The Lucas Chronicles #3: The Body-Switch Escapade
Hello. My name is Lucas. First thing I should make note of, I'm a human living in the 'magical' world of Equestria. How I got here, however, is an entirely different story for another day. But since you're here, I'm assuming you've heard of the Television show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Yeah, they don't role the cameras when I'm around, and when I am around and they desperately want a certain moment, they tell me to basically sit in a corner and be quiet, just because I'm a human. Bull crap, I know, but what can ya do? I should probably also note that the one known as Twilight Sparkle has allowed me to live in her tree library with her for the time being. Anyway, lots of funny stuff happens between the 'Mane 6', as I remember the Internet used to call them, and myself when the cameras are not rolling. This is one of those times.
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"I'm telling you Pinkie," I spoke as I walked, "I don't care how fast Rainbow Dash is, there is no way she is faster than Sonic the Hedgehog!" Twilight invited us over to see a new spell that she's been working on, and the topic of who is the fastest thing alive popped up. For no apparent reason either. Immediately, all the ponies answered Rainbow Dash, but I disagreed. I knew for a fact that Sonic the Hedgehog was the fastest.
Pinkie retorted, "Well, Dashie can do a Sonic Rainboom!"
I wasn't impressed. "So? If Sonic has ring energy, he can make a sonic boom instantaneously while standing still AND he can do it every few seconds. How long does it take Rainbow Dash to do a Sonic Rainboom?"
She replied, "Umm... It takes her quite a while to prepare..."
"Case closed." I said triumphantly.
"But..."
"Hey, look! We're here!" I cut her off. We walked inside and were greeted by all the other ponies. Twilight was the first to speak. "What took you two so long? We can't do this without Pinkie Pie!"
Pinkie spoke, "Lucas is stubborn."
I retorted, "Well then!"
Rainbow Dash questioned me, "Are you still hung up on that whole 'Sonic the Hedgehog is faster then me' thing?"
"Guys, please," Twilght interrupted. "I really need to try out this spell. Alright everypony, get into position. Lucas, you just go do whatever it is humans do in this situation."
"KK." I said as I sat in the corner. I pulled out my Nintendo 3DS and began playing Pokémon. I was curious to see how Twilight's spell would turn out, so I continued to watch them. Twilight's horn began to glow. There was a thunderous bang, then a bright light... Man, that sure is bright... Then... I passed out.
When I came to, I was in a strange room. Where am I? This doesn't look like Twilight's library... I twisted my head to observe my surroundings. It looks like it's all made of clouds... Due to me turning my head, my hair fell in front of my eyes... Is it... Rainbow Colored?!? I ran to find the nearest mirror. When I found one, I looked into it and saw not my reflection, but Rainbow Dash's. I sighed. "Well," I said aloud. "I guess I better head to Twilight's to fix this. But there's one problem... I have no idea how to fly." I looked out the nearest window only to see the ground miles below me. "And it's looks like I have to fly in order to get out of here." I unfurled my wings and jumped. Probably not my best idea... Because I began to fall. Then, through some form of miracle, I flew... fast. Okay, this is a bit too fast. "HOLY CRAP!!" I yelled. "I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT THE HECK I'M DOING!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
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"Ah... My head..." Twilight awoke. "Did it work?" She looked around only to notice she was in Fluttershy's cottage. "Why am in Fluttershy's cottage?" Then she looked at herself. "WHY AM I IN FLUTTERSHY'S BODY?!? Oh no... The spell must've gone horribly wrong!" With that she rushed out of the cottage and back to her home. When she arrived, she was greeted by four other ponies. She figured what happened so she asked, "Okay, so who's who?"
'Rarity' was the first to speak up. "I'm Rainbow Dash... Man, it sucks not being able to fly..."
The pony in Twilight's body that also wore Applejack's hat spoke next, "I reckon I'm Applejack. I still don't understand all yer fancy unicorn magic."
'Applejack' was the next to speak, "I am Rarity. Being stuck in this body is so revolting..."
Applejack, the real one, warned, "Watch it."
'Pinkie Pie' was the last to say something, "Umm... I'm Fluttershy... I think..."
Twilight thought aloud, "Okay, so now that just leaves-" BOOOOMM!! She was cut off by the sound of an explosion, followed by me flying through the roof. "So who are you in Rainbow Dash's body?"
I responded very spaztically, "I have no idea how to fly and I think I moved like a bajillion and four clouds to one side of town, leaving none on the other side. I think I killed a pony with thunderbolts and flooded the Everfree forest and I think I destroyed Cloudsdale with a Nuclear Sonic Rainboom!"
"Okay so you're Lucas- Wait, YOU DID WHAT?" Twilght questioned.
Rainbow Dash interjected and grin, "So, I'm pretty fast, huh?"
I replied nonchalantly, "Yeah. Just not as fast Sonic." Her expression changed to an unamused one. Then, Twilight told me who was in whose body. I spoke again. "This is so silly! I mean just look how silly this is!" Just then, I saw something I hoped I'd never see. I saw myself bouncing and saying, "Chimmy-cherry or Cherry-chonga?" repeatedly.
Twilight was momentarily shocked, "Oh...oh... Ooooooh...." Then, she began laughing as I began to walk out. "Ok- Lucas, don't leave. Lucas, don't-" She gasped for air as I reached the door. "LUUUUUCAAAAASS!!" I stopped and turned around. "We neeeed you!"
