“Fine, I’ll take it” The other two lay on the ground, and I stay sitting, watching the yellow eyes watch me watch them. I sit like this for a few hours, until Runner gets up and takes his shift. I walk a few steps off, and lay in the ground. I’m asleep in seconds.

“UP! EVERYONE UP!” I pull my self to my feet, and rub the sleep out of my eyes. When I can see clearly, I notice something has changed. It seems to be lighter, and all the changelings seem to be gone.

“How quickly did it start to light up?” I ask.

“Really quick”

Vinyl finally wakes up. “Huh? What’s happening?”

“Something. I’m not sure. It’s getting lighter”

The three of us sit together, first Runner, than me, than Vinyl, and we watch the sky get brighter. Eventually, it get’s to the brightness of a sunny day, and yet there is no sun. We can see till almost forever now, and it seems we’re just on a giant, featureless, flat plain. Eventually, a bright light appears in the distance, and grows brighter the closer it gets. Eventually, the light dies down, and two ponies are standing before us.

“Why, hello” She looks at Runner. “Well, you look familiar”, says the larger, white one.

Runner says nothing, but I can hear his thoughts saying one word: FUCK!

Author's Note

Hey, everypony, I'm back. I know it's been about two weeks since I last uploaded anything, so here it is, finally. I've been busy *cough cough return of the evil stepmother from hell cough*. I was writing this, but the chapter started getting so long I decided to cut it in half, and leave the ending in a bit of a cliff-hanger. I hope you enjoyed! Any feedback would be welcome.

Delete

I laugh. “Well, Isn’t this interesting. It seems like everyone’s appearing here”

Vinyl walks up to Dash. “Well, interesting to see you here”

Runner looks around nervously, before trying to make a run for it. He runs off into the distance, looking behind him. He seems to smile when he sees no one is following him.

“Should I go get him?” I ask Celestia.

“I don’t know how you’d catch up with him, but go for it, I guess” I sprint after him, quickly gaining ground on him. He sees me running up behind him, and he tries changing directions. Doesn’t work. He continues running, and changing directions, and I let him. I have no need to outrun him, I just need to out think him. He eventually ends up running towards the group he was trying to run from, because of how much he’s concentrating on running from me. He looks behind him for the last time, sees me far behind him, and laughs. And then proceeds to run right into Vinyl.

He gives up, and just stands there panting. “Well, now that you got me, what you gonna do with me?” He says defiantly.

I’m confused. “Why did you run? We’re the only way out of this place”

“Well, would you rather go with four people you inadvertently caused the deaths of, or would you rather be stuck in, wherever the fuck we are and hope you can find your own way out of here?”

What he says makes a bit of sense. Dash speaks up. “Well, you have a decision to make, don’t you? Leave with us, and possibly escape, or stay here for who knows how long? If I were you, I’d come with us”

He smiles, trying to find some sympathy. “Well, since you’ve asked me so nicely, I’ll just come with you four then”

The four of us look amongst ourselves, not sure if he means what he’s saying. I don’t believe him, and I can tell the others agree with me. We look at him. “Come on then, let’s go if you’re so reformed”

We start walking in the direction that the other two came from, and time seems to stretch on forever as we walk. Nothing changes as we walk, just the same white ground, and the same white fog surrounding us. What seems like hours pass as we walk on.

“We almost there yet?” I ask. It’s annoying as fuck, but someone had to say it eventually, so I decided to.

“Not yet” comes back the answer.

I wait fifteen minutes. “Are we there yet now?”

Vinyl turns around and gives me an annoyed look. “Really? Did you really just ask that again?”

“Well, I’m getting kind of tired you know, walking in this plane thing for about three days is kind of tiring”

“Well then, just ask the author for some help” she says.

“What? No, you can’t just break the fourth wall to make something easier. That’s just not right” I say.

