Chapters Why won't they stop? Why do the keep making fun of me? Why can't they all just buck off? All things Rainbow Dash had to ask her self as she lay weeping on a cloud. A cloud particularly high up. A cloud good for what she intended to do. "I'm not a fillyfooler," she muttered, tears streaming. Rainbow Dash has been made fun of for the last time. No longer would she let them berate her. She would end it, and they would feel sorry that they ever said anything negative about the amazing Rainbow Dash. They would rue the day they attacked her with such false accusations. Never again would they insult another.
Dash rose, looking out across the distance. She was high in the air. Higher than she thought she could go. So high she could see the curve of the world, and the distant lands of the griffin empire. A mist seeming to cover the far off horizon. She changed her glance down to the equestrian soil beneath her. She sighed. Her end was nigh. She closed her eyes, turned around, and balanced her self on her hind legs. She flapped her wings once, giving her just enough push to fall backwards and off the cloud. She held her wings close to her, struggling against the instinct that told her to flap like crazy. Tear drops left her eyes, falling behind her.
Her eyes were shut tight, for fear of seeing the approaching doom of the ground. Once, they opened, then shut back immediately. It was too late for second thoughts. But thoughts be damned, Dash felt guilty. Guilty for leaving her friends behind, for being too weak to handle all of the bigotry being shoved down her gullet. Too weak to shy away from the mountainous, psyche damaging, hate that destroyed her fragile self-esteem.
It seemed like the end would never come. For the cold oblivion to relieve her of her worldly troubles. To cover her, to claim her, like it will everypony that had ever existed. Even Celestia could not evade its grasp forever. Her eyes flashed open yet again, and this time she found her end to be much closer. She squeezed them shut again. Waiting for the stop. Waiting to feel cold. The coldness didn't come. And the stop was only replaced by a change in direction, one that was not so sudden as one might think.
For a third time her eyes opened up, and met another set. She gasped at the pair of icy blue eyes, and for the slightest of moments the feeling hooves on her body had her feeling a splendid comfort. She flailed her limbs about causing a look of distress to over come the easy going eyes, as they both tumbled, skidding to a stop in the dirt, prompting screams from both. Almost humorously they slammed into a tree, briefly causing both of their eyes to twirl about in their sockets.
Rainbow shook her head until her eyes stopped their roaming, and let them settle on the 'savior' the sat adjacent to her. They were a mare pegasus, coat just as icy as her eyes, and a white mane, blown back by the wind. Rainbow Dash didn't know whether to insult, or to thank the other, as her own mind was still in a war over if she wanted to die or live, despite having just attempted suicide.
"You're welcome!" the other pony scorned.
"Hey, I didn't ask you to catch me!" Rainbow crossed her forhooves stubbornly.
"Yeah, well don't ask me to save your life ever again, you ungreatful pony!" With that said, she took to the sky leaving Rainbow Dash in regret that the other was gone.
"W-wait, I'm sorry!" Rainbow shouted in vain. The pony was gone. Already out of sight. If not for the enveloping sadness she would have admired the other pony's speed.
Dash sat alone under the tree, a shadow veiling her sobbing form. There were some things she knew were just out of reach. And it would appear as though hope was just out of reach. Just past the line of despair that bound her so. Or more likely it was lost, and would remain so until she mustered the courage to search for it. To claw away the muck, and the dirt that covered it. To save it, from being devoured by the self hatred that was clawing its way up from the deep pit of Dash's emotions.
She looked to the sky. The sun setting just behind the mountain that Canterlot was built on. She sighed. Tears fell. She wiped them away, before standing and shaking the dirt from her sky blue coat. For a moment she wondered how the other pony could distinguish her from the sky. She took off, flapping her wings slowly. Her emotion being the only thing that held her down. Her emotion being the heaviest thing she ever had to haul. Its weight keeping her close to the ground.
Where she was off to, she didn't know. Only that where ever it may be, she needed to search for hope.
A lone pegasus blazed across the sky, silently crying. She hadn't even made a move, and already Dash had rejected her. I Don't need her, she told her self,The sky is the only friend I need. She knew this was all a lie. She couldn't live her life in a cold wrap of sky and cloud. She needed a lovers comfort. She needed. She couldn't help that she liked mares, anymore than she could help how tantalizing the sky was to her.