I replied, "No, I'm freaking done. I'm freaking done."
"No you're not!" Twilight said in between the laughter.
"This is bullcrap!" I said. "This is freaking bullcrap!"
Pinkie continued to ramble, "There cupcakes, pound cakes, regular cakes-"
"WHAT IS THIS?" I shouted. "WHAT IS THIS?!? WHAT IS MY LIFE?!?"
"Lucas-" Twilight started.
"I can't do it, Twilight! I CAN'T FREAKING DO IT ANYMORE!"
She began to shout, "Well, I tell you what! You can either give up now, or you can dig it up because we can't do it without you, and I know you can't do it without us!"
I sniffed. "... I appreciate it. But look what I'm dealing with!" I pointed at Pinkie in my body.
Twilight started again, "Heh, Lucas-"
I cut her off, "We gotta draw the line somewhere! We gotta draw the freaking line in the sand! We gotta make a statement! We gotta look inside ourselves and say, 'What am I willing to put up with today?' NOT FREAKING THIS!"
Just then, Celestia walked through the door with three large potato sacks. The other ponies, including the one in my body, bowed to her. But I did not, and I calmy said, "Yeah, I'm still not bowing for reasons we've already discussed. What's in the bags, and why are they squirming?"
She spoke with a regal tone, "Ah, Lucas. I see Twilight used a body switching spell. I'm curious to hear about her findings. As for my bags..." She opened to reveal my friends from earth and the other members of the ArchwayTeam, Jeremy, Isaac, and Ben.
I was honestly shocked, "You kidnapped them?!? WHY?!? Now four of us are stuck here!"
Isaac was the first to speak. "Well, this is a butt-ton of crap."
Ben spoke, "Why have you taken us? Why is Lucas bouncing around and being generally more annoying than usual? And why does the rainbow pony talk like Lucas?"
Isaac spoke again, "I think remember that one. It's Rainbow Dashie from the story Lucas sent to us that he thought was sad, My Little Dashie, was it?" He spoke to me. "Did you ever make it back to your dad?"
I replied, "Uh, Isaac, I'm pretty sure that one was just a story."
Celestia interjected before anyone could speak more. "I brought you all here to help Lucas stop a future problem from happening. As for Ben's other questions, my student, Twilight Sparkle, is conducting an experiment with a body switching spell."
Twilight interjected, "Um, actually, it was an accident, and now we're trying to figure out how to fix it."
Celestia stated, "Oh. In that case, I shall gather the materials to put you each in you're proper bodies. In the mean time, just hang tight." She left as silence drowned the room. Then, Jeremy spoke for the first time since arriving. "How do we know that that's actually Lucas?"
Ben walked and put his arm around my neck. "I believe it's Lucas... This feels really awkward..."
I retorted, "You have no room to talk. I'm a freaking pony. And Jeremy, to prove I'm me, remember this? 'I love all trees! Birch, spruce, oak, and Fluttertrees! Those are the least annoying of them all!'"
Jeremy responded, "Yep. That's him... I hate you..."
I smiled, "I know. So, guys, these are my friends from earth, Jeremy, Isaac, and Ben. All four of us make the ArchwayTeam. Ben is very creative and is an incredible builder."
"Hey." He said.
I continued, "Jeremy is extremely good with computers and he formed the ArchwayTeam."
"Derp." That's his way of saying hi.
"And lastly, Isaac is good at intimidation and making my wrist feel as if it's about to break. Actually, I don't think you can do it anymore for the time being." I showed him my hoof. Instead of speaking, he grabbed my hoof and bent it with immense strength. "OWOWOWOW! K, You can still do it! Ah! Ow!" He let go. I sighed in relief. Then he did it again. "Ah! Ah! Ah! WHY'D YOU DO IT TWICE?!? OWOWOW!"
He barked, "You are a freaking rainbow pony!"
I yelled back, "That isn't my fault! It was Twilight's!" He released again... And then he did it to Twilight. I continued introducing them as Twilight howled in pain. "Fluttershy, you may remember Isaac as Invisibl3 Panda from playing Terraria that one time during the Snowball War."
Isaac spoke as he was bending Twilight's hoof, "I remember that. She wouldn't let me kill the bunnies, so I turned PvP on and killed her multiple times as Dr. Blue. Then I killed more bunnies."
Fluttershy spoke up, "What you did was not nice, killing poor, defenseless bunnies like that. You should be ashamed!"
Isaac replied, "Pathetic."
"What did you say?! I'm going to teach you a lesson!" She fumed.
Jeremy look excited. "Dis gon b gud!" He exclaimed as he grabbed a chair and popcorn seemingly out of nowhere. Ben, Pinkie Pie, and I did the same. But before anything could happen, Celestia returned, saw what was about to go down and quickly broke it up. Needless to say, we were majorly disappointed. "I am now going to return you to your bodies now. Alright?" We were all in agreement. She cast her magic, and there was a bright light. This time, instead of blacking out, we were still in the library. I examined my body. Let's see... Fingers... A nose... Toes... It worked! I'm back in my own body! "So now what?" I questioned.
Celestia replied. "I must go back to Cantorlot for reasons you cannot know. Have fun until you are needed again."
After she left, Jeremy suggested, "I brought my Xbox 360. We should hook it up."
And so that day, I learned how to not fly, everybody learned that body switching is really confusing, the ArchwayTeam taught the Mane 6 how to play Xbox.
It was good day.
THE END