A voice emanates from somewhere. “And why can’t you break the fourth wall? Seems perfectly legit”

Runner, being the cockiest of us five is the first to speak up. “And who might you be?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m the author of the story you’re in. I’m writing this line of dialogue right now, as I speak. But, of course, by the time anyone other than me reads it, I’ll have already written this”

I can hear dubstep in the background for some reason. “Why is there dubstep playing out of nowhere?”

The voice answers. “Because, I always play dubstep as loud as it goes when I’m writing. And since I’m breaking the fourth wall into the story, I guess some of the music came with me. Anyways, Isn’t there something you wanted to ask me?”

I speak up again. “Well, yeah, I was wondering if you could get us out of here quicker or something?”

The voice answers “‘Course I can. I am the author, aren’t I? I can do anything I want. Watch” The ground we’re standing on changes, until we’re standing in the middle of a field of corn. “I’m awesome, aren’t I?”

I’m getting annoyed by him. “Yeah, yeah, you’re amazing and everything. But a little focus wouldn’t hurt, would it?” our surroundings change back into blank, white, plane.

“And a little respect for people with god-like powers would be handy for you. Never piss someone off if they can make your life hell. And as for the focus, we’re waiting”

“Waiting for what?”

“You’ll see” he says with a touch of amusement. We stand around for awhile, waiting for something to happen. “She should be here any minute”

“Who is ‘she’?” I ask.

He laughs. “Nope. No spoilers. You gotta wait”- His words are broken off as a certain gray mare breaks through the plane we’re standing on.

“Hiya, boss. Whatcha need me to do?” Derpy says to apparently no one.

“Hey derpy. Nice to see you again. I need you to bring these five back. Think you can handle it?”

“Of course I can!”

Vinyl is just as confused as I am. “So, how did she get here?”

To which the voice replies “Well, you all know what breaking the fourth wall is, right? This is kind of like this, except it’s kind of a spatial variant. Called breaking the fourth panel, I think” Vinyl gives him an odd look, not fully believing him. “Do not question me!” He shouts. “I am the all powerful god-like person!”

“Alright, chill, just wondering”

Derpy focuses one of her eyes on me, the other wandering off as per usual. “You all coming? I got to get back home, muffins in the oven”

“Sure, but how?” I ask.

“Through that door, idiot!” Derpy says, pointing to a door that was not there five seconds ago.

“Not even going to ask” I mutter under my breath as I walk towards it.

The author speaks up as the six of us walk. “By the way, Vinyl, I’m going to have to erase this from your memory. I don’t feel like rewriting this in your side of the story”

“You’re writing my side of the story? How far back would you be going?” She asks, trying not to sound suspicious.

“Oh, just from when you first got to college, until maybe a year or so from now. Why, something you don’t want everyone to read?”

She turns bright red. “Nope, not at all” She says, lying horribly. “And I suppose there's no point in arguing with you, is there? Just gonna do what you’re gonna do”

“Yep”

I walk over to Vinyl, and punch her hard on the should. She turns around, and stares angrily at me. “I’ll get you for that, you better watch out”

I laugh in her face. “No you won’t. You’ll forget this even happened. The opportunity was”- I’m cut off as she rams into me, sending me sprawling.

“What did I tell you?” She walks to the door, and through it. I pick myself up off the ground, and follow her through.

The door apparently had the ability to cross dimensions or something, because we wind up inside of Derpy’s house. I look behind me, but all I see is a blank wall. I walk up to it, and tap it. Completely solid. I walk forward a little bit, when I hear a little popping sound, and I look over to see Celestia standing where she wasn’t five seconds ago. The same happens with Dash. I wait for Runner to appear, but he doesn’t. I walk with the other two into the living room/dining room, to see Vinyl laying on the couch, asleep. I can hear a song coming from her mind, but it’s so quiet I can’t make it out. I go to wake her up, but at the last moment, I decide not to. I sit down on the couch next to her. Dash and Celestia walk in also, and each pick their own seat.

We sit there, looking at each other, before I finally speak up. “Never thought I’d see you to. Can you explain, or?”