She zoomed past a pair of ponies in each others embrace. That was what she wanted. Only she wanted a mare. She had come to peace with her love of the same sex, it's just that no one else was. It was time to settle down. Calm her nerves. Find her happy place, above the blanket of clouds that separated this world from what seemed like another.
She emerged from underneath, laying on her back immediately. Letting the blood cease its violent rush through her body. She wiped the remaining liquid from her face, the fur on her face drying. And slowly the peaceful oblivion of sleep cradled her. Letting her escape from this judgmental world.
Dashing Away
The pegasus' cloud had separated it self from the rest of the clouds that hung high, creating an almost island like bunch of poofy cloud. She lay on her stomach, snoring. A small bundle of cloud rising and falling in tune with her breathing. She would remain this way for sometime. Always a heavy sleeper.
Hours passed. The young mare had rolled over to lie on her back. Awake, but refusing to admit it to herself. She simply didn't want to deal with everything at the moment. She was perfectly content right where she was. But rule one in life, is that things don't always go your way.
Something soft and rubbery had bumped in to her backside. It kept prodding her. It was purely relentless. She, though reluctant, she opened her eyes, rubbing them with her for-legs. She scooted to the right, letting a blue, rubber balloon rise slowly from a hole it had carved in the cloud the was serving as her resting place. Attached to said balloon was a string, and attached to that was a letter. She took the folded peace of parchment and opened it, the balloon still tugging from the punched out hole the string was looped through. She read the letter to her self. And she felt her heart wrench. The letter contained the plea of some poor pony, she had not met. Who ever it was, was in a lot of distress. She tried to find a name but sadly, the only words that could have been names, were too smudged by the drip of some liquid, as if the writer had been crying as they wrote.
The winged mare did the only thing she really could do. She let it go, and hoped that some one who who could help, received this letter, then took off. Sleep was still deeply rooted in her bones, but she knew she needed to get going any way. She flew through the sky, what seemed to be her only friend. Scanning the ground for somewhere to eat, she found a small town, a cozy town. She was sure there was somewhere she could eat there. She need only look.
Dash's wings brought her to a fount of fun, and laughter that everypony in Ponyville sought at one time or another. The party pony her self. Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash opened the door, a metal bell greeting her only a moment before Pinkie.
"Dashie, Dashie, Dashie!"
Rainbow was already smiling.
"What's up my pony!" Dash said with uprising happiness.
"Oh, nothin'. I'm just super happy to see the awesomest, fastest, and dashest of all the pegasi in the whole, wide world!"
Rainbow Dash chuckled, "Now Pinkie, just because I'm so amazing doesn't mean I'm the fastest of them all." Dash giggled, "But I totally am!"
Pinkie hugged Dash, and Dash's heart fluttered. But why? Was it the embrace of somepony else? To feel like some one genuinely cared? Yes, yes it was. It was the main reason she came to see this pony. Pinkie could, and would make the most self-loathing pony in existence feel like a king. Sometimes Rainbow Dash even wanted to be like Pinkie. To be so filled to the brim with such happiness, that you just couldn't care what other's thought about you.
Pinkie let go of Rainbow Dash, and zipped behind the counter. "Now, I know you aren't leaving with out something to make your tumbly, quit a rumblyin'."
Rainbow smirked at her word-play, as clumsy and nonsensical as it was.
"Step right up," Pinkie closed her eyes, waving a hoof to the glass display case,"We've got it all, and just a teeny, tad bit more, and when I say that it's the truth! Cakes, cupcakes, eclair's, doughnuts, doughnut holes, crumpets, and cream, candy, that's dandy an-"
The bell was struck by the door again. In walked an icy blue mare, apparently in search of some food. This led two separate looks, to the other two ponies faces. On Rainbow Dash: a slack jaw, and pupils shrinking at the same mare who had saved her. On Pinkie's: a soundless gasp, and pupils that shrank even smaller than Dash's.
All the attention in the room rushed to meet Pinkie, as she rushed up, and held the new pony's hoof, shaking it almost violently. Rainbow Dash simply rolled her eyes. Yeas Pinkie, was with out a doubt an affection filled, and great friend, and yes she was with out a doubt, over baring at times. This was one of those times. When ever a new pony made their way into town, Pinkie must become acquainted. And the pony who had saved Dash, was a new pony.
