It wasn't always like this.
In fact, one would dare say that things were quite simple. Simple enough to fall into the blanket of slumber with exhausted, satisfied grins on some nights. Simple enough to wake up the very next morning, smiling at the groggy eyes staring back. Simple enough to damn the consequences and do it all over again. Yes, Rainbow Dash was fond of those times. Those distantly simple times. Even as her eyes glared through the haze of sleep, she could only wish those times returned.
But at that moment, such a wish fell short to her companion's retreat.
"Where are you going?"
The question struck the desired effect, giving the shifting orange shade a moment of pause, and Rainbow hoped that the stabbing burn of her glare could be felt. Every last sting.
"Home, Rainbow. Should'a skedaddled on outta here sooner."
Rainbow's teeth bared. Leave it to a stubborn farmer to cut through the bone with one little sentence. Rainbow lifted her head from the bed of fallen leaves, a cold breeze needling her fur.
"But you didn't. You didn't because you didn't want to.", Rainbow's voice was low, almost threatening, "So what's your excuse now?"
Rainbow's glare only hardened unto her stout-still friend, somehow knowing the answer to her own question. Only at the hollow silence did Rainbow's blood boil. Oh, that wretched, intolerable silence.
"Well? Let's hear it, Applejack. It can't be as bad as your other excuses."
Again, the desired effect was achieved. Rainbow had to suppress the grin tugging at her lips when Applejack spun to her direction, blonde locks whipping against the night. The heated Pegasus gladly met her fellow mare's hostility, shooting to her own hooves.
"That's not fair, Rainbow!"
"Fair?! You can't talk to me about fair! Not when you're the one leaving!"
Rainbow had to mentally refrain from taking her trembling hoof across the apple farmer's muzzle. She grit her teeth, once again vexed by Applejack's unbearable silence. Even more so, when Applejack severed eye-contact.
"This ain't right, RD. We both know this wasn't supposed to happen."
"Since when did that stop you?!", Rainbow pointed at Applejack, accusing. "You didn't have a problem the first time! OR the times after that!"
Rainbow was sure that the stubborn farm pony fell short of a retort. Brows tightly knitted, Rainbow savored her sweet victory, and waited for Applejack's next lame excuse. Then her rage exploded when her eyes were met with said farmer's turned flank. Composure obliterated, Rainbow's reflexes acted all their own, and her legs threw her directly in Applejack's path before she could even hope to stop herself.
"Don't you dare ignore me, Applejack!", Rainbow commanded. Her voice becoming hoarse.
"Get out of my way! This ain't what I want, and y'all gotta stop pretendin' that it is!", Applejack retorted.
Rainbow's body went rigid; she might as well had been kicked in the teeth. Her fur ruffled with chilling contempt as Applejack walked passed her. And though Applejack obviously wanted nothing more to with this conversation, her muscles seized, ending all movement, and ushered a blank stare into the night. One word is all it took to smite her still, one word to tempt her with all terrible things she really wanted to say.
"Liar..."
The wind howled a tense, wayward tune, whisking the moist grass and weightless leaves. Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash turned to Applejack.
"Is that all it's been, Applejack? Just a big fat lie?"
"No, Rainbow. It wasn't a lie. Just-... I made a mistake."
"That's a lie."
"Rainbow... Look, I'm so-"
"IT'S A LIE!"
Even if breath from the other pony hitched into her lungs, Rainbow did not hear it. Even if the world steeped into an unrecognizable swash of distorted waviness, Rainbow did not care. All she could do now was unleash the fire that seared though her beating veins, the sorrow that choked her voice below tolerable volume.
"Every time we talked about what happened after that stupid race, you said it was okay. You said you were happy I was such a stubborn mule. And now... Now you're telling me it was all a mistake? That everything we did meant nothing?", Rainbow's eyes softened for a time. Asking, almost begging for a response. For anything, really.
Yet, the only thing she received was that horrible, unacceptable silence. Rainbow's eyes narrowed, finally aware of the brimming moisture, finally ready to snap. And snap she did... when her hoof collided with the side of Applejack's face. Rainbow allowed no retort, no recovery. There was only her pain, and the filthy, lying pig gawking back at her, holding her darkened cheek.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST TELL ME ALL THOSE THINGS AND THROW ME ASIDE?! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST MAKE ME BELIEVE YOU, AND LEAVE LIKE EVERYTHINGS OKAY?!"
That scratchy, whining voice, grate against Applejack's teeth, squinting her eyes, and drawing her breath in sharp. Only when sparkling tears cascaded down cyan cheeks did Applejack truly comprehend the magnitude of her decision. And only then, had Applejack realized that she had never seen Rainbow cry. She didn't much care for it.
"SAY SOMETHING, DAMMIT!"
She couldn't. She could only stand there, choked by her own shame, paralyzed by the gravity of her mistake. More tears fell from those hateful, magenta eyes. More fear crippled Applejack's hammering heart.
"I-... I-I'm sorry-"
"SHUT UP! Just-!... Shut up! (hic) Stupid..."
That was it. Rainbow's voice crackling from horribly contained sobs was all it took for Applejack to succumb to an inherent instinct. Whether such a thing ran in the family, or if it could only be explained as an 'earth pony' thing, Applejack didn't even try to stop herself from burying her muzzle in Rainbows neck. She heard the stunned Pegasus gasp sharply, but she didn't stop. She couldn't stop. Even as Rainbow jerked away, Applejack would guide her head back to her, desperate to eradicate this pain, uncaring of her beloved Stetson toppling to the grass.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry."
Applejack would apologize again and again, and would mean it just a little more. Her tears finally fell freely, dampening Rainbow's fur with her forceful nuzzles. Suddenly everything was cold. Much colder than it should have been. A feeling that beckoned the orange mare closer. And closer she would move, even with every punishing curse thrown at her: 'Liar', 'Pretender', 'Hypocrite', Applejack made certain that she was as close as possible.
And still she could only apologize.
Far gone was the young Apple, failing to notice Rainbow actually nuzzling her back, their faces grazing each other's sides. The night winds died long ago, the leaf-blanketed hills of Sweet Apple Acres echoing of heartbroken sobs.
"I'm sorry...", Applejack cried.
"No more... I forgive you, alright?", Rainbow could only whisper, her hostility zapped.
"I'm so sorry..."
No, it wasn't always like this.
In fact, one would dare say that things were quite simple. A fond simplicity that spawned only joy and excitement. Never had it drove the best of friends into bickering opponents, nose-diving into a doomed romance. Applejack remembered those times. Times when she welcomed a friendly race becoming something more. Times when she embraced the Running of the Leaves with the fondest of memories. Times when her brain wasn't screaming at her to pull her tongue out of Rainbow Dash's throat.
But those times were over, and Applejack wasn't about to comply with her brain.
There, they remained, smacks and breathless moans disturbing the starlit silence. Only with the lung-burning necessity for oxygen, did they break away, forehead to forehead, leering unto one another. Desperate. Hungry.
"Stay with me tonight... That's not a request."
Rainbow didn't know. She could never know. She could never know the pain it caused Applejack to hear those words. Nor could she begin to understand the pain it caused her to obey without question. But seeing the folly of her hypocrisy? Seeing her best mistake at it's absolute worst? Seeing Rainbow Dash vulnerable, destroyed?
Maybe Applejack could handle that pain.