Dash answers me. “No, I can’t really explain anything. Probably the same reason as to why you’re not dead”

I nod, and then my thoughts trail off. I jump when a person just appears, sitting on the couch next to me. I look, and it’s me. Same black hoodie, headphones and all.

He speaks up. “Thought I might” -he pauses for effect- “drop in for a little bit. I got a little bit of explaining to do, bringing you guys up to speed. You see the thing is, none of you are supposed to exist in the way things are now. The only story I’ve been writing is Vinyl’s” He nods at Celestia and Dash. “You two were never supposed to have died. I managed to bring you back, but I don’t know if I can do it again”

I think I know where he’s going, but I want to make sure. “So then why are we here?”

“I’ll tell you, just hang on for a moment. I write all my stories on Google Drive. Nothing too exciting about that, I’m not a tech genius, so I use simple stuff I can understand. However, it seems as though my Gmail and Fimfiction accounts have been hacked, and these stories published under my names. I’m no genius, so I can’t do any fancy encrypting” He points to me. “The entire reason you exist is because of that hacker. I had no plans to do anything even relating to this, and yet, here you and that Runner character are”

I don’t like how my entire existence was started because of some random person on the internet. But I’m not going to complain, otherwise I wouldn’t be here at all. “Talking about Runner, where is he?”

“I’m holding on to him for a little bit. And I don’t know if Vinyl would like waking up, fully alive, to see him sitting and talking with everyone. Anyways, I don’t know the hackers purpose, or anything about him or her, all I know is that they’re messing with stuff here. And I’m not sure where here is exactly. I might have either opened some interdimensional portal thing using my home computer, accidently created some weird alternate dimension using the internet, or something along those lines. Either way, you and Runner aren’t supposed to exist”

“What do you mean I’m not supposed to exist? I might have been some error or something, but I have every right to exist. Even so, what are you going to do about it?”

“What I was planning was to delete this story, which should erase all the events that have happened, along with anyone who shouldn’t exist, mainly you and Runner”

“That sounds alot like flat out murder. You can’t just delete me because you don’t like where I fit in. I deserve to exist”

“Technically, you’re just a computer program thing that’s malfunctioning. I have every right to. And no you don’t have the right. You’re not a person, you’re probably not even real”

I try and find an argument. I look over at Dash and Celestia, only to see that they’re frozen, as if time was frozen.

“And yes, I paused time for a moment to talk to you. You see, I don’t have a choice. By you existing, you’re threatening the stability of this entire world. I have no choice but to delete you”

“I see. For the greater good, right?” I look down at myself.

“I suppose I could give you some time. A day?”

I look up at him. “Yeah, I suppose”

“Alright. At sunset, I’ll meet you back here. See you then” he fades out, and time once again moves forward.

I stand up on my four hooves, savoring the feeling of my existence. “Well, I’m going to have to leave. I got stuff to do” I walk out of the room before either of them can say anything. I walk through the back door, and onto the street. I walk down the sidewalk, not knowing where I’m going. I look up at the sun, and see that I have maybe two or three hours until evening. I realize I have absolutely no idea where I am, and that I’ll probably have a hard time finding my way back. I look around, trying to find somewhere to get something to eat. I might as well have a last meal. I look, but I guess I’m in some residential area. And completely lost.

I’ve managed to pass an entire hour in my wanderings, and I decide to spend the next one finding my way back to Derpy’s.

The sun is almost touching the horizon now, and I think I know where I am. But is this really how I’m going to spend the last hour or so of my life? Walking along in some neighborhood, hoping that I’m going to get there on time? But then, why am I worrying so much about it? I’m not supposed to exist to begin with, and me being here is only putting everypony in danger. It would be better if I left.

I’ve finally found my way back to Derpy’s. I knock, and wait for her to answer.

“Coming!” I hear multiple things crash, and I smile to myself. Derpy opens up the door. “Oh, good. Boss thought you might be late” I walk in, and go to the living room. And there I am. Sitting, nonchalant, as if everything was alright.

“Glad you could make it. Ready?”