Dash stood aside, letting Pinkie do her song and dance. Watching the other pegasus cower. Watching random bystanders join in, leaving their tables and food unattended. After it was all, thankfully, over Pinkie stood up on her hind legs, breathing heavily through her teeth, a forced smile stretched across the frame of her face.
"Um, uh, thank you, for the, wonderful dance," the frightened pegasus said, forcing an awkward smile to part her lips. Her teeth, showed as white as her hair.
"You Welcome!" Pinkie screeched, then bolting into the back room, clanking of dish's and cranking of knobs to be heard.
Rainbow Dash looked at the mare for the first time, taking note of her cutie mark. A white flame. "Listen, I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier." Was she apologizing? Well that was unexpected. "You, uhm. You're obviously new in town so lemme' get you something to eat. Eh? As a sign of my uh, what ever, ya' want something or not?"
"Sure! I mean, err yeah thanks. Name's-"
Just as she was about to finish her sentence, Pinkie appeared yet again. Scaring the new pony to the ground. In her hooves Pinkie held out a cake with the words 'HAPPY FRIENDSHIP!' written across the top in bold, red icing.
"Hope you like vanilla!" Pinkie said, beaming down on the mare in the floor.
"Of course." she replied, forcing another grin.
Rainbow Dash laughed at the pony's display.
The sun was just setting past the horizon, and the three ponies were gathered arong a small table in the back corner of the dining area. In front of them lay an empty pan, that once contained the most delicious cake this new pony had ever tasted.
"Thanks for the cake. . .," she started, having forgotten the name of the master chef.
"Pinkie Pie," Pinkie Pie, swayed her body back and forth as she spoke, speeding up her speech at random.
Rainbow Dash started to speak, but stopped as the ring of the door bell overcame the noises emitting from her mouth. In stepped the only pony she had ever harbored so much hatred for. The only pony she had ever wanted to kill. The one who spread the rumor that she was what she wasn't to begin with. Blazing Saddle. A maroon colored, earth pony.
He stood as if they should be impressed that he might dare to walk into a building that was not his own establishment. Pinkie cocked her head. Dash's face contorted into a frown. And the third little pony? Well she had no idea what was going on.
"Well if it isn't the looney toon, and the snatch snacker" he said, a-matter-of-factly.
Pinkie only frowned.
"Shut up Blaze." Rainbow said, annoying the sting of the insult slung at her.
"Oh shut up! I don't have to take that from a fillyfooler!"
"You insulted me first!" Dash attempted reason, trying to hold back forming tears.
"'Cause you're bottom of the barrel! Go diddle your filly friend somewhere else!"
The third mare perked up.
"She isn't my fillyfriend, and I'm not a fillyfooler!" Dash yelled, slamming her for-hooves on the table, as the start of tears forming, and a scheduled thunder storm ripped the sky open.
"Fillyfooler," he said.
"Am not!"
"Are to!"
"Shut up!" Dash was crying now.
"Fillyfooler!"
Dash stood up, "stop it!"
"Then leave trash!"
Dash rushed out, sobbing. That one hurtful insult was all it took. The one thing she could not stand to be called more than anything else. To Dash, to be called trash was what rendered her useless.Made her feel incapable of anything. The only insult the hit her lower than 'fillyfooler'.
Pinkie and the other pegasus were still sitting, dumbfounded. Blazing Saddle laughed, as the poor mare ran into the storm. Rain matting her fur to her sky blue colt. People would see her fall tonight. People would know why she fell.
The mare's face turned from a blank stare, to a furious scowl. The kind of stallion before her was one of the many reasons she had marked herself a fillyfooler.
"Was that really necessary?" She asked, showing her teeth.
"Yeah, it was!" He replied.
"No it wasn't!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Was to!" He changed his glance towards her.
"How exactly?" The other mare spoke up again.
"She's a fillyfooler!" He snapped.
"That's no reason to harass her until she runs away crying!"
"And Dash don't cry easily!" Pinkie added.
"She's a fillyfooler! An' I'd bet you are too!" He said, voice getting quiter.
"Yeah, I am!" She screamed, "And why is that a bad thing? So I like to bed mares! You do it too, at least from what you say. Why can't I!" She stepped forward.
Pinkie glanced at her.