I laugh, and he gives me a strange look. “Ready? How could I ever be ready for something like this? But yeah, I’m ready”

Derpy walks into the room, carrying a tray with fresh baked muffins on it. “Muffins, anyone?”

He speaks up. “Sure, Derpy. What flavor?”

“Muffin flavor!”

I get up, and look at the muffins she made. And, as she said, they’re muffin flavored. They have little tiny muffins imbedded in them, instead of chocolate chips or blueberries, or some other thing. “Derpy, how did you do this?”

“I just made them. I made little tiny muffins, and baked them into the muffin”

“But, Derpy, that’s impossible. I mean, it shouldn’t be possible to make little tiny muffins, and then bake them into larger ones”

She gives me a look. “I just did it, didn’t I?”

I sigh. “Okay, you got me there” I look at the author. “So what do we do?”

“Well, it’s hard to explain. I’ll bring the two of us to an in between dimension thingy, wipe you from everyponies memory, and then we’ll have to sever the link. I’ll close it from my end. I’ll delete Runner, giving you a little bit more power for what you can do. With that power, you’ll have to erase yourself, and then close the link from the inside”

“Why can’t you just delete both of us, and do it on your own?”

“Because, I can only do so much from my home computer. What you see here”- He waves his hand for emphasis -“Isn’t real. I’m not really here. And, now that I think about it, I can do the memory wiping part by myself”

“I see. So after this, no one will remember me?” The thought weighs me down.

“Yes” He he looks out the window. “Well, time to go. Goodbye, Derpy, gonna miss you”

Derpy tears up a little. “By, Boss. I’m gonna miss having you around. You were one of the few that were ever nice to me”

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix that. And, could you keep an eye on Vinyl and them? I want to make sure that their memory gets wiped correctly”

She lights up. “Yup! Sure can do, Boss!”

Me and him get up, and walk to a door at the end of the hall way. He opens it, and yet the only thing behind it is the wall. He walks forward, into the wall, and goes right through it. I look behind me, and see Derpy standing there , watching me. “Bye” I say, and then walk through the wall.

I’m standing on seemingly nothing, and yet it feels like there's solid ground beneath my hooves. There seems to be a light song floating about this place. It looks like the place I was at before, right after I ‘died’, but less creepy feeling. I feel tired, as though this place were sucking all the energy out of me, as if I have to hold myself together.

I look around, and yet the author isn’t here. I hear his voice. “So I’ve taken care of everything. All you have to do now is let go. Good bye”

I reach down inside my mind, feeling for the power that lets me reshape the world as I see fit. I feel it now, more powerful than it was before. I go to rewrite the world, but on a larger scale than ever before. I’m not moving myself a distance, I’m changing the very fabric of existence. The white light of this place fades, and I look down at myself. I’m dissolving.

It’s the strangest thing ever. I’m slowly fading out. As I fade out, all my energy seems to go with it. I’m scared. Not of death, I never have been, but of what comes after it. I’m not supposed to exist, so where do I go after this? I try and stop the process, to save myself, but I can’t. There’s what looks like little grains of stuff coming off me, floating away in some unfelt breeze. I don’t know whether it’s real or not, but I can see my memories playing out as if on screens in front of me. Of me with my few friends, but there isn’t much there. Of me playing games, but I wasn’t being the best at them. Of me taking exams, with high hopes, only to receive average scores. I fall to the ground, no longer able to support my self. My vision fades out, but stays long enough for me to see these memories of mine change from when I was human and on Earth, to me as a pony on Equestria. But I’m not only seeing my memories, but all the deleted ones as well, from others.

I can feel myself wanting to pass out, to slip into the void of eternal sleep, and yet I try to hang on. When I realize that me trying to stay is futile, my subconscious decides to take matters into it’s own hands. I can’t tell what it’s doing, but at this point I’m too tired to care. I have one last thought before I let myself go. What if this isn’t real, but only a dream inside a dream?

Author's Note

Well, I'm done. This story line is finished for the most part, but I have a surprise in 'My Perfect World' relating to this. I know this chapter is huge, but I had to finish it. This story has gotten so messed up and changed from what I originally wanted it to be. I decided to use this story as a way to clean it all up, in a way, while still keeping it interesting.

The song is Creep, by Deadmau5. I do not own the song, or any part of it.

I'm a mare!

I sit down on my bed, wishing I was anywhere but here, with my stepmother. Do this, do that. All I ever hear.

It wouldn't be so bad if I at least had my music. No matter what changes in my life, my music will always be there, never leave me because I'm different, because I'm wierd, unlike it. Because I'm a guy that watches My Little Pony and likes it. Just like my good and only friend Lucas. But he hasn't talked to me recently, because now he has all these popular jock friends.

I thought us two bronies would stick together, but apperantly not. So now all I have is my music. Which is a small thing compared to a friend. Well, I do have friends that don't exist. The ponies.

A thought pops into my head. I wish I was in Equestria. I would happily leave all this behind, all my hurt, all my depression, to just up and leave.. I would do anything, to leave this for anything. And while i try not to think about it, suicide might be one of the options for me, just a few, or a lot, of painkillers to take away the pain of living. To sleep, forever more.

I fall back on my bed, thoughts of Ponyville possessing me, pulling me out of my dark state of mind. Of whether I'd still be human, or turn into a pony. I've read quite a few fanfics about this topic. I've even written one myself, a sequel to my little dashie. I think about how nice it would be, to live in my story.

It's those thoughts that lull me to sleep, thoughts of leaving this behind for Equestria.

I'm surprised my stepmother hasn't yelled at me yet to wake up. I stretch on my bed, glad she let me sleep, savoring the feeling of the sunlight on my limbs.

Hold on a minute, my windows only let sun in during the evening. And I sleep under many warm, thick blankets due to the cold Minnesotan nights. All I feel is a light sheet.

"Glad to see your up" says a male voice I don't recognize. My eyes snap open, only to see a blue stallion with a red, blue, and green mane. A Pegasus that I would recognize anywhere. A Pegasus that I made.

"You don't exist" I say to his face. My voice sounds slightly higher then usual, but I don't really notice.

He laughs good naturedly. "'Course I do! Your just a little confused, miss. I found you passed out on the side of the road. Party to hard last night?" He sas with a slight smile. But only one word reaches my ears. Miss.

"Miss? But I'm a..." I see my reflection on a mirror on the wall.

I can feel the scream start down by my diagram, and work its way up until it bursts out of my mouth. And it sounds like what a genderbent me would sound like. I continue until I run out of breath.

I fill in my lungs to scream again, but he puts a hoof on my muzzle, stopping me. "Shush, you're gonna make my ears bleed. Why are you screaming?"

I look at the mirror, and take in what I look like. Most of my body is covered by the sheet, but my face is perfectly visable. Bright blue eyes. Yellow hair. And a dark green coat. And a horn. I'm a unicorn. Except I'm a mare, not a stallion. My face twists, and I can see the panicked look reflected on the mirror.

I look back to the Pegasus. "Who are you?" I ask in a scared voice.

"I'm Jason, why?" He asks, confusion all over his face.

I'm shocked. "You don't exist. I made you. I wrote a sequel to My Little Dashie where Dr. Whooves brings you here, you turn into a pony, you go off to save Rainbow Dash, but it's all an elaborate prank they were pulling on everyone"

A sad look comes over him. His shoulders drop. "I wish it was a joke. Both Dashie and Celestia are dead" He thinks for a moment. "You came from earth then, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, and so did you. You led a boring life for a few years without your dashie, just like me. You came here, just like me. You turned into a pony, just like me. You like dubstep, just like me. And it seems like because of it, you turned out as a guy that looks on the bright side. Just because we come from similar paths doesn't mean we have same personalities. While you're happy go lucky, I'm cold, calculating, and cynical. So good luck being chums with me" He looks taken back by my sudden outburst.