"W-well, because it's, uh, unnatural." He cowared slightly.
"Unnatural? Seriously? Do you know how many 'modern conviences' are unnatural?" She shook her head, "You are so stupid."
He perked up, "And you're a fillyfooler." he smirked.
Pinkie frowned.
The mare bucked him, straight in the face, sending him through the door. The next moment she galloped outside too, taking to the air, as rain pelted her indiscriminately. She shot through the air, searching for Dash. She felt like she needed her. She felt like it was her fault some how. She cut swaths, through the sky. A streak of white tailing her.
Far off she could see a sky blue blip, against the dark grey clouds of the storm. It had to be a pony. She sped towards the pony as they seemed to climb a grey cumulonibus cloud. The white haired mare, flapped her wings harder and harder until it was straight shot to the pony hovering above the cloud. She could make out the rainbow mane, and the sky blue coat of the fellow mare. And then, their rapid approach.
The mare acted quickly, ensuring that she dodged Dash's quick fall. She stopped and hovered, looking down to see Rainbow falling into the night. Her face shifted from pure determination, to out right shock. With speed only bested by the falling pegasus, the mare flew as fast as she could completely vertical. Hoping she could catch up in time.
Dash was certain she was going to end it. Certain that she would no longer be subject to ridicule. And she was damned certain that her pathetic life would stop now. She opened her eyes, like she did earlier that day, the ground was fast approaching. She shut them tight. Waiting for the the end. Waiting for release.
Just as she was about to hit the earth, a pair of hooves wrapped themselves around Dash's body, and zipped away. She opened her eyes, pure hate filling them. They found the ground sliding away, underneath her, as she was carried into the air being held by icy blue hooves. It couldn't be, could it? She craned her neck, looking behind her, to confirm her suspicions.
"We've gotta stop meeting like this, Dash!" The nameless one said, her voice raised over the storm, and slightly comical.
"Put me down!" Dash began to flail her arms about, "can't ya' see I wanted to do that!"
The mare ignored her commands, and instead flew over a large cloud wall, and into a large bowl made of the dark storm clouds. Lightning struck its drum of the earth in the distance, the sound of thunder booming. She flew to the center, struggling to keep a good hold on Rainbow Dash. She dropped her into the clouds, as she was, ridiculously accused of ponynapping.
"What's your problem!" Dash snapped upon landing.
"My problem? I'm not the one who just attempted suicide." She landed in front of Rainbow Dash, looking her in the eye.
"I-I did not." She looked away, her eyes tearing up.
"Yes you did, and I bet that's what you were doing this morning too."
Rainbow Dash felt cornered. "I, uh, I was trying a new stunt."
"Is that why your wings were clamped to your sides?"
"Oh, shut up! I don't need to take this from you!" Dash thrust herself into the air again, but was yanked back to the soft storm cloud under her, in a manner that reminded her of Applejack. "Lemme' go, you wouldn't understand!"
"Yes I would, I know what you're dealing with, Dash. Let me help you."
"Rainbow Dash, doesn't need help!"
"Everypony needs help sometimes, Rainbow."
Rainbow Dash tried to fly away again, but before she could even leave the cloud, the mare pounced on her, keeping her stationary. She stopped her futile attempts, and stayed put beginning to cry again. She lay there, the other pony standing over her. She felt low. She felt like trash. She felt like trash, for letting that stallions words injure her so.
The other mare leaned down, brushing against Dash's ear,"I can help you. I know what you're going through." The pony whispered. The whisper was soothing, but still loud enough to be heard over the distant lightning strikes, and the roaring thunder, that played an orchestra of the clouds volition.
"N-no. I-I, You can't." Dash whimpered.
"I went through the same thing, Rainbow. I know what you feel like."
Rainbow Dash crawled out from under the mare above her, tears falling through the clouds below them, to be mixed with rain.
"Dash please, listen."
"Y-you can't help me. I'm just too pathetic."
"Dash, I can help you. I've dealt with my share of bullies, and I know a thing or two about 'em."
"B-but,-"
"Rainbow, what exactly is wrong with being a fillyfooler?"
Dash wiped a tear away, "N-nothing, I guess. It's ju-"
"Then why should you be offended so much when that stallion calls you one?"