I facehoof. Hehe, I've always wanted to do that. "Sorry. Whenever I get, uhmm, in an odd situation, such as suddenly having my gender switched, I lash out at everyone verbally. It's a defense mechanism. All of that's true, just not as aggresively as I made it sound. I can be a happy guy. Erhm..."-I look under the covers at myself- "you get my point.

He breaks out in a wide grin. "No prob. We all have our issues. And anyways, sometimes the happiest looking pony is the saddest feeling pony"

"So. Celestia and Dash dead?" I look at him, pleading that its some joke.

"Yeah... What really happened is that Celestia wasn't joking. My Dashie was put in the Pegasus Device, and" -his eyes water- "she was" -a tear rolls down one cheek- "killed. Three years later, and it only seems to be getting worse with each passing day"I'm silent. I never know what to say in these situations.

I stand up and embrace him. "I'm here for you if you want to talk. I know you better then you think. I did write you, after all" and then the human part of my mind kicks in. He's not wearing any clothes. I'm not wearing any. And I wrote a, uhm... Slightly intresting scene between him and Vinyl. This just feels wierd. I let go and take a step back.

"I should take you to ponyville to see Octavia and Vinyl! Soon as Whooves gets back from the store we'll get on the train and leave. Sound good?"

At that exact moment, Doctor Whooves walks in the door. "I'm back, Jason" he notices me, and I can almost see his eyes widen. "And who might this lovely young mare be?"

I'm so disgusted, and yet the chance to troll him is so great I have to take it. "Tell me your name first, big guy"

He stammers. "D-Doctor Whooves, ma'am"

This just seems really wierd in my mind, and yet I must go on. "You never get to be around 'lovely young mares' like me much, do you?" He shakes his head no. "Well, surprise. 12 hours ago I was a guy".

The look on his face is priceless. "I need to go drink the bleach I just bought"

"Not like that though. I just, uhm, got here from earth, and the move made me older and well, changed my shape and purpose, if you catch my drift"

Jason is sickened now to. "I'm catching it, but I don't want to"

Whooves changes the subject. "Your from earth too?"

I only want to have to explain all this once more. "Yeah, I'll explain when we get to Vinyl and Octavia's house"

Whooves looks Jason questioningly. "We're going to see Tavi?"

Jason replies. "Eeyup"

Author's Note

Tell me what you thought of this below!

Congrats, you broke physics

I walk into the kitchen, unsure of what to do with myself. I see a jar of jelly, and a loaf of bread laying on the counter. And one of my awesome and wierd thoughts pop into my head.

"Hey, Whooves, if you spread jelly on bread, it always lands on the jelly side, right?"

He looks at me. "Yup. What are you thinking?"

"Something. Watch" I try to open the jar of jelly, but I don't have fingers. I sit there for a few moments trying to open it. I give up and just glare at it, wishing it would open itself.

I'm surprised when a dark green aura envelopes the can, lifting it a few inches off the counter. I can't figure out what's going on, until I remember I'm a unicorn. I facehoof.

I concentrate on the jar, and think off twisting the cap. I end up twisting the jar off of the cap, but it accomplished the same thing.

Now onto the bread. I focus on the plastic packaging, on the tiny twist tie. But I'm not ready for tiny things like that, as I end up ripping the the end of the bag. Great. I pull out one slice of bread, and concentrate on it while I pick up a blob of jelly. A bead of sweat appears on my forehead. I generously coat both side of the bread with jelly.

"So what happens when I drop this?" I ask him rhetorically. I lift it up off the counter, and then release it and watch it drop to the floor. It stays perfectly upright, lands on its crust, and stays there standing upright.

"Congratulations. You broke physics and space time" Whooves says dryly.

"Oh noes! Is I gonna die?!" I ask sarcastically.

"We're all going to die"

I fall to my knees, and put my hands, er, hooves in the air. "Oh, what pony gods there may be, what the buck have I done?"

Whooves does a facehoof.

Author's Note

Hey, I was bored yesterday so I wrote this. It's not really important to the story, just a little something that popped into my head. I guess it serves the purpose of showing me trying to use magic for the first time.