"It's more than just him. I can hear other ponies, call me one behind my back." Dash was looking at the cloud under her, as she spoke. Tears falling one after the other.
"So?"
No response.
The ice blue mare raised Dash's head with her hoof. She looked straight into her eyes. She examined every feature of her face, the eyes lined with tears. The ears flattened against her head. Her adorable mane. The cerise barrier that separated the deep black of her pupils, from the pristine white of her sclera. "Are you a fillyfooler."
"I-I'm n-"
The mare, closed the small gap seperating the two. She planted a kiss on Dash's lips, startling her. Rainbow's eyes shot open entirely. She wanted to pull away, but her body denied her that. A plethora of feelings, she had not felt until now opened up. She wasn't a fillyfooler, but she had to say she felt something for this mare. Something beyond the blossoming of a friendship.
The pony who had stolen a kiss, stepped back, smirking. "Well?"
"I-I don't know."
"Well, you sure seemed to like that kiss." The ponies smirk, grew to be a grin.
"I don't even know your name though. I mean, you seem real nice, and you've made it pretty darn clear you like me too, but, I don't know. I-I just don't know."
"Frozen Fire." The mare said abruptly, a jarring crack of thunder masking the later half of her name.
"What?" Rainbow asked, equally abrupt.
"My name, I go by Frozen Fire."
Dash smiled, despite her teary face. "That's a cool name."
"That's why I chose it."
"You chose your name?" Dash said, still grinning.
"Yeah, of course. My parents gave me a super lame name. S'why I chose Frozen Fire."
"What was that name?"
She smiled again. "I thinks it's a little too early in out relationship to tell you that."
For the next few weeks, everything seemed okay. The insults tossed at Dash meant less, and less to her, and she knew that, even if they did, there was not six, but seven people she could depend on to love her. Her friends would love her for who she was, Frozen Fire reminded her of that.
Things felt complicated at first, but they grew together. Dash would skip cloud duty, just to be with Fire. They would spend the day at SugarCube Corner with Pinkie, or even go to Sweet Apple Acres, and see Applejack. But more often than anything else, they raced. They were both speed demons by birth, so naturally they would compete. One could barely tell the difference between them, because of their coats. But this was not for the average citizens amusement. It was dimply to be together. To be with the pony who, Dash realized, saved her life, not once, but twice. And in the same day. Rainbow Dash owed her everything.
Of course, no body knew of their relationship but them. All that Dashie's friends knew, was that Frozen Fire was a good friend of hers. But they simply didn't know how far that friendship extended. They didn't know of the kisses, and nuzzles they stole when no one was looking. They hadn't the slightest clue, much to Fire's annoyance. Tensions ran higher, and higher.
The two pegasi sped through the sky, cutting, and shattering clouds, greeted with a moist refreshment from each. Air wipped at their hair, and held their fur pinned to their bodies. Dash was lagging behind, but she was gaining speed, fast. Her eyes watered, and it felt like the bones in her wings would rip from them any second now. She soldiered on, approaching from Frozen's flank, then soaring over her. She dropped just in front of her marefriend, letting her tail splash into her face.
Frozen Fire faltered from this, what she did not expect. She slowed, slightly, then veered right trying to get around Dash. Her eyes watered, her head felt light. Though her vision was blurry, and slightly blocked by Dash's right wing, she could see their predetermined finish line, a mountain that jutted up from the earth, a cave having been burrowed through it. She winced, gaining speed, but Dash would not let up.
They zoomed through the cave, and out the other side. If you were watching, you'd think it was tie, but if you were Dash, you knew you had won.
Dash hovered, "Aww, yeah, still got it," she boasted, flexing her forelegs. She was confident, but clearly winded.
"Yeah, maybe, but I def', gave you a run for your money," Frozen smiled, breathing even heavier than Dash.
Dash flew slyly, deceiving Frozen Fire's vision, then reappearing right in front of her face, and delivered a quick peck on the lips. Dash smiled, sweetly, for once. She didn't know what it was, but something about Frozen Fire made her feel simply loving. Gave her feelings she didn't know she was capable of having. Like all she wanted to do was hold the other mare close, and never let go. She din't even feel that way about her friends.
Time would find them at SugarCube Corner, sipping milkshakes, and talking. They were the only ones here, at the moment. Pinkie had her hooves full, for once, and was in the kitchen, likely baking something she would force the two pegasi to taste-test for her. They didn't mind though. As long as they were together.
Frozen Fire grazed her hoof across her glass, peeking up at Rainbow. "So, have you told your friends?"
Dash had been holding her milkshake above her head, humorously, and crudely letting it drain down her gullet. She brought it down, wiping away some of the some of the sweet, vanilla, shake. "About what?" She looked at Fire, clearly oblivious.
"Wha-about us, Dash," Fire looked almost hurt, "We're dating now, don't you think you should tell your friends?"
"O-oh, that. I-I don't think I'm ready, for that kind of- well that," Rainbow Dash stuttered, then continued her sloppy shake guzzling.
Frozen Fire sighed. "When are you going to be ready?" She said, sternly.
Dash stopped her slurping entirely, leaving a bit on the tip of her nose. "I-I don't really know. I mean, how would they take it?"
"They're your friends, Dash, they don't care who you love."
Dash sighed. "Yeah, you're right, but that doesn't make things any easier. I mean, it's like admitting to them that I'm exactly what everyone's been calling me, and it's hard for me to, ya' know-"
Frozen Fire held a hoof up to stop Dash from speaking, and did just that. "Yeah, Dash. I understand." She did not say it kindly, but as if she were exhausted. Like she couldn't take much more of this. "I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay?"
"I thought you were spending the night, tonight?" Dash felt selfish for asking, but she simply wanted to be closer to the pony. And getting intimate seemed like the best way to go about that. Especially since they had been seeing each other for some time now, and not so much as slept in the same bed as each other. Rainbow simply wanted to be closer.
"I know, Dashie, I'm sorry. I-I'm just tired, okay? Maybe tomorrow night." Fire stood up slowly, and neandered to the door. Before leaving she turned and gave Dash a curt wave with her hoof.
Rainbow Dash waved back, not knowing what to think. She slumped down in her seat.
Pinkie walked around the counter, then zipped to Dash, startling the pegasus. Pinkie giggled. "Scared ya' Dashie?"
Rainbow Dash gathered herself, "N-no, no, I uh. No."
"Hehe, sure Dash," she wiped the melted milkshake from the other mare's nose. "So, where'd your friend go?" Pinkie's nose almost touched Dash's.
"Uh, home."
"Aww, I wanted her to stay. I cooked up some really good cookies I wanted you guys to try!"
Dash did like cookies. "Well, Pinks, I'm still here. I can try 'em."
"Yeah, I know, stay right there, 'kay?" Pinkie turned, speeding away as fast as she came, over the counter, and into the kitchen. Dash relaxed in her seat, when Pinkie startled her yet again, this time holding a tray of delicious looking cookies.
Dash indulged. Instantly, her woes ceased troubling her.
Frozen Fire flew, not stopping for anything. Tears fell, and wind howled. She looked at the sun. It was just now starting to set, but the clouds had begun to block out much of the sunlight. They were gray. Rain again?, she thought. Her wings picked her up, bringing her closer, and closer to her house. Deep down. she knew what this evening would behold. A night of self loathing, and general feelings of that nature. She would cry. She would go to sleep that night, holding a pillow close to her, as if to substitute someone that loved her. She tried to fill her head with positive thoughts, but it was increasingly difficult. It was hard to feel positive when you felt like someone was only toying with your emotions.
She, finally, arrived at the dingie, single room, shack, that lied well out of town, and in the hills to the north, she called a home. It was raining now. She opened the door, and took it all in. On the walls, racing posters were pinned. The tacks used to hold them in place were used conservatively, usually only two were used to hold one up. As a result, the ends often curled. Where the walls did not hold posters of The Wonderbolts, or some other obscure flight team, they held medals, and other things that were a record of Fire's history. On a shelf, next to her refrigerator, were trophies that acted in the same way. These things were dear to her. But she still tried to ignore their existence.
She considered reading, or distracting herself in some other way. She could not. She sighed, slumping into her bed. Tears welled up in her eyes. It felt like Dash was the last hope she had of finally finding someone, but that last hope was rejecting her. Her hooves found her second pillow, the one much larger than the one in which she laid her head. She pulled it close, snuggling it deeply, before pulling the quilt her mother had made for her up, to cover them both. She slowly drifted into sleep, balling her eyes out.
